Might Nick Parish, British MP, be dreaming a pornographic parish in the House of Commons, as he savoured x-rated stuff with the Commons in session?
Perish that satanic pun! But a snappy bit of e-voyeurism just cost poor Mr. Parish dear! Outrage from fellow Tories, at his pleasurable indiscretion, has forced him to give up his seat, after 12 years. He first won his seat in 2010.
Mr. Parish, who won his Devon constituency seat with a thumping 24, 239-vote drubbing of his Labour Party opponent in the 2019 general election, pleaded he wasn’t quite the devil folks were screaming should be nailed to the cross.
He explained his first porn sortie was completely accidental. He stumbled on those porn sites en route to looking for tractors on a website. It offered some brief but sweet detour. It must have been porn — sorry fun — while it lasted!
But the fatal encore was another experience entirely, what Mr. Parish himself would dub “a moment of madness.” It probably wouldn’t have made any news — a 65-year-old viewing porn on his private cell phone — if a female co-Commons had not stumbled on the man and raised alarm.
Things were not helped by Mr. Parish’s initial bluff to hang on to his seat as Parliament investigated his shocking conduct, which the women’s rights lobby had latched onto as umpteenth proof of male chauvinism, which degraded the hallowed chamber to some hollow gender pigsty. It was then the dam broke.
“In the end,” Mr. Parish confessed, “I could see that the furore erupted and the damage I was causing my family and my constituency association. It just wasn’t worth carrying on,” he told the BBC.
He pummelled himself for the sweet but crippling encore: “But my crime, the biggest crime is that on another occasion I went in a second time and that was deliberate. I was sitting waiting to vote on the side of the chamber.” Be wary of catching discreet fun on the sidelines!
The moral? A sane society is built on a strong moral fibre. If it were here, hustler lawyers and media spinners would deadpan that MP Parish had committed no listed crime. Yet, in their heart of hearts, they would flinch at his indecent conduct.
In Mr. Parish’s noble step-down, you could see why British democracy still thrives, with the first English Parliament convened in 1215, when the Magna Carta was created and signed.