The Nation Newspaper

Tag: Crying

  • Crying lot of Negropolis

    Crying lot of Negropolis

    As a writer and columnist held in some regard, you get the request all the time, plaintive pleas and sobbing jeremiads about the forlorn and dire fate of the Black person in a world that now seems even more determined than ever to leave Africa behind, stranded by choice so to say. When you point at some oases of hope and regeneration on the continent, despite everything, they tell you to remove the blinkered optics. Principled pessimism is better and more productive than obscene optimism, they charged. There is a peculiar poignancy about old people crying. It speaks to some deep unease in the polity; some fundamental angst and elegiac regret about how it came to pass. You cannot but feel pity and compassion even if you have eaten the head of a tortoise as part of the ritual of tough-mindedness. Here follows one of those that came during the week from a friend, longstanding academic colleague and retired don from OAU.

    Read Also: Okpebholo: ‘Politicians who wrote fake results now crying of rigging’

      “In our lifetime, Thomas Sankara was quenched under mysterious circumstances…now we have his Soul coming forcefully in Ibrahim Taore’s body…to rescue black race from the vice- grip of Western world, yet those of you our Messiah are digging deeper into the slavery cesspool.

       Who will save us? Asiwaju Alamu…….. GBA WA ooooo.”

    Ojogbon Adekola Junaid

  • Helping neonates communicate beyond crying

    Helping neonates communicate beyond crying

    • By Kayode Ojewale

    The early stages of life are a critical period for neonates, commonly known as newborn babies. During this time, they face various challenges, including the inability to express their needs, pains, and requests except through crying. This form of communication, while effective, often leaves caregivers puzzled, trying to decipher the underlying message behind each cry.

    Understanding their unique communication cues and providing appropriate support can help alleviate their distress and foster a deeper connection between caregivers, especially mothers, and neonates. The bond formed during these early interactions lays the foundation for a trusting relationship and positively influences a child’s emotional and social development.

    Crying is a neonate’s primary means of communication, signaling a range of needs and discomforts, including hunger, fatigue, discomfort, and pain. While crying is a natural and normal part of infant behavior, deciphering its meaning can be challenging for mothers. Each cry carries subtle variations in pitch, intensity, and duration, offering clues about the neonate’s state of mind and well-being.

    Learning to interpret different types of cries and accompanying cues can help caregivers respond more effectively to a neonate’s needs. Neonates communicate through a combination of vocalizations, facial expressions, body movements, and gestures. By observing and recognizing these subtle cues, mothers and caregivers can gain insights into a neonate’s needs and feelings. For example, rooting reflex, where a neonate turns their head towards a touch on the cheek, indicates hunger, while clenched fists and arched back may signal discomfort or pain.

    Responsive caregiving is essential in meeting a neonate’s needs promptly and sensitively. Offering comfort, such as holding, rocking, or gentle patting, can help soothe a distressed neonate and meet their immediate needs. Establishing skin-to-skin contact, also known as kangaroo care, promotes bonding and helps regulate a neonate’s body temperature, heart rate, and breathing. This intimate contact fosters a sense of security and comfort, reducing stress and enhancing communication.

    Introducing simple gestures or signs can help neonates communicate basic needs, such as hunger, sleep, and discomfort, before they develop verbal communication skills. Consistency and repetition are key to reinforcing these signs and facilitating understanding. Over time, neonates may begin to mimic these gestures, indicating their comprehension and readiness to communicate.

    Creating a calm and soothing environment free from excessive noise and distractions can help reduce a neonate’s stress levels and enhance communication. Soft lighting, gentle music, and comfortable temperatures promote relaxation and well-being, creating an optimal setting for bonding and interaction.

    A crucial support parents, especially mothers, can provide to neonates is vigilant monitoring to promptly identify any changes in their condition. Regular pediatric visits allow healthcare professionals to monitor a neonate’s growth, development, and overall well-being. Addressing any concerns or issues promptly ensures timely intervention and support.

