The Nation Newspaper

Tag: corner

  • ‘People like to cut corners’

    ‘People like to cut corners’

    Nigerian Institution of Surveyors President Mr. Akinleye Oyegbola, in this interview with Muyiwa Lucas, says cutting corners is a challenge that must be eliminated in the real estate sector. 

    What are the challenges facing surveying and how do you wish to tackle them?

    From the fall-out of the profession not promoting itself, you have to talk a lot and the society loses. The Geographic Informatics System (GIS) gives us the opportunity to manage our information for the benefit of the society. But, it is a tool. You have companies peddling the GIS. Because of the level of enlightenment of leaders, they try to think of what they can gain and not the problems. When problems arise, they will now call in the surveyor to clear the mess. The state governors want to know the amount of money to be made. It is the surveyor they will now call to solve the problems. Leaders should have surveyors as consultants. The Survey Departments in federal and state governments should ensure that this is adhered to.

    In the area of Certificate of Occupancy (C of O), I do not blame the governors for giving out the C of Os. But they should not do it to the detriment of the surveying profession. The surveyor has toiled to render services. Chief executives of states should realise this. The government of a state cannot employ auditors to audit firms. The government’s quantity surveyors cannot do everything. You must have both the private and public. They should ensure that all sides are happy and we will still achieve the assured goal. Most of the work we do involve the lands. That is why we have problems. If you want to construct a tunnel, you could construct the tunnel by digging from both ends and you meet somewhere. The quacks are there and are digging from both ends without proper direction and they make mistakes as they cannot meet. Then you call in the surveyor to correct the mistakes. You should have brought in the surveyor from the start so that you get your direction from the beginning. When you make mistakes, you spend more time and money to correct them. A lot is meant for the surveyors in the developing countries, even in dam construction. The surveyor plans maps for navigation for the aircraft ans the ships. But people do not know.

    To what extent are the federal and state governments patronising local surveyors?

    I have visited states’ chief executives, deputy governors and commissioners. I used the opportunity to hammer on the issues we are facing. At every state I get into, I talk to them on how we can come in to help in their drive for revenue generation. The success has been very tremendous and wonderful. We are also talking to sectoral groups. We belong to the Environmental group of the APBN and we use the platform to tackle some of our challenges.

    Could you explain how the trend of collapsed structures or buildings in cities and road failures be tackled?

    The issue of collapses of structures is what President Muhammadu Buhari is trying to tackle, which is corruption. Nigerians are not short of ideas. We are enlightened. But, it is the will to maintain propriety. There is no building that is being put in place that you do not have the list of professionals involved in the job. But, they do not use them. People like to cut corners. Even public officers are part of it. We have robust structures we do not use. We have agencies which concentrate in making money instead of ensuring that something is done properly. Corruption is in several ways.

  • In each other’s corner

    TOLU and Aramide were often more fun and playful in the early stages of their relationship. It looked like a union made in heaven and they were a source of envy to friends and family members.  However, this playful attitude faded gradually as life’s challenges or old resentments start getting in the way. Just when they thought they had it all, it melted away.

    The idea of a great relationship is something a lot of people look forward to. Interestingly, it doesn’t always work out this way. In some cases, the lovebirds start a process and things just fall into place nicely. Here, the truth is that a lot of work goes into the process and life is just smooth and exciting.

    If it isn’t, then the emotional war begins and the centre may just never hold again.  One basic thing that we need to understand is the fact that there are different phases in a relationship. Here you go from the good, the bad and then to the ugly sides. Conversely, the relationship (s) may start from the bad side, something you didn’t plan for and did not have high hopes about.

    However, as you move on, you just discover that this is what you have been craving for all along and the relationship metamorphoses into something interesting and splendid. The crux of the matter, however, is that relationships are usually not so predictable but the most important thing is to put in your best to make it work.

    So, the big question would be what it takes to have a successful relationship. The truth, however, is that it takes a lot of dedication, focus, and work. Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance. And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.

    The best relationship advice, according to experts, is “easy does it.” Too often we get caught up in fear-based needs to control our partner. This pull becomes a destructive compulsion that corrodes the integrity of the relationship. It replaces respect and compassion with anger and resentment. It destroys the quality of our lives and, over time, the relationship.

    This advice has impacted the way many approach romantic relationships, creating a new world or space which later allows for less reactivity, more peace, happiness, and respect.  The classic struggle of all relationships is finding the right calculus in the togetherness-and-autonomy equation. Typically, when a relationship is under stress, one of the partners asks for physical space to break the tension.

    This would naturally reduce the tension and help to bring back lost affection and a process of rediscovery begins.

    The best way to incorporate space is by being proactive and providing emotional rather than physical space. To do this, lovebirds need to give each other the space to be themselves and to have their experiences without trying to control the outcome.

    It calls for a lot of hard work but the rewards are well worth the effort.

    A school of thought believes that things get better when

    “both of you always think about giving 90% to your partner and you both will be very happy.” What this means is that it is always important to think about how your partner is feeling, try to stand in their shoes and be emotionally generous. The other 10%, they argue, is for the understanding that sometimes it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to place your needs first, or stand firm on something. They also made it clear that this only works if you are both giving 90%”

    A couple that has had a terrific experience shares their success story this way: “I just celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary. I definitely think about my spouse’s needs and feelings the majority of the time and try to be compromising. In return, I feel he is 90% thinking of me and how to consider my feelings and be supportive and loving. Sometimes, this means giving something up, but actually most times this means we both get what we want and we both feel very loved, supported, and that we are in each other’s corner. I don’t feel afraid to be giving, because he really has my best interests at heart. We are a terrific team and often we agree on what we want. And when we don’t, we tend to take turns supporting the other’s wants.”

