The Nation Newspaper

Tag: emotions

  • The end of our apetitesm passions, and emotions

    A  life without love is not a story to tell.  All humans need to be loved and to love starting from birth and ending in death.  We are social beings and normally part of a society.  In order for our appetites, passions, and emotions to work optimally, the family is compulsory; the workplace or business is compulsory; the faith community is compulsory; the world is compulsory.

    I just heard a commentator on TV say that the strongest man is the one who can control himself, not the man who controls others.  In the same vain, one who cannot direct himself well can hardly direct others well.

    Appetites, passions, and emotions are safest when love is their end.  By love, we are not fixed on sexual gratification.  By love, we mean tending towards the good and pleasure of a person, be it self, be it spouse, be it child, be it parent, be it boss, be it subordinate, be it colleague, be it citizen, be it servant, be it master, be it ruler, be it stranger, be it pastor, be it follower, be it rich man, be it poor man, be it the sick, be it the healthy, but most especially love of God, the source of humanity.  Appetites, passions, and emotions are best when love is their end.

    Many questions are asked about what is wrong and what is right about our appetites, passions, and emotions.  Possibly, no amount of science, no amount of philosophy, no amount of theology, no amount of sociology, and no amount of reasoning will ever answer these questions. One thing that is clear and unfailing is that appetites, passions, and emotions are best served on a plate of love.  Without love, they are toxic to the world. With love, they are tonic to the world.

    On appetites, one may ask oneself: how many university degrees should I acquire, how many cars should I collect, house many houses should I own, how much wealth should I amass, how many titles should I hold, how many positions should I be in, how many friends should I have, how much money should I keep, how soon should I get what I want or need, how should I get what I want or what I need?  There may be no answer as sure as love. St Augustine of Hippo said, “love and do what you will”.  You can never be wrong in love. You can always be blameless if your end is love.  Love of self, love of neighbour, and love of God are the ends of human appetites in a world of peace and progress.  None of these loves is unimportant and none of these loves should be undeveloped.

    On passions, one may ask oneself: what am I doing with my life, what am I doing with my time, what am I doing with my health, what am I doing with my possessions, what am I doing with my education, what am I doing with my talents, what am I doing with my pedigree, what am I doing with my nationality, what am I doing with my opportunities, what am I doing with my experience, what am I doing with my environment, what am I doing with my money, what am I  doing with my capabilities? There may be no answer as sure as love. Mahatma Gandhi said “Live as if you were to die tomorrow”. You can never be wrong in love. You can always be blameless if your end is love.  Love of self, love of neighbour, and love of God are the ends of human passions in a world of freedom and happiness.  None of these loves is unimportant and none of these loves should be ignored.

    On emotions, one may ask oneself: why am I angry, why am I happy, why am I sad, why am I envious, why am I malicious,  why am I  empathetic, why am I vengeful, why am I vicious, why am  I cheerful, why am I fearful, why am I  ashamed, why am I excited, why am I surprised, why am I  disgusted? How often do I have positive emotions – that are pleasant? How often do I have negative emotions – that are unpleasant? How do I balance my emotions?  How do people affect me, temporarily or permanently?  How does the environment affect me, temporarily or permanently? There may be no answer as sure as love or the lack of love. Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools.” You can never be wrong in love. You can always be blameless if your end is love.  Love of self, love of neighbour, and love of God are the ends of human emotions in a world of diversity and unity.  None of these loves is unimportant and none of these loves should be un-practiced.

    Whatever is going on outside of oneself, whether within one’s family, workplace, faith community, society or the world, one must first of all take care of whatever is going on inside of one’s self.  We each need to be a building block of a good society. Love is known as a divine commandment and should be taught our children.  It makes the difference between whether a person lives as a child of the world or a child of God.  The appetites, passions, and emotions are in the end, our tools of love.

    Dr. Theresa Adebola John is a lecturer at Lagos State University College of Medicine (LASUCOM) and an affiliated researcher at the College of Medicine, University of Tennessee, Memphis.  For any comments or questions on this column, please email bolajohnwritings@yahoo.com or call 08160944635

  • Motions and Emotions: a new vanguard of hope

    It is common knowledge these days that many Nigerians are unhappy with the state of the nation. Times are hard, they say, and they are also not only losing hope for today, but also for a better tomorrow. However, to a young Nigerian artist and lecturer at the Creative Arts Department, University of Lagos, Mr. Bolaji Ogunwo, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Ogunwo expressed his inner feelings and conviction (a very patriotic one for that matter) about Nigeria of today and the future in no fewer than 58 paintings.

    They are  featuring in his solo exhibition: Motions and Emotions that opened last Saturday at Nike Art Gallery, Lekki, Lagos.

    The exhibition, which is a commemorative show to mark his 40th birthday anniversary as well as homage to Nigeria at 58, is a journey into a new Nigeria he wishes to see. It features paintings of diverse subjects and media ranging from oil to acrylic and mixed media that address economic and socio-political trajectory of Nigeria.

    His collection includes Arise of compatriot, Victory ahead, Breaking news, How did we get here? and Where do we go from here?

    Some of his paintings examine trendy issues and perceptions people hold about Nigeria and its survival. Despite the pessimism, Ogunwo believes that his exhibition is capable of stimulating a positive contagious optimism among Nigerians. Instructively, Motions and Emotions is a visual narratives interrogating Nigeria’s contemporary socio-economic and political trajectory.

    According to the artist, the exhibition also underscores the common place actions and reactions towards current democratic architecture. His repertoire seeks to stimulate a discourse and hopefully find answers to the questions often asked: How did we get here? And Where do we go from here?

