Category: Sam Omatseye

  • Anglican church fights its leader

    Anglican church fights its leader

    The appointment of Sarah Mullaly as the new archbishop of Canterbury has touched off not a little controversy in Christendom.

    The contention is that a woman is not permitted by scripture to lead the people of God. Those who make such claims often cite passages of the Bible.

    For instance, Paul roared to Timothy, “I suffer not a woman to teach or usurp authority over the man.” To the Corinthians, he urged that the woman should “learn in silence.”

     Other points are that Jesus Christ did not pick a woman among the 12 apostles and 70 disciples. Paul’s assertion “Let a bishop be blameless, a husband of one wife,” presumes that a bishop must be a man. Yet in Old and New Testaments, we have women who, with the blessings of God, could be described as called by God. The word prophet means “to call.”

    We have Mariam, Deborah, wife of Isaiah, Jezebel, Huldah, Noadiah and Anna.

    Mariam fell out of favour for rebellion. But the most distinguished of them all was Deborah, who the Bible announces glowingly: “Deborah, the prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, judged Israel at that time.” Huldah affirmed the book of the law to Josiah.

    Anna was called a prophetess at the time of Christ’s birth. Jezebel was a false prophet. She was never anointed. Just like male impostors. You can be anointed and God can take it away, as God did to Saul. Hence David begged God not to take the holy spirit from him.

    Paul is known to have mixed his opinion with revelations. It takes discerning to distinguish them. After all, he himself wrote, “the spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet.”

    It may well be that Men are God’s preferences but it may also be because, in Bible times, God was working through, not necessarily affirming, a patriarchal world, a world that placed women in a leash. That may explain why Jesus chose only men.

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    Yet, Mary Magdalene played great role in Jesus’ life. And can we forget that the first evangelist of Christianity were women who saw an empty grave and proclaimed that He has risen? Is that not all the essence of Christianity. The 11 apostles hid their tails behind their legs. Even Paul asserted that if Christ did not rise from the grave, then the faith is in vain.

    Men always bit the woman’s neck like a hunting cat throughout history.

    A woman in charge challenges the hubris of the ages. Men often underplay the power of women. Great men from Sisera to Sheba died by a woman’s cunning.

    And General Namaan regained his limbs by a maid’s counsel. Scriptures show men do not monopolise strategy. Some say God allows women to reign only when men fail. But when have men not failed in history? Just like when God backed the Zelophehad daughters on inheritance rights. Or when Esther led her fellow Jews to freedom.

    Maybe women don’t want to remain under the bushel anymore. Neither does the Almighty. It is time for them to take charge and the holy spirit may be behind them. The problem with religion is that we superimpose culture on it. Church is not a man’s world. It is Christ’s.

    An irony: a king wed and divorced a woman for England to divorce the Catholic Church and start the Anglican Church. If King Henry VIII shed Ann Boleyn to beget the Church of England, Archbishop Mullaly may be enjoying history’s revenge.

  • Billionaire vs the union

    Billionaire vs the union

    There is nothing that the story of oil will not do in this country. It is black but a devious beauty. It is a tale of a beautiful woman or what poets call a femme fatale.

    Nobel Laureate Garcia Marquez in his immortal novel, One Hundred Years of Solitude, wafts the tale of Remedios the Beauty, a celestial vision that titillates the fancies of mortal man.

     Men lose their way, croon and drool in vain, fall and even stalk her bathroom. But the beauty does not fall for anyone. She glides on, tragedy in her wake.

    So we may say of black gold, our black beauty. It is a story that entails both our most famous billionaire and our most famous trade unions.

    Dangote versus NUPENG. Dangote versus PENGASSAN. But normally, if these two forces met in battle, where would the popular army amass? The polls would naturally say the unions have it.

    Dangote outflanks the unions in popular favour today. That is the sorcery of oil. It is what happens when, in the words of Shakespeare, “witchcraft joins with beauty.”  It is, on the surface, a contest between the people and the billionaire.

    The people lost. It is, of course, a false victory.

    The people seem to lose because of what trade unions can mean today. They hark back to American revolutionary cry to yank off the yoke of colonial England: “No taxation without representation.” We have unions without representation.

    First, it was NUPENG, and the fight over trucks. They say Dangote was going to take over their business. They have thousands of Trucks to Dangote’s a fraction of theirs. But they were defending their corruption of the oil tanking business in cahoots with top fang-men in the oil business, including the NNPC. Dangote had come to intrude but they wanted to “chop” alone.

    Dangote may have a few trucks today but, maybe, tomorrow, he will outpace them. They wanted to nip the billionaire in the bud. We are not there yet.

    And if they wanted to fight, it is what the Yorubas call  Ija’gboro, a street brawl. In school, we called it “two fighting.”

