The Nation Newspaper

Tag: affection

  • Girls, early affection for studying makes you a star

    Girls, early affection for studying makes you a star

    MEET Dr. Omolara Oyadotun my darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    I thought to deviate from my usual campaign about chastity and holiness and discuss intellectual pursuits today! Sadly, the value placed on academic pursuits and excellence has been whittled down in our society and a lot of you are not interested in studying hard or exploiting your God-given potential and sharp intellect! Girls are naturally blessed with highly-cognitive skills but, unfortunately, inanities have taken over a lot of bright brains and the social media as good as it is has only worsened the situation. Google has made life so easy and readily gives an answer to just about everything we need to know within the twinkle of an eye! This generation of youth ought to be the most intelligent in history because through technology we have an instant answer to our quest for knowledge. However, it’s sad that the average Nigerian girl is not interested in intellectual pursuits or anything that serious but would rather have everything on fleek except her brain/intellectuality, daydreaming on instagram. I then begin to wonder how many female professors or scientists we would have in future. Who are those who will step into the shoes of the likes of Prof. Grace Alele-Williams, Sarah Oloko, Bolanle Awe, Sophie Oluwole and co.? These grandmas were not exposed to Google; in fact there was no internet in their days but they are saturated with knowledge and have built human institutions. Don’t we have a better opportunity now?

    Today, I’ll be celebrating a lady whose affection for studying right from her kindergarten was rather disturbing! Her hobby was and remains studying! I can tell you that her results were excellent right from nursery school and every year she came home with loads of awards and prizes. She was always 1st in class. It’s as though she had an inkling that what would make her heard on earth and what would make her leave her footprints in the sands of time is studying hard! Her fantastic grades paved way for her to study medicine and surgery. She not only graduated with honours, even though she’s married with kids, she hasn’t stopped studying and piling more and more qualifications. She’s one of 2017’s Mandela Washington Fellows. Meet my immediate younger sister- Omolara Oyadotun.

    Omolara Oyadotun is currently a Senior Resident Doctor at the Department of Community Health, Lagos University Teaching Hospital, where she teams up with other health workers to raise awareness on children and women’s health, and conduct community development projects, health policy advocacy, and research. She has also teamed up with local non-governmental organisations, community development associations and faith-based organisations to implement several community outreach programmes, thereby bringing to light the health and health-related challenges of under-served communities. She is driven by her passion for preventive medicine and commitment to helping indigent patients get comfort and affordable health care, thus helping to improve the health indices of her country. She believes that the conceptualisation of health by religious leaders has a great effect on their followers’ health seeking behaviour. This has led her to strengthening ties with faith based organisations, to create awareness for healthy lifestyles and early presentation in the hospitals. Through this, she has touched at least 5,000 lives. Believing that education provides answers to most issues and that every child is a health worker, she’s currently working on a global health education app targeted at children with the hope that it will have a great positive multiplier effect. Isn’t this just awesome!

    Girls, what do you plan to be known for? Do you know you are designed to be an environmental transformer? No matter the odds, an imagination incubated in the Holy Spirit is a miraculous time bomb waiting to explode! There’s so much that you can make out of life with your brain! What’s incubating your imagination at the moment? Romance or the social media? Time waits for no man! What was designed to make you shine in your youth cannot make you shine in your middle age. Use your brain, God-given talents and study hard. God will always create uncommon opportunities for you to stand out and shine! Congratulations Dr. Oyadotun! May all your lofty dreams come true in Jesus name! Amen!

    I invite you to follow me on facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO (not Temilolu okeowo girls club or TEMILOLU OKEOWO Girls Club group).

    Scam Alert: Temilolu okeowo girls club page and group as well as Temilolu cares for you are fake facebook accounts.

    Are you still engaging in pre-marital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary virgin!

  • Court dissolves 9-year-old marriage for lack of affection

    An Ado-Ekiti Customary Court on Friday dissolved a nine-year-old marriage between Adeniyi Eiyebiokin and his wife, Adeola, for lack of affection, love and respect for parents.

    Eiyebiokin, 31, an artist, told the court that Adeola had no respect for his parents and often quarrel with his mother.

    The father of one, said he was tired of the union because he could no longer  leave under the same roof with a woman that he had no affection and love.

