Category: Steve Osuji

  • There was a Country: The pogroms, the Aburi accords and the nightmare

    There was a Country: The pogroms, the Aburi accords and the nightmare

    There was a country, Chinua Achebe’s narrative of the Biafra and the Nigerian crises of nationhood soon moves from a personal story of early beginnings to the Nigerian tale of elite redux, leadership failure, coup, killings, counter coup and war. Reading through his account, one is chilled to find that the conditions precedent to the calamities that befell the country, the grim precursors to Nigeria’s sad unravelling are also eerily present today. Though he has not said anything that had not been said in other Biafra books by Madiebo, Achuzie, Ademoyega andUwechue, it is easily discernible that Achebe’s narrative is nimbler, his insight deeper and perspective broader.

    For instance, contrary to the generally held view that Colonel Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu was driven by a vaulting ambition to rule a sovereign State of Biafra, thus declared war heedlessly, the decision was actually taken by the entire Igbo leaders, intelligentsia and the people after months of consultation and dithering by the Federal Government.

    Hear Achebe on this: “It is crucial to note that the decision of an entire people, the Igbo people to leave Nigeria, did not come from Ojukwu alone but was informed by the desire of the people and mandated by a body that contained some of the most distinguished Nigerians in history: Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, Nigeria’s former Governor-General and first ceremonial President; Dr. Michael I. Okpara and Sir Francis Ibiam, former Premier and Governor of Eastern Nigeria, respectively; and Supreme Court Justice Sir Louis Mbanefo. Others included: Educationist Dr. Alvan Ikoku; First Republic minister, Mr. K. O. Mbadiwe as well as Mr. N. U. Akpan, Mr. Joseph Echeruo, Mr. Ekukinam-Bassey, Chief Samuel Mbakwe, Chief Jerome Udoji, and Chief Margaret Ekpo.”

    By late May of 1967, the battle line had been drawn between Eastern Nigeria and the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Both sides were engrossed in what in today’s parlance, is called a strategic session, to contain the “enemy”. Earlier in April, frustrated that the Gen. Yakubu Gowon-led Federal Government would neither act on the Aburi agreements nor do something about the masterminds of the pogrom, Ojukwu began to sever ties with the centre. He froze official communication with Lagos and disconnected all administrative and revenue ties.

    In a speech to the nation on May 27, 1967, Gowon responded to what he described as Ojukwu’s assault on Nigeria’s unity and blatant revenue appropriation by declaring a state of emergency and dividing the nation into 12 states. This was a deadly blow to the Biafra move as the implications of this move were deep and devastating. The Igbo were isolated and all the surrounding ethnic minorities were ranged against them and most notably, they were excised from the major oil wells. This singular move was to be decisive later when the war raged. All the minority states fought against Biafra and the foreign powers with their eyes trained on Nigeria’s crude oil, backed the federal side or looked the other way as the Igbo were being pummelled when hostilities raged.

    The die was cast. On May 30, 1967, Ojukwu bit the bullet. This is how Achebe recorded it: “Ojukwu, citing a variety of malevolent acts directed at the mainly Igbo Easterners – such as the pogrom that claimed over 30,000 lives; the Federal Government’s failure to ensure the safety of Easterners in the presence of organised genocide, the direct incrimination of the government in the murders of its own citizens – proclaimed the independence of the Republic of Biafra from Nigeria, with the full backing of the Eastern House Constituent Assembly.”

    The Biafran position, as Achebe sees it is that beginning with the January 15, 1966, coup d’etat, through the countercoup (staged mainly by Northern Nigerian officers, who murdered 185 Igbo officers) and the massacre of 30,000 Igbo and Easterners in pogroms that started in May 1966 and occurred over four months – the events of those months left millions of other future Biafrans and me feeling terrified. As we fled “home” to Eastern Nigeria to escape all manner of atrocities that were being inflicted upon us and our families in different parts of Nigeria, we saw ourselves as victims. When we noticed that the Federal Government of Nigeria did not respond to our call to end the pogroms, we concluded that a government that failed to safeguard the lives of its citizens had no claim to their allegiance and must be ready to accept that the victims deserve the right to seek their safety in other ways – including secession.”

