The Nation Newspaper

Category: Oyinkan Medubi

  • Virtually educated

    Virtually educated

    Oyinkan Medubi

    When the teacher and his or her students interact in the classroom, feedbacks allow the teacher to know just where the student is. It allows the teacher to know which student still needs to be told how to sit, cough, talk or sleep in class. This is what it means to be virtually educated

     

    WELL, thank heavens, our planet earth is opening its doors again to the exhilarating fresh air of the trees, shrubs and birds. Gradually, countries are making stabs at getting their economies back again into some kind of gear, even if it can function only at one-quarter of the level of my old car. I can also see that roads are changing their lanes from ‘deserted for animals’ to ‘peopled by humans’ again, which is good if you remove the word ‘stupid’ from the people, particularly when you see that most of them are not wearing their masks, nor, I suspect, are they washing their hands. Such unbecoming rebellion!

    I get the sense that many people just want to rebel against all these rules and throw away their masks and dip their hands in all the coronavirus containers they can reach. Many people felt that way before, and that led to some of the world’s most interesting outcomes. Well, there were the suffragette women of the early twentieth century. They rebelled and look where they are today. Women can vote and be voted for and they can even change themselves into men if they so desire! They have not only burnt the bra (you won’t see any old woman joining in that iconic behaviour), they are well on the way to burning the pots. As if they were not doing that already.

    Then, there was the one at Bastille in France when it was stormed, in Russia when Czarism was done away with, and the rat which is still refusing to be docile to the cat. That is why we now have Tom and Jerry, because that rat refuses to be teachable. But Jerry never gives up, to show that there is no simpler solution to rebellion than to persist in teaching. The song must go on then: wear the mask and wash the hand!

    There has been no such simple solution to the closed classroom yet, though there have been talks about it. Sometime ago, I heard the minister of education ask that tertiary institutions prepare themselves to deliver their lectures online. You know what that means, don’t you? It means teachers would simulate the classroom situation over the air to talk to students in order teach them, discipline them and make them grow. In other words, both teacher and student pretends that they are in a real-time, real-life situation, only that all of them are on the screen of the class, not on the floor of the class. They call this virtual education, I think.

    Honestly, I believe that this take-teaching-online directive means well, coming from an attempt to solve a clear and present problem, but I don’t know how well it can go because there are too many problems to eliminate. To start with, even the industrialised nations are very reluctant to enforce this kind of avant-garde solution carte-blanche on account of the myriads of challenges that need to be overcome. So, many are rather looking to how soon they can open the schools again and drawing up guidelines.

    To start with, that take-teaching-online directive is not a step to consider as an ad-hoc, spur-of-the-moment solution to a problem. It is a step that requires months, nay, years of planning in order to execute. That some institutions are already doing it is not sufficient justification for unburdening it on others. Those already on on-air teaching were built for that purpose from the start, so their orientation has been adjusted for that purpose from Ground Zero. Most other institutions were built for face-contact instructions where the student-teacher relationship can be forged and enhanced for greater learning experience. This cannot be changed overnight.

    To even change this face-contact situation at all, not only planning is required, much funds need to be committed. For a start, materials that will be used must be specified and readily available. This means that every student of the roughly millions plus population spread throughout the country must be planned for and adequately taken care of. These materials include direct and easy access to computers that can be justifiably called so. Same goes for other requirements. We need to bear in mind that not all students are equally endowed.

    More importantly, the infrastructural     decay in the society must be tackled. It is not enough to just throw the student into the pool of internet resources to take care of himself or herself. That will be creating an added and unnecessary anxiety for some students. For a teacher to have direct access to the student at a prescribed hour requires constant electricity, steady network connection and a good reception area. obviously, these require governmental resources and goodwill.

    The alternative is to eliminate face contact and rely on written materials for reading. This of course eliminates more than half of the learning experience. The greater part of education is presenting models – in theories, in behaviour, and of course in fashion. The first can be studied in books but take the last two away and you’ve got yourself a well written book with no education, a flower without its fragrance and a lettuce without its head. Shudder, shudder!

    Anyway, there is just too much social decay in the country to expect a reasonable amount of compliance on the part of anybody. As it is, we’re all just hanging on by our teeth in the matter of this law and order because everyone is doing what they like. The politicians are in their own country. The law keepers are keeping themselves only. The people have decided to see neither the politician, the law keeper nor even the law. Each in his own tent administers the law according to his wisdom or lack of it. The long and short of this is that it might be difficult to trust people with very simple instructions on air.

    There is no alternative to the gathering of humans. It infuses a spirit that enlivens into the individual and reminds him/her that there is a difference between man and machine, between interacting with man and interacting with machine, and between interacting with man over a machine.

    Most people agree that machines have diminished their interactions with others, and they are fast replacing humans in conversations. There are pictures of couples going to restaurants and, while waiting for their food, they chat with others on their phones rather than with their partners. So, what is one more avenue for the machine to display its power over men’s lives than by taking control of the classroom?

    However, the human spirit thrives better on interactions. Interaction allows people to rub their human minds together to bring out the best, the worst, the most powerful, the least powerful and the stupidest ideas in the human kingdom. It allows people to be human. So, when the teacher and his or her students interact in the classroom, feedbacks allow the teacher to know just where the student is. It allows the teacher to know which student still needs to be told how to sit, cough, talk or sleep in class. This is what it means to be virtually educated. Virtual education cannot do this.

    Virtual education might be possible in Nigeria’s higher institutions if the country would solve her problems first. Since this might take a while, I suggest rather that the country should draw up guidelines for reopening the schools. Such guidelines of course should ensure the safety of students, teachers and other workers. That, I think, is virtually within our reach.

  • How long does the earth have to live, do you know?

    How long does the earth have to live, do you know?

    By Oyinkan Medubi

    It takes some empty shelves in the stores for someone to realise that the world is dying. Don’t you just wish for the days when we lived on trees again?! Then we did not need stores or shelves, and the world was not endangered.

    Gradually, I see that the world is making ready to return to weirdness. Oh yes, things were abnormal before, now they are going to be worse. Before, we had things like kidnapping, armed robbery, corrupt officers, poverty, non-performing infrastructures, wobbly leadership, a dazed and desperately ignorant followership to worry about. Now add to all these, a coronavirus that has refused to go. So yes, we’re going to weirdness.

    You know how I know coronavirus is going nowhere? I never heard the word before, until the thing broke out that is, but my computer knew it, wonder of wonders. When I type the word in, the computer does not blush by drawing a red line under the word like it does to my favourite food, amala. See, it has done it again. We need to ask the computer what else it knows.

    From country to country now, people are making to ‘fire up the engines’ of their respective economies once again, to use the metaphor of the British PM. I agree; that metaphor tends to see the economies in terms of some giant factories bringing out the goodies. But then, is the world not one giant factory? Since this giant factory has been ‘shut down’, have things not gone out of sync?

    Take the availability of goods for instance. Since the coronavirus struck, the greatest fears of people have been coming to pass, such as not getting their favourite items to buy. Thanks to modern living with all its entrapments of technological advancements and fine, living-on-the-edge ways, people have developed attachments to specific brands of items. Well, those were the good old pre-corona days.