    They fought shy of going to court. That is what the United States did to tame Bill Gates, and what the European Union has done to Google. Gates was a boa constrictor. He had no pity.

    Business men are no mice. Hence Philosopher Proudhon says, “all wealth is theft.”  Don’t expect a milk of human kindness from a capitalist. Capital has no bloodstream; hence it can shed blood.

    PENGASSAN is no different. The fight was over labour.

     The man fired 800 workers, a stunning number. PENGASSAN wanted revenge. Rather than take it on Dangote, they took it on the people. Festus Osifo and company’s agenda did everything that made the people hate bad governments and oppressors.

    First, they endangered our daily bread by trying to cut off pipelines that funneled the fuel of the economy.  It was to reduce the wealth of the nation. NNPC said output dropped 16 per cent just in those few days. That meant fuel scarcity, rise in inflation because transporters would pass on the cost down to the consumer. It also means negating the downward trend of inflation in the past few months.

    Two, they would compromise national security. Oil and gas pipelines bake our bread and make us safe. Pipeline busters are often men of the underworld: militants, hoodlums, bandits, etc.

    It shows that they had taken over the role of the criminal. They had turned themselves into corporate fangs. They are the new corporate raider, raiding the peace of the land. Labour union as terror.

    In the past, the labour union was a terror of ideology. We have a name once associated with NUPENG and PENGASSAN. It is Frank Kokori. He is the first name in oil heroism in Nigeria. He may be abstract to many. But when heroes matter, Kokori is named.

    During the tumult of our democracy struggles, the army lost sleep because of him. Whether they slept or rose, they had nightmares about this man.

     Kokori was the secretary, and he was the man who signed off or signed on for strike. If our present oil agitators are seeking their pockets, he was living a cause above oil and gas. Kokori gave up the promise of compromise with Abacha and goons. He shunned bribes or seductions. Not for him a big car, or a holiday in Honolulu, or a mansion in southern France. He wanted peace and food and representation with the people. He wanted the military to vacate power and hand the mandate to democracy’s jewel: the people.

    He did not want Abiola’s ballot to yield to the bullet. He won the election. The people had spoken. They wanted him as president.

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     The country was to shut down unless they bowed to the popular will or what Jean Jacque Rouseau called the “collective will.” If the military would not, he would not. Kokori became a vagabond for the people. He moved from place to place, hotel to hotel.

     He never saw wife or family. He never attended parties or funerals. He never had oxygen outside an enclosed place except when he was on the run.

    But he never surrendered until he was betrayed. That is the quintessence of a union leader.

    Today, the folks who control PENGASSAN and NUPENG are money men, so, it is not a billionaire versus the masses, but a big rich man versus a cartel of rich men who masquerade as the people’s conscience.

    The men had the guts to stop our spigot of life, our economic jugular, and yet they claim they love us.

    That is the story of black beauty. It is a dangerous beauty like Marquez’s Remedios the Beauty. It provokes ire and turbulence like the Trojan War that  Helen of Troy gave us, the beauty in the telling of Homer’s epic The Iliad.

     But we can make our black beauty a sublime one, of grace and prosperity like the black beauty Shakespeare serenaded in his Sonnet.

     The bard laments, though, that black beauty has been profaned, just like our crude oil. For him black “beauty (is) slandered with a bastard shame.” He adds that “Sweet beauty hath no name, no holy bower, but is profaned, if not lives in disgrace.”

    PENGASSAN and NUPENG have cast a shame on black gold as crude beauty.

  • Lighting strikes again

    Lighting strikes again

    Nuhu Ribadu, the slim, sometimes soft-spoken, tall and deceptively quiet former police officer has a rare second act in public office. The first was as the pioneer head of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC). Even though he was not president, he was the most dreaded man in the country. He was not afraid to make enemies, but he was an easy man to befriend.

    His voice is soft until it is fiery. He did not worry that some accused him of going after Obasanjo’s enemies. A thief, whether Obj’s friend or enemy, was an enemy of the people. He did his job with verve, and often with class.

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     His foes tried to get him, but he was not only a survivor but also a triumph. Many a mighty man fell in his time and under his authority, including an inspector general and top politicians. Few know that he also did not spare one of his close relatives.

    There were two quotes I associate with his time as EFCC boss, one from him, and another on the streets. He once quipped when they accused him of not following due process: “Did they follow due process when they were stealing the money?” The other I heard from a young lady to her wooer who boasted he had money. “Ah, you don’t have EFCC money?”

    At last, conspirators got him out of the way. Let the thieves steal in peace, they said to themselves.

    Now, Ribadu’s lightning is striking again. It is another type of corruption: violence. This is a vaster and delicate responsibility. If he was the pioneer EFCC boss, he is the first police officer to be the national security adviser. He has carried that job with panache and severity, combining the ruthless with the graceful. The records are there as tell tales.

