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Tag: Fathers Day

  • First Lady emphasised role of fathers in national development

    First Lady emphasised role of fathers in national development

    First Lady Oluremi Tinubu has emphasised the vital role fathers play in shaping the future of families and the nation, calling for continued support for men to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers and role models.

    In a special message to mark Father’s Day 2025, the First Lady paid tribute to Nigerian fathers for their dedication to raising children who are “confident, responsible, and compassionate,” while also recognising men who serve in fatherhood roles through mentorship, guardianship, and leadership in their communities.

    “On this Father’s Day, I salute all Nigerian fathers who dedicate themselves to raising confident, responsible and compassionate children. 

    “I also celebrate the men who step into fatherhood roles through mentorship, guardianship, and community leadership,” she stated.

    Senator Tinubu stressed that creating an enabling environment for men to succeed in their fatherhood roles is critical to the well-being of families and the broader development of the country.

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    “Let us continue to give men the support and enabling environment to function effectively as fathers. When fathers are involved, families grow stronger, and so does the nation,” she said.

    Concluding her message, the First Lady offered prayers of strength, peace, and fulfillment for fathers across the country, acknowledging the weight of their responsibilities and the impact of their sacrifices.

    “God bless all fathers, strengthen you in your responsibilities, and reward your labour with peace, joy, and fulfilment,” she said.

  • Father’s Day and the essence of fatherhood

    Father’s Day and the essence of fatherhood

    Tomorrow, Sunday, June 16, is ‘Father’s Day 2024!’ Father’s Day, which began as a largely religious observance and recognized in some way dating back to the Middle Ages, is now celebrated in more than 111 countries, with the first of its kind on June 19, 1910.

    A traditional Roman Catholic holiday to celebrate fatherhood, Father’s Day is “celebrated on the third Sunday in June each year.” Fairly clearly, the day is meant to recall and recognize the endless efforts, initiatives and contributions of all the fathers around us. It is a mark of the kinship, affection, guidance and patience between fathers on the one hand and their families on the other.

    Fathers are the heads of, and the role models for the(ir) families. Even in psychological explanations, it is the father figures who set the moral tones of households. Whenever irritants attempt to test the loyalty of the household, it is the father who risks everything with truly solidified violations to display manly attributes.

    Etymologically, ‘husband’ also arose from the word ‘cultivate’, ‘tend’, or ‘nurture’. Therefore, the concept of husband refers to the ‘male head of a household’, the ‘manager’ and the ‘steward’. He is the ‘master of a house’, ‘occupier and tiller of the soil’. Thus, a husband is one who nurtures the wife with pious love, cultivates the wife and family, and tills the soil of the family.

    Fathers are no little men. Of course, they are too big to be small. They have muscles in their places with which they not only perform feats of impressiveness but also create new, bigger and stronger foundations for their children. So, it’s only a marginalized group of men that can actually be referred to as irresponsible as most men are struggling. But we know that they can do better!

    For quite some time, there has been a lot of negative portrayal of fathers and husbands. But what does an ideal father or husband look like? To begin with, the concept of father actually arises from the Almighty God as Creator. So, every human father is only a derivative, a copy and a limited expression of the ‘Olódùmarè’ (the Creator, Cause and Origin of all Things), ‘Baba wa tí mbe lí òrun’ (Our Father, who art in heaven), the One who’s so compassionate that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us.

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    In an article, ‘Appreciating a responsible father’, I described a father as “an important source of a child’s genetic makeup” and “his or her first teacher” and that “a father loves his child and provides for him or her as a precious jewel.” Since “children are a heritage from the Lord”, I wrote that “a good father prays for his children and engages them in deep, heart-to-heart conversations that impart more than facts, but teach wisdom.” Fathers are “expected to study and teach God’s Word to their children.” What’s more? “God blesses the children through their fathers.”

    According to Wade Boggs, “anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad”. It is interesting to note that many people do have fond memories of their fathers – how their fathers loved, taught, even corrected identified misdemeanors so that they might live well. In remembering my father, Sunday Alaba Komolafe, who died on August 11, 2020 and was buried on September 11, 2020, comparisons are obvious. On a day like this, I remember my father as the one who “gave us (his children) partnership and protection” and as “a peacemaker whose life depicted concrete evidence of an organized future.” Close to 4 years after, I still find it difficult to accept that I have lost ‘Baba Kayode, as my dad was fondly called, to the wild, wicked hands of death at 92! Well, it is well!

