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  • God’s ultimate desire for your family (3)

    By Faith Oyedepo

    Dear Reader, you are welcome to another edition of this teaching series for the month. I have shown you some of God’s desires for your marriage which entails purity and God’s provision of favour and abundance for your home. Today, I shall be exploring the topic: Marriage Is for Better Living.

    Marriage was instituted for better living for mankind. It is not to bring hurts or constitute a hindrance. If you want your home and marriage to exhibit a better living, God must be at the centre of your heart and home. You have to be open to His Words and follow His instructions.

    The Bible says: And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the Lord thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God (Deuteronomy 28:1-2).

    God made man with a desire to please and follow His will as obtainable from scriptures. Many people want to eat the fruit of a happy and glorious home, but not many are willing to be obedient to the terms of the covenant. Without obedience, the fruit of a good home cannot be obtained. The Bible says: If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: (Isaiah 1:19)

    A good home is a possibility, but only those who are ready to obey the terms of the covenant can have access to it. There are some obedient people that are presently eating the fruit of a good, fulfilled marriage. You too can join them if you wish; God is no respecter of persons. Marriage is meant to be sweet, enjoyable and failure-proof. However, to enjoy this, God must be at the centre of your home.

    Family life originated from the Lord, so He alone can give you the kind of experience He has ordained for you in marriage. Countless people are having a near death experience in their family today.

    Some have had many wives and are still dissatisfied. Others are separated, while some live a cat and mouse life, wishing that someone would deliver them from it. Success in marriage is not by luck, you have to programme yourself for the type of success you desire.

    As a born again child of God, enjoying a better family life is your birthright. It is God’s will and desire for you to enjoy an exciting marriage, home, life and family.

    So, apart from making God the centre of your family, you must also tell yourself continuously that family life is meant for better living and you must obtain this better living in your home. It is meant to build you and not break you. The Bible says: Two are better than one… (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

    Family life was created to help man and not hinder him; it is not meant to make life worse. If that is what you have been seeing in homes around you and may be yours, I declare to you that it is not what God desires for you. Whether you are a father, mother, husband, wife, child or relation, say boldly with sincerity from your heart that you are a help to others in the home.

    Marriage is meant to bring you satisfaction. You should liken yourself to a tree, which could serve several purposes such as being converted into paper, firewood, rubber and used to build a house etc. If you build your depth in marriage and profitably tap from the resources therein, you become a man and woman of many parts; useful in many areas of life.

    Don’t accept less than what God has purposed for you. Don’t allow the devil to cheat you into believing that a better family life and marriage are not for you to enjoy. Your family can still stand out; your situation can still change. The breath of life can still find its way into your family, if you will co-operate with God.

    Read Also: God’s ultimate desire for your family (2)

    One way to enjoy the better living ordained for your marriage is to discover your God-ordained place in the home and operate within your perimeter. As a wife/mother, God has placed you beside that man and those children, so you can help them.

    As a husband/father, God has placed you beside that woman and children, so you can help them, be an example to them and bring them up in the right way. It is not the teachers’ responsibility to train your children. Children, God put you in that family to be a blessing (Psalm 127:3).

    Are you a source of pleasure or pain to your family? If you are about getting married, are you ready to be a help to your mate? Or are you just looking for someone to service your needs? If you are not ready to be a helper, retrace your steps.

    To be a help transcends all areas of life. If one party is faltering, the other needs to lift him or her up. The Bible says: For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow… (Ecclesiastes 4:10).

    No matter how much your success, your connection or family members will also need to succeed. If you ignore their progress, you may eventually be faced with mending their failures. You are also meant to be a financial helper to your family.

    Money has divided many families. Don’t let it bring division into yours. Ensure that members of your family stand as helpers of one another in all aspects of life. However, being a helper comes with grace, which can be received when you are born again.

    To be born again means accepting Jesus as Lord and personal Saviour of your life. You can do this by saying this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s ultimate desire for your family (2)

    By Faith Oyedepo

     

    Dear Reader, you are welcome to the second series of this teaching. May the almighty God enrich you as you pay attention to His Word in Jesus’ name! I told you last week that God’s glorious desire for your marriage rides on the foundation of your purity.

    Keeping the marriage bed undefiled paves the way for a fulfilling marital experience, void of guilt and shame. Today, I will be looking at Divine favour, as God’s ultimate desire for you.

    A fulfilling marriage is a function of God’s favour.  Once your marriage is fashioned according to God’s Word, you procure His favour, which is often irreversible. The Bible says: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).

    God’s favour upon a man is what distinguishes him from others. Even men are compelled to favour whoever incurs the favour of God. This favour comes when your ways, including your marriage pleases God. The Bible says: When a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him (Proverbs 16:7).

