“I feel sorry for the couple [2baba and Annie Idibia]. It’s unfortunate. But my advice would be, can we just keep our business private, away from the public?
“Social media has changed a lot but it’s up to the people, too. I’m not talking from a saintly perspective. I have had quarrels with my partner but we settle in the room privately.
“You don’t bring it outside to the public to settle. I think that’s wrong because if I were to stop living with my wife today, nobody would know about it. I won’t make noise about it,” he said.
With scary statistics such as 15 men dying every day from prostate cancer in Nigeria, and many celebrities coming out in recent years to tell stories of their brushes with the disease, it becomes pertinent to take another look. Why have there been so much quiet despite such horrendous facts? Gboyega Alaka explores.
Professor Wole Soyinka, Kola Oyewo, Charly Boy. These are some notable Nigerian men who have publicly declared their battle with prostate cancer. Knowing how secretive Nigerians can be, one could safely say that many more abound – both among the celebrities/public figures and the ordinary man on the street, who have kept theirs to themselves, ostensibly because they see it as private/secret, or even something to be ashamed of.
Outside Nigeria, one can easily reel out names like late South African freedom fighter and president, Nelson Mandela; former governor of California, Jerry Brown; British actor Sir Ian McKellen; American Academy Award Winning actor, Robert De Niro; retired US Army General and former Secretary of State, Collin Powell; business magnate and philanthropist Warren Buffett.
Most of these men survived because they subjected themselves to regular medical checks, detected early, and had access to quality medical personnel and facilities, plus the wherewithal, to pay.
Many in Africa are not so lucky, for obvious reasons. Nigeria, the self-styled ‘Giant of Africa’ is not left out.
According to a report by Project PINK BLUE, a cancer organisation engaged in cancer awareness, free cancer screenings, support to people battling with cancer etc, one in four persons of black heritage will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime. It gets scarier, when it states further that a man of African descent is 70% more likely to develop prostate cancer than men of other races. But wait for this – in Nigeria, cancer leads to 700,000 deaths per annum (28,000 for male and 42,000 for female).
And then this: “Current data suggest that at least 15 Nigerian men die every day due to prostate cancer, resulting in about 5,806 deaths yearly with 13,078 new cases recorded.”
In another part, PINK BLUE declared: “Prostate cancer is the third leading cause of cancer death in Nigeria and the leading cause of cancer deaths in Nigerian men.”
Project PINK BLUE, however regrets that, “Despite these troubling indices, there is still public quiet about prostate cancer, with a lot of people unaware of the disease and its risk factors.”
The question therefore is, “How so or Why so? Why would any group of people choose to be quiet in the face of such threat? Ignorance is a disease; so states a popular Nigerian parlance. If people do not know about this disease, how would they have information about it or suspect when their bodies begin to experience the symptoms? One could comfortably argue that in the past decades, more noise have been made about breast cancer, culminating in more awareness of that variety of cancer among women, than has been made about prostate. If the women are not ashamed to confront their devil, why are the men seemingly chickening out? Or is it case of being carefree or reckless?
A case of shame?
Speaking of his run with prostate cancer when he was diagnosed in 2014, Nobel Laureate, Professor Wole Soyinka, said the first thing he admitted was that he was not going to be a good patient; as a result, the doctor solicited the help of his wife to ensure he followed through religiously with the treatment procedure.
However, one notable thing he told the BBC after his survival was that, “there is no shame in having any disease”, plus the fact that “cancer is not a death sentence but requires willpower to be victorious.”
Notably, he recalled telling the wife not to despair: “don’t worry; we are going to fight this together…”
Ultimately, he said: “Mine for me was an easy ride, uncomfortable in many ways but for me, but it is painless.”
Most importantly, Soyinka overcame and told the world his story, so that people could be inspired.
Recalling his own experience, Charles Oputa aka Charly Boy said: “The sooner you check up to know what’s happening in your body, the better, the more prepared you are.”
For him, the story wasn’t as sweet as the prof’s, as he recently told the world that the treatment took away his sexual ability.
“I had to tell my fellow men that it’s alright not to be alright. I had to tell my fellow men to desist from not being able to be as open as I was going about my challenges, that there’s something sinister, something technically wrong with not being open, and I know most of this comes from how we men have been brainwashed over the years,” he told journalists in November last year in Lagos.
“So, here I was feeling cool with myself, but I was going through changes, and what are those changes? There was a period that I was wearing diapers all the time, because I was constantly leaking. I was constantly going to the bathroom, no sooner had I taken a pee, in the next three minutes, I want to go back to the bathroom, and most of the times, by the time I get to the bathroom, I would have already peed on myself. There was no way I could have worn one underwear or boxer for more than half a day, because it would just stink the whole place, so I had to keep changing, but it was also attacking my brain. I started to have performance anxiety, because I noticed that my erections were becoming irregular, it was like my organ had a mind of its own, it would erect at its own time, not my time. I noticed that I had lost command of my own organ, and I couldn’t understand it,” he further told the shocked audience that was so used to the outgoing, confident Charly Boy.