    For some of us, not just any soap would do since we got used to taking our bathes daily. Not just any toothpaste either since we moved from chewing sticks. And since we got used to sleeping on beds, not just any bedsheet either. Imagine, since we got used to wiping our behinds after our daily big jobs, only a specific brand of toilet paper would do. I tell you, the world has really moved on since our ancestors stopped living on trees.

    Post-corona, however, it’s a different picture. It has become a time when not just brands of items have disappeared from the shelves, even the items have altogether gone into extinction, some never to be seen again. It is a time when you just hope to get the item in any shape, size or colour to get to use.

    The other day, I made for a shop after about five weeks of heeding the stay-at-home order. The world felt strange again to my eyes. Not only were the cars no longer moving as fast as in the pre-corona days, people had this look of total helplessness in their eyes, at least the bit of them that I saw. I think people finally realised they don’t own the world. Anyway, the ones that were masked covered everything right up to their eyes. The ones that were not masked had on eyes that defied the entire world. Those were more in number.

    You remember what George Bernard Shaw said, ‘the reasonable man persists in adapting himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in adapting the world to himself; therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.’ It is therefore clear that if we are ever going to beat this thing, we have to depend on the unreasonable ones who refuse to wear masks or keep social distancing. They are the ones who have willingly offered themselves as sacrifices to the god of coronavirus to be infected and re-infected by the virus so that we can study their sturdy sinews under its devastating effects.

    As I was saying, I went a shopping the other day and I was astounded by the emptiness of the shelves that were normally filled to the brim with the stuff. The world, said someone viewing the same empty shelves, is coming to an end; it was inconceivable for shelves to be empty. Wonderful, I thought to myself, it takes some empty shelves in the stores for someone to realise that the world is dying. Don’t you just wish for the days when we lived on trees again! Then we did not need stores or shelves and the world was not endangered.

    Anyway, I thought the world coming to its end or dying could sometimes refer to the innumerable famines that nature sometimes visited on her beloved children, making them scrawny, emaciated and thin. Same thing, right? Never mind. I also took it to mean the innumerable wars that have turned the world into one huge battlefield littered with relics of war such as war rooms, war maps, dead soldiers, bloodied survivors, broken arms, legs, discarded armoured cars that did not save, etc.

    I honestly further took the world dying to mean the much talked about greenhouse effect the entire earth is suffering under right now, the melting arctic ice and the white polar bears of that region turning brown because Africa is now spreading her dusty harmattan haze around the world. I mean, have you felt the heat lately?

    No, say some. There are more tell-tale, end-time signs, particularly from this coronavirus. I have heard many theories and interpretations of these times in different terms and I must confess that the more I hear, the more befuddled I am. Honestly, I am surprised that people are talking about the end of the world now. I thought it began to end the day it began; you know much the same way an infant begins to inch towards its end the day it is born and people think it is growing. So, I think I’ll just stay with that lady. Her reading is more palpable.

    Anyway, here are the WHO people telling us that till that palpable end comes, or till the corona virus takes its bow and exits the world scene, the human race might have to learn to live with it. Reason? There does not appear to be an effective vaccine against it. In short, the world may be doomed to perpetual ill health, and the empty shelves have nothing to do with it. I think it just shows the futility of thinking that we own the world.

    I don’t know if you have ever witnessed a scene where someone goes to the doctor for an investigation. After hearing the bad news and the very bad news, the natural question most people ask is ‘how long have I got to live?’ In the same way, after viewing the empty shelves, the masked and unmasked figures walking our streets, the WHO reports, along with all the long standing problems of famines, wars and the earth heating up, the natural question we want to ask is, ‘how long has the earth got to live?’

    Perhaps, we can answer the question in one of two ways. The first option is to refine the many theories concerning the end-time, whether they be from conspiracies, the religions or from me. When we do, of course, we must imbue it with some credible personae, not the ones that use social media. Those sound to me like more viruses we should hide from by staying at home, perhaps in another lockdown. Our second option is to believe that indeed, we can get the engines fired up again in no time. Going by history, the world has soon bounced back from its many pandemics. This too should be no different. Now, as you bounce, take good care so you don’t trip over them theories.

  • Between freedom, coronavirus and money problems

    Between freedom, coronavirus and money problems

    Oyinkan Medubi

     

    We need to impose on ourselves the freedom of conscience in the pursuit of our daily bread. Remember, for our sword, we should wield our sanitizer …! On this one, we are on our own

     

    HONESTLY, judging by everything going on all around us, it would appear that the heavens have opened their full cans of spite against humanity. The numbers of the ill, dying and dead are still climbing all over the world. It appears anything that moves can catch it, even cockroaches. The countries are still befuddled on what to do exactly to stem these tides of bad news. People are so sick of the enforced lockdowns they are ready to throw things at their presidents. So, across the world, people are protesting and declaring that they want their freedom! Funny enough, no one ever thought of protesting against the coronavirus itself.

    There is no doubt that things have changed, and they are likely to go on changing even after the pandemic. For instance, many of us could formerly swear that if the weekend did not see them at one social function or the other, they would really die. So, come each weekend, they would kick their work things away and literally hit the music stands, gyrating their work-stressed bodies to deafening music. Then, come Monday and refreshed, these people would go in search of their discarded work items and sheepishly return to work.

    Well, that pattern’s been broken now, thanks to koro, the much better name for coronavirus. Since koro struck, these same people have surprisingly not died from not gyrating the weekend away. Rather, they have taken one look at the streets where koro still struts around like the lord of the manor, and have heeded their governor’s voice of wisdom to retreat inside. Actually, I believe I’m speaking for many of us when I say that that voice of wisdom did not come soon enough.

    Well, truth is, many have questioned whether that voice was so smart after all. They queried why the economy should have been locked down in totality at all in the first place when the people could have been taught to wear masks and do social distancing anyway, since that is where we are all still going to go, and let the economy run on. Many are saying, dear sirs and mas, that the price of this ‘slamming on the breaks’ of the country, to use the British PM’s own metaphor, might be too high to bear.

    What I know is that that same voice has spoken once again. It took one look at our itching feet (for the dances), yawning mouths (for food), empty pockets (for spending money) and declared that it was time for us to go out and confront the virus. It however added that we should do this well armed. It recommended that for our sword, we should wield our sanitizer; for our shield, we should wear our mask; and for our boots, we should wield social distancing! Can a people be more prepared, eh, eh?

    Today though, dear reader, like the coward I am, I am going to speak from both sides of the mouth, as usual. On the one hand, here we are, being released from the imprisonment. At last, we can get our bones, our blood and the economy running again. No more sitting at home biting our nails and watching our jobs and livelihood drain out through the pipes. So, yes, we are glad the gates have been opened for us to run outside again and play in the rain like little children.