    When you secure God’s favour, you progress and succeed effortlessly in life. Success in life and marriage is not a function of your smartness or connections, but a function of God’s favour, because the Bible says: The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and he hath set the world upon them(1 Samuel 2:7-8).

    The favour of God elevates you to greater heights that qualify you to be envied by men. When you walk hand-in-hand with your spouse, people see the glory of God upon you; which brings honour and opening of great doors of opportunities. Singles will desire your type of marriage, because of the good hand of the Lord upon your marriage. God’s favour also secures for you liftings and promotions, which also affect your financial and material prosperity.

    God created marriage to give man an easy access to His favour, so that he can live a sweatless life. This shall be your portion, in Jesus’ Name!

    Marriage generally gives you a sense of accomplishment. It is your passage from one phase of life to another; it is a step towards your desired glorious future. Every young man or woman has a dream or vision of the kind of home he or she would like to have.

    No one envisions troubles or divorce for him or herself. Everyone dreams of a joyful, peaceful and fruitful home. God created marriage for the fulfilment of these dreams and aspirations. You will not be disappointed in Jesus’ Name!

    One of the blessings that God’s favour secures for you is abundance. The first family that ever existed was born into abundance. The Bible says: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat (Genesis 1:28-29).

    Abundance talks of surplus, prosperity, plenty, increase etc. The Lord’s desire for your home is abundance. Prosperity is meant to be your portion not only in your office, Church, or with friends, but most especially in your home.

    God has said concerning your home that it shall be: … a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58:11). This means you will not be short of provisions at home both spiritually and physically. It is written: And thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens (Proverbs 27:27).

    God has not changed His mind concerning you. He wants your home not only to reflect increase, blessing and joy but to reflect holiness, righteousness, grace and peace.  Both sides of the coin are necessary; you can’t have one side without the other. You can’t desire the Lord’s prosperity and increase in your home and reject His holiness and righteousness.

    Read Also: God’s ultimate desire for your family (1)

     

    Abraham, the father of faith, enjoyed abundance and: …was VERY RICH in cattle, in silver and in gold (Genesis 13:2 Emphasis mine). But how did the Lord bless Abraham?  Did he just wake up one day and saw riches, cattle, men and maid servants, etc.?  No!  The Lord was able to bless Abraham and his household because he fulfilled a major requirement (Genesis 18:17-19).

    The Lord’s will and desire is to see you and your household swim in abundance but are you willing to fulfil the requirements? God can’t afford to bless some men financially because they just use the money to acquire more wives and begin to do things that cause their household to turn from God.

    It was Abraham’s diligence in commanding his children (household) in God’s ways that secured abundance for him and generations after. He was not only an example of what the Lord required. God was able to say, “I know him.

    He will make sure everyone follows his example. In your home, can you boldly say others can follow your lifestyle?  Can they look at how you live and see God’s glory, holiness and commendation?  If you can’t answer this questions positively then something is wrong somewhere.

    You need to follow the instructions you have heard God speak concerning your home, family, marriage, parents before you can see His promises come to pass in your life.  For almost every instruction God gives, there is a reward because for almost every reward or promise of God there is a responsibility.

    Abundance in your family is God’s desire for you.  However, it must be accompanied by a God-fearing lifestyle for not only you but your family. The first step to abundance is God’s presence in your heart and home. Make this your decision today by saying this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • God’s ultimate desire for your family (1)

    By Faith Oyedepo

     

    Dear Reader, special New Year greetings to you! It is my prayer that pleasant surprises begin to spring forth in your life and endeavours.

    This year, your marriage, career and family will receive new wine from above that will terminate every form of anxiety! Throughout this series for the month, I shall be exploring the topic: God’s Ultimate Desire for Your Family. However, in this edition, I will be dwelling on: Keeping Yourself Pure.

    God is specially interested in your marriage and family. He has made everything available for you to enjoy, including a successful home (1 Timothy 6:17).

    It is God’s desire that His children have the best on earth and in life. God desires your marriage to be peaceful and fulfilling.

    But, God’s intent for your marriage can only be actualised when you keep yourself pure. Purity entails a state of not being contaminated with anything that pollutes you spirit, soul and body.

    To be pure means to be without evil or sin. The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled… (Hebrews 13:4). The word ‘undefiled’ there simply means kept pure. You must, therefore, ensure that you keep the marriage bed pure to enjoy the honour in marriage.

    You may ask, how possible can this be? You must understand that if this was impossible, God won’t tell you to do it. Purity is not restricted to an age grade or gender or a specific period of time.

    It is required that every child of God walk in purity at all times. As the Bible says: The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good (Proverbs 15:3).

    As singles, to enjoy honour in your marriage, you must lay a good foundation for it by keeping yourself pure. Parents, begin to train your children against pre-marital sex.

