Category: Saturday Magazine

  • Ankara hot!

    Ankara hot!

    ANKARA garb now comes in several natty designs, and the good thing is that you don’t have to empty your account before you are able to get one.

    The popularity of Ankara fabric is as a result of the pride with which many Nigerians are now wearing them. This is the reason why they are still hot at socials and on the runway.

    Also Africans in the Diaspora are showing a unique sense of fashion and their connection to Africa by wearing these beautiful attires. Nowadays, when it comes to fabric, it seems to be either Ankara or nothing, whether we are talking about gowns, skirts or blouses. Tops, trousers, camisoles and any item you can think of are from Ankara fabric. Thanks to our designers, Ankara has come to stay. This is because they keep making remarkable creations with Ankara and the results are fabulous! In addition to their use in outfits, these African prints are used for interior decorations like window blinds, door curtain, wall décor etc.

  • Pencil skirts: Trendy and simple

    Pencil skirts: Trendy and simple

    JUST because you aren’t going to the office doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider wearing a pencil skirt. What I really love about this type of skirt is that it’s flexible enough to team up with most types of tops and shoes. Especially a simple black pencil skirt which can be worn as part of a conservative office work outfit or for parties – or with your casual denim shirt!

    You can dress it up for work or parties, or dress it down for casual everyday wear. Just put on your sophisticated dress shirt at daytime and take it off and put on a slouchy tee later that evening. It has (almost) everything you can ever wish in a skirt, and that’s why I consider a pencil skirt to be one of your most important wardrobe essentials.

    It suits most body shapes. However, if you have a pear or hourglass shape you must be careful with how you style it for formal occasions because of the tapered hemline. No matter how luscious your curves are it might not be appropriate for the occasion. My tip is to try to balance it out by adding more volume to your upper part with a bright or light-coloured blouse and add an extra inch to your shoe wear. It can really accentuate your curves.

    *If you want your hips and legs to appear leaner, go for a pencil skirt with two darts in the front.

    *If you’re wearing a high waist skirt or a skirt with a thick waistband, then you should tuck it in as it complements the look a lot better than wearing it that way.

    *If you want to conceal your tummy – look for skirts with a wide waistband to help tuck in a larger part of your stomach. If you wear the top like that, it will give a completely different feel to your skirt outfit.

  • I’m 16 but my guy is dating my friend

    I’m responding to the numerous questions I have been receiving on how to identify or even define true love. True love, ironically, can’t be defined. It’s the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it’s too late. So what is true love really? True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that isn’t bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge. This is human behavior, because these traits are engrained within us. But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a special someone

    When does one experience true love?

    True love takes time to bloom. What you experience in the first year or so of a relationship is infatuation and sexual attraction. As the bursts of infatuation start to fade with the first few arguments and the first few misunderstandings, that’s when love starts to enter the picture. And this is where most couples start to drift away emotionally, or even end up breaking up because of incompatibilities.If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love each other, chances are, you’re experiencing true love already.

    Secret signs of a bad relationship

    When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then. But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time. Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds. Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse.

  • What is true love?

    I’m responding to the numerous questions I have been receiving on how to identify or even define true love. True love, ironically, can’t be defined. It’s the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it’s too late. So what is true love really? True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that isn’t bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge. This is human behavior, because these traits are engrained within us. But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a special someone

    When does one experience true love?

    True love takes time to bloom. What you experience in the first year or so of a relationship is infatuation and sexual attraction. As the bursts of infatuation start to fade with the first few arguments and the first few misunderstandings, that’s when love starts to enter the picture. And this is where most couples start to drift away emotionally, or even end up breaking up because of incompatibilities.If you’re in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love each other, chances are, you’re experiencing true love already.

    Secret signs of a bad relationship

    When you’re floating on the high of a happy relationship, it’s easy to overlook all the little nagging issues that crop up now and then. But before long, it’s the little things that’ll create bigger problems as they snowball over time. Don’t let infatuation and intense affection for each other blind either of you from building a successful relationship on constructive grounds. Keep an eye out for the hints of a bad relationship that show up now and then, and fix them before it gets worse.

