Bayelsa governor has added something new to media lexicon
Many students of Mass Communication, University of Lagos, taught by Prof Ralph Akinfeleye would remember the book, Essentials of Modern African Journalism: a Premier, authored by the lecturer. In it, Prof Akinfeleye talked about different kinds of journalism. Akinfeleye talked, for instance, of ‘Journalism of Next-of-Kin’, ‘Cocktail Journalism’, ‘Journalism of’ Gin and Lime’ and Journalism of the General Order’. All, I guess, are self-explanatory. To these four, however, Governor Seriake Dickson of Bayelsa State has added a fifth: dem say, dem say journalism. I must confess it is after this ‘invention’ that I am beginning to be convinced that the Bayelsa State governor is highly resourceful. Even Prof Akinfeleye must be wondering why in all his decades of teaching and talking mass communication, it never occurred to him that such journalism should be listed in his book, in spite of its prevalence in our clime. Your Excellency, I doff my hat!
As a matter of fact, doffing my hat can never be enough in this situation, because, as a Bayelsan, the governor himself has all kinds of hats and he must have seen many people doff all manner of hats for him. What, in my view should be adequate compensation for this erudition on the part of His Excellency is for Prof Akinfeleye to return, as a matter of urgency, to his publishers for a more recent edition of the book, to accommodate the all-important addition by the governor, while readers must be ready to grab their copies, NOW! Indeed, those of us who graduated based on only what Prof Akinfeleye wrote in his book should be recalled and made to ‘repeat’ the course, to see if we have taken note of Governor Dickson’s contribution. Journalism scholars and students alike worldwide owe His Excellency a world of gratitude for this creativity. Imagine what we have been missing until now that the governor woke us from our academic slumber to this ‘local content’, a thing we have been trying to achieve in all spheres of life without success. This is such a serious matter that I would have loved to prevail on the University of Lagos (my alma mater) to endow a chair in the great university on his behalf, if such an important discovery had come from Governor Godswill Akpabio of Akwa Ibom State, so that it could at least benefit from the Akwa Ibom governor’s uncommon generosity.
But Bayelsa State is fast becoming a recurring decimal in the news of late, and particularly since President Jonathan assumed office. Things have been happening in that state at the speed of light that it is almost difficult to chronicle them in a single piece. Not to worry; we shall try to mention a few, of which dem say, dem say journalism is just the latest. There is also this unusual hospitality, at least by and to ‘their ogas at the very top’. They hardly repay good with evil. President Jonathan demonstrated this attribute in his recent pardon granted his former boss, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, who was convicted for fraud. The President saw nothing wrong or unusual in that action; in fact, he was shocked that the rest of us were shocked by it when we should be praising him. He was not alone; indeed, many people in Bayelsa openly jubilated over the presidential pardon. Obviously, the people were not on the same page with the rest of us, or vice versa. I was sad over that pardon because the President forgot to admonish his former boss to ‘steal no more’. After all, Jesus Christ who pardoned the woman ‘charged’ with adultery (as if she could have done it all with herself) added that proviso: ‘go but sin no more’. Since there was no such condition or conditionality in the presidential pardon for Alamieyeseigha, the man appears to have a blanket cheque, meaning that he can do it again and again and expect to be pardoned all the time, at least for as long as ‘their son’ is in power!
Governor Seriake too did what many of us regarded as unthinkable when in July last year he appointed Patience Jonathan, the President’s wife, as permanent Secretary in the state civil service. Recall also that the other day, President Jonathan expressed surprise as regards how Channels Television ‘penetrated’ the police college to expose the rot there when he should have thanked the television station for a job well done. In like manner, Governor Dickson too did not appear concerned about what could be the fertiliser for dem say, dem say journalism. All that matters to him is the proscription of this aspect of journalism. It did not strike him that dem say, dem say journalism thrives when information is not readily available.
In spite of whatever misgivings we might have about some of these somewhat unsavoury developments, however, I am glad to announce that they still have a redeeming feature. At least they offer some comic relief that is good for our health as Nigerians who are daily being bombarded with news from high places that can only further reduce life expectancy in the country. The fact is that the polity has been too hard and dry, and we can only imagine what damage this can do to our health. People like Governors Rochas Okorocha of Imo State and Dickson may not know it; they are somewhat helping in their own little ways to reduce stress in the land.
Imagine how Okorocha’s two-weeklong holiday to the Igbo people in his state last December made many of us to roar with laughter not just for its novelty but more for its ‘creativeness’. And the other day when Dickson too laboured in vain to justify the appointment of Mrs Jonathan as permanent secretary, many of us nearly rolled on the floor over the absurdity of the excuse given. Yes, we may say that the kind of comic relief we are getting from our politicians these days is not as imaginative as the ones we got from, say Hon. Adegoke Adelabu, the inventor of the word ‘penkelemeesi’ (peculiar mess) in the First Republic; or the Late Barkin Zuwo, former Governor of Kano State in the Second Republic who asked soldiers that found millions of naira in his house what was funny in finding government money at the Government House.
The fact is, since the demise of Alhaji Lamidi Adedibu (remember him?)who said he was entitled to a liberal slice of Oyo State government largesse), we have missed some of these hilarious actions. But it appears all hope is not lost, with Governors Okorocha and Dickson struggling to fill the vacuum left by some of these comedians of old. If there is a decline in the level of their performance compared to the great ones that are now departed, it is just a reflection of the country where the only things on the rise are the parochial, the bad and the ugly. Standards in every good area have been on the decline. So, we can still make do with the substandard comic relief; after all, half comic relief is better than none.
From my email
Just read your column of Sunday March 24, Tunji. Metaphorically speaking, full deregulation of the oil industry is the President’s haughty but subtle way of telling Nigerians that after all the oil comes from Ijaw land, so he can decide what to do with it. But until he foolishly completes the deregulation, neither he nor his advisers can imagine how suffering Nigerians will react. Please hide my identity. Happy Sunday.