    “As a creative seer, I am still living the hope of better times than this, I strongly believe that at the end, all will be well, since it does not seem well presently. Invariably, this is not the end. As enshrined in our national anthem, there lies a great and lofty height to attain where justice and peace shall reign, “ he said. And through his lens, he perceives a ray of hope shining through and leading to a place called ‘there’

    Also, the art lecturer has added a new dimension to his exhibition package by documenting reactions of 130 artists, scholars and critics about the theme of his exhibition in a coffee table book format. The special brochure is a kind of interrogation of a new Nigeria that is possible, especially at a time many Nigerians are leaving the country for greener pastures. Notwithstanding his strong optimistic about Nigeria, Ogunwo’s paintings are subtle illustrative representation of such feelings. He is not confrontational in his visual representation, yet impactful. For instance, one of Ogunwo’s paintings on restructuring shows a little girl arranging a toy with an innocent mind. This, in a way, is his response to the calls for restructuring.

    “At 50, I want to see a better Nigeria, where I can walk around Lagos at 2am without fear, where Naira would have better value and our roads are in better conditions. People may not understand the paintings now, but it is an enduring medium chronicling the events for posterity. At the opening, ten percent may go away with the optimism, and the change can come later,” he said. Motions and Emotions is curated by Ekire Ita Inyang, and will run till Saturday at Nike Art Gallery, Lekki Lagos. Inyang said that for the artist to draw his theme from national issues, shows him as historian.

     

  • How negative emotions can lead to cancer

    How negative emotions can lead to cancer

    Is there a link between cancer and unexpressed anger? A traditional medicine practitioner, Dr Godwin Ihesie, tells OYEYEMI GBENGA-MUSTAPHA more on this.

    Cancer is caused by the suppression of toxic emotions; primarily anger, hate, resentment and grief. Suppression of these toxic negative emotions increases stress hormone cortisol levels, which directly suppress immune system function. When the immune system is not functioning properly, normal cells mutate into cancer cells as revealed in the six phases of cancer.

    A homeopathic doctor, Dr Godwin Ihesie, urged people to do away with negative emotions such as anger, hate, resentment and grief. These negative emotions are causes of cancer, especially breast cancer.

    Dr Ihesie said the root cause of cancer is by negative emotions; more so,  cancer in the right breast is spurred by conflicts with the opposite sex. Cancer in the small intestines is a result of prolonged depression. Anger, he also said, can result in cancer in the large intestine. People should learn to let go and not suppress toxic emotions- primarily anger, hate, resentment and grief.

    “Cancer absolutely has emotional roots. There are so many evidences suggesting that repressed anger, hate and resentment play a crucial role in the development of cancer. Increased stress hormones caused by emotional triggers suppress the immune system, which can lead to cancer. Stress is known in the traditional and alternative communities as a major cause of inflammation. It is one thing everyone agrees on, Inflammation has been discovered at the base of all known diseases. Stress kills through cancer or heart attack or autoimmune disease. None should allow it to control his or her life. Balanced emotions equal a balanced physiological system,” said Dr Ihesie.

    Explaining further, he said when it comes to cancer, there are obvious mind-body links. Stress, pessimism and other emotional factors have been proven to play a role, increasing the risk of cancer, metastasis and early mortality. In particular, stress has been shown to depress the immune system, increase inflammation and affect the bodies on the molecular level, even damaging the DNA.

    He cited a researcher at the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine (A4M) Fellowship, integrative medicine pioneer Isaac Eliaz, M.D., L.Ac., who discussed how negative emotions hinder immune response and fuel cancer formation and metastasis.

    “The negative effects of stress have been studied in a variety of cancers including breast, ovarian, and digestive tract. In one study cited by Dr. Eliaz, breast cancer risk doubled for women after a divorce, separation or the death of their spouse. In addition to reducing our body’s resistance to cancer, stress, depression and isolation also increase metastasis. The best way out is to ensure negative emotion do not reside in the body,” said Dr Ihesie.

    Way out

    “At some point most of us learned that it is a good idea to forgive people. We learned that it is “holy” or “spiritual”.  But there is a more basic reason to forgive people: when you don’t forgive them, it ruins your life’’. Dr Ihesie said the law of the universe is that humans attract what they focus on. If you are focused on fearing whatever may come, you are sending a strong message to the Universe/Nature to send you whatever you fear. Instead if you can get yourself into feelings of joy, love, appreciation or gratitude, and focus on bringing more of that into your life, you are going to avoid the negative stuff automatically. Find something to be happy about every day, and every hour if possible, moment to moment, even if only for a few minutes. This is the easiest and best protection you can have. If nothing else, be joyous that you are alive,” he stated.

    He continued: “Studies have it that hostility and resentment tear down the immune system and double the risk of heart attack, cancer and other non communicable disease (NCDs) such as diabetes. So, it is good to eschew all animosity, bitterness because bitterness makes one sick.

    “To forgive someone, you don’t have to agree with what they did. You just  want your life to work. Is it easy? Usually it is not. But you don’t forgive people for their benefit. You do it for your benefit,” he advised.

  • Emotions at AMAA 2016

    Emotions at AMAA 2016

    •Burkina Faso’s Eye of the Storm wins Best Film

    It was a night of bright colours, glamour, fun and standing ovations at the 12th edition of the Africa Movie Academy Awards (AMAA) which held at the Dr Obi Wali International Convention Centre in Port Harcourt, Rivers State.

    Hosted by Nigeria’s Mike Ezuruonye and South Africa’s Kgopedi Lilokoe, the event kicked off with a beautiful start; a welcome speech by the head of the jury, Shaibu Husseini.

    Welcoming guests to the event, which was graced by the governor of Rivers State, Nyesom Wike, Minister of Information and Culture, Lai Mohammed, Hon Femi Gbajabiamila, Husseini revealed that for every edition in the last 12 years, hundreds of films from across the continent and the Diaspora arrive at the AMAA offices.

    This year, he said, the college of jurors received a total of 485 entries from over 60 countries, mostly within Africa.