    Of course, there have been many lame-brains who pretend to be fathers. But then, that does not mean that they are in the majority! Surely certainly, the drunken and the incestuous fathers, wife beaters and deadbeat fathers are in a small minority. Fish or cut bait, we are in a culture where fathers are supposed to be providers, and many people who go into marriage take that aspect of matrimony seriously. So, they will not just abandon those God-given responsibilities only to pursue a career in drinking.

    Talking about the African patriarchal culture where some men act as if they own their wives, it must also be noted that the overwhelming majority of men are alive and accountable to their responsibilities. So, Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the ideal father! It is a day to also say that those who are irresponsible most probably came from dysfunctional families where they never had good role models and that they’re only transferring their wounds to the people they got married to or the children they gave birth to!

    For their efforts, men need to be encouraged, especially at a time like this when the majority of our men are on the verge of social and mental collapse. In a country where hunger and deprivation are already busting the people’s asses, where the prevailing inflation rate is stifling and asphyxiating, and where many Nigerians are dead before their death, this is not the time to be excoriating or burlesquing fathers.

    Yes, times are tough and things are hard! However, men should also avoid taking out their frustrations on their families because we are all in it together! Besides, it is in the nature of man to be persevering, courageous, “stay positive and look for solutions”, just as Caleb and Joshua did when they were asked to spy out the Land of Canaan. For men therefore, this is the time to make sacrifices which, in every possible way, are instinctual for the adult male. In a word, Father’s Day is meant to call for investment, training and retraining, forming and reforming of boys for the critical work of being fathers in the future.

    In the past 20 to 30 years, there have been many programmes for the girl child. Actually, 90% of the Funding/Donor Agencies would always tell the world that their programmes were for the woman and/or the girl but there has been very little, if any, for the boy child and young men. We have Ministries of Women Affairs that focus on the woman and the girl child but none to cater for the needs of the boy child and/or young men. In the past, traditional societies also had progammes for initiating boys into adulthood. Lamentably, we’ve lost that and there’s nothing in place to replace it! A few workshops and youth programmes for the boys here and there but that’s not enough!

    All said, it’s time well-meaning individuals, private organizations, corporate agencies and religious organizations started programmes aimed at transforming boys into men and young men into husbands, with all the accompanying values and virtues, if we do not want to have beasts and abusive husbands in the future. In a world that derives its oxygen from narcotics and human sacrifices and where brothers are afraid of becoming fathers for obvious reasons, the boy child needs something that will actually lead young men to grow into manhood.

    Tragically, Nigeria is stagnated because there haven’t been father figures of the types that she had some 50 to 60 years ago. Is it any wonder why moral re-armament has become a scarce commodity in our clime?

    • May the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, give us peace in our time!

  • On yet another father’s day…

    Have you noticed that June is the month of confrontation? It is the time of the year when the heavens and the earth meet in one long conversation that ends in downpours the likes you haven’t seen since the year began. It is also the time in the year when the earth’s plants and the sky’s sun begin their hide and seek game to bring out varied colours of flower sprigs so bright and fair Othello’s Desdemona would be green with envy. Above all, it is the month fathers and children look at each other and confront some hard truths: why in the world do they resemble each other in every way particular, even to the repeating of the same damned mistakes of the fathers? Is it just a hormonal thing or is it psychological: that we are all compelled to repeat our parent’s mistakes? Or is it a matter of the family’s share of the grey matter gene not being efficient?

    Whatever it may be, it is important to note that the world is celebrating all fathers today. You know what they are, don’t you? They are those generally oak-like beings who hover around the house, growling their needs and displeasure (in one breath) at nearly every moment and are forever issuing commands. ‘You, get me my newspaper! You, get me my pen! You, come outside and get me a stone to hurl at that lizard! What do you mean you are inside and I’m outside? What has that got to do with anything?’ Naturally, with reasonable attitudes like that, you are not surprised that world wars are fought daily in many homes, and the United Nations can do nothing to help.

