From the turbulence of early marriage childlessness to COVID-19, infection and loss of job to the man in the house, the Ajayi family has definitely had its share of marital challenges. The couple, however, came out stronger to even birth a Christian ministry. They share their story with Sam Unamka.
WHEN the COVID-19 pandemic hit the global economy in 2020, a greater section of the world, found itself working from home, avoiding social gatherings and spending a lot more quality time with their significant other. In some cases, this ended up enhancing and rescuing some relationships on the brink of collapse.
One such couple would be Emmanuel Olusoji Ajayi and Adedoyin Semilola Ajayi. Speaking to The Nation, both couple spoke of how the stay at home gave them the opportunity to strengthen the bond in their relationship and further value each other more spiritually, resulting in the Beulah Global Ministry, Weekly Virtual War Room and Prayer Zone.
Going down memory lane, Adedoyin said they first met in New Jersey, USA, through her sister’s husband.
“In May, I wanted to go to Los Angeles but my younger sister’s husband said he would want me to meet someone in New Jersey. At that time, I never even liked the idea of meeting people without a purpose. I also remember I had just come out of a bad breakup and so I was not interested in seeing anyone; I just wanted to go on vacation. I was 28 and I had an idea of my type of man. When I saw him at first, he looked nice but his height was not what appealed to me. We spoke and that was it.
“I went back to Nigeria and we kept conversing. Along the line, I noticed I was falling for his charm, his voice and most impor tantly, his love of God. But he was not a tall person and that posed a problem to me bcause I loved wearing heels. When he called at a certain point to invite me to the U.S the second time, I had no iota of feeling that he was going to propose because I believed in dating for a few years. However, when I got to New Jersey in July 2006, he had apparently planned with my sister’s husband and everybody else and he just went on his knees and proposed. By December 2006, that same year, we got married. It was a miracle for me”.
Adedoyin recalled that she developed cold feet. “I just did not know what to expect because there were people who felt I was moving in the wrong family. Even though a background check had been done on his family, I had to pray seriously when I was about to get married and after getting married. This was new to me as I had to relocate to stay with my husband”.
For Emmanuel, however, God had a hand in their first meeting down to the marriage.
“I think it is when you allow God to do things for you. It is almost like you are not in control of everything, God just does it. I don’t think I planned it to be as fast as everything was. I think around that time, she was always using the phrase “when God moves”. I remember her saying that after I proposed; and truly when God has a hand in anything – be it business or marriage, it is almost like you stand and watch what happens.
“One thing that we tried to do then was never telling everyone our plans. When God is doing something in your life, don’t go around telling people. What we were doing was fasting and praying for God’s will to take place.”
Sixteen years after
According to the couple, God has kept the marriage going despite turbulent moments.
“For the first three years of our marriage, I could not conceive and that was a great con cern to me. I remember I would go on the internet and see other people celebrating their children’s birthday and I would sob. But I never stopped trusting God, no thanks to my husband who supported me and took care of me. He was always there encouraging me. My husband’s family also did a lot in those three years and the beautiful thing was that his family were grounded in Christ. By the fourth year, I got pregnant and I was overjoyed. Now we have four kids. So, when a marriage starts with God, both partners have to return to God when issues arise,” Adedoyin said.
Her hubby corroborated her when he said: “We always say a word of prayer before we embark on something. I will admit that she is more passionate than me now in that regard.”
COVID-19 challenge
Emmanuel continued: “It was not all rosy for us as a family, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. Companies were laying people off and I happened to be one of them. There was no money coming in at some point and we had to fight profusely with faith to make things work. But the biggest one that could make a believer panic was when I was infected with COVID-19. It was really a difficult period for me and the family. It was funny, however that my wife was not infected even though we were sleeping on the same bed. But a miracle happened. After much prayer and fasting, I got healed.”
His wife picked it up from there. “When the ambulance came to pick my husband, he had difficulty breathing. I had to go on my knees and pray and to the glory of God, my husband returned home healed without taking the vaccine. This was truly when we knew God had a plan for us despite the challenges. I would say that the year 2020 endeared us more to God, made us understand and improve our marriage as well as start up the Ministry”, Adedoyin added.
“I would say that I thank God for the kind of man I married. Yes, we have differences but we can resolve them quickly. That is what makes marriage mature. It can be heated at times and the fact that he is not a control freak and I do not make it more like oil and pepper. When we are upset, we do not pretend about it. Sometimes I want to spend money, but I go to God in prayer and beg him to touch my husband so that he will give me money and it works because God has heard and has touched his heart. There are times he too needs something, he says a quick prayer… I usually end up saying I did not initially want to heed to some of his sex requests but something would touch me and he would end up laughing saying he spoke to God before coming to me. We have never hit each other, there has not been any form of scandal, and we have to make sure things work. People say they want a marriage like ours and I used to tell them, it takes two people to make the marriage work,” Adedoyin stated.
She opined that marriages break these days because of a lack of tolerance. “People don’t want to tolerate any more. Also, there is a high level of immorality, people (Men and women) want fast money, and fast cars. They cannot hang in there when there is a challenge. For example, there are a lot of wives who won’t do anything for the man if he does not have money,” she stated.
When asked if he ever thought of quitting, Emmanuel said: “Marriage is a ministry and I think that if you are going to fulfill God’s purpose for your life, marriage is part of that. So for me to say that I want to quit marriage is like saying I want to quit living.”