  • The 7 secret signs that reveal a bad romance in progress

    Constant arguments, affairs or unhappiness may be the big signs of a bad relationship. But these big signs don’t just crop up out of nowhere. And it’s the secret signs, those subtle hints that can even seem funny at first, that make way for the bigger problems to seep in. If you’re looking for signs of a bad relationship, focus on these 7 signs to begin with. After all, even the biggest of relationship problems have to start with these little secret signs. Read these subtle signs of a bad relationship, and if you do experience something in your own relationship, weed them out before it affects your relationship further.

    1 Eye rolling:  Do you take your partner or their suggestions seriously? You may find yourself dumbly smiling at your lover or ignoring your partner when they’re trying to say something to you. And your partner may even laugh about it.

    But the fact that you didn’t listen to your partner or assumed that you were superior to your partner in that aspect shows that you don’t take your partner seriously. To begin with, it may just be a one off incident. But if you find yourself rolling your eyes each time you hear something from the next room or repeating ‘whatever’ inside your head, ask yourself why you’re taking your partner so lightly?

    2 Dominance:  Dominance and power play in a relationship can be confusing to read, especially if you’re being subtle about it. Do you feel like one of you has more power in the relationship? A happy relationship has to have an equal balance of power between the two lovers. If you feel like you’re being dominated or not given enough control of the relationship and its direction, speak about it with your partner

    3 Loss of respect: Respect for each other is crucial in a relationship. If you don’t respect your lover, your lover would start to shy away from giving suggestions or even playing a part in the functioning of the relationship. And almost all the time, your partner will end up getting attracted to someone else who respects them and likes them for the person they are.

    4 Speaking ill of each other: Don’t insult each other just to get even or win an argument. And this is especially important when others are around. Don’t ridicule your partner, and definitely avoid saying anything demeaning to your partner when others are around. No matter how you say it, it’ll always be taken badly by your partner.On the other hand, some people love talking about their partner’s inefficiencies to their friends, as if to expect solace and comfort. But by speaking ill of your partner to others, you’re only reassuring yourself that your partner is not good enough for you. How can a relationship last when all you’re trying to do is convince yourself that your lover is not good enough for you?

    5 Avoiding conflict and avoiding resolutions: Sometimes, it’s easier to overlook a few differences rather than pick a fight over it. But if something bothers you, don’t avoid talking about it with your partner. If you find yourself grumbling to yourself about something, be it the dirty sink or the clothes lying around, but you still avoid talking about it to your partner, it’ll do more damage than good. The rage that accumulates inside you would start to distance you from your partner, and yet, your partner would have no idea about what’s bothering you.

    6 Taking each other for granted: This is one of the most common signs of a bad relationship. All of us take our partners for granted. But there’s a thin line between feeling good about helping someone and feeling like an overworked mule. It’s very easy to unknowingly take your partner for granted. Learn to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and ask yourself how you’d feel. It’ll help you realize when you’re being overbearing and annoying.

    7 Silence: Talk is cheap and silence is golden. True, almost in all cases, but not in a relationship. When you’re in love, communication helps open up both your minds and creates a better bond. Do both of you spend your evenings watching your favorite telly shows after work, and hardly talk about anything with each other? It may seem like a perfect way to relax after a tiring and long day. But over times, this lack of communication will disconnect both of you from each other. And soon enough, both of you won’t have anything to share with each other because your minds and ideas are so far apart.

  • Use the ideas here to write romantic messages …

    You could write these ‘love token messages’ on a postcard and adorn a wall with your statements of love for Valentines day or an anniversary … the only cost is your time … save the cash for a romantic dinner for two… or for flowers or a gift.

    If you want to theme your messages use read or pink coloured card or their favourite colours…

    Or print photos onto the cards, have the cards shaped as hearts or simple flower shapes, or leave them in a trail of stepping stones dotted with messages or use footprint shaped messages …the trail could lead to a candlelit dinner for two to a romantic gift …

     

    A List of Romantic Words …

    remember romance is – different things to different people so try to think of words that are appropriate.