    The Nigerian position in the crisis as Achebe presents it, was hinged on the premise that if Biafra was allowed to secede, then a number of other ethnic nationalities within Nigeria would follow suit. The Nigeria government, therefore, had to block Biafra secession to prevent the dissolution of Nigeria.

    Tracing the origin of the crisis, Achebe noted that Nigeria’s leaders at the time were not quite ready to face up to the nation’s problems. He says: “If its leaders had approached their duty with humility, they all might have realised long before the coup that the country was in deep trouble. Nigeria was rocked by one crisis after another in the years that followed independence. First, the Nigerian census crisis of 1963-’64 shook the nation, then the federal election crisis of 1964, which was followed by the Western Nigeria election crisis of 1965 – which threatened to split the country at its seams. At that point, most of us, the writers at least, knew that something was very wrong in Nigeria. A fix was long overdue.”

    Apart from the incompetence of the Nigerian ruling class to rise up to the occasion at this critical juncture, the author also delved at length into the supposed Igbo dominance of that era, how it fanned the embers of hatred and how the January 15, 1966 coup, which went awry, was twisted to be an Igbo coup, breeding the reprisal in July. If the Northerners had stopped at killing about 185 Igbo officers, it would have probably been allowed as a horrendous tit for tat. “But the Northerners turned on Igbo civilians living in the North and unleashed waves of brutal massacre that Colin Legum of The Observer (UK) was the first to describe as a pogrom.”

    The Igbo fled from across the country back home. There was suddenly a “refugee” crisis in the East as over a million returnees could not be managed. Meanwhile, the killings were not assuaged; they were not even discussed let alone the perpetrators being brought to justice. General Aguiyi- Ironsi, the Igbo officer who took over the reins of power after the first coup, was hunted down in a most horrific manner with his host, Colonel Adekunle Fajuyi, in Ibadan.

    When, therefore, attempts were made to repair all these at the Aburi Summit in Ghana, the sore had festered.

     

    •Tomorrow: Ojukwu and Gowon; The Asaba massacre and Ogbunigwe bomb.

     

  • Achebe’s tintinnabulating truth

    Achebe’s tintinnabulating truth

    Good truth – yes, there is good truth – it tintinnabulates. It continues to ring in the mind (ear) and jars its target (victim) until he succumbs to it or even goes crazy as the case may be. Good truth is an ever ringing bell that will never stop until assuaged. This is what Nigeria’s patriot-extraordinaire, Professor Chinua Achebe has told his compatriots in his new Biafra war memoir, There was a Country. For a book just released in the United States, hardly been read by anyone in Nigeria, the tome of reviews and commentaries on just an excerpt of it is a testimony to the stature of the author and the weight of what of his proclaimation in the book.

    In the extract, published in The Guardian of London, Achebe simply says that the story of Biafra is being suppressed and sandbagged in order to put a veil over one of the worst genocides of human history. He wants our collective Biafra to be properly investigated, interrogated, discussed, debated and reconciled so that we do not walk blindly, into such gruesome history ever again. He said vicious policies were deployed in fighting what was a civil war and that even post war (on-going) attrition against Igbo is in itself, the worst kind of warfare. Achebe mentioned the food blockade to Biafra, the 20 pounds policy and oblique economic warfare as facts of that war and its aftermath. He then went on to mention some of the dramatis personae who were the master-minds and architects of the ideas that shaped Biafra.

    Achebe mentioned specifically, the role played by Chief Obafemi Awolowo who was the war regime’s Finance Minister, chief strategist and certainly, the second most powerful man in the land at that time after the Head of State, General Yakubu Gowon. An attestation to this was that Chief Awolowo, as part of the strategy to damage Biafra’s position, single-handedly changed Nigeria’s currency during the war with General Gowon knowing about it only the day before. Such was Pa Awolowo’s power that only two other Nigerians knew about his stratagem.

