Tag: father

  • A father’s dilemma

    I never planned getting a mistress or having children outside but my situation at home contributed significantly to it. You see, my wife has not been able to give birth to a child since our marriage about twelve years ago. We have tried everything including tests, drugs, massages and other methods. But no issue, pregnancy not even a miscarriage.

    For years, I was worried about my childless state. Most of my mates who were married like me all had kids. I felt incomplete as a man, that there was something wrong with me. That was until something happened about four years ago that changed my situation. My wife’s young cousin, Diane came to stay with us while searching for a job after her youth service programme.

    She had been with us for six months when I got a job for her in the company where I worked.

    With hindsight, maybe, I should not have done that because working in the same environment invariably brought us close. Much closer than we should have been as in-laws. The truth is I had admired Diane for sometime, even before she came to live with us. She had the kind of looks I liked- tall, slim with a fantastic figure and she carried herself so well.

    But I controlled my attraction because of my wife whom I loved dearly. Unknown to me, Diane also liked me. I found out one day after we had closed from work and were heading home together. The traffic that day was especially heavy on the third main land bridge so we decided to hang out at an eatery on the Island till the traffic had reduced.

    Perhaps, emboldened by the alcohol she had taken, Diane opened up, confessing how she had liked me for long.

    “I’ve been into you for so long, Mike. Before you even married Bara,” she confessed. She took my hand across the table filled with drinks and held it for a while.

    After that day, we began a relationship that has lasted nearly four years now. A year after we started dating, she gave birth to a set of twin boys for me. You can imagine my joy when the twins were born- this was a man who had been looking for a child for years being blessed with twins! It was a happy time for me. The only snag was my wife, Bara. Initially, I did not tell her about the boys until they were about a year old. As expected, she was very angry with me over my relationship with her sister.

    “Any other person would have been tolerable because of the children. But how could you betray me with Diane, my own sister?” she stated furiously. In all our years of marriage, I had never seen my wife so angry. She called me all kinds of names including ‘a womaniser who can’t control his libido, sleeping around like a dog in heat!’ That day, she threatened to leave me if I did not cut off all contacts with Diane. That was an impossible thing to ask as she was the mother of my babies. How could I leave her? What would happen to my children that God had blessed me with after so many years of waiting for the fruit of the womb? Who would look after them

    Defying Bara

    I paid no heed to my wife’s words and continued to see Diane and my children. I rented an apartment for her at another side of town and I shuttled between my two homes. I knew my wife was not happy that I was still seeing Diane despite her threats, but there was nothing I could do about that. All my family members especially my mother were happy with the birth of my boys. In fact, for the first six months after their birth, she relocated to the city from our village in Delta State just to be with her grandsons. She stayed with Diane and the babies and was very helpful with caring for them. Diane’s mother was dead so she had no one to rely on except my mother. They both got along very well and I was happy to see two of the important women in my life so close.

    Back home with my wife, things were not going too well for us. Bara was cold to me most of the time, especially when she suspected I had just returned from visiting Diane and the children. I tried to be the loving husband I had always been to her. I ensured I provided for her and never deprived her of my love so she would not feel that I was neglecting her because of my other woman.

    Things continued that way for a while. My boys were growing fast and it gave me so much joy to see them turn from little, helpless babies into active toddlers running around the house and causing so much noise and havoc. My best times were spent with them, and most days I was always reluctant to leave them and return home to my wife. At a point, I nursed the idea of bringing Diane and the children home so we could all live together as one family. Afterall, my father had married two wives and he had managed his home well till his death, I had reasoned. But when I thought of my wife’s reaction to such a move, I jettisoned the idea.

    Then five months ago, Diane announced she was pregnant again. I was happy at the news and looked forward to this new addition to the family. The only problem is this: Diane is insisting that I marry her and move in with her as a live in husband before her delivery.

    “I’m tired of seeing you a few days a week. I miss you all the time. The children also miss you. I need you now especially in my condition,” she stated, patting her swollen tummy.

    I promised to visit her more and spend more time with her and the children but she was not buying that.

    “I want a full time husband not a visiting husband!” she insisted.

    I did not mind the idea of being with Diane and my kids full time as I loved them so much. But what about my wife? Moving in with Diane would mean abandoning Bara. I still loved my wife and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She is important to me having been with me through thick and thin. On the other hand, Diane, my sons and the unborn child were equally important. Diane is already threatening to cut me off from the children if I did not do as she wants. Knowing the kind of woman she is, I know it’s no empty threat. What if she runs away with my children and I never get to see them again?

    That is my dilemma. I want to be with my children and their mother but doing so would be at the expense of my marriage. I don’t want to divorce my wife. At the same time, I don’t want to lose my children who mean the whole world to me and make me feel so proud.

    So, what shall I do now? I’m really confused. I need your advice, please.

    Should Mike divorce his wife so he can be with his children and baby mama or let the children go and stick with his wife? Readers’ feedback welcome!

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

  • I am ready to continue where my father stopped – Akure regent

    Barely one month after Oba Adebiyi Adesida, Afunbiowo II, Deji of Akure joined his ancestors, his first daughter Princess Adetutu Adesida-Dike has ascended the throne as regent promising to continue from where her father stopped.

