The Nation Newspaper

Tag: daughters

  • My husband sleeps with our daughters, wife claims

    A 63-year-old businesswoman, Mrs. Mabel Alli, has prayed an Igando Customary Court, Lagos to dissolve her 41-year-old marriage, accusing   her husband, Richard, of sleeping with their daughters and impregnating her sister.

    She alleged that he sexually molested their three daughters, describing him as a womaniser.

    “After impregnating my sister, he took one of our daughters to hospital to have an abortion.

    “My 13-year-old daughter told me that he always sneaks into her room to have sex with her.

    “I have caught my husband red handed on top of our third daughter. My friends and domestic workers are not exempted. I have caught him making love to them too”,  the petitioner claimed.

    She alleged that her husband was fetish, adding that he wanted to use her for money ritual in order to finance his political ambition.

    “He has taken me to herbalists in Badagry, Sango and other places for money ritual. I followed him because he said it was for goodwill.

    “I stopped following him to herbalists when the last herbalist he took me to asked me to come alone the following day, but I went with one of our daughters.

    “He told me that I should stop following my husband about and should run for my life, as he wanted to use me for ritual or make me mad, so that he could inherit my belongings, which included cars and houses.

    “My husband collected money from me, using charms. He spent it on his political ambition, but he lost the election,” Mrs. Alli said.

    She alleged that her husband does not take care of their children.

    “Everything rests on me. I shoulder the responsibility of feeding my family, paying school fees, among others.

    “I implore this court to dissolve the union. I am no longer interested in it because my husband wants to kill me,” she told the court.

    Richard, who denied the allegations, said he was also no longer interested in the marriage.

    He claimed that he was the source of his wife’s wealth.

    The court President, Mr. Adeniyi Koledoye, fixed May 2 for judgment.

  • Parents, teach your daughters contentment & endurance!!!

    DEAR Mummy Temilolu, I clocked 27 last month yet I have my virginity intact. I have passed and am still passing through hell in the hands of men! Living a chaste life hasn’t been easy for me but I must confess your posts and prayers have kept me going. Please keep it up ma! I was compelled to share your last post to serve as a reminder of my heavenly package which the Lord has in store for me. The temptation and sexual urge is at its peak now but I won’t ever compromise – NEVER! I can’t afford to lose my glory because I have come too far to give up. Please have it in mind that you are going to grace my wedding when that special man finally arrives. I will be most delighted to see you watch your daughter/mentee fulfil her promise to God on her wedding day. Please you have to promise me you’ll be there! I love you!

    Ujunwa (Nnewi)

     

    Dear Parents of my darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    Reasons your teenage girls are obsessed with boyfriends!(Contd.)

    1. Financial incapacity

    Times have been hard for so many since the beginning of time, however, there’s no time in history when moral values was ignored by many parents and caution thrown to the wind as this age! Many parents have not done well in this regard. Isn’t it rather appalling to find an expensive phone with a girl whose parents can barely afford to pay her school fees? Or find her putting on the trendiest of clothes to lectures? Fathers may not know the clothing items their daughters have, however an average mother knows her daughter’s wardrobe/what she bought her. Yet you find so many girls going home with clothes their parents never bought them and their mothers aren’t bothered to question them! There are so many young ladies on campus whose parents have never bought a car yet they have cars gifted to them by boyfriends. And with the latest set of role models this generation of girls has, the thirst for material things/luxury has risen to a disturbing level such that most girls would rather concentrate on looking fabulous and sexy to attract and date rich guys/men than concentrate on their education/self-development! If you ask me – there’s serious fire on the mountain!

    We are at an age where girls below 16 readily sleep with guys for a paltry sum of N500 because most of them don’t know any better! A lot of parents are terribly submerged in their economic hardship such that they can’t be bothered to look after their offspring who should be their compensation and goldmine in future. Yet they allow them rot – yes, these girls rot away while they should be making the most of their virtues, vivid imagination, super innate skills and potential to chart a course that will give them all the money in the world in future! Unfortunately, a lot of them can’t endure hardship because they don’t have enough conviction from their closest relatives while too many are suffocated by the social media and pressure running after wealth that could avail them the good things of life sleeping around with all sorts of men, exposing their destinies to a demonic invasion that will ensure they never live out the glorious life they are entitled to. How sad!