    These issues have been with us since after the war in 1971 prompting journalists to ask Chief Awolowo for explanation during the 1983 presidential election campaign. And he had thrown some light on them as much as possible. This in itself is a strong suggestion that these questions are still live and latent. Now the grouse of many commentators is that this matter need not be raised anymore so long after the end of the war. Some wonder why Achebe, an elderstatesman would be ‘opening old wounds’ 41 years after Biafra. But there is no better mind to profile Chief Awolowo today than Achebe. He had said earlier that the sage was tribal and now; overly ambitious. One says why not; in fact one wished the great Nnamdi Azikiwe had such virtues, Igboland would have been better for it. But then there are consequences too, which Achebe points to.

    Most people missed Achebe’s point. Even the First and Second World Wars are still being interrogated and written about; ideas are never time-barred. On the other hand, the Biafra imbroglio is being muted and muffed by the perpetrators as if it were a taboo. And in fact, the victims are being dared to tell their story. The truth, however, is that the blood of about two million Igbo people spilled in the most brutish genocide of our time will not rest until atoned. The ghosts of innocent people including pregnant women slaughtered on the streets of the north and other parts of Nigeria will continue to walk those streets until they are reconciled.

    Most disturbing is that many accuse Achebe of hate and bitterness. That is a very illiterate summation. Achebe is a transcendental mind. Anyone who understands this would know that he long outgrew such baseness. Imagine a Wole Soyinka hating people or being bitter. Their ilk only exhibit hateful abhorrence for injustice, arrogance and suppression of truth as has happened in the Biafra case. Even if we disagree with Achebe, we must at least accept that he knows what he is talking about. Here is a man who had written all his epic novels – including the prophetic, A Man of the People – over a decade before the upheaval. Even at the lower level, hate and sustained bitterness are not in the nature of the Igbo man; that is why he moves freely to every corner of the world. Ojemba e nwe iro is how we say it in Igbo.

    The real problem is that the rest of Nigeria doesn’t want to hear it but you cannot put down two million kinsmen and expect to sweep all that heap under the carpet. It won’t keep. You must clean out those carpets someday. That is Achebe’s thesis.

     

    2015 and Orji Kalu: where Greg Mbadiwe got it wrong

     

    One was taken aback reading Ambassador Greg Mbadiwe in this newspaper last Friday on how former Abia governor, Orji Uzor Kalu got it wrong in his 2015 Igbo presidency calculations. Greg in his very articulate piece suggests that Kalu need not go on the offensive in seeking to actualize the Igbo presidency agenda in 2015. Here is Greg’s summation: “while it is the turn of Igbos to produce the President in 2015 it can only be achievable if President Jonathan is not re-contesting. If he is, and PDP endorses him, the bargaining chip left for Igbos would be to insist on succeeding him after his tenure.”

    The logic in the above conclusion is so flawed that I was troubled whether it is the Greg I had encountered several times who is not terribly compromised. Here are a few questions for Greg: why should the lot of the entire Igbo race be left solely to President Jonathan’s decision to run or not to run? And while he decides, we Ndigbo must go home, lock ourselves in and wait? Don’t you find that to be terribly self-deprecating? Don’t you think Kalu has an inalienable right to discuss 2015 presidency, to rally his people, to even contest? Who says PDP is the be all and end all party in Nigeria? Who told you PDP will win in 2015? Why should Jonathan run for a second term? Does he deserved to run; why should Nigerias vote him again; has he lived up to expectations? Did he not give his word that he would serve only one term? Where is our honour?

    And lastly my brother Greg, if perchance PDP gives him another ticket, do you think Ndigbo still have a bargaining chip with a ticket in Jonathan’s pocket? Why would he not bargain with other regions with higher ace? My brother, though I am no fan of Kalu’s, I wager that he is doing the right thing. We must rally ourselves first, harness Ndigbo to one strong, loud voice then we can go to any bargaining table and get our due. Dear brother, let us shun that cheap platter of porridge they dish to us, it is overnight manure that amounts to nothing; let’s work on things that endure.

