Tag: Dino

  • Dino: Ajekun Iya!

    Dino: Ajekun Iya!

    At the zenith of his dashing rascality, even as a senator of the Federal Republic, Dino Melaye “waxed” a monster hit of a video-skit — Ajekun Iya!

    Touting rich Yoruba lore, earnest or witty, he told the tale of the weakling (read: Dino’s foes) that brawl with the mighty (all-mighty Dino) and swore, with swashbuckling conceit: such folly would fetch a hideous hiding — Ajekun Iya!

    Poor Dino! He was predicting his very own gubernatorial thrashing of November 11 — Ajekun Iya!

    It’s just surreal how art often imitates life — and Dino is living proof of such macabre art.  It was so ugly in his eyes he chickened out of voting for himself!  That must be a record in Nigerian gubernatorial election history — Ajekun Iya!

    No tears from here for Dino’s political doom at noon.  

    Everyone loves a nuisance, the Yoruba often scoff, but whoever claims such as golden children?  That’s the long and short of Dino Melaye’s street autobiography of endless stunts.  The Kogi collapse was a well-earned meltdown.  

    It was indeed self-doom foretold.  November 11 was harsh pay day.  But Dino was too garrulous, too soaked in his low show-boating, to hear the rumbling thunder of defeat.  

    But the Kogi electorate, not the least Dino’s own Okun Yoruba folks, were sure taking own notes.  Good riddance!

    Still, Dino’s politics-as-giddy-delinquency only mirrors the sad tumble of politics-as-high-ideals, despite the din from the opposition camp. 

    Take the duo of Atiku Abubakar and Peter Obi, twin-losers that framed selves as twin-winners, over a sole presidential prize they knew they lost fair and square!

    Dino is following the example of both to lament his well-earned loss.  

    His ready punching bag — just as Obi’s and Atiku’s — is the calm Mahmoud Yakubu and his well-clobbered Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), the automatic Judas for politicians’ election-day waywardness. How rich!

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    Obi never told a single lie all his political life.  But he never lived a single truth too!  At best, his ballyhooed political saintliness is rotten core forged in glittering gold!

    Or, how else would you frame his gubernatorial era “savings” which, by the Pandora Papers’ expo, was no more than brazen private capture of public money: pouring Anambra funds into family business, yet swearing it was the zenith of pious frugality!

    Thrift is being frugal with money.  Obi’s Anambra case was being frugal with the truth!  It’s the classic of public rot preening as public good.

    Nine years later in 2023, Obi headlined his presidential run with weaning Nigeria from “consumption to production” — the same bloke that, by his NEXT retail outlet, has made a fortune from unbridled imports!

    So long for Obi and his loud but gullible crowd! 

    Atiku, former Vice President of the Federal Republic, ought to know better; and ought to boast deeper introspection, if not outright wisdom.

    But alas!  The Wazirin Adamawa is often flighty and restless, with scant any grand ideological anchor, beyond the political equivalent of business profit and loss.  

    In his eternal quest for power, he flits towards any charmed platform: progressive, conservative, or even reactionary — like some swoony butterfly craving nectar.  

    That explains his peripatetic sojourns; and bitter retreats to hitherto scorned bases, to gobble hitherto hated vomits: PDP to Action Congress (AC); AC back to PDP — even before AC was defunct — PDP to APC, and APC back to PDP, when the elusive party ticket was far from sure!

    After his umpteenth loss at the February polls, the former Vice President traduced the apex court; abused the INEC chair and swore the 2023 election was the “worst”!  

    That was plain hysteria blabbing! That was deep-felt bitterness wailing!  Dino, his protégée, just joined the wailing and screeching party!

    But Atiku knows tarring February 25 is pure gas.  The Abel Guobadia-conducted 2003 elections, which handed Vice President Atiku and President Olusegun Obasanjo a second term, was far worse than 2023.

    The 2007 poll, for which President Obasanjo appointed Maurice Iwu as INEC chair, is the worst ever — for it orchestrated Obasanjo’s “do-or-die” electoral heist.

    Atiku was beneficiary of 2003 but victim of 2007.  So, he should know!

    Iwu’s INEC, Obasanjo’s special purpose vehicle for 2007’s blatant vote steal, could have rushed Atiku off the ballot, but for the courts.  