    It does not matter whether it is acceptable in the society or not.  If you say, well, God will forgive me after doing it, what about the scar? Remember the Bible says: What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? (Romans 6:1)

    The truth is: Sex is the seal of the marriage covenant. Any sexual relationship engaged in outside marriage, breaks the seal and attracts God’s punishment.

    Therefore, you must never get yourself involved in it. However, if you have already defiled the bed, God is always merciful and faithful to forgive if you ask Him sincerely (Psalm 86:5; 1 John 1:9).

    Many people get emotionally distorted when they defile the marriage bed to the extent that it disturbs their marital life.

    You can save your marriage from torments by keeping your life pure. When you defile the marriage bed, you are behaving like a beast and whatever happens to a beast can happen to you at any time.

    Therefore, you must make a change in the right direction in the name of Jesus Christ!

    Give no room to the devil if your soul is actually precious to you.  When you get into defiling the marriage bed, whether you are single or married, it is because your soul is not precious to you.

    God made man with certain physiological and emotional needs and marriage provides the best fulfilment for them. Physiologically, man needs sex.

    It is part of his physical nature, and the satisfaction of that urge is permitted only within the parameters of marriage. God honours the physical union of a man and his wife by ensuring that they find fulfilment in each other.

    This is why He frowns at adultery and fornication. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

    This is not to say that young men and women should rush into marriage just for the sole aim of satisfying their sexual urge. That would make them nothing but bedmates.

    The love and excitement in such a relationship never last and that is not God’s plan or purpose for marriage. As a single man or lady, you are expected to control your urge until you locate a suitable partner with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life with and are legally married to.

    Read Also: God’s ultimate desire for your family (2)

     

    The truth is: if you cannot tame your sexual drive while single, you probably will not be able to exercise control even when you are married. Flaunting God’s purpose in this area of marriage can be very costly to your home and destiny. Therefore, don’t do it!

    Refuse to fall victim, if you truly value your glorious destiny. Don’t say you want to earn yourself a living by whoremongering because God will judge those who do that. Stop it!  Don’t wait for the fire of God to come upon you, plead for His mercy, call upon Him now that He is ready to hear you.

    The Bible says: I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1). In other words, the presentation of your body unto the Almighty God as a living sacrifice is your reasonable service unto God.

    Any service done unto God without your body being a living sacrifice is not acceptable.  It does not matter what you do and the volume of money you give in church every day.

    If your body is not kept pure, that service is not acceptable unto God.  Whether single or married, illicit sexual affairs render your service to God un-rewardable and will deprive you of enjoying the honour He has destined for you in marriage.

    God is much more interested in your person than your money or what you can do.  When your person is acceptable unto God, then your service will become acceptable.

    Receive grace to practice the Word of God so that you can truly enjoy the honour destined for you in marriage in Jesus’ name!

    If you are not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • Setting a solid foundation for your home (4)

    With Pastor Faith Oyedepo

     

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to the last segment of this teaching for the month. I believe the previous teachings have not only been a blessing to you, but to your family as well.

    It is my prayer that your spiritual life will be engraced to be more effective and you will gain more command by this, in Jesus’ name!

    A successful marriage requires commitment to one’s spouse. No amount of prayer, fasting, and “sleeping” in church can take the place of commitment in marriage.

    Marriage is not a temporary arrangement, but a lifelong commitment.  If this is true, you may wonder why the divorce rate is so high, even among Christians.  The reason is that many couples are not committed to each other.

    Commitment is the framework on which a marriage is built. A man and his wife must, therefore, be totally committed to each other spiritually, physically, emotionally and otherwise, and this will in turn bring security.

    A successful marriage must be exclusive, involving one man and one woman, in one lifetime relationship. Each spouse must be committed to “forsake all others”.

    The home, like any other organisation needs to be managed. It has to be ruled and its affairs controlled and directed in order to find fulfilment and joy in it.

    A glorious home is not a product of wishes, fasting or prayer. It is only attained by operating in the wisdom of the most High God.

    It is not enough to build one; it has to be sustained and maintained also. This week, I will be teaching on the missing link between couples.

    Time Investment

    Many couples have time for themselves within the first few weeks of marriage and afterwards never do. This becomes even worse when they start having children in the family.

    This is the reason many marriages that start off so sweetly fail, as a couples who think they know each other find out that they really don’t.

    Investing time with your spouse will help build trust, confidence, peace, knowledge and a better understanding in your relationship. It will help you know each other better.

    The true nature of man appreciates being noticed because man is a living thing. There is nothing as hurting as when one party is neglected in a marriage.

    Many men just see their wives as a good cook, cleaner, mother of their children and keeper of the home and nothing more.

    This is so, because time has not been invested to know who their wives really are. 1 Peter 3:7 admonishes: Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them (wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

    Every man should invest time enough to be knowledgeable about his wife.  You must spend quality time with your wife so much that you know her taste for things like toiletries, wears, colours and her likes and dislikes.