     

    LAST MUG: Wow, Gov. Rochas parties while Igbo governors were strategizing: Governor Rochas Okorocha’s obscene 50th birthday celebration would never have found space here had he not been conspicuously absent in Enugu last Sunday during the parley of Southeast governors and political leaders. To say the least, it was very embarrassing to read that the Imo governor was absent because he was celebrating his birthday. What vanity, what self-glorification? Did Imo people vote Rochas to office to celebrate lavish birthdays? If he would rather wine and dine than attend to state affairs, why would he not send his deputy as Enugu State did? At a meeting why the most crucial issue (state creation) to the Igboman was decided, Imo governor chose to party.

    Seized by the evil spirits of vanity, Rochas shut down his State (offices, schools, markets) and invited a foreign head of state and five state governors to a lavish party. Meanwhile, the workers’ salaries had not been paid and there is no factory humming in the state. Why would a sitting governor throw such a lavish party in a State that has no economy other than federal allocation and whose money is being spent? Only emperors of old exhibit this manner of recklessness and impunity…

  • Sorry Mr. President, our nation is NOT making progress

    It is not quite decorous that one should answer back to ones President but with all due respect sir, there doesn’t seem to be any other way to react to your Independence Day address to the nation than to point it out to you in a direct, plain, simple and straight forward way, the inherent lapses that seem quite grave, to say the least. What I am saying has to be said devoid of any ambiguity or literary guile because it is very important that it is clearly understood.

    With due respect to you sir, your speech of October 1st was not only way under par, it is a long litany half-truths, contrivances and outright fallacies. After listening and then reading the published texts (just to make sure I heard you correctly,) my conclusion is that we are probably living in two different countries. While the rest of us live in Nigeria, you live in Asokoro Land from where you hop into your luxury jet and fly off to other beautiful places across the world. Obviously you only see the real Nigeria through the eyes of your fawning aides and the screen of the Nigeria Television Authority. That’s acute myopia.

    You said sir that “our nation is making progress” and I say sir that the country is fast receding to the status of a failed state. I will provide substantiation to this later.

    You seem to anchor your speech and thoughts on your so-called Transformation Agenda (TA) which you mentioned liberally in the speech. But sorry sir, what is this TA? As I write this, I honestly proclaim that I do not know the head or tail; the beginning or the end of this Agenda being profusely touted by you and your aides as if it were a magical command to solve all of Nigeria’s problems. Nearly one and half years since your inauguration yet nobody has carefully defined and sold (told) this agenda to the people before we can begin to debate its implementation. Where is this document, what is its essence, what are the deliverables and timelines, what are the signature projects, what are the people to expect at the end of four years? The people deserve to know these things and more as a basis of assessing you after four years. Heaven is my witness I do not know. I offer this space to any reader who knows.

    Mr. President, to transform is to change radically, quickly, dramatically, completely, from good… to best. Transformation is akin to a paradigm shift – you create a model, an exemplar of all that is good. Most obviously Mr. President, the problems of your administration may well lie in your understanding of the word ‘transformation’. Perhaps if you had anchored around a less virile and less organic word may be we would just look the other way and allow you waddle through four years.

    Mr. President if you go to bed with ‘transformation’ you are bound to give birth to extreme children (that word again!). One quick example sir: a transformational leader in your shoes today would handle the corruption monster in Nigeria this way. From day one in office, he would declare all his assets to the last pin publicly to Nigerians; he would insist everyone under his purview, does the same pronto. He would draw a line right there and dare anyone to take a pin he has not earned. At the end of each year through the four-year tenure, he and his appointees would repeat the same process.

    This, Mr. President, is transformation. With this approach, you may never have much need of anti-corruption agencies because you have deployed a stronger force called personal example. You have not done any of this, in fact corruption and not insecurity, is the greatest problem of your administration. Yet you looked Nigerians in the face and told them that: “We are fighting corruption in all facets of our economy and we are succeeding.”