    On the other hand, there are the dangers, which are real enough. The other day, I saw a few pictures making the rounds of the social media. They showed different crowds gathered in front of different banks in some of our cities, and they were astounding, the crowds that is, not the banks. I saw people clustered together in tight spaces that left practically no space between two people standing by each other. Indeed, people seemed to be exchanging breaths and love notes. I left the market crowds to my imagination.

    I do remember the guidelines pointing us in a different direction of behaviour though. I do seem to remember that the instructions included specifically wearing of mask by one and all, and the keeping of ‘social distance’. Translated, I took it to be a way of telling us indirectly that if we were wise, we would continue to stay at home. If we were foolish though, we could go out chasing money again. Most of us chose to go out chasing money. The result of that was the horror story I saw in those photographs.

    Honestly, I don’t know whether to laugh at us or cry for us like Argentina did for Evita. Seriously, people, religious houses have not been opened because of lack of crowd control. Yet banks and markets were undoing what weeks of lockdown did like they anticipated religious houses would do. I mean, just look at those pictures. In my mind, I picture that crowd like people who have gone to take a test and in two or three weeks, the result would be released. I do believe indeed, that in two or three weeks, we would see the result of this mass test that the Federal

    Government is conducting on us.

    However, I think I understand where they are coming from. The economy has taken a very big hit. Work has stopped, yet the mouth and the stomach are two confederate, unstoppable machines – they never take no for an answer. More importantly, the human being, like other animals, is just not meant for staying still. Just see how they have moved from cave man to stone age man to industry man to technology man and only God knows what they’ll do next. No, we’re like the ants; we never stop working even if it brings in nothing.

    So, all over the world, the people have now got the ants under their feet and they are screaming to be let out of their own home, like it was the greatest prison in the world. For many, it probably was because it gave them the greatest realities they did not want to know: themselves. They want their freedom. You know what? Nigerians got their freedom to roam, for now, but they are not using it wisely if we go by those photographs. In fact, I would go so far as to say they are using it abominably. People seem to have thrown good sense away.

    Henrik Ibsen, the nineteenth century Norwegian writer said, ‘you never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom…’ That is because freedom comes at a great cost: vigilance. You know what vigilance is, don’t you? It’s when robbers write a love note to tell you that they intend to come to your house and you make every preparation … to run away. That is not only vigilance, it is wisdom.

    Right now, the victory we seem to have won for our freedom is just that, a mirage, unless we treat it with caution. As Mark Twain, another nineteenth century, said, ‘… we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.’

    Obviously, freedom imposes its own limits. Prudence consists in respecting those limits. It is true that people need money but it is also true that they need to take precautions against this pandemic. It would be difficult for the government to police nearly two hundred million people to ensure they are wearing masks or keeping social distance; people have to police themselves. We need to impose on ourselves the freedom of conscience in the pursuit of our daily bread. Remember, for our sword, we should wield our sanitizer …! On this one, we are on our own.

     

  • May Day! (22)

    May Day! (22)

    Oyinkan Medubi

    The few people still working in Nigeria now are tax collectors, lawyers, armed robbers, kidnappers, assemblymen and women …. And they are happy on their jobs mainly because they are making others miserable.

    I am going to speak from many sides of my mouth today. The first May Day! article was written many years ago. Today, I am glad to be able to add a second installment, a tribute to all workers on Workers’ Day. I must warn you that in raising it to the power of two, it is doubly potent and even bitter, considering the many sides of my mouth involved.

    Jerome K. Jerome, the English writer said, ‘I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.’ Too true. I find I stare at my computer for hours before I can put in a word for you. Honest. When I read Oscar Wilde’s statement that ‘some people will do anything for money, including work’, I also nodded in agreement. Obviously, I am not one of those. For me, work is what I do to justify the air I take in. So, you see, me and them are not in the same category, like Fela Anikulapo-Kuti sang.

    However, as H. L. Mencken said, ‘I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.’ I think he means that, one, laying eggs is habitual for the hen – she can’t help it; two, there will be a hue and cry if she fails to produce those eggs; and three, her body will betray her were she to fail to produce. Am I not glad I’m not a hen right now!

    Today, dear reader, we are greeting all workers in the world, great or small, including the hens that lay the golden eggs. Oh yes, reader, golden eggs are now being laid in Nigeria. Just check the illegal golden fields in Zamfara or Ondo sates or other states where they are and you’ll know. Even some Chinese know about it; they caught some fellas there recently.

    You know what work is, don’t you? It’s that bit of labour you undertake in order to get something done so that something can enter your mouth as a result of something that you do so that something can… You get the drift, don’t you? Peter Dunne, an American humorist said, ‘Work is work if you’re paid to do it, and it is pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.’ The end result of work of course is productivity, which in turn attracts remunerations whether you’re paid or you pay.

    Don’t get me wrong. I love work. I love the pay-end of work, you know, the remunerations end. It’s the middle part of it that gives me problems, you know, that part that says ‘if you mix labour + sweat + rolling up your sleeves + getting off your bum, you might get results’ … yeah, well, that’s the part I don’t so much like. That’s the part that makes the hen cluck-snarl, ‘you think the egg just pops out? Come on!’

    For some reason, people do not seem to like their work. That reminds me of a joke about a man who was fed up with his work and decided to do something about it. So, he went to a bar and put his question in the air. ‘Is there anyone here who does not like his work?’ Everyone in the bar raised their hand, including the barman. ‘It’s called Everybody!’, they chorused to him. Abe Lincoln, the American president said, ‘My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it’. Like the hen, I do not like my work either but I do it.

    Today, we greet Nigerian workers. Unfortunately, Nigeria is one of the countries in the world with one of the most unsatisfactory work environments. Workers’ remunerations are so low they disappear too quickly into the market. The new minimum wage of N30,000 has just been signed into law but I’m not too sure how much comfort that will bring to many families considering many factors.

    To start with, there is inflation. Then there is the fact that this monthly minimum wage is going to struggle with the other maximum wages such as National Assembly men’s (and women’s) monthly wages of N39m in the same market. Do you seriously think this is a fair fight? There is something very seriously wrong with our wage system in Nigeria which allows this huge disparity. No economy can expect to grow if this stands. The average Nigerian worker is the end loser in this very unfair fight.

    Then, there is the matter of the worker’s security. The worker is not only not valued; he/she is practically unprotected. Very few workers in high-end-dangerous jobs such as electricity, mining, painting, drilling, food swallowing (that’s me), etc., are insured by their employers. Many work concerns are not bothered about the safety of their employees unless they are forcefully reminded. I suspect though that many Nigerians are too busy being content with the illegal monies they make from their jobs to truly appreciate their precarious positions.

    Altogether, the Nigerian worker has a bad deal from the government’s inability to regulate wages in line with the factors that determine work remuneration such as the nature of the work, the productivity, the power of the economy to carry burdens, or the quality of the worker. It does not make sense that elected officials in the land should get (not earn) as much as N39m for sitting for some days in the month while a worker exposed to the vagaries of life gets only a paltry sum. It is important that the economy be made to grow so that the burden of inflation can be less cumbersome on the worker.

