Tag: Eko

Today, Hardball revisits the popular Yoruba greeting mode, with the prefix: “Eku”.  Every phenomenon of human activity or even nature, that requires complementing, deserves an “Eku”, by the greeting-freak Yoruba.

“E k’aaro” (good morning), “E k’aasan” (good afternoon), “E k’aale” (good evening), “Ek’odun” (happy anniversary), “Eku’gbadun” (happy jollification), “E ku’simi” (happy repose).

But not every “Eku” is complimentary.  Some could be outright impish and clinically dismissive, like “Ek’osi” and “Eku’ya” (good riddance)!

It is along this “Eku” spirit that Hardball this morning proceeds to greet Lagosians, which with Katsina, Senate President Bukola Saraki just declared the juicy capital of Nigerian political pork.

“Eko,” Hardball hails, “Eku juice oooo!”

How would this greeting sound in Katsina, the joint-juice capital, according to the Saraki theory?  ”Saanu de juice”? Toh!

Sigmund Freud was right.  You don’t access people’s true character, when they are mushy and the situation is sheer bliss and there is a lot of juice — ah, that word again!  But when it becomes jerky, and the tough situation rather bumpy, and you become rather angry, then those rather hidden thoughts come peeping out, like some psychical peeping Tom!  Psychoanalysis calls it Freudian slip.

In the heat and anger of forced(?) defection — your comrades don’t jeer at you as traitor and you still sit immobile — the probable innermost drivers, of Saraki’s senate agonistes became manifest: juice, ladies and gentlemen, juice!

The Saraki that a few days ago rhapsodized on his talks with the president, claiming it wasn’t about who got what but how to fix Nigerian democracy and anchor it on a surer footing, was suddenly, in defection mood, bawling about juice and nothing but juice!

He claimed all the juicy positions were oscillating between Katsina (the president’s home) and Lagos (the vice president’s base); and no one ever threw any juice in the way of Saraki (for his Kwara plebs) and Yakubu Dogara (for his Bauchi talakawa)!  Then, another “breaking news”, as those amateurs always scream on the social media: a cabal had taken over the federal government!  How fresh!

So, the Alpha and Omega of every political odyssey is personal juice?  And the “cabal”, would they have mattered if they helped to funnel the sweet, sweet  juice into the parched throats of Saraki, Dogara and company?  If they did that, would they still remain “cabal” in that friendly and juice-saturated camp?  Toh!

So, it’s time to war for juice.  The battle line being drawn, the battle cry must be formed.

Rise o compariots?  Naaaaa!  Rice is sweet.  But juice is sweeter!

Juice, o compatriots?  Excellent!  To parched throats in estranged camps, juice is coming — Juice, o compatriots!

Lagos and Katsina, watch it!  Saraki and gang are coming for your juice!

Meanwhile, E ku juice ooooo!  Enjoy it while it lasts!

First published on Friday, August 3, 2018

Today, Hardball revisits the popular Yoruba greeting mode, with the prefix: “Eku”.  Every phenomenon of human activity or even nature, that requires complementing, deserves an “Eku”, by the greeting-freak Yoruba.

“E k’aaro” (good morning), “E k’aasan” (good afternoon), “E k’aale” (good evening), “Ek’odun” (happy anniversary), “Eku’gbadun” (happy jollification), “E ku’simi” (happy repose).

But not every “Eku” is complimentary.  Some could be outright impish and clinically dismissive, like “Ek’osi” and “Eku’ya” (good riddance)!

It is along this “Eku” spirit that Hardball this morning proceeds to greet Lagosians, which with Katsina, Senate President Bukola Saraki just declared the juicy capital of Nigerian political pork.

“Eko,” Hardball hails, “Eku juice oooo!”

How would this greeting sound in Katsina, the joint-juice capital, according to the Saraki theory?  ”Saanu de juice”? Toh!

Sigmund Freud was right.  You don’t access people’s true character, when they are mushy and the situation is sheer bliss and there is a lot of juice — ah, that word again!  But when it becomes jerky, and the tough situation rather bumpy, and you become rather angry, then those rather hidden thoughts come peeping out, like some psychical peeping Tom!  Psychoanalysis calls it Freudian slip.

In the heat and anger of forced(?) defection — your comrades don’t jeer at you as traitor and you still sit immobile — the probable innermost drivers, of Saraki’s senate agonistes became manifest: juice, ladies and gentlemen, juice!

The Saraki that a few days ago rhapsodized on his talks with the president, claiming it wasn’t about who got what but how to fix Nigerian democracy and anchor it on a surer footing, was suddenly, in defection mood, bawling about juice and nothing but juice!

He claimed all the juicy positions were oscillating between Katsina (the president’s home) and Lagos (the vice president’s base); and no one ever threw any juice in the way of Saraki (for his Kwara plebs) and Yakubu Dogara (for his Bauchi talakawa)!  Then, another “breaking news”, as those amateurs always scream on the social media: a cabal had taken over the federal government!  How fresh!

So, the Alpha and Omega of every political odyssey is personal juice?  And the “cabal”, would they have mattered if they helped to funnel the sweet, sweet  juice into the parched throats of Saraki, Dogara and company?  If they did that, would they still remain “cabal” in that friendly and juice-saturated camp?  Toh!

So, it’s time to war for juice.  The battle line being drawn, the battle cry must be formed.

Rise o compariots?  Naaaaa!  Rice is sweet.  But juice is sweeter!

Juice, o compatriots?  Excellent!  To parched throats in estranged camps, juice is coming — Juice, o compatriots!

Lagos and Katsina, watch it!  Saraki and gang are coming for your juice!

Meanwhile, E ku juice ooooo!  Enjoy it while it lasts!