The Nation Newspaper

Tag: girl

  • Attracted to the other girl

    I feel so stupid

    My step mother and I are best of friends. But recently, I noticed that she has been cheating on my dad and it makes me feel so sick and stupid. On his part, my father has been very caring and loyal to this woman and I wonder why she is behaving this way. He won’t even believe me if I tell him some of my findings. Ndidi

     

    Response

    Sad. I can imagine what you are going through at the moment. However, you must remember that three is a crowd in every relationship. You must allow your dad to discover things himself. Alternatively, you can pray for her to change her ways.

     

    My girlfriend is a tomboy

    I am in love with someone who can be described as a tomboy. She does not care about her appearance, doesn’t keep appointments or remember memorable dates that I treasure. She also has a number of attitudes that I do not like. Now, I think that I should dump this lady and get someone who would understand me. Roland

     

    Response

    I know it hurts when your partner is on a parallel line. Running away from her does not make you better. First, you need to let her know how you are feeling. If communication does not bring about the change required, then it may just be time for you to move on.

     

    Does it read on the metre?

    I have a very great relationship and my boyfriend is a wonderful person. I work in a reputable hospital as a nurse and I have built a career over the years. However, all the efforts that I have put in are being threatened my immediate boss who wants me to have a relationship with him. He is known to have sacked a number of female staff who do not agree with such advances and my friends say that I should say yes because ”it doesn’t read on the metre” (no one will know about it). Alero

     

    Response

    Oh dear! It is unfortunate and I can imagine that you are in a tight corner. Unlike your friends and advisers, I think it does read on the metre. This man is just out to ridicule you like the others. So I would advise you to stick to your principles and he would be forced to leave you alone. Even if it costs you your job, you would definitely get a better job.

     

    Attracted to the other girl

    I have a girl I love and want to date. But the problem is that we can’t date because her friend who I met only once is in love with me. I don’t have any attraction for her friend; she wants to keep the friendship and wants me to be her friend, though she also loves me. Who should I go for? Toluwalope

     

    Response

    Hello Tolu, you just have to make up your mind about who you really want. You actually muddled up the emotional process. How come you are meeting one and then loving the other? If you are not sure about who or what you want, please let the girls be. Do not ruin their friendship.

     

    I am scared

    I have been in an affair for about two years and we got engaged last week. I was excited, but I am bothered about the way he steals glances at women when we go out to places and events. I smell a rat and I hope I am in the right relationship. Amina

     

    Response

    Sweetheart, there is no cause for alarm. It may just be that you are imagining things. You need to trust him and believe that everything is going to be alright.

     

    Can I walk away?

    My marriage is less than six months old and things have not been as great as I imagined. I feel like walking away because my man is totally unfaithful .Samira

     

    Response

    Nothing hurts as much as getting to know that the person you love is taking you for granted. It hurts because you are likely to get to know after everyone else. Infidelity destroys the basis for trust, and what would a relationship be worth without trust? However, I think you can still give him some time to sort himself out. It could be an old flame that has not been totally extinguished.

     

    I am devastated

    I am feeling very sad at the moment. I discovered that my younger brother is having an affair with my fiancée about three weeks ago and I am devastated. Should forget about the girl or take her back? Rotimi

     

    Response

    So sorry about this bad news. This should naturally turn you off but if you are still in love with her, then you can just take her back. In only hope that she won’t go back to your brother later on. However you should not be unmindful of the fact that many people are morally bankrupt these days. There are a number of shady emotional deals going on .Your worries certainly speaks volume. This actually cast a shadow on the character and integrity of your girlfriend and your brother.

  • Girl, 2, needs N3.5m for heart surgery in India

    She is battling a life-threatening ailment. All she requires to live is N3.5 million, but her parents are poor. Will good Samaritans come to little Desola Kalejaye’s aid?  WALE ADEPOJU reports

    It two, when she should be going about playing with her mates, little Desola Kalejaye is suffering from a life-threatening hole-in-the-heart. She requires N3.5 million for surgery in India so as to live. The snag is her parents cannot afford the operation cost, which also covers air tickets, accommodation and post-treatment.

    Her father, Mr Adeola Kalejaye said the ailment started at birth.

