The Nation Newspaper

Tag: hurts

  • ‘Missing First Class hurts’

    ‘Missing First Class hurts’

    Chiamaka Obiadi wanted to be a petrochemical engineer. But, one morning in her final year in secondary school, the dedicated science student decided she was going to study law. The 2015 alumnus of the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka (UNIZIK) tells ROBERT EGBE why she was sad to make double Second Class Upper.

    Family

    I am Chiamaka Obiadi. I’m from Neni in Anaocha Local Government Area of Anambra State. My parents are teachers. Being the last child and the only
    girl with four elder brothers, people easily assume I had it rosy. (Laughs).

    My mother is quite the disciplinarian. However, in retrospect, I would say her approach helped to shape me to the woman I’m becoming today. I lost my dad when I was barely two, so, I have no memories of him. But from all I’ve been told, we have a lot in common. He was an academic to the core, read voraciously and had a strong personality!

    School

    I attended the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka (UNIZIK) and graduated in July 2015 with a Second Class Upper (2.1). I also finished with a Second Class Upper at the Nigerian Law School, Abuja campus in September 2016, a very ‘painful’ result at the time.

    I wanted to be a Petrochemical Engineer

    Interestingly, I was a science student and performed well in the core science courses, especially chemistry. I wanted to be a Petrochemical Engineer (Laughs). But when I assessed that my strength in mathematics may not sustain that ambition, I had a dilemma in choosing between Pharmacy and Medicine.

    Why I switched from sciences to arts

    The decision to study law was really what I can attribute to divine providence. I considered several things before making the choice, including the fact that I write well, I have a good command of English and had represented my secondary school in numerous debates where I excelled. Also, I never had a genuine interest in medical studies beyond that it was what most bright science students were expected to study. So, I felt I could as well take things a notch higher.  So, I woke up one morning, a few days to the deadline for the Senior School Certificate Examination (SSCE) registration, and told my mother I was switching to arts because I wanted to study law. She was quite supportive and came over to school to facilitate things for me. A lot of intensive studying to catch up and readjustments to the Art curriculum, and the rest is history.

    Call to Bar

    It was hugely celebrated. Everyone contributed their quota. My mother was at the forefront of all the preparations and ensured I had a grand one. My family travelled from different cities to Abuja just to be there and I haven’t felt more honoured. Two aunts of mine surprised me that day. In fact, they were more excited than I was and I always like to say that they, together with the friends that have stuck with me over the years, are the winds beneath my sail.

    I was sad to make a Second Class Upper

    Law school was a very robust experience and very instrumental to my formation. I’ll always cherish it. I was very active in group and class activities and, despite the intense academic workload, I accepted an appointment to the academics committee of the Students Representative Council and chaired the Civil Litigation team. I was also the Secretary, Catholic Students’ Association. I made quite a couple of friends and acquaintances and I was quite visible in class, so the pressure to make a First Class was high. Already I was aiming for and working towards it, so, I sincerely felt down when the result came out and I made a 2.1. More so, my breakdown showed I got a 4As and 1B+ so it was a narrow miss. But in all, the experiences were richly rewarding and I would not trade them for anything.

    Law school marking scheme is reasonably fair

    In all sincerity, the marking scheme can work great ‘injustice’ especially when one’s lowest grade makes a great difference in what one would ordinarily make. But what really is justice? If a set of people can satisfy the strict requirements for making a particular grade under the same environment, then it’s reasonably fair. Again, I’m of the school of thought that while examination may not be the best test of knowledge, until we devise a better means, we’re stuck with it.

    Most memorable day in court

    This was the day I was commended by one of the stern judges of the Abuja High Court. I appeared alone against a very senior counsel and I strongly opposed his application to recall a witness. My argument was upheld. In fact, counsel joined my Lord in expressing his satisfaction at my performance.

    Marrying a lawyer

    Before now, I would have screamed an unequivocal no (Laughs). Presently, I wouldn’t mind at all. I believe lawyers understand themselves well and I know more than a handful that run successful homes. But being a lawyer will not give the prospective Mr. Right an edge anyway.

    Day a judge called me unserious

    My most embarrassing day in court? A judge once called me unserious because I filed a Final Written Address way out of time even after complying with the Rules by paying the default fees. I felt terrible.

    What I would change about law

    I would rather change a few things about the court system such as revamping the system of filing to make it seamless and creating an efficient communication system for Court Registrars to ensure that the time of lawyers and litigants is not wasted.

