The Nation Newspaper

Category: Society

  • Union of lovebirds

    Nigeria’s former Ambassador to Austria Balogun Biodun Owoseni has given his daughter Mojisola’s hand in marriage to Olawale Adesokan in Ijesa-Isu in Gbonyin Local Government Area of Ekiti State, writes SULAIMAN SALAWUDEEN

    The marriage of Mojisola, daughter of Nigeria’s former ambassador to Austria, Balogun Biodun Owoseni, and her spouse, Olawale Adesokan, in Ijesa-Isu in Gbonyin Local Government Area of Ekiti State, was a show of class.

    From the chaufeur-driven posh cars for the bride and her groom, to the couple’s attractive outfits, the reception and the vast choices of tasty dishes all affirmed the class of the couple’s families.

    From 8am, cars of various modes and moulds streamed into the town and, in a rather slow but steady motion, made straight for the Hossannah African Church Cathedral, venue of the marriage solemnisation.

    By 10am, rows upon rows of vehicles had formed on the main roads near the church, spreading into the adjoining streets and frontages of houses. This made vehicular movement a bit difficult for other commuters.

    From the glossy vehicles emerged, one after the othe,r well-dressed guests who, in groups of three, four or five, made for the church where a service in honour of the couple was slated.

    Friends, family members  and other well wishers, dressed in local and foreign attires, soon gathered in the church to take their seats. Thefront row was left for the bride, the groom and their parents.

    Mojisola and Olawale met at the University of Ibadan where their brilliance shone like a northern star. Although Mojisola, born in the United Kingdom, made a First Class, the brilliance of her spouse was irresistible. Fate caused their paths to cross and they had stayed glued to each other since. Aside academic brilliance, they are the last children of their families.

    They sat through the service occasionally waving in acknowledgements of the presence of guests.

    The parents of the couple   – Owoseni, his wife Mrs Idowu; groom’s father Chief A. Adesokan and mother, Alhaja Titilayo Adesokan – all  filed out in their attractive ofi attires (handwoven Yoruba outfit).

    The officiating minister, Bishop Samuel Ojumu, of the Bethel Cathedral Church worldwide, said in his sermon that marriage was pre-ordained, given what he described as the ingrained incompleteness in either sexes.

    Making copious references to the Bible and real life instances, Bishop Ojumu maintained that marriage in earlier times were mostly successful because the wife would always accept the husband as the crown on her head, which must not be taken for granted or toyed with; while the husband would regard the wife as that fragile egg which must not be tended carelessly, lest it would fall and break.

    He urged both to learn to accommodate each other’s shortcomings in words and indeed, adding that the facts of being born of different parents and at different times and being brought up in different places meant their thinking, beliefs and manners might be different.

    Ojumu encouraged them to learn to discuss issues and settle quarrels ‘in-house’ as a third-party option exposes their weaknesses and renders the home front susceptible to outside influences.

    Soon the church service ended and the photo session soon crept in leaving Mojisola and her spouse at the mercy of photographers and cameramen who plied their trade by giving orders.

    They soon came into the reception held at the Balogun Owoseni International School, Ijesa-Isu in Gbonyin Local Government Area of Ekiti State about 2pm, hand in hand, beaming smiles.

    They exchanged brief pleasantries with a few friends before making their way to their seats after which followed some introduction of guests.

    It was however not an easy task to get the bride dancing, but she soon succumbed to entreaties and the dance floor indeed knew a couple had visited.

    Who won what seemed a contest between the latest bride and her husband, no one could validly say but it was apparent the two had received some tutorials in the dance art.

    The clement weather lent desirable support for the reception which soon came reduced to a carnival-like atmosphere as both families alongside many other dignitaries joined the bride and her groom in the dance task, pelting them with wads of new notes.

    And in no time, slices of the cake which had lain unattended soon came for the couple in a decorated plate like materials for a laboratory examination. The couple kissed as they shared a small piece of the cake to the admiration and commendation of bemused onlookers.

    Chairman of the reception, Chief Olu Bamisaiye, urged the couple to: “Let your maturity, tolerance and mutual love continue to grow as from this moment so that your union will remain for many others coming behind you an example to copy and emulate. Learn to cover and overlook your weaknesses and mistakes. Discuss issues and never expose secrets of your own family even to the closest of your friends”.

    Olawale said he never doubted that the union would work.

    “She is my love and my life. I have never been the same since I met her. She has mastered me the way only a wife should of her husband,” he said.

    The bride made a vow too: “I love Olawale and he knows I do love him. Today is the official start of a journey we had both started together long ago. I pray for God’s support and guidance on our latest journey together.”

  • Dress Code!

    There is much to support the view that it is clothes that wear us, and not we, them; we may make them take the mould of arm or breast, but they mould our hearts, our brains, our tongues to their liking.”

