Students of Bells University of Technology, Ota want some respect from their parents and they have sent representatives to tell them so.
The Parents Forum, organised by the university at the NECA Hall, Agidingbi, gave the appropriate platform for the students to tell their parents to amend their styles and treat them like adults.
More than 500 parents and representatives of other institutions nodded in agreement as the duo of Oluwabamike Olawunmi, a 400-Level Microbiology, student and David Abejide, a 300-Level Computer Science student, spoke about wanting to be heard, allowed to take decisions and learn about sexuality education.
When it was time for David to address his parents, he said he relished the chance to talk to parents like a fellow adult.
“We have always being listening to parents talk to us; it’s a privilege to have this opportunity to have them listen to us,” he said.
He told the parents to forget about the parenting style of old as times had changed. He said he had always wanted to know if parents ever made mistakes or failed in school. He added that the way parents handle matters is not convenient, especially concerning sex education.
“If you don’t educate us on sex someone else would or the internet would. Parenting these days can’t be like your days. Parents should embrace change. Give us a little open hand. You think you know your children but you don’t. Don’t shut us down every time we are talking. We have our thought opinions and life to live, just as we have peer pressure, so do you,” he noted.
On her part Olawunmi said forcing students to fit into a certain mould would only yield rebellion.
“As children we have expectations of you as our parents just as you have of us. Treat us as the adults that we are. Let us be in partnership with you. Don’t expect us to turn out like you because we will just say yes, I have heard but when you turn your back, we are doing something else. Trust us, if you overcrowd us we will want to break out. If we buy you gifts tell us thank you and use it sometimes even though it is your money we used to buy it. Good parenting will result to a good society,” she said.
She advised students to do their best and leave the rest to God. “We need to be grateful to our parents and try as much as possible to come out in flying colours. Help them at home, keep in touch.”
Many speakers addressed the parents on the theme: Parenting in Tertiary Education in the 21st Century.
Keynote speaker, Mr Kelvin Ejiofor, former Director General, FRCN, said at tertiary level, parents should do less of parenting and more of partnership with their children as they are adults.
“Putting your child in universities and paying the bills is never enough. Strive to be your children’s friends and partner and less of parents. Parental influence may diminish or change. Partnership works best,” he said.
He noted that there are three styles of parenting namely: the authoritarian which produces children who are obedient and proficient but generally unhappy and cannot question their parents; the permissive or indulgent, which produces children with poor levels of self-control and self -reliance because they lack structure at home; and the uninvolved where as a result of parents’ emotional and physical absence, the children suffer social competence, poor academic performance, psycho-social development and problematic behaviour.
