The Nation Newspaper

Category: Wellness/Living.

Wholesome, healthy lifestyle tips.

  • Five reasons online dating might not be such a good idea

    Five reasons online dating might not be such a good idea

    For Ladies Only

     

    Only yesterday, I got a funny call from a guy I have never met. He said that he got my number online and would like us to date. Unfortunately (for him) I am married (and happily too), putting an end to that request. That got me thinking about a topic that keeps popping in and out of my head and sometimes comes up in conversations. Is really a good idea to go online, primarily for dating purposes? With all the people we meet at school, at work, church/mosque, in the bus  and so on, is it really that hard to meet new people? I wonder, if a person can’t meet new people any other way, I hope he/she has nothing to hide. You can call me old-school if you like, but the idea of someone I have never set my eyes on calling me out of the blues to ask for a date gives me the creeps. Why? Please continue reading.

    1. Online interaction, or friendship blinds one to a fact we grew up hearing our mothers drill into our young minds, “A stranger is someone who is capable of harming you.” We equate acquaintance or any form of interaction with friendship, and it’s a big mistake. Most of our friends are people we grew up with, went to school with, colleagues, former colleagues and so on. This traditional method means that you know people who know your friend, and have an idea of the kind of person you are dealing with. But with online friends, you are dealing with a totally unknown entity.

     

     

    1. In today’s fast paced, high tech world, meeting strange people online can be very risky. Think back to Cynthia, the Nigerian babe who was kidnapped, and later murdered by a guy she met online, and flew in to Lagos to meet. The poor girl had no idea that she was dealing with a fraudster, and murderer. The internet has become a free and easy highway for psychopaths and criminals to operate virtually without trace, especially in a porous environment like ours.

     

    1. Online dating is unnatural because a major part of human communication is not only verbal communication (speech), but also includes things like tone of voice, body language and the like. Women are created with a natural sense of intuition that often protects us (and our loved ones) from danger, but dealing with someone without face-to-face , and other physical forms of interaction makes it harder to be intuitive. Online communication lacks this feature and makes it difficult, if not impossible to make value judgments for ourselves about the person you are dealing with.

     

     

     

    1. It is hard to verify, ie do a background check on the person you are chatting with. In foreign climes, people are often warned, and given guidelines about dealing with strangers they meet online. Sometimes, as human beings our emotions blind us from seeing the truth before our very eyes, but with the evidence of other people, eyes are opened to the truth. For instance, in a regular relationship, a lady’s visit to a guy’s office, or home can lead to chance meeting with his friend who can inadvertently drop the truth that the guy is married yet conveniently forgot to tell his girlfriend, online relationships don’t accord nearly as much opportunity.

     

    1. Many people have been found to give false information about themselves, some use photos of other people, and sometimes build false profile info. It is hard to continually lie to a person you see over a period of time without making a mistake, telling a mismatched lie and so on, even the body language of a liar can trigger suspicion in the person being lied to. With online communication, it is much harder to tell, sometimes, almost until it is too late.

     

    Having said all the foregoing, I must agree that quite a number of relationships have been spawned by the internet, and led to marriage, but then again, it is still important to take care.

     

  • How to remove the friction when you wear heels

    How to remove the friction when you wear heels

    Hack for the week

    Ever been in a situation where you felt that your feet were killing you because of friction between your feet and shoes?

    Banish the experience with this tip. Add a sprinkling of baby powder to you shoes, this soaks up any moisture, which helps keep your feet from slipping around in your heels. By eliminating friction, it prevents blisters.

  • Pork, Poison or Food? Part 1.

    Pork, Poison or Food? Part 1.

    Pork, which is the flesh of pigs is a delicacy enjoyed in many parts of the world, a practice frowned upon by the three major world religions; Christianity, Islam, and the Jewish Orthodox faith .  Every day, millions of people consume three square meals, intended to power their bodies throughout the day. However, in the hustle and bustle of our modern society, these meals are increasingly becoming more processed and less natural than at any time in history. How is this affecting society’s overall health? The result can be seen in the explosion of sickness, disease and overall lack of good health.  Yet most people never make the connection between their diet and their health status, and are doomed to a lifetime of illness and fatigue.

