Tag: deal

The result is that the new young woman sees herself in  the same way that the young man sees himself as “grown up”. They tend to want to plan. All forms of known diseases (genetics, infection, chemical) must be eliminated and or prevented from interfering with the conception and pregnancy. The dangerous canal of birth and process of birth must be well guarded and secured to prevent any injuries to the child at birth. After birth, the child should be well defended, nourished, protected, guided, and instructed as may be appropriate for the age and should be schooled in knowledge and wisdom including the power of words, before puberty sets in from age of 10, on the average. If this foundation is not well laid in the child, the subsequent personality may suffer:  The child may not behave well.

The Age of Rebellion and Mistakes: 11-18

The surge in energy during puberty years needs to be properly channelled. Unknown to these young individuals that they are very vulnerable; they often proceed to take actions that are really dangerous to their health. The reasons for this are: 1)  There is less interaction with parents and guardians 2) They are now stepping out of family home/influence and are mixing with their peers outside. 3) They are likely to listen to their peers /school mates and thus ignore the instructions of parents 4)      They are more likely to experiment with their body and experiment with substances. 5) They are more likely to be lazy, want to be lazy but in need of or request for money they refused to work for. 6) They take more irrational risks than mature adults. 7)      They are full of energy.  8) They are more likely to be sexually and economically exploited.   Common Mistakes in Adolescent Years 1)      Substances Misuse:  In both boys and girls, substances (cannabis, cocaine, alcohol, heroin, cigarette and so forth) may be introduced to them by friends, school mates or rarely by family members at about the crucial age of 13 years or less!  Mental health problems (Psychosis, depression) may occur and schools may also suffer. The future is therefore in jeopardy.  The solution is to say “no” and to receive proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, religious entities, good schools, counsellors and so forth).  Children should avoid mind-bending substances at all cost. Substances interfere with workings of the mind. Substances could fuel anger, fuel violence and rape.  It is crucial to hang out with or be friends of good people who would obey the law. 2)      Pregnancy and early parenthood. By experimentation, early sex, peer pressure, unguarded access to TV and internet, lack of knowledge about how the body works and purpose of the puberty and reproduction may lead the girls to early pregnancy and parenthood. Early pregnancy and parenthood could mean an end to ones career or it may delay career for a long time resulting in financial hardship and unhappiness as well as abuse of the new born.

Solution: The solution is to say “no” to pressure to have sex and to receive proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, religious establishments, good schools, and counsellors). This will also prevent rape incidents seen among the teens.

3)      Poor nutrition: Distorted media images of “thin is good” may feed into the psyche of the young persons or for other reasons; they may not eat on balanced diets nor eat enough. This failure could impair the future reproduction and economic productive activities. Good and balanced meals are necessary for healthy living.

Solution: The solution is to say “no” to media pull or pressure and to receive and follow proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, churches, good schools, counsellors etc).

4)      Wrong career: A wrong step here could mean a lot in future. The young person should choose what he or she wants to do under proper guidance of parents, schools and career advisers.

5)      General rebellion (with or without substance misuse, criminal damage to properties, harming others) is sure to land the youngster on the wrong side of the law. This could end the person’s future career. If he or she is sent to prison for offences committed, he or she or he/she could become worse in prison and miss the life’s purpose completely. There is no pleading of mistake in law.

Solution: The solution is to receive and obey proper instruction from well meaning persons.  Say “no” to pressure. Hang out with good friends that obey the law. Work hard. Stay away from trouble.

6)  Gender identity crisis. There are some who may be male genetically but appear as female when they were born.  This is due to failure of their hormones to cause them to develop properly. Such individuals are actually male. They may have been raised as a female and are thus seen as female even though they are male. Also, there are some who are female but when they were born may have appeared as male if the hormones had caused them to develop as male.  They may have been raised as a male even though they are female. How individuals such as these should be raised should be discussed within the family and doctors as soon as possible to avoid confusion later in life.