    “Indeed we are encouraged by the ever increasing number of entries being received and we look forward to a continuation of the trend. As academy jurors, our aim from inception, has always been to reward and encourage African originality and to seek out and bring to wider attention, the continent’s distinct and unique culture. This has been our guiding principles and it is the ambition that formed our deliberations this year,” he said.

    Once he was done with his speech, the most anticipated moment followed, as, one after the other, nominees were announced and winners were called to receive their awards.

    Among the winners for the night and their different categories were Best Short Film, Meet The Parents (Nigeria/Canada); Best Animation, The Pencil (Burkina Faso); Best Documentary, The Fruitless Tree (Niger); Best Diaspora Short Across The Track (USA); Michael Anyiam Osigwe Award For Best Film By An African Living Abroad, Lambadina (Ethiopia/USA); Best Diaspora Feature, Ben & Ara (USA); Best Diaspora Documentary, Agents of Change; Achievement In Costume Design, Eye of the Storm; Achievement In Production Design, The Cursed One (Ghana); Achievement In Make-Up, Soldiers Story; Achievement In Soundtrack, O-Town (Nigeria); Achievement In Visual Arts, Oshimiri (Nigeria); Achievement In Cinematography, The Cursed One; Achievement In Editing, Hear me Move; Achievement In Screen Play, Tell me Something Sweet; Rivers State Government Endowed Award For Best Nigerian Film, Dry

    Others were Best Director, Nana Obiri-Yaboah and Maximilian Clausse (The Cursed One); Best Young / Promising Actor, Zubaidat Ibrahim Fagge (Dry); Best Actor in a Leading Role, Daniel K Daniel (Soldiers Story); Best Actress in a Leading Role, Fulu Mugovhani (Ayanda); Best First Feature Film By A Director, Beyond Blood (Greg Odutayo); Lifetime Achievement Award, Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva, Tony Akposheri, RMD; Best Film, Eye of the Storm (Burkina Faso)

    Though the event was almost marred by logistic issues which included a power outage that lasted almost 20 minutes, some of Africa’s finest entertainers were on ground to charge the ambience. While comedy was provided by Arinze Baba, an up and coming artiste who pulled his weight at the event, the duo of Harrysong and Kcee  also kept guests entertained. Yinka Davies also brought in a sombre moment when she rendered a song in honour of the departed musician and music producer, Nomoreloss.

    However, a more emotional moment was the conferment of the Lifetime Achievement award on the duo of Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva.

    Although receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award is an opportunity to hug the spotlight, for Joke, it was time to well up. Delivering her acceptance speech on behalf of her husband who was right beside her, the thespian said in tears; “it’s been a difficult ride. I know there are so many people in this hall who know what a struggle it is to be in our industry and to keep going year-in, year-out, and to just keep climbing the mountains. For AMAA awards, thank you very much. I really appreciate. It was so good and unexpected.”

    Other recipients of the Lifetime Achievement Awards were Tony Akpsheri of The New Masquerade fame as well as the celebrated Richard Mofe Damijo.

    As with Olu Jacobs and Joke Sylva, it was also a time for RMD to get emotional. Crediting his entire career to the grace of God and the influence of people like Peace Anyiam-Osigwe, RMD thanked every young and old person he’s worked with who encouraged him on his journey.

    “But, I can’t forget the one person who sacrificed her own fame for me, who opted to be my wife and the mother of my children. I love you for all the sacrifice you have made. I am much better than when she met me. And truly, I cannot be here without you. This one goes to every child that is born in an unknown street in Warri, in Port Harcourt, in the Niger Delta, in Zamfara, anywhere in the world. If you believe, just stay in your lane and never give up. Just like me, from one street in Warri, I am standing here today in distinguished company,” he said.

  • Emotions flow at AMVCA 2016

    Emotions flow at AMVCA 2016

    It was an emotional moment for Nollywood actress and filmmaker Stephanie Linus as her movie, Dry, was named Best Overall Movie at the recent Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards held at the Eko Hotel and Suites, Victoria Island, last Saturday.

    The ceremony, which held yesterday hosted the who-is-who in the Nigerian movie industry.

    The ceremony kicked off at about 4pm with a red carpet which was graced by some of Nollywood’s finest. After all the razzmatazz of the red carpet, guests were soon settled in to witness what has come to be regarded as one of the most prestigious award ceremonies in Africa.

    From the keenly contested to the not so prominent categories, the award ceremony had a surprise for the crowd that turned out to witness it.

    But it wasn’t just about movies, the AMVCA 2016 also paraded the best of music, interspersed with comedy from artistes drawn from all over Africa. Highlife crooner, Flavour N’abania and his Nigerian counterpart, Yemi Alade were among the artistes whose performances kept the audience on their feet. Yemi Alade, together with her dancers added energy and the much needed verve necessary for an event of such nature.

    As the award categories were reeled out, it was clear the movie lovers were in for a surprise. Although, it wasn’t quite unexpected for Funke Akindele’s Jenifa’s Diary to clean out the Best Actor in a Comedy (Folarin Falana) and Best Actress in a Comedy (Funke Akindele) categories.

    What was really surprising was the relatively unknown Daniel K Daniel clinching the Best Actor in a Drama for his role in A Soldier’s Story, beating the likes of Mike Ezuruonye, Majid Michael, Van Vicker, Segun Arinze and Blossom Chukwujekwu to the game.

    Another category that left guests wondering was the Best Actress in a Drama which was won by Adesua Etomi for her role in Falling. Etomi took down big wigs in the industry; Genevieve Nnaji (Road to Yesterday), Mary Lazarus (Don’t Cry for Me), Belinda Effah (Stop), Fulu Mugovhani (Ayanda) and Nse Ikpe-Etim (The Visit) to emerge winner.

    Another very emotional moment for attendees was the moment when tribute was paid to Nollywood’s fallen heroes. Among those honoured were Peter Bunor, Mufatau Sanni, Tosin Badmus, Prioye Sokunbi, Mike Odiachi, Olumide David, Saleh AGM, Aisha Dankano, and Benson Wanjau.

