Tag: Innocent Duru

  • From son of a newspaper vendor to award-winning journalist

    Innocent Duru has an unbreakable bond with newspapers. As a child, his father would give him local and international newspapers before going to sell on the streets of Ibadan.

    “I developed interest in news writing and even before I went to school, I knew how to write news,” he said.

    The more he read the stories, the clearer it becomes to him he should be a news writer, not just consumer. When it was time for higher education, he couldn’t think of any other course other than Mass Communication.

    As an undergraduate, he studied hard to learn the practice of journalism. He so much wanted to never have to sell newspapers again but to write news.

    He considered journalists as role model worthy and would read, in awe, the structure and manner in which they weaved words into stories.

    He believed a good news story should be compendious. Feature stories were his favourite and he took no one by surprise when he bagged the Nigerian Media Merit Award (NMMA) Feature Writer of the Year 2017.

    Shortly after his graduation from the University of Lagos, he worked as a freelance reporter at The Sun Newspaper. Owing to his journalistic prowess, he moved on to The National Life Newspaper before they went out of existence and got merged with The Nation’s Newspaper.

    When he got a job in 2012 as a reporter with The Nation Newspaper, Nigeria’s widest circulating paper, his joy knew no bound. Life as a son of a vendor had taught him to treasure such an opportunity.

    It was one he was willing to take with both hands. He started out as a feature reporter in the Saturday desk and worked his way to being an award winning journalist in NMMA 2017/2018.

    His entry in the award category ‘We’ll rather perish in the desert’, was borne out of the need to uncover the mystery behind Libyan returnees.

    He felt that their stories were not given justice as many reporters just tell the tale of their escapades without unraveling the actual truth about their sufferings.

    He went a step further by going to Edo state where most of them came from to scout for news about their illegal travel through the desert.

    The entry ‘Pedophile on the prowl’, on the other hand, came from a report he got about the abuse of children in Yobe states by pedophiles.

    He decided to extend research by reaching out to the people involved and gathered enough information to make a captivating story which earned him a nomination.

    He mentioned he faced stiff opposition from government officials that were involved in the pedophiles’ case and also from the refugees but he was able to overcome the challenges with his experience as an investigative journalist.

    His ability to weave words into captivating stories allowed his entry stand out from the rest in the category.

  • ‘How we negotiated Chibok girls’ freedom’

    ‘How we negotiated Chibok girls’ freedom’

    • Says: We’ll employ same strategy to rescue other girls

    A key player in the negotiation that led to Thursday’s release of 21 of the Chibok schoolgirls on Friday spoke on the effort that went into the deal.

    Vocal civil liberty activist, Senator Shehu Sani drafted the master plan for the negotiation and facilitated the involvement of Switzerland in the talks as well as  the Internantional Red Cross in transporting the girls to safety.

    He told The Nation that with the confidence built on both sides,it might not be long before the remaining girls joined their families.

    His words: “I  believe  that this government has achieved what has never been achieved and there I have the  confidence that the other girls will also be released through the same process that was taken for these ones to be released.

    “The confidence has been built on both sides and the parties have agreed to do more.  I can tell you that there was no prisoner swap.  There was none.”

    Explaining his role in the release of the girls,Sani said : “Well I actually did not take part in the negotiation but I was the one who drafted the master plan for the negotiation, and I was also the one who invited the Swiss and the RCRC into it, and I was also the one who linked the Swiss  with the person who negotiated .

    “This  master plan started from 2014 but it was followed through with the effort of the person who negotiated ,who happened to be Mustapha Zanna, a lawyer in Maiduguri.  I was the one who brought Mustapha  Zanna in with Switzerland   and the RCRC.

    “So this effort ,this success , could be said to be  the joint  effort of  Mustapha Zanna,Switzerland  RCRC and the Department of State Security (DSS).

    “But I was the one who drafted the master plan  for this.  The reason for bringing Swiss into it was because we needed to have a different country that would offer guarantee to both  the insurgents and the government because previous talks crashed because there was lack of  trust between the government and the insurgents.

    “But now, we needed a country that would offer guarantee to both sides.  Switzerland offered to assist after I had  encountered fellows from some of  the countries which we had contacted.  “Swiss offered to facilitate the negotiation  and I linked them up to the negotiator and the master plan was for the government and the insurgents to negotiate.

