Tag: Forget

  • Lest we forget…

    Lest we forget…

    These days, I couldn’t but think of how much has changed in nearly six months of the Bola Tinubu presidency. With everyone talking of how much things have not only gone south and sour but have become utterly hopeless, one might be forgiven to imagine that the dreaded Armageddon has finally berthed on our shores. 

    Sure, things are bad – really bad. So bad that nearly everyone that one meets has something to say about how terrible the current situation is. Before now, Nigerians could write a book on the soar-away inflation, the record unemployment and growing poverty and immiseration; the corruption and self-interests and how these have hobbled the nation’s development.

    Six months after, they have just enough materials to do wholesale book on the correlates of the new exchange rate regime and the fuel subsidy removal both of which combined, are believed to have brought the roof down on everyone’s heads. The town – as they say – is not smiling at all.

    Of course, the naira – our beloved currency is down and under. Rather than bring respite, the liberalisation of the forex market would seem to have compounded its woes. Even with the best of assurances, there are, as yet, no cast iron guarantees of its imminent bounce back with consumer price index – no thanks to our reliance on imports for items ranging from food to basic household goods – already threatening to spin out of control.

    The other day, the National Bureau of Statistics, NBS, released its October headline inflation report showing an increase in rate to 27.33% relative to the September rate of 26.72% with year-on-year headline inflation at 6.24% points higher compared to the rate recorded in October 2022 (21.09%).

    With so much gloom abounding, it has become extremely hard to see any tiny flick of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. 

    Yet, one is constantly reminded of how a nation that barely escaped the Process and Industrial Development (P&ID) noose has a lot to be thankful for. It seems a measure of the changing tides that the P&ID vultures which once held the nation by the balls are currently stewing in their own juice as the one-time underdog has now been afforded the sweet song of victory.

    Did I hear – free at last?

    Not quite. Whereas the battle that finally ended at the English court may have brought relief at the passing of that nightmarish chapter, it seems early in the day to roll out the drums. At least, not with the other vultures – known and unknown – still lurking menacingly by!

    In any case, if the P&ID saga and its aftermath is any revealing, it is how numbed Nigerians have become with their ever unending but dreary ‘drama of existence’; and from their apparent surrender to those dark forces massed against that very existence.

    Read Also: 2024 budget: Katsina govt allocates 20% to water, education sectors – Commissioner

    It is precisely that drama that today’s piece is all about. Another dark chapter in the story of how – you guessed right – the same Nigeria – was allegedly defrauded by such an amount that reduced the whole P&ID saga to a mere child’s play. We are here referring to a tidy sum of $62 billion said to have been ferried away – without arbitration –while Nigerian officials conveniently slept!

    Guess the culprits? The so-called International Oil Companies (IOCs), whose altars our so-called leaders are known to bow and worship!

    P&ID, as you already know, was accused of seeking to reap without as much as turning the sod. How about actors who, after ploughing on another’s field, went on to harvest but chose to render nugatory, the articles of settlement choosing instead, to cart away what belonged to another, enabled by minions and fifth columnists?

    Thanks to former Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Abubakar Malami, SAN, for going public with it, hereunder is how the international wire agency – Reuters – reported the affair on October 10, 2019.

    “Nigeria is seeking $62 billion from oil companies under regulations that allow the government to revisit revenue sharing deals on petroleum sales if crude prices exceed $20 a barrel, the attorney general told Reuters on Thursday”.

    The medium, quoting Malami said: “Computing the amount that should be credited to the Nigerian government if the law was effectively applied, that translates to around $62 billion against the IOCs (international oil companies).

    All options are on the table and there is no limit to what we can do in terms of engagement, in terms of settlement, if the need arises”, he was further quoted to have said while also conveniently short of naming the offenders!

    In truth however, it is the governments of Akwa Ibom, Rivers and Bayelsa that deserve the plaudits for going to court to enforce the PSC contracts. The apex court in 2018 had ruled that the federal government take steps to recover all outstanding amounts due under the PSC.

    At issue most certainly, was not the regulation. Rather, at a time of low oil prices and the government in the bid to incentivise the oil majors, had deservedly availed the operators sufficient fiscal leg-room to allow them breathe and to recoup their investments. Only that the sharing contract would automatically change should oil prices exceed $20 a barrel – as it later did!