7) Sexual orientation: This writer holds the view that social and peer influence has a strong impact on sexual orientation. Other influences on sexual orientation are: how the person was raised {see (6)} above. Other reasons are attempts to be rebellious against the society and religious rules, attempt to be or a claim to be biologically or socially different.  Lack of social ability skills and confidence to approach opposite gender may lead the individual to align, out of convenience, with his own gender—sexually.  Enticed with money and some other rewards, the teens are very vulnerable to manipulation by the adults and abusers and this manipulation and abuse may be responsible for tangential sexual orientation. The solution is to receive wise and proper guidance (from good parents, good religious organizations, good schools, good mentors and good counsellors or friends).

Teenage years are vulnerable and perilous times.

The result is that the new young woman sees herself in  the same way that the young man sees himself as “grown up”. They tend to want to plan. All forms of known diseases (genetics, infection, chemical) must be eliminated and or prevented from interfering with the conception and pregnancy. The dangerous canal of birth and process of birth must be well guarded and secured to prevent any injuries to the child at birth. After birth, the child should be well defended, nourished, protected, guided, and instructed as may be appropriate for the age and should be schooled in knowledge and wisdom including the power of words, before puberty sets in from age of 10, on the average. If this foundation is not well laid in the child, the subsequent personality may suffer:  The child may not behave well.

The Age of Rebellion and Mistakes: 11-18

The surge in energy during puberty years needs to be properly channelled. Unknown to these young individuals that they are very vulnerable; they often proceed to take actions that are really dangerous to their health. The reasons for this are: 1)  There is less interaction with parents and guardians 2) They are now stepping out of family home/influence and are mixing with their peers outside. 3) They are likely to listen to their peers /school mates and thus ignore the instructions of parents 4)      They are more likely to experiment with their body and experiment with substances. 5) They are more likely to be lazy, want to be lazy but in need of or request for money they refused to work for. 6) They take more irrational risks than mature adults. 7)      They are full of energy.  8) They are more likely to be sexually and economically exploited.   Common Mistakes in Adolescent Years 1)      Substances Misuse:  In both boys and girls, substances (cannabis, cocaine, alcohol, heroin, cigarette and so forth) may be introduced to them by friends, school mates or rarely by family members at about the crucial age of 13 years or less!  Mental health problems (Psychosis, depression) may occur and schools may also suffer. The future is therefore in jeopardy.  The solution is to say “no” and to receive proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, religious entities, good schools, counsellors and so forth).  Children should avoid mind-bending substances at all cost. Substances interfere with workings of the mind. Substances could fuel anger, fuel violence and rape.  It is crucial to hang out with or be friends of good people who would obey the law. 2)      Pregnancy and early parenthood. By experimentation, early sex, peer pressure, unguarded access to TV and internet, lack of knowledge about how the body works and purpose of the puberty and reproduction may lead the girls to early pregnancy and parenthood. Early pregnancy and parenthood could mean an end to ones career or it may delay career for a long time resulting in financial hardship and unhappiness as well as abuse of the new born.

Solution: The solution is to say “no” to pressure to have sex and to receive proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, religious establishments, good schools, and counsellors). This will also prevent rape incidents seen among the teens.

3)      Poor nutrition: Distorted media images of “thin is good” may feed into the psyche of the young persons or for other reasons; they may not eat on balanced diets nor eat enough. This failure could impair the future reproduction and economic productive activities. Good and balanced meals are necessary for healthy living.

Solution: The solution is to say “no” to media pull or pressure and to receive and follow proper instruction from well meaning persons (good parents, churches, good schools, counsellors etc).

4)      Wrong career: A wrong step here could mean a lot in future. The young person should choose what he or she wants to do under proper guidance of parents, schools and career advisers.

5)      General rebellion (with or without substance misuse, criminal damage to properties, harming others) is sure to land the youngster on the wrong side of the law. This could end the person’s future career. If he or she is sent to prison for offences committed, he or she or he/she could become worse in prison and miss the life’s purpose completely. There is no pleading of mistake in law.

