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Tag: happy home

  • Vital forces for a happy home (4)

    DEAR Reader, HAPPY EASTER TO YOU! The death and resurrection of Christ will not be a waste in your life in Jesus’ name! We have examined some vital forces for a happy home. They include: Your Vibrant Relationship with God, Love and, Excitement and Gratitude. This week, I will be sharing on how to Rekindle the Fire and Keep Passion Alive in your home.

    By Daily Maintenance

    Marriage, like Spiritual re-birth takes regular maintenance. You might be tempted to think that once you are married, the work is over. Actually, the work is just beginning. If marriage doesn’t have daily maintenance, it will fall apart much faster than any machine. If we make it a spiritual discipline to love God and our spouses, we will find true happiness. Also, to maintain your marriage, you must continue to do those things you did in courtship, before you got marriage.  You can still fall in love again.

    By Spending Time Together

    Learn to spend time with your spouse. You need to create time for fun. You can go out on a date, stroll together, play games, etc (Genesis 26:8, Songs of Solomon 2:4). You must make yourself available to your spouse, whenever he or she needs you. No matter how choked up you are in activities, you must create room for your spouse by making yourself available (Ephesians 5:24). Similar to conversation, time spent together also drops rapidly after the honeymoon. Life becomes busy. Bills need to be paid; the home must be maintained and the children require attention. But all of life’s demands should not be at the expense of spending quality time together.

    You need to schedule outings, as if you were dating again. Do not allow months to pass without spending at least several hours together on a date. When you begin to do this, you will become intimate with your spouse. One of the reasons some marriages fail is a lack of intimacy.

    Little Things that will spark off your love for your spouse

    Remember your first dates together. If possible, re-enact that first date. Nothing seems to spark the flames as to remember your first fun times together.

    Court again. Do what you did to win the affections of your mate. Spend some time alone together. This is especially important, if you have children. It is essential for you as a couple to date and for your children to see you together.

    Make time for each other. In today’s busy society, days can go by without couples spending time together.

    Another way to spend time together is to practise “couch time.” Spend at least 15 minutes sitting together on the couch without the children. If you have children, stress the importance of your “Mommy and Daddy time” together. Not only do you have precious moments together, but your children will gain security knowing that their mommy and daddy enjoy spending time together.

    Show appreciation for the little things. An occasional card, flowers, meaningful gift or even just a simple “thank you” can mean so much.

    Say, “I love you” often. Reveal you care by your words and your actions.

    Always give your spouse a goodbye hug and kiss, before leaving in the morning.

    At the end of the day, greet your spouse with a hug, kiss and “how was your day?”

    Take time to really communicate and understand your spouse. Share your feelings with each other.

    Remain faithful in thoughts and deeds. Purity before marriage and fidelity after marriage is not only healthy from a physical viewpoint (prevention of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases), but from a marital perspective, as well. Nothing destroys a marriage quicker than infidelity.

    God made sex pleasurable. The married couple has nothing to be ashamed of; so, enjoy it!

    Don’t belittle your spouse, especially in front of others. Respect your spouse, even when you disagree.

    Wives, build up your husband’s ego: honour and respect him.

    Husbands, treat your wife like the queen you want her to be.

    Christian couples should read the Bible, pray and attend functions together.

    The grace to give it all it takes to enjoy a happy home is only available to those who are bona fide children of God. You can assume that status by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Vital forces for a happy home (2)

    DEAR Reader, It is a wonderful thing to be in God’s presence today! You are most welcome to this week’s teaching. Last week, I started teaching on the above subject, and gave you one of the vital forces for building a sweet home – Vibrant Relationship With God.

    This week, we are going to examine two other forces that make for a glorious, sweet and happy home. I refer to them as nuggets for Christians, who desire to reap all the blessings of the marriage covenant. These forces are: LOVE and EXCITEMENT

    Love is a potent force in the quest for a sweet home. It is the magnetic force that binds couples together. It is a vital force for sweet relationship. No wonder, Mother Theresa (Late), a Noble Peace Prize winner, when asked, “What can you do to promote world peace?” She answered, “Let everyone go home and love their families.” Love is the solution to every marital crisis! The Word of God says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

    The above Scripture enumerates the characteristics of love. You can’t claim to love your spouse or family members, when any of these is missing in your attitude towards them.