    Having said that, I have a few bones to pick with Nigerian workers. If truth be told, many Nigerians no longer do their work. Period. Teachers do not teach as they should. Civil servants do not serve as they should. Engineers are not engineering our roads or bridges. Health workers are not doing enough. The few people still working in Nigeria now are tax collectors, lawyers, armed robbers, kidnappers, assemblymen and women …. And they are happy on their jobs mainly because they are making others miserable.

    When other Nigerians work, you can be sure it is because they are getting an illegal fee somewhere. No one really values their job again in this land. Yet, should those jobs be touched, heaven and hell will be turned over to get them back.

    Have you noticed the spike in insecurity again in some areas especially? Yeah, the kidnappers are back after a small hiatus. I think many of these kidnappers are under the illusion that seizing people and making their families buy them back, kind of like holding private slave auctions, is work. I think it is all a fallout of our political market economy: make money at the people’s expense, and live like … politicians. We have reached rock bottom all right.

    Work is that thing you do that brings in a legitimate income which enriches you. Illegal proceeds from our jobs do not count; neither do proceeds from kidnapping. Those never ever end well. It is the work experience that enriches and builds us. We should enjoy that more than the accruements from it. Don Herold, another American humorist said ‘Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow’. Honestly, I don’t know what he is talking about there, but, reader, we should know that work is the greatest thing that ennobles the soul. Legitimate work should be respected.

     

    • This article was first published 5th May, 2019.
  • Parental blues

    Parental blues

    Oyinkan Medubi

     

    Posing as the child’s ‘friend’ against the other parent’s move to discipline a child is … not only most unwise, it will be ultimately counterproductive for the child and the parents

     

    TODAY, again, dear reader, we trip the light fantastic. I’m determined that the coronavirus will not keep making me so sour, especially as it keeps bringing up at every turn the failures of governance in Nigeria’s history since independence. I mean, right now, it is easy for the western countries to make palliatives available to the people they govern because they know where everyone is and what they need. Not so in Nigeria; inherent and racially genetic dishonesty keeps us from having dependable statistics, planning and the ability to account for everybody, and even know what everyone needs! I ask you!

    Anyway, that is not what we want to talk about today. Today, our topic is parental blues. You know what that is, don’t you? It’s the feeling parents get when they wake up one day and realise that they come from planet Saturn, but their children come from planet Utope. It not only makes the said charges wiser than their parents, it is responsible for the lack of mutual understanding. One, they are not speaking the same language and two, Utope is not even in the Solar System. That is what makes the parents go around muttering to themselves, ‘how do I pluck this boy’s head out of a planet that does not exist?’

    Anyway, there is this video, which I hear is trending, in which a man is ‘slapping’ his son for failing his exams. The father, who resides in Africa, according to the story, had paid the equivalent of about eight million Naira to enable the fourteen-year-old child go to attend a school in the United States of America. The boy had proceeded to attend the school but had come back home with an excellent grade in Music only and fail grades in all other subjects. That is what made the father to see red, and the mother is said to have got it all on tape.

    There have been many calling for the head of the father. Indeed, I understand that there have been social retributions coming his way. His crime? It’s actually no more than for deigning to use the corporal punishment to make his son see the error of his ways. There have also been those calling for the head of the mother of the child for making public the recording of a private moment between a father and his son.

    Either way, there is something very wrong here which people are not seeing yet, and this is the disturbing fact that many parents have tended to replace good sense with good money. Otherwise, I think some sane voice should have helped these parents see that a fourteen-year-old still needed his parents around him, rather than being sent across the world just because there was money to sponsor the trip. No money can replace the voice of parents daily correcting, cajoling, reprimanding, calling, playing with, showing love or deciding that perhaps the child needs to be evaluated by experts to allay or confirm their fears.

    Then, every parent that is active in the life of a child must cooperate to raise that child. It is absolutely inconceivable that a fourteen-year-old cannot be disciplined by the father and the mother must report him to the world! That is sacrilege indeed. In doing that, the mother of the child took something that is sacred, the chastisement of a child, and made it sinful. The wrongness of it all is on her.

    That said, the question should still be examined. What is the place of corporal punishment in today’s world? It is no longer used officially in the western countries, but it is still alive and well in Africa because most African governments are mute on the subject. The argument is, however, contentious and we need to look at it together. The Holy Book says we should not spare the rod so that the child does not become spoilt. Now, listen to these two stories, will you?

    Once, in my childhood, I remember making an unauthorised visit of a few minutes to a friend who lived across the road from where we lived. Unfortunately, my dad returned home before I did and not finding me where he had asked me to sit, had waited for me to return, fuming. As soon as I did, I was not allowed to make two sentences in my defence before the slaps rained down. The moral of the slaps? I should sit down and read my books. Well, I sat down and nursed my aching cheeks and also read my books. On the day I reached the nadir of my career, I held the paper of success in my hand, and remembered that slap. Unfortunately, this time, my dad was not around to look at it with me. So I did the next best thing. I held it up for him to see from where he now resides and said, ‘here’s to the slap, Dad’. VIVA LA SLAP! To this day, though, I remember THE SLAP.

    Listen, you will notice in that little story that there are arguments for both sides. Come on, most children are apt to play away their lives unless pushed, prodded and motivated in the right direction by someone. Unfortunately, there are some parents who tend to be confused about their role in that wise. One parent begins to think that posing as the child’s ‘friend’ against the other parent’s discipline moves is a wise thing. This is not only most unwise, it will be ultimately counterproductive for the child and the parents, because when that happens, parents are not able to stand together in raising their family

    The thing is that most children are more intelligent than they are given credit for. They are especially adept at seeing between and through their parents, watching out for the weaknesses and strengths of both of them, studying them and writing everything down up there in their brains to use to manipulate the offending parent on a day to be decided by the child. So, the parent who thinks his or her child is too young to notice anything is really deceiving himself or herself.

    Before we decide whether or not corporal punishment is wrong, listen to the second story. In the western countries, corporeal punishment is no longer entertained and a child can easily call the police and report his parent for beating him. Those societies are dealing with some kind of youth disconnect as a result now.

    A policeman in a western society once answered a call from a little boy who complained that his mother had beaten him with her belt. When asked why, the single mother explained that she had only lightly swiped him for cutting school. The policeman turned an incredulous face to the child and asked if that was true. The child was now speechless. Then the man turned to the mother and asked her to do everything in her power to make sure he stayed in school. If the boy did not, she should call him and he would be ready to apply the belt on the child himself. The child sat up.

    No one answer fits all in this situation. It is the duty of every parent to make sure they get the attention of their children for the necessary lessons to prepare them for a good life. In doing that, parents should know that children must be loved, nurtured, cared for and taught that great privileges go hand-in-hand with great responsibilities. This means teaching them that there are consequences for all actions. If we remove the rod in doing these, then we must be ready to replace it with something else such as firmness, control and a disciplined life which serves as a good example, because nature hates a vacuum. Many great men of history never understood that lesson.