    Continuing,Sani said: “The agreement was reached through  Mustapha Zanna and  the Swiss offering the guarantee. RCRC was not part of the negotiation team. All they did was to ensure the implementation of  the rescue of the girls.

    “This is why you see some accusations and counter accusations between the government and the RCRC.”

    Asked how he was involved in the 2014 process when  he wasn’t sure that his party (All Progressives Congress)  would form the government, Sani replied:  “ I was the one who took  (former President  Olusegun) Obasanjo to Maiduguri to go and work out the possibility of  ending  the insurgency.

    “It is simply my patriotic zeal to contribute to ending the insurgency.  The last government was not as committed as this government as you could see many of them turn the issue of the insurgency into a big business.  But this is a new government that kept its own promise of addressing this very problem.”

     

    On how the girls should be handled now that they are out of captivity the Senator said: “These girls need a lot of psychological rehabilitation for the trauma which they have passed through for  all this period of time.

    “If you live with the insurgents, you need to b rehabilitated to lead a normal life again. They have been filled with different ideas, so we need to detoxify their minds for the very fact that they felt abandoned; some of them have been brainwashed and indoctrinated.  This is why we need to de-worm them.  It is very necessary.

    “We should all help the parents of these girls to be able to cater for their daughters because at the end of the day, no matter what we do to these girls, they will still need to go back to their homes.

    “It will not be unwise  for every state of the federation to at least name one street  in honour of these girls so that next generation will not forget  the names of these girls who have fallen victim of insurgents.”

  • Weird, wild world of Dan Gbana girls

    Weird, wild world of Dan Gbana girls

    To what length can the youth be trusted with the salvation of the nation’s bleak future? The question has become pertinent in the light of findings that a great number of the nation’s youths are turning into hard drug addicts.

    The Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, Mallam Sanusi Lamido, might have seen through this when he recently proposed that any Nigerian seeking to occupy a public office should first be subjected to drug tests.

    In the past, consumption of hard drugs, particularly Indian hemp, was done in hiding. In those days, those who indulged in the act moved far away from the prying eyes of security agents and family members to avoid arrest or rejection by the society, which generally resented the habit. Parents and family members made conscious efforts to dissuade their children from engaging in such acts for fear of the stigma it would bring on them.

    Today, the story has changed. At motor parks, brothels, streets and institutions of higher learning where future leaders are expected to emerge, hard drugs have become like regular meals without which there would be no life.

    Checks at a community, a lecherous environment along Lagos/Badagry Expressway, showed that some young people, male and female, live on hard drugs. A visitor to the area does not need to be told the kind of business that the residents engage in; their appearance says it all. They look dingy, brutal and frightening. The females wear all kinds of tattoo on their bodies while the males happily expose sizeable scars on their bodies.

    From every corner of the area ooze all kinds of unpleasant smells, with smokes from thickly wrapped Indian hemp pervading the air. It is simply a way of life for many of the young and the old residents of the area.

    A set of commercial sex workers in the area, called Dan Gbana (daughters of hard drug), specialise in taking heroin and go about their business without having their bath for days. A trader named Angela in the area said the Dan Gbana girls could sleep with any man for as little as N100 if they lack the resources to buy drugs.

    She said: “This is another world entirely. It is not possible for a child to be brought up here and he would not take hard drugs, which come in different forms. The area is predominantly populated by people from a particular state in the North. It is home to many people of questionable character because they come to patronise the commercial sex workers that operate here.

    “Here, both the old and the young are involved in prostitution and also indulge in all kinds of hard drugs that are sold here. It is also a common sight to find a nursing mother hustling for ‘customers’ without minding what happens to her baby. They often do all this under the influence of hard drugs and liquors. They take hard drugs and wash them down with strange liquor drinks.

    “The prostitutes are of different categories, but the deadliest of them is the Dan Gbana group. They are brutal and often dispossess men who sleep with them of their valuables. They are called dan gbana because they consume a lot of gbana, the Yoruba word for hard drugs. They consume it as if their lives depend on it and would not even have their bath for days.

    “They become restless if they stay for some time without taking hard drugs. If they become so broke that they do not have a dime to buy drugs, they could sleep with anybody for as low as N100 in order to get money to buy the drugs.”

    Findings revealed that the population of drug addicts is growing in geometric proportion as hard drug business continues to thrive. Indeed, the consumption of Indian hemp and skunk is fast becoming a status symbol at motor parks and among street children. It was gathered that some of addicts even go into contests to determine the best consumers of hard drugs among them.