    Even at that, Prof. Iwu wasn’t sorry for his INEC’s outrage, unlike the mild-mannered Prof. Yakubu, who the delinquent losers of 2023 bash for their electoral seppuku, with Dino being the latest in that ignoble line.  

    Yet, from the Attahiru Jega-era card reader, to present-day BVAS and IReV, all INEC has done is try to strengthen the credibility of the vote.  But must INEC be pilloried for politicians’ roaring bad faith — bad faith that is a ruinous constant that never changes?

    Indeed, Election 2007 is the worst ever!  But don’t take Ripples’ word for it.  Take the evidence in the public space.

    Aside from the late President Umaru Yar’Adua who decried the disgraceful vote that earned him power — and put in place urgent reforms — the courts reclaimed no less than four stolen governorships from that brazen robbery: Edo, Ondo, Ekiti and Osun.

    Edo’s Adams Oshiomhole and Osun’s Rauf Aregbesola would go on to erect model development governance, refreshingly alien to the PDP era of cooked votes and paralyzed governments — at least in Edo and Osun.

    Unfortunately, the stellar heights of both, Oshiomhole and Aregbesola, were undone by the politics of sterile succession — ironically by successors who either didn’t share their predecessors’ high ideals or just couldn’t vault selves to those levels.

    Ondo’s Segun Mimiko — the first to gain power with Labour Party after hire — boasted dizzying heights in political mobilization.  Ekiti’s Kayode Fayemi posted a redemptive two terms, though the split terms sandwiched Ayo Fayose’s second coming, with its populist sweet poison of “stomach infrastructure” — which was a drag.

    But all the four were a loud rebuke of the first eight years of PDP rule; and set the tone for the party’s democratic ouster eight years later — and today’s shadow of itself.

    Which is why former President Goodluck Jonathan missed the point, big time, by decrying off-season elections.  

    A more introspective Jonathan should have hailed these elections.  They are reminders of how the judiciary saved this democracy from the bold-and-merry rigging of the PDP era.  But the former president earned a pardon: he lost the presidency with rare grace.

    Not Atiku — or Obi for that matter — howling “rigging” when both knew their cross-ambitions crashed PDP in February, as Dino’s own rascality smashed his Kogi dreams in November.

    Ironically, Dino serenaded Atiku during his doomed presidential run as much as Atiku serenaded Dino during his Kogi collapse.

    Both should snap out of their well-earned bad dreams!  Ajekun Iya!

  • Okon cooks for Dino

    Okon cooks for Dino

    As they say, man pikin be man pikin. You cannot summon the tiger to devour a badly behaved chap. No one can be completely useless, at least they can always serve as an ignoble example of ignominy. Readers will be surprised that this weathered lothario was not completely averse to Dino Melaye until he crossed certain borders of gender civility and sensitivity in the senate which showed him up as an uncouth, ill-bred lout.

    But even then, yours sincerely retains a sneaking fascination for the rogue politico from the Yoruba plains of Kogi State. On a good day, and given his tendency for histrionics and ham-acting, the totally self-absorbed but self-mismanaging politician is a good copy for social media scavengers and other hyenas of the underground press. But man must whack even after a historic drubbing.

     A day after the resounding shellacking his gubernatorial bid received in the hands of the Kogi Kaiser, Yahaya Bello, and his Amalgamated Army of Ebira Revanchists, Dino was seen in public shedding tons of tears and verbiage as usual. After collecting their pay cheques, the crowd had thinned even further.

    The poor boy seems to have a great future firmly behind him. A notable Kogi philosopher who claims to be a distant uncle of Dino from their Aiyetoro Gbede enclave once rued with usual cerebral acumen that if Dino does not harm politics, politics will harm him. That day of reckoning seems to be upon us.

      Last Wednesday, Okon, the ultimate undertaker, was sighted carrying two full cans with exaggerated caution. Having earlier declared an industrial dispute over pay matters and other emoluments, yours sincerely thought that it might well be that the mad boy had come to put finishing touches and torches to the entire household. He was followed by a drunken Baba Lekki who was chanting war songs and ancient ditties from Odolaiye Aremu brimming with sly innuendoes and subversive animosities.

    “Okon what is that you are carrying?” yours sincerely demanded rather fearfully.

       “ Ha oga, na tears from dem yeye Dino boy. Him cry sotey he come fill four cans”, the mad boy retorted with sadistic relish. “I tell you dem crazy boy sabi cry well well and him com dey sound like dem trailer wey him engine come knock as he dey climb Miliki Hill for Enugu”.

