‘Our closest moments are in the bedroom’
Lanre Samson found love as a secondary school student. She fell in love with a young handsome man other young ladies used to flock around and had to repeatedly caution him about his relationships with them. But while the young man assured her of the special place she occupied in her mind, they lost touch for many years until fate reunited them after they had both embraced God and committed their lives to the Christian faith. But they had to get married “in faith” because they had no money. In this interview with Paul Ukpabio, Apostle Lanre recalls how her young husband, now the popular Bishop Tom Samson of the Christ Royal Family International Church, went out trekking and combing the nooks and crannies of Akowonjo, Egbeda and other suburbs of Lagos for evangelism. Today, the couple runs a church that has presence in major Nigerian cities and in the United Kingdom and America. The church boasts eight primary schools, eight secondary schools, hospitals, a college of education and a vast land proposed for a university. Lanre shares the secrets behind her 23-year-old marriage and the kind of lifestyle she has kept over the years to manage the growth and expansion of church and business.
What kind of lifestyle must a woman like you who is an apostle and married to a bishop live?
The lifestyle that I live with the man of God has been that of faith. It has been a life of faith. Everything we have today has been acquired by faith. That is because if one does not have faith in God, one cannot fit into marriage, much less grow in it. Also, it is faith that helped us to grow and be able to acquire all the things around us now. From ministry work, we gradually moved into development projects to help build the church of God.
The marriage has been that of work, work and work. Many a times, the provisions for all these developmental projects are not there. But because we have the faith that God will provide, we go ahead. Many times, we have found out that as we move forward with the projects, God meets our needs.
What would you say is the focus of your ministry?
Our ministry is about touching lives. It is multidimensional. We have a church and we reach out to humanity through building and administration of schools, hospitals and construction of community projects to ease people’s living conditions. We reach out to souls through our branches in different places around Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, London and America.
How long has the marriage lasted?
This is our 23 years together.
How did both of you strike a relationship?
It was not exactly love at first sight. We got to know and loved each other since the time we met as friends in secondary school. We were young, we met and became close. After some time, we separated. He was on his own and I was on my own too.
Five years later, he searched and found out where I was. He came looking for me in Lagos where I had relocated. I can recall now that he was in Bendel State University while I was working as an administrative manager in a firm in Lagos. That was where he found me.
He said you are his business partner, would you say your background in administration has helped?
Yes, I have been his business partner and partner in the ministry of God. However, I use God’s grace when it comes to administering church projects. That is because there are errors that are made here and there during the administration or construction of church projects, but somehow, I usually have the ability to discover faults, flaws and lapses. So I use God’s wisdom to manage church work and projects.
At what point did the need to go beyond winning souls to build schools and hospitals arise?
I believe it came naturally when the need arose. For instance, five years ago, some women in Ota (Ogun State) came to meet the Bishop. They had no jobs or money. They requested that we should assist by looking into how we could help them; that is the women in the community. We rubbed minds together about putting something on ground for them. That was how one of our empowerment programmes began: a programme where women are taught to make soaps, disinfectants, confectionaries, beads and so on.
We had an opportunity of empowering about 1,000 women in different parts of Lagos state. In Otta alone, we empowered about 500 women, a lot of them widows. We also awarded them certificates.
We did it and it became successful. Those women are now producing those products. It is amazing how it worked out. Now those women can afford conveniently send their children to school and also help their husbands by contributing at home to meet up with financial needs.
Don’t forget that these are women who could not contribute financially at home before. Things are changing and a lot of the women are happier. Today, some of them bring soap and Izal for me to use. I am even now a beneficiary of their hard work and confidence to give back to the society.
Is empowering women one of the roles that wives of ministers of God must play?
I believe women empowerment should be one of the concerns of pastors’ wives. It should be a situation where people around them should be affected positively. A pastor’s wife should be one who shows love; one who shows concern about people around her. They should always check out to see the looks on the faces of the people around them and put smiles on those faces. That is because the church of God will grow even more if pastors’ wives do so.
That has also been one of the secrets for the growth of our church. For instance, in the next few days, we will be going to Ikorodu for the grand finale of another empowerment programme, where we will be awarding some other women certificates and also give them some money to enable them take off with projects that they have already been taught. From there, we are more or less also adding new members and more value to our Ikorodu church. Many of the 59 women who attended the course will likely join the church as new members. It may not be all of them, but more will join through them and through the programme too.
How do you cope with running a church with branches, hospitals, and schools from the kindergarten to college of education and university?
The truth is that I do not know (laughs). I guess I cope by God’s strength. Last week, for example, we were on schools’ parties. You can imagine doing it in one school after another. This week, we have end-of-year party for three schools and we have to do it all, one after the other. It is only the Grace of God that can do it.
Do you have family time?
Yes, I do. I have time with my husband. I also have time for my children. When I go out in the morning, I always ensure that I hurry back home from 4 pm. I devote that evening period to the home. On Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I face church matters squarely because I preach and also do counselling.
