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Tag: Jane Kolade

  • How to Improve Your Relationship with Yourself

    Love your neighbour as yourself is a popular aphorism we all seem to have heard at one time or the other. One that is founded on knowing that the most challenging, exciting and significant relationship you can ever have is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love that loves you back, well, that’s just great.

    The month of February is the month of love, one in which one is inundated on all sides with everything romance all around (or lack thereof). At this time it would be helpful to evaluate the most important relationship of all—the one we have with ourselves. Here are some tips to know that you’re in a healthy relationship with you, and some tips for improving areas where your self-love is lacking.

    You use social media to share not to validate

    The difference? When you’re in a good place with yourself, you’re sharing to connect with others. When you’re in a not-so-good place, you use social media to seek out validation, compare yourself with others in ways that aren’t healthy, or to prove something to people whose opinions shouldn’t actually matter in the first place.

    Self-love tip: Before posting anything, ask yourself your motive for sharing. If it’s a moment you want to share and remember, go ahead and post away. If you’re posting so that your ex-boyfriend will feel bad about dumping you, or because you don’t feel beautiful today and want a bunch of friends to comment otherwise on your photo, please don’t post.

    You practice loving self-care

    When you love someone, you naturally want to take care of them, whether it’s through cooking, massages, lending a sympathetic ear, or helping them out financially. For some reason, we don’t always do the same for ourselves. Caring for yourself, whatever that means for you (adequate sleep, beauty and spa treatments, quiet time, and exercise) is a sure sign you’re in a good relationship with you.

    Self-love tip: Pamper yourself by treating yourself to something that feels indulgent at least once a week, even if it’s just an inexpensive sheet mask and a hot bath.

    You’re self-positive, whatever that means for you

    People who feel good about themselves do not indulge in self-shaming when it comes to their love or sex lives; neither do they sacrifice their own needs or boundaries in order to satisfy others. Instead, they know that the need for love or sex is a healthy impulse and an intensely individual choice, and they treat it as they would any other aspect of their personal well-being.

    Self-love tip: Evaluate your needs and boundaries, and then tell yourself they’re valid no matter what your partner or anyone else thinks. Remind yourself of this often.

    You put yourself first

    One of the harsher truths in life is that, ultimately, no one can take care of you but you. People can love you, people can help you, but no other person knows what you need, what you’re experiencing or what you want. With that in mind, we’d like to encourage you to put yourself first, always, as people in healthy relationships with themselves are apt to do. This doesn’t mean opting to watch movies instead of visiting your loved one in the hospital, but it does mean that if you have a loved one in the hospital, you know how to strike the balance between supporting and caring for her, and for yourself at the same time.

    Self-love tip: Look at all your relationships, and weed out the ones in which you’re sacrificing your health or happiness in an attempt to ensure the health or happiness of another, especially if they are counterproductive. Once you’ve identified these problematic relationships, make an action list of ways in which you can set better boundaries.

    You take care of your finances

    Security is a form of selfcare and a sign of self-love. Do you feel that you deserve to have abundance? If not, that may be something to explore as the cause of any lack in your life. Repeating a simple mantra while meditating, like “I am abundant, I have everything I need” can help, too. Think of it this way: If you had children in your care, you’d want them to have everything they need and feel secure monetarily, won’t you? You should feel the same way about yourself. Once you do, you’ll no longer undersell your services, or be careless with how you spend your hard earned money.

    Self-love tip: Imagine that a loved one’s financial situation looked like yours, and give yourself the advice you would give him or her. If you don’t know what advice you’d give, ask someone who cares about you for constructive input.

    You’re kind to others

    Gossip is something many of us do in order to feel better about ourselves, this means that if we already feel good about ourselves, we won’t feel the need to talk badly or be unkind to others. As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people”, when you’re at a good place with yourself, you want the best for others.

    Self-love tip: Ponder this, if you wouldn’t want it said to you or about you don’t say it. Evaluate the feelings behind the hurtful sentiment you want to share, as there are likely some unresolved personal issues hiding there.