    Encouraging age-appropriate activities and interactions can support a neonate’s developmental milestones and enhance communication skills. Engaging in tummy time, playing interactive games, and reading aloud stimulate cognitive, motor, and language development. These enriching experiences foster curiosity, creativity, and social skills, laying the foundation for future learning and communication.

    Understanding the different gestures made by babies can also help decrease their crying episodes or duration. Observation is key to interpreting a neonate’s gesticulation signs. Paying close attention to their facial expressions, body movements, and hand gestures can provide clues about their current state and needs.

    Read Also: 10 good health benefits of crying

    Neonates’ repeated actions or displays play a crucial role in understanding their gesticulation signs. By observing and noting their responses to various stimuli and situations over time, mothers can learn to recognize patterns and understand their unique cues. This familiarity enables caregivers to respond more confidently and effectively, meeting the neonate’s needs promptly and sensitively.

    Establishing a strong bond through skin-to-skin contact, cuddling, and maintaining eye contact enhances communication and understanding between caregivers and neonates. This close connection fosters trust and security, making it easier for caregivers to interpret and respond to the neonate’s gesticulation signs with empathy and care.

    The role of prayers in understanding newborns’ needs cannot be underestimated, as it serves as a guiding force in deciphering the intricate signals and cues they exhibit. While mothers rely on their knowledge and instincts to tend to a newborn’s immediate needs, there might be underlying areas requiring attention that are not immediately apparent. These subtle signs could indicate potential health issues, discomforts, or developmental needs that should be urgently addressed to avoid any complications. Through prayers, caregivers and mothers especially, seek divine guidance and wisdom, aiding them in recognizing these hidden challenges and providing timely interventions to ensure the well-being and optimal growth of the newborn.

    In closing, supporting neonates in overcoming their communication challenges requires patience, attentiveness, vigilant monitoring, and understanding. By learning to interpret and respond to their unique cues, providing nurturing care, and promoting developmental activities, mothers can help neonates feel secure, understood, and valued. Building a strong bond and fostering effective communication from the earliest stages of life sets the stage for healthy development, resilience, and lifelong learning.

    • Kayode Ojewale, of the Public Affairs and Enlightenment Department of LASTMA, writes via kayodeojewale@gmail.com
  • 10 good health benefits of crying

    10 good health benefits of crying

    Crying is a natural response humans have to a range of emotions, including sadness, grief, joy, and frustration. Well, it is true to an extent since people cry when they are not happy with something in life. But, not many people know that there are positive aspects to crying. Research has shown that crying can give you health benefits.

    Here are the 10 health benefits of crying:

    1. DETOXIFIES YOUR BODY

    Crying relieves your body of a stress hormone called cortisol. Even though cortisol has some benefits, people who are prone to stress have higher levels which is quite dangerous to their mind and body. Crying can reduce the cortisol levels in the body which in turn can lower your stress. So, the next time you find yourself stressed due to your job or your personal issues, find a private space where you can have a cry!

    1. RELIEVES EMOTIONAL PAIN

    Emotional pain is sometimes tougher to handle than physical pain. You can use painkillers to quickly relieve yourself of pain, but the same trick won’t be useful with emotional pain. People often see emotional pain as a sign of depression. Psychiatrists prescribe medications can do more harm than good. Those medications may provide some temporary relief, but they can give you harmful side effects too. One of the natural ways to relieve emotional pain is crying. Scientists have done studies on crying which showed that crying can release neurotransmitters in the brain which can alleviate emotional pain.

    1. HAS ANTI-BACTERIAL EFFECTS

    This should be one of the most surprising health benefits of crying. Scientists say that crying is effective in killing harmful bacteria in the body. They attribute this anti-bacterial property to a particular enzyme called lysozyme. This enzyme is present in tears that come down from your eyes while crying. It is said that lysozyme can kill bacteria within 15 minutes. There have been experiments that have shown that tears can even fight bacteria which cause anthrax. Lysozyme can destroy the cell walls of bacteria which would eventually result in the destruction of the bacteria. So, next time when you cry, make sure you get tears and also try to swallow some of the tears instead of wiping it off.