     “So what do you want to do with Dino’s tears?” one asked the mad boy mightily relieved.

      “ Ha oga, I wan use am cook amala for dem poor boy”, the mad boy retorted.

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    “ Okon dat one no be amala again oo, na dat one dem dey call amulumala”, Baba Lekki snorted as he burst into a deranged fit of convulsive laughter which reminded one of asthmatic baboons in the jungle.

     “Baba wetin be amulumulu again? You don come with your Yoruba jibiti again?” Okon crowed.

    “Ha!! Omo were!! Na dat one dem dey call omipojoka or water pass yam flour. Wetin kukuruku small boy like you sabi?” Baba Lekki crowed as he began singing and dancing to a classic tune from the unforgettable Odolaiye Aremu.

      Ti won bape e wa gberu awon

      B’eru o bati danu

    Afi b’eleru o safira

    Tio safira ooo

    Afi b’eleru o safira.

    The ancient crook was quite a sight to behold as he cantered forward and capered sideway like a possessed votary of some ancient deity. The mad boy cut short his celebration.

     “Baba as dem thing dey sweet you pass anything, make you no forget say dem use one stone finish two birds for Kogi. As dem finish Dino, dem don finish him people oo. He sweet me say Yoruba people no fit see power for dem place again lai lai”, the crazy boy sneered.

      “Kai, kai Okon na dem IBB and dem Daura man cause dat one. Thunder fire all of them”, the old man screamed and vanished into the shadow leaving Okon to carry his cans of tears.

  • Dino.  All din, no vote!

    Dino.  All din, no vote!

    Foremost comic, Dino Melaye, just pulled off a most bathetic stunt — not voting in his own election as Kogi governor, but turning round to howl: cancel the vote!

    Now, is that a comedy?  A tragedy?  A tad in-between?  

    Or just a John Donne-like “conceit” — read unfazed intellectual poetry that questions about every seemingly settled matter — which, however with Dino, exposes a real tragic conceit: a political loud-mouth, all din, but absolutely no vote?

    After staying off voting for himself, Dino growled there was no vote in Kogi.  Of course, there wasn’t any!  Did Dino himself vote?  If he didn’t, how could there have been a vote?  Isn’t Dino the entire universe, within which things moved or stopped?

    Again, reference John Donne in his poem, “The Sun Rising”.  Angered at the sun’s intrusive morning rays, the poem’s protagonist scowled at the “busy old fool, unruly sun”, and threatened to shut out the all-fiery difference day and night with a “mere wink”! Poetic conceit! 

    So, if Dino didn’t vote, no one else did!  Political conceit?  Or just plain delusion?

    Still, back to real life and real people.  The ever volatile Nyesom Wike, former Rivers governor and now FCT minister, asked very early in the day: what serious party would pick a Dino Melaye, aka Tarzan of our time, aka “Ajekun Iya” crooner, aka GOC, Bukola Saraki storm troopers, of the eighth Senate?

    The thunderous answer came on November 11: none!  

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    The Dino shellacking reverberated all over Kogi, as Dino’s juvenile pranks and stunts stung — and riled — decent souls all over Nigeria.  It was Judgment Day and it was such a resounding thunder clap of disgraceful defeat!  No tears from Hardball!  How did this errant man-child ever grace Nigeria’s highest legislative chamber?

    That again echoes the eighth Senate — and maybe the potency of spirituality (read Karma) in politics.  Indeed, the Dino electoral “slaughter” marked his final(?) ruin, as one of the major players in that Senate, that troubled Nigeria’s proverbial house of Israel.

    In 2019, Saraki became an internally displaced person (IDP) from the Kwara empire his father, Baba Oloye, built.  That year also, Dino got tossed out of the Senate.  Much later, Ike Ekweremadu, who bought stolen goods as deputy senate president, no thanks to Saraki and co’s perfidy, got canned in a British jail, under tragic family circumstances, trying to play a doting dad, saving darling daughter.

    Both Abubakar Atiku and new Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan went campaigning for Dino.  But how can a bad product — especially former VP Atiku, who became unhinged after his 2023 presidential election loss, throwing tantrums at everyone — sell another bad product?  How?

    Dino, with eternal rascality, had over the years de-marketed himself.  The Kogi misadventure would appear his end-of-the-road.  Any resurrection?  Highly unlikely.