    You accept yourself, flaws and all
    This is the hardest one of all. When you’re truly in a good place, you’re at peace with the ways in which you fall short of your own expectations. Instead of looking in the mirror and constantly critiquing your face and body, you are able to feel compassion for things that aren’t 100% within your control. And you practice loving them as they are instead of berating yourself for not working out more, or aging more gracefully. As another example, you may wish you were less emotional, and you may try to better control your feelings, but you also know that you were born as you are and for every negative side effect of this trait, there’s a positive one. Healthy people still improve, just from a place of self-love and not self-hate (e.g., “I want to be better” rather than saying “I need to be better.”

    You don’t let external impute sway you

    People who truly love themselves aren’t swayed by outside opinions, good or bad. If you believe the good things people say about you, you’ll also be vulnerable to believing the bad things. Most of us, unfortunately, operate in an even unhealthier manner than this, we do this by mostly ignoring the positive things people say, and focusing exclusively on negative critiques. When you’re in a solid relationship with yourself, nothing that comes at you from outside can change the way you feel.

    Self-love tip: Keep a running list of positive things you’ve accomplished or done for others that are intrinsic to your personality. This shouldn’t include compliments paid by outsiders, but rather things you feel good about on a deep, internal level.

  • Avoid these Risky Everyday Foods for good health

    These are probably in your kitchen right now, but that doesn’t mean you should eat them. While shopping for food you have probably scratched your head over the long, strange ingredients listed on package labels. Even the most health-conscious shoppers can have a tough time knowing which canned or boxed foods to avoid. That’s why it’s so important to build your diet around whole, fresh foods like fruits and veggies, your diet should also include plenty of nuts and legumes, whole grains, skinless poultry and fish, low-fat dairy products

     

    A healthy diet shouldn’t include any of the following healthy eating pitfalls.

    Mistaking margarine for a healthy fat

    Even though margarine contains less saturated fat, many varieties contain trans-fat, especially hard margarines Proving the myth that margarine is a smart replacement for butter. Trans fat increases LDL, or “bad” cholesterol and decreases HDL, or “good” cholesterol. Most brands are high in salt.

    Avoid bacon

    A diet high in red and processed meats has been linked to higher rates of obesity, heart disease and colon cancer. In fact, eating just two ounces of processed meats like bacon per day may increase your colon cancer risk by up to 17 percent. For a savoury breakfast side, opt for fresh vegetables in your morning toast, and add nuts to your oatmeal.

    Stop drinking both regular and diet soda

    Regular soda contains various types of sugar. In fact, a can of soda may actually be up to 60 percent fructose. All that sugar can actually increase your risk of diabetes, promote tooth decay, and increase your waistline. Sugar contains empty calories which mean that it raises your daily calorie intake without providing any real nutrients.

    Choose a new snack

    Microwave popcorn contains high levels of salt and the chemical diacetyl. Diacetyl gives popcorn its buttery flavour and it’s just one of almost 50 chemicals that get released into the air when popcorn heats up. While small doses of diacetyl may be harmless, but exposure to large amounts can be dangerous to your health.

    Avoid unregulated energy drinks

    From 2007 to 2011 alone, over 20,000 Americans were sent to the emergency room thanks to energy drinks. Energy drinks may be marketed as “supplements” to avoid FDA regulation. Supplements don’t have to list their ingredients or nutrition facts and get to avoid food regulatory bodies safety testing.

    Avoid canned and instant soups/foods

    The daily recommended limit for salt or sodium is 2,300 mg for healthy adults. Some people, like those with heart disease, should consume less than 1,500 mg a day. But with a can or package of instant soup, it’s possible to consume most or all of that in one sitting.

     

  • Never put these on your face, ever

    Never put these on your face, ever

    In a world of tips from beauty junkies, and makeup enthusiasts, it’s hard to decide what you should and shouldn’t do. You could try to do everything yourself, but there are some things you should probably leave to professionals. A lot of those things involve skincare.