Solution: The solution is to receive and obey proper instruction from well meaning persons.  Say “no” to pressure. Hang out with good friends that obey the law. Work hard. Stay away from trouble.

6)  Gender identity crisis. There are some who may be male genetically but appear as female when they were born.  This is due to failure of their hormones to cause them to develop properly. Such individuals are actually male. They may have been raised as a female and are thus seen as female even though they are male. Also, there are some who are female but when they were born may have appeared as male if the hormones had caused them to develop as male.  They may have been raised as a male even though they are female. How individuals such as these should be raised should be discussed within the family and doctors as soon as possible to avoid confusion later in life.

7) Sexual orientation: This writer holds the view that social and peer influence has a strong impact on sexual orientation. Other influences on sexual orientation are: how the person was raised {see (6)} above. Other reasons are attempts to be rebellious against the society and religious rules, attempt to be or a claim to be biologically or socially different.  Lack of social ability skills and confidence to approach opposite gender may lead the individual to align, out of convenience, with his own gender—sexually.  Enticed with money and some other rewards, the teens are very vulnerable to manipulation by the adults and abusers and this manipulation and abuse may be responsible for tangential sexual orientation. The solution is to receive wise and proper guidance (from good parents, good religious organizations, good schools, good mentors and good counsellors or friends).

Teenage years are vulnerable and perilous times.

Later, from 14-16 years upward, the voice may break and the “Adam Apple” becomes more prominent. At this stage, the boy is virtually ready hormonally (but not mentally nor physically until about 18-20), for one of the tasks before him: reproduction! If he is unguided, he is at great risk indeed, from sexual abuse and early fatherhood.

Perplexed as to what is happening to him, the teenager asks questions or refrain from asking questions but may attempt to experiment or succumb to peers pressure. If his questions are not honestly answered and in a friendly manner or he takes the advice of his peers or experiments, he may begin to follow the wrong path in life!

In all, dismayed as to the rapid change in him, the young man resents events around him, becomes angry and rebellious. He needs counselling at this stage.

Age of 14 – 18(Both Sexes). In general terms, no major changes occur here except that, the young woman and the now young man builds upon what they did until up to age of 14 years. Also, the body adjusts to these spectacular and rapid changes. In girls, the breast grows bigger, the menstruation regularises and the rapid growth slows down towards a permanent position. The ovaries become more active and ovulation synchronises with menstrual period.  Ovulation which is the release of egg from the ovaries in readiness for meeting the sperm from the male, is released 14 days or so from the start of the period. So, in 28 day cycle, the ovulation will take place about 14th day. This is the time that pregnancy is most likely to occur, though pregnancy occurrence can vary by 3-4 days before or after the ovulation. It is very rare that ovulation and menstrual period should occur at the same time though this is not impossible.

In the young man, growth is still continuing at a rapid phase until about age 18 years when it stabilises. Night emission of sperms may now be more frequent. Early morning penis erection becomes a common event. He becomes “sensitive” and attracted to female pictures and other sexual appearances.

In both sexes, there is increased awareness of the changes and transformation that has taken place in them, with the result that each now creates an identity to align their world views with mother/female or father/male and respective genders in larger society in line with their own identity. On the other hand, each of the boy or girl wants to be seen in association with the opposite gender of their age.

All these changes that have taken place from 10 /11 years to 18 years is called puberty.

Biological Implications of Puberty The main reason for the changes that occurs in puberty is simply for Productivity.  (a) These changes in boys and girls occur so that each individual can be ready for reproduction: that is be prepared to bear another person similar to the bearer (parent).  (b) The purpose of the changes is also to make each person, attractive and pleasant to the opposite gender so much that one would like to be in the presence of the opposite sex. The “icing on the cake” for this companionship is of course, sexual intercourse with sole aim of reproducing another person. This is biological productivity (c) Defence: The growth in all areas of the human body at puberty, the energy that came with the growth, the accompanying power of puberty, the increase in muscles (mainly in the male) and fat around the body (mainly in the female), the increase in mental capacity and capability are all meant to help in the defence against external attack. The aim of this defence is to

secure the individuals and the couple and any children that the new couple may now have.  Thus, the new man (father), the new adult female (mother) and the new offspring of the man and his wife is called a family.