    The epigram on his political grave?  Here lies Dino Melaye, he who was all din, no vote!

  • Poor Dino!

    Poor Dino!

    Sir: Despite all his loud and boastful rantings, puerile noise-making, clownish behaviour, crude bum-fuckery, infantile court-jesting, nauseating gorilla-dancing, gratuitous insults, foul-mouthed bluster, tough guy “gra gra” and area boy antics and in spite of his membership of the ‘Bugger Me Stiff United Football Club’, he received the flogging and trouncing of his pitiful life in the Kogi State governorship election.

    Out of the 751,000 votes that were cast he could not even muster up to 47,000. That is approximately five percent!

    Worst still he came in a very distant third in the race and some have even said fourth! How sad! 

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    This is a man that was once elected as a House of Representatives member and a Senator!

    This is a man that mocked PBAT for his age, called him a drug dealer, accused him of being a drug addict, threatened to violate the honour of the First Lady, rolled all over the floor during the presidential campaign rallies in the name of depicting our president as an invalid and geriatric and threatened us with hell, fire and brimstone if Asiwaju won. 

    Well today he is where he is and politically it’s all over for him. How are the mighty fallen! 

    It appears that the White Lion of Kogi made good his promise and has retired him from politics permanently.

    My heart goes out to him.

    •Femi Fani-Kayode,

    Abuja

  • Kogi group backs Dino, canvasses collaboration against APC

    Kogi group backs Dino, canvasses collaboration against APC

    A group, Kogi Equity Roundtable (KER), has endorsed the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) candidate, Senator Dino Melaye, saying he stands taller than other candidates jostling for governor  in the November 11 election.

    It explained that its support for Melaye was based on equity, popularity, experience and exposure of candidates, as well as the strength of political parties involved.

    KER, which has spear-headed the call for power rotation in Kogi State since 2014, made the declaration in Idah, Kogi State, yesterday morning in a statement .

    The group’s Secretary General , Dr. Peter Okoh, who represented its Director General  said wide consultation have been made across the three senatorial districts of Kogi State, before arriving at its decision.

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    According to the statement, the decision has nothing to do with ethnic bias.

    “Our mission is not unconnected with the necessity for equity and fair play, which we believe would be the best approach to mitigating political acrimony, in a bid to ensuring, sustainable peace and harmonious coexistence,” Okoh said.

    The group pointed out that it was the collective struggle for power shift that gave Governor Yahaya Bello the huge vote that made him come second, after  the late Abubakar Audu, a criteria which was eventually used by his party and the court, to step down Hon. James Faleke, to make Bello governor at the demise of Audu.

    “It is however unfortunately that Governor Bello is making frantic efforts at burning the bridge that brought him to the shore with the plan to install his nephew as successor,” the group posited.

     “As the Secretary General, I am an Igala, my director General, is an Okun man while our Head of Publicity as well as Finance Controller are both from Kogi Central.

    Okoh added that: “Our mission is not unconnected with the necessity for Equity and fair play, which we believe would be the best approach to mitigating political acrimony, in a bid to ensuring, sustainable peace and harmonious coexistence of the state.

  • Okon condoles with Dino as he returns Sikira’s undies to police

    Meanwhile even as this political desalinization is going on, there were unconfirmed reports that hooded human beings in police uniforms stormed Dino Melaiye’s resting or arresting place to whisk the beleaguered senator and harried ham actor to an unknown pile. They certainly meant business, these hulking state enforcers, and were certainly not there to accord the rogue lawmaker the traditional “ okun” salutation of his sub-ethnic people.

    A day after this historic evacuation, Okon showed up with the inevitable Baba Lekki in tow wearing the uniform of an ancient herbalist and mumbling some primitive mumbo jumbo to the bargain. Okon was carrying an ancient pail stuffed with native soap and some herbal concoctions.

    “Oga, I wan quickly reach dem police cell for Abuja make man give dem Dino boy small chop and local insurance against dem mad mosquitoes and dem wild rats. Dem they laugh as dem they bite man. Na real olosi people dem police rats be. Dem sabi everybody him name. He get one of dem like dat who come they shout man him name as he dey bite Okon blokos,” the mad boy chanted breathlessly.

    “And what is the pail for?” snooper demanded.