    More emotions poured in when the moment came to present the 2016 AMVCA Legendary Merit Award. The award went to Bukky Ajayi and Sadiq Daba, both veterans of repute. Sadiq was not around to receive his award, but Bukky Ajayi who made it to the ceremony had to be wheeled in.

    “There are some of you that I might have offended; please forgive me. There are some people who offended me, I have forgiven you. Thank you very much. I am very happy, from the bottom of my heart. Do not mind that I am crying. I do wish to stand up, but if I stand up, I will fall down. You all standing for me? Thank you very much. I am very grateful and I feel very honoured,” a tearful Ajayi said, rounding her speech up with the peace sign to the applause of the audience.

    Among other winners at the prestigious award were Akin Omotosho (Best Director), Trail Blazer Award (Kemi ‘Lala’ Akindoju), Best Movie (West Africa) – Genevieve, Chinny Onwugbenu and Chichi Nwoko (Road to Yesterday), Best Art Director, Frank Rajah (The Refugees); Best Television Series, Ariyike Oladipo (Daddy’s Girls); Best Short Film or Online Video, Oluseyi Amuwafo (A Day With Death), Best Lighting Designer, Stanley Ohikhuare (Common Man); Best Cinematographer, Paul Michaelson (Tell Me Sweet Something);  Best Sound Editor, Jose Guillermo (Dry) and Best Picture Editor (Shirley Frimpong-Manso, Rebecca).

  • My emotions led me into wrong relationships before I met my husband – UK-based charity worker Olasubomi Iginla-Aina

    My emotions led me into wrong relationships before I met my husband – UK-based charity worker Olasubomi Iginla-Aina

    United Kingdom-based charity worker, Olasubomi Iginla-Aina, is the CEO of Lightup Foundation, a UK-based NGO. Among other things, Olasubomi through her NGO, has taken it upon herself to travel round some of the poorest nations of the world to give succour where necessary to the poor and downtrodden in society. The main idea, according to her, is to inspire and empower young people across the world to take actions which create positive change and real impact in their communities. But in the course of doing this, Olasubomi, an architect, also has to live her personal life. In this interview with PAUL UKPABIO, she tells us the story of how she scaled through a polygamous home to move up the ladder of life and eventually got a consultant psychiatrist as husband in the UK. 

    You came to Nigeria from the United Kingdom to host the sowing of what is to be known as the Biggest Bag in the World, a project for Guinness Book of World record, and you chose your alma mater as the venue. What is this love for Lagos Anglican Girls Grammar School about?

    I attended Yewande Memorial School. I used to be on the debate team for my school then and I remember I used to tell my friends while I was in primary school, that I will in future attend Lagos Anglican Girls Grammar School in Surulere, Lagos, and I will be the head girl. It used to be one of the good schools then and everybody wanted to bring their children there. As soon as I got into JS 1 there, a teacher spotted me and called me, ‘head girl’. The reason is that I started carrying myself like a head girl from JSS 1, I started to get concerned about the plight of others and caring for other students and I noticed that a lot of the prefects and other students just wanted to work with me even though I was in JSS 1.

    The leadership stint was in me and while I was in SS3, I was doing some studies at Yaba College of Technology at the same time, because I passed my GCE earlier. It was after the WAEC that I started preparing for GCE and luckily, I got 4As and 5Cs. A in Yoruba, A in Mathematics, A in Physics and C in all other five subjects. So, I passed my GCE early and I went further to do Poly-JAMB for Yaba-Tech and just while I was in SS2, I already had admission to Yaba Tech but I could not go because Yaba Tech had a student strike then. So, I started Yaba Tech when I was in SS3 and it was somehow cumbersome. I would come to Lagos Anglican Girls Grammar School today and tomorrow I would be in Yaba Tech.

    How were you able to do all that?

    Well, I grew up not having a mother and that increased my sense of urgency and sense of survival. I was doing architecture in Yaba Tech. I didn’t have a mother; I didn’t have proper guidance. I was just doing it and naturally enjoying it until one day, the HOD came to greet my new principal at Lagos Anglican Girls’ Grammar School and I was the head girl of the School despite the fact that I was studying at Yaba Tech. And because this lady was always proud of me, she said: ‘Subomi come and meet my friend’; she didn’t know I knew the woman but the woman herself didn’t know me because I was a new student at Yaba Tech; and when she extended her greetings to me and said ‘Hello’. I humbly maintained a dodgy calmness because I didn’t want her to say ‘Oh, lady, but I have seen you at Yaba Tech’. I was silently praying ‘Oh, Father God, don’t let this woman match this face with the one she sees at Yaba Tech, just let me leave this place in peace’ and I left the place. So, I have been much attached to Lagos Anglican Girls Grammar School. Again, while I was there, I desired to move to the University of Ife (OAU). I also wanted to be the Student Union President when I get there. It was another self-made decision that God helped me to actualise. And my friends said then that ‘girls don’t become presidents’ and all that, they didn’t understand me. And one day, I left Lagos for Ife.

    How did that happen?

    When I passed my JAMB, there was nobody to go and lobby for me. You know parents used to go to lobby for their children to say ‘Oh, this is what my kid got in school.’ There was nobody to do that. So, I just went to Ife on my own that day and I went to see the HOD at the Environment Department. When I got to his office, there was an elderly woman that sat down with me. She came to advocate for the plight of her daughter. And we were to see the HOD one after another. I was supposed to be the next person because I was there before the woman but this woman stepped in to see the HOD. I was shocked because I had been waiting patiently before the woman came. So, I went in with her and there, the woman was busy advocating and telling the HOD about her daughter and the man was saying ‘don’t worry, she will be fine bla-bla-bla’. And as she was about to leave, because the man all the while thought I was the woman’s daughter, the HOD faced me and said: ‘Young girl, don’t worry, you will be fine, you will get your admission’.