    Love.

    Beautiful.

    Sweet.

    Kind.

    Gentle.

    Dear.

    Sweetheart.

    Special.

    Beloved.

    Treasured.

    Wonderful.

    Thoughtful.

     

    A Love Quote…

    ‘Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.’

    Quote Henri Frederic Amiel.

    ‘Grow old along with me the best is yet to be.’ Quote by ~ Robert Browning.

    ‘The heart that loves is always young.’ a Greek proverb.

     

    Write a message today … that will become a word memory…

    •remember … before the days of text and mobiles people sometimes had to write letters or even love letters to each other… some of us who were miles apart from a person we loved. and now have them tied up with ribbon ( the letters not the person we love).

    When from time to time we read the letters; we remember and if we are really lucky we have never forgotten or been forgotten. Maybe that is romantic… so say it, write it , post it, send it.

    three small words …

    If all else fails in your search for the right words –

    remember that said with sincerity three small words can be the most romantic of any…

    and you already know them.

     

    Different ways of saying the same thing …

    Help in writing Something Romantic …

    A list of sentence starters – put them with the words of your choice or pick from the list below.

    Make sure the words you add to the sentence make sense and that they relate to the person you are saying them too – and please only say them if you mean them -I love you because

    You are special to me because

    No one could be as special to me as you are because

    I like it when you say

    Being with you makes me happy because

    You have the most beautiful smile.

    Words list.

    darling, my love, dearest, sweetheart, beloved, beautiful, special.

  • New  global strategies and economic realignment

    Nothing  illustrates what I have in mind today better  than two diplomatic   shuttles  involving the President of the US Barak Obama, his Secretary of State Hillary Clinton   and the continent of Asia in recent times. While  US President  Barak Obama was facing the heat of  his election campaign and reelection,  his Secretary  of State  Hillary Clinton was on  a diplomatic shuttle in Asia  and was  very assertive  in Burma. Immediately after  President Obama secured his re – election   he followed his Secretary of State again  to Asia to the Summit of South East Asian nations and  still   to Burma  where  both removed their shoes as they worshipped in a  temple with their hosts.

    Around the same time as these shuttles,  the Israeli air force was shelling  Gaza,  while Hamas was shooting rockets into Israel. Yet,  it was only after Obama and Hillary had  completed their assignment in Asia that Hillary headed to Israel and the Gaza Strip while the US president went back to the White House in Washington. Yet,   Israel  has not changed as the cornerstone of the US Middle East Foreign Policy.  A few years back, it would have been unthinkable for a US Secretary of State to be in the Pacific while Israel was being attacked and was indeed contemplating a  land invasion not to talk of a US president talking business with China, Thailand and Japan while Israel was on a high security alert.

    But  times have changed and I can imagine Barack Obama chuckling   quietly to himself as he recalled the response of a  former British PM  Lord  Palmerstone to his attackers in the House of Commons on the charge that he was creating colonies overseas  for Britain at the start  of what was to become the Colonial era  for Britain. ’I have brought  a new world into existence to  redress  the  balance of  the old‘ – was  Lord Palmerstone’s historic response  in the Commons and I think that would be a very apt  retort by Obama  and Hillary to any charge of having abandoned Israel   under attack; and I can bet there will be no shortage of such charges in the foreseeable future.

    Undoubtedly the US president is changing US diplomatic landscape and policy and is doing it in a big way that even his opponents must concede has made a triumph of his first option of making diplomacy work. It  is pertinent to recall that he was given the Nobel Prize for this just after he had only made the Cairo Speech  just  as he was elected for his first   term. I  confess  that  I was one of those who thought he had not done enough then  to earn  the Nobel  prize. But now after the Asian shuttle preceded by the Spring Revolution in N Africa and the exit of the Arab despots, Obama is really now earning his Nobel Prize.