    Read Also: Tinubu appoints new Board for NAICOM

    1. IMPROVES EYESIGHT

    Crying can improve your vision. Again, tears coming out while crying is responsible for this. Tears have the ability to lubricate your eyelids and eyeballs. They actually end up hydrating your eyes. Dehydration is one of the common causes of deteriorating eyesight. But, tears can naturally offset this problem. It is common knowledge that dust particles can cause eye problems. But, tears have the ability to take away the dust particles in your eye. Tears can also hydrate mucous membranes present near the eyes. So, the next time you feel itchy in your eyes or your vision seems blurry, try crying with tears.

    1. CRYING FACILITATES BREATHING IN BABIES

    Newborn babies cry a lot. The crying sound can sometimes be deafening and you may think that something is wrong with the baby. But, crying is actually good for babies. As a matter of fact, it is not a good sign if a newborn baby isn’t crying as it may be a sign that the baby is facing breathing difficulties. Most newborn babies cry naturally. But, if a baby is not crying, then doctors try different things such as holding the baby upside down or dipping the baby in cold water just to make the baby cry. This is actually known as a baby’s first cry and is extremely vital for the baby’s breathing once the umbilical cord is cut.

    1. INDUCES SLEEP IN BABIES

    Making babies sleep is a common challenge that parents face. When a baby cries, its parents try hard to stop it from crying. But, let him or her cry can help the baby sleep. Parents should learn a technique called ‘controlled crying’ which is effective in inducing sleep in an infant. It is said that a baby sleeps longer after crying and the chances of the baby waking up in between sleep is also reduced as the baby tends to go into a state of deep sleep after controlled crying.

    1. MOOD ELEVATION

    People often try different things to elevate their mood. But, nature has given us a simple tool called crying which can elevate our mood without the help of any external elements. Tears are known to be natural anti-depressants. Some studies have also been conducted in this regard which showed that tears can improve a person’s mood and make one feel positive. Crying is actually considered to be a self-soothing technique. People with mood-related disorders or anxiety issues can definitely give crying a try. Crying can make you inhale cool air which is useful in lifting your spirits up. Inhalation of cooler air can also regulate your brain’s temperature.

    1. IMPROVES IMMUNE SYSTEM

    Scientists have conducted experiments which revealed that crying has a positive impact on our immune system. It is said that crying is particularly effective against skin allergies since it regulates the secretion of immunoglobulins. People prone to allergic reactions can have an abnormal secretion of immunoglobulins. People with eczema and other skin related disorders can use crying as a natural way to prevent allergic reactions. People suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, an autoimmune disease, noticed a reduction in pain and other symptoms after crying. Crying can control the secretion of all kinds of immune chemicals which are known to aggravate allergic symptoms.

    1. AIDS SLEEP

    A small study in 2015 found that crying can help babies sleep better. Whether crying has the same sleep-enhancing effect on adults is yet to be researched.
    However, it follows that the calming, mood-enhancing, and pain-relieving effects of crying above may help a person fall asleep more easily.

    1. IT REDUCES MANGANESE

    The simple act of crying also reduces the body’s manganese level, a mineral which affects mood and is found in significantly greater concentrations in tears than in blood serum. Elevated manganese levels can be associated with anxiety, irritability and aggression.

  • Crying in the rain

    ONE way to discover and rediscover yourself is by learning from others. Everybody certainly has a love story to tell you and you can be sure that no two stories can ever be the same. You can also learn from others by reading love stories or watching such movies at home or the cinemas. Lovebirds love to dine out and watch movies and this certainly is one of the best places to learn and appreciate those you fall in love with, what goes on in their hearts, as well as how to live happily together forever.

    For many, this certainly looks like a dream. That was what yours truly discovered at the cinema lately. Lots of lonely buddies and happy folks are literarily crying in the rain. In this kind of scenario, nobody is likely to see your tears because the raindrops would be stronger than your teardrops. The only difference, however, is that you are going to purge yourself from the bitter memories, the uncertainty and the frustrations of running after an elusive heart.