    How could you say that Mr. President? That is a mind-bending untruth; one almost became deranged listening to your anti-corruption treatise. Let it be stated clearly that yours so far, is the most corrupt government in our history. You and members of all arms of this government seem to be sworn to a blood oath to run a deeply corrupt system. You are all in a steamy, carnal relationship with corruption. Under your administration, corruption piggybacks on corruption; corruption violently sodomises corruption. Here is a scenario: a governor loots his state blind and when his tenure ends, instead of the thief being brought to book, the Office of the Attorney –General of the Federation (AGF) in cahoots with the anti-graft agencies, would squeeze the bandit of the loot in the name of plea-bargain and then set him free. This shady, non-transparent, non-accountable transaction is never made public; the monies are never repatriated to the stated. The total amount is never made known by the plea bargain incorporated Office of the AGF. The thief-catcher is himself a mindless thief and it explains why we never had a single ex-governor convicted or jailed. We are in a looters’ paradise.

    Mr. President, just a few days before October 1st, a 24-year-old young Nigerian was arrested at the Lagos Airport trying to ferry $7m (about N1.1b) to Dubai. He said he was working for powerful Nigerians. It never got this bad. Why are we at the nadir now? I will tell you. You, Mr. President, you and your friends hardly fund the budget up to 20%. Mr. President the local governments across the country are all worsted. Nothing is happening there except desolation and death. We never heard a word from you concerning this; what is transformation?

    Now back to your comment that our nation is making progress and you premised that on a 7.1% gross domestic product growth (GDP). With due respect Mr. President, it is not true that there is such a growth and if perchance there were, official corruption eats it all up. You said power supply has improved but most of us could not watch your broadcast due to power outage. Our energy sector is sinking deeper into crisis with fuel scarcity crippling the nation. After 52 years, we cannot exploit our oil, we cannot refine it and we cannot even manage to ship in refined products from other countries. We do not care how you do it but it will be a big shame if you don’t deliver a refinery as you promised, in four years.

    Lastly, you said, “we have improved on our investment environment; more corporate bodies are investing in the Nigerian economy… Nigeria has become the preferred investment destination for investment in Africa.” Common Mr. President you sure didn’t say that. You surely do not suggest that all the small, small chop money that desperate Nigerian Diasporans send to their old ladies back home is actually investment? Is it really? If only you could take another look at your favourite word, TRANSFORMATION, ironically, you are actually sitting on the solution to most of our problems.

    LAST MUG: Governor Rochas’ reality check: Governor Rochas okorocha of Imo State must be a thoroughly disillusioned man now. He may have completely dissipated the wave of the people’s goodwill upon which he rode to office a short while ago. Last Saturday when Deputy Speaker, Emeka Ihedioha was celebrating his mother, Rochas was actually booed by the same people who thought he was a messiah just a few months ago. That was not the first time; he was recently disgraced in a paliamentary poll in Oguta when his party lost woefully. More worrisome, the dim on the streets of Owerri (by hapless Imolites) is that Ikiri (the queer owl, as the ousted governor Ikedi Ohakim was derisively called), is far better than a born criminal. It’s a pity, if only they knew then, what they know now. Meanwhile Imo State is like a wasteland under the spell of a hurricane.

  • New Southeast State: Thanks Gov. Kwankwaso

    New Southeast State: Thanks Gov. Kwankwaso

    Such comforting irony it is that sometimes, adversary brings out the best in you and if you are lucky, some good fortune. This is what may happen to the age-long, half-hearted agitation by Ndigbo for equity and fairness in the distribution of Nigeria’s commonwealth among the federating units. The Igbo nation which was one of the three regions (Eastern Region) of Nigeria at Independence in 1960 has today been viciously carved and sculpted into a tiny appendage entity of southern Nigeria through the instrumentality of the Hausa-Fulani hegemony which held sway for over 35 years since 1960.

    Recently, the governor of Kano State, Alhaji Rabiu Kwankwaso kicked the doughty backsides of the Igbo elite when he let it be known in clear terms that Ndigbo agitating for an additional state is misguided and unreasonable. And one must say it here upfront that Ndigbo have this man to be grateful to who has let it out that the pre-civil war conditions, perceptions and even afflictions are still alive and well. Did our fathers not teach us that when evil persists for one year, it tends to become the norm? One noticed some Igbo leaders hee and haw about Kwankwaso’s statement but if it takes the Kano governor to stir us to life then we should show him nothing but gratitude.

