•Neither wife-battery nor the rising husband-mauling is good for the family unit
The Lagos State Ministry of Justice just came out with a very shocking piece of news: the rising trend of husband-mauling, among Lagos residents, in contradistinction to the traditional trend of wife-battery.
It appears an age of equal-opportunity violence is dawning on the Lagos family. That cannot be good for the future — or even for the present.
Briefing the media on his ministry’s performance card in the past one year, Adeniji Kazeem, Attorney-General and Lagos State Commissioner for Justice, disclosed a worrying rise in cases of husband-beating. He said no less than 138 of such cases were reported to the arm under his ministry, which deals with domestic violence.
The “ministry has noted an increase in report of domestic violence against men,” he disclosed. “To date, the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) has received a total number of 138 cases in this regard. Overall, a total number of 1, 771 cases were reported during the period under review.”
If there was a real life equivalent, of the news classic of dog-biting-man not news but man-biting-dog big news, this was it!
Before this disclosure, it was assumed domestic violence was a one-way traffic, that came with the brutal territory of the macho male. That this trend suggests a reversed domestic violence traffic again shows the dire danger of general but unscientific assumptions, in matters that could well tilt the social equilibrium, with devastating consequences for the family unit. Before this shock find, the Lagos DSVRT was probably working with the mindset that only the females needed its intervention! that’s what havoc unscientific assumptions do to public policy.
Still, a rising wave of husband-mauling is no moral equivalent to justify wife-battery. Neither should it be cold comfort that 138 cases, out of a reported 1, 771, are not exactly an epidemic in husband-pounding. For all you know, the number could be more, and the 138 was nothing but under-reportage. It’s a thing of cultural high shame, after all, for a man to moan and bleat and groan that he had been mauled by his wife! If some women, eternal victims of domestic violence often shun reporting such, you can imagine how tough it would be for a man to do so.
But all forms of spousal violence, no matter where they originate, are bad and must be condemned. As the very basis to tackle the problem, there should be a blitz of public enlightenment, that couples should think through their problems, instead of seeking the help of their fists like savages.
But beyond this general enlightenment, the changing economic times, with many more women assuming the role of breadwinners — a traditional male monopoly — could explain the flare in violence, on both sides. While a man with a hurt ego that quickly resorts to his fists is a danger to the family, a gloating, insensate and nagging woman, ever eager to prattle about and mock her husband as an economic never-do-well, is a clear and present danger to the home.
While governments at all levels should push policies that enlarge economic opportunities, there should be access to counselling for homes that need to tidy over rough patches. Therefore, the Lagos DSVRT should boost its access and counselling capacity, aside from intervening to save a distressed soul being battered. Prevention, after all, is better than cure.
Still talking prevention, spousal violence poisons the very root of the next generation. On and on, as offspring inculcate bad values, they pass them down. Everything possible, therefore, should be done to prevent such an ugly trend. That, and only that, can secure the future of the family as a caring, sane and loving unit. A happy family forms the bulwark of a peaceful society.
The Lagos findings have shown domestic violence is becoming gender-neuter. It’s time to evolve a gender-neuter strategy to curb it.