    The woman, on the other hand, should invest quality time enough to know her husband’s taste for things too.  You must be concerned about his well-being at work, business or career, his success and professional accomplishments.

    Usually, while a man craves respect from his wife first and then others, the woman’s self-worth is in place when she is loved and appreciated, first by her husband and then others.

    Secondly, time must be invested on children to meet their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  A child is a gift from God, a blessing to the family and a unique blend of husband and wife (Psalm 127:3).

    This is why time must be created for them too.  This will build love, security and trust. The best environment to raise a child is at home and as parents, God mandates us to fulfil this task.

    Once you learn to order your priorities aright, you will find that the time invested in meeting their needs will not be in vain.

    The time invested in building a solid foundation for those children is not wasted. Even when they leave home and are in a place where you cannot see them physically, the knowledge of what they have been taught becomes a guide.

    Invest with them regular time such as play time, homework and assignment time; be available to answer their questions and teach them to seek after the Word of God.

    Wife, if your husband is the busy type, use the wisdom of God to get him to create time for the children.  Time is a very important thing you should invest on your children, not money.

    Read Also: Setting a solid foundation for your home 4

    For instance, there was a time when our children would come to me with questions that I felt their father should hear and be the one to answer.

    I would walk them to his study door and leave them to go in and meet him. Afterwards, they would come back excited and smiling, having had their questions answered.

    In time, they could confidently go to him and any time they entered his study, he would set them at ease by asking, “How was school today? What did you do at break-time?  Did you eat your school lunch?”  This type of intimacy and open communication was very useful for their emotional stability.

    Finally, time should be invested for your parents, relations and in-laws but this should be done with wisdom.

    The following are the things men and women would like to find in a spouse:

    What a woman wants in a husband

    • Someone who will spend time with her and talk with her.
    • Someone who will be tender with her.
    • Someone who will be her spiritual leader.
    • Someone who will be a good father to her children.
    • Someone who will be a good provider.

    What a man wants in a wife

    • Someone he can have fun with!
    • An interesting and exciting sex partner.
    • A good homemaker, and a good mother to his children.
    • A financially responsible partner.
    • A wife who will respect and admire him.

    Grace to hear and do these becomes available when you accept Jesus Christ and become born again. If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are born again and now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily; obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Setting a solid foundation for your home (3)

    By Pastor Faith Oyedepo

     

    Dear reader,  I welcome you to this exciting moment in God’s presence, in Jesus’ name! Throughout this month, I have been looking at how to set a solid foundation for your home, and this week I will be examining communication as the key to a successful home. This study will centre on the effects of Communication Breakdown in Marriage.

    We understand that to have a successful marriage, you have to make yourself an expert in communication by trying to understand what your partner is saying on a simple level, as well as trying to analyse the underlying message or desire.

    If you don’t have a healthy way of expressing your thoughts and emotions to each other, of speaking and being heard, then everything else will ultimately crumble.

    What is Communication?

    Communication is said to be the art of passing across information. Until you successfully pass a message or thought across to someone else, you cannot be said to have communicated effectively.

    Communication in marriage involves more than passing across a feeling, thought, message or desire. It also involves how a thing is said and when it is said. In marriage, the word “communication” is broken down to “communion”, which means, sharing of thoughts and feelings.

    It also means to speak together as close friends. Communication can be said to be the “mortar” that cements the marital relationship. It is the key to a successful marriage.

    A wise man once said, “If you talk together, you stay together”, and I believe this is true.  It is important for you to know that marriage is all about living together.

     

    What then are the Principles for effective communication?

    Talking and listening

    Learning to have an effective communication in marriage is one of the most important aspects of marriage that a couple must work on. Being able to express oneself in the small areas will lead to open discussion in the big areas as well. If you want something, you need to say it.

    One of the most difficult problems when a couple is very busy is finding the time to talk. Communication takes a significant amount of time.

    Husbands and wives should make a habit of talking about things that matter to them. This will involve time, but such time spent is never a waste, but an investment. Such time helps in developing a personal relationship with each other, which in turn brings about harmony.

    Someone once said, “A good communicator is always a good listener.” In essence, a good communicator is not one who talks all the time, but one who knows when to talk and when to listen.  There is a time for everything, says the Preacher in Ecclesiastes 3:1.

     Can you imagine how frustrating it will be for you to receive a phone call from a friend, who spends twenty minutes talking and never allowing you to say a word? You may listen politely the first time, but certainly not the next time.

    When next he or she calls, you will definitely not be keen to pick up the phone. For communication to be effective, when one person is talking, the other should listen. The Word of God says: Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19).

    From this scripture, it means that you should listen more than you talk! Someone has said this is the reason why God gave man two ears, but only one mouth! One person should not be the only one talking throughout.