    It was before our eyes that so many voodoo censuses have been held for the sole purpose of keeping the Igbo nation static at her post- independence population while other region’s population had been growing in leaps and bounds. Before our eyes, Southern Cameroun was excised from Southern Nigeria; before our eyes, the oil-rich Bakassi Peninsula was handed to Cameroun just to spite the Eastern Region. We watched as the hegemonistas in military uniform brazenly re-parceled the country into states, federal constituencies, local governments and even electoral wards to suit their design to continue to dominate in perpetuity.

    Never be a bedfellow to an unjust man, says an old adage for you will always wake up on the floor. Governor Kwankwaso is only acting true to type. Traditionally, he is not capable of fair play, equity and justice otherwise, he would have been restrained in his comments knowing that Nigeria’s population censuses, the premise on which his argument is built is deliberately skewed and therefore, unreliable. Kwankwaso would have been circumspect if he realized the deep hurt the entire Igbo nation bears for being subordinated to the size of old Kano State (today’s Kano and Jigawa States). These two states now have more local government councils, more federal constituencies and more INEC wards than the entire five Southeast states. What this means is that in the last 20 years or so, these two states have been getting more federal allocation than the whole of the Southeast put together.

    How could Governor Kwankwaso make such a callous, if not wayward statement knowing that Ndigbo make up about one-third of the phantom nine million population figure he claims that Kano has? It is the same way Ndigbo are littered across all Nigerian towns and cities; refugees in their land, partly because there is an unspoken national agenda to mark them out even when they do not have the ball. This is the punishment and pain Ndigbo have endured and lived with, albeit, gallantly since after the civil war.

    But there is no wallowing in self pity here. Ndigbo actually have themselves to blame for their current situation as this column had posited several times in the past. Fact: if Ndigbo by a certain consensus this instant, are asked to present a new Igbo State for adoption, one doubts if they are capable of presenting one in the next 10 years. Reason: every Amadi and Okoro who has a say wants the new state carved out of his backyard and the new capital sited in his front yard. In short, there is no critical Igbo elite therefore, there is no critical consensus on issues that matter to us. What a pity. Perhaps Kwankwaso has roused us?

    LAST MUG: PHCN sale: why would IBB, OBJ buy power plants they run down: there is something uncanny about former presidents buying up state facilities they allowed to be run down and decay under the guise that government cannot run anything. During the reign of President Ibrahim Babangida, over $12 billion oil revenue was unaccounted for. In the time of President Olusegun Obasanjo, again, over $12 billion was repaid as loan to some rich countries. Today, the country suffer untold infrastructure and power deficit and the nation’s meager power assets are unbundled and privatised to make them more efficient and guess who is buying them? To allow firms (North-South Power Coy and Transcorp) in which Babangida and Obasanjo have interests to buy Nigeria’s power plants is the limit of corruption in Nigeria.

    Right of Reply

    Re: Of Deathways, Highways and Onolememen’s N652 billion

    Ordinarily, one would not have bothered replying Steve Osuji over his article published in last Friday’s (14th September, 2012) edition of the Nation Newspaper titled “Of Deathways, highways and Onolememen’s N652 billion’ but for the malicious falsehood contained therein.

    Osuji apparently trying to create an unsupported parallelism between a recent accident along the Benin-Ore-Sagamu expressway in which four lecturers of the Igbinedion University plunged into Ovia River and the awarded contract for its rehabilitation, claimed that the Federal Executive Council has just approved the award of the repairs of the road to the tune of N652 billion. This is not only false, but a deliberate misrepresentation of facts.