    There are great skincare DIYs out there, like making an avocado face masks and using coconut oil as a moisturiser. But there are a lot of terrible ones that include ingredients that should never even go near your lovely face. Some kitchen ingredients are totally fine, but please leave the following out of your beauty routine.

    Lemons 

    We, too, used to be fans of lemons as a skin-brightening ingredient. That is until we realized it’s actually super damaging to the skin. It’s true: lemon juice can brighten your skin. However, it’s highly acidic and dangerous to your skin. Lemon juice can cause severe dryness, burning, blisters, and even phytophotodermatitis, which is basically a serious burn that occurs when certain botanical substances react with UV rays. It is horrible, painful, and absolutely not worth it. If you want to lighten your skin or get rid of hyperpigmentation, use an actual brightening or lightening cream.

    Baking soda 

    There are tonnes of DIY face scrubs and masks with baking soda as an ingredient. We’ve used it on our faces before. But baking soda has a pH of 9, meaning it can strip all the good acid out of your face, increase dryness, and end up causing your skin to overproduce oil. Some people swear by using baking soda as an exfoliant, but it can cause serious long-term damage to your skin.

    Eggs 

    Putting egg whites in your face mask probably won’t make your skin fall off, but using eggs in combination with other ingredients can cause adverse reactions. Your biggest worry is being exposed to salmonella. While eggs are fairly safe and can tighten your skin, if they’re not preserved correctly, you may experience not-so-pleasant results. If you really want to utilise eggs in your skincare routine, there are plenty of options you can get at your favourite beauty store that contains the correct ingredients and preservatives.

    Hairspray 

    Have you ever heard this tip?  “Use hairspray as a setting spray” Hopefully not, but if you have, don’t do it, I beg you. Hairspray is meant for one thing: your hair. While it’s safe to tame your flyaway strands, it’s packed with chemicals that keep those hairs in place. Literally, save face and buy yourself a setting spray or powder so you can safely lock in your makeup.

    Sugar or salt 

    Sugar and salt are awesome exfoliating ingredients for your body. Mix some coconut oil with brown sugar, and you’ve got a killer body scrub. But don’t you dare put those granules on your face. They are too harsh for the skin on your face, which is thinner and more sensitive than the skin on your body. The granules are too large and jagged, which can cause abrasions to your face. Err on the side of caution and reach for an exfoliant that’s actually meant for your face.

    Cinnamon

    Many beauty bloggers claim that cinnamon is the perfect ingredient for getting rid of acne, dark spots, and hyperpigmentation. In fact, a popular French vlogger featured a video of her DIY cinnamon mask. When her fans tried it, many experienced serious burning, blisters, dryness, and redness. Too much cinnamon can even cause permanent damage, according to dermatologists.

    Foot cream
    As anyone who has ever attempted to will tell you, using foot cream instead of face moisturiser could really mess up your skin. How? Well, foot cream is designed for your feet, which has the toughest skin on your body. Foot cream is thick and is packed with ingredients that are not meant for your face since it’s made to break down hard calluses. If you use foot cream on your face, you’ll likely clog your pores and wind up with a bunch of pimples.

    Mayonnaise 

    Mayonnaise works well as a DIY hair mask, but it’s not as great as a face mask. While it will make your hair super shiny and soft after 20 minutes, it will leave your face feeling greasy. Mayo, much like foot cream, is too thick for your face, can clog your pores, and will make you break out. Save it for your hair, salads, and sandwiches.

    Generally, just be smart about what you’re putting on your skin. If you find something that works for you, great! But if you are going to try a new ingredient, do so sparingly and test out a spot applying it all over your face.

  • Lifestyle hack for the week – How to freshen your veejay, naturally

    Lifestyle hack for the week – How to freshen your veejay, naturally

    Every woman wants every part of her anatomy to smell nice, including her lady parts, I mean vagina. Perfume won’t work there so what do you use?

    A simple secret is garlic. Peel a single clove of garlic and pass a threaded needle through it for easy retrieval, after pricking the garlic a few times with the needle.

