The Nation Newspaper

Tag: Child abuse

  • Child abuse still thrives

    It’s so painful how we fail to recognise the fact that we are the cause of our own miseries; even though we tend to blame some factors for working against us and as such causing problems in our lives. In spite of the outcryby human right bodies, we still find some heartless, callous and cruel people in our society who have no appreciation for the rights of others. These people are still found in the act of maltreating children, mostly maids or children of other people.

    In this technologically advanced age, we still find people who are victims of the brutality and nasty tinge of the past. Maltreatment is an act of the past, and should remain so. Why on earth should we abuse the dignity and rights of others? What pleasure do we gain from making life worthless for others? It is hard to comprehend why some sadists are fond of this barbaric attitude.

    A girl walked up to me in tears one morning; her eyes were swollen. I inquired to know what was wrong. At first I got no reply. The girl in question kept mumbling things I could not understand. “Calm down, talk to me what’s wrong” I pestered. She told me her madamplaced a heavy curse on her for nothing.She said she had done all she had to do – sweeping, and other chores as instructed, only for her to return from her journey to start cursing her over not taking proper care of her children. She wallowed in her tears while pointing at the children who looked smart in their suave wears, dinning happily. I wondered what sort of care she could have rendered differently from what I had seen. From her account, the madam had done pretty nastier things to her in the past but the poor girl was too emotional to hold the false claim that morning.

    Obviously, her madame just wanted to display her ego because I did not seem to comprehend the reason why one would decide to frustrate a young girl who had stood the gap while her boss was away. I also had this type of people as neighbours while growing up. So their modus operandi is nothing new to me. A particular experience comes easily to mind. They had this hefty boy as houseboy. He would do virtually everything in the house; even tasks naturally designated to ladies. Whenever one sees this chap, he was always humping from one chore to the other. It was shocking to learn that he fled that home in frustration. Knowing how b ad his condition had been, I had no empathy for the family which bore the brunt of his absence. After all, who wants to live to be maltreated like a piece of rag?

    Unfortunately, the dictionary meaning of maltreatment is even small compared to what some get as the share of what life throws at them. Why should this menace continue to grow in our society?We hurt ourselves thinking we are hurting others. Life is the best of judges; it pays everyone according to how they treat their fellow humans. It rewards every seed sown; good or bad.

    A video footage went viral sometimes ago. A housemaid poured her venom on a little baby in her care. She stepped on the baby like someone marching on a carcass. Beyond the public outcry, one fact we could not deny was the cruelty of the human mind; its capacity for evil and destruction.

    How can one be that heartless to hurt a baby who cannot speak for himself? Why the callousness? That I could not provide the answer. Was her action an offshoot of revenge? Perhaps to fight back her boss who must have sullied and insulted her humanity? If the lady was treated well would she take revenge for nothing?

    At the end, my conclusions were simple. Parents who maltreat another people’s children are doing so at the detriment of their own children. If those who stay with us are treated badly, they sometimes have a way of repaying their maltreatment. The lady who took revenge on her boss’s child went too far, and of course there are better ways to resolve issues rather than take the law into one’s hand.

    The act of maltreating others – especially disadvantaged kids from troubled homes – is one thing that should be fought to a standstill. It is a menace that should be given no breathing space in our society. We should provide reporting structures and platforms for victims. They must not be allowed to die away in their silence. The world must rise against this evil. The time is now.

     

     

     

  • Child abuse still thrives

    It’s so painful how we fail to recognise the fact that we are the cause of our own miseries; even though we tend to blame some factors for working against us and as such causing problems in our lives. In spite of the outcryby human right bodies, we still find some heartless, callous and cruel people in our society who have no appreciation for the rights of others. These people are still found in the act of maltreating children, mostly maids or children of other people.

    In this technologically advanced age, we still find people who are victims of the brutality and nasty tinge of the past. Maltreatment is an act of the past, and should remain so. Why on earth should we abuse the dignity and rights of others? What pleasure do we gain from making life worthless for others? It is hard to comprehend why some sadists are fond of this barbaric attitude.