    A bus conductor, who gave his name simply as Tairu, says it is impossible for most of his colleagues to do without hard drugs because of the harassment they face in the course of duty.

    He said: “It is difficult to do transport business without the help of hard drugs. We face a lot of harassment from passengers, security men, LASTMA and agbero (touts). You can’t deal with these people without being tipsy. In fact, you need to be high in order to tackle them without fear.

    “Once they see that your eyes are very thin and red, they would not need anybody to tell them that you are operating on a different planet. The drugs, particularly Indian hemp, also help our voices because it is not easy to shout from morning till night without being aided by drugs.”

    Although he admitted that many of his colleagues have suffered health (mental) challenges as a result of hard drugs, he was quick to blame such situations on poor diets.

    He said: “Many of our people have become kolomental (mad) after taking some of these hard drugs. The reason is that they don’t eat well before taking them. If you don’t eat well before taking them, you will be adversely affected.”

    Asked if some of his colleagues also take hard drugs in order to commit crime, he said: “ I don’t know about that. I have simply told you why I take them. Everybody has his reasons for doing what he does.”

    Findings showed that the consumption of hard drugs has also become a sort of competition among addicts in some areas like Ikorodu, Lagos, where a whole building is said to be dedicated to the sale and consumption of hard drugs.

    Alhaji Jimoh, a resident of the area, lamented that the residents’ complaints to security agents had yielded no fruits. “I wonder what the future of this country would be with the rate at which the youth are now addicted to hard drugs. Here at Ojogbe in Ikorodu, there is a whole building devoted to the sale and consumption of all manner of hard drugs. I learnt that its users are ranked according to how much hard drug they are capable of consuming, and they are always competing to be the best. This is dangerous.

    “We have complained to security agents, made radio announcements and taken all necessary measures, but it all seems fruitless. Their number seems to be growing every day in spite of our complaints. Unfortunately, females are also part of this unholy lifestyle. Something needs to be done because it contributes to the incidence of criminal activities in the country and also casts a thick cloud on the future of the nation.

    Residents of Ipodo, a part of Ikeja reputed for a thriving hard drug market, also expressed concern that the lives of many promising young people, including those of girls, were being destroyed by their addiction to hard drugs.

    A resident of Awolowo Way, Ikeja, Lagos, who identified himself simply as Jimmy, observed that many young people in the area had sacrificed their future on the altar of drug addiction.

    Jimmy said: “The future of many young people in this area has been destroyed by drugs. Many of them have become junkies. They often call it elubo (the Yoruba word for yam flour). So, when you hear young men say they want to go and buy elubo, they are talking about hard drugs and not yam or cassava flour.

    “Do you know who junkies are? They are guys who have almost become crazy because of their incurable addiction to hard drugs. They cannot do without it in a day. When some of them have no money to buy the drugs, they deposit their phones, laptops and other valuables to get them on credit. There are times that some of them go there in expensive shoes but end up returning home in bathroom slippers, having used their shoes to take hard drugs on credit.

    “The dealers always make sure that the value of whatever item they deposit is more than the amount of drugs they take, because most of them would prefer to continue to use it to take more hard drugs until they exhaust it. That is one of the reasons there is a steady rise in crime.

    “In spite of this, many young people are getting hooked on it every day. They celebrate it as if it is a good thing.

    “There is a wealthy and renowned publisher of a popular romance magazine in this country who has almost gone bankrupt because of his addiction to hard drug. He is always here to consume drugs. He has sold so many of his landed properties as a result of this. There was a time he had to vacate his house to live in a hotel for a long time, after which he could not pay the bills. It became a serious issue between him and the owners of the hotel.

    “When his addiction to hard drug started taking a serious toll on him, he began to look very unkempt.”

    Confirming the publisher’s story, another resident, who gave his name as Ben, lamented the harm that hard drugs have done to many young people in the area. He feared that if nothing urgent was done to discourage the youth from taking drugs, the future of the country could be the worse for it.

    He said: “The story of the publisher is true. I know him very well. I was one of the people he took abroad for relaxation when his magazine was making waves. He is not the only person that has been destroyed by addiction to hard drugs in this area. There are uncountable youths who have had their promising future destroyed by their addiction to hard drugs. One of them is a young man whose father was a popular car dealer before he died.