    Before  going on to dilate on Obama’s Asian trip let me shed more light on the role of Lord Palmerstone in British diplomacy during the reign of Queen Victoria. Lord Palmerstone was disliked by the British monarch because Palmerstone thought Britain should use its  power to expand its empire overseas and in pursuing this policy Palmerstone  created embarrassing moments for the  monarchy. This was because  the monarchy  believed the government should be more active in curbing the  rebellious activities of those asking for republicanism in Europe as Queen Victoria and her consort  Prince Albert were cousins to many of the ruling houses in Europe  instead   of   expanding the Empire as Palmerstone was more interested in. But Lord Palmerstone was  a  popular politician of his time and the Queen found it difficult to sack him. Palmerstone became Secretary at War in 1809 and served  for 20 years  under  five PMs  and was also Foreign Secretary   which was when he made the famous quotation,   before he too  became PM in 1855  at age 70.

    Hillary Clinton to me is  to the US President Barak  Obama what Palmerstone was to Queen Victoria. The difference is that there  is no hostility between the US duo  unlike their British counterpart and the US and its business interests are the better for it. At  a time when the EU, America’s natural and historic economic partner is comatose economically, Asia provides a life line for new business and investment for American firms and corporate business giants. Hence Obama’s  swift visit to a meetng of the South East Asian nations involving nations like China, Japan, Malaysia, Thailand and so  on in Canbodia. At  the meeting President Obama met outgoing Chinese leader Wu Jia Bao and had a farewell meeting as it were  with the Chinese leader who confirmed that US- Chinese business relations had never been better and that the good business will continue under China’s new leaders.

    Hillary also  had blazed a trail in getting the military in  Burma to release Aung San Suu Kyi  the Burmese political icon who had been under  house arrest for decades after winning the fairest election in the history of her nation. Suu Kyi is to Burma what the illustrious Nelson Mandela has been to S Africa, and the whole world, the epitome of freedom and the unbreakable spirit of  human dignity.   Unbelievably the military junta released her and allowed her party to contest  elections into parliament even though military appointees are in majority in the new Burmese parliament. Hillary’s diplomatic shuttle have been rewarded by the military who have relaxed some of their dictatorial policies  in Burma and even though the military is still in control,  Obama’s visit was to encourage the military to move towards democracy. However  Suu Kyi herself warned that the journey is long and people must not be complacent or have a false sense of accomplishment now so as not to be deceived eventually.

    Nigeria too is not to  be left behind in the quest of seeking new partners and  business realignments  for  national and global  economic survival. President Goodluck Jonathan was on the front page of newspapers on Thursday showing his arrival  at the Benazir Bhutto  International Airport in Pakistan‘s capital Islamabad,  for a meeting  of the D 8 nations hosted by Nigeria in 2010. According to the Nigerian president’s address on the internet,  he thanked the host of the Summit President Asif Zardari of Pakistan to whom he handed over the Chairmanship in Abuja two years ago. According to President Jonathan,  Nigeria values its membership of the D8 as a platform  for economic cooperation  and promotion of trade for sustainable development and welcomes investment in the country from member D 8 nations. President Jonathan noted that Nigeria has been very active in hosting many meetings of  D 8   and values   the goals of solidarity and joint and joint trade and commerce inherent in the association. To build on these gains President Jonathan said that Nigeria  and the Islamic Republic of Iran have jointly hosted the Working Group Meeting  on Small and Medium Enterprises –SMEs –which are vital to the growth of the G8 economies.

    The  D 8 nations are made up of  nations with a large Muslim  population and include host Pakistan, last host Nigeria, Turkey, Egypt, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Iran. Egypt is not attending as President Mohammed Morsi is staying put in Cairo to monitor the Israeli – Hamas feud over Gaza  and the testy ceasefire that came into effect last Tuesday. Aside from this however Egypt just  got a huge loan from the IMF for its migration to full blown democracy,  stemming from the Arab Spring and the Tahrir Square Street revolution that overthrew the Housni Mubarak regime,  and may not be that hungry for D 8  businesses.

    In addition there is the danger of being seen as hobnobbing with Iran which has UN sanctions round its neck over its Nuclear Uranium enrichment program, a fact which does not seem to bother the Nigerian president very much. In  addition Egypt does not support the Bashar Assad regime in Syria firmly supported by Iran in suppressing the popular uprising in Syria against the Assad dynasty. Surely political and diplomatic issues as well as regional differences still color pragmatic economic instincts by nations as they forge alliances and realign  economic  strategies to make ends meet in a fast changing world.