    Seeing the scenario being played out, the woman said: ‘No, she is not my daughter’ and the man looked at me and I said: ‘She is not my mother’.  ‘So, who are you?’ I replied him and said: ‘Sir, I actually came also to advocate for admission; I also got a good grade’. He said: ‘Where is your mother?’ I said: ‘I don’t have a mother’. He said: ‘Ah! Where is your father?’ How was I going to defend a polygamous man with over eight wives and concubines? The man said: ‘Oh, so you came on your own volition?’ and I said: ‘Yes, I also came to get admission’. The man said: ‘Just wait! Just wait!’ And he then dismissed the woman as he wrote my name down and he said: ‘I will make sure I monitor your admission and you will get admission into the school because you have everything it takes.’  When I came back, he said: ‘Oh, you are the number 9th on the admission list’ and that was how I became a student of the Architecture Department.

    You later went on to become the Vice President of the Student Union, what was winning an election like there?

    I wanted to be the Student Union President. I was so concerned because a lot of touts were the ones that became the SUG leaders, and they kept closing the school every time because touts were the ones leading us, they were the ones taking decisions for we that call ourselves ‘sane’. So, I felt there were some things wrong and needed change. I kept telling my friends: ‘Why should we go home because of a nuisance or somebody who feels he is all in all?’ and a lot of them were not even students. So, why should we go home as a result of people who have no life ambitions? Some of us can assume this position and influence a change’ they said ‘no, no, we don’t do that here. Apart from the fact that such position is not for a woman, they will kill you because most of them are cult guys.’

    How did you overcome?

    I fasted and saw in one revelation God showed to me, two moons and I saw my surname, ‘Iginla’ written between those moons. Everybody called me Shuby in school. I was tempted to use Shubby for the election but in that revelation, Iginla was the name I was given, so I needed to follow the instruction to be able to win that election; so, I used Iginla. Now, everybody had been showing off that they wanted to contest and I had just nine days to Election Day. So, I had nine days to prove to the entire Ife campus that I was around and that I can do it.  I asked God what next thing to do, because I did not have any money. Omo ti ko ni iya kii legbo leyin (A motherless child cannot afford to have a sore at the back of the skin).

    So, I stood up and I made my first move. A lady came into my room and I said: ‘Please, just get me chalk’ and N200 fetched us a pack of chalk, and all through that night, myself and a friend of mine in architecture wrote I-g-i-n-l-a everywhere in Ife such that there was nobody that woke up within the campus community of Ife that day that would not see Iginla, because I didn’t have money for posters.  Even up to the toilets and the most hidden corners, there was no how you would wake that you would not want to brush your teeth or take your bath, you must see Iginla in every toilet, we wrote Iginla everywhere and by the time it was morning, everybody was asking ‘Who is Iginla? Because they didn’t see any poster due to my economic challenge.

    But the question refused to go away! “Who is Iginla?” was the question everywhere; but on this particular occasion, I went to Adekunle Fajuyi Hall and I was speaking, telling them about my manifesto and there was this particular guy who did not interrupt my conversation. But my spirit kept going towards the guy. After talking to everybody, I got attracted to him, because he never made a comment, he was just drawing as he was in the Arts Department. So, I spoke to him that I needed a mascot. He promised to get me one by 9pm. By 9pm he knocked at my door and said ‘I am going to be the mascot’ and I said ‘I don’t have money’ he said ‘Just go and get me a white clothe and get me paint’. I don’t know how I got that money to buy paint and we did it. By the time he came out in motion ground where students went to take pictures at Ife, there were lots of camera men there. All of them, it was as if Bill Clinton was in motion ground. People were just taking pictures and there was a sudden mass attention and people started following the mascot with the name Iginla on it.

    Now, God did another shocking thing. There was a lecturer called Ogunbameru, he had about 5,000 students; he was doing a general elective course. Ogunbameru mounted the stage and said ‘Look here, I don’t know who this Iginla is, but I want you people to vote for him’ (Instead of her). That was what he said because nobody knew if it was he or her, he said ‘because he (Iginla) is environmental friendly. He is a not messing up our walls, Ife is a beautiful school but you guys are messing up our halls with laminated posters and you are spending money, nobody knows where you got the money from and you are going to steal the money back when you get into power. Go and vote for Iginla because he is environmental friendly, he is using chalk to write on the wall so that when it rains, it will wash off. And Iginla will not steal your money’. The man was companying for me in front of 5,000 students and two of my friends rushed into my room, they said ‘Where did you know Ogunbameru?’ and I said ‘I don’t know him at all’. I went on to win.

    So how did you move from being a Vice President to become President?

    I had a revelation from God about my president, that he was about to run into crisis. I started looking for him everywhere in school. By the time I saw him, I said ‘Look here, you are about to run into error, please, be watchful of your acts from now so that you will not be removed’. He did not listen to me. One morning I was going into the Acting Department and somebody rushed to me and said ‘Subomi, hope you did not get injured?’. I said ‘injured? What happened?’ She said overnight, there was serious fight and the president was involved. Everybody was involved and there was serious pandemonium everywhere and people had been rushed to the hospital. I packed my bags in confusion and ran to Lagos; and I was terrified, I said ‘I told him’ because I saw everything that was going to happen to him in a revelation that God gave me, so I knew the severity. Within the next 24 hours, I was by the radio listening to the crisis, that Ife had scattered and everything had gone bad.