     

  • Time to be wise: Lessons from Covid-19

    Time to be wise: Lessons from Covid-19

    Oyinkan Medubi

    Many weeks into the coronavirus pandemic and already, many of us are tired. In fact, I heard someone say, come on, corona, win already, and let the whole world go. Actually, I have since found that if the whole world were going to go, many of us would prefer that it should be done at once, not in batches. The reason is that there will be some who will take umbrage to the fact that US might be wiped off first while Nigeria might be allowed to live for one more hour. I imagine Mr. Donald Trump will not like that. He would be likely to go, ‘What did the US do to you, Lord? Is it because of the gay thing? Nigeria is worse; it can’t even get its acts together! Why then would you give them one more hour to live?!’

    Seriously, since the pandemic began, I have listened to, and tried to imbibe, many directions. First, I was told to wash my hands as often as possible with soap and water. First, I didn’t think I could use spittle anyway, so I felt a little insulted that they would need to tell me to use water. You’ll be surprised what some people would use, I was told. Some consider sand handier, especially if they have lots more of it in their neighbourhood than water. Can you blame them?

    Then they said not to touch my face with my hands anymore. Did you hear of the little child who started crying when told that, because he said his face liked to be touched all the time. And, have you tried to scratch your nose with your elbow? I tried it once and not even rolling on the floor helped me to contort my body to the required position. In the event, the balance of nature was only restored when my hand was able to connect to my nose by the long route of tying a ruler to my hand which I tied to the … You don’t want to know.

    Did you know that knuckles exist for other things in your hand? Honestly, I always thought they existed only for making those cracking noises and knocking on the heads of stubborn little children. Since this pandemic, I have discovered the range of other things that knuckles can do: turn the lights on or off, test the temperature of the bathe water, wipe the tears off my face, scratch my brow, pick your teeth…  Granted, I’m still working on that last one, just as I’m also working on eating my amala with them. One day, not far into the distance, I’ll get it right.

    Yeah, they also said not to shake hands with others. Luckily, the few friends I have live very far away and so do not require hand shaking. All others around me can do with a nod. Then, I was told to sneeze or cough into my sleeves. A child asked, what if he wasn’t wearing sleeves? He was told to sneeze into the crook of his arm. No problem, said the armless man. It just remains for us to tell the cough that comes automatically when food goes down the wrong pipe to give you notice so that you can prepare your arm …

    Let’s see the range of other things I have learnt so far from this pandemic. Well, there is the fact that two people can be struck by the same disease but one may live and the other may die. We know that Mr. Johnson, PM of Great Britain, survived the virus attack. We say congratulations to the PM.

    However, a nurse in the ICU where the PM was on admission succumbed to the virus. Our commiserations go to the family as well as to the families of the many others who have likewise succumbed all over the world. These include the many doctors and health workers lost here, Italy, US, UK, etc. They have become martyrs.

    I am still locked in my laboratory trying to determine exactly what is behind this selection process where one lives and another bows the head to immortality. They talk of underlying diseases; or even resistance, but me, I have not been able to get past the God-factor. I am not giving up, though; science never gives up, whether it be on why the earth is still suspended in space in spite of man’s horrendous activities or why the sun has not burned us all up in spite of its own activities.

    Then, there is the one fact that made me very, very glad indeed, and that is that, when he was struck by the disease, Mr. Johnson was treated successfully in a public hospital not too far from where he lives, in his country. I thought that note-worthy, especially for our leaders who have nothing but utter disdain for their own country.

    This disdain is causing the gap between our public institutions and the private ones to get wider and wider by the day BECAUSE OF GOVERNMENT NEGLECT. When you walk into a public primary school, a public hospital, or look at public institutions like electricity or water, you would be ashamed to open your eyes because everything has been allowed to go to ruin. Yet, these schools or hospitals or public works serve more of the public than the private ones do.

    All these tell you a lot, don’t they: that the government has made a sham of its own life and is now ruining what is left of the people’s. Mr. Johnson was treated in a hospital in his own city but our president cannot be treated in a hospital in his own country! Indeed, when it was reported that the Secretary to the Federation said that he did not know that the national hospitals were so badly off, he forgot to say the government made it so. That is understandable. As a government functionary, he is entitled to have his headaches treated abroad. When shall we be wise?

    The plans of mice and men are filed away somewhere. Our public functionaries have sorely neglected our public institutions because they always believe they have a better alternative. It is time that they turned their attention inwards because those better alternatives might not always be accessible. Presently, many of them can no longer go abroad to get their blood pressure checked because of the corona thing. That should tell them something. The saying that, in an emergency, your neighbour may be closer to you than your brother, means that if you’re wise, you would treat your neighbour neighbourly. If you’re wise, you would take care of your environment.

    Even now, ASUU is fighting for good sense to be applied in the funding of Nigerian universities, and what does the government do? It cut off their salary, going to three months now. And all because ASUU wants the right thing to be done concerning public institutions. The irony is that the same government recognises that the people require palliatives because of the lockdown. Yet, it is denying a segment of that public their salary! What logic is this – Martian? When will we be wise and stop being so mean and wicked to each other?!

    It is time to open our eyes and learn, the government above all. Holding on to disdain for the public is most unbecoming of leadership. Unfortunately, that has been the rule of thumb for our functionaries since independence. It is time we learnt that when we respect the public, ultimately, we are respecting ourselves, leaders and followers alike. That would be something good to take out of this bad situation.

  • The shamelessness of arrogance

    The shamelessness of arrogance

    By Oyinkan Medubi

    Over the last few weeks, we have all been forced to watch, helpless, as coronavirus, the current known and virulent scourge, has taken over towns, cities, countries, nay the entire world. If that is not world domination, I’d like to know what is.

    The jokes have continued to flow from the factories and more importantly, the reactions have also been coming. Now, I think the WHO boss is eyeball to eyeball with the American President, Mr. Trump, over the politicisation of the world’s unfortunate situation. Come on, man, is he not a politician? Give him a break! What do you expect, that a tiger should change his tigritude?

    I mean, look at the Nigerian situation. Even in these direst of times, when no one knows who lives or dies, the tigritude must still show in us. I hear that the best chunk, about N700b, of the relief funds and materials being doled out by the government and good people of Nigeria to the poor, are not going to get to the poor because the treasury housing the relief funds was gutted by fire!

    They want us to believe this was an accident but, you know that saying: if it looks like a duck, sways like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it probably is a … This fiscal recklessness is obviously in our blood; it’s written in our DNA; it’s in our stars. We can’t help ourselves, and we’ve also lost it!

    Seriously, people, the whole world is literally fighting for its life now because this virus does not respect race, else it probably would have spared the Caucasians. It does not respect age either, else it probably would have spared the sagacity of old age or the rosiness of youth.

    It certainly has no respect for position, else the prime minister of Britain might have been able to stare the virus down when it called on 10, Downing Street.

    Man, this thing has no respect at all for knowledge, or else more than one hundred doctors would still be alive in Italy today. Yet, we Nigerians have no respect for it, something that has no respect for anyone. Are we tough or are we tough!

    Take the distribution of relief materials to help the disadvantaged during this enforced lockdown as an instance. Here we are, on the edge of a precipice as a world, when people are at their lowest ebb because of fear or lack, yet certain among us must still rob the poor to become rich.