    A girl walked up to me in tears one morning; her eyes were swollen. I inquired to know what was wrong. At first I got no reply. The girl in question kept mumbling things I could not understand. “Calm down, talk to me what’s wrong” I pestered. She told me her madamplaced a heavy curse on her for nothing.She said she had done all she had to do – sweeping, and other chores as instructed, only for her to return from her journey to start cursing her over not taking proper care of her children. She wallowed in her tears while pointing at the children who looked smart in their suave wears, dinning happily. I wondered what sort of care she could have rendered differently from what I had seen. From her account, the madam had done pretty nastier things to her in the past but the poor girl was too emotional to hold the false claim that morning.

    Obviously, her madame just wanted to display her ego because I did not seem to comprehend the reason why one would decide to frustrate a young girl who had stood the gap while her boss was away. I also had this type of people as neighbours while growing up. So their modus operandi is nothing new to me. A particular experience comes easily to mind. They had this hefty boy as houseboy. He would do virtually everything in the house; even tasks naturally designated to ladies. Whenever one sees this chap, he was always humping from one chore to the other. It was shocking to learn that he fled that home in frustration. Knowing how b ad his condition had been, I had no empathy for the family which bore the brunt of his absence. After all, who wants to live to be maltreated like a piece of rag?

    Unfortunately, the dictionary meaning of maltreatment is even small compared to what some get as the share of what life throws at them. Why should this menace continue to grow in our society?We hurt ourselves thinking we are hurting others. Life is the best of judges; it pays everyone according to how they treat their fellow humans. It rewards every seed sown; good or bad.

    A video footage went viral sometimes ago. A housemaid poured her venom on a little baby in her care. She stepped on the baby like someone marching on a carcass. Beyond the public outcry, one fact we could not deny was the cruelty of the human mind; its capacity for evil and destruction.

    How can one be that heartless to hurt a baby who cannot speak for himself? Why the callousness? That I could not provide the answer. Was her action an offshoot of revenge? Perhaps to fight back her boss who must have sullied and insulted her humanity? If the lady was treated well would she take revenge for nothing?

    At the end, my conclusions were simple. Parents who maltreat another people’s children are doing so at the detriment of their own children. If those who stay with us are treated badly, they sometimes have a way of repaying their maltreatment. The lady who took revenge on her boss’s child went too far, and of course there are better ways to resolve issues rather than take the law into one’s hand.

    The act of maltreating others – especially disadvantaged kids from troubled homes – is one thing that should be fought to a standstill. It is a menace that should be given no breathing space in our society. We should provide reporting structures and platforms for victims. They must not be allowed to die away in their silence. The world must rise against this evil. The time is now.

     

     

     

  • Oshiomhole advocates stiffer penalties for rape, child abuse 

    Oshiomhole advocates stiffer penalties for rape, child abuse 

    Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State has advocated stiffer penalties against rapists, paedophiles and anyone involved in child abuse to serve as deterrence to others.

    He also urged people of the state to stop giving alms to child beggars to discourage the rising trend of child beggars in the state.

    Speaking to the Chairman and members of the International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) in the state, led by Mrs. Stella Ojemen, who paid him a courtesy visit at the Government House, Thursday, Oshiomhole said, “Edo State Government appreciates that you are addressing some of the challenges that government ought to have addressed like ensuring that we all mount campaigns against rape and defilement as well as ensure that when people have carried out these heinous crimes, that they are properly arrested and that they are diligently prosecuted with a view to sending them to prison.

    “We have discussed this time and again at our Executive Council Meetings and at a point, we asked the Attorney-General to review the laws such that the number of years a convict gets will commensurate with the severe nature of rape and defilement.”

    Oshiomhole added, “we are concerned, we have discussed this and we have a feeling that the number of reported cases are on the increase. We also know that because of the nature of our environment, there will be several others that may not even be reported at all.

    “When you look at the sheer number of rape cases that are recorded, it is clear that across the country, both rape and defilement cases are increasing and therefore this calls for tougher measures on the part of those strengthening the law and providing for stiffer and harsher punishments than what is currently obtained but also ensure that the few cases that are reported are properly prosecuted with a view to securing conviction.