    The problem was that our officials chose to look away even when oil prices rose. And for whatever reasons, neither of the parties that drew up the agreement – not the government and certainly not the IOCs – pretended that such an agreement existed let alone the thought of bringing it up. Not even when oil prices hit the $80 mark! In fact, at some point in 2014, oil prices actually hit the $100 mark.

    Unfortunately, while the IOCs and their Nigerian enablers smiled to the bank, the Nigerian government was too distracted to call for the books or went on Rip Van Winkle sleep. At least, not until Malami made the computation public through the highly publicised demand notice!

     And so far from being a call to charity, or even a play at brinksmanship, it was, ordinarily, something of a straight forward demand for equity and fair-play on behalf of a short-changed people and on which the Supreme Court as the final authority had pronounced upon!

    As one might imagine in such circumstances, the real scandal would soon follow. Like they say of the death of an elephant when all manners of knives suddenly spring out for a piece of the action, one such was the emergence of one Trobell International, described as the recovery agent with the letter of authorisation from AGF Malami to collect five percent (or $2.15 billion or N774 billion) commission on performance(?)!

    Surprised, President Muhammadu Buhari had ordered the contract whose commission he also described as “excessive” suspended. Indeed, the president’s then Chief of Staff, Abba Kyari, had also insisted that the government did not even need the help of the company to recover the debt as the Supreme Court had already directed the companies to pay up!  And so the matter was rested. That precisely is where we are today.

    Think of what an inflow of $62 billion can do to the value of the naira as indeed the economy as a whole. We are talking of non-debt, unencumbered cash, which the law already deem to belong to the federation account, but is being withheld by a cartel of lawless operators. The least the Tinubu administration can do for the country at this difficult time is press for the recovery of every dime of that money.

  • Lest we forget

    As kids growing up in Warri, we dreaded a certain ant called Okurubas, a sly and nimble irritant. Its sting not only tumefied the skin but threw anyone, no matter how big, off balance in an instant. The victim could go down as though a softie of a wrestling match. We called the sting “site,” a pidgin verb to reflect the onomatopoeic effect of the assault.

    Atiku Abubakar suffered the Okurubas effect last week. It came in the way of a story published by world renowned news agency Reuters. It published a story that illumined his recent United States trip, and affirmed that Atiku paid lobbyists to get a “temporary reprieve” to visit the country.

    Atiku travelled with a retinue of glamour acolytes like Bukola ‘Eleyinmi’ Saraki and Senator Ben Murray Bruce of the common sense policy now turned awry. The report said Atiku paid a lobby firm, Holland and Knight, $80,000 and had paid another such firm $90,000 a month. The idea was to waive any infractions he might have committed against the law, and allow him a short stay, a whirlwind visit.

    With a gleeful picture of a young lady handing him a bouquet, his publicists presented Atiku as a colourful triumph over his critics who pelted him with accusations of corrupt dealings. They said he had avoided the United States like a malignant disease because he awaited prosecution. He even lodged in President Trump’s hotel in Washington D.C. as though to emphasize a subtle meeting of the minds with a U.S. president known not to know the difference between public property and private gain. Being the president’s customer came across as a sort of sop.

    Atiku intended to cancel two big lies with one small one. When he launched his whirlwind trip to the United States, we did not know it was a lie until Reuters told us. But the travel was the small lie, but it was the sort of small lie with large consequences, like an Okurubas sting.

    He joined hands with one of the conduits of American corruption, the lobbyists. Lobbying is an important American feature, and it can be used for good and evil. Many a scandal in U.S. history have had their roots in it, including an ongoing one with President Trump involving a meeting with conniving Russians in Trump Tower in New York. Lobbyists are not necessarily actuated by noble impulses. “I know what my client wants,” confessed an anonymous lobbyist. “No one knows the common good.”

    The word is believed to have originated from or popularised by President Grant’s lips to characterise men who visited him at the lobby of the famous Willard Hotel in Washington, and lobbyists can advocate anything from smoking rights to gun rights to gay rights. But they are for hire. “The lobby is the army of the plutocracy,” said American sociologist William Graham Sumner on the value of the rich in American political engineering. Poor people cannot lobby in the US, unless backed by some moneyed interest.