    These are the words of Virginia Woolf, a British novelist and essayist who lived between 1882 and 1941. It is pointless to argue against the fact that our dressing reflects who we are. As a public speaker, people must first get past your looks before they allow your ideas to get to them. We know first impressions are not always correct but only few people go beyond it to find out who the real person is.

    Thomas Fuller, a British clergyman and author said, “Good clothes open all doors”. If you are not sure it opens “all” doors, I can at least assure you that it opens a lot of doors. There are specific dresses appropriate for specific places but there is something they all have in common- decency. It is very important for you to represent the ideas you advocate. I have the pleasure of sharing with you a book I read on the subject of dress code, as it relates to general values. Interestingly, it is a play and it paints a clear picture of our struggle between what we desire and what is right. Here is a brief profile of the playwright:

    Dr. Goke Okeowo

    Dr. Goke Okeowo is a Chief Lecturer at the Federal College of Education, Okene. With a degree in English, and Masters and Ph.D degrees in Guidance and Counselling, Dr. Okeowo is multi-talented, being a teacher, an author, a playwright, a poet, a music evangelist and a counselling psychologist. Apart from his scholarly publications in national and international journals, he has also published other works such as Obatala, god of creation (a drama) and Orthopaedic Princess (a collection of poetry and anecdotes). This award winning educational administrator and trainer is also a Fellow of the Civilian Institute of Democratic Administration of Ghana (FCIDA-Ghana). I present to you the play titled…

    Dress Code My Arse!

    The play focuses on the journey of a young university fresher, Adesewa. She comes from a god-fearing and disciplined family. The first experience of Adesewa at the Wazobia University is that of culture shock because one of her roommates, Jovita, has a notorious dress sense that is reflective of a lot of other students on campus. Not long after the session begins, the Student Union starts to prepare to elect its officials, having three major contestants for the post of the President- Bature, John Bull and Lukeman Orlando. Unfortunately, the campus cult group prefers Orlando, not because  he is currently a member, but because they believe they can use him to fight their battles, particularly the “stupid dress code” rule that the university management is about to introduce. At a Student Union Congress, the contestants declare their manifestoes but the cultists help Orlando to win. The aftermath of the victory is that the cult starts to operate freely on campus. The most significant of its operations is the attack on the Association of Campus Moralists (ACM) that is fully in support of the dress code rule, with Adesewa as a prominent member. Finally, Orlando’s actions backfire and an impeachment process begins against him. After losing everything, he seeks the help of a counselor who helps him to put the pieces of his life together. In the mean time, Adesewa is seen as a model of what a responsible student should be.

    Significant Points

    Apart from the fact that the play is quite engaging, I find some things to be particularly relevant to public speaking:

    1. Dress Code: a wise man said the way you dress is the way you will be addressed. Your image is a major part of your credibility. As a public speaker, never dress to impress or distract; rather, let your dress complement your message. Your message is what you want your listeners to hear, but your life is what they want to see.

    2. Effective Communication: while delivering the manifestoes in the play, I noticed that the three contestants exhibited three different traits. Bature is incoherent and unsure of himself. He stammers, not because of his nature, but because he is tensed and scared. Not only does he use quotes he is not sure of, some are even out of context. And have I mentioned that he has little control over his emotions? After getting frustrated because people are not favourable towards him, he abuses them all and stamps off the stage. John Bull’s presentation is intelligent and well presented. His challenges, however, include his speech being too long. Lukeman Orlando says nothing in particular, but he uses heavy grammar and lofty expressions that blow the people away. He is careful not to promise anything but the audience is too carried away by the grammar to notice.

    The Foreword of the play Dress Code My Arse! was written by Professor Ayo Akinwale, a lecturer in the Department of Performing Arts, University of Ilorin, a veteran actor and a renowned theatre director. He stated that youths should not throw away the African culture in their contact with Euro-American cultures especially in the area of dressing. He observed that unfortunately, youths overlook the decent manner of dressing in the West just to copy the indecent and shoddy ones. After recommending the play to parents and students, he said, “I hereby recommend this play to institutions of higher learning and to the Nigerian Government as a play for the WAEC or NECO examinations, so that our children could learn a thing or two.”

  • With love from Somalia

    With love from Somalia

    Daughter of the late Chief Erhabor Obaseki Emokpae, Ewemade, got married to Olubode, son of Prof Simi Adekunle Banjoko, at a colourful wedding in Lagos. NNEKA NWANERI was there.

    Ewemade and Olubode met in a somewhat unusual way. According to Ewemade, it was at a dark point in her life. Then her friends thought it was time to stop staying locked in and dragged her to the Radisson Blu Hotel on Victoria Island, Lagos, for a night out. That was where Bode as Olubode is fondly called first met her.

    “After Blu, my friends and I thought it would be a good idea to head on to the discotheque night club. A month later, I received a message from Bode who had somehow tracked me down. We started writing each other and while it took me quite some time to warm up to him, Bode was surprisingly patient and he was very kind,” Ewemade recalled.

