By Ogaziechi Nnedi
The whole world is literally on a lockdown. Businesses and offices are closed and men, the major drivers of most economies are forced to stay home for longer than they have ever done. There is reportedly a global report on increased domestic and sexual violence amongst others. Sometimes we tend to forget that men too are under tremendous pressures that often lead to those acts of violence on women and sometimes children.
In a developing economy like Nigeria, it is even worse given the lack of functional infrastructure that aid optimum productivity. Some men tend to equally suffer domestic violence even if not on the same huge scale as women. It is therefore fallacious to assume that only women are suffering domestic abuses and under tremendous pressure at this time.
A people and the system they choose to run can either make or mar the country. The Covid-19 pandemic has exposed the fact that in the process of nation building, every human must be socially, economically and culturally prepared to contribute optimally in good health to the progress of the nation. The lockdown has shown that men and women need the same psycho-social balancing to be more productively valuable for a better society.
The impact of a distorted social routine on men can be seen in the varied dysfunctional behavioral attitudes that equally impact on women and children. Sometimes these men need more support than the government and social institutions can provide. Their frustrations can be seen in the rise in physical, emotional and sexual violence.
Mr. Sam Amadi, a lawyer and University lecturer who also served as Chairman and Chief Executive of Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) in describing the present situation maintains that while the pandemic has been socially and economically disruptive globally, the developing nations like Nigeria might have to contend with much bigger post pandemic socio-economic problems that would no doubt be key to future growth prospects but the country must be deliberate and painstaking in addressing the underlying problems.
He pointed out that the lockdown even though necessary for containment of the spread of the virus must be fashioned to suit the socio-economic environment of a country like Nigeria.
The men who are traditionally seen as breadwinners and used to spending less time at home are now forced to spend more time at home and often possibly doing those things that were traditionally seen as feminine duties like having to mind children who ordinarily spend more time at school.
Spouses and children have come under closer observation of each other and as such conflicts are easily triggered thereby raising the stress levels. However, he maintains that while no government in the world could be said to be totally prepared for the shock that the pandemic brought, most already had the functional infrastructure to cope with the stress no matter how minimal.
The pandemic he pointed out, needs two basic items urgently, electricity and water. Most households in the country are without water and at a time that health professionals and the governments are advocating intermittent washing of hands, a family that pays so much for water and with an increased need for water usage will obviously be stressed out trying to keep up. There might be the uncomfortable choice of either spreading the virus or clashing over water usage at this time.
To Amadi, the value of electricity cannot be overemphasized in any modern economy. Presently, a large percentage of the people have no access to electricity so there is little or no distractions like the use of modern gadgets for entertainment. The men who would hitherto watch football games at stadiums or on TV are all holed in because there are no games in season either locally or globally. Sports and other entertainment events that used to provide social elixir that are not available now would have been replaced with home entertainment. There seems to be a convolution of an intricate web of social problems that seem to keep the men agitated to the level of frustration.
According to him, the government palliatives would help and is commendable but the basic backgrounds for an equitable distribution of either financial or material items seem to be absent. In other climes, there is a reliable data of citizens and their social circumstances that government at all levels rely on for such distributions. In Nigeria there is a distrust of governments and their agencies because the system seems not too opaque or so it seems and this gives rise to either ethnic or religious interpretations of distribution patterns.
He equally believes that government agencies like the National Orientation Agency (NOA) ought to have stepped up to sensitize the people on the various alternative activities that can be as uniting as they can be beneficial for family bonding. Mr. Amadi said he is using the period to teach his children his mother tongue, Igbo and it has been an exciting and extra bonding experience. He equally suggests mentoring and learning of other skills and languages which individual families can gain from internally.
A veteran broadcast journalist and a Communications consultant, Nkanu Egbe equally believes that men’s psycho-social needs must be considered at this time despite the fact that they seem to dominate governance and leadership. He maintains that the lockdown even when necessary must be seen as impacting negatively on men too.
He feels that this is a good time for younger ones to consider the reasons for marriage. They have to envisage a situation of togetherness and marry for love and try in the long run to marry someone they can communicate with. Domestic violence from either man or woman does not start because of a lockdown, it just exacerbates an existing tendency to be violent that is often traceable to upbringing and social association.
The present situation that denies men of some recreational activities like outdoor games, alcohol and fraternizing with friends and colleagues would naturally be stressful and some without the patience to manage such circumstances blow their lead.
However, he suggests both internal and external mechanisms to mitigate such behavior. He suggests that partners in domestic violence cases must try to be patient and more readily inclined to make changes for the better. The spouses in such relationships must be resourceful enough to come up with strategies to calm volatile situations by either creating the room for a deeper communication level or deliberately avoiding things that trigger off tension.
He said that other state governments must take a cue from Lagos state that has a Domestic Violence Agency that work in collaboration with many NGOs to counsel and support citizens that are either victims or perpetrators. He believes that the agencies must be well equipped to connect with citizens through toll free and function telephone lines. The citizens must suppress the sadistic urge to snap pictures of wounded or stripped spouses and publish instead of intervening to stop a fight.
A society becomes as functional as the citizens collectively decide to make it. The pandemic has wreaked havoc on humanity but like tomorrow, humanity is endless, humans must begin to take lessons from the present to organize a better future by deliberately caring for each other. A functional system is like the symbolic washing of hands, a collaborative effort between men and women, young and old, able and disabled and a democracy is planned to make all flourish for the benefit of everyone. We must continue to dialogue.
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