    In other words, they still do not think that they had better be on the side of the almighty should the worst come to the worst, especially as corona does not really care whom it visits. I have posts of entire local governments being given only a few loaves of bread and grains of rice.

    This smacks to me of real arrogance. How dare they! How dare they think that I didn’t deserve a loaf of bread too and some grains of sand or rice!

    Seriously, I think the government could have done one better. In the first place, if the government meant well, it should have devised a more sophisticated method of getting relief to the poor and deserving.

    As it is now, neither the poor nor deserving got anything remotely resembling relief from their government, only lockdown.

    Listen, we run a very crooked system, devised no doubt by successive governments for periods like this. I believe it is a shame that this country cannot account for its citizens efficiently.

    We have no adequate statistics to help us know the distribution of everybody by age or social place or even need.

    As it is now, the government does not know exactly how many people to cater for in anything. This is why it keeps doing things without planning. Only blind men work that way.

    I keep telling this story and I will keep saying it for as long as I remember, so just pray I forget it quickly. When I had to reside in a foreign country for a period of time that exceeded three months, I was obliged by law to register myself in the town I was going to live in.

    That way, the government had its finger on the demographics of every town in the country. When I joined them, they knew that their water resources would be used by one more person; when I left them, they knew that their water resources would be used by one less person. That is how clear sighted men work.

    Most governments have good statistics of the people they govern. They know where the people live. That is called planning. For that matter, the people also know where the government lives so that they can chuck them out whenever they need to.

    More importantly, they respect them enough to know that should they ever call on them not to go out to forage for food, they would need to give them food.

    They will not however buy them loaves of bread. They would send them the cheque that’ll cover the price of the loaf. It shows respect. It shows seriousness. It also shows transparency. That is how clear sighted men govern.

    I think it is high time we began to think and work like people with a semblance of sense and sensibility. Throwing loaves of bread at citizens of one’s own country, no matter how poor or rich, is arrogant.

    It is worse when one remembers that it is the government that ordered these people not to go and forage for their day’s meal. It is demeaning, degrading and most disrespectful. It is arrogant.

    Worse, the people are imbibing this culture of arrogance. Take the story of how the virus is said to have entered Kwara State.

    According to the account, the gentleman medic who brought it to the state was said to have invited an acquaintance already said to have been stricken by the disease to come to the state from Lagos, where they already had a functioning isolation centre! I understand that medical doctor was a perfect gentleman in every way; I don’t know if we can still say that of him now.

    However, something made that professor medic commit that error of judgement. That something, ladies and gentlemen, was arrogance. Just as the government believes it can do anything it likes, people are now taking their cues from that.

    As long as they have the power and position, people now know they can do whatever they like. What else can propel a perfectly reasonable gentleman to do something so horrendous as to willingly expose the 3 million plus good people of Kwara State to the virus just to please one friend? People, he was merely mimicking the government’s own, shameless arrogance. It’s shameful; the government opened that door.

    And is the government looking back and apologising to the people? Not on your life. They are thickening the plot. Otherwise, how is it possible for the government treasury housing the ‘N700b relief funds’ get burnt and no other place?

    There is something seriously wrong here. It is either we have no idea what serious trouble we are in or we have truly, truly lost it. Actually, you have lost it when you have no idea what trouble you’re in.

    Our government functionaries need to do some real thinking. Throwing loaves of bread at people who are on the wrong side of the fence in this trying time because someone needs the rest of the money is not governing. It is arrogance that is wearing a hat, and it is shameless. Like I always say, history is waiting to judge everybody’s name.

     

  • Africa has nothing, but God will help her!

    Africa has nothing, but God will help her!

    Oyinkan Medubi

    Even now, there are no heroes driving the fight against this virus in Nigeria. In Africa generally, the people’s welfare is left, by the design of her leaders, in the hands of the Almighty. This is so entrenched in our thought system that we even have an expression for it: God will help us.

    We are still in the midst of the pandemic called COVID-19. We are still watching the entire world fight this invisible enemy. I know just how the world feels. I think Dr. Goodluck Jonathan went ahead of us there. Remember when Boko Haram first burst on the scene and everyone was mad at him for not immediately taking up his bow and arrow and hurling himself after them? Remember what he said? He said, and I quote, ‘How can you fight an enemy you can’t see?’ So, I thoroughly understand the frustration of the world right now as people grasp at straws and nibble at pin-head hopes and mutter, how can you fight an enemy you can’t see?

    I mean, here we are, spending perhaps the second or third week in home invasion. Oh yes, it’s the parents that are now invading their own homes and the privacy of their children. Well, when you remember that normally, the parents are out and the children are in, you will know that things are very unnatural indeed. Parents are now getting to know their children truly as the ogres they are. Next time they are told that their children did something, I don’t think they’ll be too quick to say ‘No, not my child’. They are now seeing firsthand how nimbly their children’s minds can turn chief to mischief, treat to mistreat and hang the cat on the line by the tail to dry. Children too are now getting to see that their parents are not the avatars they have taken them for; but are rather very generously endowed with innumerable stupidities and plenty of Achilles’ heels.

    Reason? Because we must all still cower in our various homes, with the curtains drawn, while Mr. Coronavirus walks the streets freely, hat at a jaunty angle. It is a little like the western cowboys’ stories, isn’t it? When the bad shooter comes into town, everyone shuts their doors and windows and lungs. No one must hear them breathe. Oh yes, you do sometimes get the unreasonable ones who insist on meeting the bad shooter at their peril.

    I have posts of such unreasonable people, who left their homes for no good reason, being chased around in order to corral them for their own good. One such had the police, mounted on motorcycles, chasing him round and round as he gave them the run around. In Nigeria, there were those being slapped, frog-jumped or had guns pointed at them by uniformed men, all in a bid to prevent them from wandering around.

    You know, I had always wondered why lawyers are richer than doctors. I mean, here are doctors who literally hold people’s lives in their hands and holding near-empty pockets. I once heard a doctor tell an argumentative fellow, ‘look, all I have to do is give you one injection, and you’ll sleep and not wake up again.’ All arguments ceased from that point. That power notwithstanding, when they treat a patient, the doctor’s fees are, by the nature of their accomplishments, negligible. Rather, they get all the blame when things go wrong.

    On the other hand, lawyers command outrageously high fees because they hold people’s freedom in their hands. That’s why it appears that many people cannot determine now which is worse, the coronavirus or the loss of their freedom. They are straining at the stay-at-home order so badly they don’t mind risking being frog-jumped, slapped or even shot at. Strangely though, I haven’t heard that anyone has taken the government to court for attempting to save his life by tampering with his/her freedom to roam. Hmmm!

    I am told that the fee commanded by lawyers’ is nothing compared to that commanded by footballers. I said, come on, people! I have a post where one notable doctor asked the government in irritation to rather ask the footballers that are paid hundreds of millions to come and treat coronavirus patients! But this was not in Nigeria. From talks in the western media, you would think that doctors/nurses/hospital workers were the real avatars! However, will this translate to better appreciation after coronavirus? I doubt it. Let all the dust settle and you’ll see what I mean. The rhetoric will automatically reset to default thinking: everyone was doing his/her job!

