Chief Funke Arthur–Worrey, widow of deceased legal luminary, Steady Worrey, will clock 95 in a few days. The mother of former Lagos State Commissioner for Lands, Fola Arthur-Worrey, probably one of the most travelled Nigerian women, speaks with GBENGA ADERANTI about the secrets of her good health as a nonanegarian, her family life and why divorce cases are on the rise among the younger generation.
With your healthy physical condition, very few people would believe that you will be clocking 95 in a few days from now. What is the secret?
Life has been wonderful to me because my God, my Maker, has been wonderful to me from day one and later in life. I have never been alone in my life. And health wise, apart from malaria, I have been very lucky. I eat well. I sleep well. I go for a walk when I want to. I even go to the market to talk to the women and children of Ebutte- Ero, Sura and all that. I knew their parents, grandparents and now their children. I call them my babies.
I like to watch our women, Nigerian women are wonderful women, and they work so hard. You see some of them with their babies on their backs and very early in the morning they go out to buy goods to sell, and they do it happily.
In the morning, especially on our road here, by 7 o’clock, the women are here with prepared food for the workers and you see the workers milling around them. Nigerian women are wonderful. That’s why I keep on saying that one day, they should honour the women of Nigeria by giving them vice president of Nigeria.
You talked about having people around you. Your husband passed on some years ago. How does it feel without your husband?
I’m missing him every day. Sometimes I think he is around because we were so close. He was so good to me. He was a God sent. Like a miracle, he came from nowhere from England. I didn’t have a clue about him. He was a stranger to me. But at that particular time that he came into my life, he made my life wonderful because he was there for me. He did everything for me. He made my life comfortable. He taught me so much. He taught me how to swim. He also taught me about sports. I didn’t have a clue about sports; it was when I met him that I had to watch football and cricket. He was friends with everybody, though he was not a Yoruba man. He went to England at about the age of eight. He was so good. Unfortunately, he died 12 years ago. When he died, if anybody said I was going to live and be here today, I would say no. God has been good to me.
You said you always feel his presence. How?
What I mean is the feeling is still there. His presence is still here. If you look at all the artifacts all over, he was a collector. He would always find something that he would bring back. If you ask him, after many years we came back from the Scandinavian, Egypt, he was ready to tell you about Edo artifacts. For example Okpopolo 11, the Oba of Benin, gave him something he loved so much: elephant tooth. He cherished it a lot. He was ready to tell you exactly where he got it from. He was a wonderful man.
You see, some people would die and the widow would have problem either with the children or the family. I had nothing of such. Everything is peaceful in my life. That is what I believe. I’m not a spiritualist. I believe in one God, Jehovah. So I just feel he is around like my parents. My mummy and my daddy, I still feel their presence even though they have left me for many years, they are still there guiding me. I just feel it that Steady is there.
You said you go to Idumota, and so on…
Even now, all my life, I have travelled. I have travelled round Nigeria. The only state I didn’t visit with my husband then was Sokoto State. We went round. When Ojukwu was in Kano, he was our guest. Ademulegun was in Kaduna. These people would take us round and look after us. My husband was always going to museum and I was always going to the market, to see women and appreciate them. We have been round Nigeria. The same thing in Europe.
Now when I sit back and trace my life from a Lagos girl here and going around the world, Europe, China and Israel, because we were friendly with the ambassador of Israel then. The children were the same. They used to take the children to the beach at Badagry, Ibeshe, and when they returned, we would take them back.
And then something happened and I thought that was the end of our marriage. Then I was in England for further studies, and I Ieft the children with my husband. I left Abiola. That is why this my birthday, I keep on thinking of Abiola. She was so brilliant and affectionate. She would remember my birthday. I dared not complain. She would say, Mummy, then she would go and make tea. But she drowned suddenly. I was in England, they went as usual for a weekend at Ibeshe (beach). The other parents were relaxing, and, according to what they told me, the tide just came and swept the four children away. It was only Abiola they couldn’t find.
I was away and my husband was in the Ministry of Justice. He was the Legal Adviser, Defence. That gave us the opportunity to travel round the world and see some wonderful people. That was how Abiola died. They tried. The Navy, even the Lagos State Government then under Mobolaji Johnson, and my church, they were there for me. but Abiola has gone to rest. She died in 1967, but suddenly, she came into my head. This 95 is part of celebrating Abiola’s memory. Life is wonderful to me. I feel good, I feel happy.
With the spate of insecurity in Nigeria, how do you feel when you go out for a walk?
I don’t feel good, because in those days, I’m now talking of Lagos, my Lagos, it was so free to live around Ita Garawu, Oke Suna to Tokunbo and Campus. There were not lots of cars then. We had families everywhere. All the men were our uncles, all the women were aunties, and you dare not misbehave, because if you misbehaved and one of them caught you and spanked you, you dared not go home and say, because if you go home and report, you will get double of that. You respect your elders. When elders are talking, you dare not interfere.