    “Consistent with our commitment in this area, I would advise that whenever you have such cases, when you are likely to have much more information than even the Ministry of Justice or Police, and there might be cases where efforts are made to cover up cases reported in some quarters, you are an NGO and might wish to open up such cases. So I will advise you to liaise effectively with the Attorney-General and also encourage the Local Government Chapters to ensure that all cases are reported.”

    The Governor however noted that the State has recorded a high level of victory in the fight against kidnapping and reaffirmed his commitment to ensuring that kidnappers are completely put out of business in the State.

    He said, “I appreciate the issues you raised about kidnapping and the peculiar challenges that female victims suffer but we are dealing with it globally and we have recorded a lot of achievements. We have presently up to 50 cases of kidnappers that have been arrested and so the era of impunity where the state appears helpless is over.

    “The unfortunate thing though is that as we apprehend we still have more young people going into the business. We will sustain our effort at arresting and ensuring prosecution. We have amended the law to provide for death penalty for proven cases of kidnapping and also to demolish the houses of the kidnappers or any premises used for kidnapping because we feel that landlords are liable, they are supposed to verify the character and status of their tenants. These are some of the measures we have taken to ensure that we make the state a lot safer for our people”.

    The Governor called on the people of the State to join hands with Government and other Non Governmental Organizations to ensure that incidents of child labour and street begging are completely wiped out of the State adding that Edo people are not lazy and will never succumb to begging as an alternative to hard work.

    He said, “on the issue of Child Labour, I am disturbed at the growing numbers of beggars and their children that I see along the streets and a lot of these people are people who have migrated to Edo these past few months and unless we take firm measures, Edo may become a haven for beggars that have been thrown out of even their own states of origin where begging has been prohibited. I have directed the Commissioner for Women Affair to take firm measures to bring this incidence to an end.

    “Edo cannot be a haven for beggars. We recognize the economic challenges but begging is not and will not be the solution and exposing children to begging is unhealthy and I will even appeal to Edo people not to give alms to child beggars because it doesn’t help because women and their fathers push this children to the street, they use them in the manner they do hoping they will attract pity. The more pity we show to those kids, the more they are subjected to these dehumanizing practices. This is not a thing to be encouraged.”

    Earlier, Chairperson of International Federation of Women Lawyers, Edo State Branch, Mrs. Stella Ojemen said they were in Government House to promote the rights of women and children.

    She said, “We are not profit making and not a religious organization, non-political. Our duties are simple: to ensure that women and children who are confronted with all kinds of issues are protected. We are disturbed by the incidence of child labor and trafficking of women in the state and with the plight of widows who are being disturbed by the families of the husband.

    “We are also worried by the incidence of female gender mutilation. We are also worried about the maltreatment of women and children in crisis zones and we are really disturbed by all of these issues.”

     

  • ‘My father had sex with me to confirm my virginity’

    ‘My father had sex with me to confirm my virginity’

    • It’s devil’s work, says dad

     

    A 14-year-old girl has told the police how her father, Waheed Adeboye, 49, defiled her in their Ikorodu, Lagos home.

    She alleged that her father, who is now being detained at the Zonal Special Anti-Robbery Squad (ZSARS) Onikan, Lagos,  first had carnal knowledge of her in November 2014. “He had carnal knowledge of me again on March 5, this year,” she added.

    The victim, a Senior Secondary 1 pupil at Aro Isiode Grammar School in Ikorodu, Lagos, said: “We live in a face-me-I-face-you house in the Adamuo area of Ikorodu. My mother is late. We are four – my brother, two sisters and I. My father was formerly working at the National Open University (NOUN) but now works at a sawmill at Ikorodu. He left our family when I was three years old and he returned when my mother died.

    “In 2014, he used to check my private parts to find out if I had started menstruating. His second wife had already left him. One Saturday, I was sleeping alone on the floor in our one-room apartment; he removed my wrapper and lay with me on the ground while touching my private part with his finger.

    “Later, he asked me whether anybody had tested it and I said no. He said he would use his manhood to confirm. He removed my under-wear and wore a condom. He forced his manhood into me. I wanted to scream, but he held my mouth. After having fun with me, I bled profusely and felt weak.