    Yet decades ago, Dr. Maurice C. Hall, Zoology Chief at the U.S. Public Health Service, stated, “It appears to be a legitimate demand that, when a man exchanges dollars for pork, he should not do it, on the basis that he may be purchasing his death warrant.” Although the good doctor made this statement many years ago, one wonders if the pork purchased today is much leaner and healthier (as breeders and suppliers would want us to believe).

     

    Much of the problem is directly tied to a social ignorance of health, diet and our bodies. Modern science has not helped. In a discussion relating to health and diet, one nutritionist stated that the link between what one eats and how one feels has been blown out of proportion. She went on to state that the origin of sickness is unknown, and that this is the reason we have doctors. But what have doctors and medical science been able to accomplish? Very few illnesses and diseases are actually cured, and fewer still are prevented! Western medicine has been designed to react to an illness, and not help one prevent illnesses and maintain health.

     

    Many assume that trichinosis is uncommon in the modern day. This is mostly due to the fact that this disease is extremely hard to detect in humans. So-called experts will argue that properly cooking pork at 167 degrees Fahrenheit will destroy the bacteria and worms in it. However, most who cook pork are not as careful as those conducting a laboratory study. Simple organisms like these worms are remarkably resilient and just cooking the pork does not make it safe. Even more surprising is the fact that some people even eat half cooked, or raw (aka rare) pork.

    And some of these parasites, like trichinosis, can be incredibly hard to detect. Former chairman of the New York Trichinosis Commission, Senator Thomas C. Desmond, stated, “Physicians have confused trichinosis with some 50 ailments, ranging from Typhoid Fever to Acute Alcoholism. That pain in your arm or leg may be arthritis or rheumatism, but it may be trichinosis. That pain in your back may mean a gall-bladder involvement, but it may mean trichinosis.”

    How the Human Body reacts to animal fat

    Another interesting fact about pork is related to how the human body digests animal fat. The process is called hydrolysis. Studies show that when you eat animal fat, it undergoes a conversion process that changes it from beef fat, for instance, into human fat, the form in which it is stored in the body. This allows the body to remove some of the toxins, and to create tissue that is able to be converted into energy when needed.

    Yet, pork is not subject to hydrolysis. Anytime you eat pork, whether as chops or sausage, its fat is stored in the body as PORK FAT! As we have seen, fat stores much of the toxins. Therefore, you are storing the most toxic form of the animal! When the body does not know how to deal with something, like toxins—it isolates it. In the case of toxins, it stores them in fat. Since your body was never designed to ingest swine fat, it does not know how to do deal with it. So it isolates it, unchanged as pig fat on your body!

     

    And this tissue is not even useful for energy. To convert these pork fat deposits into usable energy, the body must burn up large amounts of glucose, an essential element of brain function. This can lead to a feeling of chronic hunger, which leads to the consumption of more meat, and the vicious cycle continues. Studies have also shown that those who regularly eat pork are more prone to ulcerous skin infections. This should not be surprising, because ulcerous skin infections are COMMON on living pigs and cooking does not kill all the worms and parasites in pork.

     

     

     

    Next week, the real purpose of pigs, and the millennia old guide book of human nutrition.

  • Never put these on your face, ever

    In a world of tips from beauty junkies, and make up enthusiasts, it’s hard to decide what you should and shouldn’t do. You could try to do everything yourself, but there are some things you should probably leave to professionals. A lot of those things involve skincare.

    There are great skincare DIYs out there, like making avocado face masks and using coconut oil as a moisturizer. But there are a lot of terrible ones that include ingredients that should never even go near your lovely face. Some kitchen ingredients are totally fine, but please leave the following out of your beauty routine.

    Lemons

    We, too, used to be fans of lemons as a skin-brightening ingredient. That is until we realized it’s actually super damaging to the skin. It’s true: lemon juice can brighten your skin. However, it’s highly acidic and dangerous to your skin. Lemon juice can cause severe dryness, burning, blisters, and even phytophotodermatitis, which is basically a serious burn that occurs when certain botanical substances react with UV rays. It is horrible, painful, and absolutely not worth it. If you want to lighten your skin or get rid of hyperpigmentation, use an actual brightening or lightening cream.