    Seriously, there are more fathers and children living in fractured relationships than you can imagine. Forget Freud and his psychoanalytic theory of Oedipus Complex or Rex that causes unnecessary and useless competitions; forget his student, Jung and his even bigger theories about the inner workings of the (in)human mind. Fractured relationships are fractured relationships. Something causes them; it is certain that something can mend them. But what do these relationships fracture over?

    It is not certain but disagreements over what each takes to be the stuff of life helps. That is what makes one go, ‘YOU BETTER TALK TO YOUR SON; HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE A WRITER WHEN HE CAN BE A LAWYER. WHAT DOES HE WANT TO LIVE ON, EH, WHAT? HE WANTS TO GO AND STARVE. OR DOES HE THINK I’M GOING TO SUPPORT HIM THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE? YOU BETTER TALK TO HIM!’ And the other goes, ‘Why can daddy not understand? Why is he behaving as if he was never a young man himself? Can’t he understand that I’ve got my life to live? It’s my life after all!’ With a stalemate like that, the mother can only do one thing: continue to swivel her head from one speaker to another. Hers is such a placid, peaceful life.

    Watching father-child interactions gives one a better understanding of the war of the worlds than any book or film can. It is a veritable collision of courses where everyone thinks he/she is just and the other a malevolent monster. What is a child but a being sent from the other world to come and plague you, said a father? And another asked his son: ‘And what do you want to be when you grow up?’ ‘A daddy, with a lot of luck’, replied the son, as he watched his father struggle to balance the family’s accounts.

    Then there can be failure to appreciate the stuff that each is made of. One can go, ‘Mummy, why is Daddy such a hard man? No matter what you ask him, the answer is always ‘NO’. ‘No’ to shoe allowance; ‘no’ to make-up allowance; ‘no’ to summer holidays abroad when all my friends are going. Why can’t he understand that our times are different from his?’ And the father goes, ‘You better talk to your daughter. In this house there is no room for any spoiled child. My parents did not spoil me; why should I spoil any yeye child?’

    That reminds me of a story I read in a magazine. The son of the house had asked to borrow the car for the weekend. The father had agreed on the condition that the son would first mow the lawn. He agreed and the contract was signed, verbally. When the father returned from his own weekend trip, the son complained that he could not find the car key. ‘Funny,’ said the father, ‘I tied it to the handle of the lawn mower myself before going away.’

    Of course, disagreements over properties are normal, everyday occurrences. Once Junior learns to drive, the question of who really owns the car becomes mute. Nobody asks it; only the father grumbles about accruing mileage, increasing fuel costs, and having to pay for the pleasure rides of sons who should be studying or working. ‘After all,’ father concludes his tirade, ‘at his age, I already owned a car. He just better not think that he is going to own this house’. Now, that is war.

    I believe I have told this story before but I will tell it again for the sake of those reading this column for the first time while the old hands can enjoy it again and also because I enjoy repeating jokes. Once, a father and son were quarrelling and at a heated point of the exchange, the father peremptorily asked the son to leave his house. The son replied that he was going nowhere because he was in his father’s house. His father could go and look for his own father’s house if he wished and stay there.

    I’m not quite sure but I seem to think that report cards may also have something to do with it. That’s another ‘at your age…’ syndrome that can cause fractures. You know how fathers are forever going on and on about how they always came first in their classes in their primary school days? Well, one such bragging was brought to an end recently when some children discovered their father’s primary school report card in some very old box that appeared never to have been opened. In black and white, the report showed daddy coming second from the rear. When the children confronted their father with the evidence, he summarily sent them out of the house. The silly things, he grumbled; let them not go and read their books instead of going around searching old boxes!

    Anyway, an analyst has suggested that men who always claim to have come first in their primary school days actually believe the lie they tell themselves. By the way, there are many self-deluding fathers who believe many other things: that their children are as well behaved outside the house as they are within it; that everyone lies against their children out of envy; that their children fail because teachers hate them not that they are lazy… Well, time to wake up.

    On this column last year, we greeted the fathers and prayed that they would help their family members reach their best. This year, we are praying that fathers, as well as, if not better than mothers, can be fracture healers in their families. Fractures can heal with a great deal of patient and loving handling; and so will fractured relationships. Sadly, there are many fathers who are not on talking terms with their children. The rule is, if we cannot heal, we must not fracture.