    The opposite of love is selfishness. This is a plague that has destroyed many homes, and rendered many innocent children homeless in the society today. It is an abnormal affection for self and pursuit of selfish desires at the expense of your spouse or other members of your family.

    Selfishness is one of the traps of the devil; so, if you desire a sweet home, you must not give room to it. Maintain a standard of self-control and discipline in your home, by running your home in accordance with the Word of God.

    Another plague that prevents love from flourishing in most Christian homes is anger. It carries very costly consequences. It has ruined the destiny of most homes. It steals the seeds of love from homes, and replaces it with the seeds of discord, hatred and strife. Watch it! Stop it before it rubs you of a sweet home!

    God’s remedy for anger is, Let every man be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to be angry (James 1:5). You should, therefore, encourage your family members to love one another, so that everyone can escape the traps of the enemy and enjoy the blessings of God as a family.

    Excitement

    Joy and excitement are the spices of life. Unfortunately, they are the major things lacking in most homes today. Some couples even find it difficult to smile at one another. But the Word of God says: Rejoice, and again I say rejoice (Philippians 4:4). The home is not meant for silence and dull atmosphere, resulting from cold wars between husband and wife, or lack of love between family members.  The home is meant to be a place of excitement.

    Look at this testimony:

    “I have been married for over 12 years, but what I am enjoying now, I’ve never enjoyed since I got married. I thank God for His Word to me through you. You taught … and laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just as the church submits to Christ. My understanding opened and I told God, ‘Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key. Ever since that day, I have been enjoying what all my fasting, binding and all couldn’t deliver to me. I thank God that now it’s like I am wedded anew. Just yesterday morning, to confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque for one hundred thousand Naira, which I cashed this morning. I now enjoy peace, love and harmony. Adebayo, L

    The Word of God say: If I make you sad, who is going to make me happy? You are the ones to do it, and how can you if I cause you pain? (2 Corinthians 2:2 TLB). God created the family in such a way that the joy and pain of each member affects other family members. You are the one to create excitement in your home. Instead of being a problem to your family, why not create an excitement? Don’t give room to sadness in your home.

    In addition, you need to give your life to Jesus Christ in order to receive grace for building a sweet home. If you are ready to give your life to Christ, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Vital forces for a happy home

    DEAR Reader, Everybody wants a happy home, but only few homes today are truly happy. The home is at the very centre of satan’s attack. He tries to introduce all manner of evil into the homes. Marriages are facing tremendous pressures today, as satan is busy attempting to break up homes. Divorce is rampant. In many homes, where divorce has not occurred, there is much sorrow and unhappiness. But we have hope in Christ. God’s Word says: Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place (2 Corinthians 2:14).

    The only hope for strengthening the home and marriage relationship is to know and to apply the principles of the Word of God. Jesus Christ makes a wonderful difference in any home. But you must know Him as your personal Saviour, and do things His way. The purpose of this article is to share some of the life-transforming principles of the Bible – with the prayer that as they are put into practice, marriages will be strengthened, lives will be changed, couples will re-unite and homes will be rebuilt in Jesus’ name.

    Is your marriage and home fulfilling and satisfying? How can you enjoy the blessings of a happy home? The hope for a happy marriage and home is a vibrant relationship with God.

    The Bible says:  Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain (Psalm 127:1). A city may have a watchman or even many watchmen, and take all kinds of precautions against attack but if the Lord is not in His rightful place (and if the Lord is not guarding and protecting that city), then everything else they might do for protection is in vain. It is the same in building home and marriage. You may do many things in building a marriage, but if you are not allowing the Lord to be in control and to build your home, all is in vain. A vibrant relationship with God is the cornerstone that holds a home together.

    Tips on Vibrant Relationship with God

    • The vibrancy of man’s relationship with God, determines the vibrancy of his relationship with men, especially his family members.
    • Difficulty in relating with family members is an indication of a non-existent relationship with God.

    How Does Your Relationship with God Help You to Build a Happy Home?