    In line with the tradition of Akure kingdom, there must not be a vacuum after the passage of the town’s monarch and it is customary that the first daughter of the departed, Deji of Akure must ascend the throne.

    To this end, Princess Adetutu Adesida-Dike had to leave her job in United States of America (USA) to answer the call of her people to become the regent of Akure kingdom following the death of her father on December 1, 2013.

    The princess, a licensed Pharmacist in Huston, Texas, America told The Nation that she is ready to continue from where her late father, Oba Adesida stopped.

    In her first assignment in the palace, the new regent expressed her commitment to working with the state government in the development of the state capital.

    “By the grace of God, we will continue to develop Akure, to build up the people of Akure kingdom and bring advancement to all and for Akure to be known worldwide”, the regent said.

    Adesida-Dike equally advised the kingmakers to be meticulous in choosing a new king for the town.

    She said, “I will plead with the kingmakers to seek for God face first before embarking on the selection of a new monarch for the ancient community. With the help of God, the kingmakers will be able to choose the right person that will be the next Deji for Akure”.

    When asked if she knows the appropriate time when a new king will be installed, the regent said it is only God who knows the time when a new king would emerge.

    Speaking on her decision to leave her base in the United States to take up position in Nigeria as a traditional ruler, Adesida-Dike said, “the regency cannot disturb my role as a mother, wife and as a career woman. I have taken a leave of absence from my place of work in US, my husband knew that I am a princess before he agreed to marry me and he also knows that anytime my father died as a king, I have to assume this position, so there won’t be any problem. I know this is a duty I have to perform, so I have called on my God to help me to succeed in this journey. I also pray that God should help the kingmakers to choose the right person to be the next king of the town.”

    The regent however called for the support of the people of Akure and the state government in order to move the town forward.

  • A father’s joy

    Former Benue State Governor George Akume gave out his daughter, Josephine’s hand in marriage to Lt. Alexander Edet from Akwa Ibom State. The Holy Matrimony took place at St. Christopher’s Catholic Parish, Wannune near Makurdi, the Benue State capital, last Saturday, reports UJA EMMANUEL

    Wannune? Where is that, you will be tempted to ask. It is the hometown of former Benue State Governor George Akume and the headquarters of Tarka Local Government Area. The town throbbed with life last Saturday as Akume, now a Senator representing Benue Northwest District, gave out his daughter, Josephine’s hand in marriage to Sub. Lt Alexander Edet from Akwa Ibom State.

    The wedding took place at St. Christopher’s Catholic Parish, on top of a small hill in the village, where Akume’s political associates gathered to share in the couple’s joy.

    The clerics, led by the Bishop of Gboko Catholic Diocese, Bishop William Avernya, were assisted by 34 other priests from Makurdi and Otukpo Catholic Dioceses.

    The wedding, coming five days after New Peoples Democratic Party (nPDP) governors merged with the All Progressives Congress (APC) in Abuja, served as a platform for the further consummation of the merger.

    When news spread of the presence of the political heavyweights in town, many rushed to Wannune to catch a glimpse of them.

    The wedding shook Makurdi, the Benue State capital, till evening when most of the guests left. Wannune is on the Makurdi-Gboko Federal Highway and it is about 25 minutes drive from the state capital.

    First to arrive in the church was Kano State Governor Rabiu Kwankwaso, followed by former Vice President Abubakar Atiku.

    Next came the Senate President’s representative Senator Barnabas Gemade; Ekiti State Governor Kayode Fayemi and his Sokoto counterpart Aliyu Wamakko arrived.

    Others were Speaker, Aminu Tambuwal; former Head of State Gen. Muhammadu Buhari; former Borno State Governor Ali Modu Sheriff and Senator Nazir Mohammed.

    After Alexander and Josephine become man and wife, they and their parents signed the marriage register.

    The church choir entertained the congregation before the couple was led out in style.

    Some Navy officers formed a long row of crossed swords in honour of the couple. As Alexander and Josephine cat walked under the row, the officers shielded them.

    Photographers took some shots before the train left for the reception at Akume’s Hill Top Summer Villa.

    At the reception, Tambuwal, the special guest of honour, urged the couple to emulate their parents.

    Tambuwal described Senator Akume as a principled politician and a gift from the Tiv Community to the country.

    He said Akume was a credible politician who could be relied upon for greater responsibility.

    Former Kebbi State Governor Senator Adamu Aliero urged the couple to respect each other.

    According to him, the bride’s father has touched the lives of many Nigerians, hence, the large turn out.

    He said Akume had built bridges of understanding across political and cultural divides.

    Also at the event were Senators Ahmed Lawal, Yobe State; Abu Ibrahim (Kastina); Aisha Alhassan (Taraba) and Solomon Ewuga (Nasarawa).

    Former Kogi State Governor Prince Abubakar Audu; Hons Emmanuel Jime; John Dyeg and Chile Igbawua; Chief Judge of Benue State Justice Iorhen Hwande; immediate Past chief Judge Justice Terna Puuse and President of the Customary Court of Appeal, Justice Augustine Utsaha.