    Bode, who had just got out of an on and off relationship came across a picture of Ewemade via a close friend before they met.

    He said: “At first sight, I was very much captivated by her beauty, dimples and style. Finding ‘new’ love was not really on the cards for me at the time, so, I went on with life as normal. I was far away in Somalia then.

    “A few months later, I came home to Lagos for the Christmas break in 2011, and on one of those nights, I went out with ‘the boys’. First stop was Radisson for some drinks and to meet up with other friends. Then, I saw, Ewemade and ‘the girls’. I was carried away; staring at Ewemade for obvious reasons and then began to think she looked familiar.

    “At this point, I remembered ‘Made was the one I had seen in a picture, some months back.’The boys’ and I then went our way to the club for the rest of the night, and guess who showed up shortly after? Ewemade and ‘the girls’! I believe at this point, I started getting the message God had been trying to send me.

    “I went back to Somalia where I was based; I wrote her once, said hello and checked on her, but got no reply until weeks and weeks had passed. We soon became friends; we communicated every day; we clicked and our friendship grew. The communication got addictive; I enjoyed every moment and would always look forward to talking to her. We soon became an item and fell in love.”

    Their love story climaxed into marriage penultimate Saturday in Lagos as former Ewemade and Olubode exchanged marital vows before a large number of witnesses at the 1004 Estate, Victoria Island, Lagos.

    The ceremony was officiated by Rev Canon Banji Egbinola, who spoke on the topic: “How to win God’s approval”.

    After the solemnisation, Bode, clad in a navy blue suit and white inner shirt, led his wife, Ewemade, who was in a fitted shiny gown out of the church and to a reception at the Shell Hall of the Muson Centre.

    Seats were limited for only those who had invitation cards.They were arranged asymmetrically and decorated in black and white striped overlays. There was no high table.

    The hall wore a different look from what it used to be every other time. Old school jamz were dished out by DJ Lami and the Glory Band, too, was on the stand to usher the couple and the bridal train into the gathering.

    Former Director-General of the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) Apostle Hayford Alile chaired the occasion.

    The Gazo Effect thrilled with a spectacular performance of a South African song “Circle of Life”, a sound track from the animated movie Lion King.

    Giving a toast, the Best Man, Chuma Emenike, prayed God to bless his friends with children and led all to click glasses.

    After a while, the bride appeared on stage in another sparkling off-shoulder gown. She looked a replica of R and B songstress Beyonce Knowles. As she sang her solo hit, Fever, she moved about the stage dancing to the rhythm of the song. She looked like a born singer and Bode was sighted on his seat grinnng like a teenager. After the performance, he led other guests to give her a standing ovation, and later led his wife to cut their wedding cake.

  • Still agile at 100

    Still agile at 100

    Madam Lydia Babafunsho Adeyemi was 100 last Monday. Her children, grand-children, relations and guests gathered to celebrate with her at the Christ Apostolic Church in Mushin, Lagos, reports NNEKA NWANERI.

    Monday August 1, was a day of joy, praise and thanksgiving for the family of Madam Lydia Babafunsho Adeyemi as their matriarch turned 100.

    The event took place at the Christ Apostolic Church Mushin, Lagos.  Mama Lydia walked into the church with her children and some of her grandchildren.

    The choir rendered soul-lifting songs and other special church anthems to usher her in. All the societies in in Christ Apostolic Churches were proud to be involved in the celebration. Madam Lydia holds the title of the Distinguished Apostolic  Mother.

    Various groups made presentations. First were the TWC Women, one of the groups in the church, who sang in her honour before presenting a gift. During the songs rendition, the ‘birthday girl’ was seen wriggling her body to the rhythms of the songs.

    The Young Women Christian Association (YWCA), Olorunsogo, was not left out. The group honoured its patroness with songs and dances. The women wore blue uniformed head ties (gele) and ipele of matching colour. They also presented the celebrator a very large portrait of hers.

    During the testimony session, many took turns to speak about what they know about her. Encomiums poured in for her.

    Former chairman of Olorunsogo District of the church, Pastor John Olufemi Oyebamji (rtd) said her attainment of the centenary age was an unusual favour from God.

    Pastor Oyebanji, who is 101 years old, also recalled the early married days of Mama Lydia, when her husband was made Music Master of CAC Ile-Ife, Osun State, where they stayed.

    He spoke of her ability to still read without a pair of glasses, despite her age.

    Former President of the church Pastor John Dada Obafemi and members of the Gideon International Worldwide presented a Bible to the celebrator.

    She gave an account of her life fluently in Yoruba. She remembered vividly every detail as she sat on a chair opposite the congregation. There was a translator and the mini LCDs in the church screened documentaries of her early life. It was buttressed with several pictures of her early days.