    Interestingly, yours truly discovered this phrase from the movie ‘Journey to self ‘written by Ashionye and produced by Fressia Entertainment during the week at the Silverbird Cinema.

    Would it be interesting to watch? You also wonder if it’s going to bring fresh revelations for an old timer like yours truly. Doubting Thomas? No need for that. The best way to tap from your environment is to have an open mind, this way you can get water out of any stone.

    So, yours truly got set and it was time to learn from five yawning hearts, hearts that either fell in love or allowed love to get the better of their lives at some point. It was the story of five friends who went through different emotional phases to rediscover themselves. Unfortunately, the fifth lady (Uche) did not have the opportunity to get a second chance on the affectionate timetable. She committed suicide when she discovered that she meant nothing to the man she was married to. Instead of being loved, she was a mere property whose worth had been reduced to nothing when she could not bear children.

    In the movie, you follow the story of five childhood friends, Regina, Nse, Rume, Alex and Uche who was a victim, sacrificed on the altar of love. Interestingly, she (Uche) was the one who pulled her friends together over the years with a seemingly happy disposition. She gave others a shoulder to cry on while she bottled up all the tears in heart. Sadly, she left with a series of letters, letters which later provoked her friends to open up on secrets that had become almost ‘stale’.

    Luckily, it made them do the things they feared to do and it ushered them into another interesting phase in their lives. Alex threw away her toy boy and got a real man. Nse got the courage to tell her husband about a baby she had way back in school and to her surprise he forgave and accepted her. Regina opted for divorce while Rume’s relationship had also broken and could not be mended.

    As they poured their hearts out, it brought vivid images of the deception, blackmail and bitterness from people they love or thought loved them. It made you laugh and cry a little. The things women go through – all for love. Can they really do without the heartaches which have actually become part and parcel of almost every relationship?

    Humour from Rume and good production made it a delight. It also brought to the fore issues about women and relationships as well as how to find a way out of the emotional woods if you ever get to this point. It featured Nse Ikpe Etim, Dakore Akande, Tosin Sido, Katherine Obiang and the writer of the script, Ashionye Michelle Raccah. In it, you find tips on how to make good use of friendship as well as how to be a friend indeed. Lies, secrets and self discovery are the other things that you discover as you allow your mind to explore the many possibilities encountered in the love arena.

    It is only natural to want to keep and treasure something that good. If you are lucky to have a very special connection, then you would do everything to make it last. And because it’s so good, you start to think that maybe you’ve finally found your Mr. Right. It is at this point that you find a lot of ladies getting anxious about something going wrong, or about him suddenly “changing his mind” about her. Unfortunately, this is precisely the moment where a lot of women make a lot of mistakes. You can and should communicate what you want to a man and set certain standards.

    But you have to do it from the beginning… not keeping things bottled up, “hoping” he’s thinking and intending the same things from the relationship that you are, and then feeling upset and confused when months later you find out that he doesn’t. If you let a man know what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship early on, then he won’t feel cornered or “hassled.” He’s going to suddenly be wildly open, affectionate and want more with you. Don’t let it scare you when you see such a big sudden shift.

  • Crying is good for health, says expert

    Dr Uthman Mubashir, Public Health Physician of the University of Ilorin Teaching Hospital, has said that emotional tears have special health benefits for people.

    Mubashir told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in an interview in Ilorin on Tuesday that crying had “therapeutic emotional freedom”.

    “Tears are protective and they lubricate your eyes, remove irritants, reduce stress hormones, and they contain antibodies that fight pathogenic microbes,” he said.

    He explained that tears might decrease arousal of distress and make people feel better.

    According to him, reflex tears are 98 per cent water, whereas emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying.

    Mubashir said that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress.

    The public health physician, who teaches at the College of Health Sciences of the University of Ilorin, noted that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, “our body’s natural pain killer and feel-good hormones”.

    “Crying makes us feel better, even when a problem persists. In addition to physical detoxification, emotional tears heal the heart,” he said.