Economic Implications of Puberty: Productivity. The individuals in ages of puberty and coming up to 20 years are immature yet they are very energetic. The growth in all areas, the energy, the accompanying power, the increase in muscles (mainly in the male) and fat around the body (mainly in the female), the increase in mental capacity and capability are meant to help them to be engage in economic productivity. The aim is to provide for the individuals and also for any children that the couple may have (family).  When one family joins with another and another and another, then a society is formed.

The Legal Implications of Puberty While different countries will have different laws, in general, a child is by World Health Organisation definition is someone who is under 18 years. So, ideally, those that are under 18 are under the protection of their parents or guardian. The implication is that a child may not cause harm and thus escape legal punishment. That used to be the law, at least in Britain. How things have changed. We now know that 10-year-olds can kill, how much more 17 and 18 years old! Therefore, in Britain, the age of legal criminal responsibility is 10 years! The society and the law expect 10-year-old not to commit crimes. If they do, they would be charged and could have criminal records or go to juvenile prison.

Also, by law children are not allowed to be employed. The exception to this is if the law permits such employment under certain conditions, otherwise, it would amount to child abuse.

We do know that child labour is a form of abuse.

Similarly, the law expects individuals to be responsible for their actions. No mistakes. If a child gets a girl pregnant, even the without intention to do so, he now becomes a father. The law does not respect or accept mistakes. If you miscalculated, you will be held responsible.

So, on the other hands, someone who is a child can not undertake certain responsibilities such as entering into a contract, standing as surety for another and so forth.  This is designed to protect the child whose mind is immature, from exploitation.  The law in general expects that every member of our society should behave to maintain peace and not cause harm to anyone.

The Psychological Implications of Puberty The growth spurt is a true rush of energy through the child, with result of an accelerated growth. This rapid growth is not matched by rapid growth in the mind and brain, knowledge and wisdom nor is it matched by volume of learning and experiences of life that is required to stay in the “straight and narrow lane.

• To be continued

These messages and information being passed to the new and growing person may be through human beings or through machines such as computer, books, newspapers and television. Similarly, any major event such as death or divorce between the parents within the family or arrival of a new birth may cause major influence on the growing child.

In all, this is the stage of great curiosity when the child could easily master any appropriate skill that may aid future conducts and productivity. At this stage, the child is defenceless, has no sense of risks or dangers. The child could not say “no” to illegal approaches, or discern what is morally good from what is bad. The vulnerability is huge. He believes all and trusts in practically everyone. Yet, his or her memory of these individuals and events around him or her cannot be so erased when he/she becomes adult.   Years 6-10:  A couple of events would prepare the child for her future role: good or bad. a)      The child is a great learner even if academically poor. He or she learns in other ways: thinking or asking questions about his body and environment. He wonders why things are in the way they are. He or she would like to change things or see things done in certain ways.  b)      The hormones that will later in life, affect the child’s future will gradually but in some unpredictable ways, increase in their activities including the hormones that dictate physical growth (growth hormone) and overall appearance either  transforming as a male or female. c)      The child’s sexual identity is by now almost irreversible. The private part (genitals) is now well defined. d)     The child has great enquiring mind, trying to understand his environments. He or she wonders aloud often asking embarrassing questions from the adults. He or she dreams what the adult found impossible or even found ridiculous which to the child, may not be a major issue. The child has very limited sense of danger and risks. He or she could undertake a potentially dangerous task. The ability to discern good from bad is clearly present in this age group. However, depending on what he has been taught, the child is vulnerable to abuse from peers and adults. He believes all and trusts in practically everyone. Therefore, the future behaviour

of the child could considerably be influenced at this point in life—forever even unto the next generation! Yet, his or her memory of events at this age preserved.