And then my father’s house at Olowogbowo, a lot of people came in at any time and went out at any time. We would go to Osogbo to see Susan Wenger art. We drove to Kaduna, from Kaduna to Bauchi to Tafawa Balewa tomb. We never had any fear. Anywhere you went, you would meet a friend. Whether Kanuri, Hausa or Fulani, immediately you got together you became a family. But I’m afraid now.
I love to listen to news, local, national or international. I’m not a politician, but I’m interested. But suddenly, you don’t trust me, I don’t trust you. Some days back, someone came here and she was talking about kidnapping and I said to her don’t say that. This is Lagos; you are safe here by the grace of God. But now people are so afraid about their lives. I think government should do something about this security thing.
The one that really devastated was that of the railway. And when you listen to the news, the kidnappers are demanding something. The atmosphere is not good. I’m not happy.
I saw the way you pulled that sliding window and I was amazed. Where do you get the energy to do that at your age?
(Prolonged laughter) I don’t know. All my life, I must confess, I have been like that. I like to move. Even now, I do my laundry. The children will see me and say, ‘Ah, Grandma!’ When they are cleaning, I want to do something. I’m like that. Maybe that was why I could pull the window. I don’t just sit down. God has been good to me. “I sleep well, I eat well. But the thing now is that I drink a lot of water. I was so concerned that I asked one of my doctors, my baby, one of those who have been looking after me, and I said you know what, I drink a lot of water, I don’t know. I said is it alright, because in a day I drink six of the plastic bottle water. She said I could even drink 10.
I drink a lot of water and I feel good and I still have lots of energy. But sometimes if you over do it, something pulls you back and say no, no you are old. I thank God. People see me and they say ah! Maybe they were waiting for a grumpy old woman.
You said a Nigerian woman should become the vice president…
Left to me, I would prefer a woman to be the Nigerian president. Look at Angela Merkrel in Germany, they didn’t want her to leave. She managed their economy well, everybody was happy. Look at the late Bandaranaike in Sri Lanka before; if not that she died, she was doing well. Look at Indra Ghandi of India, she was doing fine, everything was alright. I don’t know why a country like this, giant of Africa with all the wealth we have, they don’t make us comfortable. Give a woman a chance; you will have water, light and employment.
How do you spend your leisure time?
I read a lot. I read anything. I read magazines, novels, I read anything that catches my fancy. I walk around in the garden because I’ve got my flowers. I must look after them. Honestly, it is not me, it is God. I surprise myself. I walk around, I do laundry. I do ironing. I do sweeping. I can dance. You need to see me, immediately I hear music, I keep moving. That is me. And I eat a lot. I like Nigerian dishes like amala and efo. God has blessed Nigeria; we have human and natural resources in abundance. We shouldn’t suffer in Nigeria at all. I’m not saying all of us should be millionaires. Nigeria should be better than this.
Before this interview, you were talking about politics and Yoruba people. What exactly is wrong with the race?
If you look at our people, there is something wrong with us. Look at the history of Oyo, Ife and Modakeke and recently, Awolowo and Akintola. We always had issues with trusting ourselves. It has been like that with the Yoruba if you look at our history. That is why if three of us are making plans, you say okay, we are going to Ibadan tomorrow, something will happen and one of us will say don’t go. There is high mistrust among the Yoruba people. It is a pity we don’t trust one another. Look at what is happening now. In those days, the Yoruba would sit down and decide, this is what we are going to do.
Unlike before, the rate of divorce appears to be high. What could have been the root cause of this and what is the way out?
First of all, it is the God almighty that makes a couple, that makes a home and then luck. In those days, our women had respect for their husbands. Remember in those days a Yoruba man would have three or four wives. Although there could be jealousy here and there among the wives, they would comply with whatever their husband said. Again, the children, like when I was growing up, we never knew the difference between A or B among the mothers. We all grew up together and there was love. But now, things have changed. In those days, when you are married, you were married into the family. It was your duty to look after your in-laws. But now, things have changed .
Apart from that, the atmosphere is not friendly. You all struggle to provide for the family. Now, most women are not patient. Unlike before, we women are advanced now. Women talk back, unlike before, and the couple would start arguing over nothing.
Another thing is mother-in-law and wife’s rivalry. I don’t know if it is a myth. Whether you like it or not, the mother-in-law raised this man. We have a lot of problems. But then there are some exceptions. In my charity group and church, there are many young people that have been married for long and are happy. I wouldn’t say everything is bad. It could be better.
If your husband, Steady, were to be alive, how would he have celebrated your 95th birthday?
(Prolonged laughter) He was a perfectionist. If I say let’s have 10 people, he would say let’s have five more because you know they would bring their drivers, etc. He was a simple man, gentle. He would have been over the moon for me. I’m missing him.
What are those things you are not likely to forget about him?
His affection. He was a story teller. I can’t forget his jokes. He was a man that would make you laugh. He would make me happy, let’s say I’m so sad, something happened. He was a man who believed that what would be would be. Let’s say something happened, he would say, ‘Funke, forget about it; what would be would be.’