    Mubashir warned against dissuading people from holding back tears, saying that holding back tears was a form of bottling up emotions that could trigger stress and other problems.

    “We are in a society that tells us we’re weak for crying, in particular that powerful men don’t cry.

    “The new enlightened paradigm of what constitutes a powerful man and woman is someone who has the strength and self-awareness to cry,” he said.

    He reiterates that “it is good to cry, it is healthy to cry. This helps to emotionally clear sadness and stress.”

    Crying, he pointed out, was also essential to resolve grief when some someone lost a dear one.

    “Tears help us process the loss so we can keep living with open hearts. Otherwise, we will be depressed if we suppress these potent feelings.”

  • Crying wolf

    •Buhari should not be deterred by Jonathan’s ministers’ outburst

    If some of the ministers who served in the Goodluck Jonathan administration had their way, they would want Nigerians to decorate them with garlands for their ‘meritorious service’ to the nation. This is the impression one gets from the letter by the ministers to President Muhammadu Buhari, asking the president to give his predecessor ‘his due respect’. The former ministers say that the Buhari presidency and the All Progressives Congress (APC) have been condemning, ridiculing and undermining the efforts of the Jonathan administration as well as rubbishing the integrity of its individual members.

    A statement issued on August 30 by Dr. Abubakar Suleiman, former Minister of National Planning, on behalf of the aggrieved ministers, put their grievances in bold relief: “We, the ministers who served under the President Goodluck Jonathan administration, have watched with increasing alarm and concern the concerted effort by the Buhari administration and members of the APC to condemn, ridicule and undermine the efforts of that administration, in addition to impugning the integrity of its individual members”.

    And, as if to tell Nigerians that they made a mistake at the polls in March, the group added: “We are proud to have served Nigeria and we boldly affirm that we did so diligently and to the best of our abilities. The improvements that have been noticed today in the power sector, in national security and in social services and other sectors did not occur overnight. They are products of solid foundations laid by the same Jonathan administration.”

    It is regrettable that some of President Jonathan’s ministers would come out to say the kind of things that Dr Suleiman said, given the monumental disaster that their administration represented, leading inexorably to its defeat at the presidential election. Indeed, it shows how unserious and petty some of our highly-placed people could get in their self-delusion.

    We cannot see anything that President Buhari has done to warrant the complaint by these former ministers. Contrary to Dr Suleiman’s insinuation that the present government is painting every member of the Jonathan government with the tar of corruption, only a few of the former president’s ministers are being mentioned in most of the scandalous revelations and allegations that are making the rounds in the country.

    If Dr Suleiman cares to know, no one should have any apologies for saying the Jonathan administration was corrupt because that was the least that could be said about that government. So, the question of vilifying it does not arise. In the same vein, there is nothing that is ill-intentioned, unduly partisan, and in bad faith about the allegations.

    The best we would have expected Dr Suleiman to do was defend himself as a person if he was not involved in the monumental graft and primitive accumulation that have come to define that era.

    We urge the Buhari administration not to be intimidated by the ranting of these former ministers or any other group or association that might want to derail the government’s anti-corruption efforts. Rather, it should be more resolute in its bid to know what happened to our money, particularly in the Jonathan years. Lessons must be taught and learnt; and how do we do that if we do not beam the searchlight on that dark epoch in our national life?

    If, truly the former ministers agree as they claimed in the press statement, “that every administration has the right to chart its own path as it deems fit”, then they should leave the Buhari administration to pursue the anti-corruption war its own way. Anyone who feels offended by the way it is going about it can approach the courts for redress.

  • ’My daughter was crying when we saw her’

    ’My daughter was crying when we saw her’

    Until she left home in Abuja for the Federal Polytechnic, Bida, Niger State, Charity Uzoechina could be described as mummy’s and daddy’s girl. She was barely out of their sight.

    Every Sunday, she was an active member of the choir of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Christ Chapel zone in Kwan Kwanshe, Abuja, where her Ogwashi Ukwu, Delta State-born father is the pastor-in-charge. Her two siblings, a boy and a girl, are still active in the choir, where she has been missed since her departure to study Public Administration.

