Category: Glamour

Alex Okoroji is a woman of many parts. The daughter of Chief Tony Okoroji, former president, Performing Musicians Association of Nigeria, PMAN, shares with ADETUTU AUDU her life as an actress, single motherhood, her failed marriage as well as her wave-making project ‘Alexandra and her naked thoughts’.

What are you working on currently?

Oh well, I’ve been working on a number of incredible things recently. I started my blog ALEXANDRA N’ HER NAKED THOUGHTS at www.alexokoroji.net where I share my honest, crazy and unfiltered everyday thoughts. It’s doing very well and transcends geographical borders. It is getting quite a lot of foreign traffic. What it tells me is that, not only do people connect globally with the subjects of love, life, sex, inspiration and reality. They also value my thoughts and style of writing. I also started writing my upcoming book, THE NAKED EXPERIENCE: From Timid Girl to Confident Woman. It’s sort of a memoir romancing a guide book. But it is an interesting read that will make people laugh, cry and reflect on their own lives through my weird, funny and somewhat shocking life experiences. It will be launched and released in March and then accompanied by a book tour. I also birthed my newest project, my online talk radio show on BlogTalkRadio, “THE NAKED TALK with ALEX OKOROJI”.  It’s really a candid, unscripted, uncensored interactive live show, where I chronicle the naked truth about real issues and real life experiences with some of the most celebrated guests globally as well as regular folks. It will bridge the gap to promote expression and create a presence of mind. Somewhere in the middle, there are my live video broadcasts on Hang W/, my social work with #4NL. I’m also involved in conceptualising and creating content for a few brands.

 Since you had your baby, you took a break from acting. When are we seeing you back?

Yes, I did take a break to raise my son. But I’m still an actor. My son is quite a little man now. And so I’m back to working like my life depends on it.  (Actually, my life and his life depend on it). I recently recorded a number of independent films and I’m just waiting for the producers to premiere them. I’m also hoping I can do more quality film projects. But let’s be honest. I’m not about to jump from location to location, audition to audition trying to kiss ass for something I am clearly born to do. Yes, I love hard work and I love to grind hard for my craft, that being said, there’s a limit to what I’m willing to sacrifice at this stage in my life, as a professional seeking creative fulfilment not cheap fame. If I’m invited to a streamlined screen test and casting by reputable producers/directors who are genuinely looking for an all round actor to cast. I’ll be there in all humility before my call time, do my screening, get the hell out and pray for a call back. But we know half the time, it is usually a bunch of jokers (forgive me) wasting time I do not have enough of. Why call for a grand audition when you are looking for just one character to add to your list of table casts? Or call for serious actors when all you want are extras? (And oh, I do believe no role is too small for a good actor). It’s just the manner in which people try to take advantage of one’s hunger to work. If you are going to offer a new actor a tiny part for a tiny sum, you might as well respect them as human beings and don’t keep them in the sun or allow them to spend 5 thousand for a 10 thousand job (just assuming) I see a lot of fresh actors suffer. It is outright foolishness. Yes, one needs to pay their due, that’s not a reason to be inhumane. I only now want to work with serious film producers, directors and actors who understand not just the technicalities and business, but also the spirit of film making. (If you know what characters you are auditioning for, put it out in the public domain. So the actors can decide if they fit the bill and come in prepared.) Just my naked opinion, anyway.

Your marriage didn’t work out and if you look at Nollywood today, there are so many failed marriages, from your point of view, what is the problem?

My point of view is that marriage is crumbling in every faucet of the different industries, sectors, and tribes. People are simply less tolerant and perhaps more incompatible. The truth is that marriage remains an institution that is more complex than our fickle minds can fathom.

Have you at any point in time regretted that the marriage didn’t work?

I’ll be honest, the only regret I have is not giving my son the complete family he deserves. I sometimes feel like I failed him in that regard. That being said, he’s not alone. I am his mom and his dad and he has guidance and love from his extended family. Plus, I have God’s grace and his unwavering love. When the right time comes, God will give him a real father that will raise him with love. Anything other than that, I only have lessons.

What has motherhood changed in you?

Plenty!!! I simply grew. I probably didn’t change, I just grew up. And I mean that emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. I see life differently and I now embrace my responsibilities whole heartily.

How are you coping as a single mother?

It’s not a walk in the park. It’s not like cooking beans but I’m coping. The naked truth is that being a single mom can be challenging, especially if you are a working mom who needs to bring home the bacon. I don’t come home tired from all the work and traffic and expect someone to massage my feet and give me a back rub. I just come reminded that if there’s an ache in my knee or back. I take panadol, check on my son and go to bed.  That’s my reality. But I’m not complaining.

You mentioned on social media that you were treating depression. What exactly happened, why were you depressed?

I never said I was treating depression, that’s a clinical diagnosis. I was never diagnosed of depression. What I said was that I took a break because I was dealing with depression. And there are so many ways we get the feeling of depression and several sources too (anger, resentment, fear, guilt, pain, abandonment, conflict etc) and that tend to happen to most first time mothers, especially if they have a job like mine in the spotlight. Let’s be honest, I was the quintessential IT girl in 2009. (I mean almost everyone thought I was somewhat smoking hot for whatever ridiculous reasons best known to them).  So I was a budding working actress, a rising star and then I got married and pregnant and everything changed instantly. I lost my initial appeal. My body, my mood, my marriage and I had a tiny tot I didn’t know what to do with. I wanted to work so badly. I mean on TINSEL, I used to go to work with my big belly until my character, Susan, could no longer be shown and I had to do voiceovers. I love working. So to be stuck in a country where I was relatively unknown, without my support system and the people I was used to seeing day in day out, I sunk low. And delivering my child through a Ceasarean section just didn’t make the transition easy. I was constantly in pain and I didn’t know how to jerk myself back to work. You can say it was a case of post partum depression.