    The two big lies are Siemens bribery scandal where he was named and led to 13-year jail term for an alleged fellow accomplice Congressman Jefferson who hid his loot in his Louisiana refrigerator. Even Siemens pleaded guilty and paid $1.6 million. The other involved his fourth wife Jennifer Douglas in an alleged $40 million money laundering. The Reuters story shows if he wants to visit again, he has to knock on a lobbyist’s door with plenty of dollars in his hands. Secondly, we know that the charges against him still stand and he cannot just hop on a flight to Washington without consequences.

    This story puts in context Atiku’s assertion that he will give amnesty to corrupt people, an official surrender to corruption as policy and it would also disentangle him from his sundry iniquities. One of such was his exploiting his position as vice president to enrich his company Intels by making it fatten on oil and gas shipments. His deputy, Peter Obi, saw nothing wrong with investing billions of Anambra State money in his family business and banks in which he had interest. He said he benefited Anambra and his fellow PDP men eulogised him with claptrap and claps. But he did not say how much he and his family stowed away in the sweetheart deals.

    It only shows that the Atiku candidacy is corruption fighting back. Yet we cannot say the Buhari era has a holy writ. I have noted its contradiction, and even hypocrisies, including the $25 billion NNPC saga and the Ganduje show. Ganduje has immunity but a scathing condemnation and effort of the party not to give another ticket would have helped. Also chief of army staff did not convince anyone when he tried to justify his Dubai property against the background of his lifetime earnings.

    Yet Buhari can be accused of not systemising the corruption war. But what he has done is a beginning. He has convicted two ex-governors, terrified many who steal, and saved a lot of money. It is not a thing to condemn but to build upon.

    Politics is like a mud fight. There are no pretty people in the ring. We strive but we don’t get swamped in idealism. Hence Theodore Roosevelt wrote his famous lines on the Man In the Arena: “it is not the critic who counts…The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…”

    Buhari’s great sin is his lack of sensitivity in social sector of governance. Skewed appointments, although his main critics were silent, sometimes raucous beneficiaries of the same thing in the Jonathan era. If he wins, and it seems likely, Buhari must turn the corner to social justice, and that is perhaps one of the reasons why some believe without reflection that he has not performed.

    Here is a list of some of what he has done. Some major infrastructure work, including major roads in the Southeast and Niger Delta, some with Sukuk money. Lagos-Ibadan expressway in good speed with little allocation from Saraki’s men. Ibaka seaport with procurements completed to ease Lagos. Arrested the Jonathan-era Naira freefall. Lagos-Ibadan railway and Itakpe-Warri railway ready. Second Niger Bridge with 12-storey building of work underwater. Series of N projects, including agriculture, with loans made available in what may be the beginning of a genuine welfare programme. School feeding for over 9 million children. Pension payment for Biafra, railway, Nigeria Airways retirees. Adoption of made-in-Aba localised fabric for police and army, including locally made vehicles for government use. Mambilla Plateau hydro-power project for 3,050 megawatts after 40 years of abandonment and it will trigger a city and a new economy on its own, including a tea plantation boom. Power rose from about 3000 megawatts to 7000, with some problems with distribution, including gas and transmission woes. It’s work in the making. And more.

    Buhari worked with plummetted oil price and earned the lowest revenue of any regime. Jonathan earned the highest with over $380 billion while Buhari earned about $93 billion. Reports say two weeks to election, Jonathan pulled over $290 million from the coffers. You can see why the economy could not sing. One of the great problems of the Buhari administration is messaging, both in tackling its crisis and in celebrating its triumphs.

    We have quite a few candidates, but only two have a chance to win. The idealists may pooh-pooh both, but election is about realism, and you choose what you can use. Realism is not foolishness. Buhari may not be a great candidate, it is the better option today. I would rather make the best of what is available if I cannot make the best available.

     

    Good Samaritan

    Some might say he was playing politics. But those who now live because he showed love are not complaining. Death knows no politics. Its hands are cold. The warmth of Oyo State Governor Abiola Ajimobi banished the icy hands from the two citizens, an okada rider and female passenger knocked down by vehicle. Onlookers were wary.