    One lesson most people have been claiming they have learnt so far is that life is in the hands of God. I mean, people always cite the fact that the health system in the western world – USA, UK, France, etc. – with all its sophistication and power, is presently unable to cope with the magnitude of the pandemic. Over the centuries, the west has carefully built up its monetary, political and health systems to a super efficient level.

    So confident was the west indeed, that when the virus first struck, the people were relaxed. Come on, the hospitals were there, the doctors were there, they were the best in the world, and so on. I was also confident for them. I thought, come on, all that President Trump needed to do when he sighted the virus was to have shouted, ‘What the hell?! Where is that almighty nuclear button?’ Now, look what has gone and happened: the coronavirus has made nonsense of everything: hospitals, doctors, nuclear buttons, in short, the entire armoury of the western world.

    Africa, on the other hand, has nothing – no health system (many people still depend on agbo, the traditional medicinal drink), no notable number of doctors (most of the trained ones have gone to the west) and no hospitals (many of the buildings are mere shells). It is not that we cannot have these good systems too; it is that we do not have the leaders who can deliver good changes.

    Even now, there are no heroes driving the fight against this virus in Nigeria. In Africa generally, the people’s welfare is left, by the design of her leaders, in the hands of the Almighty. This is so entrenched in our thought system that we even have an expression for it: God will help us. This is why we have no hospitals and other things.

    Imagine, I saw posts where fumigation was being done in different parts of the world. In Turkey, Italy, US, UK, and so on, the very streets were soaked in layers and layers of foam to kill the virus and all its offspring, should it think to procreate. In Nigeria, the story was different. A truck that looked suspicious like one used to evacuate stuff from the you-know-where was used, and with nothing significant coming out, just air that raised dust. It looked like it was done purposely for the media. God will help us.

    Things are so bad with Africa that everyone is afraid for her, should this coronavirus relocate here. There is another post in which some French doctors were said to have suggested that Africa should be the testing ground for a new coronavirus vaccine, whenever it is developed. Some people took umbrage at that but I am a lot more practical.

    These people know that Africa has no health system or any system. If the coronavirus were to find home here, it would be a massacre worse than Noah’s flood. Without adequate doctors, hospitals, nurses, drugs, masks, respirators, beds, and even agbo, every single African would be a sitting duck. Those doctors know better, and their suggestion might have more altruistic purposes than insulting ones. In other words, if they don’t look out for us, who will? Our leaders? Just saying. Like I always say, God must help us, one way or another.

  • Obviously, governance is not a game; it’s a job!

    Obviously, governance is not a game; it’s a job!

    Oyinkan Medubi

    When times like this strike, then you know the worth of a country. The worth of a country is in how well its structures and its citizens withstand a coming assault. The strength of the structures and its humanity attest to the culture of its leaders. Logically, therefore, the worth of a country is also the worth of its leaders.

    The world, with a population of eight billion people or so, is in ‘lockdown’ because of a tiny, weeny bit of a virus called coronavirus. Honestly, if we were not already holding our heads in pain from the effects of the virus, we should be holding our heads in shame as a group of homo sapiens. I think that if a spy team from an alien planet were sent to spy out planet earth right now for an attack, a la Hollywood films, I imagine their report home would go something like this: Send the troops; we can take them right now. They can’t fight; all of them are hiding in their houses from a virus!

    It is bizarre, isn’t it, that the entire social, political and economic system of an intelligent planet such as earth can be grounded by the activities of a simple enough virus because all the citizens of the planet are hiding in their houses. It’s that simple. Or is it not so simple? There have been theories, in fact, as many as there have been jokes. I can’t here repeat the jokes but please keep them coming. It shows at least that the world governments may have closed our work places and our streets, but they have not closed our minds or mouths.

    We cannot go into all the theories of the origin of this silent striker. I mean, how can we explain how on earth bats and snakes have somehow met to transfer their codes into each other and then managed somehow again to transfer it to man? I am not in the sciences, but I do know though that there had to have been some evil afoot for this thing to have happened. Something made it happen.

    I have heard for instance that the origin of this thing might not be dissimilar to the origin of the other plagues that have struck the world in times past. One theory connects all these plagues to the developments in technology, especially in telecommunications, the latest of which is the 5G wifi, whose centre is actually Wuhan in China! Well, I said, it’s a theory. Let someone go out and test it. The other theory thinks that our present travails can be linked to attempts by a group to impose a single economic system on the entire world for easier domination. Again, I said, it’s a theory. Let someone else go out and test it. Please report back to me, both of you.

    Right now though, America and China are busy accusing each other of being the cause of the virus. While Mr. Trump called it the ‘Chinese virus’, the Chinese leader said it was American soldiers who birthed it. My head is still moving between the two of them, trying to follow their words. From their accusatory discourse, I’m getting the feeling that this thing may not be as natural as it all seems. In fact, I’m beginning to think that even Ebola might not have occurred naturally. I mean, how naturally do bats and snakes meet to produce a progeny? Over dinner? Who invites the other?

    I’m beginning to get mixed signals concerning what to do or not to do. First, they tell me to make sure I wash my hands with an antibacterial soap, then they say any soap will do. Then they tell me to wear a mask, any mask. Then, they tell me actually the face mask we know can’t do a thing for me. I have to look for a special kind of mask. From planet earth that is on lockdown? Then they say that the virus is heat resistant, then they say it is not. Then they tell me… There is no end to the things I have been told about this virus, many of them contradicting the previous ‘they says’. As of now, the only thing that I seem to believe is that I should stay at home, not touch anything, talk to no one, greet no one and if a fly should as much as cross my gate, I should treat him as an enemy and not give him entrance. That way I avoid coronavirus, I stay alive, and I also stay hungry. In time, I guess, mummification will come.

    When times like this strike, then you know the worth of a country. The worth of a country is in how well its structures and its citizens withstand an assault. The strength of the structures and its humanity attest to the culture of its leaders. Logically, therefore, the worth of a country is also the worth of its leaders. Unfortunately, our hospitals are not worth anything the people cannot find solace there. Our economic system is not worth much either. Our political system is also not up to much. So, our leaders from independence are not worth much. Corona has revealed all.

    First the health system. Look at our hospitals – none of them is corona-ready. There are so many diseases waiting for the unwary in our hospitals, because of lack of funding, that, to add coronavirus to them is the unkindest cut of all. We also do not have the doctors. All our doctors have been sent abroad by Dr. Ngige who said they should go and earn foreign exchange. The ones who have not gone have been asked to go into tailoring by Dr. Adewole. Both of these gentlemen were or are minsters who obviously have not got it. America probably has the highest number of doctors and the cry is that they need more. Italy has lost about twenty of its doctors to coronavirus. Honestly, Dr. Ngige had better be on his knees now that this virus should be containable in Nigeria or else we would force him to #Bringbackourdoctors. Clearly, the worth of country is in the worth of its leaders.