  • How to say something romantic

    How to say something romantic?

    How to say find the right words to let some one know you love them.

    How to write something romantic.

    Ideas and inspiration on how to write or say something romantic.

    On Valentine’s day, a birthday or a special anniversary you want to say something special to say how much you care. But every time you think of something to say …. it sounds wrong.

    The right words will be the words that mean something special to the person you are saying/sending them to, the words that will touch their heart and make them think how lucky they are to have someone like you to care.

    You do not need many words to tell someone that you care they just need to be the right words for that person.

     

    Lost for the right words?

    The right words at the right time… but that is not always easy.

    You want to say something romantic… but you are not sure…

     

    Do not make it too complicated…

    Try not to make your words more complicated than they need be… two lines or two or three words can be enough said at the right time, spoken in the right way or written down to be treasured.

    In the past Valentine cards were sent anonymously …

    I suppose it was thought of as more romantic.

    But why go to all that effort and risk someone else taking the credit?

    At least leave a hint of who wrote and sent it.

     

    Present your words in an attractive way..the message can be simple but mean what you say..

    here are some ideas for you to use or adapt to suit your romantic message…

    •Find a piece of poetry that will mean something about your relationship and to you both.

    •Write down a few lines from songs that you both love – you will know the sort of songs I mean.

    •You could write them down and say why they mean so much to you.

    •Or patch together lines of poetry, songs, quotes, write them on the card at angles to each other so that the lines are diagonally and just keep adding to them until you have an arrangement of words that you like.

     

    Still lost for words…

    •Just write a list of words – the things you love about this person, or type and print it if you hate your handwriting.

    •Cut up the list and stick it into the card or on a piece of paper … before you start to add the words in the centre of the card write these are the things that I love about you…

    If you are artistic decorate the paper, or print your favourite photographs on it or pick a very special card or a piece of handmade paper… you can buy some handmade papers with petals pressed into the paper.

     

  • Conmen on the prowl, beware!

    Like hungry beasts in the jungle, they are on the loose looking for unsuspecting victims to devour. They are the conmen in our midst, or what we refer as yahoo yahoo guys (and women too as there are some females in the ‘business’). I don’t know about you but in the past couple of months, I have been inundated with fake phone calls, emails, text messages and others which bear the signature of these dupes. How do I know they are from them? Well, it’s easy to spot with a little bit of scrutiny and vigilance.

    The mails ‘emanate’ from all sources- banks, government agencies, blue chip companies, international organizations like the WHO and its affiliates. Even the Presidency is not spared. I recently got a mail from a supposed ‘P.A’ to the President on International Affairs who claimed he had a large sum of money (about 50 million dollars) that needed to be remitted abroad. He wanted my assistance in making the transaction, promising me a large cut of the deal. Most of the other letters are in likewise manner.

    How those foreign victims of these conmen fell to their tricks in the past beats me. For it must take a complete fool (or mugu in yahoo yahoo language) or a very greedy person to want to be involved in that kind of deal. The victims wanted to make quick bucks, by reaping where they did not sow. In the end, their greed got them, with many left with their life’s savings and other personal possessions cleaned out.

    Among other things, the yahoo yahoo ‘business’ is one of the most evil things we have exported to the world that has all but destroyed our reputation in the comity of nations. Wherever we go outside the country, we are looked on with suspicion as if we are up to no good. For those who travel abroad, you must understand what it means to carry the green passport- it’s like having a bold sign with the word ‘criminal’ carved on your forehead. It doesn’t matter who you are- be it a top government official, an honest businessman or professional or a general in the military- it’s the same attitude. It’s that bad.

    Now, like Frankenstein’s monster, these conmen have turned on their ‘master’. With the economic recession in Europe and other countries in the West that used to be their former ‘hunting ground’ biting hard, their foreign mugus no longer have the resources to be conned. They have have now turned their greedy eyes on their fellow countrymen like you and I to practise their nefarious activities on.