    “Ha oga, na for dem Dino him shit. You no say for police cell everybody dey shit for floor. He get time like dat for police dem cell and dem Action Group thug dem dey call Yanga he come beat man sotey Okon dey shit for floor and shit dey everywhere. Yanga go beat Dino well well and him no go sabi him mama again”, Okon raved.

    “You see”, Baba Lekki began with an expansive drawl. “When the yeye boy dey sing Ajekun iya, I think say him get original juju. But as dem police come capture am like dem Oshodi ram like dat, the boy no get nothing. Na Sakara oloje as dem Fela dey say. But sa, man pikin be man pikin. We no go allow dem mala make him come finis dem boy like dat”.

    “So baba wetin you and dem OPC fit do?” Okon shouted.

    “I wan go give dem boy egbe and gbetugbetu from him Egbe people. Mad pikin get him own use”, the mad old man scoffed.

    “Ha baba, as for dat, you go go your own and Okon dey go him own. I no wan enter dem mala trouble. Dem Daura man dey dangerous mood. Even baba don keep quiet and him dey survey dem Imeko border not to talk of ogogoro man like you”, Okon sneered.

    “Okon, what is in the bag?” snooper demanded.

    “Ha oga, na Sikira him pants I wan return to dem police. Last time dem nab man dem say I be ritual killer becos I dey carry dem woman wig. You see each time I wire Sikira like dat him dey forget him pant. Sometimes sef when him head don dabaru him dey wear my trousers carry go”, Okon sniggered.

    “Na dat one dem Fela man dey call pata gbigbona or hot pants”, Baba Lekki crooned with savage delight. On that note snooper drove the crazy duo out of the house.

  • Why we invaded Melaye’s residence, by Police

    Policemen invaded the residence of Senator Dino Melaye in high-brow Maitama area of Abuja on Friday afternoon because of his involvement in a criminal case, police spokesman Jimoh Moshood has said.

    “Senator Dino Melaye is wanted by the police for attempted culpable homicide, the shooting and wounding of a policeman on duty, by Senator Dino Melaye and his thugs in Kogi state.

    “Senator Dino is a wanted man and the police are only in the process of arresting him,” he began.

    He further told our correspondent: “Three months ago, a letter had been written to the Clerk of the national Assembly to inform Senator Dino Melaye of the need to report to the police in Kogi state and he (Senator Melaye) has refused to do so.

    However, in his Twitter response to what he described as police invasion, Melaye alleged scores of policemen who arrived his residence located at 11 Sangha Street, off Mississippi Road in Maitama shortly after noon on Friday came with very criminal intentions.

    “All entrances to my residence in Mississippi have been secured by the police that claim there is no order to arrest me, one truck by Centagon school too; mass media and Nigerians, take note, we have pictures of those involved.

    “Two trucks with people wearing black in front on Centagon school on Mississippi Maitama.

    “Toyota Siena at the entrance of Sangha Street, gold colour Honda accord roaming the street.

    “A man in jallabia had gone forth and back my street more than ten times; two Hilux truck have now blocked my gate with men in mufti numbering 20.

    “(My) cameras are recording. They are trying to plant guns in the cars outside. We are watching.

    “They forcefully entered my compound.”

    In a subsequent release by Moshood on Friday evening, he declared police determination to remain in Senator Melaye’s residence until he surrenders.

    “The Police operatives currently in the residence of Senator Dino Melaye are to effect his arrest to answer to the case of attempted culpable homicide on the shooting of a Police Officer,  Sgt Danjuma Saliu, attached to 37 Police Mobile Force (PMF) while on duty at a stop and search point along Aiyetoro Gbede, Mopa Road in Kogi State.

    “The Police Officer is yet to recover from the gunshot injury he sustained during the attack and still under intensive medical care.

    “The Police operatives will continue to be in wait at the residence of Senator Dino Melaye until he surrenders himself for arrest. The offence for which Senator Dino Melaye is being investigated is capital in nature and not compoundable.

    “The Force will not tolerate an attack on his personnel by any individual no matter how highly placed. The law must take its course.”

  • Dino: A lawmaker’s travails

    Poor Dino Melaye.

    Given the unremitting bad press he gets each passing day, you would think that “Delinquent Senator” better describes the Senator for Kogi West than “Distinguished Senator.”

    It is almost as if he cannot do anything that is not delinquent, no matter how hard he tries.