Age of 10 to 13 Years. “From here, we go our different ways” is perhaps the best way to describe the changes at this age range.  These are crucial years for the child, the parent or guardian, teachers and the society. This age range is the age in which visible differences occur between male and female: in which a girl will be a girl, later a woman and a boy will be boy, later a man. This is a vulnerable and perilous time. Some changes take place in the child (see below for more) and so many questions are asked by the growing teen: Those questions deserve credible answers to such an extent that, a wrong answer could affect the child’s world view permanently.  Presumably, the child, boy or girl is in school at this stage, tutored by the parents (or not influenced at all), the school teachers and the peers. This is the age group that the law and the larger society begins to expect some social and legal responsibility from the child. As we shall see later, this is the age when rebellion at home and rebellion against the law might begin to appear. Welcome to teenage years.

The Girl and the Young Woman The girl, at this age is hugely at advantage: hormonally speaking. The girl’s body (under effect of estrogens and progesterone, as well as moderate effect of testosterone hormones) begins to be increasingly active with dramatic effects. This is the time when due to the increased hormones (follicle stimulating hormone and luteinising hormone) from the brain (pituitary), estrogens, progesterone from the ovaries begin to affect the rest of her body. Also, due to the hormones and in particular, testosterone, the skin may be greasy due to increased oil production under the skin, pimples may appear on the face and in some girls, and pimples may be troublesome.

Thus: (a) The breasts begin to be enlarged steadily and even dramatically. (b)  Hairs appear in the armpits and gradually in the private area (pubic hair) and other areas of the skin. (c) Growth/height is accelerated faster than similar age group in boys (d)  Size/girth/waist increases  (e) Finally at about 13years (or sooner in some girls),  of age in most girls, though may be delayed in others, menstruation sets in, first irregularly which may later settle down in most girls to regular periods at about 17-18 years of age. This is what is called “period” or “monthly” events.

The yesteryears baby may now have the appearance of a young pretty woman though she is very immature in every other way. She becomes conscious of herself and boys or even men may begin, to her surprise, to show interest in her!  (f)   At this stage of 13, the girl is virtually ready hormonally (but not mentally nor physically until about 18-20 years), for one of the tasks before her: reproduction! If she is unguided, she is at great risk indeed from sexual abuse and early pregnancy.

The Boy and the Young Man In general, the boys lag behind the girls in the growth spurt race even though, on balance, most boys will catch up and exceed the girls later— in height. This occurs, because of the slight delay in production of hormone, testosterone, in boys. Unlike in girls, the major active hormone in boys is testosterone which is produced by the testes. With this exception, the growth in boys takes the same pattern as girls in that: (a) Testosterone begin to be increased in active amount from age of nine-years and reach high levels at about 14-16 when the growth of the boy is accelerated. (b) From 11-14, there is increased in amount and length of hairs in the face, armpit, and private part (genitals), and other areas of the boy.  (c)  The testes and penis is enlarged and there is on-going preparation for reproduction. d)     At about 14-16, the boy may have the first involuntary production of semen, often at night, to his amazement! This involuntary emission of semen or sperm is called “wet-dream.” The emission and experience is perfectly normal.  There is also a rapid increase in height and girth. The young man will need counselling to be well informed about what is happening to his body at this stage. His sperm may be fertile enough to get a girl pregnant! Unguided, he may become a father too soon.

• To be continued

Teen children and their erratic behaviour are every parent’s nightmare. Perhaps, one of the most perplexing and in fact, challenging areas of family and society’s life, in modern time, is how to deal with children in an age with growing gap between discipline of children on one hand and the right of parents and children on the other.  Increasing liberal laws in some countries and independent minded children makes dealing with children very delicate. On the other hands, the challenges of biological changes in adolescent make rebellion very likely.

Similarly, it’s the desire of parents to raise responsible children. This article will help the youth and their parents or guardians to achieve the above desires. This article will cover two areas: the biological changes in children up to the age of 20, for both boys and girls. It would also cover restrictive demands of the law as well as the society’s expectation that these young minds should behave in certain way. The idea is to guide the parents and children to live a healthy lifestyle free from criminal behaviour.