    She spoke about the efficacy of prayers in her life; how she suffered for nine years after her marriage in 1938, experiencing several miscarriages and stillbirths before she embraced messages from the Bible and received the covenant of peace from God. She thereafter had four children in quick succession.

    She also shared her joyful and sorrowful moments with guests. She captured their attention as they stared continuously at her bemused.

    After her speech, she danced back to her seat as the choir sang praise songs.

    Reading out Psalm 90, which urges all to number their days and use it judiciously, Chairman of the Church Pastor Steven Folorunsho Obisesan noted that the purpose of the service was  to thank God for the life of the  celebrator.

    “She derived long life and the truth from the word of God and got the earthly profit-long life. She waited and composed herself to realise her gain. Now we can say she is an overcomer,” Obisesan said.

    First son of Mama, Pastor Isaac Adeyemi, in a tribute remembers the 6:00am and 9:00pm prayers at home which he dreaded because of the whips he and his siblings had to suffer if they dozed off. He said despite his rebellious spirit, his mother stuck to her guns and did not allow his behaviour deter her training and moulding of him.

    He described his mother as a tough disciplinarian and the best teacher who groomed him into his life-call: working in the vineyard of God.

    Mama’s daughter Mrs Susan Oremule wrote that her mother’s shoulder is big enough for as many children as possible to lean on.

  • Union of officers’ kids

    Union of officers’ kids

    The cream of the society turned out last Saturday for the wedding of Idris Olabode, son of former Chief of Naval Staff Vice Admiral Ganiyu Adekeye and Aminat Aderonke, daughter of former State Security Service (SSS) Director Col. Kayode Are in Lagos. AMIDU ARIJE and OMOLARA OGUNWALE were there.

    It was a wedding of children of military chiefs. The groom, Idris Olabode, is son of former Chief of Naval Staff Vice Admiral Ganiyu Adekeye and the bride, Aminat Aderonke, is daughter of former Director of State Security Service (SSS) Col. Kayode Are. Their fathers’ friends, colleagues and associates came to share in their joy.

    The Oriental Hotel in Lekki, Lagos was packed full of dignitaries from far and near.

    Aminat, in her white flowing gown and silver earrings, was a beauty to behold. Idris looked radiant in his black suit, white shirt, pink tie and a pair of black shoes to match.

    The reception hall was decorated in various colours of satin material. Big flower vases were placed at strategic positions. Ushers in black and pink gowns led guests into the hall.

    Guests took their seats hours before the couple’s arrival.

    Lagos State Governor Babatunde Fashola arrived early and went round interacting with guests before the couple’s arrival.

    There was no dull moment; guests were entertained by the Shuga Band. Guests nodded their heads in rhythm to the music.

    The couple arrived in a white Infinity Limousine with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. They moved straight to sign the dotted lines at a makeshift registry inside the hotel.

    The bridal train made a grand entry into the reception hall, coming in in a lift.

    The bridesmaids wore pink gowns; the groom’s men were in grey suit, white shirt and pink tie. They danced into the hall.

    The guests, who were eager to catch a glimpse of the couple were surprised not to see them in the train. As they were stil wondering what is happening, the lovebirds entered through the back door to take their seats. They danced to the amusement of the gathering before sitting down.

    The couple’s parents were dressed in wine Aso Oke and cream lace with matching caps and head gears. They danced into the hall to be introduced to the guests.

    The duo of Okundalaiye Ayodele and TEE-A, a comedian anchored the ceremony.

    Ogun State Governor Ibikunle Amosun chaired the occasion. It began with prayers by Dr Segun Akintoye and Alhaji Ahmed Agbaje.

    Amosun enjoined the couple to love each other and be wary of external interference in their affairs.

    “To Aderonke, as from today, your husband is now your dad, respect him; Bode, your wife is now your sister, mum and everything to you; you will both give birth to male and female children,” he said.

    After his speech, Amosun called Fashola, who he referred to as “Class Captain” to supervise the cutting of the cake.

    Fashola joked with guests as he moved to the cake stand. Before performing the function, he urged the couple to love each other and to hold on firmly to Allah.

    He led the gathering to spell LOVE before the couple cut the cake.

    The couple took to the stage to feed each other in their first assignment. Then came dancing time. The bride and her father took the centre stage for the first dance. They were sprayed crisp new naira notes.

    The couple danced their hearts out amid spraying of naira notes by guests.

    The toast was made by Seyi Liz Kanu. He described the groom as friendly.

    Aminat described the day as her happiest, referring to her husband as “a wonderful man”.

    “It is a wonderful day, I am happy and I thank God for this, am very lucky to meet him; he is wonderful,” she said.

    Idris thanked Allah for the day’s success.