    Push it up your vagina, and leave it there for a couple of hours or overnight, and voila you have fresh scented vagina even if you just got out of bed.

    Simply pull out the thread to remove the garlic.

  • The True Essence of Marriage

    It was Valentine’s Day earlier in the week; a day celebrated by lovers world over. Quite a number of lovers popped the question that day, (amongst other things) hoping for a happy-ever-after. And as I think about all the gifts that were shared, the parties, shows, and dinner dates attended I ask, what exactly is the purpose of marriage? Is it for love, children, sex, financial security, or status?  Although many young people claim that they can’t afford to marry for financial reasons, yet the high divorce rate among celebs and the super-rich reveal that the possession of a hefty bank balance does not guarantee marital success.

    In Africa, we believe that children are the primary purpose for marriage, but a cursory look around will provide evidence to the contrary. One would think that children would solidify a marriage, yet many choose to end their unions in spite of having kids.  A wise man once pointed out that marriage is not a human invention, but a divine one as such the blueprint remains with the owner. Marriage was instituted so that man would not be alone, simply put that the true purpose of marriage is for companionship.

    In my grandparents’ day, young people did not choose their spouses but had arranged marriages, and those marriages endured. Today the reverse is the case, the decision of whom to marry is more often than not a personal one. Many marry “for love” yet many of those unions don’t endure. An Indian man once told a European man, “you marry the women you love but we love the women we marry.Another Indian put it more drastically when he said, “We put cold soup on the fire, and it slowly becomes warm. You put hot soup into a cold plate and it becomes slowly cold.” In African societies, there are cultures on either side of the divide. So whether you are for or against arranged unions is a matter of choice. I however like the way Walter Trobisch put it in his book, I love a young man, when he said, “Marriage is a mystery. You cannot explain a mystery. You can only keep penetrating a mystery. You can never get to the end of it.”

    Another Indian put it more drastically when he said, “We put cold soup on the fire, and it slowly becomes warm. You put hot soup into a cold plate and it becomes slowly cold.” In African societies, there are cultures on either side of the divide. So whether you are for or against arranged unions is a matter of choice. I, however, like the way Walter Trobisch put it in his book, I love a young man, when he said, “Marriage is a mystery. You cannot explain a mystery. You can only keep penetrating a mystery. You can never get to the end of it.”

    How many times have you seen couples who are poor, childless, or otherwise challenged yet love each other passionately, and committed to the union with a single-minded purpose? In truth, even the most prolific couple will end up alone at some point, when their children head off to school, and finally, leave to set up their own homes. When that time comes, what do the couple fall back on? They are no longer just mum and dad but revert to being friends, lovers, and companions.

    In the same book Ingrid Trobisch also admits “It is not true that marriage grows out of love. The opposite is also true: Love grows out of marriage, sometimes very slowly. And states, “A Christian marriage has meaning and purpose even when there are no children” and continues, “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother, and cleaves to his wife and the two become one flesh ” And concludes, “Notice that there is no mention made of children. Children are an added blessing. But they are not the only reason for marriage.” The love of the two partners for each other, the becoming one person of man and wife is a meaning and fulfilment of marriage in itself. That is indeed the true essence of marriage.

  • Seven classic career disasters, lessons learned

    Seven classic career disasters, lessons learned

    Being a member of any workplace is replete with instances when things just turn out badly, those are the times when people reveal their true selves, the times that bring out either the best or the worst in us. Making mistakes is part of the human experience, it’s called learning, but only if you learn from past mistakes, if not you will risk making the same mistake over and over again, and that is a recipe for disaster. Here is a list of ten mistakes I have made in the course of my career and lessons learned.

    Watch your leader.