    I knew there was going to be a parliamentary sitting that night; within that 24 hours, the PRO of OAU was in Lagos; he came to my house but didn’t meet me and he wrote ‘The die is cast, the mantle has fallen, you are now the President of Ife SUG’ You must report within 24 hours to Ife.’ That was how I emerged the President of Obafemi Awolowo University Student Union Government ; and from there, God started helping me and I realised that He had actually deposited a lot in me  which I had even identified when I was in secondary school. I will enter into an election room, for a club for which I am not a member and I will be chosen. I was the President of Jet; I was the president of Red Cross; I was the President of Arts and Craft; I was the head girl. I later realised that I will get somewhere and something will happen and I will have to replace the leader. It has happened not once, not twice and I realised that it was a calling I had to live with.

    You later relocated abroad?

    I actually started Lightup Foundation here. I was involved in a lot of charity projects not directly with the Federal Government; I was just doing my own thing. I was able to use my funds to do a lot of things for the people. By God’s grace I had a very rich father who left wealth for his 41 children. My father, Alhaji Alade Iginla, made each one of us a millionaire in naira through his ‘shares.’

    What number are you among the children?

    I think he had many wives and my mother’s position I wouldn’t know because she passed on when I was very young. I don’t even know which number I am as his child. In 2005, there was draught in Niger Republic and I volunteered myself as a charity worker over there. I felt there were lots of wealthy Nigerians who have money but wouldn’t spend. So, if I have money, I should be able to use it to serve humanity. There was a day I called my insurance broker and I said to him: ‘I wanted to withdraw a large sum of money’ and the guy had to sit me down, he wanted to be sure it was not 419 people that were working on me. He said: ‘What do you want to use this money for? I said: ‘don’t you hear that people are dying in Niger Republic and I have shares? Let’s sell the shares and get food for them. And I sold the shares and got the money.

    I volunteered for Nigeria and we bought food from the Northern parts of Nigeria and took it there. We went to several provinces and localities. We met the governor of the capital of a state, we met chiefs and traditional rulers there and they supported us well. We distributed foods in all the communities, the capital and all the rest. We met UNICEF, we met Washington Post and they interviewed me, it was very colorful. In fact I got to Republic of Niger and I heard somebody say ‘Iginla’ and I looked back, I said ‘Who knows me here?’ And it was actually an Ife student who was guiding Washington Post on assignments and it was really a wonderful experience. Later I decided to travel to America; I prayed that God should direct me to America. I wanted to be sure if that was the direction from God, I didn’t want to go to a place where I am not supposed to be. But I prepared documents to submit to the UK embassy because my mind wanted America, I acted in the flesh, I didn’t know when I addressed all my letters and documents to the US consular officer and I submitted it to UK consular officer. You can see the confusion of course. US was what I wanted but I was forced by the will of God and it was submitted to the UK consular officer. I didn’t know how they didn’t see it, they did not deny that visa. I was going there for the first time and I applied for two years and they gave me two years.

  • Unstable emotions

    Unstable emotions

    When you are a king anywhere in the world, you are feared and respected by the people you rule. You are seen as a lion amongst your people; you are believed not to show any form of emotions or weakness even towards the queen who also fears and respects you but the book tells the love story of a king.

    Known as King Ido, he is the king of Ozolua who after losing his wife refused to remarry until he fell in love with an outcast, Esewi (a woman who has had sexual relationship with almost all the men in the village and whom the king saved from being killed by the angry villagers).

    His was a mad love, a love that seem not to find any fault with the outcast even as almost all the men in the village had had carnal knowledge of her.

    To the king she was his perfect queen. He was blind to all her faults. She was like a god to him. He felt as if if he punished her for her sins (prostitution) he would die. She was to him the only one that could bring him out of his loneliness.

    In page 21, the king in a conversation with Esewi said; “lust will close its eyes for a beauty sheltered in scandal, for its sake, lust will run away, and only love would dare to stay. You can help me up, yet a thousand times I would fall in love.”

    Even with all the persuasion from his palace chiefs and Esewi herself, he went ahead to marry her. Like a dog that goes back to its vomit, she went back to her old ways as the queen again began to have sexual relationship with men in the village but yet the king again forgives her.

    In page 40 she told the king: “I warned you, didn’t I? I am a queen but with no pride. A dog running to its vomit, of what worth am I to thee? If not to give you away in grief even when I intend not to do this I end up submitting to its will. Let me be my love, that again you might not be hurt. For the man beaten once more is only a fool who did not learn his lesson. Sadly, you are many things but foolish.

    “Let not the foolishness of love make you mine. Of this incident people will hear. In the palace none would expect me, but against their will you may act and they will call you a foolish man. A farmer caressing a rotten tuber, a hunter holding unto a decayed animal; a lion dragging a feast with the vultures. Please leave now my lord for I can always find my way abroad.”

    The king again refuses and takes his queen home. She didn’t stop, she did it again and again until the king became sick but yet didn’t send her away.

    In page 55 the king said: “She is my life when I fall, the fine moon in my dark night. Yet she is my nightmare, when to rest I lay my head. A big tree under the scorch of the sun, gives me shade that I may not burn, yet all around her are thorns, all painted in my blood.”

    The queen later fell into the hands of the king Ediae of Uzebu kingdom, a sworn enemy of his king. King Ediae sleeps with her and makes her his slave. This infuriated King Ido who went into war to get back his queen. He defeated Uzebu kingdom and rescued his queen but is pierced by an arrow and dies.

  • My emotions changed

    WHEN I met my girlfriend I thought she was the best thing that happened to me. A few months after, she came to see me in the office with her sister. Ever since, I have not been myself again; all the affection that I had for her has been transferred to her sister and I just don’t know what to do. Should I tell her how I am feeling or should I subdue what I am feeling? Phillip.

    Response

    This certainly cannot be love. Love does not change this way and it means that you never really loved your girlfriend in the first place; it was lust and if you are careful, you would keep on transferring what you think is love from one person to another. If you do not love your girlfriend, then get out of the relationship before things get out of hands.