    No matter your temperament, never monopolize a discussion; give room to your spouse or other family members present as well to air their opinion. If your partner is an introvert and you are an extrovert, be patient enough to allow him time to talk and wait for him to finish before you respond.

    This requires discipline.  Good lovers are usually good listeners! Learn to listen. Perhaps the most essential quality for good communication in any relationship, and particularly in a marriage, is to be a good listener.

    The same principle works when you are handling difficulties or resolving differences.  Both of you should speak in turns, one at a time.  You should allow your spouse to finish speaking before you talk.

    Both of you should not be found talking at the same time; before you know it, you will be pointing at each other, and the one with larger muscles begins to warm up for a final showdown.

    God is a God of order, and everything ought to be done decently and in order!

    Openness

    There is a need to be free to discuss everything about yourself with your spouse. There should be no hide-and-seek game. No one keeps secrets from himself.

    It is not possible for the toe to hurt without the brain knowing; they are both members of one body. Similarly, God expects that when two become one in holy wedlock, nothing should be kept as secret between them.  Both must be open to one another and walk in sincerity.

    Read Also: Setting a solid foundation for your home (2)

     

    When a man takes a woman as a wife, the Bible declares that in God’s eyes, they are one flesh.  The Word of God says: …He that loveth his wife loveth himself (Ephesians 5:28).

    The devil often leads people into thinking that if they open up completely, they may never be accepted for whom they are or that when their spouses hear the whole truth about an issue, they won’t love them anymore. But this is a lie. The Word of God says: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25).

    If in the beginning, the man and his wife were naked but did not experience shame, then it follows that if you apply the same principle of openness in your marriage, shame will not be your portion!

    Faithfulness

    You must be faithful to your spouse in keeping secrets concerning everything he tells you. The Word of God says: A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent (Proverbs 28:20).

    Trust

    You must try as much as possible to believe in your spouse. Always keep secrets that he or she tells you and tell him or her the truth about yourself.

    However, effective communication begins with God. To have effective communication with God, you must first of all be born again. If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are born again and now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily; obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

     

  • Setting a solid foundation for your home

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to this teaching, in Jesus’ name! The quality of success you will ever achieve in any given venture hinges on the quality of the foundation you lay. You cannot enjoy a glorious marital life without paying attention to the foundation you build for your marriage. Last week, I taught on what a solid marital foundation is and that for your marriage to last, it must be founded on God. In this edition, I will be looking at understanding your spouse as one of the foundations for a solid union.

    As male and female partners in marriage, we must understand and appreciate the peculiarities which make up our personalities. Your understanding of your spouse is very important in becoming a good partner.  For you to have a stable home, you need to understand your husband or wife. You must get to know that everything about your spouse is unique. There are no two people on planet earth that are exactly the same. You are unique and peculiar; your spouse and children are equally unique and peculiar, fashioned to fit a particular purpose.  You are not a carbon-copy of anyone; you are an original and so is your spouse.  You and your spouse are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139:14). You must understand your spouse if you must enjoy a stable family.  Understand his or her background, his or her likes and dislikes, what makes him or her happy and what affects his or her mood.

    For those who are yet to be married, before you say, “Yes I do’ to any man or lady on the altar, ask yourself, “How much of him or her do I really know?”  Someone met me some years back, who had only been married for three months and both of them were already so fed up that they were ready for divorce.  I asked a simple question, “How much of your spouse did you know before you got married?” I was amazed at the next-to-nothing knowledge of the spouse this person had. No wonder in three months, their marriage had technically broken down. If not for divine intervention, that would have ended their marriage with all of its consequent effects.

    Every man should be knowledgeable about his wife and the wife about her husband. Know your likes and dislikes, preferences, choices, etc. It is common knowledge that men and women do not have the same needs. A man derives his self-worth from a sense of respect, recognition and reputation, while a woman wants to be appreciated, loved and praised. Failure to know how to satisfy each other’s needs might be a problem to your relationship.

    To enhance the understanding of your spouse, two things must be in place:

    1. You must be sensitive: Never walk around with your eyes closed. Your mind is a sound mind; be sensitive.
    2. Communicate effectively: Communication is the life of any relationship. Learn to communicate effectively with your spouse and when you know how to do this, it will help you understand who your spouse is. You need to ask questions. The disciples of Jesus were around Him; they didn’t only listen to His teachings. Whatever they didn’t understand they always asked and Jesus never told them to “shut up”, He always answered their questions.  So, rather than assume to understand what your spouse is saying, ask questions such as, “How about this area? How about that area of your life?”  Communicate so you can have a better understanding.  And when communication is effective, you will become a good spouse.  Understanding is required to have an outstanding marriage.

