SHORTLY before he departed his home to join in the battle against the Boko Haram in the North East, Sergeant Adebayo called his wife, Modinat Adebayo, and handed over his bank accounts and other documents to her. He also asked his wife to take care of the children in his absence.
It was a very emotional parting for husband and wife as the soldier left his family on that fateful day.
“Before my late husband left for the national assignment in which he died, he called me and asked me to take care of the children and handed over to me all his bank details,” Adesayo said as she struggled to hold back tears.
Interestingly, Sergeant Adebayo was initially heading for Mali, but his troop was later diverted to Borno when the battle in that part of the country needed more soldiers.
“His team was initially meant to go to Mali on a peace keeping mission. But on the way, they were suddenly asked to head for Maiduguri.
“When they got to Sokoto, he called to inform me that they had been asked to move to Maiduguri instead of Mali. When he said that, I screamed and wondered why. He calmed me down and assured that all would be well. He asked me to simply put him in prayer. That was the end. I didn’t know he would leave me so soon,” Adebayo tearfully recalled her last moments with her late husband who paid the supreme price fighting the menace of Boko Haram.
Asked how she received the news of her husband’s death, Modinat said: “His colleagues at the 9 Brigade came to the house to inform me about his demise. When I saw them coming, I didn’t suspect anything because I wasn’t expecting anything. I didn’t know anything about barrack life until I got married to my late husband. Life has never been smooth for widows.”
Remembering and talking about her late husband’s death is one task that Hajira Ibrahim always finds tough to handle. Making her talk was as tough as making a mother talk about the death of her child.
And when she mustered the strength to speak, tears gathered around her eyes and she waited to gather composure. She had hardly started narrating the story when she started sobbing. “My late husband, a sergeant died in 2014 during an official assignment aimed at putting an end to insurgency in the North East.
Shortly before he was declared missing in combat, Sergeant Ibrahim spoke with his wife and reassured her of his safety.
“Till today, the military authorities are still saying that he is missing, but a friend of his called me after some time to inform me that he was dead. He was drafted into the mission in 2013. I spoke with him in August 2014 before the information came that he is dead. When we spoke, he told me that the situation over there wasn’t easy and that he wasn’t feeling okay.”
Her husband also told her that he would soon be home. But that was not to be, as he died after that conversation with his wife. “He told me that he would soon be back home, but he never came back,” Hajiya said amidst another round of tears.
However, despite her harrowing experience, Hajiya Ibrahim is determined to make the best of whatever opportunity comes her way. Though she works as a cleaner presently, her quest for higher education in life has never waned.
“I am a cleaner in a school, but I am presently pursuing further studies to improve my life and that of my children. I have two children and not finding it easy taking care of the family my husband left behind. Nobody cares to help. Nobody gives any support. It has only been by the grace of God that we have been carrying on.”
Modinat Adebayo and Hajiya Ibrahim were just two of the numerous widows of soldiers who trooped to the Lieutenant General Tukur Yusuf Buratai Sports Complex, at the Nigerian Army Cantonment, 9 Brigade, Ikeja, Lagos to be empowered by the Nigeria Legion.
Expectedly, it was an emotion-laden occasion for the beneficiaries and indeed everybody who turned up to witness the event. For the widows, it was a mixture of joy and sorrow. It was joyful because their lives were touched by the gesture of the men of the Nigerian Legion. But it also reminded the women of the loss of their husbands.
Modinat and Hajiya were part of the 15 widows who got a grinding machine each as part of the efforts by the Nigerian Legion, Lagos State, to ease the burden inflicted on the women by the death of their breadwinners.
Elated by the empowerment, Modinat lauded the Nigerian Legion for their support. “I am joyous to be a beneficiary of this empowerment scheme. It goes a long way to confirm God’s love and kindness in my life. Initially, I didn’t want to attend the programme. I was highly reluctant to come, but the Spirit of God just nudged me to attend and to the glory of His name, I have been blessed. I thank the organisers for remembering people like us who have nobody to look up to,” she said.
It was the same feeling for Hajiya, who said: “I am extremely elated by the assistance rendered to me by the Nigerian Legion. I sincerely appreciate them for stretching their hands of assistance to a poor widow like me, especially in this period that the economy is in recession.”
Harriet Fabian, 55, is another widow that will not forget the Boko Haram issue in a hurry.
With the benefit of hindsight, she said: “My husband died in 2014 in the course of fighting against Boko Haram. He was a Staff Sergeant and he served for 33 years before his death. I had six children for him. Life has been tough since he left us. I used to sell cooked rice but I stopped doing that since the price became extremely high. I have been doing nothing for sometime because of that. The challenges we are going through are massive and not in any way funny.
“They are not one can merely talk about. It is somebody who is going through the same challenge that can really understand the enormity of the physical, psychological and emotional burden. In all, we give glory to God for not abandoning us. Part of His loving kindness towards us is the help we have received today from the Nigerian Legion. God is indeed the husband to widows because it is when somebody is in this condition that she will realise that she is on her own. I am highly grateful to the Nigerian Legion once again. May God reward their generousity.”
However, not all the widows who befitted from the gesture lost their husbands to the Boko Haram insurgency. Some others who spoke with our men said their husbands either died in auto crashes in the course of their duties or after complaining of one sickness or the other.
The Nation’s encounter with Cecelia Okechukwu, one of the beneficiaries, triggered a deeper emotion. She instantly betrayed emotion when we cornered her. Shortly after the hubby, Sergeant Cletus Okechukwu, died, she developed strange pains in her two legs and was asked to pay N1.6 million to carry out surgery on each leg. In spite of her challenges, Cecelia never gave up. Today, she has single-handedly raised their children up to the university level.