    Secondly, this column prays fathers to be encouragers of their broods for a healthy family relationship. The health of the Nigerian family is in the hands of both mothers and fathers; neither is indispensable.

     

     

  • If fathers do their work, Nigeria will do less – Osinbajo

    If fathers do their work, Nigeria will do less – Osinbajo

    If Acting President Yemi Osinbajo has his way, those who loot the treasury will no longer find sanctuary in the House of God.

    At a special service at the Aso Villa Chapel yesterday to mark Fathers’ Day, the Acting President urged churches to ostracise looters.

    Such people, he said, should not be held in high esteem because they brought the country to where it is today.

    Osinbajo enjoined fathers to be exemplary leaders that build generations of righteous men and women.

    He said: “I want to say that all of our leaders, the Christian leaders; the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN) and Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), that it is the role of the church to build this nation. And the church has that role because God has said concerning us that we are the light of the world and we are the salt of the earth. That role is a very difficult role. We are not to teach the world how to be like the world but to teach the world how to be like our saviour, Jesus Christ.

    Every time we come to the church, we are told about giving, but we need to talk more about honesty. Just now His Eminence said Nigeria’s great problem is not an absence of prosperity but that we have enough for our needs but we don’t have enough for our greed. The greed of many is what has landed this country to where it is today. Many in position of authority, it is the greed that has landed us to where we are. Many who say the reason why they are stealing is because they need to have an arsenal for future political experiment, it is a lie! It is greed.

    “And if the church says you are not allowed to steal and we will ostracise the thieves in our midst. If a man’s resources, what a man has does not measure up to what he earns, if you found that a man has more money than he should have, if a man is earning a salary in a civil service or public service and he has houses everywhere, we have to hold him to account. He must first be held to account in the church. He must first be told in the church, we will not allow this. If the church ostracises the thieves; if the church says we will not accept thieves here or we will ensure that we expose you, you are stealing the resources of our nation, you are stealing the resources of a private company or other establishments, then we will not have the kind of problems that we have in this country. If only the church can.

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    “When I listened to His Eminence a few minutes ago, talking about the importance of the type of training we received as a child; the type of training where you were taught primarily about integrity; that you must be a person of integrity; that you must be truthful, you must be honest. That is the foundational teaching. Even knowing the Ten Commandments was enough to teach you about righteousness. That is so important especially for us who are Christians.”

    Fathers, the Acting President said, follow the footsteps of Abraham who God chose in order to “command his children and household in the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice.”

    He adminished fathers to love their wives and refrain from domestic violence.

    House of Representatives Speaker Yakubu Dogara lamented the collapse of family system in the country.

    He said: “We should invest more, really as a nation, in fatherhood or in family. And when children are properly brought up, you will see that most of the resources we channel towards control of crime and so many other government programmes, there will be no need for them. Because we will have some kinds of transformation that only take place at the family level.

    “Certain things cannot be done by the government like we cannot just outsource discipline in a home, the issue of imparting or instilling morality in the lives of our citizens. The government certainly cannot do that; it is the role of the family. So when we celebrate fathers like this, we celebrate fatherhood, we emphasise on the importance of the family as a unit in bringing up those components of society, performing its role and then turning citizens that are compliant. That, therefore, means that we won’t be spending money in fighting crime.

    When fathers do their work, the nation will have less work to do. And when next we have people in leadership who fail, who are patently corrupt, the question shouldn’t be ‘who is this?’ The question should be ‘who is the father of that person?’ I congratulate the fathers.

    The Speaker urged fathers to be exemplary in their conduct, saying:

    “If you wouldn’t want your children to follow your example, then it means you are failing as a father. And once father fails, family fails, certainly, the nation will fail because the family is the strength of a nation.”

    He described Fathers’ Day as one of the most important days in the life of a nation, saying a nation is a collection of families.

    According to him, every leader, every good person, every armed robber, every militant, every terrorist comes from the family and when the family collapses, the nation collapses.

    In his sermon titled: “Fathers to the rescue of our beloved nation,” Methodist Church of Nigeria Prelate Samuel Kalu Uche, said God established the family as a basic and foundation unit of a country.