    “I was angry with him because he is my father, but he warned me not to tell anybody. Sometimes he would ask me why I was browsing with my phone and when, attempted to explain to him, he would hold me and have fun with me. I felt humiliated and went to a church where I narrated my problem. The church brought me here for police attention.

    “He drinks a lot and womanises with prostitutes and other women outside marriage.”

    Adeboye, who sells planks in Ikorodu, said the victim’s mother died in 2007, adding: “I was arrested by the Oodua People’s Congress (OPC) for raping my daughter. They beat me silly and carried me to a church. The church then brought me to Zone II SARS.

    “It is devil work. I did not drink. Please my daughter, if I have offended you, forgive me. I am your father,” he pleaded.

    Zone II Acting Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) Shem Olorunfemi, an Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP), said the matter was reported to the police on May 20.

    The case, he said, was transferred to ZSARS following a petition by a church. This, he said, led to the suspect’s arrest on May 21.

    Olorunfemi said a medical report and police investigations showed that the suspect defiled his daughter, adding that he would be charged to court after investigations.

  • Police urged to tackle child abuse

    A former Deputy Governor of Lagos State, Mrs Adejoke Orelope–Adefulire has urged law-enforcement agencies to co-operate with residents of the state to bring the perpetrators of domestic and sexual violence acts to book.

    She spoke at a public lecture on child abuse prevention organized by the Centre for Rural Development and Community Transformation at the Yhelo House, Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH).

    The programme tagged Preventing Child Abuse in Nigeria: My Role, Your Role brought together civil society experts, community grassroots initiatives, youth groups, lawyers and government agencies.

    According to her, the battle to reduce child abuse in Nigeria can be effectively won when parents, rape victims, and law-enforcement agencies work together to track down sexual offenders.

    She said: “We will allow rape which is unacceptable and intolerable in any sane society to fester when law enforcement agencies cover up sexual offenders or discriminate against rape victims, particularly minors”.

     

    Mrs Orelope-Adefulire lamented that that in many cases, sexual offenders are always close relatives which made it hard for victims to open up or pursue the case to a logical conclusion for others to learn.

    Speaking on the unwillingness of many parents to report cases of abuse when they occur, which she attributed to the fear of stigmatization of victim, she said “we will only encourage the perpetrators to continue in this evil act if we keep quiet”.

    She noted that in 2014, over 900 sexual and domestic violence were recorded in Lagos, which according to her poses a lot of challenges to all stakeholders to brace up in the discharge of their duty in the effort towards ridding our environment of sexual violence in any guise.

    Mrs Orelope-Adefulire was represented by Deputy Director, WAPA, Mrs. Adefunke Odutola.

  • Parents warned against child abuse

    Apapa Local Government Executive Secretary Mrs Bolaji Dada has advised parents to desist from abusing their children.

    She decried a situation where over 40 per cent of children take to street trading, warning that the it could force them into crime.

    Parents, she said, must provide for their children instead of sending them to the streets to hawk to support the family.

    Mrs Dada said: “We owe the children a lot of care and monitoring, unfortunately, the reverse is the case because we neglect our responsibilities to them by embarking on frivolous activities. We lay emphasis on mundane issues at the expense of the lives of these children.

    “It is my own opinion that parents should desist from child abuse of all forms. Some children have been exposed to very disastrous ventures which have adversely affected them. How does one describe a child that is exposed to hawking at a tender age or one exposed to rape, prostitution, armed robbery, drug addiction and other social vices? All these are due to parental neglect.”

  • UNILORIN students dance against child abuse

    The yearly inter-faculty dance was held on Saturday at the University of Ilorin (UNILORIN). Students renewed their commitment to the war against child abuse at the event, held at the Management Lecture Theatre. It was attended by students from all faculties, who participated in a dance competition held to commemorate the event.

    The contest, which is scheduled to hold for four consecutive Saturdays, is organised by Strictly Street Dancers (SSDC).

    The panel of judges, comprising students and some professional dancers, said the contest was to show the world that war against child abuse could be won through dancing.

    Contestants introduced different styles of dance during the contest, including hip-hop, traditional and contemporary dance steps. The judges said the contestants would be assessed based on their costumes, attitudes, stage management, precision and crowd response.