    “We discovered she had hernia at birth but the doctor treating her said she had to wait until she’s about one- and-a-half years old before she could be allowed to have a hernia surgery,” he said.

    Her heart also started beating “very fast”, Kalejaiye said. “This made me to take her to the General Hospital for post treatment. It was from there that she was transferred to the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), Kalejaye said.“

    At LUTH, the doctor said she should have the hernia surgery.

    The doctor also said this was the cause of her heavy breathing.

    He said it was at the Federal Medical Centre, Abeokuta that doctors diagnosed her ailment to be a hole-in-the-heart, adding that they were advised to have echocardiogram (ECG).

    “After the shock discovery, the doctor advised that my daughter be flown abroad, especially India for a surgery,” Kalejaye said.

    He said her hernia is not life-threatening, but that the hole-in-the-heart is.

    The consultant said after the heart surgery, she would rest for some weeks before going for that of hernia.

    Kalejaye is appealing to well-meaning people, corporate organisations and the government for help.

    He said: “Desola is my first child and I’m very worried about her ailment. As a father, I’ve tried all I could without any solution. This is why I am begging that Nigerians should help me so that my daughter can have the treatment.”

    Do you want to see little Desola smile again? Her bank details are: Kalejaye Desola A.: FirstBank: 3079144789

  • Unending controversy over girl’s death in Agbor

    Unending controversy over girl’s death in Agbor

    What happened?

    My daughter, Radah Emuobosan Elsie Agbaje, was murdered on October 10 at Agbor in my younger sister’s house, where she was staying, by suspected student cultists from the College of Education, Agbor.

    She collected her result the upper Friday and she went to show her father the result on Monday and she was here to show my younger brother. She made Second Class Upper. She was brilliant. She finished from the Federal Government Girls College in Calabar, she made clear A’s. You need to see the poems she wrote. She was a writer and she was just wonderful.

    She (the other lady in the room with her) said when they (robbers) came in about 2am, they started flogging them; they flogged my daughter, and they flogged her. That they were shouting ‘Jesus, Jesus help’; that when she kept quiet, they continued flogging my daughter.

    What children in the house saw that night

    According to my sister’s three kids, they were in their room; they heard everything. When they now woke up in the morning around 5am, they saw that everywhere was quiet. The three kids now came out, holding hands and they went to my daughter’s room. They saw my daughter hurdled by the wardrobe’s door, the part of the wardrobe that belongs to Ederi.

    They started shaking her and that was when the senior one noticed that she was in a pool of her own blood. They now started screaming and my daughter did not respond. They now looked at the bed; the other girl was sleeping on the bed. So, they decided to wake her up. That was when she started saying that she was injured, the robbers have taken key. So, she told the boy of 8 to pass through the window to call people that she was afraid that the robbers were still there. So, the young boy had to go out through the window to go and call for help.

    Door was opened

    When the boy finally succeeded in going through the window, when people were trying to come in, they just turned the handle of the door that she claimed that robbers made away with the keys and the door opened. The door was not locked with keys.

    How did the alleged robbers come in?

    They came in through the ceiling. The ceiling was broken two weeks ago. My sister went out only to come back to discover that they broke the ceiling and came into the house. They did not know if it was robbers but they reported to the police that they broke through. They took my sister’s car key; they took N10,000 and her jewelleries.

    Not a robbery case

    Nothing was stolen from my in-law’s house that night. Robbers don’t sit, eat comfortably. They ate that night. They sat down and took long meal. So, what happened between 2-5am when a child of 8 years decided to raise alarm? What was the suspect doing in the same room when there is blood splashed all over the wall? They said they smashed her head. You need to go to Agbor. You need to see the room. The foam is soaked with blood. The flood in the wardrobe where she was when these kids saw her soaked with blood. What was a girl of 24 to 25 years doing when her own mate sharing the same bed with her was killed? What was she doing? That is the question.

    Police response was light

    They (police) treated it lightly the first time and I was not happy. I now knew that it was not a robbery case. I knew my daughter was murdered. On Sunday, I decided to seek legal help because I know it was not robbery. After that, they told me to go back to the police and reported the incident all over again. They had to open a file.

    Cry for justice

    I want justice! I want justice for a girl whose life was cut short. A gem, a girl that was everything, a girl that was all. I don’t know how to describe her. She is an angel that walked on this earth. Those who came in contact with her know who she was that girl that could never hurt a fly. She could never keep anything in her heart or go to bed with anger. She had this logic that she could never go to bed annoying somebody.