    In attendance were former Ogun State Governor, Olusegun Osoba; Bayelsa State Deputy Governor, John Jonah; President Dangote Group of Companies, Alhaji Aliko Dangote; Chairman, Forte Oil, Mr Femi Otedola; Chief Obafemi Olopade; Olorogun-Ide of Lagos, Chief Ismail Oladehinde Folaji; Obanikoro of Lagos, Chief Adesoji Ajayi Bembe and Oluwo Jakande of Lagos, Chief Ibikunle Bailey led the white cap chiefs; Yeye Oge of Badagry Kingdom, Mrs Lara Senami Adeniji Adele-Awhligan; Olukotun of Ikotun-Ile, Kwara State, Oba Abdulrasaq Adedayo Abioye; Chief Executive of Obasky Estate in Lekki, Chief Gbenga Obasa; Prof Dapo Afolabi; Lt. Gen. Alani Akinrinade; Dr Segun Awolowo among others.

     

  • Still charming at 50

    Still charming at 50

    Wife of former Kwara State Governor Bukola Saraki, Toyin, marked her 50th birthday in Ilorin, the Kwara State capital, last Saturday, reports ADEKUNLE JIMOH

    It was not a political gathering, yet it was packed full with politicians. They came from across party divide, with chieftains of All Progressives Congress (APC) leading the way.

    The 50th birthday of Mrs Toyin Saraki, was a fitting statement for the political status of her husband, the doctor turned politician Bukola Saraki, a two-term governor of Kwara State and a senator.

    Ilorin, the Kwara State capital, was agog last Saturday as the Sarakis hosted the high and mighty. Senator Saraki stood beside his charming wife receiving guests who thronged the open field of the Kwara Hotels, venue of the prayer organised to mark her birthday. The Chief Imam of Ilorin, Alhaji Mohammed Bashir, officiated.

    Many guests sporting the chosen Ankara fabrics with the celebrator’s portrait and name sat under the giant canopies on the open field.

    The Chief Imam of the University of Ilorin Mosque, Prof AbdulGaniyu Oladosu, in his sermon, enjoined those in power not to use their office to corruptly enrich themselves but to serve humanity.

    After the service, Mrs Saraki, who founded the Wellbeing Foundation while her husband was in office, presented empowerment tools to some people. She and her husband also cut her birthday cake.

    A reception followed at the Banquet Hall at the nearby Government House.

    An elated Mrs Saraki thanked God and the people of Kwara for the “wonderful” reception.

    Senator Saraki said his family never expected the large turnout.

    “We feel humbled for the large turnout of people and we are very grateful to God. It is a blessing to have this kind of ceremony and people come out to share their time with us. We thank the people of Kwara State and Nigerians for coming to share this special day with us,” he said.

    APC National Chairman Chief John Odigie-Oyegun congratulated the celebrator.

    “When I look at you, I see somebody of extreme excellence, as you have no excuse except to be excellent. A wonderful family yet married to another wonderful family and you look it in every way.

    “Simple but elegant; humble but respectable; as a matter of fact, I got close to your husband before I really got close to you. When you see a man behave the way he does, you know he comes from a home that allows men to behave the way he does, otherwise, he would not do the things he does.

    “Your husband is friendly, very humble and he is most helpful. He is one of the newest friends that I have made and one of those that I depend on most. Meeting you today is a joyful thing. I have met the other half, I don’t want to say the better half of a very great man. My wishes for you are that the happiness that this family brings to others, God will multiply it in your life. God will grant you long and healthy life,” Odigie-Oyegun said.

    At the ceremony were Speaker Aminu Tambuwal; Governors Abdulfatah Ahmed (host); Rochas Okorocha (Imo); Adams Oshiomhole (Edo) and Ibikunle Amosun (Ogun).

    Others are former governors of Ekiti, Osun, Ogun and Kogi states, Otunba Niyi Adebayo; Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola; Aremo Olusegun Osoba and Prince Abubakar Audu; business tycoons Alhaji Aliko Dangote and Femi Otedola.

    Also there were the celebrator’s parents, the industialist Otunba Adekunle Ojora and wife, Ojuolape; the Sarakis’ matriarch, Florence Morenike; House Minority Leader Femi Gbajabiamila; House Committee chairmen on Media and Judiciary, Alhaji Zakari Mohammed and Dr Ali Ahmad; their colleagues Dr Ibrahim Rafiu and Alhaji Mashood Mustapha and former member of the House and activist Dino Melaye.

  • Exit of a ‘virtuous’ woman

    Exit of a ‘virtuous’ woman

    The funeral service for Madam Felicia Oluremi Abina, wife of the General Overseer of Gospel Faith Mission International (GOFAMINT), Elijah Oludele Abina, has been held at the church’s headquarters at Km 40, Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, Aseese, Mowe-Ibafo, Ogun State. OLATUNDE ODEBIYI reports.

    It was the celebration of a life well spent. Notable Christian leaders and members of the Gospel Faith Mission International (GOFAMINT) Worldwide, family members and friends turned out for the ceremony.