    The judges said beyond entertainment, the dance steps would make people to have a sense of responsibility and make efforts to stop child abuse.

    The participating students came from faculties of Arts, Education, Science, Engineering, Business and Social Sciences, Communication and Information Sciences.

     

  • Effects of child abuse

    Child abuse is the physical or emotional maltreatment or neglect of a child. It is a series of acts of commission or omission by a parent that results in harm, or threat of harm to a child. Child abuse can occur in different places such as homes, organisations, schools or communities which influence the child’s socialisation process.

    A couple of colleagues and I embarked on an investigative exercise recently in Bida, Niger State, to ascertain the menacing proportion of child abuse in our part of the world. We observed that over 35 percent of female children fall victim of child abuse more than their male counterparts, and that the alarming rate of child abuse in the communities visited poses far-reaching implications for the social fabric of Nigeria.

    According to the Speaker of the Niger State House of Assembly, Adamu Usman, a leo child abuse is when the right of a child is oppressively denied or not being treated in accordance with laid-down legal provisions. He stated that the effects of child abuse can cause social stigma and depression, especially in the last stages of a child’s life. Such persons naturally grow up to be antagonistic to the society.

    Speaking on some of the laws made by the State House of Assembly, Adamu said the legislature has passed a number of child protection bills, including a proposal to amend the Child Right Law of 2010.

    He said that the new laws would proffer stiffer punishment for offences of rape and empower the magistrate to hand life imprisonment to offenders.

    The Speaker also emphasised measures the government needed to put in place to reduce child abuse to the barest minimum, adding that the government plans to enhance educational standard, promote enlightenment programmes and collaborate with various bodies to protect the rights of the child. There are various ways to achieve this. Gender rights groups could collaborate with Non-governmental organisations to speed up the rate of advocacy.  Advocacy groups could explore the radio and online platforms to amplify the sour consequences of child abuse.

    A psychologist who spoke to this writer disclosed that child abuse has serious implications not only on the child but the larger society. Children who are abused are likely to be deficient of vital moral values and this foretells potential disaster to a society’s social structure.

    In an interview with Miss Enechi Charity, a lecturer at the Federal Polytechnic, Bida, she said emotional abuse constitutes the most serious cruelty against a child, adding that its effects could last for a lifetime.

    Highlighting the effects of child abuse, the psychologist said the consequences could include an immediate physical and psychological effect which includes higher rates of chronic conditions, health behaviour, shortened lifespan and cases of maltreated children turning out as abusive adults. “Researches have proven that 75 percent of abusive adults were once maltreated as children,” she said.

    In a chat, Miss Zainab Abdulliah, a resident in Bida, argued that asking a child to hawk consumables on the streets does not constitute child abuse, saying it is a means of sustaining the family. She said it was not compulsory for every child to go to school or toe the path of western education. For Zainab, the teachings of Islam are enough to mould a total person.

    Some of the hawkers, who pleaded anonymity, expressed dissatisfaction over their plight, adding that they had to accept their fate since they were left with no alternative.

    Miss Enechi explained that one of the causes of child abuse is marital strife. She said parents who physically abuse their spouses are more likely to physically abuse their children. The psychologist said that there are measures that need to be put in place to prevent the incidents of child abuse in the society.

    Miss Enechi advised the parents to take adequate care of their wards and monitor their socialisation process closely. Parents should watch the kind of friends their wards keep.

    The Speaker called on everyone to take the plight of children serious and expose anyone who infringes on the rights of the child.

    He called on parents to wake up to their responsibility with the understanding that as guardians, we are accountable to what befalls our children.

     

    Maureen, HND II Mass Comm., BIDA POLY

  • Stemming the tide of child abuse

    SIR: Recently, a video recording of a house maid inflicting unbelievable pains on a hapless eighteen months old child, whom ironically she was meant to look after, went wild on the social media. The dreadful sight of the maid pouncing and pounding on the ill-fated child, as in a wrestling bout, was met with widespread indignation across the globe. It was such a disgusting spectacle. Many who saw it wondered what on earth the child could have done to deserve such coldhearted treatment. It was later revealed that the parents of the unfortunate child have been suspecting foul play for quite some time, based on several bruises they have noticed on the body of their child. This, of course, was why they hid a camera in the house to monitor happenings between the maid and the child.