Let us talk about Alex and her naked thoughts, at what point did you conceive the idea?

It is pretty strange. I think it was when I moved back from Ghana in 2011. And I was feeling a lot of frustration and I needed to vent/channel my emotions, thoughts and pain somewhere. Unfortunately, seeing a psychologist or shrink to help us deal with the changes in our emotional health, is not a culture here in this part of Africa. So, I became my own hero and started writing to help myself heal and reclaim back my life. So, all those face book notes and BBM broadcast gave birth to the challenge that pushed me to start my blog in January. And now I’m comfortable and at peace with myself. I’m using my thoughts to also influence and help others express themselves.

You studied Biochemistry but have passion for the arts. Are you not missing your calling?

Where did you get that from? Missing my calling ke? I’m actually in the exact industry I was called to be from the moment I was formed as a baby. I did a post on my blog a few months ago “How I Miss Those Days….” I wrote about my early creative days from being pink house inter house sport princess, a member of the Atilogu Dance Troupe, The Igbo Cultural, Yoruba Cultural, Drama Club and Press Club in primary school to being Green house cup bearer, Blue house queen, the only junior student in the entire FGGC Akure to be an active performing member of the Music Club, Drama Club and Press Club at the same time. I represented my school in debates and mimed at inter different school events. I wrote short novel series in SS1, never commercially published but read by my school mates and I wrote poetry and songs. I have an archive of 55 unpublished songs solely written by me and I used to be the lead singer of an underground musical girl band “The Alternates”, I performed in a number of school plays. So the way I see it, this didn’t just start today or even at AMBO. It’s not a deviation. It is who I am. I’m the daughter of a musician. So many people forget that Tony Okoroji was actually a “performing” musician. He didn’t only sing or write hit songs, he played musical instruments too, a fantastic song writer and music/show producer. I’m his first child, where do you think I get my creative genes from? Despite his brilliant mind and administrative skills, he is still an artiste and everything he does is coloured by that artistic creativity. Same goes for me. My mom wanted me to be a doctor and I tried to challenge myself in that direction. But guess what, I’m an artiste. And anyone who knows me very well enough will tell you I’m a natural at its finest. It’s not forced. It took me a long time to accept the gifts of my talents and harness them into skills, knowing it’s possible to be gifted at many things and execute them with the same level of excellence and passion. That’s why I’m not in a hurry to compete with all those chasing fame my goals are clearly different. I’m an entertainer with value.

Did your dad’s life as a musician influence your choice of career in anyway?

Yes it did. I grew up in a house hold coloured with books and movies. I grew up listening to different genres of music and reading all sorts of great books. I was exposed to having celebrities around the house and going to a number of high profile functions/awards even at a young age. That definitely expands your creative taste, exposes your mind artistically and forms your creative decisions.

What was growing up like, with a father like him?

He has always been a very busy man. He wasn’t always around. But whenever he was, we definitely felt his presence.

Aside acting and blogging, what else puts food on your table?

My world revolves around the creative industry. I started professional writing by writing screenplays for movies and content for TV. I still do even though it’s quite hectic juggling all my writing gigs. I also do copy writing for brands. I’m a voice talent, so I record and script voiceover and jingles. I’m a television host, used to host three separate TV programmes. I host red carpet events. I started doing lots of public speaking and compering events as a ‘Mistress of Ceremony’ and I’m top of promoting #TheNakedExpression. (It’s really my clamour for honest, sincere expression, so people can be open and embrace who they really are). I produce documentaries and I create concepts and contents for brands, TV and events. I also have a production company FUSCHIA HOUSE that manages all of these. And most recently, I’m involved in the Campaign for New Lagos (#4NL).  Let’s just say I have my table full with work. I’m simply uninterested in courting unnecessary attention. My focus right now is to reap the financial reward for all the hard work I put in everyday and expand my influence.

What is the craziest thing a fan has done to you?

Someone once asked me that and I said a fan proposed to me. Actually that’s not new, neither is it crazy. I get all sorts of messages on social media, and I’m sure I’m not the only celebrity to get proposals from fans. I used to a write up a series called THE DAILY QUICKIE, it’s not about sex but I use sexual innuendos to inspire people. Yet some mischievous fans have tried sending me nude pictures of their private genitals. I stopped finding it irritating. I just think it’s amusing when people translate my ‘naked thoughts’ so literally.

What are your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement right at the top of the list is my son. No amount of money, awards, accolades or praises can equate to him. I can now follow it up by saying that configuring/designing/creating my blog all myself using just a blackberry mobile phone (Z10) is a major achievement because I had no prior knowledge of web development or designing or Java script coding et al, neither did I understand how the online world works. It has become my home and I am very proud of the two months it took me to figure it all out by myself, albeit many sleepless nights. Google was my best friend. Would you ever believe my entire weblog www.alexokoroji.net was configured by me using a phone?