But like the Professor, he survived, albeit, not unscathed.
Charly Boy Opens Up About Multiple Relationships Despite Decades-Long Marriage
Veteran singer Charly Boy has disclosed that he maintains multiple relationships outside his marriage, referring to the women involved as his “executive side chicks.”
Charly Boy, who has been married to his wife, Diane, for over 30 years, revealed that the women range in age from their 40s to as old as 82.
He described these relationships as sources of joy, mental stimulation, and companionship, stressing that they go beyond physical connections.
The singer credited Diane for her understanding and supportive nature, which he said has been instrumental in fostering a peaceful and harmonious home.
He praised her for creating an environment that allows him to manage his personal relationships with ease.
In an interview with Arise TV, he said: “My house is so peaceful because of my wife, Diane. You can’t even start to imagine. Of course, all my executive side chicks.
“The executive side chicks keep me smiling. They make me laugh. They are like comedians. They entertain me but people might be thinking something else.
“There’s mental stimulation and all that. It’s not just about the physical aspect. I have both young and old side chicks. The oldest is 82 and she is still beautiful. The youngest is about 40-something.”
Nigerian legendary entertainer and social activist Charles Oputa, popularly known as Charly Boy, is a man on a mission. After battling prostate cancer, he has become an advocate, while using his personal experience to raise awareness about men’s health and mental well-being. In this chat, he opens up on his survival journey and his mission to support other men facing similar challenges through a newly established foundation. EVELYN OSAGIE writes
IT’S no longer news that you had prostate even though the news came as a shock at the time. But more shocked were folks when you also said you could no longer perform sexual duties”. Many people thought you were just joking. Could you take us through the journey?
As I’ve always said, there are times and seasons in everybody’s life, a time when you like Egusi over Ogbono, a time when you like power bikes over scooters, and so on and so forth. I thank God that through his grace, I’ve been able to have very active, fulfilling youthful years, so I don’t think I’m missing out on anything, but the reason I went to town with my challenges was simply because I had to get that message out, I had to tell my fellow men that it’s alright not to be alright. I had to tell my fellow men to desist from not being able to be as open as I was going about my challenges, that there’s something sinister, something technically wrong with not being open, and I know most of this comes from how we men have been brainwashed over the years. They say, “a man is not supposed to cry”, “whatever you have that is paining you, just chest it, don’t even tell anybody”. And the worst of all, “if you’re married, don’t let your wife know, because she might use the information against you” and all of that.
I felt obligated to go and speak on behalf of men, to say this is the ‘wrongest’ thing that you can do to yourself. And of course, there were a lot of things that inspired that move in the first place, because Prostate doesn’t run in my family, not to talk about cancer, so when I discovered that that was what was going on, and being a health freak as I am, always checking and looking into my body, always having my regular checkups, I felt that something was amiss. And what was that? It started with the doctors, especially in Nigeria, even in Sweden, and abroad, who kept on telling me “oh, your PSA (prostate-specific antigen) is okay”, it never passed 3.0, I know some people, their PSA is like 17, 30, but my own never passed 3.0.
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So, here I was feeling cool with myself, but I was going through changes, and what are those changes? There was a period that I was wearing diapers all the time, because I was constantly leaking. I was constantly going to the bathroom, no sooner had I taken a pee, in the next three minutes, I wanted to go back to the bathroom, and most of the time, by the time I got to the bathroom, I would have already peed on myself. There was no way I could have worn one underwear or boxer for more than half a day, because it would just stink the whole place, so I had to keep changing, but it was also attacking my brain. I started to have performance anxiety, because I noticed that my erections were becoming irregular, it was like my organ had a mind of its own, it would erect at its own time, not my time. I noticed that I had lost command of my own organ, and I couldn’t understand it.
As I said, the one that killed me the most was the performance anxiety, and after that, it was like I really had no interest in sex, not with my wife, not with anybody. Maybe I thought it was a “see-finish” situation with my wife, and I won’t lie to you, like I never lied to my wife, I said “okay, I would try other people, let me see”, and it was the same thing. I had travelled all the way to London, to go and see the experts, I think that was two years back, and they gave me one funny pill, I think it was about $17,000, it’s almost $20,000 today in the hospital. Where I go see that kain money? I no get money na.
What did you think saved you from this predicament that could have killed you as it did others?
What saved me was because I was talking everywhere, complaining to everybody.
I was lucky to meet one Nigerian there who had the same problem, and I was sharing my story and challenges with him, and he goes “listen o, there’s one guy here in London, but he’s always coming to Nigeria every other month, and he has decided to do something close to a Pro bono for Nigerians, because the thing is hitting Nigerian men badly.”