    The 10 APC lawmakers in the Benue State House of Assembly were led by Hon Benjamin Adanyi representing Makurdi south.

  • I wish I knew my father —Shan George

    I wish I knew my father —Shan George

    KNOWN for her down-to-earth and unpretentious persona, sultry actress Shan George in a recent interview, without mincing words, opened up on the pain of not knowing her father. The actress while trying to relive some of her childhood memories became quite emotional. She said, “It was quite enjoyable. It’s just that I wish I knew my father. I’m the only child of my mother, and my father was a white man. My mum is a very wonderful person, but I guess there is always going to be that part of me that keeps wondering who my father is. I tried several years to trace his whereabouts to no avail. While in search of him, I once travelled to where he used to work then, Turner’s Asbestos in Enugu.

    “The company consulted their files and brought out his old address in Manchester. Consequently, I travelled to Manchester in search of the man that fathered me. But my mission was not accomplished. I even had to cross-check phone books and called about 100 phone numbers, all in the bid to trace his whereabouts. One question I asked each time I called any of the numbers was whether any member of his family ever visited Africa or Nigeria in particular. I gave up hope of meeting my father at the age of 35.”

    The star actress also spoke on her movie roles and how they are far from the real Shan George.

  • A father’s uncommon sacrifice 

    Sometime last year, I wrote about how important it is to have more people willing to share information with security agencies in the fight against violence and terror in the northern part of the country. In that piece entitled: “Boko Haram and the North”, my argument was that one crucial missing factor that had been hindering the fight against violence, especially the sort of organised terror for which groups like the Boko Haram (and now, also, Ansaru) have become notorious for championing in the North, is the insistence of those with valuable knowledge about these groups to consciously shield their relatives and friends purely on filial affinity. And as many commentators have noted, such primordial considerations need to change in the interest of peace and the poor, suffering people of the North.

    So when, recently, I read the story of an anonymous, 60-year old man, of Kanuri descent, in Borno State, who reportedly handed over his son to members of the Joint Task Force, JTF, who are currently battling to flush out Boko Haram and other insurgents who have long held Borno State and many parts of the north-east of Nigeria by the jugular, I was, perhaps, like many other Nigerians, very impressed and hopeful that, at least, we are getting somewhere.

    According to the widely-publicised report, a businessman in the Hausari Ward of Maiduguri, the Borno State capital, was said to have alleged that his son, a member of the deadly group, had participated in the killing of several people in Maiduguri and subsequently handed over the son to men of the JTF in his ward. The son reportedly left the parent’s home a few months ago only to suddenly return home recently to plead with his father to allow him refuge from the current massive onslaught of security forces against the Boko Haram in Borno State, which is now under a state of emergency, alongside Yobe and Adamawa states.

    Following the crackdown by the JTF, a fallout of the emergency declaration by President Goodluck Jonathan on May 14, this year, members of the Boko Haram have been running for cover. Apart from the JTF, a group of youths under the aegis of Community Vigilance Group is also on the prowl, hunting down Boko Haram members, and in many instances, handling down instant death sentences in the form of jungle justice to whoever is caught. It is in the wake of these counter-insurgency moves that the young man reportedly ran back to the bosom of his father and confessed to how he had joined hands to kill people and loot banks, pleading with his father to shield him. But he met a brick wall as his principled father reportedly turned him down flatly. The old man was said to have told his son that it was against his conscience to keep a roving assassin, an armed robber and such a big security threat in his home. Pronto, the man approached the office of the JTF and told them of the criminal involvement of his son in serial killings and robbery. Some soldiers followed him home to arrest the son, but as fate would have it, the son tried to escape arrest and was shot dead.

    Remarkably, in an affirmative demonstration of his unflagging will to live on the right path, not only did the man turn over his son to the authorities, he also had the fortitude to resist touching the ill-gotten wealth his son reportedly starched away near their home. The young man had revealed to the father and the family the location of two cars and millions of naira he had acquired from his association with Boko Haram’s activities. Impressively, the father declined to taint his Islamic faith by taking inheritance of assets he considers haram (forbidden).

    This is a remarkable story by all account. A story that, no doubt, demonstrates the true face of religious faith, the true face of Islam. It doubtlessly vindicates many of the moderate Muslims who have been trying to tell anyone that would listen that extremist groups like Boko Haram do not represent Islam. It is a story that is sure to add more volume to the voice of those Muslims whose voices have long been drowned out by the guns and bombs of radical, violence-oriented Muslim groups and individuals like Boko Haram and their members. It is difficult to properly account for how far this might go in convincing doubters that Islam has no place for the likes of Boko Haram but what a bold statement in vindication of those who have continuously argued in defence of Islamic extremism.