    You need to teach your children – both male and female, contentment right from their impressionable years! The pressure out there is alarming and it’s going to get worse. You can imagine why a young man would decide to use his mother, girlfriend or sibling for rituals just to make money! Girls (females) are wired by God to be natural goldmines – they can have anything and everything they can ever desire; they are loaded with so much! Now what happens when these powerful spiritual gifts are dashed to or satanically-diverted by a boyfriend or completely contaminated? I know some women who were really “happening” in their early 20s, flying first class flights all over the world, painting the town red with latest designer wears and brand new Mercedes Benz cars who are now penniless in their 50s! It appears their potential to make money and be self-sufficient disappeared! This is a very serious matter! Yes, you and your children may be suffering so much hardship and you want your children to make the most of their relationships and have some economic respite! However, you’re better off delaying gratification! Believe me, there’s no one who truly resisted temptations of the good things of life and rebuffed sexual advances from men who God will not glorify and place the world at her feet!!! Stop directly or indirectly pushing your daughters to boyfriends/sugar daddies!

    • To be continued.

  • Parents, stop shaming your daughters & pushing them to guys!!!

    DEAR parents of my darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    If you want to damage your children emotionally, compare them unfavourably with other children! It’s such a cruel way to deal with your children even when you probably don’t mean to in a bid to ginger them up academically or in other endeavours! Only a few of today’s youth would get over it easily and take it as a challenge to overtake whoever you’re comparing them with! Also, some parents do this excessively even when it isn’t necessary. As I mentioned two weeks ago, some parents are not intentional about their parenting and fail to see their children’s challenges which are no fault of theirs and also cannot recognize their sterling qualities and work on these areas. THIS IS SO SHAMEFUL! And in fact wicked! The other day, a young lady wrote this on Instagram:

    “I’m literally sick and tired of coming home every time to witness the mental    torture my parents put my brother through because he’s written UTME twice and didn’t get admitted. I can’t wait to start working and get an apartment of mine so I can move in with my young man and help him escape all this rubbish! This was a boy that grew up with ADHD without a support system to back him up. Took him going to a boarding school to gain some balance and assert himself. He was unbelievably top of his class. And every now and then he suffers reproof and public shaming because he never seems to be enough.

    He’s literally become a shadow of himself. No friends, no social life, nothing. Imagine constantly being reminded that you’re a useless first son because you repeated three classes and your younger sister have caught up with you. Or being compared to your peers who are ahead of you every single day. I lost 16kg in less than a year because of this. Went from 79 to 63kg because I had to spend one more depressing year at home feeling like a failure because I wasn’t admitted into the university. As I look at my brother daily, all I see is a young man struggling so hard to get out of a sunken place. He told me the only time he’s truly happy is when I’m around!

    How much do you have to hate your home for you to not want to be there? I honestly don’t know who it was that added insulting comparisons, mental/verbal abuse and degradation to the list of parenting skills. I don’t understand why you need to walk the path of torturing your own child in order to pass a message! We’re always very quick to eulogize our parents, which isn’t a bad thing. But we should also be swift to admit when they get things entirely wrong. A lot of us are going to re-enact the bad parenting we experienced in the hands of our parents to our own kids because we saw nothing wrong in It!”

    You can just imagine the deep-seated disappointment and bitterness this young lady has towards her parents for her to have vented out and written this and gotten the attention of instablog naija – one of the most popular Instagram handles in Nigeria! How my heart goes to the young man who must be wishing a lot of times that he was never born. However, I thank God he has a strong sister who can see him through becoming the world’s greatest! I also feel really terrible that this young lady is at the risk of falling in love with the wrong person because she needs a lot of fawning over to heal her aching soul. If she spends more time in her boyfriend’s home, getting into all manner of expression of love- giving her body, mind and soul to a man so she can forget her cold, loveless and heartless home, I’d be the first to blame her for engaging in premarital sex(if she did)! Yet, she and her brother are being brutally tossed into the wilderness of life!

    A lot of mothers who slipped and fell into the wrong marriages because they got pregnant or who just found themselves as single mothers and had their dreams scuttled would rather slut-shame their girls when they see guys around them. They start too late in ensuring they don’t follow their pattern, I dare say all they’re left with is a damage control! What a reckless way of life! You can instil all the world’s discipline in your children and treat them as though they’re your heart-beat! You can still drive all the fear you want to drive into them while at this. It would go a long way in determining what would become of your daughter, how she would handle her relationship with guys, the type of man she would end up with and the type of children she would raise in future. May you have peace over your children in your old age!