    Wisdom – The Principal Thing

    Wisdom is the principal tool for securing peace in the home. The Bible says: Wisdom is the principal thing… (Proverbs 4:7). Both the man and the woman in the home need to constantly ask God for wisdom in handling the day-to-day affairs of the home. Most times, what people call affliction in their home is nothing but ignorance. The treatments for ignorance are wisdom and understanding which enhance peace in the home.  In fact, the Bible says: Through wisdom is an house builded, and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3). Also, James 1:5 says: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and unbraided not, and it shall be given him. Wisdom tells you when to talk, when to keep quiet, what to say and the right time to say it, where to go and at what time.  Do you know it is possible to say the right thing but at the wrong time and thereby jeopardizing the peace in the home? I pray for a fresh baptism of the wisdom of God upon your life today, in Jesus’ name!

    Compliment Your Spouse

    One other way to nurture your relationship is by an often neglected key, and that is compliment. Every human being loves to be praised either for what he/she has done or simply for who he/she is. However, the key is to locate the good qualities in your spouse and focus on it. Then express your appreciation for those good qualities by the words of your mouth. Learn to show appreciation for both small and great acts of kindness. You can also show appreciation by giving little gifts. Make room for praise in your home. Praise God always and compliment your husband or wife and your marriage will be a heaven on earth!

    In all, you must understand that you need Jesus to achieve anything worthwhile in your home. If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are born again and now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily; obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Nurturing your relationship (3)

    Dear reader, I thank for God for another  opportunity to write you from the plat form. It is my prayer that you will be abundantly blessed today. I know you have been blessed with the previous teachings. Two weeks ago, I began teaching on the subject, ‘Nurturing Your Relationship’. The first week, we examined what relationship is all about and one of the factors that can help you to nurture and grow your relationship, which took us to the subject of commitment.

    Today, we shall equally be looking at another powerful factor that can help you to nurture and grow your relationship as a married man. This article will teach you the qualities you need to possess for you to be a man of your wife’ s dream. You want to know what qualities your wife expects from you? ‘Be the Man of Her Dreams!

    Before marriage, many women lay out the kind of qualities they want their future husbands to possess. In this section I want us to look at the typical characteristics of a “dream” man.

    He is loving

    This ‘dream man’ is loving. Following the example of Christ and the Church, this man does not wait for his wife to be perfect before he loves her. He is steadfast in his demonstration of love for his wife, believing that love is not love until it is expressed. He hugs, touches, buys her gifts and generally is caring and goes to great lengths to convince his family of his love.

    In expressing his love, he consciously ignores the negative and unattractive things about the members of his family. He thinks no evil of them. He calls his wife a virtuous woman and so motivates her to live up to his expectations. He calls his children gifted and intelligent children but disciplines them in love when necessary.

    He is Caring

    The typical dream man must be caring. He must be concerned at all times about the welfare of members of his family. He cherishes, nourishes and ravishes his family members with care. He makes time to be with them and is always there when he is needed; he is not too busy to listen to them.

    He is a Worker

    Every woman’s dream man is a worker! He is one with working hands not collecting hands. He doesn’t collect foodstuff from his mother, money from his father, clothing’s from his uncle. He does something productive to sustain his family.

    “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel”1 Timothy 5:8.

    He is a Provider

    In providing for his family, the dream man puts his total trust in God, not his salary (Psalm 62:5). He recognizes that he has absolute covenant responsibility to provide for the needs of his family and does so with delight. Like my husband would humorously say, “God is Jehovah Jireh, while the man is ‘Home Jireh.’ Jehovah is the Almighty provider, the family man is the home provider” he does not send his wife begging for what to eat, wear or drink.

    He is a Giver

    This dream man recognizes the importance of Kingdom investment and the hidden covenants of blessings (being a blessing to one’s parents). He diligently invests in the Kingdom of God and is liberal to members of his extended family. In addition, he gives to those in need.

    He is an Intercessor

    Like Jesus who is presently praying for the church, this dream man invests time praying for his family. He recognizes that prayer is the means by which the power of God is released to the believer so he faithfully prays for them.

    He does not find it hard to say, “I am Sorry”

    Some men find it hard to say, “I am sorry, please forgive me,” because of their ego. But, the dream man does not let his ego stand between him and his wife or children. Man, don’t give room to the devil to bring problems to your home. Learn to say “I am sorry” when you offend your wife. It works! If you do that, eyeball-to-eyeball, you will see her countenance change! You will make it!

    For you to be able to possess good qualities that will make you relationship to last, you need a good relationship with Christ.  If, peradventure, you, the reader, is not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Nurturing your relationship (2)

    Dear Reader, you are welcome to another interesting edition. There is no doubt you were wonderfully blessed last week.We began last week by looking at the meaning of relationship and commitment as one of the factors of how you can nurture and grow your relationship. Today, we shall continue with the same teaching by examining how you can ‘Put Your Home in Order’

    What is order? One dictionary defines it as “the way in which people or things are arranged in relation to each other” Dr. Mike Murdock simplifies it by saying, “Order is the accurate arrangement of things.” Therefore, order has to do with arrangement.