    Ajimobi

    The governor could have driven by, or cynically and mechanically ordered a staff to attend to them. But he was a genuine Good Samaritan who personally took them to the University College, Ibadan and ensured the best care available. Those who know Ajimobi’s biography will not be surprised as a man who grew up in a communal family compound of about 25 rooms in Oja-Oba, Ibadan, where cousins were as close brothers and sisters.  They received people with warmth from east and west and lived in empathy with their neighbours. That is the root of that day of Ajimobi’s hospitality. The governor’s heart of flesh made the difference between life and death of fellow citizens.

    If it was not charity, whatever it was enhanced Oyo State and the human family. The residents hailed him and the world is better for it.

  • Lawmaker to opposition: forget about Lagos in 2019

    Lawmaker to opposition: forget about Lagos in 2019

    A member of the Lagos State House of Assembly representing Ajeromi-Ifelodun Constituency II, Fatai Oluwa, has advised the opposition in the state to perish their dream of taking over in 2019.

    Oluwa said he was giving the advice because there is no vacancy in any of the elective offices in the state for the opposition.

    The lawmaker was reacting to a statement credited to the Action Democratic Party (ADP), which said it was poised to unseat the All Progressives Congress (APC) in the state.

    The ADP had described itself as the most credible alternative to the APC and even promised to make judicious use of the resources accruable to the state.

    Oluwa wondered why ADP members pretended not to see the massive development across the state.

    He said: “Only a person who does not reside in Lagos would say such a thing. Lagos remains a perfect example to other states in growth and development.

    “I must proudly tell you that Lagos did not borrow in 2017 to fund projects. Governor Akinwunmi Ambode confirmed this when he presented the 2018 budget before the House of Assembly.”

    “Yet, did you see the massive progress the state recorded in terms of infrastructure? Have you gone through the roads, the bridges, the health facilities?

    “Are you aware Governor Ambode has been able to shore up the internally generated revenue (IGR) of the state?

    “And now that the man has made a lot of efforts, one small party from nowhere would dream of coming to squander the progress of the state. It is not possible.”

     

     

     

  • Lest we forget Uyo tragedy

    Lest we forget Uyo tragedy

    For the sake of tomorrow, for the sake of the deceased and for the sake of posterity, the report of the enquiry into the Uyo tragedy must be made public. Those found guilty must be punished to serve as deterrent to others. If the report is swept under the carpet for whatever reason, ground is being prepared for another shoddy job capable of leading to another disaster.

    A radio station, Planet Radio, woke me up from slumber a few days ago. It donated N3.4 million to support 54 victims of the Reigners Bible Church building collapse in Uyo, the Akwa Ibom State capital. The beneficiaries include: those mortally injured, those still receiving treatment, those who have been healed to some extent and relatives of the deceased.

    This news item reminded me that we seem to have moved on five months after the church came down and took Josephine Effiom and several others in the tragedy in which Governor Udom Emmanuel survived by the grace of God. The report of the enquiry into the tragedy remains hush-hush. Have Effiom and others gone in vain?

    Effiom, who was a polytechnic student, a friend said, “was one of the first three brilliant chaps in my class”. Her seat at the polytechnic lecture theatre is now occupied by another, a sad reminder to her course mates that a brilliant soul had been wasted.

    Effiom is the face of a tragedy in a house of God, where fear should have been the last thing on anyone’s mind. The founder of the church was to have his ordination as a bishop. He is not a small fry. So, the church was jam-packed. Emmanuel came with some of his commissioners and aides. Some of the commissioners were new in the State Executive Council at the time having been sworn-in December 1, last year.

    Thirty minutes into the governor’s arrival hell literally came down. No thanks to human error, the church’s iron pillars gave way and the blue roofs came thumping down. Of course on people! And Effiom died. And many others too. An account even said someone was cut into two by the iron pillars. A policeman who reportedly saved the governor is now six feet below. And some others broke their necks, their limbs and their back. The founder of the church, Pastor Akan Weeks, had his leg broken.

    As typical of our nation, no one appears sure of how many people died. The day after, we saw figures as high as 160 in the media. It was attributed to the Chief Medical Director of the University of Uyo Teaching Hospital, who later denied it. Police gave the figure as 29.