    • To be continued.

  • Sons and daughters of Zion

    SIR: What sort of emotional utopia generates the practice of some sons and daughters of Zion inquiring from spiritual homes if certain suitors are fated to be their spouses till deaths do them part? Some sons and daughters of Zion today appear to be lazy. To marry Rachel and Leah, Jacob worked for fourteen years, toiling for Laban in the farm and another six years looking after his flock.

    What do some people do now; they visit men and women of the Lord, self-styled apostles, mummies and Arch-bishops with photographs of suitors and pray the Lord’s servants reveal to them who their right suitors are. And it is amazing. This fellow, a graduate of a great university went with three photographs to one such daughter of Zion. What did university education teach him? A university education, however important, is only for those who have the openness of character to learn. He did not learn the gift of male-female interaction. He went to lecture halls, then back to his hall of residence, cooked beans, ate and slept.

    How can anyone love three women at the same time without going insane? The daughter of Zion, unmarried, past her prime, saw a very fair man to look at and asked him to pray harder and give her more time to consult with the Lord about the preferred suitor. The status quo remained every time he went for inquiry. Until the son of Zion volte faced and began to love the daughter of Zion who was never his intended target. You needed to witness his tantrum. It is either the daughter of Zion or no-one else. They are married today but the Lord could never have decreed such because he doesn’t support laziness. At their wedding, people wept for him, they couldn’t understand why a very fair man to look at could marry such a woman of Zion who is older than him by more than fifteen years.

    A full relationship is intellectual, social and sexual. It involves the dissipation of energy, there aren’t short cuts. Teenagers need be told that they do not need to have partners as they call it today. It is not necessary because they are not mentally prepared for the challenges in relationships. Besides it is easy to miss critical goals in life because of misdirected priorities which early relationship encourages.

    Adults want the easy way out now. Not many have the emotional stamina to take ladies out as an opportunity to measure compatibility.

    I asked after someone recently and was shocked to hear that she is dead. In undergraduate days, she dated a fellow who barely went to school. They were so incompatible. I asked her to leave him be but she wouldn’t because the relationship was decreed according to her by someone she respected in the Zionist Temple. How can a schooled lady marry an unschooled man and say it was decreed? Such an uncooked man. I met him once. What would they be discussing? Story short is that he beats the daylight out of her from time to time over trifles when they got married and word has it that such ill-treatment which he denied led to her death. She bore him two children.

    Could the Lord have lied? He doesn’t. Quit infecting people with your lazy schemes. Pursue people you think you love in the right sense and warm your way into their hearts and not cover up for your ineptitude by visiting religious homes on emotional quest. Adam was the only human being that the Lord gave a wife. He doesn’t do that any longer. People who dissipate energy in engaging in the wasteful anachronism of seeking help for love are poorly educated or not educated at all. ,

    Is stupidity becoming a worldwide phenomenon? Rest in peace to the friend in whose memory I gathered my frame to write this piece.

     

    • Simeon Abah,

    Abuja.

  • Four men ‘defile’ colleagues’ two daughters

    Four employees of Kazmus Nigeria Ltd were yesterday brought before an Ikeja Domestic Violence and Sexual Offences Court for allegedly defiling two daughters of their colleague. The girls are three and five years old

    The defendants are a driver, Ojo Taiye, 35; a security guard, John Mohasan, 24; a tiler, Peter Arabo, 33, and another driver, Adenekan Adedeji, 40.

    They were arraigned before Justice Sybil Nwaka on a three-count charge of defilement and sexual assault by penetration.

    They pleaded not guilty.

    Prosecuting counsel Ms I. Solarin  alleged that the defendants committed the offences in November 2015 at their workplace on Fagba-Iju Road, Agege.

    Solarin said: “The defendants on different occasions defiled the sisters by having sexual intercourse with them.

    “They also on different occasions sexually assaulted the older sister who is five-years old by penetrating her mouth with their manhood’’.

    According her, the children who are nursery and primary school pupils spent time at their father’s workplace after school hours. The defendants and other members of staff usually babysit the kids, while their father worked.