Did your background prepare you for all this?
I think it did in a way. I come from a Catholic background. My parents were both Catholics. However, later in life, precisely seven years after they got married, they changed to Pentecostal church, and that was the Christ Apostolic Church. It was there that I learnt to pray well.
Before I got married, I was attending the Agbala Itura Church. It was there that my spiritual life was also built. I started fasting sometimes for three day or five days of dry fasting. There I received spiritual empowerment to stand on my own.
What does it take to be the wife of a bishop?
It takes faithfulness to God. If you say you want to work for God, you have to be faithful and God will be faithful to you. But if as a woman of God you mingle things together, things then will not go well for such a woman in the home and in ministry life.
If you are faithful to God, He will lift your home up and He will lift up your husband’s ministry and yours too. The bible says that ‘though your beginning may be small, but your latter days will be full of increase.’ So it’s about faithfulness. He will lift you up beyond human comprehension if you are faithful to Him.
What is the greatest challenge that pastors’ wives face?
I wouldn’t know because I do not have any challenge. The Lord God is my strength at all times. When I pray, He answers my prayers. So, I am not pressured or challenged in any way. Over my children, He settles me. Over my husband, he settles me. Whenever I notice my children doing what I do not like, I take it up in prayer to God. I go on my knees to face any challenge, and before I know it, the mountains turn. Things turn around to favour me.
What fond memories of childhood do you have?
I grew up in Ile Ife. It was peaceful and we had happy times in the family. My parents were religious too.
Any life regrets?
No regrets at all?
You are now used to laying out projects and accomplishing them. What does success mean to you?
Success means being in Christ, having God’s presence in daily life.
What’s your fashion sense like?
I wear anything that looks good on my body. I wear suits a lot. I don’t wear anything that shows some parts of my body. I wear clothes that do not expose my body. That is very important. As women, we should be modest and be virtuous in nature and character.
You are hardly seen at society events. Any special reason for this?
(Laughs) I attend events. But it actually depends on the events. If it is church event, you will see me there. But if it is owambe, you are not likely to see much of me there because my work is much. So even if the owambe party requires that I must be there, in that case, Daddy (Bishop Tom Samson) can always be there, because most often, I am always busy with one school matter or another, or with church work.
But as a public person, social life is also necessary…
Yes, I agree with you. But the work here is also enormous and I cannot split myself. That is why Daddy is there too.
We know you like accessories because you are usually adorned with them. What kind of accessories would you not do without?
I wear anything. But whatever I wear must look nice and not be a fake. However, I do not wear expensive jewellery. I do not go beyond my borderline. I do not also copy others in whatever I wear. If you are wearing expensive jewellery, that is your own business. I wear what is good on me and moderate.
What do you look forward to having in life?
I desire more anointing, more favour and more grace to work fervently for God. I want to do more of God’s work. I want to impact more lives, to help the younger ones grow.
Most of the time, you are with people. When are you most close to the family or your husband?
We are most close in the bedroom. That is in the evening when he comes back and also in the mornings when we wake. At least we sleep together. When we are together in the bedroom, that is when we gist. He tells me about the places that he went to, the people that appreciated him and so on. That is the time that we are most close.
Don’t you get worried that women in and around the church may get unduly interested in the Bishop. More so as he is also a good looking man?
(Laughs and raises her voice) When I was in school with him, I used to see many girls with him. That was when we were in the world; when he had not given his life to Christ. I had not given my life to Christ then too. At that time, we used to go for summer coaching, and I would see him with chains of girlfriends. I remember usually standing by the window and watching him. When he looks in my direction, I would put out a finger and warn him to be careful of those ladies. After that, he would come around to me and tell me that I am the special one.
So how do you handle that now?
I don’t count such things at all. I am a woman who does not bother about such things. If you bother about such things, it can only lead to hypertension. Why should one bother about things that will disturb your soul? What I do is, I believe in the Lord and commit my home into His loving care and He takes care of us. I do not worry whether one woman is after my husband or not.
Tell us about your most fulfilled moment doing missionary work?
That was when I ministered at our church and there was so much unbelievable anointing. There was also another time I went to London and I ministered and there was great deliverance. Even four weeks ago, I had such in London. I thank God for such moments because there was much testimony.
You travel often. What have been your peculiar experiences during your travels?
In London and the USA, people generally live quiet lives. They are into work, work and work. Not many people go to church over there. They are mostly glued to their work. However, down here, poverty is much, so more people come to church to pray and for deliverance.
What is your advice to Nigerians in that regard?
My advice will be that we pray more. That is because the average Nigerian knows that there are many battles in the home front and they need deliverance from family backgrounds. We need to pray. Anyone who cannot pray cannot get deliverance. There is the need for prayers to overcome spiritual hindrances. That is when God will be in total control of someone’s life.
We need to be delivered from the clutches of ancestral curses and the like. We need to hold on to God.