    Baking soda

    There are tons of DIY face scrubs and masks with baking soda as an ingredient. We’ve used it on our faces before. But baking soda has a pH of 9, meaning it can strip all the good acid out of your face, increase dryness, and end up causing your skin to overproduce oil. Some people swear by using baking soda as an exfoliant, but it can cause serious long-term damage to your skin.

    Eggs

    Putting egg whites in your face mask probably won’t make your skin fall off, but using eggs in combination with other ingredients can cause adverse reactions. Your biggest worry is being exposed to salmonella. While eggs are fairly safe and can tighten your skin, if they’re not preserved correctly, you may experience not-so-pleasant results. If you really want to utilize eggs in your skincare routine, there are plenty of options you can get at your favorite beauty store that contain the correct ingredients and preservatives.

    Hairspray

    Have you ever heard this tip?  “Use hairspray as a setting spray” Hopefully not, but if you have, don’t do it, I beg you. Hairspray is meant for one thing: your hair. While it’s safe to tame your flyaway strands, it’s packed with chemicals that keep those hairs in place. Literally save face and buy yourself a setting spray or powder so you can safely lock in your makeup.

    Sugar or salt

    Sugar and salt are awesome exfoliating ingredients for your body. Mix some coconut oil with brown sugar, and you’ve got a killer body scrub. But don’t you dare put those granules on your face. They are too harsh for the skin on your face, which is thinner and more sensitive than the skin on your body. The granules are too large and jagged, which can cause abrasions to your face. Err on the side of caution and reach for an exfoliant that’s actually meant for your face.

    Cinnamon

    Many beauty bloggers claim that cinnamon is the perfect ingredient for getting rid of acne, dark spots, and hyperpigmentation. In fact, a popular French vlogger featured a video of her DIY cinnamon mask. When her fans tried it, many experienced serious burning, blisters, dryness, and redness. Too much cinnamon can even cause permanent damage, according to dermatologists.

    Foot cream

    As anyone who has ever attempted to will tell you, using foot cream instead of face moisturizer could really mess up your skin. How? Well, foot cream is designed for your feet, which has the toughest skin on your body. Foot cream is thick and is packed with ingredients that are not meant for your face, since it’s made to break down hard calluses. If you use foot cream on your face, you’ll likely clog your pores and wind up with a bunch of pimples.

    Mayonnaise

    Mayonnaise works well as a DIY hair mask, but it’s not as great as a face mask. While it will make your hair super shiny and soft after 20 minutes, it will leave your face feeling greasy. Mayo, much like foot cream, is too thick for your face, can clog your pores, and will make you break out. Save it for your hair, salads, and sandwiches.

    Generally, just be smart about what you’re putting on your skin. If you find something that works for you, great! But if you are going to try a new ingredient, do so sparingly and test out a spot applying it all over your face.

  • How to freshen your veejay, naturally

    Every woman wants every part of her anatomy to smell nice, including her lady parts, I mean vagina. Perfume won’t work there so what do you use? A simple secret is garlic. Peel a single clove of garlic and pass a threaded needle through it for easy retrieval, after pricking the garlic a few times with the needle. Push it up your vagina, and leave it there for a couple of hours or overnight, and voila you have fresh scented vagina even if you just got out of bed.

    Simply pull out the thread to remove the garlic.

  • Avoid these risky everyday foods for good health

    These are probably in your kitchen right now, but that doesn’t mean you should eat them. While shopping for food you have probably scratched your head over the long, strange ingredients listed on package labels. Even the most health-conscious shoppers can have a tough time knowing which canned or boxed foods to avoid. That’s why it’s so important to build your diet around whole, fresh foods like fruits and veggies, your diet should also include plenty of nuts and legumes, whole grains, skinless poultry and fish, low fat dairy products

    A healthy diet shouldn’t include any of the following healthy eating pitfalls.