    She said the defendants defiled the girls when they were alone with the sisters.

    The prosecutor said the three-year-old girl told their father what happened when she started having pains in her private parts.

    The father, on further enquiries, found out that his older daughter was also defiled by his colleagues.

    According to the prosecutor, the offences violated Sections 137 and 259 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2011.

    Justice Nwaka ordered that the defendants be remanded in prison custody.

    She adjourned till April 27.

  • Video: Aisha Buhari to Boko Haram: Leave our daughters alone

    Video: Aisha Buhari to Boko Haram: Leave our daughters alone

    From the president’s wife, Mrs Aisha Buhari, came yesterday words of comfort for the distraught parents of all abducted schoolgirls. Mrs. Buhari said she shared in their sorrow and agony.

    She said she shared the agony of especially parents of the abducted Chibok and Dapchi school girls.

    She spoke in Abuja while delivering a speech she titled: “Leave Our Daughters Alone’’, to mark the 2018 International Women`s Day.

    ”As a mother, I share (in) the sorrow and agony which the parents are going through up to this moment.

    “I am aware of the efforts being made for the release of the remaining Chibok girls as well as the recently (abducted) Dapchi girls.

    “It is my sincere hope that the efforts will yield positive results.”

    The wife of the President said that the abductions had further exposed the long-standing evil perpetrated against women in the society.

    Mrs. Buhari called on stakeholders, especially the media, to stand against the “disturbing issue’’.

    ”It is a disturbing issue for which we must put heads together, pray, speak out, show concern and ensure that the situation comes an end.’’

    She called on Nigerians, especially the media, to join the campaign against all forms of abduction and maltreatment of the Nigerian woman.

    Mrs Buhari said it was unfortunate that celebration of the 2018 International Women’s Day came with pains and agony following the abduction of the Dapchi schoolgirls.

    She also expressed concern over the use of young girls by insurgents to carry out suicide bombing.

    She, however, congratulated Nigerian women for successfully marking the Day and prayed for greater opportunities for the Nigerian woman.

    The wife of the President also prayed for women to have equal opportunities in governance as their male counterparts.

    The wife of the Vice-President, Mrs Dolapo Osinbajo, said the 2018 event came in a very happy and worst situation, considering the progress made by Nigerian team at the winter Olympic as well as the abduction of the Dapchi girls.

    Mrs Osinbajo also called for equal opportunity to the women.

    The United Nations set aside March 8, of every year to mark the International Women’s Day.

    The event was organised by the National Centre for Women Development in collaboration with the wife of the President.

     

  • Daughters of Igbo Woman for premiere Nov 13

    Following a successful tour in October of two memorial sites in Bristol, United Kingdom – the Georgian House Museum; Greenbank Cemetery ‘the Bearpit’ – for Black History month, Daughters of Igbo Woman will berth in Lagos on November 13, at the Freedom Park to thrill film lovers.

    The film was part of the Journey to Justice Bristol programme held between August and October,

    It looks forward to another impressive outing and is open for a possible tour of other cities in the country.

    Three African writers – Ros Martin (UK), Akachi Ezeigbo (Nigeria) and Vida Rawlins St Kitts – are united in weaving this moving tale in memory of Fanny Coker (Fanny being shortened form of Fumnanya) to mark her 250 birth anniversary and to commemorate International Slavery memorial day.

    Daughters of Igbo Woman is a literary film that recaptures and renders audible and visible the forgotten voices and lives of three generations of 18th century African women from one family permanently separated by the transatlantic slave trade in inhumanity. Utilising University of Bristol 18th Pinney archive papers, the trilogy digital shorts that comprise “daughters”, are scheduled for screening, which is open to all, at the Freedom Park on Monday November 13 by 6:30 pm as an extension of the Lagos Book & Arts Festival, LABAF 2017.

    The Artistic Director, Martin says: “It is an absolute thrill and honour for daughters to be presented on Nigeria soil where the narrative begins, linking our common ancestry for those of us in the Diaspora. We, African women writers, have evoked ancestors’ voice into landscapes of our residence, in bringing together the three film shorts we symbolically reconnect to honour our common ancestral spirits who endured forced migration, separation and loss”.