    “God has made fathers as the head and this assignment must be exercise in love, honesty, gentleness and unity. The responsibility of a father makes him to be accountable to God. A father must render a selfless service and he must be faithful to his wife,” he said.

    Attributing one of the problems besetting the nation to failure of many fathers, he pointed out that many fathers could not give their children good education, hence, they turned out to be criminals in the country.

    He noted that in the past children were taught to respect elders and to be upright, contrary to what is obtainable today where children are abandoned and they constitute nuisance in the society.

    The clergyman, who prayed for President Muhammadu Buhari’s quick recovery, said “anyone wishing the president dead is a wicked person.”

    “We should pray for the father of the nation to recover,” he said.

    Aso Villa Chapel Chaplain Pastor Seyi Malomo described the day as” a day to celebrate our source.”

    He said: “Every one of us has a source. There is a source of our heavenly father but that heavenly father graciously also gave us physical fathers. Every one of us traced our source to a father. And as we celebrate today, we are acknowledging ourselves; our President who is the source of this administration, the reason why we are here.

    “And we must celebrate him and we are celebrating all the fathers to let them know that they are really appreciated and that we are praying for them that more of their responsibilities, more of their roles will be felt by us and make our nation better and make our families better and make our communities better.”

    The two Bible readings from Ephesian 5: 22-33 and Ephesian 6: 1-4 were read by the Corps Marshal of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC), Boboye Oyeyemi and Dogara.

    As part of the activities to mark the occasion, gifts were presented to President Buhari; Acting President Osinbajo; Senate President Bukola Saraki; Dogara; the Chief Justice of the Federation, Justice Walter Onnoghen, and the churches in Nigeria.

    There were also song presentations by the children and the fathers to celebrate the day.

    Other in attendance included Archbishop of Methodist Church Abuja, Oche Job; Solicitor-General and Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Justice, Taiwo Abidogun.

  • ‘My father had sex with me to confirm my virginity’

    ‘My father had sex with me to confirm my virginity’

    • It’s devil’s work, says dad

     

    A 14-year-old girl has told the police how her father, Waheed Adeboye, 49, defiled her in their Ikorodu, Lagos home.

    She alleged that her father, who is now being detained at the Zonal Special Anti-Robbery Squad (ZSARS) Onikan, Lagos,  first had carnal knowledge of her in November 2014. “He had carnal knowledge of me again on March 5, this year,” she added.

    The victim, a Senior Secondary 1 pupil at Aro Isiode Grammar School in Ikorodu, Lagos, said: “We live in a face-me-I-face-you house in the Adamuo area of Ikorodu. My mother is late. We are four – my brother, two sisters and I. My father was formerly working at the National Open University (NOUN) but now works at a sawmill at Ikorodu. He left our family when I was three years old and he returned when my mother died.

    “In 2014, he used to check my private parts to find out if I had started menstruating. His second wife had already left him. One Saturday, I was sleeping alone on the floor in our one-room apartment; he removed my wrapper and lay with me on the ground while touching my private part with his finger.

    “Later, he asked me whether anybody had tested it and I said no. He said he would use his manhood to confirm. He removed my under-wear and wore a condom. He forced his manhood into me. I wanted to scream, but he held my mouth. After having fun with me, I bled profusely and felt weak.

    “I was angry with him because he is my father, but he warned me not to tell anybody. Sometimes he would ask me why I was browsing with my phone and when, attempted to explain to him, he would hold me and have fun with me. I felt humiliated and went to a church where I narrated my problem. The church brought me here for police attention.

    “He drinks a lot and womanises with prostitutes and other women outside marriage.”

    Adeboye, who sells planks in Ikorodu, said the victim’s mother died in 2007, adding: “I was arrested by the Oodua People’s Congress (OPC) for raping my daughter. They beat me silly and carried me to a church. The church then brought me to Zone II SARS.

    “It is devil work. I did not drink. Please my daughter, if I have offended you, forgive me. I am your father,” he pleaded.

    Zone II Acting Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO) Shem Olorunfemi, an Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP), said the matter was reported to the police on May 20.

    The case, he said, was transferred to ZSARS following a petition by a church. This, he said, led to the suspect’s arrest on May 21.