    Jesus was faced with the task of feeding five thousand. The people were very hungry, they were in a desert and all Jesus had at hand were five loaves of bread and two small fishes from a lad.

    And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children(Matthew 14:19-21).

    Jesus did not grab the loaves and the fish and say to the multitude, “You, take!” If He had done that, there would have been confusion, because we all know that where there is hunger, just anything can happen.

    So, what did Jesus do? The Bible says, “… He commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass”. He blessed the bread and gave to the disciples (not the multitude) to distribute. The resultant effect was that, “… they did eat, and were filled…” That’s order in practical display.

    In case you think only Jesus was orderly, you will find in the story of creation that God the Father is also orderly.

    “And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day”(Genesis 1:3-5).

    If you read the entire creation story you will see that God divided all the work He needed to do into six days. He first organised and arranged, deciding what He wanted to create before embarking on the actual creation.

    Now, even in the creation process, He made sure that the herbs the animals would eat were available before making them. For the fish, He ensured that the water was in place before the fish came. Then He made man and said, “Now, you be in charge!”

    Order is therefore part of God’s nature. So, when your home is orderly you are only exhibiting the nature of God.

    The family, like other organisations involving two or more people, needs to be governed. Its affairs have to be controlled and directed to make for peace and fulfillment. Until you order your family relationships, it will be difficult to order any other area of your life. Remember, it is said, “charity begins at home.” It doesn’t end there, but it begins there!

    Someone may actually be wishing he had the gift of order. Order is not a gift! Nobody is specially gifted in it. Anyone who desires order in the home must cultivate it – both the man and the woman. Why? Because the awesome responsibility of governing the home rests on the shoulders of the husband and his wife.

    However, just as in every human organisation there is need for one to assume the mantle of leadership, in the home, the husband is the head and the leader of the family.

    “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man”(Genesis 2:22).

    Leadership is by no means a cheap task as it requires strength and courage. As a husband, you need to be conscious of your leadership role in the family government and accept the fact that you are expected to steer the family in the right direction. Wherever you go, that’s where your family goes. It is your responsibility to lead effectively and several things can help you do so: v Be grounded in the Word of God. A sound knowledge of the Word will help you make sound and quality decisions.

    v Pattern your leadership after that of Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:3)

    v Lead tenderly, yet firmly and decisively.

    v Let your decisions take into cognizance the welfare of your wife, children and other family members.

    v Involve your wife in the decision-making process (be prepared to listen to her contributions and advise; but accept responsibility for the final decision).

    v Be ready to accept blame for whatever goes wrong and be willing to give God all the glory for everything that goes right.

    v Accept responsibility for providing spiritual leadership for the family. Don’t leave your children and family to social institutions like the school, society or even the church to raise for you. Take time out to teach your family the Word of God to ensure that each member of the family is born-again and filled with the Holy Spirit.

    v Also take practical steps to ensure that each one is on the right path by helping them discover their purpose. (Genesis 18:19).

    The wife on the other hand has a supportive role to play to her husband. You must understand that no tree makes a forest; so, surround your husband with aids and assistance; contributing positively to make life better for him. Every man has areas where he requires assistance more than others. As a wife, identify those areas and be willing to assist him in them.

    Disorderliness shatters relationships! It can drive a man or woman out of his or her garden of honour, like it did to Adam and Eve. You won’t be caught breaking ranks or acting disorderly!

    You need Jesus Christ to help put your home in order, according to God’s principle for a healthy family living. If, peradventure, you, the reader, is not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)

  • Communication: A must in Marriage (4)

    Dear Reader, I count it a great privilege to share a few thoughts with you today. All along, I’ve talked extensively on communication, its components and ways to enhance it.

    This week, even as we round off the teaching for this month, I shall be speaking on “Benefits of Effective Communication!”

    The place of understanding is very crucial to establishing a successful family. That is why God’s Word says: Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard (Proverbs 13:15). This truth was, again, emphasized in Proverbs 24:3: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established.

    This connotes that peace, joy, love, and favour can be established on a permanent basis in your family. It also means you can secure your relationship with your household by possessing good understanding.

    When you possess good understanding, you will correctly interpret what your spouse or family members say, rather than read negative meanings to every statement and action. Understanding helps you to read between the lines.