    They said he did not earn the degree he claims from Ahmadu Bello University.  He proves the contrary.  To leave no one in doubt, he decks himself in doctoral regalia to attend a session of the National Assembly, only to be denounced afresh as an impersonator on the insidious ground that he holds only a bachelor’s degree of the third rank.

    When did a degree cease to be a degree, pray?

    He writes a best-selling tome on the nation’s most pressing problem “Anti-corruption,” and instead of applauding his scholarship, some career calumnists dismiss it as a desultory pastiche riddled with grammatical errors, starting from the title page.  It matters not in the least to them that the entire membership of the National Assembly individually and collectively witnessed the historic launch of the volume and supported it with googols of Naira.

    I wonder what the calumnists aforementioned will do when the senator emerges (I use that word advisedly) as a frontline member of the Association of Nigerian Authors or as an Honorary Fellow of the Nigerian Academy of Letters, if not the short list for a Grammy – remember he is also a best-selling recording artist – or the National Order of Merit.

    Rest easy, contenders for the prizes endowed by the oil companies and the finance houses for fiction, non-fiction, poetry and drama.  The Senate’s literary crackerjack is not coming after you.  He doesn’t need the piddling cash prize, which amounts to a little more than a month’s takings from his day job of making laws for the good governance of Nigeria.

    Still on the book: They say they can’t find it in any reputable bookstore.  Why don’t they check out the disreputable bookstores, then?

    Dino invokes the Senate’s oversights power to compel an obdurate chief of Customs to appear in uniform to testify on some important national security issues, and they say he over-reached.  If he, a distinguished senator – let them lump that if they don’t like it — if he can voluntarily appear before the most distinguished Upper Chamber in his academic robes, why should an ordinary chief of Customs countermand orders to wear his official uniform on a summons from the Senate, not once but three times?

    Where, pray, is the over-reaching?

    Through frugal spending and judicious husbandry of his emoluments from the legislature, he acquires a fleet of some of the finest automobiles ever built.  The collection includes a Lamborghini, Alfa Romeo and a Bentley for sure, and may also boast a Rolls Royce, a Maybach, and some motorcars said to have been specially manufactured to meet his exacting standards.

    Elsewhere, they would be celebrating his nice sense of discrimination.  Here they dismiss him as a playboy and a showboat inebriated with hot new money and all the crassness and vulgarity associated with it.

    A senator can’t spend his own money as he pleases?  What is the country coming to?

    Unarmed, the senator single-handedly faced down in his hometown a squad of assassins that couldn’t even shoot straight. That, I would argue, is the stuff of heroism.  In a land so bereft of heroes, the event should have been memorialised with a public holiday.

    Not in a land smothered by Dinophobia.

    At his first coming as a member of the House of Representatives, the future senator displayed such versatility and prowess in the martial arts on the floor that it was widely believed that if he was minded to set up a Kick-boxing Academy in Abuja for the benefit of his fellow lawmakers and others who may need such skills, it would be a roaring success. He was the complete package.

    When his constituency would not return him to the House and he was literally down and out, he carried out feasibility studies on the project.  He concluded that a Senate seat would serve him much better.

    The rest is history.

    Now his prowess is reserved exclusively for the protection of his patron the irremovable president of the Senate, in the capacity of personal bodyguard.

    Nobody is applauding his loyalty and sense of sacrifice.  Undiscerning as always, the usual detractors see in the Kogi Senator’s relationship to his principal only grovelling subservience.  Some of them, I bet, can’t recognise nobility of character even if it were to kick them in groin.

    It was prowess in the martial arts that the Senator deployed in executing a Houdini-style escape from the police when they were taking him in an armoured vehicle to Kogi to face spurious criminal charges. To cover their embarrassment, the police charged him with “attempted suicide.”

    First of all, whose body is it?  Second, why would he attempt to kill himself when he has so much to live for – those mansions in Abuja and elsewhere, those luxury cars, money in the better banks and in the hardest currencies, with much more to come?

    Dinophobia is a terrible affliction, believe me.  As if that is not bad enough, recent events have, if anything, further compounded and raised it to a national malady.

    The other day, as the good senator was heading to Kogi to commission blocks of classrooms, the latest addition to his impressive portfolio of constituency projects, some hoodlums with murder on their minds emerged from the bush somewhere on the Abuja-Lokoja stretch, intercepted his car, and immobilised it.

    They struck it viciously and relentlessly with their cudgels but could not make a dent on its armoured frame.  Nor could they shatter the glass windows.  They tried to flip the vehicle on its side.  No luck.  They tried to flip it on its back; same result.   The senator just looked on, bemused.