    Commissioner for Health Dr.  Dominic Ukpong said 26 people died in the unfortunate incident. His words: “Death toll now 26. Patients in the hospitals are 168. Total out patients are 50. Total deaths 26. Nine hospitals have the following patients. UUTH, 28 patients; Ibom Specialist Hospital Uyo, 70 patients; Sifon Clinic, 9 patients; Lifecare Clinic, 24 patients; Premiers Clinic, 9 patients; St Lukes Hospital, 22 patients; Gateway Medical Centre, 2 patients; Uwah Mfon Clinic, 1 patient. First Line Clinic, 1 patient. Alma Clinic and Surgery, 2 patients.”

    And no one is willing to give the names of the dead. Thanks to Effiom’s classmates who revealed her identity, she would have died anonymously! Now, she is the face of the Uyo tragedy that should not have been.

    This tragedy turned the University of Uyo Teaching hospital (UUTH), Anua General Hospital, Life Care Hospital and the Ibom Specialist Hospital into Mecca of some sort. In these hospitals, those who defeated death received treatment to heal their broken necks, arms, back and heads. Tears from families of those recuperating now rented the air in these hospitals for weeks. The story at the mortuary sections of these hospitals was grimmer.

    For students of the University of Uyo and the Uyo City Polytechnic, which are believed to have been worst hit by the disaster, reality looked like dream.

    Emmanuel’s men who crawled out of death’s hole had interesting testimonies to share. His Chief Press Secretary, Ekerette Udoh, said an iron rod nearly cut his neck, but eventually hit him on the back. The cap of his left knee was broken and pains travelled all over his body.

    The commissioner for Information, Charles Udoh who joined the State Executive Council only some one week earlier, thought he was watching a movie when the pillars started coming down. He was on his way out of the church to catch a flight when tragedy struck. He would have been out but protocol demanded that he told the governor before vanishing from the church hall. It was this protocol-induced task he was accomplishing when death almost took him away like Effiom and the others whose true figures and names we may never know. He had to run here and there to prevent the iron pillars from turning him to a candidate for the mortuary.

    Nollywood actor Ekere Nkanga, who had acted almost all roles imaginable and was some sort of bad man in Emem Isong’s Weekend Getaway, was humbled when he had to wade through bodies to safety.

    “Shortly after the governor and his entourage and the bishops took their seats, the next thing I heard was the bang from the falling iron. By the time the iron came down, I noticed that people from the safe areas were  running to the centre, where I was sitting,” he said, adding:  “I hid under some people. A few seconds later, as I was trying to get up, the body of a man cut into two and fell on me. There were other corpses on me. I looked out for my brother but I couldn’t find him. Later, I found my phone. I called the Chairman, Uyo Local Government Area, to mobilise rescue officials to the venue.”

    He managed not to have a direct impact with falling rods, but he later discovered his neck was broken.

    “The impact of diving must have been responsible for my broken neck,” he said.

    He had to wear a neck collar and was under observation in the hospital for some time. Effiom and others would have gladly given testimonies if Nkanga’s fate had befallen them.

    The governor immediately set up a panel to probe the disaster that could have claimed his life. Pastor Weeks argued it was the devil fighting back and he urged Christians to unite and not see it as his battle alone. My argument at the time was that we must give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and give unto God what is God’s. I also pleaded that the fleeing contractor must account for this tragedy, which the Nigerian Society of Engineers (NSE) said was caused by shoddiness.

    Five months down the line, we are yet to get the report of the enquiry into the Reigners Bible Church Int’l Inc tragedy.

    My final take: For the sake of tomorrow, for the sake of the deceased and for the sake of posterity, the report of the enquiry into the Uyo tragedy must be made public. Those found guilty must be punished to serve as deterrent to others. If the report is swept under the carpet for whatever reason, ground is being prepared for another shoddy job capable of leading to another disaster. This certainly is not what we need in Akwa Ibom or anywhere in Nigeria.

     

    And Calabar’s tragedy

    of passion

    Football is a game of passion. Its fans are always passionate. There have been instances when fans stabbed each other or killed each other out of passion. It was passion that led Man United fans to a viewing centre under a high-tension wire in Calabar, the Cross River State capital, last Thursday. The wire gave way some minutes into the game and fell on the viewers. Initial reports said as much as thirty died while savouring their passion. It has since turned out that this figure is highly exaggerated. About ten are confirmed dead.