    For the purposes of records, the rehabilitation of the third phase of the Benin-Ore-Sagamu expressway was only approved by the Federal Executive Council on the 5th of September, 2012 for award to RCC Limited at the cost of N65.223 billion and not N652 billion as claimed by Osuji. Our friend Osuji would have made a balanced and beautiful article if he attempted to delve into the recent past condition of the Benin-Ore-Shagamu expressway before the intervention of the present administration. If he did, he would have also told the reading public that barely six months after taking over as Minister of Works, Arc. Mike Onolememen substantively changed the condition of the road and commuters no longer have to spend over 9 hours to shuttle between Lagos and Benin City. Not only that, the on-going works in the first two sections of the road have reached 89% and 91% respectively, making it possible for travellers from Benin to Lagos to make the journey in about four hours. Expectedly, no road has attracted commendations from the public like the Benin-Ore-Sagamu expressway since Arc. Onolememen restored the perennial failed section at Ore.

    It is our joy that all contractors working at various locations of the nation’s roads including the Onitsha-Enugu dual carriageway which he also mentioned, have just been paid by the Federal Ministry of Works and massive works will soon resume in a matter of days as the rainy season ends.

    •Tony Ikpasaja

    S.A (MEDIA) to Hon Minister of Works

    Note: the wrong figure, N652 billion was picked from a national newspaper which reported the FEC meeting. It is simply an error which this column regrets. No malice or deliberate misrepresentation was intended. But the piece is about the rate of fatal accidents on our roads which has become a carnage. Who might the next victim be? Our Federal roads are still largely death traps. That is the story.

  • A potpourri of Abati, Lady Gaga, Ben Obi and SLS

    A potpourri of Abati, Lady Gaga, Ben Obi and SLS

     

    When a columnist is assailed by a torrent of issues, dire and critical, he often resorts to cooking them all with one pot ( a cauldron if you will). This column has gathered the above in-the-news dramatis personae to x-ray what they have in common or uncommon.

    Hurray, Reuben Abati can bite too!: Ouch, we don’t want to think for a moment that our dear colleague, Dr Reuben Abati has been pressured into posturing like an ‘attack dog’ for the president too. Sorry we have been asked to use ‘attack lion’ at least in the spirit of the corps. While I will not divulge who made this all-important correction, you and I know who has been pressuring our Abati to make his bite as ferocious as his bark lest his office would be relocated near Aso Rock kitchen where Mama can rework his media offerings which she thinks are beginning to lapse into annoying literary essays.

    Well, if he did not want to heed the warnings, the recruiting of a wild, if not hungry ‘lion’ into the mix has snapped our venerable Reuben into quick march. Who would not, what with the ‘initial gra gra’ of the second lion raising dust everywhere and perhaps getting all the freebies. It didn’t matter that Reuben had done quite well in the past 14 months under the extreme and peculiar circumstances he found himself. He had done his very difficult job with unusual aplomb, gradually elevating his office to a quality presidential instrument of public engagement – reflective, authoritative, genuine and germane.

    However, it seems Abati has been pushed to change from the civilized style to the crude Nigerian way. Abati showed us his teeth last Sunday in a widely circulated article: ‘The Jonathan they don’t know’. So much is wrong with the piece apart from the effusion of canker and abuse. Now who are ‘they’? Is it the masses of Nigerians who voted overwhelmingly for Jonathan just last year? Yes Reuben has a ‘new’ job to do now but he is versed enough in the art of public perception; he surely knows that the president lost Nigerians in January when he ambushed them with that vicious New Year gift of ‘subsidy’ removal. Look at the tsunami of incongruities that has trailed that singular, crazy action. Has any problem been solved? Look at the mind-bending corruption unfolding under his principal’s watch. You are right Reuben, we do not know this President any longer.

    Abati  opened his piece snapping at all manner of ‘enemies’ of his principal calling them all manner of names like cynics, ignoramuses, unintelligent, thoughtless, anarchists and alaseju – the extremist. You must remember this word which General Ibrahim Babangida popularized at the peak of his dictatorship prelude to clamping down on the Nigerian free spirit as represented then by lecturers, unionists, activists and of course, newspaper houses. Did Reuben deliberately refrain from using the English word ‘extremist’ in his write-up and settled instead for the Yoruba term, alaseju?