    I am calling on security agencies, police, SSS, to go after the killers of my daughter. The killers of my daughter are walking freely. I want the killers of my daughter brought to justice. I want security agencies to go after them before they go and torture another soul. I want them to be found and made to face the law. My daughter cannot die like that.

     

  • Controversy over girl’s death in Agbor

    Controversy over girl’s death in Agbor

    Twenty-five-year-old Radah Emuobosan Elsie Agbaje had just graduated with a Second Class (Upper Division) degree in Microbiology from the Delta State University, Abraka. She had high hopes about her future. She contacted some of her influential uncles about getting a job and was making plan of settling down with her fiancé.

    She was living with her aunt and her medical doctor husband in Agbor, Ika North East Local Government Area. She had been living with the couple for several years and those who knew the family said she was a dutiful young lady who served her host, and anybody she came across, with dedication and sincerity. The couple were also said to be very happy with her and entrusted her with the responsibility of caring for their three children.

    “Life was going on beautifully for everybody until that fateful day on October 15,” recalled a close family source, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

    The matriarch of the home was away in Warri and her husband was on duty at a government

     

  • Kebbi boosts girl-child education with more schools

    Kebbi boosts girl-child education with more schools

    To boost girl-child education in Kebbi State, the government has established three new girls’ secondary schools across the state’s three senatorial districts.

    The Commissioner for Education, Ismaila Mumuni Kamba, said the government is also involving the private sector and non governmental organisaitions (NGOs) in this drive.

    Kamba spoke during the education summit/fair organised by the E2DMC, an online marketing outfit, in Lagos.

    He said: “That (girl-child education) is one area the Kebbi State government is making a very big move. Right now, we have established three new government girls’ secondary school as special girls’ secondary schools to cater for each of the three senatorial districts in the state. However, let me note that the new schools are not the only girls’ secondary schools.

    “There is also an intervention from one organisation to give assistance to girl-child education. The organisation selects a classroom out of the school and sponsors that class from that level to tertiary level.”

    On Almajiri education, Kamba told reporters that Kebbi operates five Almajiri schools that are also earmarked for tangea learning in which case, a particular institution is established to understudy almajiri education to combine it alongside western and vocational education.

    “You know there is a deliberate design for almajiri schools and right now in Kebbi, we have about five institutions that will cater for the almajiris and what they call tangea learning where a particular institution is established to observe these almajiris with their local mallams who come to teach them their lessons while they are being integrated into the modern education and other craftwork to equip them when they finish their studies,” he said.

    Kamba also said the state has established a resource centre where teachers can be trained in Information and Communication Technology (ICT). This, he said, was coming against the backdrop of the provision of computers by the government for public schools, which however lie unused due to inadequate instructors.

    “There are lots of computers in our secondary schools but when you get there, you find them lying idle because there are no instructors. In Kebbi, we have established a resource centre for teachers to come and learn ICT so as to apply the knowledge in the curriculum in their various schools,” he said.

    Describing the state of education in Kebbi as ‘fair,’ Kamba said the state is seeking more private partnership to help the government to address the myriad challenges facing edducation.

    “In Kebbi State, we are encouraging same (private partnership) because we have some individuals and organisations that are ready to come and contribute their quota at the local level. Everybody knows that education is capital-intensive so we have to manage the lean resources available to meet the basic requirement,” he said.

     

  • Guaranteeing future of the girl-child

    Guaranteeing future of the girl-child

    Govts urged to transform education

    The problem of the female folk, experts say, starts from their infancy. From childhood, the issue of their subjugation begins to manifest. From infancy, they face the problem of preference of the boy child over them. Again, on human development, the girl-child is also at the receiving end. Parents prefer sending their male children to school. The girls stay at home to carry out domestic chores.

    They also suffer the highest number of school-drop-out in Nigeria. Experts maintain that Nigeria accounts for the highest number of out-of-school girls in Africa.

    This has become a source of worry to individuals, civil society groups and governments at all levels. The international community is no less concerned about the nauseating phenomenon.

    In the circumstances, therefore, the United Nations Children Education Fund (UNICEF) has focused attention on the development of the girl child, with special consideration for their education.