    “After his father’s demise, he was lured into taking hard drugs. Today, he has become a junkie. He washes cars for people to get money to buy hard drugs. After toiling all day to get money, he goes to the drug joints to lavish it. How many of them would you count?”

    He recalled that hard drug business found its way into Ikeja area a few decades ago through a late retired soldier. He said: “I don’t know how hard drugs business started in other parts of Lagos, but I know how it started here in Ikeja. It was one late soldier (name withheld) who started the business. He succeeded in training many people who joined his children in continuing the business after his death.

    “Their operational base is still here in Ipodo. Some of his boys have continued to move to other parts of Ikeja to expand the business. That is why hard drug business has extended to other parts of Ikeja. This portends serious danger to the future of the country, because when the youth, who are supposed to be the leaders of tomorrow, now take pleasure in drug addiction, the level of criminal activities in the society will multiply and the country would be worse for it.”

    A visit to Akerele, another drug market in Agege area, revealed that the business was still thriving in spite of a recent raid of the area by men of National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA). One of the young traders told our correspondent that it is not possible for anyone to stop the business in the area.

    He said: “Cats (security agents) are always coming to raid us rats. But no matter how much they try, they can never stop us from doing our business. The people behind this business are not poor people; they are rich and highly connected people. But they use people like us to market it. I have been arrested and released several times.

    “It is an international business and Nigeria is a re-routing nation for them. The dealers from countries like Colombia, Mexico, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and so on, bring the drugs to their agents here for re-routing to other parts of the world. They exploit the porous nature of our security system to smuggle these drugs into the country. Have you asked yourself how these hard drugs that we don’t produce in the country are everywhere like common edibles in spite of all the security bodies at the airports, sea ports and the borders?

    “Apart from serving as a re-routing ground, they also intend to make Nigeria a big market because we have a large population that can serve as a big market for these hard drugs. They are succeeding because some boys are consuming them like food. It is not the headache of a dealer that anybody becomes junkie, because nobody is forced to take drugs. You can only be lured and it is left for you to accept or reject them.

    “At times, some guys use their valuables as deposit to get hard drugs on credit. Was it the dealer that asked such guys to do so? It is about using what you have to get what you want.”

    The Public Relations Officer of NDLEA, Mr Jarikre Ofoyeju, said the agency had not rested on its oars in its bid to check the menace of hard drugs in the country. He said: “As a result of training, exchange of intelligence with our international collaborators and years of accumulated experience on the field, the agency has been able to uncover several new modes of drug concealment adopted by drug barons.

    “The first seizures of heroin, hidden in tiny threadlike manner and woven in woollen rug carpets, were made in 2012. The consignment, which was intercepted at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA) Lagos was sent from Pakistan as unaccompanied cargo.

    “Another seizure of heroin from Pakistan, which was intercepted at the Lagos Airport, was hidden inside cartons of football. The weight of both seizures was 29.260kg. The largest seizure of heroin in 2012 was hidden in heavy steel moulding machines, which were cut open by industrial welders to access the drugs.

    “This illicit shipment also came from Pakistan through the Tin Can Island Port, Lagos. There was the case of a 48-year-old widow who concealed 66 wraps of methamphetamine weighing one kilogramme in her private part. It is the largest drug concealment in private part in the country. She was to board a Kenyan Airways flight to Nairobi when she was apprehended.

    “The agency detected 2.472kg of cocaine industrially concealed inside ear rings, buttons, necklaces, bangles as well as in female belts imported from Brazil. The agency detected 2.665kg of cocaine hidden inside prepared chicken imported from Brazil. A South African lady was found with 5.5kg of methamphetamine industrially packed in sardines. In addition, a 65-year-old grandmother concealed 1.740kg of cocaine in herbal syrups on her way to London. These are several methods used by drug traffickers in smuggling drugs, which the agency promptly detected.

    “In 2012, the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) adopted various measures that led to the destruction of 1,404.27 hectares of cannabis farms. This is to prevent the supply of cannabis to dealers and drug addicts. A total of 8,052 suspected drug traffickers were arrested and invited for interrogation. These comprised 7,510 males and 542 females.

    “We successfully intercepted a total of 233,699.875kg of narcotics. The seizures include 228,794.13kg of cannabis, 3,905.447kg of psychotropic substances, 461.15kg of ephedrine, 211.325kg of heroin, 176.55kg of methamphetamine, 131.888kg of cocaine and 19.385kg of amphetamine.