    Need we remind our dear friend that this ignoramus mob of critics has been part of the democratic culture from the beginning of time? One American president once described his horde of critics as “a nattering nabob of negativism.” Let me close with this quote from Abati’s piece: “The clear danger to public affairs commentary is that we have a lot of unintelligent people repeating stupid clichés and too many intelligent persons wasting their talents lending relevance to thoughtless conclusions.” Well Reuben should accept our sympathy but nobody, not even the idiotic columnist will hand him his script to rework before publication. And of course, if he and his principal don’t like the Nigerian smoke, they should quit the Nigerian kitchen.

    A Lady Gaga-ed world: now you may begin to wonder what the enfant terrible of American entertainment world, Lady Gaga has got to do with this column? Nothing really except that she is at number 14 in the Forbes list of 100 world’s most powerful women. The salacious, often ill-clad and flesh-flashing musician is listed as a celebrity.( Hey, my ancient reader, celebrity is now a profession in this new world in case you have not noticed, thank you.) Lady Gaga (pardon me I couldn’t be bothered with her real name) comes ahead of the president of Argentina, the prime minister of Australia, the prime minister of Thailand, the president of Malawi and the president of Liberia. She even comes ahead of Queen Elizabeth II of England. She is rated to be by far more powerful (whatever that means) than numerous women of notable achievement and substance including our own Finance Minister, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.

    The message Forbes is passing to us is that the world has become so terribly dumbed- down and stupid that it places so much values on a young woman who does little else than dress wildly and showcase her body. Can you see the direction the world is travelling?

    Ben Obi drops Ogbunigwe on Ndigbo:  Chei, our dear elder, Chief Ben Obi, who is adviser to President Goodluck Jonathan on inter-party affairs has lobbed a grenade at his people. In his wisdom, Chief Obi has advised Ndigbo not to contemplate the presidency in 2015 until his boss, the incumbent has decided whether he wants a second term or not. It may sound unbelievable if not ludicrous but that is the way of the Igbo elite, he is the quintessential house negro. Give him a small pot of porridge and he mortgages his homestead. It was the same situation in 2003 when Chief Ojo Maduekwe, then minister in President Olusegun Obasanjo’s administration admonished that it was idiotic for Ndigbo to contemplate the Nigerian presidency ostensibly because his boss wanted a second term desperately.

    What has changed in Igboland since 2003? Nothing, excepting that Elder Maduekwe has remained in one miserable appointment or the other since then. Do these people know what Ndigbo suffer by having fewer states with huge population in Nigeria? How many federal projects has been completed in Igboland since 2003? Do they know why Igboland is today a wasteland for kidnappers, assassins and pimps? Our leaders and elders can’t go home anymore and termites build multiple mole hills in their obi. Our elders now observe traditional rites in the cities. E woo, aru eme na ala Igbo. With men like these, who need leaders and elders.

    Sanusi: the joker in the (Central) Bank: those who gave Malam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi (SLS) some benefit of the doubt would have by last week, given up hope entirely on him. This fellow has proven for sure that he has no clue (this harmful word again) about running the central bank, the pulse of any nation’s economy. First he is too loquacious, too impulsive and he enjoys grandstanding a great deal. This is not the nature and character of supreme money men of the apex bank ilk. They are hardly seen, hardly heard unless in matters of extreme monetary importance.

    Second, who says the banks in the country must be in perpetual reform mode.(it’s the CBN that need a forensic reform). Since 1999, there has been this morbid instinct to continuously tinker with our banks. The result is that the banking system has been thoroughly ravaged by these ill-informed, and one must say, ill-motivated reforms. Now, Sanusi, the current banker of bankers seems to have worked himself into a mire and as we say in my place, a man who has been beaten to the ground can only spray dust and nothing more. Sanusi’s  current irrational action of introducing five thousand naira currency notes only signals that he has unraveled completely and the best thing that can happen to him now is to help him out of that seat in the best interest of all. He has become the joker in the bank.