     He has downed many a mighty terrorist, the latest being the Ansaru wizards and the ironically named Gentle de Yahoo in the Southeast. In spite of critics, the story is clear. Under his watch, the criminals are on the run, like snakes on the wall.

    They strike but they are in danger. That is the untold story of the men of fear. Ribadu lightning is shedding light and burning the hoodlums.

  • Joe and Mefi

    Joe and Mefi

    I met a politician of high pedestal the other day and the question of former President Goodluck Jonathan came up. He composed the contradictory traits in the former president in one epithet: He called him an “innocent fool.”

     He did not say it out of contempt but out of pity bordering on affection. I thought that was a weighty onslaught on someone some have described as a statesman.

    In arriving at his characterization, he recalled some entanglements with the former president in his plumy days in Aso Rock.

    He was easily conned by the seductions and flatteries of fellow politicians, he narrated, and they conjured up billions of naira from him on flimsy promises to deliver some states for him during the 2015 election.

     Perhaps his loss as epiphany explained why Goodluck Jonathan lamented at a birthday bash recently that no politician could be trusted.

    That knowledge has not restrained him from his ongoing itinerary. Is the politician right, then, that he is an innocent fool? He has been flattered again into self-belief that he can be president again. We can call it an odyssey of contradiction in courtesy visits for apparent gestures to test his chances of return. He is hugging the same motley men of perfidy. Enter Peter Obi. Enter David mark. Enter Jonathan. Enter naivete.

    But as one reflects on the former president, another name comes to mind. He is Godwin Emefiele. Their resemblance in temperament is intriguing.

    They have the same mien, a look that is easily hostage to the mischief of conmen. The same naïve, groveling kindness that makes them seek approval through gestures of generosity.

     The same lack of rigour or intellectual curiosity that subjects them to the persuasions of thinking quacks. The same courage that ends up as mere bravado, like a bullet as empty shell.

    They are both funny but no fun. They exude comedy in spite of themselves as though asking the world to laugh at them. Playwright Samuel Bekett calls it risus purus, a laugh laughing at itself. It is an abysmal farce.

    Because of these traits, both men project the worst of all: a delusion of grandeur. It is that delusion that has given them the belief they have the right – scratch that -, that they have the ideas and charisma to be president. It is after this self-characterisation that they part ways. Jonathan condenses his ideas and characterization in his projection of humility.

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    Hence, he told of his ‘fable’ of a boy who grew up without shoes. It is a fable because, for those of us who were raised in the Niger Delta in those days, it was not a special endowment. It was routine. In Warri, we called it walking on 10 toes. I did it. My mates did it. Nothing for which to win any epaulette.

    As for Emefiele, the former CBN chief, he did not propagate humility. Rather he rode on defiance, the peacock dignity of appropriating a high office because he was a big man. It is the sort of trait we saw in classic heroes of history like Caligula and Commodus in Rome and, in the 20th century, King Leopold of Belgium, who was described, in his quest as an emperor, as the “big minded man in an insignificant kingdom.” Hence, in one of his court trials, the former CBN governor twirled a exaggerated bible as a marker of his great and extraordinary piety.

    Before the APC  primaries, he was notorious for the fleet of campaign vans, wild blossoms of campaign posters, and a speculated war chest. He predated this with his caskets of rice pyramids that mocked the genuine ones in Kano when he was a student.

    Emefiele was miffed by my mockeries in those days, and his minions bought two advert pages in this newspaper to sponsor a counterattack that was a casket of brilliance. Mefi, as he was known either out of mockery or affection, fizzled away easily. We sought him at the primary, and he could not be found.

    Both Jonathan and Mefi thought they had a meal before them, and fell to dinner until they learned they were gobbling a pottage of sacrifice, a meal of the gods. It was forbidden. It is what in the Bible is described as the abomination “that maketh desolate.” Prophet Daniel coined that phrase when the Roman army desecrated the temple at Jerusalem.

     And referring to a runup to what Christians call the great tribulation, Jesus cried, “when ye shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand where it ought not to…”

    Well, that was on a higher plane. For Joe and Mefi, their ambition was like touching the unclean thing. Their ambitions are what in Niger Delta we called “over nikka, over shirt, or money miss road.” It means he is too small for his garments.

    Every political season throws up its own clown, and we have had them from the First Republic. Many would not know that S.L.A. Akintola was one of them, and hence his initials S.L.A was corrupted to ese ole in Yoruba, meaning the leg of a thief.

    I don’t know that I would call Joe and Mefi innocent fools. There was a character in Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s novel, The Brothers Karamazov, described as a saintly fool, or holy fool. But those persons are actually conscious mockers of society. They make fool of their societies by acting like fools. They are sublime characters like Feste in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. Philosophers, literary critics and psychologists have elaborated on this.