    The hoodlums then scampered away in search of disused tyres or some highly combustible material  with which to set the senator’s car on fire. The senator knows their type all too well; no need to take further chances.

    So he bolted out of the car into the bush and ran as fast and as far as his sturdy legs could carry him, his assailants in hot pursuit.  By then, it was dusk, and visibility was diminishing.  In the distance, he could just make out the hazy outlines of a huge, solitary tree. He raced to it, wrapped his arms and feet around its trunk and with practised movements lifted himself three feet at a time until he reached safety some 120 feet above ground.

    With danger lurking everywhere – from his nonplussed assailants, hunters who might mistake the bulky object high up the tree for some exotic game and shoot at it, denizens of the bush bristling at the invasion of their habitat, and from cattle herders who might perceive whatever was up there as a threat to their priceless herd, he decided that the tree was the safest refuge.

    And there he stayed until daybreak, fighting off insects and sleep and hunger and thirst and creatures of his own imagining.

    By any standard, this was a feat of extraordinary daring, valour, and resourcefulness.  But they are not cheering.  Instead they are calling it a stunt, a tawdry tale designed to shore up the image of a senator who has become a byword for delinquency.

    In his ordeal, they won’t even accord him the empathy we owe one another.

    Dinophobia, I tell you one more time, is a terrible affliction.

  • Dino the drama king

    SIR: When news broke last week that maverick senator, Dino Melaye jumped out of a moving police vehicle after his arrest by operatives of SARS, I was unperturbed and unfazed. Dino is the king of drama in Nigerian politics. It is not unusual to find a streak of absurdity in most Nigerian politicians. But Dino is different. He is the master when it comes to playing in the theatre of the absurd. Blessed by the creator with infinite capacity for drama, unusual eccentricities and proclivities, he is also endowed with the gift of gab and courage which some of his detractors have derisively referred to as Dutch courage.

    His recent arrest by the police is based on a slew of criminal allegations against him including armed robbery, and illegal possession of firearms. These offences were allegedly committed in his native Kogi, where the police were repatriating him to for prosecution before he transmuted into an actor, alleging that the police in connivance with the state governor were planning to assassinate him once he sets his foot on home soil. Ironically, Dino and Governor Yahaya Bello were once pals. He once declared at an event during the early days of the Yahaya Bello administration that the people of Kogi chose late Prince Abubakar Audu but God chose Yahaya Bello to be governor. His arrest also coincides with the beginning of the recall process from the National Assembly by his constituents. Dino has alleged on several occasions that the recall process was orchestrated by Governor Bello and sponsored with the princely sum of N1billion naira.

    Pundits have speculated that his arrest is a ploy by the powers that be to distract him so as that he does not interfere in the recall process. That may be true. But what I find difficult to understand is why he employed all manner of tricks in the book to evade arrest by the police? Even if the charges against him are trumped up, he is not the first Nigerian politician to suffer such fate, just as he is expected to have known the risks of his profession before entering into it. His idol, Bukola Saraki, also went through a similar ordeal recently and he embraced it stoically like a gentleman. People like Dino, famed for his flamboyant lifestyle and love of the good life are usually afraid of losing their freedom because they will be denied access to the pleasures that they enjoy.

    As a student of the University of Port Harcourt, I was among those who hosted then Honourable Dino Melaye at an event on campus in 2010, after he was suspended for fighting by his colleagues in the House of Representatives. We were under the impression that he was fighting for the masses of the Nigerian people. His actions and antics in the Eighth Senate have proven that we were deluded in believing that he was a genuine radical fighting for the welfare of our people.

    As a senator, he is a prominent member of the cabal responsible for the anti-executive and anti-masses posture of the Senate. He has also courted not a few controversies. If he is not singing songs to spite his enemies, dreaming dreams, or mouthing obscene epithets against a female senator, then he is displaying pictures of his luxury cars on social media, hosting costume parties, or enmeshed in a certificate scandal. Dino is a stormy petrel that eats, breathes, and lives controversies. Though currently in the National Hospital recuperating from injuries sustained from his James Bond moves, the last may not have been heard from Dino. Nigerians should expect more drama from the drama king in the days ahead.

     

    • Peter Ovie Akus,

    Ifo, Ogun State.