    So, be vigilant especially with the Yuletide season round the corner. Immediately delete any suspicious-looking mail particularly those from banks asking for your account number, pin number and other personal details. No bank would ask for your PIN especially by mail.

    These fake mails are easy to spot as most are badly written with poor grammar like a letter written by a Primary 6 pupil still learning the rudiments of the English language.

    As for those sending me these fake mails, you better stop as you can never get me that easily. For I’m one of those who believe that whatever I achieve in life is through hard work (with some luck thrown in) and not through doing fast deals. As the saying goes; easy come, easy goes. You make quick money, it slips through your fingers faster than lightning! If in doubt, ask any ex-conmen some of who now beg to eat, having squandered their ill-gotten loot on fast cars, fast women and fast living!

  • Flora forever (2)

    By this time, the rain had reduced to a slight drizzle and it was nearly sunset. We couldn’t sit in the car all day talking so I started the engine and drove to an eatery not too far away from my home at Ikeja. I ordered for a drink while Flora, who said she was hungry asked for some food.

    “You are sure your head is ok? You are not feeling any pain?” I enquired glancing at her head which was covered in a headscarf.

    “I’m fine. Stop worrying,” she said looking up at the waiter who had brought the food.

    I watched her closely as she ate. She looked up then, saw me looking at her and smiled.

    “Want some?” she asked, offering me a piece of chicken.

    I shook my head.

    “I’m ok. I ate at my friend’s place,” I told her.

    “Is she a girlfriend?” she enquired. “I see you are not married,” she added, glancing at my left hand.

    “You are right. I’m still single. But she’s just a friend,” I stated. That was not the whole truth but more about that later…

    “Anyway,” I began. “We are not here to talk about my love life. You were supposed to tell me about your husband,” I pointed out.

    The animated look on her face disappeared then and she sat, staring gloomily into her plate.

    Seeing the sad look on her face and fearing she might start crying again, I said softly:

    “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. I’ll understand.”

    “No. I’m fine,” she stated, looking calmly at me.

    Then after taking a sip of water, she began to speak. And this was her story:

    She was in her second year at the university when her father died. Her mother had passed away some years earlier during childbirth. The baby, Patricia had lived and the bereaved family had tried to raise the little motherless child as best it could. “My dad really tried. He refused to remarry though there were opportunities for him to do so. He said he didn’t want another woman to come and spoil the love and unity in the family. You see, we were a very close-knit family, my siblings- four of us- and our dad. I have an older brother Michael who lives abroad, though we don’t know if he’s still alive as we’ve not heard from him for some years now.”

    She said after her dad died, things became tough for the family. “Michael and I were at Uni then,” she explained. “Though my elder sister, Janet had left school, she had not started working as she was planning to go for her Masters degree. With our dad’s death, everything was affected- our education, lifestyle and other things. My dad worked as a senior manager in a big manufacturing company and though we were not swimming in money, we were at least comfortable. We had inherited some money from him but that ran out in no time. When things became really tough, we had to seek help from relatives. None was willing to help except for an aunt, one of my mother’s sisters. She had a successful business and was doing quite well.

    “She agreed to pay my school fees and that of Michael who was by then in his third year. She kept to her promise and helped with our education. Among her various businesses was a restaurant. During the holidays, due to my aunty’s promptings, I began helping out there. If I had known, I should have stayed away from that place because of what happened later.”

    At this point, she stopped speaking and took a drink of water.

    “Do you want anything else? Let me order for some soft drinks…” I stated but she shook her head.

    “I’m ok,” she said and began to speak once more.

    The restaurant, she stated was a fairly large one and quite popular. “It was always filled with customers, especially male ones who often came in expensive-looking cars which they parked across the road in an undeveloped plot of land. Initially, I thought they came just for the food which was quite good. It was later I discovered it was for something else. A lot of girls worked at the place and most times, some just hung around doing nothing. They would be in one of the rooms in the building, chatting, fixing their make-up or doing their hair. Whenever I told my aunty how they were lazing around doing nothing, she would tell me to ignore them and face my duties.