    Salary can hardly make you comfortable

    Remuneration is a general problem (for young lawyers) especially in this field, and being that firms are private establishments, there’s only so much regulation that can be made to improve the pay system. But they can do better regardless.

    However, the home truth we shouldn’t lose sight of is that salary is hardly enough to make one very comfortable financially. As a National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) Associate, I was able to make do with my monthly salary and allowance, including the small fees earned from Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) briefs. With the service year being over, I see more prospects to earn better.

    The future

    My plan is a continuum. So, I’ll continue to fine-tune and streamline the ones already made. In the nearest future though, I’m starting a successful business, continuing with law practice, getting an LLM in Tax/IT/Commercial Law and championing social causes, particularly girl child empowerment and making education accessible for pupils in rural areas.

     

     

  • She loves him, but he hurts her

    It was the happiest day in Shade’s life because she had a date with her Romeo. But deep down, she didn’t really know how to handle this relationship that was one-sided. She loves Biodun so much but he was always telling her lies, he was always elusive, always getting angry at the slightest provocation, as well as doing a number of things that hurt and make her sad.

    A lot of times, it is difficult to rationalise the things that go on in some relationships. Most times, the heart that should make her heart happy turns out to be the one causing her pain, the blackmailer and the one who sees nothing good in all she does. He actually goes to town painting the love of his life black and you wonder if there was love in the relationship in the first place.

    Nobody loves to be unloved. What a woman desires is love, attention, as well as appreciation. She puts in her best and waiting for her Romeo to go to town to tell everyone who cares to listen that he has found a priceless jewel in words and deed. Surprisingly, what she gets is shock and not a pleasant surprise. First, tales of a number of escapades with characters, known and unknown, hit her like shockwaves.

    Just while she is recovering from this, he confides in some of her friends that she bewitched him and lured him into a relationship. Now that he is wiser, he desperately needs his freedom, freedom to be with hearts that are more loving, hearts that know where the mumu buttons are located.

    Tears? No need for that! It probably won’t change anything. The truth about the emotional terrain is that the rules are flexible, personal and sometimes, you just do not have any control over it. You can even compare it with making sense of something that doesn’t make sense. After all, how else do you explain loving someone who doesn’t treat you lovingly?

    There are times when the heart you cherish goes a step further to justify the unfair treatment that you are getting. Unfortunately, being with someone who doesn’t love you the way we need or deserve can be a great source of frustration. Just because you love such a person, you continue with the hope that, one day, he or she would change. Sadly, they never really change and they may actually make you do the things you never planned to do.

    Interestingly, it is usually better to look at the mind of the abuser rather than the victim. This makes it easy to recognise what the problem is, as well as the signs of abuse. As you take a deep look at relationships in this category, you would discover that the abuser is also a victim of some sort. A personality that probably has a complex; has been abused or feels bad about something. You would also discover how those who abuse the people they claim they love and tend to brainwash their victims by taking over their personalities.

    Research has shown one of the main reasons why people put up with abuse in their relationships is pity. The person who is being abused often feels sorry for the person who is abusing them and this can be hard for others to understand.

    They surround, or attempt to surround, that person with themselves and they try to keep everyone and everything else away from their “core” for fear of losing it. Abusive partners often hide the fact that they are weak and vulnerable. They replace their “core” self with the “core” of their partner.

    The problem with a relationship like this is that the person will feel threatened by anything they do not feel in control of. If their “core” tries to have a life of “its” own, they feel threatened.

    Abusive people inspire pity because, when they are at the risk of losing their partner, their panic and pain is massive. This is because, for them, they are literally in danger of losing themselves and their whole world starts to fall apart.

    Abusive people hurt the people they love the most because in their effort to try to control, they attempt to stop the person with whom they are enmeshed from being an individual separate from them. So they try to control every aspect of their life, including who they talk to, what they do in their free time, who their friends are, and what they believe and think.

    The more entrenched an abusive person’s partner becomes in their “core” the more control they need over that person. They begin trying to control every part of the other person’s life up to, and including, their mind. They often try to replace the thoughts and feelings of their partner by, in a sense, brainwashing them.

    One of the most important skills in life to create harmonious relationships, reduce stress and enhance emotional awareness is empathy. Being empathetic requires skill and can be tricky at times. When you relate to another person’s feelings and needs, you build connections.

    It is also important to note that the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. You also know that the best way to avoid getting what you don’t want is to say “NO”.

    What happens frequently is that the selfish partner dominates the relationship with their needs and wants and burdens their partner with loads of expectations.