    Of course, this is not the first time a father would keep his paternal feeling from interfering with his judgment where terror and his son are concerned. In 2009, after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s failed attempt to detonate a bomb on a flight to Boston, Massachusetts, in the United States of America, it later emerged that his father had, prior to the botched attempt, warned the authorities about the increasing extremist leaning of his son. Today, Abdulmutallab, has come to be known notoriously worldwide as “the underwear bomber” now in jail in America. One staggering discovery, all through the renewed offensive against terror in the North-East in particular, is that the residents have been showing more bravery in exposing violent elements in their midst, even if these elements were family members. In many cases, the implications for the whistle blowers have been perilous. However, this un-named businessman’s case is without doubt at a different level. It is a heroic deed and sacrifice of highly uncommon extent for a parent to be so brave for the sake of his faith and the safety of others, to the detriment and even death of his own flesh and blood. This could rightly be christened: “A Brave Father’s Uncommon Sacrifice for Sanity”.

    Still, maybe we should afford ourselves the right to tinker our praise for the old man in question with a slight dose of ‘practical pessimism’ here, for a combination of factors might have been responsible for his decision. So, maybe, we can look at this man’s act in a slightly different light. In this regard, perhaps we can be a little cynical and play the devil’s advocate by arguing that he might have acted more in self-preservation – that time-tested, time-proven golden rule in human existence – knowing fully the potential dire consequences for his son and the burden that might put on members of the family. Now, is it totally implausible to think that the man was merely trying to save his own neck from his son by resorting to that course of action? Let’s look at it this way: in April this year, the son was said to have threatened to kill the father shortly before he (the son) bolted out of home. He only came back to appease his father when he realised that he could no longer take the heat the JTF, with the help of members of the Youth Vigilance Group, was dishing out to him and his fellow terrorists at Boko Haram’s training camps in Kirenoa and Sambisa games reserve forests of the state.

    Whatever the ‘permutation’, in the final analysis, especially in an increasingly materialistic 21st Century, when it seems that the values of altruism are becoming increasingly peripheral in the lives of many, we have to doff our hats to this brave man’s uncommon vote for faith, peace and sanity. Many people in his shoes in the past might have been tempted to look the other way and cover up their wards’ misdeeds for some selfish interests. Maybe, we should ask: How many Nigerians can go the whole hog to expose the nefarious activities of their children or wards like this Kanuri businessman?

    If parents can put their feet down and dissuade their children from taking the easy route to sudden wealth and perdition, a greater percentage of the economic and social problems we now experience in Nigeria will be history.

     

  • 21-year-old man ‘kills’ father

    A 21-year-old man, Samuel Eyo Nsa, has allegedly hacked his 78-year-old father, Eyo Nsa, to death at Eseko village in Odukpani Local Government Area of Cross River State.

    It was gathered that Nsa allegedly killed his father for refusing to defend him after he was caught stealing a neighbour’s goat.

    A source said Samuel decided to celebrate the Children’s Day with a goat stolen from a neighbour, Otobong, with which he prepared pepper soup to entertain his friends.

    The source, who pleaded not to be named, went on: “When Otobong discovered that one of his goats was missing, he searched everywhere for it and someone told him that he saw Samuel carrying a goat.

    “Otobong went to Samuel’s father to report the matter and demanded payment for the goat.

    “Chief Nsa was tired of appearing in the village square to defend his son and paying fines for things he stole.

    “He told the owner of the goat to report the matter at the police station.”

    He added: “After Otobong left the house, Samuel, who was hiding behind the window listening to the discussion, suddenly stormed the living room, threatening his parents for not defending him.

    “His mother took to her heels and he attacked his father with a machete. He inflicted several machete cuts on the old man, who died on the spot.

    “Samuel attempted to escape as he fled into the bush but was apprehended by some youths and handed over to the Odukpani Police division.”

    He has been transferred to the State Police Headquarters in Calabar, where leaders of the Creek Town community, including his mother, described Samuel as a habitual criminal, who specialised in stealing domestic animals for consumption.

    His mother allegedly said her life would be in danger, if the boy was released.

    Police spokesman John Umoh said the suspect would be charged to court after investigation.

     

  • Father of many children

    Father of many children

    • Robert Edwards, test-tube baby pioneer, passes on

    The death, on April 10, of Professor Sir Robert Edwards, whose pioneering research into in-vitro fertilisation brought joy to millions of families around the world, marks the end of a significant phase of path-breaking scientific research.

    Working in an era when long-standing ethical and religious values had begun to clash with several aspects of cutting-edge science, Sir Edwards displayed the courage and understanding that were vital to getting others to buy into his vision. While he respected the objections of religious and other conservative groups, he repeatedly pointed out the unimpeachable motive which inspired him, namely the desire to ensure that couples that were childless could get offspring of their own.

    Today, the vision of Edwards and his co-pioneer, Dr. Patrick Steptoe has become magnificently manifest, as over four million children have been born as a result of their innovativeness and persistence. This is clearly a positive demonstration of the ways in which committed science can be of use to the advancement of society. In contrast to weapons research, for instance, in-vitro fertilisation seeks to provide hope instead of despair, and to bring life rather than death.

    It is gratifying to note that Edwards’ dogged commitment was ultimately rewarding to him on a personal level as well. In 2010, some four decades after stunning the world with his achievement, the Nobel Prize for Medicine was bestowed upon him. One year later, he was given a knighthood.