    Mistaking margarine for a healthy fat

    Even though margarine contains less saturated fat, many varieties contain trans-fat, especially hard margarines Proving the myth that margarine is a smart replacement for butter. Trans fat increases LDL, or “bad” cholesterol and decreases HDL, or “good” cholesterol. Most brands are high in salt.

    Avoid bacon

    A diet high in red and processed meats has been linked to higher rates of obesity, heart disease and colon cancer. In fact, eating just two ounces of processed meats like bacon per day may increase your colon cancer risk by up to 17 percent. For a savory breakfast side, opt for fresh vegetables in your morning toast, and add nuts to your oatmeal.

    Stop drinking both regular and diet soda

    Regular soda contains various types of sugar. In fact, a can of soda may actually be up to 60 percent fructose. All that sugar can actually increase your risk of diabetes, promote tooth decay, and increase your waistline. Sugar contains empty calories which mean that it raises your daily calorie intake without providing any real nutrients.

    Choose a new snack

    Microwave popcorn contains high levels of salt and the chemical diacetyl. Diacetyl gives popcorn its butter flavor and it’s just one of almost 50 chemicals that get released into the air when popcorn heats up. While small doses of diacetyl may be harmless, but exposure to large amounts can be dangerous to your health.

    Avoid unregulated energy drinks

    From 2007 to 2011 alone, over 20,000 Americans were sent to the emergency room thanks to energy drinks. Energy drinks may be marketed as “supplements” to avoid FDA regulation. Supplements don’t have to list their ingredients or nutrition facts and get to avoid food regulatory bodies safety testing.

    Avoid canned and instant soups/foods

    The daily recommended limit for salt or sodium is 2,300 mg for healthy adults. Some people, like those with heart disease, should consume less than 1,500 mg a day. But with a can or package of instant soup, it’s possible to consume most or all of that in one sitting.

  • How to deal with partner who has no ambition

    DEAR Harriet, Please, I need your counsel on how to handle a boyfriend who lacks ambition. I am in a relationship in which I seem to be pushing him always.

    This is draining me emotionally. Help!

    Name withheld,

    Lagos.

     

    Thanks for sharing your situation with us. One of the most common challenges in some relationships is the issue of ambition or no drive and this cuts across both male and female. We must commend you for being very detailed and observant. A good number of people are in a relationship with clouded vision not to be able to tell themselves the true situation of things for  the fear of the unknown.

    Your situation can be a very difficult one because on one hand, you may be in love and just want to accept your boyfriend for who he is. Yet there is also the reality side of the situation where you have to look at your expectations from the relationship.

    Everyone, man or woman, enters into a relationship with some expectations. It is always of great help to make these expectations explicit. A better way to describe the situation is to ask yourself what you truly want. However, as you think through the question, it will be nice for us to list out some of the reasons why your boyfriend may lack ambition:

    Lack of confidence to take risks and chances: Some people find it very challenging to leave their comfort zone. What they don’t know, they don’t attempt. Another factor might be that they don’t have role models to push them towards excellence.

    He might be too content with who he is. He does not want more out of life. Too many repeated failure experiences have led to a current state of complacency. He might also be the cause for his lack of ambition.

    In addition, he may not feel smart enough or competent to attempt new challenges. Other factors are laziness, upbringing and fear of success. He might have the feeling that he is ambitious,but that you are pushing him to be something he is not.

    The next step is what to do. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself whether or not you are trying to change your boyfriend to what he is not. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing bad to wish and want the best for your boyfriend or your spouse. The truth is that you must put a lot of things into consideration. For example, if your partner/ spouse is not strong academically, but you want him to study a particular course, you may be leading him and yourself down a path of destruction. Try to look at the person’s strength and encourage him or her instead. As a matter of fact, you will have to understand what your needs are and whether or not your boyfriend can meet them,

    In your case, the solution may lie within you, and not your boyfriend and the resolution to your frustration may need to be a change in your own expectations. Moreover, have a conversation with him about your feelings and let him know how it is affecting you in a warm and compassionate manner, not an accusatory nor blaming one since he may become defensive and nothing will be accomplished.