So, of course, I immediately collected the doctor’s number, and he told me when he would arrive in Nigeria, and I like the fact that I finally did what I had to do in Nigeria. I didn’t run away to America, even though I no get money o, I like that I was able to do it in a hospital in Nigeria, because the guy did come, and after I went to see him, he said “you need to go and have this precise checkup”, I think it’s called MRI, this was to be done around my manhood, so that we can ascertain what exactly is wrong. The day I brought the report back to him, he said “you need to go in, I don’t like what I’m seeing”, and that’s how the next day, I was admitted into Reddington, and that same day I was admitted, I was operated on in Reddington. Now, I understand why men are scared because of this, I had Stage 1 Prostate cancer, I was lucky because my pee and everything were mixing with my bladder, it had become cancerous, so there was a need to just stop it in its track, and that’s why the next day after the examination, I was admitted. I stayed in Reddington Hospital for about five days, and my recovery was kind of quick. I can’t say now, that I’m totally free. This operation happened last year around May.
What was the post-surgery experience like for you?
After a successful surgery, you can imagine someone like me, who’s really not a religious person, my wife carry me go church, she said we must thank God, and of course I went to church, invited a few people, but wetin still dey cry for bush, still dey cry for bush, because throughout my challenge, I noticed, like I said earlier, that I had become so uninterested in sex. I used to think that as I don collect some 47 years from my wife, see finish don enter, but that wasn’t true, I just turned off, because my “thing” still wasn’t rising when it was supposed to rise, and I didn’t have the full command of my organ, and you know, for a man, your penis is like your prized possession.
How were you able to deal with the realisation that you may never be able to perform the way you used to?
For a man wey no too get money, and him thing no dey too function, you feel less of a man, and that is why a lot of men that I know, they don’t want to talk about it, they want to just carry it as their own cross. But as I keep saying, it is bad. The sooner you check up to know what’s happening in your body, the better and the more prepared you are.
What inspired the setting up of the Charly Boy Foundation?
Now, like I’ve said earlier, while I was wondering what to do, and Louis Stan Ekeh, the computer guy who owns one of the biggest franchises with. Xenox Computers, who heard one of my interviews on TV/radio, and said to me “you know, Charlie, the way I’ve seen you answer questions, I think this is what you should sign off with. Let this be part of the legacy you leave since you’re good at talking to people and having sessions with men. Why don’t you do this as a full-time job?” And I said that’s the best idea I’ve ever heard and that’s how I jumped into action. And the thing about me is once you give me a good idea, I just run with it.
So that’s what inspired the setting up of the Charly Boy Foundation and we began working with different people; hospitals in the East, in Umuahia, in Owerri, Enugu, and Abuja. Through the Charly Boy Foundation, we can help more men, because men these days are going through a whole lot. We are in partnership with these organizations. And our primary duty was to raise funds knowing that men can be slow in medically checking themselves, and I, as the Chief Campaigner for awareness against Prostate Cancer, my duty is to relate with the men in such a way that they can have a test done, at least, for the first time.
How does the foundation plan to secure the funds needed to subsidise the cost for prostate cancer test for those in need?
Depending on your location, it typically costs about 50k to 100k but the foundation is ready to offset half or perhaps even three-quarter of the test fee and this is why we need funds and donations to help other people who may not have the wherewithal to pay for the basic test.
After the basic test and the results are not so bad, we can also help with follow-up medications but if the results say it is quite serious, we can randomly select certain patients and make funds available for a full surgery. So, this is our modus operandi but the thing is, I really can’t do it alone. I’m not a doctor, nor do I have anything to do with the medical sector. My job is majorly to create awareness and publicize to the men that openness is important in these challenging times.
What would you like to say to Nigerians who have been fairly blessed with enough resources to support this kind of project?
So, for any family that has gone through what I have gone through, they will understand, and all they can do is help us with their widow’s mite, whatever they can afford. The truth is I don’t see a lot of NGOs that are catering for men because it’s all about women and children, I mean, men are human beings too. The Charly Boy Foundation is not just about mens’ health and wellness; it’s about our mental state. Our mental state is being eroded seriously like never before. The mental state of most Nigerians now is something to be very, very worried about, so we have professionals who can talk to people, as long as people can learn to open up, and let new information into their minds, because our state of happiness or depression, depends on what we’re entertaining in our minds.
Music star Charly Boy has opened up about his traumatic childhood experiences in an interview with Muvmnt Studio.
The singer claimed he was raped by his nanny at a young age but due to his innocence and lack of understanding, he didn’t recognise it as abuse and instead found it pleasurable.
Charly Boy further shared that by age 12, he had already contracted gonorrhea from visiting brothels.