    There can be no doubt that the connection between science and society is a symbiotic one. At its most useful, science addresses itself to the solving of social problems in such a way that the overall quality of life is improved. However, in achieving this laudable goal, researchers often venture into uncharted waters, thereby sometimes arousing the opposition of society’s more conservative elements. This has certainly been the case in areas of medicine like stem-cell research, euthanasia and cloning, where strong disagreement has arisen on both the ethics and the likely consequences of such research.

    Differences of opinion cannot be avoided on these issues, but what is required is the civilised exchange of views in order to arrive at a workable consensus. Just as it would be wrong for the scientists to disparage disagreement with their research aims, so would it be inappropriate for such research to be denigrated out of hand. History has shown that a great deal of opposition to scientific advance was misinformed, and that society has largely been better off as a result of such advances, especially those in medicine. Yet, given the rapid pace of scientific research and the significance it poses for the very foundations of society, it is unwise to disregard those who harbour genuine fears about the ethical and other consequences of such enquiry.

    As a member of the global community, Nigeria has been a beneficiary of the latest advances in scientific research. In-vitro fertilisation, which used to be undertaken abroad in conditions of secrecy, is now available in the country as a relatively routine procedure. There also appears to be increasing utilisation of cosmetic surgery, organ transplants and other operations which were also initially controversial.

    In the light of these developments, Nigeria must begin to engage with medical research issues in a much more considered way. An impending ban on human cloning by the Senate, for example, ought to have been taken only after exhaustive public discussion and expert commentary. It makes no sense to act in knee-jerk fashion, only to have to backtrack in the future. Indeed, given the penchant for the country’s politicians to rush overseas for medical treatment, it would have been expected that they should have seen the imperative of ensuring that Nigeria is properly positioned at the cutting-edge of medical research.

     

  • Obasanjo: why I didn’t know my father had tribal marks

    Former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, yesterday broke his silence on his late father, saying for many years he could neither tell how the man looked nor did he know that his father had the Owu “tribal marks” on both cheeks.

    Obasanjo, who attributed the phenomenon to some of the inhibiting African cultural practices, which present the youth as people that should be seen and not heard, said he could not look at his father in the face when growing up because African culture made him to turn his face downward whenever his father was talking.

    The Balogun of Owu Kingdom, who spoke at the Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library (OOPL), Abeokuta, the Ogun State capital, during a Regional Summit on ‘Women and Youth in the Promotion of Cultural Security and Development in Africa’, added that he “suffered” for many years on account of the restrictive cultural practices.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • One mistake my father  made which I’ll avoid- Rotimi Williams’ eldest son Ladi

    One mistake my father made which I’ll avoid- Rotimi Williams’ eldest son Ladi

    Chief Ladi Williams needs no introduction. He is not only a Senior Advocate of Nigeria, he is the eldest son of the late legal luminary, Chief FRA Williams, popularly called Timi the Law during his lifetime. In this interview with INNOCENT DURU, he speaks about the challenges facing the judiciary in the country and the mistake he said his father made in his career as a lawyer which he would never repeat, among other issues. Excerpts:

    Kindly tell us more about yourself?

    I am the eldest son of late Chief FRA Williams. I have my law firm here in Victoria Island where I practise with my daughter and son. I have been in practice for 40 years. This is my 41st year and I have been a member of the inner bar, that is the body of senior advocates for approximately 18 years .

    Your father was a lawyer, you are a lawyer and your children are lawyers. What is in this profession that has been attracting your whole family into it?

    My grandfather was also a lawyer. Well, my grandfather was a lawyer because his own father who was a businessman wanted him to be a lawyer because he found that in business, he needed a good lawyer. The businessman’s best friend is his lawyer. These days, I dare say that lawyers are best friends of civil servants and politicians. To that extent, he must have felt that the best thing to do was to ensure that his own son read Law so that he could assist in furthering his business. He was a shipping magnate in those days. So he went to read Law in London that time and I think he was called in 1927. My father naturally took after him. I believe that he could have done Engineering or Mathematics but somehow, he chose to follow his father’s footstep.

    In my own case, I started following my father to court when I was age 12. I recall one occasion in Ibadan soon after he was made a Queen’s counsel, I put on his gown, which was very long as you can imagine and his wig, which was too big for my head and I was admiring myself in the mirror in his dressing room only for my mother and my father to come in suddenly into the dressing room and they saw me. Immediately they saw me, I got scared and I quickly removed the wig and the gown but my father said I should put it back on, that he had blessed that day and that by the special grace of God, that I would wear the wig and the silk gown on my own merit and I have done just that.

    When I was called to the inner bar, it was indeed the first time ever in the legal history of Nigeria that father and son who are SANs would appear in court together. Thereafter, my two children started following me to court as teenagers whenever they came home on vacation. They are qualified now. My eldest child is about 15 or 16 years at the bar and my son is about 12 years at the bar. It has been a family tradition. Already, when I look at my grandson, I used to tell his father, who is a lawyer, that the shape of his head looks like that somebody who is going to study Law (general laughter). On one occasion when I came back from the court, I put my wig on his head and he was looking at the mirror and I said to myself that history is repeating itself.

    Your father was a very successful lawyer no doubt. What are the virtues you took from him and what were the mistakes he made that you would not want to venture into in life?