    Olorunfemi said a medical report and police investigations showed that the suspect defiled his daughter, adding that he would be charged to court after investigations.

  • ‘Father’s Day is not for me,’ says Maheeda

    ‘Father’s Day is not for me,’ says Maheeda

    As people all over the world celebrated Father’s yesterday, June 21, 2015, raunchy singer and self-acclaimed born-again Christian, Caroline Sam, popularly known as Maheeda, said that she does not celebrate Father’s Day.

    According to the crooner who alleged that her father abandoned her as an infant, while her stepfather raped her while growing up, celebrating fathers makes no sense to her.

    She said: ‘Happy Father’s Day? Which father? The father that left me from 5 month old? Or the step father that raped me growing up? F..k the Father’s Day!! Not for me huh?  Keep your wishes!!’

    The self-proclaimed goddess of X is married to a Dutch and is a mother of one.

  • Re-examine your roles, fathers told on World Fathers’ Day

    Re-examine your roles, fathers told on World Fathers’ Day

    Today, as Nigeria joins the rest of the world to mark World Fathers’ Day, fathers have been advised to re-examine their traditional roles as head of their families. The advice is given as part of the highlights of the celebration in Lagos. The grand finale of  the celebration in Lagos would be marked with a World Fathers’ Day Summit, 2015, organised by Creativedge Communications.

    According to the Convener of the summit, Muyiwa Obiyomi, the summit, tagged ‘The Making of a Father’ will hold today, Sunday, June 21, 2015 at 42, Olowu Str; off Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, Ikeja by 3:00pm with guest speakers that include Dr. Tosin Awolalu of Lifelong Learning Centre, National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN), Victoria Island, Lagos and Dr. Soji Oni; Dept. of Educational Foundations, University of Lagos, Yaba, Lagos.

    Obiyomi explained that World Fathers’ Day is observed globally on the third Sunday of June every year.

    “Agreed, the demands of our various occupations have placed enormous demands on us, but measures should be put in place to care for our aged ones. After all, an ancient Chinese proverb says; a family that has an old person in it has a Jewel. From our tight schedule of activities, a time should be created to provide our parents with gifts, medicare, holidays, financial support and regular visits. ”

     

     

  • A.Y Live hits Abuja on Father’s Day

    A.Y Live hits Abuja on Father’s Day

    TO celebrate Nigerian fathers on Fathers’ Day, ace comedian A.Y is set to storm Abuja with his flagship show, A.Y Live. The show, sponsored by Maltina, Nigeria’s number one non-alcoholic malt drink will take place on Sunday, June 21 at the Transcorp Hilton, Abuja.

    The show will feature a mix of comedy and music performances from popular names such as Akpororo, I Go Dye, M.I, Phyno, Helen Paul and Gordons. Others include Ushbebe, Fred Bright, Chucks D General among others.

    According to the organisers, the night promises to be unforgettable as it storms the capital city in the second leg of the 2015 A.Y Live series tagged ‘Complete Happiness’.

    Maltina Senior Brand Manager, Wole Adedeji, expressed the brand’s desire to continue partnering with A.Y Live.

    “Maltina is a happy brand and we believe very strongly in promoting joy and laughter because this is secret to happiness and wellbeing,” Adedeji said.

    “The rich nourishment of Maltina to share, your friends, family and loved ones around you and a hilarious and family-oriented show such as AY Live is the perfect package to make your day. Maltina believes that a family that laughs together stays together.”

    Reminiscing on the success of the Lagos Edition, show organiser and headline act A.Y said; “The Lagos edition was a great opening to the 2015 series of the show. We had some awesome performances and there was an insane amount of laughter. We definitely do not want Abuja to miss out on the fun, so we’ve put everything in place to ensure that everyone has the best experience possible at the Abuja show next weekend.”

    The final leg of the 2015 A.Y Live series will hold in Port Harcourt later in the year.

  • Students in the school of sadness (II)

    Students in the school of sadness (II)

    HAPPY Father’s Day, wonderful fathers. You are the first men in our lives and you’ll always remain very special and precious to us till eternity. I ought to do a father’s day special today because of the very crucial role you play in our lives. However, I have to continue this topic and would serve you a very special meal when I am through with this. Thanks for understanding.

