Tag: 10

I GOT talking with a group of ladies earlier in the week, and found the topic very interesting, it was the question of feminine worth or simply put the value men place on their wives. Let me explain, have you ever come across a single or married woman whose man treats her like crap? He disrespects her, talks to her roughly or with disdain, carries on with other woman to her knowledge with reckless abandon, some even keep late nights or spend nights away from home; making it obvious that they have other women. Yet, there is another group of women, whose men adore them. They are not necessarily the most beautiful of women but their men treat them like queens, even though neither of them is perfect. Even when such men choose to philander, they do it discreetly, and make it obvious that they love and respect their wives too much to treat them with disrespect. What differentiates women in both groups? It is their perceived worth in the eyes of their men.

A young seventeen year old man moves to a new country and sees falls in love with his master’s daughter at first sight, so he offers to work for seven years for the man just so he can marry the girl. The man agrees, and after seven years, is ready for the wedding. After the wedding, he was livid to discover that he was given the elder sister instead. But his in-law explained to him that it was against their custom to give out the younger sister before the elder. But is told that he can have the younger daughter for another seven years of service, the love struck man agrees and serves another seven years for the selfsame maiden. In present day Nigeria, assuming the young man’s salary was fifteen thousand naira monthly, the value of the dowry would be two million five hundred and twenty thousand naira only. That was the dowry the groom himself set. Can you imagine that? Do you think that a man who paid so much as dowry for a woman would dare to treat her with disrespect? I think not.

Unfortunately, many women today have become cheap in the name of love. A man will manage anything, but will only value and respect a woman of worth. I remember an uncle of mine whose wife always complained of his lifestyle; he never got home before 1 am, kept a harem of women, and generally made it obvious that she was not a priority. But I vividly remember overhearing as a teenager him telling my mum that even though she was not his type, she was all he could afford at the time; she was available, and cheap, often leaving her parents house in the village to squat with him in his guardians house in Lagos. He intended to date her until he got a better job, he would then take her out a couple of times, and buy her a couple of clothes to settle her off. The good job was a long time coming, so she moved in with him during that time, and had two kids. They only got married after both kids were grown, but guess what? He never appreciated her, even though she stayed with him when he had nothing, why? The simple reason is that she never had his heart in the first place. How many men value “Iyawo nylon bag?” I mean women who just move in with men without the benefit of marriage, or women who trapped men into marriage with pregnancy. I can’t count the number of women who have gotten burnt by this practice, yet many continue to toe that path. As the daughter of a doting father, I can’t imagine why a girl would move into a man’s house without him doing the honourable thing, when a man on fifteen thousand naira monthly salary paid over two million for a girl like you, methinks it’s time we used our tongues to count our teeth.