    I think the major mistake he made was to have gone into politics. I think that you should either be 100 percent a politician or 100 percent a lawyer. I don’t see myself going into politics. That was the major mistake that he made that I don’t intend to make. He was a very intelligent man; an intellectual. Anytime he prepared a document, let it be 30 or 50 years, he would remember. He didn’t forget faces, events or documents that he prepared himself. He remembered everything to the letter and to the very end, he was never senile. A few months before he died, myself and Mr Eddy Chukwurah had to go to England to seek his opinion on a matter that was to come up in the Supreme Court, which I had to take because he was too ill to take it. Then on another occasion, the former Attorney-General of Lagos State, my learned colleague in the inner bar, Prof. Osibajo, also had cause to fly to London to see him on this local government matter between former Lagos State Governor, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, and former President Olusegun Obasanjo, over certain areas which were designated as local government areas and the withholding of funds. Again, this was a few months before he died. It all happened while he was receiving treatment in London and was able to attend to Prof. Osibajo adequately.

    The matter that Mr Chukwurah and myself went for was a case involving Ikeja Hotels and Mask, a shipping company. These were complicated matters and as at that time, he was 84, going to 85 years and he had the mental agility of a 30 year- old in terms of grasping problems and giving us illuminating suggestions and ideas. He looked at the briefs we wrote and gave us his suggestions, which we incorporated. Those were the qualities that he had but those qualities were ill-suited to being a politician. These were the qualities that were needed to be a good lawyer. That was why even when he was in the Western Nigeria as the first ever attorney-general, he never used to contest elections. He entered the Lower House through the House of Chiefs. The chieftaincy title that he had at that time, the Apesin of Itoko in Abeokuta, was what enabled him to enter into the Western Regional House of Assembly. He did not get in by election and that was why when there was campaign in those days, the famous Ibadan leader, the late irrepressible Adegoke Adelabu, used to refer to him as a ‘minister without constituency’. He was in the house but he did not contest elections. To that extent, I would say he ought not to have gone into politics at all.

    If you look at it now, many lawyers are venturing into politics; so why would you say it was a mistake for him to have ventured into it?

    That is not quite correct. Lawyers appear for politicians but it does not mean that they belong to their parties. For example, I have appeared for ACN before when I appeared for Mrs Abike Dabiri-Arewa. I have appeared for PDP before when I appeared for Engineer Segun Oni. I have appeared for ANPP in Sokoto State when I appeared for Alhaji Mohammed Ishau. These are major political parties. Once you mention ACN, PDP, ANPP, CPC is relatively new, so you have more or less covered the ground. That does not make me a member of those three parties. I am in a position to take brief from any one of them without being a part of them. Senior lawyers today are not really politicians. They are states men and they will take cases from anybody. Take my very good brother, Wole Olanipekun (SAN), he appeared for President Goodluck Jonathan in one of the elections. Prior to that, he appeared for the late President Umaru Yar’Adua in an election petition; yet he appeared for my good brother, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, when he was arraigned by the Code of Conduct Bureau. If there is any opposition that PDP has today, it is the ACN. I know that he is not a card-carrying member of the PDP or the ACN, he takes cases as they come irrespective of the parties they belong to and gives his best to all of them. I do the same too.

    You have a very tight schedule as a legal practitioner. How do you relax ?

    I start work by 7.30 am and I close at 7.30pm from Monday to Friday. On weekends, I take it a bit more leisurely by starting at 9am and by noon, I close. Thereafter, I watch the English Premier League matches, if there is any. I watch the African plays and read a few non- legal books. If I am feeling a bit energetic, I call my grandchildren to come and trouble me a bit. When their trouble becomes too much, I would call their parents to come and take them away (general laughter). That is how I spend my weekend. Then, I like taking trips abroad on vacation twice a year. I support Manchester United because I like their pattern of play. The coach, Sir Alex Ferguson, will take a player from another club and mould him in such a way that he would fit into the pattern of play of the club. Take someone like Van Persie, who he picked from Arsenal and brought him to Manchester United and he is now doing far better with Man U than when he was at Arsenal. I don’t know what would happen to Man U when Ferguson leaves.

    Why is it that the law is hard on poor criminals and lenient with rich criminals? Does it have to do with the age of the Penal Code?

    The law has to be reviewed but it does not have to do with common man or no common man. At the time the Penal Code which is the law that is operational in the North was promulgated I doubt if anybody used to talk about billions in our judicial lexicon. When you can hardly count N100, 000, you are now talking of billions. You don’t talk about such kind of money before independence or shortly after independence. It came into being with the discovery of oil which is now turning to be a curse on us. Nobody can ever have the foresight at the time that the law was promulgated, that there would be people that would be in position to manipulate the system and take this amount of money. The man confessed and it is not a matter of ‘you are innocent until proven guilty’. There has to be special legislation and the EFCC statute is a good starting point. This is not really money laundering per se. I don’t think he was charged for money laundering. I think he was charged for conversion of police pension fund to his own use. That was what the EFCC charged him with. The judge I believe can amend the charge in some cases and say that no, conversion carries a relatively more lenient punishment, I will regard the charge as a theft because you have taken money which does not belong to you with the intention of permanently depriving another of it. That will now bring the charges to the arena of theft which is very serious. That one can carry seven years, I believe. The judge can do that but he did not do that. If he did not do so, you can’t blame him because he had the discretion not to do so. That is why I have said ‘go to the Court of Appeal and make your complaint there’. There is no point lambasting the judge in the media.