    • Remember that your relationships mould your life and destiny; therefore, who you relate with is who you become.
    • God’s nature rubs of on you; you are injected with His kind of personality. God loves sacrificially and unconditionally; so, loving your family members in the same way becomes a way of life for you.
    • An understanding of the fact that “All Things Are Yours” dawn on you, a crisis-free family inclusive.
    • You imbibe God’s mentality. God thinks good of us; hence, your thoughts about your spouse, children, in-laws, etc, would also become good.
    • You receive God’s wisdom for discretion to know how to handle and relate with everyone in your family.
    • You become godlier. The godlier you become the more godly your family becomes, and the farther away crisis will be from you and your family.
    • God supplies His unfailing help and grace, which man needs to live a crisis-free life with his family.

    Love and Respect for God

    If you love and respect God, love and respect for and from your spouse would be easy to achieve.

    • Love and respect for your husband/wife, will become second nature to you.
    • A woman who loves God will receive a harvest of love from her husband.
    • A woman who respects God will find it natural to respect her husband.
    • A man who respects God will receive a harvest of respect from his wife.
    • A man who loves God will find it natural to love his wife.

    Communing

    Communing is the art of having intimate conversation, while passing across information, feelings, thoughts and emotions to another person. The Bible says: Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof: so he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured (Proverbs 27: 18).

    You can’t claim to know someone, who you don’t commune with.  Communication is the live wire of any relationship.

    Having a happy home, starts with being connected to God.  You get connected by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Building a happy home

    Building a happy home

    Book review

    Title: Naked-The Mystery of Openness in Marriage

    Author: Noruwa Joseph Edokpolo

    Reviewer: Prof Olugbenga Ogunmoyela

     Publishers: Book brands International Pagination: 83

    “We are ashamed of everything that is real about us; ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinions, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our NAKED skins “ – George Bernard Shaw (Irish Playwright, Nobel Prize Winner and Co-Founder of the London School of Economists, 1925).

    We live in a world today in which the above quote is still as true as it was in 1925. In an age when even many Christian marriages are under serious threats and the institution, as God ordained it, is facing serious challenges unprecedented on a global scale. This 83-page book written by Pastor Noruwa Joseph Edokpolo, is a timely, practical and persuasive illustration of how through being ‘naked’ with our spouses in the various dimensions of marriage, we can enjoy a considerable breath of fresh air and renewal, turn-around or restoration. It is presented in flowing prose; a direct and straight forward everyday language that readers will enjoy from cover to cover.

    The author presents the reader, including counsellors and counsellees, with a thought-provoking companion, on practical principles and solutions for building a happy Christian home, through an exciting light-hearted, metaphorical use of ‘nakedness’ illustrated with deep spiritual insights. It is a language style that is characteristically deliberate and simple, yet could only have been borne out of the rich experiences of a counselor, change catalyst, facilitator and business coach like our own Pastor Noruwa!

    The word ‘Naked’ in the book brings to mind the many meanings of the word according to the Oxford Dictionary (British and World English). As an adjective, it refers to a person or part of the body without clothes, totally uncovered; open to view and unconcealed. It could also be of a tree, plant, or animal without leaves hairs or scales; or of a person with no defense, protection or shield, exposed to harm and totally vulnerable. As an attribute, the word may be used to describe the feelings or behavior expressed openly and undisguised. For example, it may refer to an unpleasant behavior that is not controlled or limited, or it may be used to describe a statement or observation communicated straight without addition, concealment, disguise or embellishment.

    From the introduction, the reader is invited to take responsibility and introspect, allowing the holy spirit to lead; to believe in possibilities; being ready to look inwards because if for example a man instead of reading and standing ‘naked’ is still busy rationalising and pointing one finger at his wife like Adam did in Genesis 3:12, “four fingers are pointing at him”! In fact, the Bible description of being ‘naked, but not ashamed’ in Gen.2: 25, is that it is in this state that the couple will be able to discuss anything under the sun with each other without any inhibitions.

    In Chapter one, the author prepares the mind of the reader on what to expect from the book; how frictions can disappear in marriage, what will enhance trust and submission; how to build a home that will enjoy peace and joy like a river; and how to develop a real partnership based on trust and love experiencing daily renewal. Chapter two outlines the characteristics of an exemplary ‘naked’ man like

    Abraham, who trusted God with all his heart, was “God-like” to the children, lived sacrificially by putting his household first, after God at all times, and above all led his family with unusual humility even from his position of strength, just like the example of Jesus Christ who washed his disciples’ feet.