  • Darkness hurts

    Darkness hurts

    There is a lot to grieve over in Dutse, Bwari Area Council of the Federal Capital Territory (FCT). Residents raise millions of naira and hand it over to the local power distribution firm, yet, they often have no power. GBENGA OMOKHUNU reports

    Darkness falls everywhere but in Dutse Baupuma, a community in the FCT, it brings with it dreadful realities. In hot weather, no one sleeps comfortably, and this has a toll on their health.

    That is not all.

    There is also a sense of exploitation, if not outright fraud.

    How?

    The residents of Dutse Baupuma in Bwari Area Council said they were told to raise millions of naira with which the distribution firm would procure just what was  needed to supply them power.

    They did, managing to contribute N5m, which they allegedly gave to the firm. Their challenges remain, though. No power. No hope.

    They have had enough and are on the verge of marching on the local power distribution company in charge of the area.

    The residents urged the firm to fulfil the promise they made to the people on provision of constant electricity for the community.

    The residents, on the verge of a protest to the power distribution company, said that towards the end of last year, circulars were distributed in the community directing residents to contribute N5,000 per house for the purchase of a new power transformer and cables to boost supply.

    According to Mr. Simon Chukwuma, a resident of the community, residents of over 1,000 houses contributed the said amount totalling over N5 million.

    Chukwuma said since the contribution was made, power to the community remained epileptic and nothing much has been done to justify the money collected from members of the community.

    “Many of us are aggrieved because it seems that the people that promised us constant power supplies were not sincere. Imagine, when they came to us to urge us to contribute the money, they promised that they would ensure that we have light every day, because, they will get another transformer for us and replace the electric wires on the poles.

    •A power transformer
    •A power transformer

    “Although, they brought the transformer, they did not do anything about the wires that had been on the poles for ages. As a result of this, fuses on the transformer get spoilt on a daily basis and when they spoil, they want us to beg them before they rectify it, after we have paid for the services.

    “Since this year, the way we have been suffering of power failure is something we never experienced even before we contributed money for the power distribution company to rectify the electricity situation in the community. After each household in the community had struggled to pay N5, 000, we are still suffering. This is what we call corruption and it has to be corrected,” he said.

    Mrs. Gloria Alhassan, another resident who spoke with our reporter explained that the way things are going in the community,  members of staff of the power distribution company do not care about the well-being of the residents.

    Since the beginning of this year, light will go off for up to three days and when restored, it will not last for up to five hours.

    “It is just about three days ago that the power supply has been stable. But, before now, it was as if the power distribution company had forgotten about our community. The meat and soup we put in the freezer get spoilt on a daily basis, because of prolonged power failure. Despite the money we contributed, we are experiencing power failure more than any community in Abuja,” she said.

    Commenting on the issue, a staff of the power distribution company, who preferred anonymity because he was not competent to speak on the matter, explained that there may be some electricity problems which have been thwarting the efforts of the distribution company to ensure stable power supply in the community, adding that it is not the decision of the company to make residents of the community be in darkness. He promised that the problem will soon be rectified.

  • Mikel confesses: It hurts not to score

    Mikel confesses: It hurts not to score

    JOHN OBI MIKEL admits he cannot see an end to one of the longest goal droughts in the Premier League.

    Chelsea’s Nigeria midfield star, 25, has not scored for over five years, a run that stretches back 168 games.

    In fact, he’s only scored four since his arrival from Norwegian club Lyn six years and 251 games ago.

    Yet such is his form this season, Chelsea supporters are fast taking back into their hearts the player who, in recent seasons, they called Marmite Man – because you either love or hate him. Mikel, under Stamford Bridge manager Roberto Di Matteo, has blossomed.

    He is more confident on the ball, is making more forward passes and even dribbling past opponents on occasion.

    He often muscles out and dominates forwards, breaks up play and starts off attacking moves.

    Mikel shrugs off his goal drought because he sees his role primarily as offering defensive cover, although he does admit being hurt by critics who seize upon his lack of goals.

    He said: “It does hurt a bit. I’m not always in a position to score, so I don’t score, that’s the truth. I’ve always had to sit back and keep the shape.

    “When I go forward, nobody will cover for me so the midfield is open. I hope people see this.

    “I think I would have to change my position slightly to score more goals.”

    Di Matteo also believes Mikel is one of the club’s troupers.

    He said: “I don’t know why Mikel is underrated by the media or the fans. He is highly rated by us and he plays a position where you’re a bit of an unsung hero.

    “He does the dirty work which is not recognised because the goalscorers get the recognition. But he is very important for our team and we are very happy to have him here.”