    Her departure from Abuja, where her parents, Pastor and Mrs. Raymond Uzoechina, call home, was the first time she went to Bida, the emirate where Alhaji Yahaya Abubakar is the paramount ruler as the Etsu Nupe.

    Charity, which the emirate now identifies as Aisha, has been at the palace of the Etsu Nupe for months. Pastor Uzoechina says she is there a captive and not a freeborn as the palace claims.

    He told The Nation yesterday on phone that the emirate’s claim that he would harm her was made up to keep the girl away from her home.

    Pastor Uzoechina wondered how those holding his daughter would feel if someone from the South holds their daughter. He said he was not interested in fighting the Etsu Nupe, but only interested in getting back his daughter so that the joy in his home will return, adding: “I am in the midst of Muslims and if the girl wants to practise Islam as they claim, must it be in his palace? I am not fighting him. I just want him to release my daughter.”

    Said the distraught dad: “When I insisted during my first visit to Bida that I wanted to see her, they brought her and I called out to her. I told her ‘Charity, your mother is very sick because of you. Let us go home’. She said: ‘Yes daddy, let me go and carry my things’. And as she made to free herself, the two captors held her down.”

    The pastor said his petitions to the Niger State Chief Judge and police have not been acted on.

    An ailing Pastor Uzoechina, who spoke from hospital bed, said this injustice must be reversed.

    His words: “My daughter was crying when we saw her. They never allowed us speak with her. It is not true that the royal father invited me and the girl for talks, with the hope of reconciling us. On March 2, I came to the palace and was taken before the Etsu Nupe. The Etsu Nupe never asked the girl to go back home with me as claimed.

    “When they told me she had embraced Islam, I demanded that I was going home with her. But the man declined, saying only the emir has the power to allow the girl go with me. They took me to the emir but the emir refused my plea, saying I should come back next week.

    “The last time we saw her, she was like someone in captive. She was not free. She was even crying. She greeted the mother and was crying when she was being led away. The mother is feeling bad and not happy. You need to come to Bida on August 1 when they will rule on our challenge to the jurisdiction of the Sharia Court for you to appreciate what we are going through.

    “They claimed to have served me and I refused to come to the court when all they did was to bring a paper and said ‘sign, sign’, without explaining anything to me until they later said they were from the Sharia Court. Contrary to the principle of natural justice vis- a-vis fair hearing, I was not served either with the court summons/processes or hearing notice. The case was filed on March 4; the case was heard March 4 and judgment delivered on the same day. In fact, judgment was also executed on the same date. The question is: why the urgency?”

    “They (Sharia court) have fixed Thursday, August 1 for ruling on our appeal that they don’t have jurisdiction. You can’t judge a Christian in a Muslim court. I am appealing to them to vacate the judgment because they don’t have jurisdiction.

    “It is not true that my daughter made the allegation that I would kill her if she returns home. Why should I kill her? We asked them to bring her to the court so that my lawyer can cross-examine her but they refused. If she has converted to Islam, must she practise at the Etsu Nupe’s palace? Is Etsu Nupe the chief security officer now? They should not separate my daughter and me. She has stayed in the palace for months. If they say I will harm her, let them release her to the Inspector General of Police, leader of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) and ask me to write an undertaking. I will write an undertaking. I can’t kill my daughter. We need her at home. We are missing her.

    “This matter is more than meets the eyes. All kinds of big people are threatening us. Why should I be threatened over my daughter? I trained her to this level and they just want to take her away from me like that. And if it is marraige, marriage has a process.”

    The Bida Emirate, in a statement, said the Etsu Nupe should not be blamed for the girl’s alleged voluntary decision.

    The statement said Miss Uzoechina approached the monarch for protection following her change of faith from Christianity to Islam on February 15.

    “The royal father invited the father of the girl for talks, with the hope of reconciling them. On March 2, the father came to the palace and was taken before His Royal Highness. It was at His Royal Highness chamber the father came face to face with his daughter. After discussions with both the girl and her father, the Etsu Nupe asked the girl to go back home with her father to resolve the matter as a family.