    I would not say Joe and Mefi are saintly fools either. They are not mocking their societies. They do not even have the talent to do that. Akintola and Olunloyo and even K.O. Mbadiwe will wear that laurel. Joe and Mefi are more sublime than that. Rather they are a mirror of a society. They are unconscious actors of a society full of men and women imagining themselves.

    Joe’s story is more terrible. He tasted the forbidden fruit, and he did not satisfy his soul. He was led out of the kitchen. He wants to return to the scene of the crime. Mighty Bible in hand, Mefi is pleading innocent in court.

  • Drumbeat on Kaduna streets

    Drumbeat on Kaduna streets

    In his play, Enemy of the People, Henrik Ibsen traded in irony. The main character who was presented as the public enemy was actually the beloved of the people’s interest. It is that irony that played out last weekend when President Bola Ahmed Tinubu visited Kaduna State for a wedding and a condolence.

    If you listened to the ululations of some so-called voices of the north from Kwankwaso to El-Rufai to Dalhatu, you would not expect that there would be a wedding. Yet the wedlock began on the streets of Kaduna. Whether it was on the road side or on flyovers, the youth lined up and admired. It was no passive cheer but one happy enough for chants.

    It was a tying of hearts not of a young man and a nubile, but of a septuagenarian leader and his people. The real wedding took back stage to the wedding of metaphor. There was no “I do,” but a hint of “we will do.” It came in chants like Baba Continuity and Tinubu Continuity.

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    Was it not a wedlock of sorts when a public heckler like Sule Lamido melted into a hug, and bluster became banter between him and President Bola Tinubu.

    The happy day was not based on a vacuum, but an acknowledgment of work done. It began with the President’s latchkey to the Kaduna heart, its chief executive who the president calls comrade: Governor Uba Sani. He has chosen peace over human rubble, building roads over Golgotha, food over feud, unity over division, good image over pillage. It is the same north that a man like Kwanwaso said was an enemy, the same north that is catching the rhythm and ember of “Omo logo.”

    If we say it was a wedding, literary classics have sometimes written about weddings leading to funerals, like Shakespeare’s Hamlet and -, and Aeschylus’ Iphigenia. The hint here is that the president’s visit sets the stage for a funeral pyre for those northern politicians who dreaded the wedding of the people and their leader last weekend.

  • Wike and his enemies

    Wike and his enemies

    Nyesom Wike’s story is etched on this era. Those who hate him may say he is the boor. But they cannot say he is boring. His foes hate him as though they crave him. They fight him as though they love him.

    If, God forbid, he drops dead today, those who hate him would want to prop him up, and invoke the Lazarus hour with Jesus. It is like the line from Walt Whitman’s poem ironically titled, Reconciliation.

     He writes: “My enemy is dead – a soul divine as myself is dead.” It is like the fight between Presidents Thomas Jefferson and John Adams. They both died within an hour of each other, with the other’s name on their lips as they expired.

     Jefferson said: “So John Adams lives.” Adams reportedly predated his expiration with the same sentiment about the third president of the United States.

    Online rodents who want Wike dead  are no real enemies. He laughed them to scorn. They are mercantilist, just like rumours that the President was bedridden and waiting to be flown abroad as well as Senate President Godswill Akpabio. They are hungry for Google’s paycheck.

    Wike’s real foes are companions. Critics of John Milton’s Paradise Lost assert that even the rendition of the devil in that epic is more impressive than that of God or Christ.

    Hence Wike’s best fights are even among those who were with him. With them, like the clergy, he has broken bread. Name them: Rotimi Amaechi, Atiku Abubakar, Aminu Tambuwal, Umar Damagum, Bala Mohammed, Sim Fubara.

     In a short story, The Lagoon, Joseph Conrad asserts that “there is no worse enemy and no better friend than a brother.” When politicians work together, they are like brothers, until money or ego poisons the honey.

    Not that Wike has not squared off with persons on the other side of the street. He gave us a hint last week in his interview with Seun Okinbaloye  on Channels Television, with reference to a top soldier and a police officer, one he called a killer and the other an assassin.

    He does not fear libel nor restrain from name calling. He does not forswear his position, neither does he apologise for his tender parts.

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     When he sings, he throws barbs. It is Wike who would croon with visceral gusto about Tinubu’s mandate song in front of chief of staff Gbajabiamila. He is the only politician in memory whose impulse on a rostrum transformed into a hit song embraced as armoury to fight enemies, to win friends, to invoke God and devil simultaneously.

    The vertebral bone of his last interview was his audacity. But it is not that he is not conscious that his foes have a voice. They do. Yet he spared no foe. He poked or choked, and he accused them with facts or the threat of facts. He can be caught in a contradiction, but Wike, to the best of my knowledge, has not been caught in a lie in public. That may be what scares his critics. His facts are offensive for being facts.

