90+3 min In dark times, laugh at the misfortune of someone else; at Wembley, Burnley have scored a last-minute equalise. However bad Arsenal get, they’ll always have Spurs.
90+2 min Gary Neville gives man of the match to Salah, not Can. Fair either way.
90+1 min Salah finds himself running at Holding again; it’s just bullying now. And with the defender expecting him to come inside, he instead lashes a shot with Cech tips over. The corner comes to nowt.
90 min There shall be three added minutes.
90 min It’s impossible to understate how good Arsenal have been today.
89 min Arsenal win a free-kick on the left which Ozil curls in; Giroud is up first but gets underneath it and hairstyles well over the top.
87 min “’Koscielny, Holding and pals’” tweets Hubert O’Hearn, quoting me back to myself. “Are we sure they’re pals? They play like they’ve only just met one another.”
That’s the thing with Arsenal; they fall in love quickly and out of love slowly.
87 min Karius launches himself at a corner and punches clear! Wahey!
85 min “One recent escapee who might be looking back at Arsenaland thinking he’d dodged a few bullets is Gabriel Paulista,” emails Charles Antaki. “On the other hand, he’s facing Real Madrid away tonight.”
I thought you’d never ask! Join me for live MBM coverage, from 8.15BST! Gabriel is yet another failed central-defensive purchase from Arsene Wenger; in 21 years at Arsenal, is Sol Campbell, an no-brainer, his only unqualified success?
83 min Sky catch Sanchez sniggering on the Arsenal bench; time for all the body language experts to decide what that means, when for all they know, David Ospina has just let one rip.
81 min Welbeck finds Xhaka – not a bad effort, 80 minutes hiding in plain sight – and he snatches at a shot which skids wide.
GOAL! Liverpool 4-0 Arsenal (Sturridge 78)
This is another lovely goal. Gomez starts the move on the right touchline and the ball moves infield to Firmino and then Can, who’s been excellent. He eventually finds Salah outside him, and a measured, studied cross picks out the path of Sturridge at the back post. Even so, there’s plenty of work to do, and he does brilliantly to catch up with it, crane his neck, and guide a header into the net.
Sturridge scores number four. Photograph: Phil Noble/Reuters
77 min Arsenal get the ball in the Liverpool half but Welbeck slows down the play and they can’t recapture the pace.
75 min “I’m not always a big Hendorson fan – lots of energy, often erratic,” says Richard McGahey. “But he has been great today. Constantly moving into good positions filling spaces intelligently and super-aggressive on the ball.”
Agreed, he has played well, though in circumstances unfeasibly conducive to the same. He’s a good player, just not an elite player; no shame in that.
74 min Change for Liverpool: off goes Mane, and on comes Sturridge to score the seventh. I doubt Koscielny, Holding and pals will welcome that adjustment.
73 min Holding ploughs through Henderson before he can get away from him and is booked.
70 min Liverpool’s pressing is far too much for Arsenal’s back-however many. This time, Salah dips infield and flips a ball in behind; Holding allows it to bounce, because … well your guess is as good as mine. Mane charges through him, tries to clip a finish over Cech, who gets a touch, and Bellerin slides it off the line.
69 min Welbeck pulls right and knocks back for Ozil on the edge of the box. He flights a corss towards the back post, where Giroud and Lacazette gather, the presence of the former allowing the latter to side-foot a volley just wide.
u try this not naming the referee game when Mike Dean was officiating,” emails JR. “He’d find out and you’d be in for a major league upbraiding.”
If it came complete with gesticulations, my work on this planet would be complete.
67 min Liverpool have slowed a little. I’d still expect them score again, mind, closer to the end once Arsenal are demoralised yet further.
65 min Karius botches another kick. A footballer, required to impart foot to ball; who could possibly have anticipated such shocking requirement.
64 min “Ironically named footballers?” tweets booboo_76. “You forgot Dennis Wise.”
The man who started the kids on laps of honour nonsense. He deserves our displeasure for that alone.
63 min Sanchez does not look at all happy, whether with his role in this shower or the notion of drowning under it for a full nother season.
Sanchez, not happy. Photograph: Michael Regan/Getty Images
62 min Wenger is going for the concede nine option. Off go Sanchez and Oxlade-Chamberlain – will either play for Arsenal again? – and on come Giroud and Lacazette. That ought to sort the midfield imbalance.
61 min “Re Melo, Bravo ironic names,” emails Joseph Bradfield, “the term for that is nominative contradeterminism – the frequently injured Danny Invincibile is my favourite of the genre.”
Surely that depends on the intention of the namer?
59 min It’s as though Arsenal have never seen Liverpool play before. “His team could score and get back in it, they could concede nine,” says Neville.
GOAL! Liverpool 3-0 Arsenal (Salah, 57)
Arsenal are horrendous, horrific, awful and appalling. They somehow avoid being broken on and win a corner, which it’s headed clear; naturally, Bellerin decides to be cunning and nip away from Salah just as his mate Monreal did to such wondrous effect a few minutes ago. Salah powers through him, screeches clear, leans right, slides his finish with his left, and that is that.
Salah scores number three for Liverpool. Photograph: Phil Noble/Reuters
And celebrates. Photograph: Phil Noble/Reuters
55 min Monreal cunningly elects to skip inside Salah, who dispossesses him and races towards goal. He moves the ball on to Henderson, who lamps over the top.
54 min The corner comes to nowt and Arsenal contrive a break, Moreno doing well to track down Oxlade-Chamberlain and concede a throw.
53 min Holding cedes an unnecessary free-kick 25 yards from goal and not far from the corner of the box. Salah gently curls it in, and Can hairgels just wide; naturally, He Who Should Not Be Noticed awards a corner.
52 min Elsewhere, Dele Alli has put Spurs ahead at Wembley, where they’re entertaining Burnley.
50 min Matip rolls Karius the ball for no reason and Welbeck charges in to close him down; naturally, the Biberach an der Riss Messi tries to dribble his way out of it, makes a mess, and does well to escape further embarrassment.
49 min Arsenal are playing with some snap now. Oh my! Now I’ve seen it all! Ozil slides in for a ball he can’t hope to win, boots Henderson up in the air, and is booked! Maube Arsene’s fury isn’t quite as Biggus Dickus as I’d imagined.
47 min Arsenal are playing 4-3-3 now. That should help, because they’ve been monstered out wide.
46 min Aha! The lesser-spotted Ozil, now playing behind Welbeck, picks up a second ball outside the box, left of centre, and drags a shot wide of the far post.
46 min Off we toddle once more. Arsenal make one change: Coquelin for Ramsey.