    Let us look at the issue of plea bargaining, which has become a quick way out for people indicted for corruption. Is it in our laws and are we doing it the right way?

    Plea bargaining is really an invention of the United States and Britain, to some extent. It is meant to shorten trial, save public funds and make the administration of justice less cumbersome when you don’t go the whole hog of the trial. If you take the cases of Mrs Ibru, she simply gave up fighting and threw in the towel. She was given about six months or one year and a lot of properties were taken from her. She was sentenced and regrettably, that made her an ex-convict. If she had fought the case, may she would have had a chance, I don’t know. Compare it with the case of Akingbola who is being tried presently, he may or may not get off. That is why it is said that the law is an ass. If he gets off in the High Court it is left to the EFCC to appeal.

    These are two scenarios and you can see how long it has taken for the trial and it is still very much on. By the time it is fought in the Court of Appeal, the Supreme Court, even the present administration would have been history. The cost to the public is phenomenal. We don’t have a formal provision for plea bargaining in our criminal procedure. The National Assembly is yet to make a legislation prescribing plea bargaining in our criminal proceedings. Until that is done, I am a little bit uncomfortable that we are actually doing it before it is formalised. Well it is up to the discretion of the prosecutor and the accused person to negotiate. The judge can only go by what presented before him. He is to determine the issue of liability, issues of crime and punishment. He cannot meddle in the negotiation between the accused and the prosecutor.

    Many Nigerians obviously have lost confidence in the judiciary. Do you subscribe to the fact that the judiciary has not helped in the fight against corruption?

    The bulk of our judicial personnel are doing a very good job in an atmosphere that is not too conducive. So, I will not make a blanket statement condemning all judges. The problem is that the bad ones are giving the good ones a very bad name. The public perception of the judiciary today is very embarrassing to many of us who are legal practitioners. There is no point trying to convince ordinary men and women in the public that the judiciary is not that bad because they have a mind set of justices. These bad eggs have given the majority bad reputation and we now have a new Chief Justice of the Federation who has come into that seat on a very strong perception of a good moral and judicial character. The nation is looking at her. The first three months was honeymoon in the sense that it was nice to see a woman as the head of the judiciary.

    I too have a daughter, so I am on the side of women. She now has to show that what a man can do, a woman can do better. Let her go back to the days of Justice Muhammed Uwais when if you misbehave as a judge you are out. If you go beyond your code of conduct, you are out. Since Justice Uwais left office, I can’t remember really of any judge being disciplined by way of removal from office whether by retirement or by expulsion. I don’t recall any of the succeeding Chief Justices doing that. Certainly the last Chief Justice did nothing about disciplining of judges. He did absolutely nothing. The one before him was Justice Katsina-Alu, I don’t recall any judge being disciplined for anything whatsoever. Before then was Justice Kutigi, a perfect gentleman, again I don’t recall any judge being disciplined. Before him was Justice Belgore. He did not stay for too long so presumably you can say that had he stayed longer, maybe he would have followed the foot step of his predecessor. But Justice Uwais did a lot when he was there for the judiciary.

    Unfortunately, successive chief justices have not taken step whatsoever to clamp down on the few bad eggs that are destroying the judiciary. We are waiting to see what the Chief Justice Aloma Muktar will do. The public is watching, the entire nation is watching. We (the general public) still hold the belief that when she gets the rhythm of movement, we should be able to see a very serious decision being taken about justices who misbehave. For those that are doing their work well, you don’t hear about them, because they are quiet, they follow the law without fear or favour. Even amongst us lawyers that are in practice, we know when a case goes before justice XYZ, we would say ‘that judge, he is as straight as a ruler. You can’t compromise him or her. If you dare to compromise him or her, she might throw the Bible at you or something like that’. Again we also have some that we would say ‘ah that one make we go settle am o (go and settle him)’ because he is very flexible. Lawyers are only afraid to speak out because they believe that if they do speak out, judges would gang up against them and they would be losing all their cases and nobody would want to brief them because they would say that lawyer is not popular with judges because he has been criticising them. This is why majority of senior lawyers don’t want to talk. That is why it now behooves the leaders of the judiciary to do something.

    When you talk about judicial reforms, what changes would you effect if given the opportunity?

    That is a very good question because it is a question that has agitated the minds of those of us who are in practice. The first thing I will do is to address the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court. I will limit their jurisdiction to constitutional cases, criminal cases that carry death penalties or criminal cases that carry more than five years imprisonment. A matter such as divorce has no business with the Supreme Court. A matter such as probate has no business with the Supreme Court. It should suffice at the Court of Appeal because how many personnel do we have at the Supreme Court? I think the maximum is 15, 16 or 17 and they are taking appeals from all over the country. Today when you file an appeal in the Supreme Court, before it gets to be heard, I may be wrong but I am generally right, it cannot take less than six or seven years. There is a case which we filed, my father handled it, I handled it, thank God I am still alive but my daughter was the one that eventually went to argue it in the Supreme Court. Three generations. Meanwhile, virtually all the parties are dead.

