Dr., please I’m having serious problems with my wife. For about four years now, I no longer enjoy sex with her. We sleep like strangers on the same bed. Naturally, she isn’t the romantic type and she is like iced fish in bed because of her dryness. I have to force her before she uses gel and even during her ovulation period, she doesn’t bother about sex and the annoying part is that every little thing, she gets angry. She’s full of complaint, finds it hard to listen to others and upon all, we are yet to have children. We have done all tests available and nothing is wrong with both of us. I’m sick and tired of this and I don’t want to cheat. Please advise.
My brother, I keep saying on this page that I’m not a medical doctor. Okay, maybe you people want to confer on me an honorary doctorate degree. That will make me ‘Doctor of Hearts’; that’s nice.
Now to serious business, there are three fundamental issues here and all together are enough to make a man have doubts about the ability of the union to withstand the tests posed to it. Let me attempt to touch them one by one. You will however need to book an appointment for counseling.
Vaginal dryness during intercourse: Normally, the walls of the vagina stay lubricated with a thin layer of clear fluid. The hormone estrogen helps maintain that fluid and keeps the lining of the vagina healthy, thick, and elastic. During menopause however, the drop in estrogen levels reduces the amount of moisture available. It also makes the vagina thinner and less elastic. Apart from menopause, estrogen levels can drop from childbirth and breastfeeding, radiation or chemotherapy treatment for cancaer,
surgical removal of the ovaries, anti-estrogen medications used to treat uterine fibroids or endometriosis. Other causes of vaginal dryness include allergy and cold medications and certain antidepressants, douching, lack of enough foreplay before sexual intercourse. No matter what the cause, vaginal dryness can be extremely uncomfortable. It can lead to itching, burning, and painful intercourse.
The most common treatment for vaginal dryness due to low estrogen levels is topical estrogen therapy. Topical estrogen replaces some of the hormone your body is no longer making. That helps relieve vaginal symptoms, but it doesn’t put as much estrogen in your bloodstream as oral estrogen hormone therapy (HT). Most women use one of two common types of vaginal estrogen:
Vaginal estrogen tablet: You use a disposable applicator to insert a tablet into your vagina once a day for the first two weeks of treatment. Then you insert it twice a week until you no longer need it.
Vaginal estrogen cream: You use an applicator to insert the cream into your vagina. How often you apply the cream depends on the brand. This is applied every day for the first two to four weeks and then one to three times a week.
Trying for a baby: This is one factor that may be giving room for tension in the home. You need to address it squarely. Since you are trying for a baby, I know a very good drug that may help with conception and at the same time increase cervical mucus because cervical mucus helps sperm survive and travel from the cervix up to the uterus and fallopian tubes. A lack of quality fertile cervical mucus can make getting pregnant difficult. It may also be a symptom of another problem that may be causing infertility.
Still talking about achieving pregnancy, you may need to talk to a doctor friend of mine who specializes in that area.
Her attitude: Until I see both of you together once or twice, it would be hard to judge if her attitude is right or wrong or if you are the one not understanding her enough. A woman doesn’t have to agree with everything you say if she has points of her own that differ from yours.