    Politicians lie for a living. His first big fight was with his predecessor, Rotimi Amaechi. He has said at least two things about him that Amaechi has not contradicted. He spoke about him and a deal while he- Amaechi – was governor.

     He said that his predecessor garlanded him that “after God, it is Wike.” That is potent. He said it was a public declaration. Men should not be saying such things in public again. The last person to say so on record was Rauf Aregbesola about the president. See how it turned out. See how it has turned out for Amaechi unless he comes out and debunks it.

    He called a certain police officer a killer, and repeated that noun for emphasis to a flustered interviewer. When you put Wike on stage, you get what you asked for.

    He can boast as though he does not. When he said he made Iyorchia Ayu PDP chairman and ousted him, it did not come across as a boast, but as a confession. He did it, and what can anyone do about it, he seemed to say. Remember, he threw epithets at him, including “prodigal father.”

    He did not spare Atiku or Tambuwal, and he said even if he lost the primary, he won the war: the presidential election. He took a swipe at former army chief Aliyu Gusau, and painted him as the shadowy hegemon who brokered the downfall of the PDP in the last election.

    We forget that Wike was on the cusp of winning the PDP presidential primary. I recall I was in a dinner with a few top media men, and one of them asserted that Wike was going to win the primary. I predicted he would be derailed in the last minute. The man was too feared by the high and mighty in the party to hand him the fat of the PDP. It seemed far-fetched at that time. I did not know how it was going to happen, but I knew that Wike had done charity to so many in the party. But they didn’t have the love to repay. If Apostle Paul says charity “never faileth,” Wike’s was an exception for PDP.

    The most important question in that Channels encounter was Wike’s poser, “Has anyone said I have betrayed him one day?” That is what I mean by the silence of his interlocutors. I am really waiting for anyone to say so, and if no one has anything to say, they should keep their peace.

    At one of his first live interviews organized in his office as FCT minister, he said with a frown of agonised self-assurance: “I always win.”

     He said it in the early days of his joust with Fubara. How does it look today? Who seems to have triumphed, at least for now? Maybe he has profited from treachery, that is a victim. Better to be betrayed and win than to betray and lose. That seems to be Wike’s charmed life so far.

    Wike and Fubara’s story recalls the tension between President Theodore Roosevelt and William Taft, his successor. It all ended in a gala night after years of recrimination. Taft walked up to his former mentor and gave him a hug. Claps and cheers drowned the venue.

     It was a moment of proud humility. It is still to be known whether Wike and Fubara fought as enemies who are friends or as friends who are enemies. The coming months will show. But for now, it is Wike’s triumph, and the Channels interview was a sort of seal to that battle. For all his incandescent rhetoric, Wike deserves credit for not taking a victory lap.

    Many who say he betrayed PDP by joining the Asiwaju government did not listen to him during the campaign. He made no bones about where he stood and for whom. He says he belongs to the PDP still, and that he is in the government for one reason only: Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Hence, he lashed out at the soldier. And when Okinbaloye pointed out that they are in the same government, he replied that he was there for Tinubu, and nothing else. His logic may not satisfy you, but that is fine with him so long as he is happy with himself.

    For this essayist, the interview was serious theatre if, for some, he entertained to embarrass, or embarrassed to entertain. Whatever it was, this is not the last of Wike’s immortal outings.

    The beat goes on.

  • Who has ADD?

    Who has ADD?

    The gang-up will not end. So will the frustration. Some men and women have come together to form a group called Alliance in Defence of Democracy (ADD) and their ostensible aim is to sanitise elections. The problem with the group is that they are reflecting  a reflex of rage from 2023.

     They have acted without subtlety or finesse. First is the cast. All of them, without exception, are those who were unhappy with their loss in 2023, including Oby Ezekwesili, Pat Utomi, Chidi Odinkalu, Usman Bugaje.

     They drip with fear and trembling over the prospect of another loss of four years in 2027. Their excuse is that they want to imbue the election with all the elements of integrity.

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    They failed to prove that the last poll lacked integrity, especially the Obidients among them who came a distant third, and claimed they won the polls. If these people had put together a list of disinterested fellows with no clear animus against the loss and humiliation of 2023, one would have accepted them as pursuing integrity. They do not know how to fight, but it is because it is the same people recycling themselves. They have fertility of names.

    Not long ago, Utomi put together a cast of about the same folks to organize a formal opposition outside the law and convention. He lost that argument, and he is up with another. It is a fertility of names but not of ideas.

    An affliction of fertility. Maybe they think we will not remember that they are the same people who clamoured and bellyached over the loss. Maybe they think we have ADD, not Alliance in Defence of Democracy but attention deficit disorder (ADD).