    So, to mark the second International Day of the Girl Child, the UNICEF has urged governments at all levels to show more commitment to getting more girls enrolled into schools and improve the quality of learning for all children.

    Despite the decreasing number of girls that are out of school, too many around the world are still denied quality education and a chance to reach their full potential. UNICEF expressed its worry that there is terrifying evidence to the effect that even a single year of secondary school for a girl correlates with as much as a 25 per cent increase in her future earnings. But today, millions of girls are still out of school, including 31 million primary school-aged girls.

    The executive director of UNICEF, Anthony Lake said that “education can transform the lives of girls and strengthen their communities. Innovation can help us reach every girl by transforming education.”

    He further said that with its partners, UNICEF is exploring how technology can increase access to education for out-of-school girls and improve the quality of learning for every child.

    In South Africa, the TechnoGirls partnership among UNICEF, the government, and over 100 private sector companies is connecting 10,000 adolescent girls with mentors from the tech sector to boost their skills and job readiness.

    “Innovation is also helping governments and their partners to reach the-hardest-to-reach children who are at the greatest risk of being out of school. In Uganda, EduTrack is using SMS text messaging to connect students and schools with UNICEF, enabling them to report on learning, teacher quality, and violence in schools.

    “Innovation is not only about technology. It can mean embracing new ways to overcome other barriers that keep girls out of school, like improving sanitary facilities and keeping girls safe as they walk to and from school.

    Continuing, Mr. Lake said: “Innovation is giving us powerful new tools to reach and teach more girls than ever before.

    “To help more girls go to school, stay in school, and complete their learning, we need to keep learning ourselves, using these new tools, generating new ideas, and scaling up the most promising innovations.”

  • Girl, 18, in critical condition after gunmen’s rampage in Amaechi’s town

    The carnage unleashed on Ubima Community on that fateful May day claimed the lives of two persons – Temple Amadi and Michael Udoh. Although he was lucky to survive the shooting, Iheanyi Ohahuru is in critical condition and has father has cried out for financial assistance to enable him get the much needed treatment and medication.

    Narrating his ordeal, his father, Mr. Yakubu Ohahuru said the gunmen stormed the community at about 8:30pm on May 4th and unleashed mayhem on his son and other victims. The ‘sin’ of the young man was that he was sitting in front of his father’s house in Ubima, which is fast becoming a hotbed of crimes in the state.

    At the time of this report on Monday, Iheanyi was at the University of Port Harcourt Teaching Hospital (UPTH) where doctors are battling to save his life. But his father said he doesn’t know for how long he would continue to get medical attention as the family had run out of money to buy drugs.

    His medical records indicated that Iheanyi’s bladder was badly damaged by bullet. He is now forced to urinate through supportive pipe. His legs were also shattered by bullets and there are concerns that he may never walk again unless help comes his way really fast.

    When Niger Delta Report visited him at the UPTH he had emaciated and his father said the family had spent all the money they saved – over N500,000 to take care of his medical bills. Yakubu said he could no longer afford to pay the bill.

    He said, “My son was sitting in the front of my house when the gunmen entered the community around 8pm and shot two persons to death with many others wounded. I was surprised when I saw my son seriously bleeding on the floor that was after we heard gunshot. The condition we met him that day before we rushed him to the hospital was critical. We didn’t think he would survive it considering the quantity of blood that went out of him.”

    The other victims of the sporadic shooting, identified as Temple Amadi and Michael Udoh, have since been buried.

    But for the Ohahurus, the joy of their child’s survival is gradually turning into a nightmare.

    His father, in a hearty appeal, said, “I need help; I want well meaning Nigerian to assist my son so that the doctors can continue to give him treatment. We have spent more than half a million. The native bone doctor who was suppose to be massaging his bone left because the money we agreed with him was not favourable to him. His (native doctor’s) work is important now because the bullet also hit him on his two legs.”

    Ohahuru’s kinsman, who is also a human rights lawyer, Mr. Chigozi Ikpe-Orlu Orlu, slammed the state government for neglecting the lucky man and his son. He blamed the family’s predicament on porous security in the community and other parts of the state.