    He appealed to the court to dissolve his marriage to Adeola to enable him have peace of mind and free from incessant quarrel with his mother.

    He further appealed to the court to award the custody of his eight year old child to ‎him for proper upbringing.

    Adeola, 29, a fashion designer, admitted all the allegation and said that the petitioner ‎sent her packing in 2009.

    She said that she had a quarrel with his mother and took her child into his custody at the age of one year and one month then.

    Adeola told the court that since the incident occurred in 2009, they had both lived separately.

    The respondent, therefore, urged the court to dissolve the union because she was no longer interested in the marriage.

    She, however, appealed to the court to order the petitioner to pay the feeding and education of his child.

    The respondent also prayed the court to award the child in the custody of the petitioner’s mother‎ to her for proper care.

    The President of the court, Mr Joseph Ogunsemi‎, in his judgment observed that the marriage had broken down irretrievably and consequently dissolved the marriage.

    He awarded custody of the child to the petitioner’s mother‎ for proper upkeep and upbringing.

    Ogunsemi ordered the ‎petitioner to be responsible for the feeding and education of the child at all levels.

    He, however, ruled that respondent should have unrestricted access to the ‎child.

  • ‘Affection’ on the Dead Sea

    The sea brings to mind lots of water, different species of fishes and other creatures. Naturally, the picture that comes to mind is an environment that is rich physically, depicting all kinds of emotional gestures. Its natural environment is bound to be a booster for affection, attraction, infatuation and fondness.

    However, if you affection is located on the Dead Sea, you are not likely to go far. No matter what you do and the efforts you put in, you are not likely to find any fish (heart) not to talk of locating your dream fish (heart).

    The Dead Sea, historically, has attracted visitors (hearts) from all over the world for thousands of years. It is known as the Salt Lake, famous for incredibly high levels of salt – the deepest hypersaline lake in the world. This salinity makes for a harsh environment in which animals of any kind cannot flourish.

    However, it has been the supplier of a wide variety of products like balms for Egyptian mummification, potash for fertilisers, cosmetics and herbal products.

    The scarcity of aquatic life in the Dead Sea can be compared with relationships that have no future from the outset. The question here is how do you get into dead relationships? How do you determine who or what to avoid in the search for a befitting heart? A heart that would bring joy and not tales of sorrow, tears and blood. A loving heart and not a cheap sadist masquerading to be sweet and nice just because he or she is planning to rip you off someday.

    32-year-old Josephine’s heart is sinking miserably on the affectionate Dead Sea. She has actually given up all hope of finding love again after three cases of misplaced affection. “The last relationship was the most painful. We had saved some resources together to rent a house and start a family. We also travelled to see his parents and family members about three months before everything crashed like a pack of cards. It was at that point that I realised that he had been deceiving me all along.”

    On his part, he did not wait to give this poor heart any explanation about the whole emotional mess. Instead, he got a ticket and travelled out of the country, far away from this dying or ‘dead’ heart.

    Now she thinks that she has found love again but sadly her affection is with the wrong heart. “I am in love with my sister’s husband and I don’t know that to do about the situation. The man keeps making flirtatious gestures towards me and I am so confused. Deep inside, something tells me to say yes because he is what I have been wishing for all my life.”

    That is not all! “I think that my sister is very ungrateful and she treats him badly. Each time you pay them a visit, he is always complaining about how tired he has become of her. It is sad that my sister does not appreciate him at all and she does not value what she has.”

    Emotional traitor! There are so many of them around looking for hearts to be stolen and hijacked for themselves. Sadly, a lot of people live, wine and dine with traitors. They entrust their lives and hearts to charlatans who end up plotting their betrayal in a very wicked way. Hearts that hide mischievously in the background, planning how to steal what belongs to others.

    How can you continue to smile sheepishly at somebody, seduce him or her and not expect a reaction? Whether the reaction is positive or negative is another matter entirely. “How can she smile cheaply at your man, claiming that you do not appreciate what you’ve got?”

    How on earth can someone stoop so low and lose her heart to a sister’s boyfriend, fiancé or husband?  Or even a friend’s husband for that matter? What kind of friend could that be? Here it would be better to hug the enemy instead of settling for this kind of friendship.

    Besides, who made you the judge of whether or not she appreciates him or not? Are you the emotional spy, the forerunner who must step into her emotional shoes? As a good and loyal sister or friend, your only duty is not just to be trusted, be loyal and stop looking for excuses to justify your lust for her man.