     The question though is who has the medical ADD? Is it Utomi’s political ADD or Nigerians who remember who they are?

  • A fruitless search

    A fruitless search

    The call for a proper Nigerian constitution reminds me of a recent essay.

    I read a short piece by Senator Babafemi Ojudu about Abuja, and he repined at the city’s lack of soul. It also reminds me of an American who met me at the Denver Press Club about two decades ago and was glad to tell me he had just visited Nigeria and Abuja especially, but wondered about the city.

     He did not find a “there, there,” my own words and apology to Gertrude Stein.

    He wanted to say that the Nigerian capital city was a “synthetic place,” I supplied the phrase, and he agreed with me. And I quickly interjected, “just like Washington.” Washington, like Abuja, is a manufactured city.

    It reminds me of a sprawling essay written by Time magazine’s essayist Roger Rosenblatt titled: Washington in which he lamented its lack of vitality. I cracked up at the assertion that if you ate in any of the American capital’s restaurant, you would think all the meals were cooked from the same kitchen.

    I disagree with Ojudu’s assertion about Abuja’s lack of soul. It has, but it is a manufactured soul. What he wanted the city to have, a museum, a theatre, et al, do not make a city a natural. It is akin to what a Russian novelist coined such phenomena. Nicolai Gogol called his famous novel and masterpiece “dead souls.” Ojudu was looking for the dead among the living.

    Abuja has a soul, like Washington, where people backstab, make deals, grab power. It is a city where politicians bicker, political parties scheme, protesters churn, technocrats undercut. Friendships are contractual. Foes are superficial. Deals light up faces. Losers recoil with revenge. If that is a soul, there you have it. President Truman said of Washington, “if you want a friend, buy a dog.”

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    Cities are born out of their own logic, out of history, little villains and heroes, out of a human effort to make it historic. They are natural and not the genius of human artifice.

    They can grow out of war like Ibadan, out of commerce like Lagos, like a melting pot, like New York or London. They develop their own attitudes, their own language, their own fears, their own pride. By language, I mean a distinct way of expression, phrases, accents, inflexions, etc. They have all these as their own quintessence.

    A fear in Lagos is not like a fear in Calabar. That is the nature of a city with a soul. It may be a cruel soul, a pervert soul, a joyful or even placid soul, but it is a soul built over generations and capable of evolution.

    No one can defend a city like Abuja, except soldiers. But a city like Warri can throw up volunteers because they are not defending the buildings or markets. They are defending themselves, their history, their heritage, something vital and intangible and irreducible.

    The same logic goes for the framing of a constitution. From those obsessed with a new law, I wonder whether they want to manufacture a Nigeria. Some are saying we need to have a parliamentary sort, as if we never had it. Some are calling for a regional style, as if the country never lived and never almost died in it. Some are saying let us have more states, some are saying let us blend the states.

    They are only clutching at straws. Just like a revolution, it does not go to a place. The place goes to it because it is immanent in the people. As Benjamen Franklin wrote about the American Revolution, “The revolution was in the hearts and minds of the American people.”

    It is not a constitution that goes to a people. A people go to a constitution. The problem is that there is no such thing as a Nigerian soul, and it is an amalgam of souls.

     We have no temple or bivouac. Not pot of life. And to make a law, we must know how to blend those souls into one. The truth is it cannot be naturally done. It has to evolve, and what we should do rather than belabour our minds to make the law, we should make a people.

    This is the frustration about law making in Nigeria. We want to make a law like the United States, but we are no nation like that. The U.S. may have a presidential system, but we are not the same people. We do not have the same history or culture. They run a system of consensus, we of heterogeneity.

     They don’t have to haggle over faith, when they say God Bless America.

    They agree on what God to invoke. They have one language, even though they have a multiplicity of accents. The south is different from the north, but they negotiate their kinship.

    The issues raised sometimes hint at amnesia. Take the call for a parliamentary system. What did we have at independence? The Westminster model from Britain.  We had a raucous house, and the sort in the Medieval Poland defined as “divinely ordained confusion.” What did we get in that republic? Civil unrest, state of emergency in the western region, riots and crippling strikes. In the end, a civil war with bloodlust over which we lost the republic.

    We have 36 states, and the outcry is the cost. Yet some want more states just because they want to be governor, senator or legislator.

    The present status of states suffocates them out of leverage. But others want to federate some states to cut cost. Will that not create old overlords? Will the Ekiti want to subject themselves to those who edged them into minority roles in the old western region? Or state?

    These are the complications we continue to grapple with in the search for a document. If we do not have faith in our neighbour, how do we give that faith to a piece of lyrical prose in a constitution? A document does not work without faith. In the garden of Eden, there was only one law, and it fell belly up between two people.