    The case was started by a business man, Alhaji Tijani Yagasua, he died in the course of the case. Then Chief TS Benson was a party in the case. He is dead, Chief and Mrs Ayida were parties in the case, Mrs Ayida is no more. Chief Williams died seven years ago. The case is about 15 years old and we are still having court judgment at the Supreme Court as at now. The Supreme Court may in its wisdom send it back for retrial. Which means we would start all over again. Let’s say the case is won, what benefit would have accrued to these claimants who are now dead? There is not need for procedural matters to go to the Supreme Court. Interlocutory appeals should stop at the Court of Appeal. Stay of proceedings should be given sparingly not for the asking. This is based on my experience.

    Now to the Court of Appeals, the country for administrative purposes is divided into six zones as you know. Each zone should have its own Court of Appeal so that all the matters in the zone will go to the Court of Appeal in capital of the zone. For example, if Enugu is the capital of the south east, Ibadan capital of the south west, Jos capital of north central (I am just giving you examples), etc, before I go on, it does not mean that no matter would go to the Supreme Court, for example, cases between two states, Federal Government and a state should go the Supreme Court. Another thing I will suggest is that for criminal cases carrying death penalties, we should use the jury system. For other cases, three justices should sit at the court so that the views expressed by members of the public that the judge is scared of the government will not be popular again because you have three of them; when you have three of them may be two of them would not be scared of government and it would carry more weight. At the regional Court of Appeal there should be five justices sitting at a time not three. As to the personnel anybody can sit anywhere in the Court of Appeal because of our constitution that says that there shall be no discrimination against anybody on account of where you come from. You can have a judge from Sokoto, a judge from Calabar, and another from Minna sitting in the regional Court of Appeal in the south eastern state, it doesn’t matter. What you don’t want to do is to man the Court of Appeal with justices from that state or zone alone.

  • ‘I want to  meet my  Nigerian  father’

    ‘I want to meet my Nigerian father’

    Lekan Otufodunrin writes on the search by a Canadian lady for her Nigerian father who along with the mother gave her up for adoption at birth.

     

    SHE was born in October 1975 in Ontario, Canada by a Nigerian father and a French-Canadian mother who, she has never met. At birth, Marianne Turner was given up for adoption by her parents who could not agree on marriage for her sake.

    Through the Adoption Registry in Canada, her mother was found and, although she initially agreed to meet with her, she changed her mind midway through the process and ended up declining to meet her daughter.

    Having failed to meet her mother, Marianne is desperately searching for her Nigerian father who ironically she doesn’t have any personal information about except for his country based on what she was told by her adoptive mother.

    “I am not asking for anything of my birth father. My only hope is to have the chance to meet my father so that I know where I come from” Marianne, a singer, dancer, songwrite and recreational athlete told The Nation Online in an email interview.

    In search of her roots

    “I’ve gone through life feeling rather rootless and floating, incomplete and desperately triggered by loss and change. I have worked hard to try and overcome these feelings but it’s not always easy. It’s like a blueprint on my soul.

    “At the present moment, sometimes I am very excited and feeling alive about the possibility of finding my birth father. I believe that anything is possible. It would be quite a bit to digest if I were to meet him, and perhaps even a line of new relatives. I am very curious to see if I have any physical features or personality traits in common,” she said.

    The scanty information she has about her father is that he would have been in Canada in the early/mid 1970s and would have completed two years of university training.

    She stated further: “My birth father moved to Canada to do some university training sometime in the mid 1970s, met my birth mother, and the young couple dated for eight months. Marriage was discussed but my birth mother did not feel their relationship was sufficiently deep and did not feel they should marry ‘for the sake of the baby.”

    “They broke off with each other since she made the decision to give me up for adoption. I’ve been told that my father returned to Nigeria at some point, and although I know that he completed two years of University. I am not sure if he would have completed his training in this amount of time. My only guess is that he came to Canada as early as 1972 or 1973. But this is only my assumption based on the likelihood that he was not in Canada before his training started” Marianne stated.

    While many would say that Marainne has had a very dynamic and interesting life despite being adopted at birth, she says “my heart and soul have never fully been at peace”. To connect with her African root, she has being in Kenya for about three months “to learn about the African culture in hopes that I might gain a stronger sense of my identity”. Her plan to visit Nigeria was aborted due to some challenges but still hopes to come over if she finds her father.

    Nostalgia

    Marianne is grateful for the very loving family that adopted her, the friends and experiences she has had, but expectedly it is hard for her to get over the feeling of not knowing her birth parents, particularly her father.

    “I have no idea what I’d say to the man that is my birth father, but I’d like to have the opportunity to experience that moment. I don’t think that it will necessarily undo the blueprint that has made me who I am today, but I do hope that it will bring me some peace and lessen what sometimes feels like an intense insatiability to feel connected to something.”

    Marianne can be contacted through her email: emmturner@gmail.com