Tag: friend

  • Two friends asking me out….

    Hi Aunty Dee. I am in a dilemma; two close friends are asking me out (without each of them knowing). How can I accept for one and refuse the other without causing a fight between them? Stephanie.

    Dear Stephanie, it happens every time that two people closely related or friends fall in love with the same person. It’s possible that both are very serious about you and it’s also possible that both are very nice boys. What is not possible is for both of them to be the same kind of people in the way they talk and do things. There must be something about one of them that makes him more special than the other.

    You need a lot of wisdom and maturity in dealing with this issue and if both of them are matured, you should sail through it without drowning. Make it known to both of them that the other person is also interested in you and that you can’t have the two of them at the same time. You have to be bold about naming the one you have preference for and let the other person know that you all can remain friends since you’re still in the same group of friends. But if after all said and done, there is any trace of animosity, let them be. There are so many fishes in the river, you can always find a good guy elsewhere without upsetting a good friendship.

  • Vigilance group head kills friend

    Property worth millions of naira was yesterday burnt when some youths angrily set a building ablaze over the killing of their friend identified as Amaosa Otabor.

    Otabor was allegedly killed by his friend, Lucky Amadasun, who is the head of a local vigilance group at Upper Uwa and Amadasun Street in Ikpoba Okha Local Government Area of Edo State.

    Residents of the building were chased away before it was set on fire. A vehicle and a motor-cycle were also burnt.

    The youths vowed to avenge the killing of their friend, if police investigation yielded nothing.

    Witnesses said the late Otabor (27) was shot in the chest and died before he was taken to the hospital.

    They said the incident occurred at Amadasun’s home on Sunday evening after an argument between Amadasun and his friend, Osasu.

    It was learnt that Amadasun pointed the gun at Osasu but Otabor intervened and was shot in the process.

    The victim’s cousin, Felix Ekhator, said they were informed about the incident at about 7:30pm but before they got there, his cousin’s body had been taken to the mortuary.

    Police spokesman Moses Eguaveon confirmed the incident and said investigation had begun.

     

  • Ways to be a good friend

    SOMEONE once said, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it to you when you forget the words.”

    This is eternally true as taking the time to nurture a friendship is worth every moment. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many will not and you’ll realise that each friendship you keep is priceless.

    But to have a good friend, you must be one, and it takes a lot of effort and care.

    In spite of the many stories of back-biting and jealousy we hear about female relationships, there are still a few good women out there who will have your back and hold your hands against all odds.

    When you find these special people, hold on tight and never let them go. But to keep them by your side, you would need to learn how to be a good friend. These are some tips to see you through;

    1. Never forget birthdays or other important dates. Your husband, your boyfriend and your kids may forget your birthday or the anniversary of your big promotion but your girl friend never will. Always call, send a card or a gift on her birthday and any other important dates.

    2. Celebrate her accomplishments. You love to shine and so does your best friend. So always make sure to celebrate her accomplishments , no matter how big or how small. It is also a great reason to go out and enjoy an evening without the kids and husband.

    3. Make time for your girl friends. As real life begins to get in the way of your social life with kids, husband and job interfering, making time for your girl friends is crucial to maintaining a good relationship. You would never expect to have a good marriage without spending time with your spouse so how can you expect to ignore your girl friends and still have a close relationship. Make time to talk and stay involved in each other’s lives.

    4. Always have your girl friend’s back. True girl friends never gossip about each other and never tolerate someone else talking smack about their best friend. Girl friends know each other’s faults and will even point them out to one another but they never allow anyone else to point out those faults.

    5. Give and receive to strengthen the bond. Always be there when your girl friend needs you, whether it is to help her move furniture, mourn the loss of a beloved pet or eat ice cream and bash her ex. Remember that your girl friends need to help you too in order to feel close to you.

    So, ask when you need help and do not try to do everything alone. Asking for help is as important as giving help when needed because it keeps your relationship in balance and gives both of you the opportunity to feel needed.

    6. Be honest. This was the root of what happened with my friend – – she lied to me and involved another good friend in the lie. Girl friends are honest with each other no matter how difficult the subject. My best girl friend of 15 years and I have fought many heated battles because we are honest with each other; however, that honesty is what has held us together for so many years.

    7. Laugh, cry and dream together. Sharing good times and bad times creates a bond that is strong. It helps you through the tough times. Remember that no man is an island and we all need a shoulder to cry on from time to time.

  • Regular water intake vital to ‘sound’ health

     Nigerians have been urged to improve the quality of water they drink for effective function of their body organs.

    According to Dr Raymond Akinlade of Royal Hospital, Lagos, water is a medium for chemical reactions in the body.

    “It moves nutrients, hormones, antibodies and oxygen through the blood stream and lymphatic system,” he said.

    He said drinking water is vital to health because it makes up about 60 per cent of the body weight. “Every system in the body depends on water. Taking enough and quality water reduces the risks of some diseases in the body, the energy level is greatly affected by the amount of water we drink,” he said.

    Akinlade said inadequate supply of water to the body would prevent the brain from performing optimally, adding that it may also trigger headache. “Lack of water can lead to dehydration, a condition that occurs when you don’t have enough water in your body to carry on normal functions.

