AU Commission Chairman, speaks on the virtues she learnt from her parents
The recently elected chairman of the Africa Union Commission Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma’s work and success has earned her various awards, accolades and extensive media coverage.
However, not much is known about her personal life, including her upbringing. Dlamini-Zuma spoke about her upbringing during a gathering organized by POPLAR Women on the Frontline in Daveyton on the East Rand, Gauteng in South Africa recently.
“I was the first born of the eight children and life was a bit tough then. It is still now but maybe it was much tougher then. One of the things that my mother taught me was that you are the eldest so if there are four oranges you need to split them amongst the younger kids and if anyone has to go without it, it must be you. I used to think that was not fair but I learned to go around it. If there were seven oranges I knew I’m the one who was not going to get it. So, I’d give each one of them an orange and say ‘mina angiyitholanga’ (Isizulu meaning for I did not get it) and they’ll say ‘sisi sizokusikela’ (sister, we will cut it for you). Each one of them would cut half for me and I would end up with more oranges,” she chuckled.
The experience taught her “that if you give, you will always receive. It may not be necessarily material, it may be spiritual, love, emotional support or service. But if you give and give honestly you’ll always receive. It may not come in the form you’ve given but you’ll always receive. So, I do agree with what the Bible says that a hand that gives is blessed.”
According to Dlamini-Zuma, her late mother Rose Dlamini was very strict. “Even when she was a grandmother and sometimes I would say to her but you are unfair”.
“My mother would go somewhere and when she finds that there is something wrong in the house I’d be the one who gets punished. She’d demand to know where I was and why I didn’t I see what was happening. Even if I said it’s not me she’d say ‘I don’t care, if you took your responsibilities seriously you would have seen the person who was doing it. The fact that they did it and you did not see means you were not responsible enough’,” she recalled.
She explained that what made matters worse was that she had a very “naughty brother” who enjoyed stealing her mother’s Condensed milk.
“My brother loved Condensed milk and when my mother was out and nobody was looking he would take it, make a few holes with a tin-opener and literally drink it. He would then turn over the tin. My mother loved her tea and when she tried to pour Condensed milk in it thinking it was full she’d find that it’s empty. Then, I would be the one who gets punished and I hated Condensed milk! But at the end I realized that she was just teaching me responsibility. It’s not that she was unfair. But as the first born, it taught me to look after my siblings and know their whereabouts.”
Her father, Mr Willibrod Gweva Dlamini according to Dlamini-Zuma was a very special man who had great respect for women and highly encouraged his daughters to get educated.
“When the collar of his shirt was torn, he would remove it, turn it around and sew it back. He would say, ‘I’ m doing this because the only way I can give you a heritage is this way. I won’t leave you money but I can leave you with education. I would like all of you to get educated but if there has to be a choice the girls must get educated because boys can take care of themselves’.
“As a girl you must get educated because in our tradition what is left from the family turns to go to the eldest boy and that’s traditional. But your education will not go to the eldest boy it will be yours until you die. Then my father would say if you get married and everything is good you can be able to assist your husband. But in the event things don’t work out I don’t want my daughter to stay in a bad marriage for a plate of food. The third reason is that if that nice husband of yours by some unfortunate reason passes away while he is still young, I don’t want your children to be abused by a step-father and you turn a blind eye because you are looking for shelter and food.”
Dlamini-Zuma recalled that her father had to convince villagers who were opposed to her decision to get higher degrees instead of getting married. “When I completed my first degree and said that I was going to school again, the villagers said to my father, ‘tell this child to stop it, she doesn’t want to get married she just wants to be at school all the time. Then my father started explaining to them that it is important for girls to get educated,”.
The AU Commission Chairman enjoys listening to music and catering for her guests. “Music is a very important aspect of my life. I find it soothing, calming and energizing. I choose music according to what I want. Even when things are going wrong in my life either in my private life or wherever, music to me is always helpful.”
She said her parents taught her to share with others. “When you cook you always had to leave a bit of food because somebody might just walk in. So, you must be able to give them something to eat and that taught me that you share what you have. You know there are some of the things you’ve done before and you hate them when you are old, but this is one thing that I still like to do. You don’t come to my house and leave without having had anything to eat.
Prophetess Sibongile Sithole of POPLAR Women on the Frontline echoed her sentiment, “You never leave her house without having had a full meal. She makes sure that she serves us and that we are well looked after.”