  • Dino: The actor up s his game

    Senator Dino Melaye is not new to controversy. As a member of the House of Representatives, he was embroiled in issues that pitched him against the leadership of the lower House.

    He was suspended over the allegation that former speaker Rt. Honourable Dimeji Bankole mismanaged N9 billion between 2008 and 2009. The suspension was nullified by the court before he returned to the House.

    Fast forward to the present and you have Melaye once again, in the eye of the storm. His recent ordeal thus indicates that he is walking a familiar path.

    In the wake of his current face-off with law enforcement agents and the governor of his state, Yahaya Bello, pundits are divided along conflicting lines of thought.

    While some believe that Melaye’s current travails signal the end of his political career, others argue that the Kogi lawmaker would once again, overcome his challenges.

    Things took a bad turn for the lawmaker when the police paraded two alleged members of an armed gang terrorising Kogi State, Kabiru Saidu and Nuru Salisu.

    The police said the suspects had confessed to being provided with weapons and financial support by Melaye, who represents Kogi West Senatorial District.

    The development aggravated the political crisis that has seen Melaye and Kogi governor, Bello, enmeshed in bitter confrontations over the state’s political structure.

    A statement by police spokesperson, Jimoh Moshood, said detectives arrested the suspects with a cache of arms that included AK-47 rifles and pump action firearms. Moshood said the suspects confessed during interrogations that they were being sponsored by Melaye. The criminal indictments were part of the reasons police were looking for Melaye, Moshood added. The police subsequently invited the senator for questioning but the he balked, leading to a hide and seek escapade between him and the law enforcement agents. The situation degenerated to the extent that the lawmaker devised crafty means to evade the web spun by the police to arrest him, a couple of times.

    This led the police to declare him wanted. In response, Melaye denied the allegation, describing it as a dubious attempt to ridicule him. “I did not flee Nigeria and have no reason to flee my country leaving my family behind. The lies in the report are nothing but to cause serious disharmony in the Senate and disrupt the spirit of camaraderie among the senators,” he said. Melaye’s subsequent attempt to travel out of the country was prevented by airport security operatives. Soon after the latter seized his international passport, he reportedly snatched it back from them and fled for home.

    The police got wind of the incident and laid a siege to his residence. He was arrested for interrogation about his role as the alleged sponsor of the suspects in its custody. But in a remarkable twist laced with drama, he tried to escape by allegedly jumping off a moving police vehicle en route Lokoja. He was subsequently taken to Zankli hospital, in Abuja, where police authorities put him under close watch to prevent further breach. At the backdrop of the proceedings, observers argue that it is democracy in action and whatever drama ensues would add value to the democratic process.

    The senator’s critics, however, liken his conduct to an intriguing Nollywood flick; built around a plot and character (Melaye) primed to deliberately cause confusion and divert attention from crucial issues of the day. From his resurrected recall process initiated by his constituency, to his faceoff with the police, Melaye believes that forces from Kogi State were bent on jeopardising the work he was elected to perform. According to him, a previous attempt by a detachment of State Anti-Robberry Squad (SARS) operatives from Kogi State to arrest him within an Abuja High Court, was a clear evidence that Police headquarters, Abuja, was partisan. “It is worrisome that the Police Headquarters has got itself entangled in the Kogi political crisis and has taken side.

    One would wonder why the synergy between the law enforcement in Abuja and Kogi State has become so cordial.” The senator said he had taken the matter up with the international community to call global attention to the intimidation and harassment he was facing. The senator had complained on many occasions that his life was at risk. The Kogi State government has, however, responded that it is not after Melaye. Kingsley Fanwo, the Director – General, Media and Publicity to the Kogi State governor, absolved his principal of blame and urged Melaye to quit blaming him. “Criminals were nabbed by the police and they disclosed the persons behind the supply of arms to them.

    The person is running from pillar to post instead of explaining himself. “The simple thing to do here is for him to prove his case and leave the governor out of it. On our part as a government, we are pleased that our anti-crime efforts are yielding fruits. Governor Yahaya Bello is committed to ensuring the safety of all Kogi residents. That is his primary responsibility to the people of the state.” As the battle between Melaye and the police authority rages on, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) announced it would go ahead with Melaye’s recall process that was suspended when he challenged it in court. The state Electoral Commissioner, Prof. James Apam, said following recent Appeal Court ruling, INEC will restart the recall process. These are certainly not the best of times for Dino Melaye.