    “Dehydration is very risky to the health of the old and the young,” he added.

    Akinlade identified the symptoms of dehydration as excessive thirst and fatigue.

    Others are headache, dry skin, dry mouth, little or no urination, dark colour or strong smell urine, hunger, muscle weakness and dizziness.

    On benefits of water to the body, Akinlade said drinking enough water helps to regulate the body temperature through perspiration which dissipates excess heat and cools the body. He said we lose about two pints of water daily by just exhaling, so it is crucial that we take water so our lungs would be moistened as we take in oxygen and excrete carbon dioxide.

    He said some diseases are reduced by having enough water in the body.

    “Asthma is frequently relieved when water intake is increased. When there is sufficient water, wastes are effectively removed, which results in improved kidneys. Water also lubricates the joints as joint pain frequently decreases with increased water intake,” he said.

    He noted that nothing can take the place of water. “Fruit juice, soft drinks, coffee and others may contain substances that are not healthy, and may actually contradict some of the positive effects of the added water.

    To improve water intake, Akinlade said, people should drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and first thing before, during and after meals. “Drinking a glass of water will help you to stay in control of your eating, and therefore help to keep your weight in a healthy range. Drinking water during the meals helps in digestion of the food,” he added.

     

  • When time is not a woman’s best friend

    When time is not a woman’s best friend

    Rita Ohai writes on the challenges women face managing time.

     

    TIME is usually not a woman’s best friend.

    It is common place to find men seething in frustration as they wait endlessly for a lady to put on her make-up, get dressed before she saunters graciously out of the house leaving a trail of excuses in her wake.

    For the average woman, wasting time is a normal occurrence and sometimes a necessity. Adeline Chiejine, an insurance broker who says she spends about an hour getting ready for work, corroborates this hypothesis.

    “I am not a morning person, so when I get out of bed, it could take me a while to move into the flow of things. That is not to say that I always reach the office late but because of all the things that I need to do before leaving the house, coupled with Lagos traffic, sometimes I do not have a choice.”

    In contrast, Imoh Egba, an architect and mother of two, believes that the only way to satisfy her family and achieve her personal daily targets without going insane from the pressure is to live by the clock.

    She says, “Using my time wisely is something that has become a part of me. In the earlier part of my life as a young woman, I may not have seen it as important due to the fact that I did not have so many responsibilities. But I have a lot on my hands now and the only way I can make all the loose ends meet is by paying attention to the nitty-gritty, such as doing things in a timely fashion so I can do everything that needs to be done.”

    Like Imoh, many successful people understand the value of judiciously utilizing their time for peace of mind.

    According to management experts, time is like money. If you control how you use it, you can create a productive and profitable working environment. If you don’t, you can spend your working life always being busy, but not getting the important things done.

    In our days, people spent most of their time working. There are times that they feel that they will never manage to escape from the four walls of the office and are lost in the various projects and tasks they have to finish. The solution to this vicious circle is to get organised and start managing your time! Here’s how;

    1. Make a list of what should be done

    Make a list of what to do and try to constantly renew the list and keep it up to date. Include in this list both urgent and non-urgent things so as never to forget or ignore something again. Keep the list all the time with you, in your briefcase or in your daily agenda.

    2. Allocate your time correctly

    Include an estimated time frame for each action and the date by which each task must be completed. If the order that each task must be completed does not matter it may be possible to complete something during an unexpected free time. For example, you can look for information on the Internet while you wait in your office to start a meeting.

    3. Set your own deadlines and meet them

    Be realistic about the deadlines you set and try to meet them. It is true that any work gets exactly the time allocated for it. Have you ever noticed how quickly you can finish something you have to write, give assignments and take decisions on the last day before your vacation? Although we tend to complete many things when we are under pressure, it’s less stressful and much more professional to establish and follow an action plan.

    4. Use your time intelligently

    Consider the case to check your e-mail only certain times of the day and let the answering machine respond to your calls so as not to interrupt your work for a couple of hours. If possible, avoid dealing with the same job or the same e-mail again. Never open e-mail address if you do not have time to read and edit, that is, to answer it, send, or delete it.

    Do not spend all your time chatting with people who do not add any value to your life. If you have to, try and avoid them and only meet with them in your spare time and if you absolutely have no choice.

    5. Be constantly busy

    Keep your skills in shape by having at least one project to be involved. Two or more (projects) would be even better because you are given the opportunity to change speed and to focus on something else for variety. To deal simultaneously with different projects assures that you will always have something on which to work. Also, it keeps your mind alert and renews your prospects.

    6. Choose carefully your projects

    Make sure that your work has some value for the company and that it raises your skills. There are many good reasons why you cannot accept to take part in a meeting and refuse to take an additional project. Successful people know how to say no. Ask yourself, ‘will this promote my career?’

    7. Do not waste your minutes

    It is an integral part of human nature to postpone unpleasant tasks. Plan some of the more pleasant tasks of the project to be made after any unpleasant tasks. If you do not like to work with numbers, plan to do the accounts in the morning when you are still fresh and there are not so many things to distract your attention.

    You must give greater attention to how you spend your time. Watch how successful businessmen allocate their time and emulate some of their time management practices. Success comes to those who know how to manage their time well!