She said: “I developed sharp pains in my legs shortly after my husband died. I went to traditional bone setters who did all they could but the pains didn’t go. After that, I went to Igbobi. There, the doctor told me that it would cost N1.6 million to carry out surgery on each leg. I don’t have such money. They gave me a crutch to be moving about. They also always give me pain reliever to suppress the pains each time they come.
“I am very happy to receive this support today. It shows that God loves and cares for me. I call on Him all the time and He has never disappointed me. My husband, Sergeant Cletus Okechukwu, died in an accident at Apapa.
“Life has been extremely difficult for the family since he departed but with the help of God, we have been surviving. Things were particularly difficult because his demise was untimely. It was not that he went to the battle front and died there. No. he was only going about his official assignment when he was involved in an accident and died. I have two children and to the glory of God, they are both in the university and about to complete their studies.”
She attributed her survival to the love of God, adding: “Like I said earlier, it is God that has been assisting me. I work as just a cleaner at St. Agnes Catholic Church. So, you will agree with me that training the children in their father’s absence has been solely by the grace of the Almighty.
“I am most grateful to the Almighty God. I will use the grinding machine to earn additional income and improve the living standard of my family. My prayer is that the people that organised this programme and their family members will never suffer the kind of fate that befell my hubby.”
Another widow, Bolanle Maria Oloyede, a native of Ogun State, spoke about how her husband died in an auto crash. She said: “My husband, a Sergeant, died in an auto crash during an official assignment. He was travelling from Ogun State to Lagos State when the accident occurred. We have three children who are now in higher institution. I am a trader and I must say that the Nigerian Army has been very good to us. We have three children who are now in higher institutions. I am highly grateful to the organisers of this empowerment programme because this gesture will go a long way in alleviating the challenges facing many of us.”
For Bidemi Adeyemi and Jimmy Utibe Abasi, losing their partners in their prime is a life time scar that can never be healed.
While Bidemi’s hubby died after she had given birth to six children, Utibe’s husband died while she was still carrying the pregnancy of her last baby, now a few months old.
Bidemi said: “My late husband was a Staff Sergeant. He didn’t die in the course of fighting insurgency. He died of food poisoning. We took him to hospital and did all the necessary tests and treatment but he didn’t survive it. I have six children and going through hell taking care of them. As I am talking to you, they I don’t know how and where I would get money to pay their school fees. It is tough my brother but with God, we have been surviving. I am thankful and appreciative of the unexpected empowerment by the Nigerian Legion. May God always enlarge their coasts and forever support them in all they do.”
Clutching her baby to her chest, Utibe said: “My husband Jimmy Nastsu died a Sergeant. He died here in Lagos at Yaba after complaining of headache. He died when I was carrying the pregnancy of my baby. We were married for 13 years. I sell second-hand clothing but life has been very challenging. I will appreciate if the government could provide us with loan to do business and improve our living standard. I thank the organisers for remembering poor ones like us. May God bless them.”
Esther Leko looked visibly disturbed as she spoke about her husband’s demise. The incident was obviously the last thing she imagined would happen to her at her youthful age. “I am 30 years old and a native of Edo State. My husband was a Sergeant and we married for 11 years. I am a trader but you can be sure that the income is grossly inadequate to take care of the family. It is God that has been helping me. I will be very happy if the government could come to our aid to make life bearable for us.”
Dorcas Bassey, another beneficiary, said: “I am 28 years. I married my late husband a Staff Sergeant in 2003. I have five children. He died in an accident on his way to work. I am only a sales clerk and from what you know, the salary is nothing to write home about. It was initially meant to augment what my husband was bringing in but it has become the only income the family depends on to survive.”
Lamenting the plight of the widows, the Magaji (overall women leader), Roseline Jonah Emmanuel, said:
“Apart from the burden of taking care of the children single-handedly, many of them are bedevilled by several other problems. For example, there was one of them whose husband used his brother’s name as next of kin. When he died, the benefits were paid to the brother. When the woman approached the authorities, they said there was nothing they could do about it because the deceased already put the brother as his next of kin. That was how the woman left empty-handed to go and face the herculean task of training and feeding the children without any help.
“There is also another one that the late husband’s family members have come to take everything the husband left for them. They left her with nothing without minding what becomes of the children the husband left behind. It is really pathetic. If you take out time to hear the stories of some of these women, you will weep no matter how hard your heart may be.”
She lauded the organisers for their support, saying: “We sincerely appreciate the organisers of this event because the widows are in dire need of this kind of empowerment. A good number of these women are suffering grievously and there can never be a better time to help them than now. Before their husbands died serving the country, the family responsibilities were shared by the women and their husbands. Now that the husbands are gone, they have been left to carry the burden all alone.”
A top military officer, who did not want his name in print, however, debunked the allegation that officers don’t use their wives as next of kin. He said: “The military has changed all that. It is only the unmarried officers that are allowed to use the names of their relations as next of kin. Once you are married, you will be asked to change your next of kin to your wife or your children to avoid this kind of problem you are talking about.”
Addressing the beneficiaries and guests, the National Coordinating Commandant of the Nigerian Legion, Col. Akoteyon, said: “We are here to honour the memory and celebrate the Nigerian soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice in serving our fatherland. But we also pay tributes to the surviving family members who have been left behind. I will like to use this occasion to call on all good citizens of Nigeria to collaborate with us in this crusade.
“Corporate bodies, government parastatals, various foundations and philanthropic organisations should join hands with us in putting smiles on the faces of these wonderful Nigerians to ensure that their works are never forgotten. It is our belief that we can do it to support and empower the families and children of Nigerian fallen heroes. We can provide scholarship for the children of the fallen heroes. We can honour the fallen heroes and to publicly acknowledge their last full measure of devotion and recognise the value of sacrifice they rendered to our nation by being helping hands to the families they left behind.”