     The United Kingdom does not have a constitution written but they live on precedents and conventions, and they have survived as a model of a willing people for centuries, if through wars and social turmoil.

    It happens through heroes in history. Lincoln did it in the time of slavery. Garibaldi for Italy, Bismark for Germany. Lee Kwuan Yew blended the Chinese, Malays and Indians into a patriotic and cultural symmetry, so much so that when a Chinese leader visited Singapore, he was disappointed that the Chinese did not see anything special in him. Lee had made tribe irrelevant over a generation of fairness.

    The Bible often tells us that the difference between the Old and New Testaments is the letter of the law. The spirit of the law gives life. We are still obsessed with the written law, not the one in the heart. Like in the law on circumcision, where the New Testament says we should circumcise the foreskins of our hearts.

    Writing about his country Türkiye, Nobel Prize-winning author Orhan Pamuk narrates, in his breathtaking novel The Museum of Innocence, the story of a young man who loses the love of a woman, and spends every evening in the family home where the girl lives with the husband. But he cannot marry her.

    Rather he steals little things from the home, like spoons, pens, pillows, and enough to furnish a full home. He has everything about the girl’s home but the bride herself.

     The girl is the soul of his quest, but he has everything that identifies with the girl but not the girl. That is why a constitution can say everything about us, but not say us, not encase our soul. We have to give soul to document. It cannot take it from us.

    Just as Awolowo said of IBB’s manoeuvres in his cynical quest for democracy, it is “a fruitless search.”

  • Jonathan’s bad luck

    Jonathan’s bad luck

    Some political losses are like death. To those who win, especially when the loser is a man in the top office of the land like Goodluck Jonathan, it is like a big iroko that crashes through a forest. No tree or leaf or bough is stout enough to repulse the thuds, hisses and howls of its fatal fall.

    The victors, the likes of Buhari and his APC, could have looked at Jonathan’s fall as “a magnificent death,” the same way Joseph Conrad penned an obituary, in his metaphoric story titled: Youth about the bonfire of a ship at sea. Hear the prose master: “A magnificent death had come like a grace, like a gift, like a reward to that old ship at the end of her laborious days.”

    If it was a reward for the victor, it was a sackcloth for Jonathan and his PDP. So, the clamour for his return is an effort at resurrection. We were all witnesses to the death and burial, and there has been none like it since the birth of this nation. Jonathan set a record for presidential failure as the first to go belly up in office. We saw Pastor Orubebe and his hysteria at the funeral hour. Jonathan consecrated his annulment in a concession telephone call to Buhari that went viral.

    The call for another Jonathan presidency reflects the four attitudes to a death: denial, rage, negotiation and acceptance. His people, and Jonathan even, have not reached the acceptance stage. They see Jonathan as the Prophet Joel who didn’t go belly up but must survive the biblical whale’s belly, the revenant politician. The thing about mourning is that when mourners have not reached the acceptance phase, they show denial, rage and negotiations, sometimes have the psychosis of witnessing all of them at the same time.

    We saw it in Bala Mohammed in his many spasms. We saw it in Jerry Gana, and his many shadowy advocates. We see it also in Jonathan, who cannot come out in one word to say he will or will not. He does not feel it is the end of his hope, and perhaps, his ambition still flickers in denial and does not agree with Shakespeare that “he that dies pays all debts.” He probably believes Nigerians owe him.

    Mourning in politics means a lot. You mourn a loss of prestige, the privilege of access, the contracts and perks, the new palaces here and abroad, the fattening wallets in dollars and pounds and Euros, the family flamboyance at shopping malls in Europe and North America, the social standing, the free tickets, the photo ops at high-profile events and with the high and mighty, the top perch at social parties, the small impunities over the lives of “lesser” beings, the village honour, the syrupy flatteries.

    Jonathan and his acolytes mourn these. So does the PDP that has been in disarray for some time. Some of those in the interloper party, The ADC, are now bored because they cannot get those perks. It is not about the people. It is the flattery and magnificence of high office.

    The Jonathan who became president and tugged at the popular conscience with his “I had no shoes” rhetoric was a different one who sought re-election. He was known as clueless, and this column called him famously as “his excellency the snake.” But he somehow believed that he would win again. A top politician told me recently about how many henchmen assured him the north was solid for him. He was too naïve to doubt. They told him he had Jigawa, Kano, Zamfara, and they did that to “collect”. And they did in spades. Hence his recent outburst about politicians who betray.

     He had that in mind. And they were the same order of men who sweetened him into disaster.

     They in the words of Shakespeare in Macbeth, flatterers of “yesterdays (who) have lighted fools the way to dusty death.” But Jonathan must be thinking about his chances, and the most challenging is not about getting a ticket, it is whether if he gets a ticket, it will not be in vain. 