    He said: “The security of life and property is in the hand of government; the innocent boy was not fighting anybody or stealing when he was shot. But he is in the condition he is today because the government has failed to live up to its responsibility. You can imagine how gunmen will enter a community and start shooting everybody. That means the security officers posted to that area failed to do their job. I am calling on government of Rivers State to show a great concern by coming to his aid. He is entitled to be protected as a citizen of this country.”

     

  • Girl beheaded in Abia

    The beheading of a 17-year-old girl, Chioma Emeka Ikwuagwu, by unknown killers has caused tension between Ameke and Ukome communities in Umuahia North Local Government Area of Abia State.

    The late Chioma hails from Ameke but lived with her parents at Ukome, where she was killed.

    The bereaved community of Ameke is said to have given Ukome three days to produce their daughter. The notice expired on July 30, thus creating apprehension in Ukome community.

    Sources at Ukome said the deceased, who was an SSS3 student of Holy Rosary College, Umuahia, was the first of five children.

    Her father, Emeka Ikwuagwu, told reporters that on July 26, he went to collect some corn from one of his farm while his wife, Akunna, led some people to weed their other farm.

    Ikwuagwu said Chioma brought food to the farm for her mother and the workers at noon.

    He said: “She was asked to go to another farm to collect some vegetables for use later that evening and she never came back. It was the last time she was seen alive.

    “When she did not return, her mother went in search of her, only to discover blood everywhere at the farm and she alerted me.

    “I immediately organised a search party to look for her around the farm and her lifeless body was found at a nearby spot with palm fronds covering her.

    “When we found her, her jeans were drawn down close to her lap, she clutched tightly to her underwear with one hand with machete cuts on her other arm. Her head had been cut off.

    “We left the body like that so that the police could see it. They (police) came on Saturday morning to remove the body and deposited it at the City Gate Mortuary, Umuahia, after the Federal Medical Centre rejected it.”

    A source said upon hearing the news, Ukome youths searched the bush for the killers.

    He said: “They didn’t find anything. The father was compelled by tradition to report the incident to his kinsmen at Ameke, which he did.

    “On July 28, they marched on Ukome with wooden gongs and symbolic palm fronds, which they handed down to Ukome people, demanding their daughter or her killers.”

    It was gathered that a suspect has been arrested. The man is said to have threatened the family over a piece of land because of a piece of land willed to Ikwuagwu by his late grandmother.

    Police spokesman Geoffrey Ogbonna said the command was aware of the matter, but that they are still waiting for full details before starting investigations.

  • Of Yarima’s bill and the girl-child

    Granted, no nation is perfect. The type of leadership a nation gets has an influence on the progress or otherwise of the nation. Also, it is one of the yardsticks for measuring decency or immorality of the nation. Shrewdness in decision making, foresight in progressive resolutions and respect for people’s views on laws and governance are attributes of a decent nation.

    A few days ago, there was public outcry over a proposed law the Senate entertained, which is not in tandem with the citizens’ wishes. The proponents of the bill were seeking to get constitutional authority to force the girl-child into marriage at the age of 13.

    I watched the debates and drama on the floor of the upper chamber of the National Assembly. Unable to decipher the reason behind the move, I was compelled to question the audacity of Senator Ahmad Sani Yarima and his co-travellers in promoting a bill which will compel my younger sister in JSS 3 to marry, perhaps, an illiterate man at the age when she should be struggling to stabilise her life, at least academically.

    By entertaining the debate, in the first instance, the Senate took the nation back to an era defined by barbarism and unconventional civilisation. How does it sound for a nation that prides itself as a giant to be contending and debating the removal or retention of a preposterous law, which runs afoul with the rights of a girl-child?

    Yarima and his co-travellers remind me of some characters in Hollywood movies I watched lately. Indeed, they bear direct resemblance with the characters that, for one reason or another, fell into a slumber only to wake up centuries later when the society had advanced into civilisation. Dazed by the reality of the present period, their decisions and thoughts are not in tandem with the aspiration of the present society and the people. Rather than adapt to the new ways, they tried to take the whole society back to medieval times of barbarity.

    Truly, the foregoing depicts Yerima and his supporters; they have lost touch of the need of the present Nigeria and indeed, the aspiration of the people are grossly incompatible with theirs. It was said that the said proposed law had been part of the Constitution, but concealed by tissues of sections and subsections. But must a sufferer of leprosy refuse medication because he has lived with his ailment for a long time?

