FOR about four years, Gloria and Gbolahan traversed the emotional landscapes like Siamese twins and it looked like they were going to be indivisible for life. Just when Tolulope thought that they were heading for the aisle. Just when this babe thought that the heart she cherished so much was in her emotional custody, he shifted his affectionate side to another comfort zone.
For a while, she just could not place her finger on what went wrong. Did she offend him? “No, you didn’t do anything like that,” he later confessed. “I think I was the one that changed. I got carried away with the things that destabilise hearts, it happened because our love was not properly rooted in my heart. I found a replacement for your heart and before I knew it she swept me off my feet.”
Another couple has been affected in the same way. This time around it was the lady who chickened out of the love race. “We met in the office and somehow I was not so keen about it because of the environment. He turned out to be a very nice personality and I was forced to reciprocate his emotional gesture. Five months down the line, I realised that it wasn’t what I wanted and I told him I just could not continue. “Love should not be about sympathy and I knew that even if I continued it was going to crumble soon.”
Unfortunately, for these two lovebirds, their love ship anchored before taking off. What they were feeling wasn’t mutual and it would definitely be tough building emotional bridges where there wasn’t an affectionate link.
In this scenario, Mr. Right thought it was still possible to mend this broken emotional fence. But the more he tried to put the broken pieces together, the more difficult it was for him to make the walls of affection stand.
The truth, however, is that there are different phases in a relationship. It can only get better if you understand these stages and how to react to the issues positively. You need to get the most from these moments in your life, and make sure you take away the lessons you were meant to learn to get to the next phase of the relationship.
Sizzling romance? Yes, that was exactly what they were experiencing before someone pulled her off the emotional red carpet. From her emotional height, she fell flat on the ground and before she could lift up her head, they were already trampling on the affectionate side which she cherished so much.
Could this be in line with the phrase, ‘whatever goes up must come down’? Yes, this phrase is true to an extent when it comes to relationships. As much as we would have loved to enjoy the romantic bliss, sometimes it may just not last forever. If you have been in a relationship that is crumbling like a pack of cards, then you can imagine the confusion and frustration that you had to pass through at that point.
Even when you try to put it behind you, it can be tough trying to figure out how it really fell apart and why your emotional super star decided to chicken out.
Oh dear! What an emotional mess this has turned out to be. When the going was good, she actually thought she was sweeter and more affectionate than any other contestant on the emotional runway. After giving so much, her expectations were that he would reciprocate with emotional gestures that would be treasure for posterity.
Sadly, that was not to be. Flashback to the things she did and didn’t do just to please this emotional gold fish and it looked like she had been investing in the wrong place. The more she dwelt on all the occurrences, the more it hurts because she came to the realisation that it had been a one way emotional traffic all this while.
As a matter of fact, she saw the writing on the wall but just refused to let go. In the process, he became colder and more distant. On her part, she tried to “rationalise” the situation or how it could be redeemed but all her efforts proved abortive. At a point, she spent hours trying to talk to him and see if they could still work things out but this also pushed him further away.
However, you do not need to get to an emotional crossroads before you address the differences. Once you notice that there is something that your partner does not like, then it is better to adjust and readjust to make things work.
You also need to fire up the romance in your relationship and make every moment shared together worthwhile. The relationship gets smoother when you are a good listener. It is therefore better to listen when he or she shares some inner desires, likes, and fears.