    “The girl refused to go home with her father.”

  • Crying in the rain

    ONE way to discover and rediscover yourself is by learning from others. Everybody certainly has a love story to tell you and you can be sure that no two stories can ever be the same. You can also learn from others by reading love stories or watching such movies at home or the cinemas. Lovebirds love to dine out and watch movies and this certainly is one of the best places to learn and appreciate those you fall in love with, what goes on in their hearts as well as how to live happily together forever.

    For many, this certainly looks like a dream. That was what yours truly discovered at a cinema lately. Lots of lonely buddies and happy folks are literarily crying in the rain. In this kind of scenario, nobody is likely to see your tears because the raindrops would be stronger than your teardrops. The only difference, however, is that you are going to purge yourself from the bitter memories, the uncertainty and the frustrations of running after an elusive heart.

    Interestingly, yours truly discovered this phrase from the movie ‘Journey to self’ written by Ashionye and produced by Fressia Entertainment during the week.

    Would it be interesting to watch? You also wonder if it was going to bring fresh revelations to an old-timer like yours truly. Doubting Thomas? No need for that. The best way to tap from your environment is to have an open mind, this way you can get water out of any stone.

    So, yours truly got set and it was time to learn from five yawning hearts, hearts that either fell in love or allowed love to get the better of their lives at some point. It was the story of five friends who went through different emotional phases to rediscover themselves. Unfortunately, the fifth lady (Uche) did not have the opportunity to get a second chance on the affectionate timetable. She committed suicide when she discovered that she meant nothing to the man she was married to. Instead of being loved, she was a mere property whose worth had been reduced to nothing when she could not bear children.

    In the movie, you follow the story of five childhood friends, Regina, Nse, Rume, Alex and Uche, who was a victim sacrificed on the altar of love. Interestingly, she was the one who pulled her friends together over the years with a seemingly happy disposition. She gave others a shoulder to cry on while she bottled up all the tears in heart. Sadly, she left with a series of letters, letters which later provoked her friends to open up on secrets that had become almost ‘stale’.

    Luckily, it made them do the things they feared to do and it ushered them into another interesting phase in their lives. Alex threw away her toy boy and got a real man. Nse got the courage to tell her husband about a baby she had way back in school and to her surprise he forgave and accepted her. Regina opted for divorce while Rume’s relationship had also broken and could not be mended.

    As they poured their hearts out, it brought vivid images of the deception, blackmail and bitterness from people they loved or thought loved them. It made you laugh and cry a little. The things women go through all for love! Can they really do without the heartaches which have actually become part and parcel of almost every relationship?

    Humour from Rume and good production made it a delight. It also brought to the fore issues about women and relationships as well as how to find a way out of the emotional woods if you ever get to this point. It featured Nse Ikpe Etim, Dakore Akande , Tosin Sido, Katherine Obiang and the writer of the script, Ashionye Michelle Raccah.In it you find tips on how to make good use of friendship as well as how to be a friend indeed. Lies, secrets and self discovery are the other things that you discover as you allow your mind to explore the many possibilities encountered in the love arena.

    It is only natural to want to keep and treasure something that good. If you are lucky to have a very special connection, then you would do everything to make it last. And because it’s so good, you start to think that maybe you’ve finally found your Mr. Right. It is at this point that you find a lot of ladies getting anxious about something going wrong, or about him suddenly “changing his mind” about her. Unfortunately, this is precisely the moment where a lot of women make a lot of mistakes. You can and should communicate what you want to a man and set certain standards.

    But you have to do it from the beginning… not keep things bottled up, “hoping” he’s thinking and intending the same things from the relationship that you are, and then feel upset and confused when months later you find out that he doesn’t. If you let a man know what you will and won’t tolerate in a relationship early on, then he won’t feel cornered or “hassled.” He’s going to suddenly be wildly open, affectionate and want more with you. Don’t let it scare you when you see such a big sudden shift.