    They converged on the headquarters of GOFAMINT at Km 40, Lagos-Ibadan expressway, Aseese, Mowe-Ibafo in Ogun State last Saturday for the funeral of Madam Felicia Oluremi, wife of the General Overseer, Pastor Elijah Oludele Abina. She died in the United States (US) at 75. She is survived by her widower, six children and many grand children.

    Her body was not laid at the service because it arrived late from the US.

    The church hall and its gallery were filled. Guests also sat under a large tent outside the church. The church hall and the tent were decorated with blue, red and white fabrics. The ushers were dressed in either cream shirts and green trousers/skirts; or black skirts/trousers with white shirts.

    The service began with a processional hymn “Great is your faithfulness”, with the choir leading its singing. The ministers and family members entered amid the hymn.  All the ministers wore suit; the choir wore white shirt on navy blue skirt/trousers.

    The children wore gold lace with red head gear/cap; the grandchildren wore blue lace.

    The Bible reading from 1Thessaloninas 4:13-18 was taken by the first son, Folorunso.

    The second hymn: “Praise, my soul, the King of Heaven” was taken next.

    The National President of Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN), Rev Felix Omobude and Chairman of PFN’s Lagos chapter, Bishop Sola Ore prayed for the deceased and her family.

    Chairman of Lagos State Pilgrims Welfare Board Rev Adega Balogun took the second Bible reading from 1 Corinthians, 15: 35-58.

    The children sang in memory of their mother, followed by choir’s ministration.

    In a sermon, The General Overseer, All Christians Fellowship Headquarters, Abuja, Rev Williams Okoye, spoke on “Build your life on values that would last”.

    Rev Okoye urged the gathering to stop being carried away by worldly things.

    “You can die at anytime and you will face God to give account of how you lived on earth. When you think of death, it will help you to re-evaluate and re-examine your life,” he said.

    Evangelist Bola Aare, a popular gospel singer, rendered soul-lifting songs with the congregation singing along.

    The service ended with the recessional hymn: “O Lord of Heaven and earth and sea”.

    Outside the church hall, Layo Daniel Classical Entertainment life band entertained guests.

    Pastor Abina said the most memorable moment with his wife was when they had no child in the early days of their marriage.

    The widower said: “My late wife endured the time and it was wonderful.  Today, we have three boys and three girls. My wife also supported me when I had financial problem and in all things. When I felt sick, she came to the hospital to stay with me, as a matter of fact that was when her sickness started. “She was loving and caring; she is a woman that I cannot forget in my life.

    “When she fell sick, I felt her absence because nobody was like her to me. But one thing I believe is that she did not die; she sleeps and she lives on.”

    Mr Folorunso Abina, the Chief Executive Officer, Micro Alliance Limited in Abuja, said his mother was the closest example of Jesus to him.

    “She was a true servant of God, a genuine and authentic leader that I wish every leader and Christian lives like her. She left the legacy of love, sacrifice and prophecy which she has poured into every one of her children even her grandchildren. I will miss her love and godly counsel,” he said.

    The first daughter, Mrs Olabisi Ogundele, described her mother as loving, generous and accommodating.

    “I learnt many good things from her that helped me in my marital home. I will miss everything about her – her presence, cooking and encouragement,” she said.

    Her last son Mr Femi Abina, Chief Executive Officer, Real Estate Development, described his mother as an awesome human being with unique qualities.

    A son-in-law, Pastor Sunday Ogundele of GOFAMINT in the United Kingdon, described her as a woman that brought to pass the fullness of God in the life of everyone who came around her.

    The reception continued in Pastor Abina’s house at 1/3, Elijah Abina Street, off Lake View Estate Phase Two, Amuwo Odofin in Lagos.

    Her body arrived at night and she was buried around 9am on Sunday.

    A thanksgiving service was held at Pastor Abina’s church, in Mushin, Lagos.

  • Managing difficult conversations

    Welcome to the month of September. I pray that the month will deliver to you your great expectations and desires for the year 2014. If you have achieved the goals you set at the beginning of the year, congratulations, but don’t stop trying to do more. If you have not done too well, you should review your written goals and commit to them. If you have not done anything about the goals you wrote in January, or you didn’t even write any, don’t be discouraged, a lot can still be achieved in four months. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “if you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward”. Perhaps you don’t think you are making as much progress as you would have wanted but the question is, “are you still where you were in January?” If the answer is no, then you have something to be grateful for. Just make sure you keep moving.

    Last week, we discussed about having difficult conversations. When conversations are over-charged with emotions, they mostly become difficult to manage. Sometimes you dread having some discussions and you wish you can avoid them. However, avoiding difficult but necessary conversations can be misleading, unfair, affect other people’s productivity and efficiency, and it can also kill morale. If we hate to have difficult conversations, yet we must have them, how then can we make them less awkward and more effective? Here are a few suggestions:

    • Prepare yourself psychologically: we cannot overemphasize the need for you to be confident when having this kind of conversation. You need to prepare your mind ahead. It is very important for you to take charge of the conversation otherwise you will find yourself on the defensive. Even if you are about to confess that you made an error or you are answering for a poor business decision, you should be in control. One of the major ways to do this is to state that you are aware of your error, claim responsibility and explain what you are already doing or hope to do to remedy the problem. What you have done is to play the judge in your own case, which most people won’t do. However, this works better if you come clean before your error is discovered or if you have not spent all the time defending your action until you realise that there is no escape route.