    You may also want to discuss some of the above possible factors that might be the reason for his lack of ambition because some people don’t know why, until they are told. May be you might just be the drive and motivation that he needs to wake up. In the process of discussing the issue, it is also very important to know how to approach the situation in terms of what to say.

    You can start your conversation by showing concern about your future together by acknowledging the fact that you both have so much going on for your relationship. Mention his strength, then encourage him on how to achieve more.

    Try as much as possible to avoid the following while discussing the issue: don’t make him / her feel inadequate or inferior. This cannot benefit him or the relationship. Avoid raising your voice in the process. It will make him defensive.  Don’t compare him with others- comparison will make him feel terrible and lower his self-esteem.

    One thing is certain. You can’t force ambition and it won’t happen by comparing him to someone else. Try not to monopolize the conversation. Learn to listen attentively to what he has to say and his perception of his drive and ambition. He may not see things the way you do. Bear in mind that personality differs and must be treated as such.

    In conclusion, if you follow this approach, it becomes evident that you care and want the best for your relationship. If your boyfriend does not take the issue serious, but gives you the attitude of this is who I am, you either take it or leave it. Then, the decision is really yours to make.

    If you decide to stay, you know what you have, that is, to say you must resolve your resentment and accept his limitations because expecting more may be unrealistic. On the other hand, it may require some serious thought and difficult decision about possibly ending the relationship.

    The truth of the matter is that you have to be honest to yourself about what you want for the future and act on it. Take care of yourself and each other.

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her blog; www.liwh.com.ng, text messages only 08054682598 or bineharriet@gmail.com.  You can follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj and instagram: harrietogbobine.

  • 3 Reasons you should not fund him.

    Today we will be discussing a very contentious topic, “To fund or not fund”. It might seem like a tricky question but it is never a good idea to buy love, especially if you are a woman. Why on earth should a woman give a man (who is not even her husband) her money? Not a good idea at all! Back in the day, men took care of their wives and families, and ruled their households like mini fiefdoms. Times have changed, and women now make their own money, but men still expect us to submit, so what do we do? We submit, if only for the sake of peace. However, if a woman has to foot the bill, she has become the boss, not just a helpmate. So why do I think so?

     

    The man was designed to be the head in every marital/amorous relationship, and if he is the leader, he should foot the bills (or at least a large part of it). Why? Because money is power, whoever has it controls the power dynamics of the relationship. In all my years, I am yet to come across a man who is happy to be fed or funded by a woman, they might date (or even marry) a woman for her money, but trust me more often than not they will find a less financially buoyant woman to spend their change on, so as to feel like men.

     

    Giving a man your money puts you at risk of attracting gold diggers/gigolos. Only yesterday, I read the story of a divorced silver spoon celebrity chick. She said, “I really loved him, but when I had a financial challenge, he took off. Apparently, that was all he wanted.” Guess what, the guy in question is remarried to a younger woman today. Speaking further, she said, “I have never dated a man for money, however in another relationship; a man took my hard earned money, and ran.” Guess what? Her story is nothing new, I am yet to see an instance where the woman funded the relationship and it worked out. The only female relative I know who tried it put a man through university, clothed, housed and fed him, his mom, and siblings for years, while he was unemployed. When he finally got a job, she never set eyes again on him; after three kids.

     

    You can never really tell if it is you he loves or your money. Modern females are educated and independent, but marriage demands that we submit to our man. How does a person submit to a man one is feeding? More often than not, such women become / are accused of being shrewish, and the men feel justified in taking off. What about an old friend of mine who dated a guy while she was putting herself through the university. She would feed him, and spend her heard earned savings on him, guess the first thing he did after he graduated? That’s right, he dumped her. Obviously he never loved her, only her money. My advice? Do yourself a favour, and find yourself a man who has a job. Oh, and just in case he attempts to turn you to his ATM; dump him.

     

  • What Exactly Are Blackheads?

    What Exactly Are Blackheads?