    Since the tragedy, there have been talks about banning viewing centres, but for the passion for the game, fans are ready to resist any move against communal viewing of the leather game. Talk about being passionate about one’s passion.

    May God grant the families of the deceased the fortitude to bear the losses, and may their passion for the game not die with their loved ones.

  • Traditional worshippers: forgive and forget

    The Ancient Religion Societies of African Descendants International Council (ARSADIC) has urged the Yoruba and Hausa to forgive and forget, following the violence between them in Ile-Ife, Osun State.

    A statement by its President, Aare Sola Olalekan Atanda, said forgiveness was necessary because of the consequences of staining the abode of the Orisa.

    According to him, retaliation is never the solution but parties must forgive and learn tolerance, adding that peace is light and fighting is death.

    Atanda, who described Ile-Ife as a sacred ancient city and the cradle of mankind, said the world could not afford any disturbance and threat to life and property in the town.

    He called on traditional priests and priestesses to join hands in prayers and rituals with the 20 kings of Orisa Ife (Oba Isoro) in seeking peace for the town.

  • Why you should forgive and forget (2)

    WE will be looking at more useful counsel on why it is necessary to forgive and forget. Sometimes we find it difficult to let go despite the fact that we claim to have forgiven our offenders. Like some people will say, I can forgive, but I cannot forget.

    Genuine forgiveness and giving-up resentment go hand in hand. Real forgiveness requires three things: understanding the other’s experiences and feelings, being compassionate to others and accepting others as they are.

    To forget what was said or the action that was carried out, or pretend that it never happened is not true because the word or action indeed took place, so for you to let go which is regarded forgetting, the following steps should be put into consideration.

    Talk about how the word or action has affected you. It could be your friend,  family member or worker, and find out what made him or her say or do what hurt you. Make your message clear, and pour out your emotion freely.

    Avoid violence because it is not the best way of resolving issues. Don’t be in denial and tell the person your pain, bitterness, and resentment. On the other hand, if writing the issue down will make you feel better, why not do so.

    The main issue here is that you need to let it out from your mind, so that you can get rid of the whole issue faster and move on. Because the sooner you forgive and let go, the better for you as a person. As a matter of fact, forgiveness is really an act of will, making up your mind to forgive the offender, even before you are asked for forgiveness.

    This can only take place when you put certain steps into consideration, which are as follows: First is to acknowledge that others have also forgiven your offences as well. Once you realize this, forgiving your offender might come easier.

    The next step is to release the person from your mind. It might be emotional which involves mental bundling up all hostile feelings and throwing them behind you. This can be achieved in two ways either by meeting face to face or by using a substitute possibly sharing the issue with someone who will help you put things right with your offender.

    Acceptance must not be excluded, accepting others as they are and releasing them from any responsibility to meet your needs should also be considered.  Learn not to expect more from people, so that you will not be disappointed by their actions.

    Certain people can make or destroy your day, depending on the level of attention you give to their actions or utterances. However, when you decide as an act of will to forgive, you absolve your offender of any responsibility to meet your expectations. In addition, you must see the person as a tool in your life to assist your growth. Experience, they say, is the best teacher. It also helps you understand and appreciate boundaries.

    The last thing that must be considered is the aspect of reconciliation, regardless of how you go about it. Restoration after forgiveness is vital and you must ask God to restore the lost good relationship you once shared with this person.

    Furthermore, several things will occur once the forgiveness process is completed. The first effect is that all the negative feelings about your offender will disappear completely and you start seeing the person in a different form. Henceforth, you find it simple to accept your offender without feeling the need to change him, being willing to understand people for who they are and be able to tolerate their strengths and weaknesses.

    Finally, your concern should be more about the person, not his or her action. So, no matter the pain, whatever the situation, you must learn to get involved with the process of forgiving others and find out what it means to let go and be free.  Take care of yourself and each other.

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or text message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter @bineharrietj, instagram-harrietogbobine, blog; liwh.com.ng

  • Why you should forgive and forget?

    Dear Harriet, I am hurting badly. I just can’t forgive him for what he did. It is so hard for me to let go. Please, help me.

    Amaka, Lagos.