    “The emerging threat of clandestine laboratories is an area where the NDLEA has demonstrated its resolve to dismantle drug trafficking syndicates. In the past two years, the agency has worked very hard to prevent drug barons from using the country in illegal drug production. This has led to the discovery and closure of five clandestine laboratories used for the production of methamphetamine.

    “Methamphetamine is a class ‘A’ psychotropic substance in the category of Amphetamine Type Stimulants (ATS). Four of these illicit drug production factories were discovered in Lagos, while the fifth laboratory was detected in Nanka village, Anambra State. Some of the seizures made during our raid operations include 461.15kg of ephedrine, 176.55kg of methamphetamine and 19.385kg of amphetamine.

    “The agency apprehended a suspected Colombian drug kingpin who was invited to establish clandestine laboratories in the country. He was placed on $38,000 per week salary by a local drug cartel. This is an indication that amphetamine production is indeed a big threat to the country. The target of the NDLEA is to have a society free from drugs, crime and insecurity. No effort will be spared in actualising these objectives.”

    He, however, said that the fight against hard drugs by the Agency had not been without challenges.

    He said: “Drug control, like other human endeavours, is not free from challenges. There are challenges of inadequate funding. We need operational vehicles and more logistic support. Narcotic and money laundering investigation is expensive. There is also the challenge of inadequate drug enlightenment. This is also capital intensive.

    “We are assessing the various geo-political zones and to develop suitable preventive enlightenment. Some people see drug trafficking as a business and not a crime. This is a misconception that needs to be corrected. There is also an erroneous notion of get rich quick irrespective of the means. Besides, there is the problem of moral decadence that places emphasis on materialism.

    “We shall continue to promote public interest and protect the country from the activities of drug barons. The regular arrests and seizures at the airports, seaports, land borders and within towns are sufficient proof of our determination and commitment towards a drug-free society. We shall continue to frustrate the activities of drug cartels through similar efforts.”

     

  • Jilted and lonely Nigerian women abandoned by overseas husbands lament fate

    Sandra Obaze (37) is in a dilemma over her marital status. At 35, she remained single. Not because men were not coming her way, but because none of them was talking about marriage. Luck, however, smiled on her when her close friend connected her to a male friend based in the US for a marital relationship. In spite of the distance, they struck a relationship and became so intimate that a day hardly passed without them talking to each other on the phone or through the social media.

    A month into their relationship, the man arranged to come home for the traditional marriage, after which they would go to the registry for the formal wedding. It was a development that wiped away the woman’s misery and set her mind on a bright future. Not only was she happy that she was going to get married at the end of her travails, she was also looking forward to enjoying the benefits of being married to a man based overseas.

    True to her expectation, the man arrived in Nigeria and both of them travelled to the woman’s home town in Delta State to visit the woman’s parents and arrange for both the traditional and court weddings. After a week of honeymoon, the man left for his base abroad, assuring his wife that he would soon arrange for her to join him. On the day he was billed to travel back, she saw him off to the airport where he again promised to keep his marital vows and fulfill his responsibilities as a husband.

    But all that changed a few months after he returned to his base. He sent the marriage certificate he had taken along back to the woman and cut off communication with her, leaving her confused as to whether she is single or married.

    But hers is just one of the numerous cases of women whose marital dreams have been dashed by their male partners abroad. The victims include single ladies and those who are already married with children. Investigation revealed that many of the victims had been married before their husbands travelled abroad and abandoned them. Some others like Sandra were connected to their partners by friends or relations before they were jilted.

    Findings also showed that many young ladies who were previously engaged to their partners for many years have ended up losing them after the husbands relocated abroad for greener pastures.

    But how does it feel for a woman to be married or engaged to a man who lives overseas in the hope of a better future only for her to be abandoned?

    To this, Sandra said: “Initially, I felt like committing suicide, because it was traumatising. It was with the help of my counsellor that I overcame the temptation to hang myself. But the whole incident still haunts me.

    “I got married at the age of 35. Before then, all the men that came my way were only interested in a casual relationship. Luckily for me, my friend connected me to a guy based in the US. He got in touch with me and we started a relationship immediately, since both of us were out to get married. We agreed that the wedding, both traditional and court, should take place within a month of our relationship.