    • Don’t make it personal: this is particularly important if you are performing an official assignment. Do you remember our little story from last week’s article? Mr. Charles had to break the news of termination of employment to Mr. Smart, who was a company driver in his late 50s, with an ailing wife and nine children. There are two extremes to breaking the news: one person may do so without any consideration at all, after all, it is another person’s job that is being lost, while another individual may have too much sympathy. The best approach is to find a balanced position. While you must deliver the message because you have been instructed to, you can still show that you care. Nevertheless, you must detach your emotion from the conversation so that you don’t take on unnecessary emotional burden. See your office (i.e. Chief Personnel Officer) as the one to deliver the message and not your person (Mr. Charles); that way, you will separate your personal emotion from your job responsibilities.

    • Drop hints: one thing you should try to avoid when having a difficult conversation is sudden outpouring of emotions. When you break unpleasant news suddenly, that is exactly what you will get. So, attempt to drop hints so that the other party can start to figure out the direction of the conversation before you conclude. You can do so by asking subtle questions that can lead to your conclusion. As the individual responds to the questions, he or she will also be trying to think ahead of the discussing. That will at least make the realization gradual. You may also send a message (i.e. email, SMS) with a subtle suggestion of what the discussion will be about. The main aim is to avoid sudden reactions.

    • Don’t prevent reactions: while it is a good idea to avoid sudden outpouring of emotions, we cannot prevent the expression of emotions altogether. When it is sudden, it tends to be excessive, but there is no way a difficult conversation will not be emotional. Never attempt to prevent the other person from speaking or expressing his/her emotions. While that is exactly what you were dreading in the first place, it is still safer that those emotions are expressed rather than bottled in. What you should do is that after you have stated your point, wait patiently until the other person has finished venting his/her anger. If you don’t interrupt, perhaps he/she will soon become exhausted and calm down for you to give further explanation. When the conversation involves your personal relationship with people, it is advisable that you try to rebuild the relationship if you can. Consequently, wait for a while for the emotions to calm, and then go for a follow-up conversation.

    Since every conversation is unique in itself, you may have better ideas of how to deal with difficult conversation. Please send me a message so that we can also explore your ideas and learn from them. Have a great weekend.

  • ‘She is a precious gift’

    ‘She is a precious gift’

    The Nikkah between Faheem Adelani Aileru, a Chartered Accountant and former Miss Nafisat Kofoworade Aderoju was held at the New Great Hall, Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Idi-Araba, Mushin, Lagos. IBRAHIM ADAM reports.

    For Aileru and Aderoju families, it is a day to remember. It was the day their children, Faheem and Nafisat tied the nuptial knot.

    The Nikkah (marriage) was held at the New Great Hall, Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Idi-Araba, Mushin, Lagos.

    Faheem is a chartered accountant with Isiaqu Yaro and Company Limited in Apapa, Lagos; the bride is a graduate of Mass Communication from the Moshood Abiola Polytechnic, Ogun State.

    Guests arrived into the waiting hands of photographers who took their shot. Many dressed in mixed mint green and peach attires with green caps and head gears.

    White chairs were arranged in rows around tables with cream and gold overlays. Waiters in customised tops stood around, attending to guests.

    The event was anchored by Mallam Isiaq Sulaiman, otherwise known as Abu Hikmat. It started with prayer by Amir (President), Muslim Students’ Society of Nigeria, (MSSN) Mushin Central Branch, Mallam Nurudeen Aderoju, around 11:25am.

    The couple were the cynosure of all eyes as they entered the hall. They were accompanied by friends.

    Faheem was in white lace Agbada with blue and white cap and a black pair of shoes. Nafisat was all smiles. She dressed in white lace native, blue head gear, ipele, hand bag, and matching pair of shoes.

    Four children from Madrasatu Ibadur Rahman, Ilasamaja in Mushin, Lagos recited some verses from the Quran.

    The guest speaker, Ustadh Isiaq Olajuwon, stressed the importance of marriage in Islam.

    “Nikkah,” he said, “is compulsory in Islam and a prophetic teaching which must be followed.”

    He enjoined the groom to be patient and the bride to be righteous.

    “Faheem, you need to be patient with your wife no matter the situation. She is as precious as her name implies and you must treat her like a precious gift. Nafisat, be a righteous woman and be obedient. Protect your husband properties, always dress well and make him happy,” he said.

    Olajuwon prayed for the success of their union.