    Benefits of Effective Communication

    The benefits of effective communication include, but are not limited to the following:

    • Intimacy: this is never lacking in any home, where there is effective communication. Intimacy, here, is likened to closeness. This is because the more you learn to communicate, the closer you become; and the closer you are, the more difficult it is for the devil to find access into your relationship. It is a clear assertion that when husband and wife stick together, they stay together.
    • Friendship: is another benefit of effective communication. Friendship is based on familiarity and emotional attachment. The more you communicate the more familiar you become with each other. This, in turn, gets you attached emotionally to each other. Emotional attachment is what makes you start feeling for each other. My husband has said that when couples stop feeling for each other, danger is at the door.
    • Self Awareness: is another benefit of effective communication. This helps you to know yourself better. Your spouse and family members serve as human mirrors that help you locate the “saints on your back”, so a better you can emerge. You are able to discover yourself through your spouse or children only when the communication lines are opened.This helps you to discover and correct certain flaws in your life and character, which may not be obvious to you before.
    • Triggers Love and Submission: When communication between husband and wife is effective, it provokes love from the husband and submission from the wife. For instance, when a woman does not obey the instruction of her husband, it may not necessarily be rebellion or trying to be difficult, but could be because she lacks understanding. When the communication strategy is constantly improved upon, it stirs up love. If a man finds it difficult to love his wife, it is a sign that he has difficulty communicating with her. But when the communication lines are open, rather than holding grudges, both of them can freely discuss issues and arrive at favourable conclusions. Personally, I can testify that it is a thing of joy for me to submit to my husband in everything! He doesn’t have to coerce me to; I do so willingly and with ease. It is not because of his titles, but because the communication lines are open. Effective communication keeps compelling his love in my direction and my submission in his. So then, he confidently looks at me and says: “I just love you.”

    Without, first, enjoying a sweet communication with Jesus, it will be impossible to effectively communicate with your spouse and children. That is, effective communication is triggered by a life in Christ. A life in Christ demands confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. To do this, please say this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today acknowledging that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe You died for me and rose again on the third day. Forgive me my sins, wash me with Your Blood and write my name in the Lamb’s Book of life. Thank You Lord for saving me.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • Communication: A must in marriage! (3)

    Dear Reader, welcome to today’s edition of your usual column in Jesus’ name!  Without any doubt, I know that you have really taken time to decipher the truth of God’s Word regarding communication.

    This week, I will yet be unveiling to you what I subtitled “Ways of Enhancing Communication!”

    Communication is a two-way process that involves talking and listening. The better couple and children communicate; the closer they become. Communication can be enhanced better than you may envisage, by paying strict attention to the following:

    1. Learning to Listen!

    Listening is a crucial prerequisite for an effective communication. Since it involves talking and listening as seen in Proverbs 18:13. A wise man once said, “Good listeners are good lovers.”  Some women tend to talk too much that they don’t give room for their husband to say anything. Hence, such husbands keep hearing what the woman says without listening. Meanwhile, communication goes beyond hearing, to being attentive. This enables one to be able to make sound decisions and pass good judgment on various issues.

    1. Truthfulness!

    Ordinarily, truthfulness means constancy or sincerity in action or character.  Truthfulness is also an attribute of God.  God detests lies and exaggeration. Husbands, wives and children must be very truthful in their communication to one another. My husband often says, “When Christianity lacks character there is nothing more to it.”

    iii.       Correct Timing!

    Words, we know, can be likened to eggs.  They are fragile and delicate. God’s Word says: …A word spoken in due season, how good is it! (Proverbs 15:23). That is, you must know your spouse so well that you know when to say what and how to say it. Important issues should be wisely but thoroughly discussed. Even when you feel so overwhelmed by a matter, you can always compose yourself to wait for an appropriate time to speak.

    1. Pleasing Each Other!

    One of the essences of effective communication is to enhance intimacy, unity and love.  Remember, motive is the main focus here.  It is important for you to be willing to admit when you are wrong; don’t be too proud to say so. Before engaging in heartfelt discussions, especially when crucial issues are to be ironed out, you may need to ask yourself questions like:  What is my motive?  Will it destroy our intimacy or make my spouse lose respect for me? Why am I saying this? Will it make us a better couple? Finding sincere answers to these questions will go a long way in enhancing your communication skill, thereby presenting to both your spouse and you better way of pleasing each other.

    It is a fact that the longer you live together with someone, the more you are able to read his or her body language. For example, a look from your husband can send a clear message to you, which no one else may understand.

    In concluding this segment, let me say here that communication is not only vital for husbands and wives, but for all members of the family. Both verbal and non-verbal types of communication are required and should, therefore, be employed by members for a fruitful family relationship.

    Keep the communication lines open; don’t allow the enemy to tamper with it. This can only be achieved by surrendering your life to Jesus. It starts by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. To do this, please say this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today acknowledging that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe You died for me and rose again on the third day. Forgive me my sins, wash me with Your Blood and write my name in the Lamb’s Book of life. Thank You Lord for saving me.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).