    Thanks for sharing your situation; it is not that easy to open up when it comes to emotional issues, so I must commend you for your text message because some people in your situation will try dealing with it on their own, instead of seeking help.

    From every indication, it must have been a very painful experience, although details of the offence are not given here. Holding on to grudge and revenge works like a deadly poison that can destroy the general well- being and mind of a person.

    Not been able to face anger and confront bitterness issues (whether from a loved one, colleague, relative and so on), people allow  unforgiving behaviour to cause much distress for them. However, it might sound impossible or irrational, let’s face it, forgiveness is the most difficult issue to tackle in one’s heart. The reason is simply because the afflicted person believes that he or she has every cause to loathe his or her offender.

    Forgetting that by refusing to forgive and let go, you might feel you are fine by it without knowing that the experience is only a temporary feeling of peace, a momentary taste of satisfaction and contentment for a while to prove your supposed strength and ability to forge on with life, leaving the offender behind.

    As a matter of fact, forgiveness is a choice, conscious decision. Note it is a personal decision to let go off the pain, bitterness that the action has caused. Forgiveness makes you feel relief; it’s like a heavy weight has been lifted off your heart.

    Don’t forget when you bear grudges, you are actually the person that is putting his/her health in danger, therefore, when you forgive, you are helping yourself; it makes way for kindness and compassion.  It reduces anxiety, stress and hostility. It also helps to reduce the intake of alcohol and abusive substances to ease off the painful situation.

    Forgiving the person does not make the offence right or that you accept the wrong action, instead it is a way of peace with yourself and the person.

    The choice a person makes can affect the rest of his or her life. There are so many people who have been burdened with an unforgiving heart, a heart that feels the same way you feel at the moment because of the magnitude of the offence this will  affect other aspects of their lives because they did not deal with the issue properly.

    In addition, some people view forgiveness as an agreement or settlement, forgetting that genuine forgiveness is not a truce but a pardon. Aforementioned, the person is not agreeing rather he or she is releasing; forgiveness benefits the offended person more than the offender.

    That is to say once forgiveness is offered, it means the problem is totally handed over to God Almighty and the person offering forgiveness is released to freedom. You might feel, why are we sounding religious, yes we are of different beliefs or religions, but one thing is certain God created us and put us in the world we live in, having to deal with people with different character. It is only wise for us to live, according to the way He instructed us, knowing that forgiveness is a major aspect we are asked to practise.

    Moreover, another important fact to understand is that forgiveness releases a person from the role of being a victim. There is no way to hold an offender hostage in your mind because the only one being held captive is the one who is unwilling to offer forgiveness. He or she is kept there by his or her emotions.

    Furthermore, the common perception about forgiveness is that some people feel that a person must go to them personally and declare their forgiveness.

    Pronouncing our forgiveness to someone who has not first solicited it sometimes causes more problems than it solves. Therefore, forgiveness is a much more involved issue than just putting time between us and the event. It is actually a process that involves understanding our own forgiveness and how it applies to those people who have caused us pain.

    To be continued.

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or text message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter @bineharrietj, instagram-harrietogbobine, blog; liwh.com.ng

  • ‘We won’t forget fallen heroes’

    ‘We won’t forget fallen heroes’

    •President pledges
    N10m at Armed Forces emblem’s launch

    THE sacrifices of the country’s fallen heroes, heroines and veterans who rose up to the security challenges facing the nation will not go un-noticed, President Muhammadu Buhari promised yesterday.

    He gave the assurance while launching the 2016 Armed Forces Remembrance Day Emblem and Appeal Fund at the Presidential Villa, Abuja.

    The Armed Forces Remembrance Day celebration is observed annually on January 15 to commemorate the selfless service of Nigerian troops in military campaigns and wars.

    The theme of this year’s celebration is: ”Motivating  the Nigerian Armed Forces for Effective Service Delivery”.

    Buhari at the event announced a donation of N10 million.

    He said: “We are gathered here today to observe a worthy tradition of acknowledging and appreciating the gallantry and accomplishments of our veterans in the First and Second World Wars, Peace Support Operations  around the world and internal security operations, particularly the ongoing campaign against terrorism in our country.

    “I am, therefore, proud to address this solemn gathering in honour of our distinguished veterans, who devoted their lives to the service of our country and the world at large.