    Still have feelings for her

    Hello ma’am, my name is Idongesit from Akwa Ibom. Please, I have a problem and I need your help. It would really mean a lot to me. I have been dating a girl for almost three years. We loved each other, did a lot of things together, shared the same thought. Everything. We broke up last year around June and up till now I have not recovered from it. She said I was unfaithful to her, but I know have misbehaved just twice and I promised her that it would never happen again and I was living with the promise. I never misbehaved again but she found someone else she was in love with, according to her.

    He was the one that was supporting her during the period I was misbehaving, and during that period she said she started developing feelings for him. So, we broke up and I was hurt. She told me how she will miss me because actually she loved me. She wants us to be close friends, but it’s difficult for me because this was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, now telling me that we should be friends. I’m really hurt. I still have feelings for her. If she should come and apologise, I will take her! I really love her; my problem is how can I forget her? What do I do to make me be like any ordinary friend?

    Response

    Idongesit, it is obvious that you really love this lady. It is possible that she also loves you but unfortunately her heart is elsewhere. Why don’t you just forget her and start on a clean slate with another person. There are so many beautiful girls out there, waiting for men who are as dedicated and loving as you are. However, if she is truly yours, she will certainly come back to you. This will happen once she realises that you are truly in love with her and the other person is just fooling around.

    She stole my ATM

    Dear Yetty, I met a girl at a friend’s party and we got along very well. Everything went well and I was actually considering this girl for marriage when I discovered that some items in my house were missing. I also discovered that my ATM had been stolen and we started searching for it. In the process, I realised that it was the girl that I love who was the thief and I confronted her with the fact. To my utmost surprise, she did not deny the allegations. Instead, she started crying and asked people to beg me to forgive her. Do you think I should take her back? Aliu.

    Response

    Too bad! Personally, I don’t think you should take her back. If you do, she is likely to do this to you again and again. Now that you have discovered her habits, it is better to let go.

    He is not romantic

    Dear Yetty, I have been dating a guy for about six months now and he has been really nice to me. However, I have noticed that he is not a romantic person at all. Ever since we met he has never kissed me for one day and I feel awful. Each time he visits me or we go out together, he keeps a small distance and all he does is talk, talk and talk. I am getting tired of this relationship and I wonder if it is going to last the way we are going about it. Vivian.

    Response

    Yes, it is obvious that the two of you are on parallel lines as far as emotional matters are concerned. You are not likely to go far together if you continue this way. However, you need to talk to him first and let him know how you are feeling about his attitude. If he is really keen about the relationship, then he may just change. For all you know, he may just be keeping a distance to make you happy.

    She is messing around

    I love and admire a lady who lives in my neighbourhood. She is a very pretty lady and she is the toast of many. At the beginning of the relationship, I decided to tolerate some of the things that were going on, but at a point, I realised that I just cannot stomach it anymore. My friends keep telling me about her and how she has been dating all kinds of men in the neighbourhood but I thought that they were just exaggerating the stories. One day, I went to see her at home and I met someone in the house. I expected her to tell the other guy to leave but she just sat there talking and laughing with him. There was nothing sober in her attitude and I had to leave the place in anger. Do you think this girl is serious? Matthew

    Response

    Sorry about the treatment. I can imagine what you must be passing through with this lady. The truth of the matter is that she is not keen about this relationship.

  • ‘War on emotions is driving us insane’

    ‘War on emotions is driving us insane’

    Have you ever been provoked by someone into fear, anger or pain, and then blamed, punished or humiliated for feeling and expressing these feelings? This is a form of psychological torture which has very serious consequences.

    Here are three stories that demonstrate how commonly this form of torture occurs in human society.

    Imagine that you are an Arab living in occupied Palestine. Everyday your work, study, family relationships and/or friendships require you to travel locally, but even distances that should take minutes may take hours because of the internationally illegal checkpoints guarded by Israeli
    soldiers who deliberately hold up and humiliate the civilians passing (agonisingly) slowly through.

    The soldiers find this work boring and take out their frustrations on the civilians in many ways. Your very existence in this land, where you and your ancestors were born, is already being treated as a threat by the soldiers: the ideological paranoia with which they have been brought up, and their mostly suppressed feelings of powerlessness, sadness and rage about relatively infrequent and small scale retaliatory violence by Palestinians, lead them to hate and fear the Christian and Muslim Arab population as a whole.

    In this situation, any expression of anger (even in the form of nonviolent resistance) by you at the outrageous, unjust and irrational behaviour of the soldiers will be treated as a heightened threat: their response will likely be violent. Any expression of distress will be treated with a lack of empathy or outright disgust. Some soldiers will develop an addiction to controlling and humiliating people, feeling that this gives them ‘power’, although it is not power over anything that genuinely improves their lives.

    In essence, the soldiers will not allow you to communicate with them sensibly, via your feelings of anger and distress, about the real and unjust consequences of their actions. They do not ‘care’.
    Imagine you are a child as young as six years old being electro shocked by psychiatrists and psych nurses- You scream and cry and make it abundantly clear that they are harming you physically and causing you intense fear but they hold you down and proceed regardless.

    They repeat the process over many days and weeks, damaging your brain and gradually eradicating parts of your memory, and demanding that you show signs of being ‘happy’. Any sensible emotional response to this physical torture is seen as a sign that there is something wrong with you that requires further electrocution. The psychiatrists and nurses will not allow you to sensibly communicate with them, via your feelings of terror and misery, about the real and destructive consequences of their actions. They do not ‘care’.

    Imagine you are Christina Schumacher who was recently ‘involuntarily treated’ (i.e. incarcerated against her will and expected to take medications that would drug her into insensibility) when she was suffering extreme grief having just learned that her son had been strangled to death
    by her estranged husband, who then killed himself. Her therapist and that person’s seniors had decided to lock her up prior to even interviewing her, they were so terrified of allowing her to feel her natural emotional reactions to the trauma. So she suffered without emotional support for
    five and a half weeks, in the company of severely psychotic people who were also failing to receive treatment that helped them.

