Couples recently gathered at the initiative of Practical Living Initiative to discuss ways of sustaining peace in the family, reports Yetunde Oladeinde
VIRTUALLY everyone understands that a prosperous, organised and morally balanced society is hinged on good homes. Unfortunately however, this often becomes a dream when marriages are in disarray.
The need for peace in marriages and by extension the society is perhaps the major reason Mrs. Tinuola Agbabiaka, a lawyer cum relationship expert, through her non-governmental organization (NGO), Practical Christian Living Initiative (PCLI), recently hosted a special timeout for couples at Lagos Oriental Hotel, Lekki, where issues relating to ‘love of money and finance in marriage’ were discussed.
In his welcome speech, chief host of the occasion, Mr. Oriyomi Agbabiaka, explained that many marriages have crashed because of the inability of partners to have a workable understanding about finance and other thorny issues, but PCLI, a peace-loving organisation, in the past nine years, has been impacting relationships and helping couples to build wholesome unions.
The event, which was attended by over 50 couples from different parts of the country, came to a high point, when the convener, Tinuola Agbabiaka, in her presentation, urged couples to work as teammates because this will not only strengthen their union, but also make couples committed to each other’s overall growth.
While delivering a talk on money tips, she emphasized honesty and transparency as important factors couples need to imbibe in managing the economy of their homes. She also enjoined them to have money talk time because this is one of the prerequisites for financial prosperity in marriages.
“Don’t go into debts without your spouse’s knowledge. It is very important for you to have your facts ready before calling for a meeting. During such meetings, talk about long and short term goals and responsibilities. Have your figures right and don’t hide things. Create plans and agree on money. It is also very important to understand different views on money.”
She went on, “There are too many liars as couples. The funny thing is that you can’t get away with it because your spouse eventually finds out. Don’t go into debt without your partner’s knowledge or consent. Don’t hide your pay slip. Don’t hide things; remember that lie begets lie.”
“Be prepared to make sacrifices. Understand that men and women have different use when it comes to money. For men, money is like a scorecard and not having it is like failure; it makes them less of a man. Women on the other hand see money as security, they believe that with money, their children’s future is secured,” she added.
Guest speaker at the occasion, Albert Oluwole enjoined couples to guard their finances jealously and prevent it from affecting their sex life. While highlighting importance of fidelity, honesty, righteousness and mutual trust in marriage, he encouraged couples to have financial plan that respects Five S: “Sow, Settle debts, Spend, Save and Spare.”
Marriage according to him requires certain attitude and has certain graces, which makes it important for couples to understand each other’s view on money. Oluwole also identified prayer as a necessity in building homes.
Of course it was not just a talk-affair, as couples present prayed, danced, sang God’s praises, and ate and laughed together. Prayers were also offered for ailing marriages. Couples present also took part in couple’s dance. The best dancing couple was presented with gifts.
At the end of the proceedings, not a few couples who attended the event opined that Christian couples need more of such outings to re-ignite their love, as well as explore ways to improve themselves.
The event began earlier in the day when the NGO hosted a special men’s summit tagged, ‘A man worthy of respect’.
The forum was held to educate young male adults willing to learn and improve themselves to be good husbands and fathers.
Mrs. Agbabiaka, who spoke extensively on the theme, urged participants to be open to God and be ready to be guided in the right path, adding that if more men avail themselves of opportunities to improve on their lives and relationships, instead of remaining fixated on the values and culture imbibed from their background and environment, relationships and by extension the nation, will be positively impacted. The overall effect, she upheld will be peace and prosperity for the land.