    Conversely, some people think it is better to be selfish to avoid having a broken heart. “It’s not my partner’s job to make me happy. It’s my job to make me happy. Of course it’s easy to feel good when my partner is acting in a way that I want but needing them to be a certain way in order for me to feel good that’s bondage. Thinking that they’re always going to be in a good mood and directing their affectionate attention towards me  while that may be possible during the initial stage of a relationship, is impossible to sustain long-term. I’m responsible for my happiness. My partner is responsible for her happiness. We deliberately focus on things to feel good in our lives and for things to appreciate in each other.”

  • HEALTH CORNER

    Do you take biscuits, snacks, fruit juice or drinks to school? Have you ever read the contents. The packages? They mostly contain artificial Flavours and a lot of sugar that are not too good to be eaten daily.

    Instead of artificial fruit drinks and snacks why not tryout a fruity snack!

    This week, ask your mum to get you some common fruits to snack on in school.

    Have a Fruity Snack Week.

    Try these on;

    Monday: 5 sticks of carrots with some peanut butter or groundnut paste.(small picture of carrots )

     

    Wednesday: 4 bananas and peanut burger or roasted groundnuts. (picture of banana)

    Friday: An apple and some slices of cucumber (picture of apples )

  • Boxed into an emotional corner

    TO be or not to be. That obviously is the question you ask yourself when you want to go into a new venture, a relationship or a career path. First you need the conviction to go on because that would be the foundation on which so many other things would be laid.

    Once you are sure that you are on the right path, then it would be smooth sail. But if for some reasons you just cannot find a good answer to your question or questions, then you may be at the crossroads.

    This scenario also plays itself out in our relationships. Most times, a lot of lovebirds are at affection’s crossroads. Yes, you admire someone very well but there are some unanswered questions.

    This is exactly the stage in which Lauretta is at the moment. She has a crush for this guy but there are so many odds against the survival of that relationship. Should she forget this dream or pursue her heart’s desire and damn all the other consequences. Somehow she decided to be a dreamer and the dream came with memories of gains and pains.

    Scroll down memory lane and you find her recalling some of the happy moments.

    It started on a bright afternoon at a Lagos registry with some friends. Wedding bells were certainly ringing in style here, and in a couple of minutes the lucky hearts were tied together and admonished to live happily together forever. They were happy for a while but it was not forever.

    Riveting in your mind are questions about the real status of lovebirds. Are they truly in love? Would they be ready to make the necessary sacrifices required to make it to the end? Or could this just be a public show of affection, a show that would likely come to an abrupt end?

    Well, the truth of the matter is that it takes only two hearts to determine how far they are going to go in a particular relationship. It can be a continuous marathon love race if they are both sincere, determined and have the same emotional dreams about the future.

    Even though you just couldn’t take a look at the different hearts to know exactly what they are thinking or imagining, you realise that the lucky fellows have finally scaled the first hurdle.

    Also at another registry recently, you find Kate and Henry hanging onto each other so passionately. They walk out of the registry smiling and smiling. The photographer clicks on and on, trying to keep the memories for posterity. Images they could turn to and remember the very beginning. Images children from the union are likely to laugh about, pass the usual comments and compare notes.

    Apart from the smiles there was nothing really interesting about the new couple, they looked so different in outlook and you wonder if they were really meant for each other. Or was it one of those arrangements? All this may not really count; the most important thing is if the hearts are united.

    United in love forever. They are not alone. It’s D-day and 12 marriages have been fixed, and everyone is eager to sign the dotted lines. Take a deep look into the crystal ball and you find gaps in different areas of their lives. These include age disparity, height, weight, class and dress code.

    Any way what has age got to do with love? It is just a number and it does not guarantee whether a relationship is going to work or not. If you have two people who are both in the same age bracket, you would expect them to share certain things in common. Interestingly, this does not guarantee the success of their relationship; there are some other cogent reasons to hold on to each other in love.

    Also when we talk about the height of the couple, you can also imagine what people dream or desire. Women naturally would want a guy who is taller than they are, whilst the prince charming would prefer same height or slighter shorter than he is. But the truth of the matter is that all these grand rules of affection have been broken and replaced with other reasons based on the expectations of the lovebirds. It is always important to weigh the options and select what would be best for you. It is not about sympathy, you must make sure that you are going to fit in and enjoy this new beginning.

    When you finally make up your mind then you are in charge. If this is not the case, then we can say that you have been boxed into an emotional corner. It is not the best because you are going to be complaining and grumbling all the time.

    So it is better to cross check and be sure that you have played the right game, you need to be sure that you heart beat is chanting the right love anthem and this would help to reconcile your love account.

    But if the love pendulum is not balanced, then the lovebirds need make use of the positive love currents to get back on track. It is a very pertinent stage and you must be sure that it is what you really want.

    For all you know it may just be mere infatuation, something that would only carry on for months or a few years. When it lapses you may just want to run away. However, the truth of the matter is that you would have created a big vacuum, a vacuum nothing or nobody can ever fill again.