    “Today’s occasion reminds us of the need to appreciate the noble contributions of our fallen heroes, who paid the supreme sacrifice to maintain national and international peace and security.

    “The sacrifices of our fallen heroes, heroines, and veterans who rose up to the security challenges cannot go un-noticed.”

    He called on well-meaning Nigerians and corporate organisations to lend their support to the emblem initiative.

    Defence Minister Muhammad Dan-Ali described the event as a unique one coming at a time when the nation was committing much to anti-terrorism war.

    The Chairman, Nigerian Legion, Col. Micah Gayya (rtd) later decorated Buhari; Vice President Yemi Osinbajo; former Head of the Interim National Government Chief Ernest Shonekan; Speaker of the House of Representatives Yakubu Dogara and Chief Justice of Nigeria Mahmud Mohammed with the redesigned emblems.

    He also decorated the Minister of Defence, the service chiefs and the Inspector-General of Police, Solomon Arase.

    Those who also attended the launch included members of the National Assembly, members of diplomatic corps, captains of industries and top government officials.

  • I won’t  forget  rift with Oliseh  – Enyeama

    I won’t forget rift with Oliseh – Enyeama

    Nigeria’s most capped player, Vincent Enyeama took to twitter to express himself following the skirmish that emanated from the Super Eagles Hotel Verviers camp site on Tuesday night in Belgium.

    The 33-year-old Lille of France shot-stopper, Vincent Enyeama was ordered out of the Super Eagles camp after a heated altercation with the team’s gaffer Sunday Oliseh but was later allowed to stay after intervention from the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF).

    However, there was a big consequence for the former Enyimba of Aba star as he was unapologetically stripped of the captain’s arm-band and handed to CSKA Moscow forward Ahmed Musa ahead of the likes of Mikel Obi and Emmanuel Emenike.

    Fresh from burying his late mother over the weekend in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, Enyeama through his Instagram page fired back that he would accept all insults thrown at him despite his years of sacrifice for the country but will not take any abuse targeted at his late mother.

    “After 13years of national service, having the smiles on my face and this passion in my heart. Through the billows, the waves of the ocean, the tears of defeat, the sound of rejoicing from victory chants. Now the thought of being stripped naked and security agents throwing me out breaks me completely. I will take anything but not insult to my dead mother,” Enyeama wrote on his Instagram page.

    Enyeama has 101 caps for the Super Eagles so far but with his latest fragile relationship with the manager and the fine form of Carl Ikeme, it is yet to be seen if he will add more international caps to his already very impressive CV.

  • Don’t forget Ramadan lessons —Ambode

    Don’t forget Ramadan lessons —Ambode

    Lagos State Governor, Mr. Akinwunmi Ambode, yesterday joined Muslims to mark the Eid-El-Fitri celebrations, just as he called on them to sustain the lessons of the Ramadan fast beyond the season.

    The governor, who spoke when he hosted scores of Muslims to a feast at the Lagos House, Alausa, urged them to imbibe the tenets of the season and ensure they reflect in their daily activities.

    “Let me use this medium to felicitate with our Muslim brothers and sisters on the completion of the year 2015 Ramadan. Ramadan has come and gone, but the lessons of the month remain and we should as worshippers sustain them in our everyday activity.

    “Let us put to use the  lessons of Ramadan. Let us remain peaceful and eschew vices by remaining steadfast in our journey to make Lagos State a better place for all of us.

    “We may differ in tongue and faith, but we all remain equal before our creator, the owner of heaven and earth.

    “It is my fervent prayer that the Almighty will continue to increase our wisdom and improve our health and wealth. May we witness many more celebrations”, the governor said.

    Earlier in her welcome address, First Lady of Lagos State, Mrs. Bolanle Ambode, expressed her appreciation for the support given to the present administration so far, just as she appealed for more cordial relationship being enjoyed in the state.

    “While I enjoin you all to feel relaxed and enjoy yourselves, please remember to continue to pray for peace, tranquility and prosperity of the state,”she said.

    She urged parents to inculcate moral and religious teachings in their children and support their families.

    “As the family is the bedrock of any society, let us all endeavour to focus on teaching our children in the way of Almighty Allah and support our husbands in all their endeavours”, she said.

    Highlights of the celebration included a quiz and dancing competition.