It was a sunny day. The time was 1pm, in the middle of November. The sun was at its hottest. Bus stops were filled with passengers but no buses to convey the ever relentless commuters. To escape the scorching heat was survival of the fittest. An expectant mother who had waited tirelessly suddenly caught the attention of a driver. Before I said Jack, a brown Toyota Camry drove by, asked for her destination and spirited her away from the scene.
This is a reflection of the kind of love expectant women in the Federal Capital Territory enjoy, especially as the dry season sets in. They are favoured mainly by the opposite sex without second thoughts. They are mostly considered as special people. Some will even address them as ‘Iya Ibeji’, meaning mother of twins. Despite the non-caring attitudes of residents in the territory, the so called higher class in the society tends to bury their ego to assist these special people.
This phenomenon, not limited to road side experiences also extends to public places such as banks, cafeteria, religious places, public transports, and offices among others. Commuters in public transits, out of sympathy would choose to stand in the bus for them to sit. Bankers at the counter, often express their compassion in a special way. Especially the male folks, they tend to discourage expectant mothers from being on the usual long queue before being attended to. They break barriers and breach protocol on their behalf.
The preferential treatment they enjoy is so alarming that some single ladies gets jealous and those who had experienced the situation wondered if they were the first to be pregnant. Women who had more than two children seem to have a different feeling such that they felt
they passed through the situation unlike the male counterpart who had no experience but hears their agony.
Miss Chioma Obi, who narrated her experience said: “About two weeks ago, we were at a bus stop. We waited for so long, there was no vehicle going towards our direction. After some time, a private car stopped and everybody rushed down. The man refused to open his door until the pregnant woman got there then he opened the front door. As soon as she entered the vehicle he drove off.”
An advert executive, who doesn’t want her name in print, attested the favour she had been enjoying since she became pregnant especially from the male gender. Describing her experience as such beyond expectations, she said Ministries, Departments and Agencies she had covered for more than a year, with scanty patronage for adverts suddenly developed special attention for her welfares.
“It is surprising the number of advertisement slots I have gotten since I got pregnant. The help and favours are just coming from all around me, especially from the male folk,” she said.
An expectant woman, Mrs. Onyinye Atnadu shared her experience. She had enjoyed favours that would not have been in the normal circumstance.
Apart from the normal pains of pregnancy, she hoped being an expectant mother should be frequent. This is not farfetched from the encapsulating goodies. She said: “As a pregnant woman it is natural for people to easily take pity on you and if there is any strenuous exercise or anything they would exempt you. For instance, if you enter a bus, you will see people getting up for you to seat or even give you the best seat even if you don’t know them before. Some offices where they would have stressed you so much before, once they see you, they will say, ‘Ah Iya Ibeji’ please come through before you give birth to that baby here.
“You enjoy quite a lot, like the other day, I beat the traffic not on purpose, the police entered my car and insisted they will take me to the station, immediately they saw my stomach they said haba, this woman why you do like this? I started laughing but if not they
would have insisted on taking me to the station. It only took sorry to solve the problem and they let me go.
“As a pregnant woman you enjoy a lot of favour. They wouldn’t want to see you carrying anything. They would always want to help you carry it whether it is heavy or not, they will take it from you.”
When asked if she has experienced any violence from people, she denied having such unpleasant experience. “The pregnancy has rather brought a lot of favours and open doors rather than when i was not pregnant.
In fact I am free to do you anything i feel like, in disguise of being pregnant. Although i have heard stories of people being beaten by their husbands and forced to go to undue labour but i have not experienced that.
“In fact my husband has been very wonderful. I am blessed among women.
“I feel like I should be pregnant everyday. Even in the hospital, they try and tell us not to provoke people. Some men don’t even care; they ask you, are you going to give birth to Jesus.”
But it was gathered most women will tell you it is not a big deal, after all they have passed through it, but the men will always be compassionate.
Incidentally, the mystery behind this generosity is given different perspective. But in this case, it permeates through the gender differences. Some individual believed when such kind gesture is extended to pregnant women, it attracts favour in return. Most times, those who have challenge with infertility attached spiritual intent to it. They strongly consider the fact that the act will lead to their procreation.
Mrs. Faith Edughie patronised this school of thought, she said it is only an irresponsible man that will forgo a pregnant woman in odd situations. She observed the expecting mothers are offered special treatment also in the market place, adding that they tend to enjoy discounts in price of commodities.
“You do not have to know them. It is an avenue to get your marital desire especially when in need of a baby except on rare occasions if the man has ulterior motives,” she said.
For residents of the FCT, this is a behavioural attitude worth applauding and necessary for the survival of our humble society, largely eroded by selfish interests and cultural ethnicity.