    The first part of the trilogy opens with Prof. Ezeigbo rendering Abu Akwa (dirge) in memory of Ojiugo in the wake of her daughter’s disappearance. Set in 1764-Uga in present-day Anambra State, Southeast, Nigeria, is during the time of the boom of slave trade when activities of head-hunters were rampant with women and children often falling victims of wars and raids.

    Similarly, while Adaeze ends up on a sugar plantation in the Caribbean, her daughter – Fumnanya, is taken to Bristol, UK and her mother is emotionally forced to pen her an effusive letter.

    The film has been sponsored using public funding by the Arts Council England and supported by Bristol Culture, The Georgian House Museum and Journey to Justice.

     

  • Man charged with defiling daughters

    A 50-year-old step father, David Ekong, who allegedly had carnal knowledge of two of his step daughters, was yesterday arraigned at an Ikeja Chief Magistrates’ Court, Lagos.

    The accused, a bricklayer, who lives at 30, Abule Oki Street, Iyana Ipaja, a Lagos surburb, is being tried for defilement and assault.

    The prosecutor, Clifford Ogu, told the court that the offences were committed on September 2 and 4 at the accused’s home.

    He alleged that the accused, who married the mother of the two girls, defiled the first girl, 16, and raped the second girl, 12, on different days.

    “The accused threatened to kill them if they tell their mother,” the prosecutor added.

    He said when the first girl resisted him a few weeks after he defiled her, the accused beat her up.

    “It was then the girl told her mother what the accused had been doing with her and her younger sister.

    “The mother reported the matter at the police station and the accused was arrested,” Ogu said.

    The offences contravene sections 135, 171 and 259 of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2015.

    The accused pleaded not guilty.

    The Chief Magistrate, Mrs. Taiwo Akanni, granted the accused bail at N250,000 with two sureties.

    She adjourned the case till November 21, for mention.

     

  • Man, 50, ‘defiles’ neighbour’s underage daughters

    The police have accused a 50-year-old man, Okon Etim, of defiling two children of his neighbours aged eight and nine years’ old.

    Etim was arraigned yesterday at a Surulere Chief Magistrates’ Court on a four-count charge of defilement, unlawful treatment and unlawful detainment.

    Prosecuting Sergeant Anthonia Osayande told the court that the defendant committed the alleged offences on August 15 at No. 32, Ogunsanmi Street, Itire, around 4pm.

    She alleged that Etim, who was a neighbour of the girls’ parents, had sexual intercourse with them at different times.

    “Being a neighbour to the girls, who are on vacation from school, and their parents had gone to work, he lured the girls to his room and defiled them.”

    The offences, according to the prosecutor, contravened Sections 135(1) 137, and 144(1) of the Criminal Law of Lagos State, 2015.

    The defendant pleaded not guilty.

    Magistrate Aro Lambo granted him N300,000 bail with two sureties in the like sum, one of whom must be his blood relation, while the second surety should be a civil servant of not less than Grade Level 14.

    The case was adjourned till October 5 for advice from the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP).

  • Plumber held for ‘sexual assault’ of daughters

    A 42-year-old plumber, Idowu Lasisi, has been arrested for allegedly molesting his daughters.

    Lasisi was brought to the Police Command at Ikeja yesterday following his 15-year-old daughter’s claim that he sexually penetrated her three times.

    The suspect, it was gathered, started the molestation with his 19-year-old daughter who fled their Ketu, Lagos residence when she could no longer bear it.

    It was gathered that his wife, Labanke left him because of the alleged incestuous act.

    Lasisi was said to have turned to his 15-year-old daughter after his wife and eldest daughter left the house. He allegedly gave her N500 each time he slept with her.

    But the suspect denied the allegation, claiming the victim framed him up because he scolded her.

    A source said: “The victim was brought by her mother to the station and we have sent her for check-up. The mother said she left her husband two years ago, when she discovered that he was sleeping with their eldest daughter.

    “The woman is a trader and she left her three children behind. When the older daughter couldn’t stand the thing, she ran away from home and no one knows her whereabouts.

    “According to the younger girl, her father started coming to her one night last year and he gave her N500.  She said there were times she would fight him off but that he succeeded in having sex with her three times. Out of frustration, she stopped going to school.”

    Police Commissioner Fatai Owoseni said the victim has been taken to the Mirable Centre for medical examination. Investigation, he said, was ongoing.