    In a world of paradoxes and complexities, the author invites the reader to the need for ‘naked’ living; always doing according to your capacity without any pretentions, without the ego-driven pressure of always trying to impress your spouse or relatives by over-reaching yourself, as is common even among many Christians today who promise what they know they have no capacity to deliver. It shows the two sides of the author as an ‘experienced marriage counselor and a deep-rooted family man, painting graphical details of how to satisfy your spouse sexually and being satisfied; and above all, how to stay away from the temptations of life by always focusing your mind only on those things that you know God will approve especially when you are away from home.

    In Chapter three, the key principles for achieving this state of harmony in marriage are laid out – mutual respect and honour; natural beauty, both inside and outside, devoid of any ‘blotted’ imaginations and distrust; the virtues of diligence and industry; confidence, comfort and contentment in and with whatever God had given you or done in your life; being comfortable to ‘undress’ before your spouse without any airs; setting life ‘goals and priorities’ together and above all, investing all the ‘time and heart’ possible in your marriage.

    The author lists the hindrances to nakedness and affirms in Chapter four, that being “totally naked’ is ‘tough in reality’ but can only be achieved through a focused determination to overcome the barriers of sin (with the examples of pride of life, rebellion, stubbornness, hard heartedness, unforgiveness, trust-destroyers, inadequate verbal and non-verbal communication); unfulfilled sexual desires; the recurring ghost of past indiscretions; uncontrolled spending and poor management of family finances by your spouse.

    The next three chapters then give vivid details of the benefits of ‘naked living’ in marriage. These include a home and life of peace and infectious joy; an exemplary Christian home where speedy answers come to ‘naked’ prayers and your heart’s desires; and the wisdom of establishing a culture of three different prayer levels in the home – individual, with spouse and the whole family together. The author, however, cautions that a ‘wonderful marriage’ is not necessarily ‘problem-free’ but must at all times be one of unending desire for togetherness and romance, in which honouring God is central and where to the bystander, there is transparency “What you see is what you get’

    There are copious references to King Solomon’s alluring romance with his virgin wife, expressed in the Book of Songs of Solomon, through verbal and non-verbal communication, the place of preparation of heart and body with “pleasant smells,” in enhancing intimacy; and the age-old virtues of virginity which have been lost today to man’s sexual perversions. The author re-inforces the point that giving and receiving of yourselves requires a transparent nakedness and how the foreplay of respect, honour and adoration brings out the best in every couple, drawing richly on Solomon’s captivating descriptions of his experiences.

    In chapter 8, the author draws the curtain with the ‘Final Words’ on the benefits of this ‘new’ culture of nakedness, if adopted, both to the initiated and the uninitiated; the culture that glorifies God and is guaranteed to give you peace of mind no matter your background or status. He advocates that this is a culture that must be firmly anchored on the immutable words of God in the Bible. The reader is encouraged to see the futility of following the pervasive “herd mentality” of today’s world.

    Overall, the book contains very few and minor proof-reading errors which the reader may not notice, but will obviously be addressed in subsequent editions (e.g. page 50, delete ‘made’; page 77, misplaced colon). I want to thank Pastor Noruwa for inviting me to do this review. I am not sure what prompted him to pick me, although I know that I am God’s special favourite from the incredible peace and joy that I have found in marriage. I hope that whatever it is that he saw, it aligns in some way with his concept of ‘nakedness’; after all, he had been my pastor for over six years. Nevertheless, because we are daily reminded of the words of Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 10:12 that says “therefore, let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall”, we must of necessity continue to see ourselves as “work in progress”, looking in the mirror daily, until Jesus comes.

    In concluding this review, let me leave you with these ‘naked’ quotes: “The naked truth is always better than the best lie” -Ann Landers. “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”-The Holy Bible, John 8: 32.

    May we all find the naked truth about our homes and marriages as we read this book and may this lead to the reinvigoration or restoration, whichever may be the case, of the joy and peace that is our divine right to have in our marriages in Jesus name.