That law is an ass is not only trite; it is also a jejune statement tending on the banal. Going by recent developments, we actually should be asking: whose law is it? Even more apt is to insist that the law is everybody’s ass; so to speak.
Now how could that be? How could Hardball begin to make derogatory imputation about one of the oldest and noblest professions mankind knew? How can it be that a calling where practitioners are addressed as learned colleagues would be so slurred as an all-comers mule?
This is the crux of the matter today. How is it that a profession distinguished by its sepulchral shibboleths and arcane turn of phrase can easily become the handmaiden of the untutored rabble?
But consider these wuthering examples: a curmudgeon of a 66-year-old security guard wangled his way into learned-hood and practiced as an attorney for all of 22 years. And the cheek of it: He did not stick with the magistrate court; he appeared before judges and even justices of the Supreme Court. The learned Mai-guard however reached the end of his tethers two years ago when he donned full ceremonial regalia – flowing robe and wig and joined the high and mighty of the profession during the Lagos State Judiciary 2016/2017 annual legal year. What affront!
Another confidence trickster, 49-year-old Chris reportedly practiced law in Lagos for 15 years until nemesis caught up with him last February. In Owerri, Imo State a lady fake Beatrice had practiced for five years before she was apprehended. She was not satisfied dressing in borrowed robes, she had to dupe her client of a large sum where upon she was thrown up for what she was – a con.
Yet another fake from Ilorin, Kwara State had been a make-believe lawyer for 10 years before luck ran out on him. ’Barrister’ Peter is peculiar because he forged a lawyer’s certificate and practiced under the assumed name.
Of course there is forgery everywhere and quacks abound in perhaps all professions but it’s more rampant in Law and Medicine practice in Nigeria today. These are among the most regulated and controlled fields of professional practice. The educational route to attaining any of the twain is very rigorous while regulators ensure that interlopers don’t thrive.
It is therefore a wonder how unschooled and ill-trained folks infiltrate law and medicine and thrive over a sustained period of time. Many of the folk exampled above are described as ‘successful’ lawyers.
Regulatory bodies must institute screening and rescreening procedures lest the likes of Hardball join the fray and gun for SAN-hood! If a mai-guard can do it, Hardball will probably do it better!