    “Like magic, the whole thing started working out as planned. He came home and met my parents. They reached an agreement and instantly fixed a date for the traditional and court weddings. Initially, I thought it was a dream. When it dawned on me that it was real, I shed tears of joy. It appeared as if my patient dog was going to eat the fattest bone. My friends and even those who previously mocked me rejoiced with me. My story became a testimony for others in similar condition. We eventually had the wedding done in our home town in Delta State.

    “After the wedding, we returned to Lagos and spent a week in a tasteful hotel at GRA, Ikeja. He showered me with gifts and also bought things for my parents. On the day he was going, I saw him off to the airport and prayed for him from the bottom of my heart. He took the marriage certificate with him with a promise to work out the documents that I would need to join him.

    “From that period, my status changed. Friends and other people started treating me with great respect. My husband consistently called each other on the phone for about five months. Thereafter, a gap in communication started appearing.

    “After some time, he stopped calling. And even when I called, he would promise to call me back but would never do. My parents intervened and started calling him to know what was wrong. At a point, he told them that if the marriage certificate was their problem, he would return it. He returned the marriage certificate and has never bothered to communicate with me for the past two years.

    “I am at a crossroads because I don’t know what to do. I am neither married nor single.”

    Uju Ofoegbu, a former employee of one of the leading media houses in the country, also shared her experience.

    She said: “The experience is heart rending. It is not something I can never forget because it has left an indelible sore in my mind. My fiancée travelled abroad and promised that as soon as he settled down he would begin to work out my travelling documents so that I could join him immediately.

    “Before he left, he gave me an engagement ring, because he said he didn’t want to lose me to another man. I was so elated by his commitment that I vowed to keep the engagement ring on my finger always. With the engagement ring, I sent away other young men who sought my hand in marriage, even though I knew that age was not on my side.

    “I was always quick to announce that my fiance was abroad. He sent me money and wonderful gifts, which earned me some reverence among my friends, who also wished they had life partners abroad.

    “For nine years, I waited for him to settle down. But thereafter, he would not call or send anything. His family members withdrew totally and did as if they were not aware that a relationship existed between us. By then, it was difficult for me to tell people that I was no longer engaged. Worse still, serious minded suitors were no longer coming. I suffered mental, psychological and emotional trauma, and shamefully threw my engagement ring away.

    “Thereafter, I slumped into serious depression. I later fell in love with my managing director, who was married with kids. That also compounded my woes as younger male colleagues who were interested in me could not approach me for fear of losing their jobs.”

    Thirty-year-old Moji Oni is also at a crossroads about her relationship. She told our correspondent how her overseas-based partner has been using different excuses to prolong their relationship.

    She said: “I entered into a relationship with my colleague in the university. We were known to each other’s families. After our studies, he travelled out of the country and told me that he would soon come home for us to get married.

    “After about two years, he told me that he was yet to settle down. When he eventually settled down, he said I should allow him to have enough savings. While waiting for him to save enough money to come for our wedding, he lost his job and that became a good excuse for him.

    “I kept praying that he would get another job. Fortunately, he got another job and asked for time to settle down into the new job. When his grandmother died, he said it would be an opportunity for him to come home to attend her burial and also for us to have our wedding, but he never came. He gave another excuse for not coming.

    “When his father travelled abroad for medical check-up, he said he would come home with him. He never did. He has continued to give excuses and I am confused because time is going and I don’t know what he is up to. It is even very difficult for me to fall in love with another person because I have given him all my heart. If he fails to show up at the end of the day, what would I do?”

    Another respondent, Biola Samson, said she got married to her fiancé in absentia.

    She said: “We were dating before he travelled out of the country. After some time, we agreed to get married. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond his control prevented him from coming for the wedding, so we did it in absentia. This was six years ago, and he has only come home once after the wedding.

    “He has kept telling me that he is working out plans for me to come over. But I am scared. All my friends who got married about the same time and even after already have one or two children while I am still not certain about the fate that awaits my marriage.”

    But investigation revealed that in spite of the plight of the foregoing victims, many young Nigerian women are still surfing the Internet for life partners based abroad. One of them, who gave her name simply as Agnes, told our correspondent that the fact that it did not work for one person does not mean that it would not work for another.

    She said: “It applies to everybody. I have a cousin who got her husband from abroad through the social media. She has gone there and they are peacefully living together with their children. This is what I also desire, and I believe that God will grant it to me.”