    Childhood and adolescence ought to be the most enjoyable part in everyone’s life as it is free from worries, tensions and the distractions that come along with a matured person’s life. One could also be right to say the teen age is the most confusing time in the life of any human being and could bring about perpetual mood swings. Happiness is an emotion triggered by circumstances. It describes that bubbly feeling you get inside when everything is going your way. Yet, it could be transient, unpredictable and undependable because of the unpredictability of life. Even if it seems to be running from you, you must be determined to catch it and tie it to your soul because in it lays the miracle that will turn things round for good and pave way for the best days of your life. Unknown to many, being happy against all odds brings out the best in you and works wonders. Sadness on the other hand paints life in different shades of gray and makes it a dark abyss, most unenjoyable and very tiresome. As discussed last week, a lot of adolescents (and even you – dad, mum, sister, aunty, uncle, grandma and grandpa) could be much happier if only they dropped the unnecessary and uncomfortable baggage they seem so attached to. Here are a few more examples of such baggage which you may still be carrying about and suggestions on how to leave them behind.

     

    1. Living in the past

    Most often, we feel a lot of anger towards someone for something they did to us or for their failure to do something for us. It could have made an enormous difference in our life if they had not done or had done that thing for us. There are times we harbour a feeling of sadness and guilt about something we did or didn’t do. It’s a waste of time and energy. Perhaps you disclosed to a friend some highly personal information which you later regretted telling. Perhaps, even when you vowed to keep your virginity till your wedding night, you broke the vow, slept with a number of guys and feel very cheap. Whatever the reason, we are unforgiving and that precisely is the reason that a past event can engross our mind to the exclusion of other thoughts. This is very unhealthy mentally. Such feelings of guilt and sorrow can only continue to haunt us for as long as we remember or think of it. What is done cannot be undone. It happened in the past and the past cannot be undone. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Forgive yourself, forgive others. Free yourself from all the mental and emotional pain. Throw the past in the bin and allow some fresh air into your life.

     

    2. You hold grudges

    “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”  Mark Twain

    Holding a grudge has about the same logic as drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. You are harming yourself by carrying all of that negative energy. Let the bitterness go… for your own benefit. Forget about the painful embarrassment your friends caused you when they spread that stinking rumour about you. And please stop moaning over the silly boy who dumped you for another girl you know, or those who criticised you unfairly at some point or the other. They probably are having a great time without giving you a second thought, while you waste your life sending them death rays with your mind. Instead of grudging your sister for being your parents’ favourite, why don’t you concentrate on your sterling qualities and wallow in it? It would take your mind off them and bring out the very best of you which they probably never knew existed.

     

    3. You have a victim mentality

    The victim mentality is a very destructive mindset which tends to attract negativity and indeed deprive you of happiness. It is characterised by an attitude of blaming and complaining.  If you live your life as a victim, you also believe the lie that you have no power to change it. That’s not a way to embrace a meaningful existence. Why must you always feel you are not good enough? Quite frankly, this negative mindset may have set in since your childhood, however, you have the power to change it, otherwise, life will box you in a very tight corner and heap all sorts of horrible baggage on you. Worse still, you may never be able to fight your way out. Change your faulty belief systems and empower yourself to take responsibility for your actions and the corresponding reactions you encounter. Never give your power away to someone else. Don’t worry, in a short while, I’ll do a special on victim mentality and give you some tips on how to conquer it.

    •To be concluded next week

  • Jumia Launches Fathers Day store

    Jumia Launches Fathers Day store

    • gives priority to male items

    To make this year’s Fathers Day a memorable one, Jumia has launched a Fathers Day store. The store parades the best array of gifts ranging from an exquisite collection of cufflinks for those whose fathers are more formal in their dressing to latest technology tablets.

    Trendy ties, belts and timeless wrist watches are also available in the store. There is also a selection of premium polo shirts, which the firm believes is a must have for all fathers this season.

    The online firm also did not leave out those signature drinks some men hold in high esteem. There is also 60 per cent discount  off all items in the Jumia fashion store in this month’s fashion clearance sale specially for men and some for women.

    “To give back to those father figures in your lives, giving them gifts is one of the best ways to say a big thank you to the best dad,” the firm said.