    Look at the economic system too. Since this thing started and lockdown put in place, many countries have been asking themselves what their country can do for the people to cushion the effect of the lockdown. Nigeria is silent on that matter, yet effecting a lockdown. Majority of its citizens practice subsistence living, i.e., Maggi and salt economy. The government must step in for the people, not to talk of the self-employed, the small scale businesses, etc. Silence will not suffice.

    The only thing Africa, and Nigeria, has going for it is the interconnectedness of its people, this communal living thing. Even that, coronavirus is threatening. So, at the moment, we have nothing: no economy, no good health system, no leaders, not even each other. Coronavirus has finally shown our leaders what the people knew all along: that leadership is what matters most!

    The problem is that Nigerian leaders from independence have taken politics, and therefore governance, to be a game. So, the field has attracted the most unlikely, unimaginative, unqualified and unworthy players. Most of them have come into the field, done some empty running around, made some noise and played some abracadabra game and gone with the money. This will no longer do.

    Politics means agreeing to take on a serious job of building the nation. Nothing has been built by the state since independence. Most of what we have today have been by private effort with some desultory gestures by the government. This needs to change. This Maggi and salt economy must change. Our leaders must know that politics may be a game, governance is a job, a serious job. They need to tackle the matter of nation building to put structures in place that can withstand assaults. According to scientists, another corona may just be round the corner.

     

  • Coronavirus and how our wayward, wayward ways are catching up with us

    Coronavirus and how our wayward, wayward ways are catching up with us

    Oyinkan Medubi

    I have come to some horrible conclusions about life here on earth. One, it is unpredictable. One minute, you’re worrying about where your next meal will come from; the next you’re worrying about not succumbing to a disease like coronavirus, the origin of which you know nothing about, so that you can stay alive long enough to worry about where your next meal will come from. Another conclusion is that no matter how horrible that disease is, there will be people who will make jokes out of it. Such people are aliens of course pretending to be humans who have come to help us make light of our heavy situations. They come from Pluto, the planet of mirth. Right now, I don’t know whether to laugh at my countrymen’s jokes or cry at my country’s inability to prepare for its coming.

    So, I simply took solace in the fact that finally, our wayward, wayward ways are catching up with us. Great comfort, I think. And I say, about time too. Just look at us. Since independence, Nigerians have specialised in stealing public funds and stowing them where they think our filthy, censorious hands cannot reach: overseas. I have said it many times that if Nigerians did not have these foreign, developed countries to receive them and their loots, there would be less stealing of public funds. Well, what do you know? Some intrepid fellows in China have gone and shown us just how unwise we have been. Let’s look at the story.

    The enemy, Coronavirus, stole in among us poor earthlings while we slept and guess where it hit first: them developed countries. So now, it has been raised to the level of a pandemic because the whole world is literally gasping for breath as it battles to save its life.

    I have always said that many good virtues and other items have come from abroad; sadly, so have many vices that we know, such as corruption. Unfortunately, while we all seem to know what to do with the good things, we seem to be at a loss when the vices come. I mean, there are homes in Nigeria where you can seat your bum on Italian cushions, Arabian carpets, driving Japanese cars and motorcycles and electronics; with people walking along Korean walkways, eating American rice and British Jam. Naturally, everyone is holding Chinese phones. It’s the baddies that come now and then that throw us for a loop. We are literally at a loss; and show up our intelligence, or lack of it.

    Nigeria is supposed to be involved in the fight against Coronavirus, though you would hardly know it from watching things on the ground. While President Trump of America is practically briefing the nation nearly every hour on his thoughts and moves on the matter of combatting the deadly thing, our own president refuses to speak. We don’t know why.

    Secondly, while the whole world is literally hitting the panic button all over the place and just about running around and waving their arms all over their heads like panicked kittens, Nigerians appear to be sitting pretty at ceremonies, with nary a worry in sight. Even when the disease had been raised in status to a pandemic like a very important visitor, the country still refused to panic.

    Even at this new status of the disease, the reaction of Nigeria is still slightly baffling. There are none of those steps that convey anything close to PANIC, PEOPLE, PANIC! that I want to see or hear. I want moves that sound like bells clanging, world collapsing, raving madness that characterise this world-size emergency.

    Instead, what I am getting is this calm unpreparedness, unseriousness or unresourcefulness that is typical of us. Indeed, as the pandemic appears to be growing, so also is the size of our rump that the wind is exposing to the world. Only this morning did I hear that the federal government had shut all schools across the country. And I thought, only now? What about banning social gatherings – weddings, burial ceremonies, birthday parties in villages, towns and Dubai?

    Seriously, I have fears for my country where this coronavirus is concerned. I fear that Nigeria is playing with fire. Listen, America, with all her attention to details in all aspects of life – health, work, finance, etc. – is barely able to cope. For instance, there are reports there that most of the hospitals in the US have run short of materials to fight this scourge and are now gearing up its factories to roll up their sleeves. Now here’s Nigeria where we MAKE NOTHING and we’re faced with this huge problem. Worse, we HAVE NOTHING; no medicines, no doctors, no laboratories for tests! We have allowed our doctors to go out and earn foreign exchange or to go atailoring, as our ministers said they should! So, ministers, what do you recommend we do?

    I know. We could call on all our past leaders from the first republic to vomit up all the monies they have swallowed so that we can set up emergency factories to make the things that we will use in order that we might have a fighting chance on this coronavirus thing. Oh, I forgot; all our stolen funds are locked in foreign banks in Europe and America. Then, we should go get them finds. Oh, I forgot again. Many countries in Europe and the Americas are in lockdown! Many of them have shut their borders too. Ha!

    We have said again and again that it is most illogical to take one’s country’s money and lock it up in one’s private account abroad. You not only lock out the real owners of the money, you lock them out of the benefits of the money such as working in factories. By the laws of nature, it was only a matter of time when the thief would be locked out of that money too. Ladies and gentlemen, that day has come. Welcome to the new world order where something as insignificant as a virus can throw up a country’s stupidities and foolishness.

    This is why we have no public institutions to take care of the citizens. This is why we have no single reputable public hospital in this country that can rise to the occasion of this magnitude. This is why I really, really pity any big shot who makes the mistake of falling ill to coronavirus right now within the country. Why, there is no hospital in the land that can help him and all the countries housing his funds are in lockdown! Isn’t this nature’s ultimate joke? Now they would wish they had stashed their money in space. Yes, there’s a bank there, don’t you know?

    We have no idea how long we still have to go on this thing but certainly, there are lessons already to be learnt. Leaders, DO YOUR WORK; TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOUSE!!! By that, I mean your country, of course. This is what we have been telling our leaders all these decades. Now, Trump can call on his factories to speed up things on masks, medicines, solutions, etc. We can’t because we do not even have the factories.

    On CNN, a woman gave an account of her lockdown experience in Italy. She said hospitals are out of space; morgues are out of space; crematoriums are kept open all day; people are dying in hundreds each day, and sometimes dying alone. It is obvious that this thing is going to get worse before it gets worse. We would be ready, of course, but for our wayward, wayward ways.