    She continued: “I have been in four different relationships in the past six years but I have not succeeded in having any stable relationship. The relationships all start on a very bright note, but when I think have gotten it right, things just begin to fall apart.”

    However, she noticed that men who have a soft spot for her are usually already engaged. “When my best friend got married a few years ago, I met the best man and I really liked him. Then I began to pray that she would throw the bouquet in my direction. There and then I began to propose to me and marry me later.”

    Was this a dream come true? No, it wasn’t! “When I made enquiries from my friend, I realised that he was already married. To my utmost surprise, he also liked me so much and he wanted us to be friends. Unfortunately, we both knew that we weren’t going to go far.”

  • Time to show affection the love door

    IT was one of the best parties Rebecca had attended in a long while. The serene environment had transported her into another world entirely and was basking in the love euphoria, a sweetness she never imagined existed.

    Pretty faces, handsome dudes wearing outfits that could be described as a collector’s delight made it a very memorable event, indeed. The chandeliers and other lightening effect as well as the nice presentation of exotic drinks and good food all swept her off her feet.

    It could actually be compared to a love feast and everyone appeared to be having some fun. Physically, she looked good too and no one would imagine that her heart which had been battered thrice was still in an awful state. Interestingly, she had a companion, someone she met about two weeks ago. It looked too good to be true, and while rationalising, she came to the fact that it was too early to count any blessings.

    “Men get so carried away when you first meet them. At this point, they would behave as if you are the best thing that ever happened to them. Then just when you think you have found what you have been looking for, he would drop a bombshell.”

    She adds: “If he doesn’t drop a bombshell, then you would begin to notice some differences in his attitude. At this point, he is already getting tired of you. If he does not have the guts to look at your face and tell you then he would drop the hints in style.

    One important thing you need to do is to lay a strong emotional foundation of love in your relationship if you want it to work. It is crucial because it is this foundation that your partner builds upon to constantly get connected to you. Once you have done the basics, you can be sure to have established a stable and loving environment, something that can be cherished forever.

    Of course, a lot of people don’t believe that you need to work on the building blocks of their relationship, especially at the early stage. So, they do it their own way and sometimes they are lucky things work out fine, and they move on. Most times, like a moving bus they jump in and it is likely that the lovebirds would jump out in a short while.

    Naturally, the man or woman in their lives therefore starts pulling away emotionally. It can be worse especially when you are faced with other battles and it is a phase when you just need your partner’s affection most. At this point, it is almost too late to revert to status quo. There won’t ever be that safe stable heart to run to anymore. It is almost like an elusive search: searching for a heart among other like-minded hearts. A heart that would make you feel comfortable and supported in love.

    That you just cannot find your missing rib does not mean that you are bad or that you have failed emotionally. It may just be that you fell for the wrong person, someone who never really cared, someone who did not share your dreams. Sadly, you got mid way only to realise that it was not what you thought it was.

    Sometimes, the person we really want to be with may not fit into our dreams. If this is the case then you can be sure that things would certainly fall apart sooner than expected. Sometimes, we try our best to make it work but no matter how hard we try, such calculations just do not work out right.

    At this point the basic question would be where do we go from here? Can we make amends and rediscover affection here or elsewhere? Can love be transferred to another? Of course, we know that we can shift our affection elsewhere if the person we admire is not budging. But is it really possible to shift love around?

    Well, scientifically, maybe we could do a love transplant. Here, all the emotions would have been uprooted from the one who does not merit or deserve such attention and then you can transfer to one who would appreciate your love currency and make it worth the while.

    One interesting fact that women need to know is that men communicate differently. It’s therefore important to understand and decode the message that he is trying to send across. Unfortunately, if you do not know how to do this, then you would always be at the crossroads.

    For a number of women, the major problem is that they do not know how to communicate with a man in a relationship, and they haven’t been able to do so with men in their past relationships.

    So, if this is the case in your relationship, then you won’t be able to create the critical foundation in your relationship. Once you are in this stage you’ll never experience the kind of stable support system that a relationship can experience or what should be for you and your feelings.

    You are always at an advantage if you have learnt how to handle each of the moments that are sure to come up with your man, especially those issues that are most likely to break up or pull your relationship apart.