“I was raped by my nanny. I didn’t feel abused because I actually enjoyed it. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but it felt good. At 12, I had already contracted gonorrhea. I was going to all the brothels around,” he said.
He wrote: “This is for my hard/loving late father; we love and miss you so much Dad. Today being your special day, I just want to say how much we miss you and thank you for shaping me into the person I am today. If no be the rough way u take follow me, i for don lost.
“Heaven is lucky to have you. Happy Birthday dad, I’ll never forget everything you did for me and my siblings and how much you went out of your way for us all. Ur name will never be forgotten; we will make sure of that. Help hail dis Daddy, over try worry am”.
Singer and activist, Charly Boy, has shared intimate details about his complicated relationship with his father, former Supreme Court Justice Chukwudifu Oputa.
In an interview on the ‘With Chude’ podcast, Charly Boy, revealed that his struggles with authority began at home, stemming from his father’s strict rules and punishments.
“My thing with the status quo started from the house. I always used to wonder, why should my father be telling us what to do and giving us all these commands. Time to eat, time to pray, time for this and that and I was sick and tired of it,” he began.
He recounted being frequently whipped and punished for questioning his father’s authority, despite being encouraged to query and investigate.
“I was the one who was whipped the most among my siblings and I was the one that was punished the most because I wouldn’t do what I was asked to do. My father forgot that he was the one who played that in my head, he always used to tell us to query and investigate everything, so I used to have this vocal battle with him all the time.”
Charly Boy admitted that their relationship remained strained for years, with neither understanding the other.
“I didn’t understand his methodology and he thought I was this kid from hell that needed to be punished and trashed seriously and I don’t think we liked each other that much until everyone started getting mature and he started getting older. We then started seeing the beauty of our personalities.
“We didn’t agree on anything and I found out that this didn’t enable me to bond with my father. He didn’t know who I was and I didn’t know who the bloody hell he was,” he concluded.
Musician and activist Charly Boy has paid tribute to the late Chief Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, President General of Ohanaeze Ndigbo, who passed away on Thursday at 82.
Charly Boy revealed how Iwuanyanwu helped rescue his music career in 1981 when he returned to Nigeria from the US.
After disowning his parents for not supporting his music dreams, Charly Boy said he met Iwuanyanwu in his village, Oguta, and received an unexpected gift of $8,000.
This generous act enabled Charly Boy to establish a studio in his village and kickstart his career.
Charly Boy expressed his gratitude, saying Iwuanyanwu was the first Nigerian to believe in and support his dreams.
He highlighted the importance of legacy, touching lives, and inspiring others, and thanked Iwuanyanwu for his kindness, calling him “Biggest bros/father.”
“When I returned from the USA 1981, all I had was a dream as a broke Ass Charly Boy wanna be.
“It was Chief Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu who accidentally met me in my village Oguta, after I disowned my parents for not buying into my dreams.
“He dashed me $8.000 at the time. I almost fainted. Dat gave me the impetus to build the Brand as I started my Jankara studio in my village. He was the very first Nigerian who supported and believed in my dream.
“My people, legacy is really about the lives we touched, the inspiration we gave, altering someone’s plan – if even for a moment – and getting them to think, cry, laugh, argue.
“More than anything, we are remembered for our smiles; the ones we share with our closest and dearest, and the ones we bestow on total strangers, who needed it right then, and God put us there to deliver.
“Chief I can never forget how out of the blues, you jump started my career. I know many will share similar stories of how you touched their live. I remain ever so grateful. Rest In Peace. Biggest bros/father”.
Controversial singer Charly Boy has promised to divorce his wife of 47 years if United States Vice President Kamala Harris fails to win the upcoming presidential election.
Charly Boy, known for unconventional statements, expressed admiration for Harris, calling her his “crush” and asserting that America deserves its first Black Female President after having its first Black Male President, Barack Obama.
The musician made his vow in a social media post, writing in Pidgin, “If dis my crush, Kamala Harris no win the USA presidential election, I swear, I go divorce my wife of 47yrs.
“After the first Black Male President, America deserves the first Black Female President. Sorry rednecks. Dats how we Roll.”
Singer and activist Charles Oputa, also known as Charly Boy, has weighed in on the marital crisis between AY Makun and his wife Mabel.
He argued that a broken marriage is not always the result of failure, but rather an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
He also stated that broken marriages can occasionally generate the strongest individuals.
He wrote on Instagram: “Abegi make una leave AY alone. It is not always true that a broken marriage is a reflection of failure, but rather an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
“Sometimes the most broken marriages produce the strongest individuals. 20yrs no bi beans. Una Well done. AY, edi ok. It’s unfortunate but sh!t happens. Who never f*ckup raise ur hands”.
The Nation reported that AY and his wife, Mabel have hinted on their marriage crash as the duo took to their different social media platforms to dwell on their issues.