    “I helped with the accounts as my aunt said I was good with figures. Then one night, I had to help out serving the customers as we were short of waitresses. That opened my eyes to the other aspect of the business. After their meals, some of the male customers would leave with a girl or even two and they would not return. I observed this most nights and I began to have my suspicions which were confirmed by one of the girls who worked in the kitchen. “They take the girls out to sleep with them after paying Madam. It has been going on for years,” she whispered to me.

    In other words, my aunt was running a prostitution ring, using the restaurant as a front! I was shocked because I had always seen her as a decent person who would never be involved in something so shoddy. But you could never tell with people. Later, she tried to involve me in her evil deeds. After serving them, some of the customers would ask for me, saying: “Where is that fine girl? Call her for me!”

    “They made all kinds of offers- lots of money, trips abroad, any car of my choice. But I wasn’t interested and I made it clear to them. When it came to my aunty’s notice that I was rejecting her customers, she was not happy. She accused me of being stubborn and trying to ruin her business. “Mind you, it’s from this business that I pay your school fees and that of your siblings. So, you better cooperate or you will have to look for another sponsor,” she threatened me. I still refused the men’s advances. But something happened one day to change all that. There was this man who was really persistent. Larry was his name and he was a regular customer who came nearly everyday. The more he pestered me, the more I turned him down.

    Then one day, I heard he gave a very large sum of money to my aunt so he could have me. My aunt told me I either complied or she would no longer have anything to do with our education. I was more concerned about my brother who was already in his final year then. What if he was forced to drop out of school due to lack of sponsorship at that stage in his education? It would be my fault. I could never forgive myself for that. So, because of my aunty’s threats and maybe my age then- I was just 18- I succumbed. I began to date Larry and to be fair to him, he treated me well at the beginning. He was a rich businessman and was unmarried. Larry became responsible for my education and upkeep. The only condition was that I was not to date any other person as long as we were together as he loved me too much to share me with any other man.

    About six months later, I found out I was pregnant and when I told Larry, he said we should get married. I was against it as I was still in school and I felt my education would be disrupted if I had a baby. But he assured me that I could always return to school after the baby was born. My aunt and even my sister Janet said the same thing. “School will always be there but good men like Larry are hard to find,” they told me. I took their advice and married Larry. I had my daughter Ivy soon after that. And before I could think of returning to school, I was pregnant again with my second child.

    I had to put my education on hold so I could take care of my children. Besides, by this time, I was having problems in my marriage. Larry, to my shock changed from the loving, caring man I dated. He began to drink heavily, often came home late and would beat me without provocation. I tried to reason with him but it was no use. There was a night he beat me so hard, I became unconscious and it was the neighbours who had to take me to the hospital. When I recovered and returned home, I found another woman in the house.

    Larry threw me out, stating he had married someone else who would give him sons as I had only female children in my womb! I had to move in with my sister with my children. He took everything away including the car he bought for me, though we had been together for eight years. That was six months ago. He doesn’t even care about the children’s welfare or their education. That morning of the accident, I had gone to see him at home concerning Princess, my first daughter’s school fees as she attends an expensive private school. He chased me out, saying he didn’t have money to train ‘those brats’ as he called his own kids. I was really upset. I just walked along the road not really seeing where I was going, thinking about my life and how badly things had turned out for me when you hit me.”

    She stopped speaking then and just sat staring glumly down at the table. I felt really sorry for her after listening to her tale. ‘What kind of man would do this to a beautiful lady like this, his own wife?’ I thought as I gazed at her.

    “It’s really sad that such things happened to you at such a young age,” I told her softly, reaching across the table to take her hand in mine.

    She looked up then and shrugged.

    “That’s life. Full of ups and downs,” she noted. “My main concern now are my children. I’ve been looking for a job so I can earn some money to take care of them. But it’s been tough as they always ask for qualifications and I didn’t finish school.”

    I thought about what she said.

    “If it’s a job you want, I have something in mind. Can you…?”

     

    To be continued

    What did Bari say to Flora concerning her job search? Details next Saturday!

     

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