    As Aviation Minister Festus Keyamo cautioned, the constitution has said you cannot be sworn in more than twice as president. It is booby trap.

    So, while he and his men may be mourning a death that occurred in 2015, he may be wary of a second death, apologies to the Book of revelations. But a second death is a revelation that comes as a prophecy he is wary of fulfilling.

    Jonathan has made himself to believe he is an African statesman, simply because he accepted in public that he did not win the polls, and waxed poetic about his ambition not worth the blood of innocent lives. It is the sort of meekness that brought him to power in “I had no shoes,” that also inspired his presidential epitaph that he did not want his ambition to equate the shedding of innocent blood.

    But politics is not for meek people. Ambition, as Shakespeare wrote, is made of “sterner stuff.”  Jonathan had good luck and it made him a president. It did not redound to good governance, good welfare, well-calibrated policies. In fact, the policies under his watch contributed to the distortions in the economy now under repair.

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    But what some are seeing as his second birth of good luck are the one-term opportunity for the South, and what some see as an economic situation that strains the poor. Another factor is their reliance on collective amnesia and some non-Yoruba in the South’s belief that, somehow, they can snatch it for one term.

    It is in this context that Peter Obi, ever the hustler, is now a homeless man seeking a shelter of opportunity.

    So, what we have are a few impediments for Jonathan. The biggest of them is the law. It forbids his ambition. Two, he may have to struggle for a party that will damn the law. The PDP does not seem to have goose pimples at his prospects except for a few self-serving carpet baggers who want to climb on his back and have, at least, a job to do until that scheme goes belly up again.

    Again, for a Jonathan that did not heal an economy but broke it, many businesses will remember how broke they were in his days. If a collective amnesia holds forth today, an election campaign can rip up the scab of his time. The ethnic factor, ever an unspoken part of the Jonathan proposal, may turn out to be a bad market because he will return to the dog whistles of tribe and faith that may turn him into the Obi sort of divisive candidacy that may not work again this time.

    So, what we may have is not Goodluck Jonathan of 2011, but a man of hard luck. It all seemed picture perfect for him.

     He did one term and he is the perfect man to complete it but the law says no. He could play messiah for an economy but his past says he failed. He cannot conjure tribe and faith or he will compete with Obi who did it and we know the result.

    So, what we have is Jonathan of bad luck in a time of opportunity. This leaves him and his acolytes to decide whether to accept his political obituary or return to the doomed cycle of denial, rage and negotiation, like Marieke Lucas Rijneveld’s award-winning novel, The Discomfort of Evening. The novel, written in a register of lugubrious innocence, tracks a family that finds it hard to live in acceptance of son’s death.

  • Remembering Gani again

    Remembering Gani again

    While many persons have penned tributes in memory of Chief Gani Fawehinmi, a few things still remain distinct for me. The first was his love for books, that many do not say much about. If he heard of any new book, of whatever subject, he would pick it up.

    For a man enamoured of politics, I was amazed to see books on poetry, drama and novels in his treasured cove. His library was massive. I recall when the chief conducted Femi Ojudu and I through shelf after shelf, a cornucopia of big minds aflare on his walls.

    So enthused were both of us that Ojudu promised to bury his next leave as a staff of Concord Press in between his book covers. I bought my copy of In a Free State by Nobel Prize-winning novelist V.S. Naipaul because it plopped into my eyes from the shelf.

    One day, I ambled into his office with a book I bought from “bend down bookstore,” previously owned by Olu Akaraogun. Immediately he saw it, he grinned in his boyish way and quipped, “That must be about the French Revolution.” He was right. It was a book about Reflections on the French Revolution by Edmund Burke.

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    The other thing was his fascination with dictators. He loved Kemal Ataturk, Joseph Stalin, et al. I challenged him once that Stalin lived for 20 million people to die. His riposte was an aplomb face, and then he said the Soviet leader needed such ruthlessness to build his massive mechanization project. Yet when the Soviet Union fell, he told me its parallel was coming for the IBB regime.

     He somehow managed to remain a closet authoritarian in public. He might not want an Ataturk for Nigeria, I think he might have favoured what political philosophers now call competitive authoritarianism that we now see in places like Turkey and Poland.

     He was IBB’s nemesis, and each January he would say, with sanguine mischief, “this government is going to fall this year. There is no doubt about that at all.”

    I recall his intimacy with Olu Onagoruwa, and how they met for banter and cackles in his house over fried goat meat called asun, and how they travelled together on weekends out of Lagos, Gani going farther to Ondo, while Onagoruwa held the brakes at Ijebu. Up till today, I muse over how the quest for a public good made a mincemeat to a storied friendship.

    But pray, how did a Gani go for a swim in a public place like the Sheraton Hotel? How can we say it was not where he ingested what eventually took his life with SSS always trailing him?