    Regrettably, child abuse has, over the years, remained a recurring blight that major global child rights advocates and groups have been working hard to deal with. According to the International Labour Organisation (ILO), 80 million children of 18 years below are working as labourers all over the world while another two million engage in children prostitution. Without a doubt, child abuse remains a foremost global danger to the development of children. Ugly incidences of callous maltreatment of children, like the one described above, still abound in a world that is gradually losing its sanity. Some of the things that constitute child abuse include maltreatment of children, sexual harassment, denial of education, child labour, intimidation and molestation, physical assaults, neglect, child labour and child trafficking among others.

    Like other members of the global community, Nigeria has been involved in making concerted efforts to frontally confront the evil of child abuse. In order to provide a legal and institutional framework to confront this menace in our country, the National Assembly passed the Child`s Rights law in 2003. Most states in the country have equally domesticated the law. In Lagos State, for instance, the Child Rights bill was signed into law on  May 28, 2007. Since the law came on board, the Lagos state government has been in the forefront of child` rights protection and development.

    In order to properly stem the tide of child abuse in our country and, indeed, the world, parents, guardians and other stakeholders must work together with relevant government and non-government agencies. This is important because effecting a positive change in the condition of the children entails that everyone must stand up to be counted. Parents, in particular, must take extra precaution to ensure that those that they employ to take care of their children are psychologically and emotionally stable.  It is dangerous for parents to entrust their children to people whom they hardly know much about. Similarly, parents must pay quality attention to the education of their children. The idea of engaging children in street trading and other such demeaning tendencies must be discouraged. Most parents that engage in this act often argue that they need to raise extra money for the education of their children. It is, however, difficult to justify such viewpoint as almost every state in the country offers free education that covers primary and secondary education.

    Continuous enlightenment by relevant authorities and agencies on the dangers of child abuse is equally vital. But then, as it has been previously stated, all hands must be on deck in this bid to protect and defend children from abuse. Everyone in the society has a role to play in this respect. For instance, faith based organisations, community leaders, social activists and others must come on board this lofty campaign to respect and restore the dignity and rights of the child. The media equally has a crucial role to play in the crusade against child abuse. Communication experts will, equally, do better in doubling effort to address the menace.

     

    •  Tayo Ogunbiyi,

    Alausa, Ikeja

  • Crusading against child sexual abuse

    Crusading against child sexual abuse

    Statistics detailing the extent of perpetration of child sexual abuse is hugely alarming. Projections show that this statistics will increase if something is not urgently done. Therefore, the urgency of the situation demands that I do not waste time on preambles.

    Cases of child sexual abuse are not receiving adequate attention. In fact, while the cases skyrocket, less and less people clearly and completely understand what it means to sexually abuse a child.

    So this work is an urgent attempt to educate (and perhaps re-educate some others).Urgent because it is very important that we start this discussion now in order to teach as many people as possible while our children can still be saved.

    Child sexual abuse simply refers to the engagement in sexual acts with a person under eighteen. Note that the word “consent” is absent in my definition. The absence was not fortuitous. This is because; a person under eighteen cannot really give consent. So even if the person accepted your sexual overtures, it is still deemed sexual abuse as persons under eighteen cannot legally give consent (in some states in the US, it is 16). I believe that a lot of people do not know this. Thus if we try to explore cases of child sexual abuse using this particular criterion, we will find out that so many people would be found guilty of having sexually abused a child one way or the other.

    That is why it is important that this piece of information is shared.

    There is also the tendency for people to believe that sexual abuse especially as it concerns children has to do with only penetration. This is not true. Child sexual abuse is not only conformed to actual penetration (either with the penis, finger or otherwise).