    She eventually received legal support that helped her secure her release. Her fury about
    how she had been treated was but will the psychiatrists and family members who abused her hear her anger as a reasonable communication about their violent and unnecessary behaviour? Or will they see this anger as ‘threatening’ because all anger scares them, regardless of whether or not it is justified? Will they have the capacity to ‘care’?

    Is there any child who has not frequently had their feelings of fear, anger, pain and sadness ignored, trivialised, criminalised or pathologised by the adults around them? Is there any child who has not learned to be afraid of these feelings (and many others) as a result? If you are wondering why the soldiers and psychiatric personnel in my above examples lack empathy how is it that they can be so cruel and uncaring? The answer is clear. They have been frightened out of feeling their own emotions, and trusting and valuing these emotions, first as children, then
    further as part of their ‘professional’ training. How can anyone empathise with another person’s feelings if they are terrified to feel their own? If they are too afraid to feel the fear that lets them know when they are genuinely under threat, and the anger that would help them stand up
    against the people who have lied to and abused them (generally their parents, teachers, politicians and superiors), how could they value another person’s fear and anger as valid communication?

    What can we do if abusers will not (or, more accurately, cannot) listen to us, because they are too afraid? They may have the physical power to make us suffer, but it is crucial that we do not internalise their abuse of us, and that we act to reverse any internalisation that has already taken
    place.

    Healing and a return to selfhood happen when a person listens to their own feelings, including the fear that they should not listen to and trust their own feelings. If you can find someone who is not afraid to allow you to feel who can sit with you, paying quiet attention while you feel this will help to reassure you and reverse the lesson of emotional suppression you have been taught. If there is no-one available to listen calmly and quietly, then find an undisturbed
    space and listen to yourself. Your feelings care about you and are trying to communicate the truth about who and how you really are.

    Feeling emotions is not always fun, and takes considerable physical energy, but your emotions are your power to be your real self, and allow you to be an active and resilient player in your own life, rather than a powerless victim of circumstance.

    A person who does not trust or value their own feelings is no longer truly alive:  they have a delusional, socially constructed identity that stands in for their real self and that steadfastly refuses (out of fear) to communicate with the real world. Such a person becomes obsessed with and addicted to controlling things that trigger their emotions: most often, these ‘things’ are other people’s emotions and behaviours.

    To break the cycle of emotional suppression, and the insane destructive behaviours that are caused by this, we have to find the courage to care about and listen to our own feelings.

    McKone is a nonviolent activist and independent psych researcher from Australia. She works with her life-partner and co-activist/researcher Robert J. Burrowes. Her articles on psychological, philosophical and political nonviolence can be found at: http://anitamckone.wordpress.com. Her email address is     flametree@riseup.ne

  • Play of emotions

    Play of emotions

    As the play Call For Me My Osheni hit the stage last week in Lagos, the emotions it emitted drove home the real dangers in the HIV/AIDS pandemic in the society. Edozie Udeze who watched the play writes on the essence of this three-man play that epitomises hope and simultaneously passes across a great warning to all

     

    One of the plays that featured in the just concluded Festival of Nigerian Plays (FESTINA) Call For Me My Osheni, made deep impressions on theatre enthusiasts. It was one play that drew on the emotions of people, opening both old and new wounds on the seriousness of the HIV/AIDS scourge and how it has eaten deep into psyche of the society.

    A three-man play, Call For Me My Osheni, told the story of a young lady who was in love with Osheni. Osheni himself did not know where his woman caught the disease from. In-between the time, however, her mind was tilting between still being in love with Osheni or going it alone with her sister, who was always there for her.

    All her relations had abandoned her in the hospital where it was her faith in her Creator that could lead her somewhere. But Osheni did not want to disappoint or abandon her. Played by Chukwu Mary, the HIV/AIDS patient showed in totality the trauma of a society where love is often a scarce commodity.

    The patient needed to be shown unconditional love by those who were in the position to do so. This was why the play was limited to three characters. So from time to time, she would ask her sister to go fetch Osheni for her. His presence was all she needed to be comforted while she waited for her departure from this earth.

    And so with sweet and well-coded poetic words from Osheni, laced with total assurance of his love, she was able to cope. While on her sick bed, not even a medical doctor was seen on stage attending to her. Whether that was deliberate or not, not too many people were comfortable with that obvious and serious omission in the play. This was somewhat absurd.

    But the truth of the matter is that the Nigerian society is yet to come to terms with the depth of HIV/AIDS and how to properly cater for carriers when the going become too unbearable. The play was good in engaging the issue from a very emotive perspective. Done in couched language, and laced with the subtlety of inferred thoughts and deductions, the playwright equally employed the technique of a physician to hack into the psyche of the people.

    Being a medical doctor, Seyi Adigun, the playwright, used the play to challenge and address the society on their indifference towards the scourge. “This is a trialogue that epitomises hope and simultaneously passes across a great warning and flag of caution. It is to show us that love should be at the heart of the society and it has to be shown where it is most desired,” Adigun explained.

    The hospital environment was real and the medical terms employed were apt. Except however, that the drip which was perpetually attached to the patient, was never changed or checked by any medical personnel. Nonetheless, the message was apparently clear: The role of relations in a situation as precarious as it was in the play needed to be looked into by those in the position to do so. A person with the scourge shouldn’t be neglected or abandoned to his/her fate.

    The Arojah Royal Theatre group that presented the play is based in Abuja. As members of the National Association of Nigerian Theatre Arts Practitioners (NANTAP), the outfit has been at the forefront of the promotion and projection of stage plays, dances and dramas since 2007. The group also teaches young artistes the rudiments of the art and how to grow up making money from the profession.

    Arojah has been committed to the ideals of theatre in Abuja and this was why the founders chose to present a drama that dwelt on the soul of the nation. As the issue of HIV/AIDS rages on, it is the responsibility of those who really care to make it known to the people.