    The solemnisation was supervised by Alhaji Abdul Fattah Mustapha, who asked the groom if he wished to have Nafisat as his wife. He asked the bride the same question and both answered: “Yes, I do”. He also asked the couple’s fathers for their consent and both responded with: “From our heart and with the support of the family, we agree.”

    Alhaji Abdul Fattah declared the lovebirds man and wife, and prayed for them.

    Nafisat described her husband as gentle, intelligent and caring.

    “I am very happy for this day and I thank Allah for making this day possible.” she said.

    Faheem said he adores his wife so much and believes they have been ordained by Allah.

    Ustadh Ismail Kailani enjoined the groom to always show love to his wife.

    Sheikh Nurain Onimasa prayed for the success of the union and presented the couple with their marriage certificate.

    Zainab Sulaiman and Hikmat Sulaiman entertained guests with poems and panegyric.

    The couple cut the cake before moving round to take pictures with family members and friends.

  • Graceful Grace at 60

    Graceful Grace at 60

    It was a twin celebration for Mrs Grace Ibidunni Ojo, who marked her 60th birthday and retirement from the Lagos State University with a thanksgiving at the Divine Christian Assembly Church in Badore, Lagos. BODE MONOGBE was there.

    She was the cynosure of all eyes. Family members, children, friends and guests milled around her. She looked resplendent in her multi-coloured lace outfit. She smiled all through.

    It was the day she turned 60 and also retired. Mrs Grace Ibidunni Ojo, walked majestically into the Divine Christian Assembly at Badore in Lagos for the thanksgiving marking her 60th birthday and retirement from the Lagos State University (LASU).

    The early morning drizzle gave way to a bright, sunny day. The church auditorium was filled. Guests from far and wide, old acquaintances, former colleagues at LASU, members of the academia, relations and children were there to share in her joy.

    Mrs Ojo was described by many as a virtuous woman. She single-handedly managed her home after the death of her husband in 1995. The eldest of her four children was just 13 then. She decided not to remarry but to concentrate on training her children who are all graduates today.

    Besides, through hard work, discipline and prudence, she developed the plot of land which her husband left for the family into an attractive edifice. As a believer in self improvement, she studied hard to obtain a Diploma Certificate in Public Administration from LASU, and Computer Programming from Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education, Ijanikin within the period. She thus became a role model for her children and admirers.

    Her victory over challenges was demonstrated by the cluster of people around to wish her well.

    The soul–lifting songs from the choir and rhythms produced by the instruments electrified the auditorium. It was as if the heavens momentarily came down. It was praises all the way.

    Preaching, Mr Busayo Folarin touched on prudent management of talents and resources picking his text from Matthew 25. He also spoke on vigilance and preparedness, alluding to the actions of the 10 maidens.

    He urged Christians to discover themselves to justify the purpose of creation –dominating the environment and multiplying in resources and talents.

    The celebrator thanked the church for standing by her during her trying period. She particularly appreciated the fatherly role of the General Superintendent,Rev Emmanuel Folarin. She sang and danced to express her joy. Rev Folarin praised God for imbuing in her rare virtues and for seeing her through her challenges. He prayed for her successful retirement and more fruitful years in the service of God.

    The trains later moved to her Egan residence in Iba Local Government Area of the state for reception. Guests enjoyed sumptuous meals, wines, juice and soft drinks with light music blazing from large speakers.

    For Rev. Babajide Alake, who has known the celebrator for upwards of 20 years, Mrs Ojo is a good, caring mother, an incurable giver and a team player.

    “She abhors injustice and promotes fairness. She is very industrious and prayerful,” Rev Alake said.

    A sister–in–law, Mrs Felicia Olabisi Adetayo, described her as “a virtuous woman, a woman like a man, loving, caring and always in good spirit. She takes pleasure in nourishing her children. I can only pray for a long life so that she will enjoy the fruit of her labour. We are very proud of her.”

    A long time acquaintance of hers, Mrs. Toyin Adebayo said: “I call her Aunty because of her closeness to me. She is a mother among mothers. Though she is retired, she is never tired.”

    Her first son, Tunde described her as ‘best mum.’

    He said: “I am proud to identify with her. Despite the stress and challenges that life has presented, she never looked back. Her effort in sponsoring us without help from anyone to school is rare. She can go the extra-mile, denying herself comfort in order to achieve her objective.”

    For her only daughter, Fumbi, an accountant, she is a perfect example of a mother. “She goes the extra mile to achieve the best for her children. She is a disciplined woman,” she said

    Mrs Ojo recalled how she weathered the storm: “I am privileged to operate under the great influence of God. Honestly, I achieved nothing by my own power but that of God.

    “Besides, I believe one must have focus and discipline even in the face of adversities. I also cherish prudence and self-development. This enabled me to guard my loins and train my children, develop our plot of land and obtain two additional diploma certificates – all after my husband’s death. Indeed, it was a success story built around God and discipline.”