    Blackheads are really a specific type of acne, triggered by sebum (otherwise known as face oil) production. If a clogged pore “remains open to the air, the oils in the pores oxidize to a black color, which is why we called them ‘open’ comedones or blackheads.”Here are tips to deal with black heads. Before you can begin to start treating blackheads, it’s a good idea to actually know what you’re dealing with. As you can’t really fix a problem when you don’t know what’s causing it.

    Keep in mind that they aren’t composed of dirt stuck in your pores. It’s really just the natural oil from your skin, turned a darker color.

    Those May Not Be Blackheads
    Also not all large pores have blackheads. Also, not everything that comes up when you press your pimples are blackheads either. Grab a magnifying mirror and take a (much) closer look. You may just have microscopic hairs that look like blackheads. A visit to your dermatologist, to tell the difference between the two diagnoses, can make the difference in getting rid of these spots.

    Sebaceous Filaments

    Besides microscopic nose hairs, you could have sebaceous filaments. These, instead of turning black, are clear. Sebaceous filaments don’t oxidize like blackheads do, meaning they don’t have the telltale color change. Sebaceous filaments are like blackheads, in that they both have condensed oil and skin scales, but they aren’t totally congealed like blackheads. Sebaceous filament material may congeal into a true blackhead, and most blackheads have had former lives as sebaceous filaments. With proper cleansing and care, however, sebaceous filaments can be softened, dissolved, and/or lifted up and out of the oil gland ducts.

     

    Blackheads Can Show Up Anywhere
    Not all blackheads live on your nose. You can get blackheads anywhere you can get a pimple; they’re just more common near the oiliest parts of your skin. In fact, blackheads regularly show up on areas besides the nose and chin. To be honest, most people can have blackheads on the face, chest, and back. Blackheads are dependent on many different factors. A combination of the thickness of your sebum, the stickiness of skin scales, and how well both can move through the pore. Oil and scale production amounts, and qualities vary from place to place on the skin and, in the same person, vary over time due to developmental and hormonal factors.

     

    Topical Treatments To Bust Through Blackheads
    So by now, we know blackheads are made up of oil and skin scales getting stuck in a pore. When you’re a hormonal teen with an especially oily T-zone, it may seem like there is nothing you can do to quell the oil. And, for many, that may just be true unless they turn to hormonal regulation through something like the birth control pill.

    Even if you can’t stop your skin from being oily, you can help to keep that pore from getting clogged in the first place. Adding a retinol in your nightly regimen, exfoliation using an at-home peel to remove dead skin cells, and products with salicylic acid like cleansers, and spot treatments are your best bets for treating your blackheads at home.

     

    Search for these three specific skin-care ingredients:

    Salicylic acid, glycolic acid, and vitamin A. Salicylic and glycolic acids work well together to decrease oil production and vitamin A (found in retinols) is a great exfoliant. Prescription-strength varieties of vitamin A are sometimes necessary if the acne is severe, but during harmattan months, use over-the-counter versions of retinol.

     

    DIY Treatments For Blackheads
    But if you aren’t into buying lots of new products, you can also look to DIY treatments for acne. Here are a few concoctions for treating blackheads with ingredients you may find in your own kitchen.

    Turmeric mask

    Combine turmeric powder with chickpea flour, and plain yogurt to create an easy DIY mask. It’s what Indian brides bathe in the day before their big wedding day.  Apply the mask for 10 minutes, and then rinse it off to avoid staining towels with the bright yellow pigment of turmeric. You’ll notice the improvement in the blackhead acne, as well as the overall complexion of the skin within the first 48 hours. It works great and is pregnancy safe!

    Oatmeal and Honey Mask

    Combine oatmeal and raw honey, mix in with filtered or distilled water, and apply as a mask. This can pull out sebum.” This type of mask is great for sebaceous filaments.

  • Straighten velvet outfits with this

    Straighten velvet outfits with this

    You had intended to wear a lovely velvet outfit to an event, but it’s rumpled, and ironing can’t get out the wrinkles. What do you do?

    Simply hold the outfit over a pot of boiling water, or leave in your sauna for five minutes, and it will be as good as new. Why? The steam raises the pile of the fabric, making it look as smooth and lustrous as it was when you bought it.