    I wonder if the supporters of the bill ever considered the short and long term consequences of their views on the girl child, especially in the light of the present awareness it has created. Did they consider the health hazard constituted by girl child marriage? Do they know of rectovaginal fistula and vesico vaginal fistula (VVF), which are medical consequences of early marriage? Do they feel the agony the sufferers of the ailments? Did they put into consideration the psychological implication of a teenager marrying to an old man?

    Did they put in prospective the fact that the controversial bill can promote child sale, trafficking and abuse? Are they unaware that the bill can increase the depraved libido of sexual perverts and pedophiles?

    Did it ever cross their minds that the bill, if passed, could result to a decline in girl-child education?

    Since the controversy started, my mind raced back to the thoughts of a distant relative, a woman, who I call Aunty. She used to tell me the stories of her life, which were filled with tales of unaccomplished dream. Aunty married at a tender age, when she was still nurturing the desire to become a civil engineer. She objected, but of course, the will of her guardians prevailed.

    She recounted then that older relatives forced her to smile and dance, even when as the marriage cut her dream short. She had dropped out of school. She could not be an engineer again because she married in her teenage years. The husband died and as a widow, she haboured regrets over botched dreams and marital disappointment. She also died and took the regrets to the grave.

    As an adult and a lady, who has been influenced by education, I am wise and have deeper understanding of life unlike when I was a child. I can take a decision in life which outcome I am solely responsible. And it is my submission that all teenage girls deserve the care of childhood, and the natural privilege of savouring every stage of their lives. They deserve the simple memory of childhood. They deserve to be nurtured as children and grow to fully realise their being at an age of maturity – the age of wisdom. Let no one force them into early marriage.

    The advocates of this ridiculous bill predicate their reason on religious teachings. However, our leaders must at all times be reminded that religion is a private affair. The Senate must always remember that Nigeria is a mixture of several ethnic nationalities; hence, its resolutions and decision must, at all times, be devoid of wishes or religious teachings of a tribe or a religious group.

    This, once again, brings a thorny issue of Sovereign National Conference (SNC) to the fore. There have been agitations from various quarters that we need a roundtable discussion on Nigeria’s sustainability. No time could be more apt than now to discuss the union properly.

    In the light of our language difference and cultural heterogeneity, it is my submission that Nigeria must be federalised now rather than later if we must not allow issues such as girl-child marriage to divide us. But until we have SNC, someone should nudge Yerima and his co-travellers to wake up from the medieval time and live in a civilised society.

     

    Uche, 500-Level Law, UNZIK

  • One of the contenders for my girl’s heart is a naval officer married to a German woman

    Please Aunty Ineed your advice. I’m 32, in love with a 19-year-old girl. The problem is that when I talked to her, she told me she loves me but she has two men in her life. The first guy is her secondary school boyfriend, he is 23yrs, learning a trade and he was the one that dis-virgined (deflowered) her when she was 18. The other guy is a navy officer and he is 50 years old, married to a German woman with a kid and he intends to marry her.  Aunty this girl promised to marry me, but I must give her some time to leave the other two guys since I don’t have a good job after my OND and her family does not have money and I want her to go to school and have her OND she must go out with them so as to get the money she needs for her school. Aunty I am confused what should I do now?

    Dear brother, they say the patient dog eats the fattest bone. In your own case, I doubt if there would be any bone left to eat at the end of this girl’s OND o. The naval officer is eating his own bone and the other guy too is having his fill and if you look at it, both of them have the right to eat as much as they can. The naval officer is obviously the one paying most of her bills while she has fond memories of the other guy, so they’re share holder. Smart girl; she has told you that she can’t leave any of them because of their contributions to her life, so the choice is yours to make.

    If you were my brother, I’d be so shocked that you could still be thinking of waiting for her after her revelations! You’re indeed a patient man. Just be warned the naval officer won’t be this patient if he finds out about you and the other girl. And as for the poor woman in the man’s life who has to share her man with a girl who shares her bed with other man, I can only pray she doesn’t get infected along the line.

    There are so many good girls out there who would work extra hard to make extra money for school fees. Not all girls are dogs so it doesn’t have to be this girl even if she is the most beautiful woman alive. Watch it o.