Oyinkan Medubi
I have come to some horrible conclusions about life here on earth. One, it is unpredictable. One minute, you’re worrying about where your next meal will come from; the next you’re worrying about not succumbing to a disease like coronavirus, the origin of which you know nothing about, so that you can stay alive long enough to worry about where your next meal will come from. Another conclusion is that no matter how horrible that disease is, there will be people who will make jokes out of it. Such people are aliens of course pretending to be humans who have come to help us make light of our heavy situations. They come from Pluto, the planet of mirth. Right now, I don’t know whether to laugh at my countrymen’s jokes or cry at my country’s inability to prepare for its coming.
So, I simply took solace in the fact that finally, our wayward, wayward ways are catching up with us. Great comfort, I think. And I say, about time too. Just look at us. Since independence, Nigerians have specialised in stealing public funds and stowing them where they think our filthy, censorious hands cannot reach: overseas. I have said it many times that if Nigerians did not have these foreign, developed countries to receive them and their loots, there would be less stealing of public funds. Well, what do you know? Some intrepid fellows in China have gone and shown us just how unwise we have been. Let’s look at the story.
The enemy, Coronavirus, stole in among us poor earthlings while we slept and guess where it hit first: them developed countries. So now, it has been raised to the level of a pandemic because the whole world is literally gasping for breath as it battles to save its life.
I have always said that many good virtues and other items have come from abroad; sadly, so have many vices that we know, such as corruption. Unfortunately, while we all seem to know what to do with the good things, we seem to be at a loss when the vices come. I mean, there are homes in Nigeria where you can seat your bum on Italian cushions, Arabian carpets, driving Japanese cars and motorcycles and electronics; with people walking along Korean walkways, eating American rice and British Jam. Naturally, everyone is holding Chinese phones. It’s the baddies that come now and then that throw us for a loop. We are literally at a loss; and show up our intelligence, or lack of it.
Nigeria is supposed to be involved in the fight against Coronavirus, though you would hardly know it from watching things on the ground. While President Trump of America is practically briefing the nation nearly every hour on his thoughts and moves on the matter of combatting the deadly thing, our own president refuses to speak. We don’t know why.
Secondly, while the whole world is literally hitting the panic button all over the place and just about running around and waving their arms all over their heads like panicked kittens, Nigerians appear to be sitting pretty at ceremonies, with nary a worry in sight. Even when the disease had been raised in status to a pandemic like a very important visitor, the country still refused to panic.
Even at this new status of the disease, the reaction of Nigeria is still slightly baffling. There are none of those steps that convey anything close to PANIC, PEOPLE, PANIC! that I want to see or hear. I want moves that sound like bells clanging, world collapsing, raving madness that characterise this world-size emergency.
Instead, what I am getting is this calm unpreparedness, unseriousness or unresourcefulness that is typical of us. Indeed, as the pandemic appears to be growing, so also is the size of our rump that the wind is exposing to the world. Only this morning did I hear that the federal government had shut all schools across the country. And I thought, only now? What about banning social gatherings – weddings, burial ceremonies, birthday parties in villages, towns and Dubai?
Seriously, I have fears for my country where this coronavirus is concerned. I fear that Nigeria is playing with fire. Listen, America, with all her attention to details in all aspects of life – health, work, finance, etc. – is barely able to cope. For instance, there are reports there that most of the hospitals in the US have run short of materials to fight this scourge and are now gearing up its factories to roll up their sleeves. Now here’s Nigeria where we MAKE NOTHING and we’re faced with this huge problem. Worse, we HAVE NOTHING; no medicines, no doctors, no laboratories for tests! We have allowed our doctors to go out and earn foreign exchange or to go atailoring, as our ministers said they should! So, ministers, what do you recommend we do?
I know. We could call on all our past leaders from the first republic to vomit up all the monies they have swallowed so that we can set up emergency factories to make the things that we will use in order that we might have a fighting chance on this coronavirus thing. Oh, I forgot; all our stolen funds are locked in foreign banks in Europe and America. Then, we should go get them finds. Oh, I forgot again. Many countries in Europe and the Americas are in lockdown! Many of them have shut their borders too. Ha!
We have said again and again that it is most illogical to take one’s country’s money and lock it up in one’s private account abroad. You not only lock out the real owners of the money, you lock them out of the benefits of the money such as working in factories. By the laws of nature, it was only a matter of time when the thief would be locked out of that money too. Ladies and gentlemen, that day has come. Welcome to the new world order where something as insignificant as a virus can throw up a country’s stupidities and foolishness.
This is why we have no public institutions to take care of the citizens. This is why we have no single reputable public hospital in this country that can rise to the occasion of this magnitude. This is why I really, really pity any big shot who makes the mistake of falling ill to coronavirus right now within the country. Why, there is no hospital in the land that can help him and all the countries housing his funds are in lockdown! Isn’t this nature’s ultimate joke? Now they would wish they had stashed their money in space. Yes, there’s a bank there, don’t you know?
We have no idea how long we still have to go on this thing but certainly, there are lessons already to be learnt. Leaders, DO YOUR WORK; TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE!!! By that, I mean your country, of course. This is what we have been telling our leaders all these decades. Now, Trump can call on his factories to speed up things on masks, medicines, solutions, etc. We can’t because we do not even have the factories.
On CNN, a woman gave an account of her lockdown experience in Italy. She said hospitals are out of space; morgues are out of space; crematoriums are kept open all day; people are dying in hundreds each day, and sometimes dying alone. It is obvious that this thing is going to get worse before it gets worse. We would be ready, of course, but for our wayward, wayward ways.
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