    Sexually abusing a child also involves the following:

    i) Exposing the child to the view of the sexual organs of others. This may be in the form of allowing them see pornographic materials; see the nakedness of others such as their parents, relatives, etc.

    ii) Engaging in sexual activities in the full view of the child. Note that sometimes when for economic reasons the parents or guardians of children are forced to engage in sexual activities in the same room where the children are, most times, the children are aware of these actions and consequently view them and are affected. Such action is thus a clear case of sexually abusing the child.

    iii) In appropriately touching the child’s private parts.

    iv) Allowing the child to watch movies or programmes rated 18. Programmes rated 18 mostly contain sexual scenes and these scenes would impact the child and make him or her vulnerable.

    The above listed underline something very important; that child sex abuse is not only limited to penetration, or touching of the body (in other words, it is not only physical), but also could come in the form of psychological abuses. It is thus very important that we re-educate ourselves and others so that we can guide against all forms of child sex abuse.

    Earlier, I clarified that a person under eighteen cannot legally give consent (apart from some places where the legal age of consent is 16). Thus, it is now important that I explain that if for any reason, as an adult you have engaged in any form of sexual activity with somebody under eighteen(or 16), then you have sexually abused him/her. It is important that this is made known because a lot of people do not know that “dating” somebody under the legal age of consent is tantamount to child sexual abuse. It does not matter if he or she made the move or if you believe the child accepted to date you. No matter the excuse, the fact that you engaged in sexual acts with such a person simply means that you have sexually abused him or her.

    Having pointed out the various forms of child sex abuse, it is now important that we evaluate some of the core ways in which one can know asexually abused child. The points raised below are definitively not exhaustive but they frame the various ways in which one would know a sexually abused child:

    i) Pain in the private parts (vagina, anus, and penis)

    ii) Discharges (especially foul smelling ones)

    iii) Bruises in the private parts. This can be true for both the girl child and the boy child.

    iv) Psychological disturbances that could lead to abnormal behaviors such as bed wetting and defecating on himself or herself especially when this was not the case before.

    v) Strange behaviour by the child (such as trying to seduce somebody or showing signs of sexual knowledge; becoming withdrawn; performing badly in school; acting anxious; acting abnormally before a particular person.)

    The above stated are some of the ways in which one may know an abused child. Once we notice any of the above, it is right to find out the truth and in the case that there has been a physical abuse, it is strongly advised that the child is immediately taken to a hospital for attention.

    The importance of taking the child to the hospital immediately is so that tests can be run to determine if any sexually transmitted disease has been passed on to the child so that treatment can commence immediately. Also, in case the child has started

    Menstruating, so that conception would be checked. This is why it is very important that such cases are reported within 72hours of their occurrence.

    Statistically, the rate of child sex abuse in this part of the world is alarming. I believe that having gone through the various forms of abuses we discussed above, it is quite obvious that a large number of Nigerian children have been subjected to some form of sexual abuse or the other. The unfortunate thing is that child sexual abuse is perpetrated mostly by people who are around the children; fathers, mothers, uncles, aunties, cousins, maids, drivers, securitymen, neighbours, grandparents, teachers, etc.

    I know that listing certain class of people above would raise eyebrows (like parents and grandparents), but this is the ugly truth as so many stories have confirmed. The child is mostly comfortable with people who are close to him or her and thus such people are the best positioned to take advantage of the child. It is thus strongly advised that in raising the child, extreme care is taken to ensure that exposure to people who may wish to sexually abuse him or her is reduced to the minimum. Also, the child should be taught to understand that his or her private parts are private and thus nobody (not even his or her parents) has the right to touch them inappropriately.

    The Child Rights Act demands that we protect our children from any form of abuse. This legally empowers us to do all we can even for the children of other people. Thus we should all form a community police and ensure that our children are well protected from child sex abuse. When we notice a case of abuse, it is pertinent that we immediately swing into action by contacting any child right organization available and making sure that appropriate action is taken.

    Also, it is important that the points shared here are conveyed to as many people as possible in order to engender a much needed public re-education. A lot of people in our society do not adequately grasp what it means to abuse a child sexually hence the need for this re-education.

    The world as it is is already mired in so many problems. While we struggle to find solutions to the many problems confronting our world today, it is pertinent that attention is also reserved for our future. By correcting and re-educating as many people as possible today, we can at least begin to create better future. And the future as it is is all about our children.