Before Birth: The idea that growing up starts from before birth might appear laughable to some readers. Yet this is the starting point for a future healthy living. Starting here will also aid the understanding of issue relating to growing up.

What a person is, the way he/she will behave in future, the gender, the height, and the other physical appearances are all determined even before conception, as some readers might appreciate. The genes in each parent will combine to form the new individual. Therefore, the mental and physical character of this new person (baby) is in part made at the time of this combination of parental genes. If each or any of the genes is out of order or carries a particular disease, it may be passed to the new person. In the same way, if the genes carry excellent personality, it will also show up in the new individual.

From Conception to Birth: At formation, the choice of the baby’s sexual category (that is the gender of the baby) is determined by the parents but importantly by the man as well as the environment, and timing (day and month and of the year) of the pregnancy.  At conception, the new baby that is growing is being prepared to achieve one thing later in life: to be productive biologically (reproduction) and to be productive economically. Now that the character of the new individual has, partially, been made up by both parents, the future personality of the new person that is being formed will be influenced by the environment in the womb.

For example, taking alcohol, cigarette (nicotine), heroin, cocaine or exposure to radiations, absence of good food and vitamins, exposure to infections such as rubella, HIV, hepatitis, syphilis and so forth may all combined or  act alone  to affect the behaviour, appearance (and future productivity) of the new person. Stiffening the growing person of oxygen by say anaemia in the mother, may affect the future well-being of the new individual. It should be remembered that the sex (gender) of the new person will from the time of conception affect his/her future character.

Right from before birth, the hormones, that influences children at puberty (growing-up changes) begins to be active at very low level. If for example, the baby is a boy, the male hormones will direct that the baby should appear as a boy as we know it when he is born. If the parents had passed a female character to the new baby, then she will by default failed to develop as a boy but  rather develop as a girl.

Unpleasant as this may seems to some, a girl develops for failure of boy to grow as a boy, even if the parents had passed to the baby the instruction to develop as boy. If he failed to show up as a boy, then he will appear as a girl. This will have a lot of future legal and social as well as productive (biological) implications for the future, as we shall see later.

Birth: The destiny, so to speak, of the new person would depend to a great extent, on the circumstances of his or her birth. A stressful birth such as if the baby is too big for the birth canal or if he was distressed by instruments used by the delivery team, a prolonged birth, a pregnancy that went on for too long or just about anything that may stiffen the child of oxygen could equally damage the brain.

In future, this brain damage may lead to bad behaviour (criminal behaviour), and low productivity (reproduction and economic productivity). The bad behaviour and appearance could be made worse if the new person, as stated above had inherited from both or either parents, bad characters. It could similarly be made worse, if the child had been exposed to any of those agents, as stated above, that he/she came across while in the womb. All these could affect the person’s lifestyle and shorten his/her life.

Day 1 to 5 years: Contrary to some opinions, this age is not the formative years of any child. As I have explained above, the formative years started years back and is going through further stages. Now that the structure, appearance and gender of the new person is known, it should be remembered that the hormones and chemicals that will continue to shape the life of this individual will continue to act though at a low level. Except through adornment, naming, or social identification as a girl or boys, neither of the gender can easily be classified as a boy or girl from appearance. That is to say, if the private (genitals) areas are covered and there is no clothing and adornment appearance, it would be difficult to say if a person is a  boy or girl.

Nonetheless, the formative years continue.  Nurture: The continued appearance and behaviour of the new baby to the world will now be under the influences that he/she receives from parents, guardian, friends, peers, and the society.

These influences will include food taken and how nutritious it is and how appropriate for the age. Other influences include the graphics and images that he/she sees, the type of words, morality, home and society norms and messages or education he hears, the kind of touch he feels, (whether brute, gentle, lovely or not), the nature of activities he/she is exposed to will radically influence how the baby and the future adult behaves.

• To be continued