Enthusiasm
When it comes to sex, you can get an ‘A’ for effort. Guys want to be with someone who’s actually into sex and not doing it as a favour or just going through the motions. ‘There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover,’ says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. ‘That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him!’
New tricks
Men want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. That doesn’t mean you have to go all 50 Shades of Grey. Just be open to ideas. ‘Sexual desire is like an appetite,’ says Paget. ‘We all want to try different flavours – otherwise we’d get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations.’
Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don’t think of it as a can of worms. Most likely the occasional change-up is all he needs.
Praise
We normally think of women as the ones who need reassurance about their appearance, but men get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him.
‘Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on,’ says Paget. ‘It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humour that she finds incredibly sexy.’
Bossiness
It’s not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do – at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they’ll succeed at pleasuring you.
‘A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses is preferred as it takes away the guess work,’ says Paget. ‘Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!’
Confidence
Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts. ‘Indirect lighting is Hollywood’s best friend and it can be yours as well,’ says Paget. ‘Need I repeat that men are visual creatures and they want to see their partner? It’s a big part of their turn-on factor.’ Confidence is sexier than anything!
Sex on the brain
A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom – and that’s sexy. Try sexting him or be extra naughty and playful in public. ‘Do it in a discreet way,’ say Paget. ‘Let your partner know that you’re thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source.’
Flair for fantasy
A man craves someone who will listen to his fantasies – and tell him hers. ‘Many men are scared to share their fantasies as their partner may react by saying, ‘You have got to be kidding, that’s sick,’’ says Paget.
‘You don’t need to give him his exact fantasy but instead try negotiating how you’d both like to feel during the fantasy. Create your own scenario together.’
Initiative
Guys want someone who sometimes initiates sex but also lets him ‘be the man’. ‘It’s in a man’s DNA to be the caretaker, which also translates into the bedroom,’ says Dr. Sadie Allison, America’s Pleasure Coach and author of Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking,www.TickleKitty.com.
‘So while most men love to be in charge, always being the initiator can get old. It’s hot when a woman takes control and shows him that she wants him. It’s actually every man’s fantasy to surrender for just a little while!’
Dirty talk
Men love hearing a play-by-play of what’s happening during sex – or what you want to happen next.
‘What men see, hear and feel are direct lines to the ‘other brain,’’ says Allison. ‘Dirty talk is just another fun way to arouse your man. It also turns them on psychologically because men are super attracted to women who are sexually uninhibited.’
Hero worship
All men want attention showered on them – especially if that attention is on his private area! Yes, other aspects of sex are important, too. But let’s be honest, most men are fixated on oral sex and any other activities that are genital-focused.
‘Stroke his ego by stroking his cock,’ says Allison. ‘Being a generous lover is key. Worshipping his jewels as much as he does is a good way to keep him totally into you.’
A massage
What guy doesn’t want a woman who gives great… massages? And not just the sexual sort, though they can be very erotic. Men want to feel good all over, just like you do.
‘Touch is a basic human desire,’ says Allison. ‘Sensual or not, it can be one of the greatest gifts a person can receive. Touching all over usually leads to something more fun anyway.’
Lace
You might think, why waste money on lingerie that’s just going to get crumpled up in a ball and tossed on the floor in two seconds? But men are visual and seeing the present they are about to unwrap is important to them!
‘A guy likes the ‘for his eyes only’ component of this, with the sneak peak of your body being a total turn-on,’ says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover.
‘Unwrapping you also boosts his ego because he knows you are like a gift, and all his.
Courtesy: iVillage.co.uk