Oyinkan Medubi
Many weeks into the coronavirus pandemic and already, many of us are tired. In fact, I heard someone say, come on, corona, win already, and let the whole world go. Actually, I have since found that if the whole world were going to go, many of us would prefer that it should be done at once, not in batches. The reason is that there will be some who will take umbrage to the fact that US might be wiped off first while Nigeria might be allowed to live for one more hour. I imagine Mr. Donald Trump will not like that. He would be likely to go, ‘What did the US do to you, Lord? Is it because of the gay thing? Nigeria is worse; it can’t even get its acts together! Why then would you give them one more hour to live?!’
Seriously, since the pandemic began, I have listened to, and tried to imbibe, many directions. First, I was told to wash my hands as often as possible with soap and water. First, I didn’t think I could use spittle anyway, so I felt a little insulted that they would need to tell me to use water. You’ll be surprised what some people would use, I was told. Some consider sand handier, especially if they have lots more of it in their neighbourhood than water. Can you blame them?
Then they said not to touch my face with my hands anymore. Did you hear of the little child who started crying when told that, because he said his face liked to be touched all the time. And, have you tried to scratch your nose with your elbow? I tried it once and not even rolling on the floor helped me to contort my body to the required position. In the event, the balance of nature was only restored when my hand was able to connect to my nose by the long route of tying a ruler to my hand which I tied to the … You don’t want to know.
Did you know that knuckles exist for other things in your hand? Honestly, I always thought they existed only for making those cracking noises and knocking on the heads of stubborn little children. Since this pandemic, I have discovered the range of other things that knuckles can do: turn the lights on or off, test the temperature of the bathe water, wipe the tears off my face, scratch my brow, pick your teeth… Granted, I’m still working on that last one, just as I’m also working on eating my amala with them. One day, not far into the distance, I’ll get it right.
Yeah, they also said not to shake hands with others. Luckily, the few friends I have live very far away and so do not require hand shaking. All others around me can do with a nod. Then, I was told to sneeze or cough into my sleeves. A child asked, what if he wasn’t wearing sleeves? He was told to sneeze into the crook of his arm. No problem, said the armless man. It just remains for us to tell the cough that comes automatically when food goes down the wrong pipe to give you notice so that you can prepare your arm …
Let’s see the range of other things I have learnt so far from this pandemic. Well, there is the fact that two people can be struck by the same disease but one may live and the other may die. We know that Mr. Johnson, PM of Great Britain, survived the virus attack. We say congratulations to the PM.
However, a nurse in the ICU where the PM was on admission succumbed to the virus. Our commiserations go to the family as well as to the families of the many others who have likewise succumbed all over the world. These include the many doctors and health workers lost here, Italy, US, UK, etc. They have become martyrs.
I am still locked in my laboratory trying to determine exactly what is behind this selection process where one lives and another bows the head to immortality. They talk of underlying diseases; or even resistance, but me, I have not been able to get past the God-factor. I am not giving up, though; science never gives up, whether it be on why the earth is still suspended in space in spite of man’s horrendous activities or why the sun has not burned us all up in spite of its own activities.
Then, there is the one fact that made me very, very glad indeed, and that is that, when he was struck by the disease, Mr. Johnson was treated successfully in a public hospital not too far from where he lives, in his country. I thought that note-worthy, especially for our leaders who have nothing but utter disdain for their own country.
This disdain is causing the gap between our public institutions and the private ones to get wider and wider by the day BECAUSE OF GOVERNMENT NEGLECT. When you walk into a public primary school, a public hospital, or look at public institutions like electricity or water, you would be ashamed to open your eyes because everything has been allowed to go to ruin. Yet, these schools or hospitals or public works serve more of the public than the private ones do.
All these tell you a lot, don’t they: that the government has made a sham of its own life and is now ruining what is left of the people’s. Mr. Johnson was treated in a hospital in his own city but our president cannot be treated in a hospital in his own country! Indeed, when it was reported that the Secretary to the Federation said that he did not know that the national hospitals were so badly off, he forgot to say the government made it so. That is understandable. As a government functionary, he is entitled to have his headaches treated abroad. When shall we be wise?
The plans of mice and men are filed away somewhere. Our public functionaries have sorely neglected our public institutions because they always believe they have a better alternative. It is time that they turned their attention inwards because those better alternatives might not always be accessible. Presently, many of them can no longer go abroad to get their blood pressure checked because of the corona thing. That should tell them something. The saying that, in an emergency, your neighbour may be closer to you than your brother, means that if you’re wise, you would treat your neighbour neighbourly. If you’re wise, you would take care of your environment.
Even now, ASUU is fighting for good sense to be applied in the funding of Nigerian universities, and what does the government do? It cut off their salary, going to three months now. And all because ASUU wants the right thing to be done concerning public institutions. The irony is that the same government recognises that the people require palliatives because of the lockdown. Yet, it is denying a segment of that public their salary! What logic is this – Martian? When will we be wise and stop being so mean and wicked to each other?!
It is time to open our eyes and learn, the government above all. Holding on to disdain for the public is most unbecoming of leadership. Unfortunately, that has been the rule of thumb for our functionaries since independence. It is time we learnt that when we respect the public, ultimately, we are respecting ourselves, leaders and followers alike. That would be something good to take out of this bad situation.
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