    Explaining why many young ladies prefer men who are based abroad, a psychologist and marriage counselor, Mrs. Ganiyat Olokodana, said: “There is this thing about my husband or my fiancée is abroad that make many to do so. There is a kind of status it gives some people. The initial euphoria that somebody based abroad has come to seek her hand in marriage may make the woman to say yes, with the hope of relocating abroad subsequently. It is all about hoping that something good will come out of it.

    “In most cases, the men are not legal immigrants. They are just there to hustle. But that hope that their husbands are based abroad gives some women a sense of elevation, and it works for their self esteem.

    “Some have their engagement prolonged unnecessarily because the man has not been able to achieve what he wants to achieve. Some of the guys break the engagement after some time by getting married to another person abroad in order to get their residence papers.”

    Reflecting on some cases she had handled, Olokodana said: “We have cases of couples who live countries and even continents apart. In most cases, it is the wife that lives here in Nigeria while the husband is based abroad, supposedly seeking greener pastures.

    “When such men want to travel, they always say they will be back in six months or that they will start working on the wife’s papers so that she would relocate. But you find that in many cases, the months turn into years and and nothing is HYPERLINK “http://done.in/” \t “_blank” done. In fact, after a while, you will see that the couple is more or less estranged. You find that the reason why the husband is abroad and cannot come back is because things are not easy for him. With time, he would stop calling and stop sending money down, leaving the woman hanging because she is not sure of what her status is.

    “In most cases, part of what the men do to get their papers is to get married to a national of the country they have travelled to. They get married and continue with the semblance of marriage while the woman left at home is hanging. She can’t have any other relationship because that would be like committing adultery. Such a woman would only be married on paper because she can’t be considered a married woman. It is usually a trying experience for whoever is involved.

    “Under Islamic rules, what we call Sharia, there is a minimum number of months that a husband and his wife can live apart from each other. Anything longer than that, the marriage is like null and void, because you can’t just leave a woman hanging. She has needs that only the husband is supposed to meet.”

    Another marriage counselor, Pastor Dolapo Onipede of the Redeemed Christian Church of God gave various reasons for the trend. He said: “There are diverse reasons why many ladies prefer to get married to men based abroad. But the basic reason is that many people don’t know the meaning of marriage.

    “God ordained marriage for the purpose of multiplying human race. If you read Genesis Chapter One, you will find that God does the match making. But the ladies of nowadays don’t involve God in their choice; they want to do it by their own knowledge. Any marriage where God is missing cannot be stable.

    “Another reason is the urge for material wealth. Nobody wants to build from the scratch again. When you want to build a house, you start from the foundation. Many ladies and young men are in a hurry because of material things.

    “Yet another reason for this is poverty. They feel that the person based overseas, even when they don’t know what he is doing over there, will bring in money. Ladies want money and they see the people overseas to be better off than those in the country, without knowing what they are doing for a living.

    “Pressure from parents and friends also make ladies to jump at anybody that comes their way without duly considering what it takes.

    “Another thing is self-pity. That also boils down to age. It comes from within and not from outside. The lady in question feels she is already 30 and getting late for marriage, and she wants to jump at any man that comes her way.

    “Some ladies misuse their body at younger age, and because the world is a global village, she would want to go outside her environment so that all her past deeds will be covered. The next place that will be on their minds would be outside the country.

    “It has also become an in thing these days because it comes with ego. Many women see it as status symbol for people to say that their husbands are based abroad. The craze for people based overseas make ladies to want to jump at them, just to boast to people that their husbands too are in the US or UK.

    “There is the case of man that I know. Any time he comes into the country, ladies in their early 20s flock around him. At the end of the day, he got married to one of them, only to realize that the man was more than 50 years old and was already married with children in the US. The man comes home only once in a year. Do you call that marriage? Whether you like it or not, she is a second wife.”

    Recalling his experience as a counselor, Pastor Onipede said: “I have discovered that about 90 per cent of such relationships don’t end well. It is only very few ones that succeed. I have an example of one that ended well because from the beginning, God was there. It was God that did the match-making in the first place, but it happened that one had to travel legally and officially. So it was easy for the man to easily come back and pick the wife. They lived apart for about four or five years, but because God was at the centre of their marriage, they were able to go through that period without any difficulty.

    “There is a Yoruba adage that says oruko t’oba wuni lanje loke okun (he who lives abroad chooses whatever name pleases him). That is what happens to these guys when they travel overseas, most often because they don’t have genuine papers to stay there. They engage in false marriage to get their papers and abandon their partners in Nigeria.”