    My first job fresh out of university was as PA to the chairman of a firm with several business interests. It was one I enjoyed to no end as it gave me the opportunity met lots of people (which I love doing) , a chance to help them, and use my brains as well. Unfortunately, every cloud has a silver lining, as they say, in this case, it was my boss, a man old enough to be my dad, and my mum’s townsman no less. His idea of running a business was co-opting all, and I mean all the women in his companies into his harem; every female from the middle-aged cleaning lady, to the female guards, the  clerks, to the higher ups. So it got to the point where I dreaded going to work because I was going to continue the distasteful discussion about when I would become his, go on a weekend etc. What broke the camel’s back was when an acquaintance asked if he had raped me as it was part of his reputation. That was when I decided to quit, as a professional, no job is worth losing your peace of mind or reputation for.

    Getting a public dressing down

    At this other job at a research institute, my boss gave me a dressing down for not having important information about a forthcoming program at a Monday meeting. It was only later on he discovered it wasn’t my fault, it was a case of failure to share information, you know that colleague who refuses to share information for whatever reason.

    Weak performance appraisal.

    One time at work, I got this dismal appraisal rating, and I was really shocked because I thought I was doing really well. On enquiring from the management, I discovered that it was in the course of moving departments, I was doing the same thing I had been doing in my old department as I was not given a new job description. Imagine that! After realigning my JD with my boss’s expectations things got much better. Oh! and I got promoted too.

    Ignorant boss.

    This one is probably familiar to many Nigerians, you know the Naija factor. So I had this boss who was the MD’s cousin (actually living in her house) whose idea of business is dating every boss in any organisation she represents the company at. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the fact that she was ignorant, she could not use the computer, write a simple official letter, or even read or write a simple report, but would watch movies while at work. Of course, she did not have much to report as achievement so resorted to badmouthing her subordinates, is it surprising I left?

    Micromanager boss.

    This Oga just loved to micromanage, not giving one space to do the job, even as he starved me of resources to do the job. I simply left to avoid feeling strangled to death at work.

    Getting laid off.

    Yes, it actually happened to me once, felt bad at the office politics and wrangling that led to it at the time but I left calmly. It was for the best as the company’s coffers were empty. At least I got one month’s salary in lieu of notice, those I left behind worked for over eight months without being paid before the company folded up.

    Very public crisis.

    As HR manager of a facility management firm I got my first taste of high visibility crisis when the company moved to a new line of business closely related to our core business, and I had managed to head hunt and hire professionals who not only sat in negotiations to help get contracts but actually executed the projects successfully, but only after the company had made a huge loss  and risked losing the contract because the management chose their oldest staff, who had zero knowledge to implement the projects so we ended up using ninety-nine percent of the contract sum to do the job, I kid you not.

  • Gemology uses precious stones to make creams -Chiedu

    Gemology uses precious stones to make creams -Chiedu

    More and more men suffer from things like high blood pressure, hypertension, cancers, heart attack and stroke at younger ages than was previously found, Tokunbo Chiedu.

                                                           

    Lawyer turned Beauty entrepreneur, and Consultant, with a bias for international business, Mrs Tokunbo Chiedu talks to Jane Kolade about her foray into the world of international business, becoming a beauty entrepreneur, and her world view. She also shares her passion for training, and how she brings that to bear in the running of her business, and day spa, which advocates the Gemology premium brand, and lots more. Excerpts:

    What is your take on the craze of Nigerian women with bleaching their skins?

    I’m not sure I can pinpoint why people bleach, because people have their different reasons for choosing to do that, but it may have to do with what you are exposed to, whether as a child. It might also have something to do with how you feel about yourself , and how they define beauty, or who is defining beauty. So I’m sure there are a myriad of reasons why people do that, I can’t speak for them.  But I think it’s important that you have to know that you are beautiful the way God made you.

    Of course, you know that there are people who suffer from skin conditions like acne; terrible ones that didn’t actually want to bleach their skins but some of the chemicals in the products used in treating their skins have that side effect and before they knew it, the entire skin colour has changed. Some people have a problem of having vey reactive skins, many people struggle with that, because it’s  a confidence thing that many people suffer from, which is why I don’t want to judge anyone. Having said that there are people choosing to bleach their skins, they are saying that they don’t like their black colour, and it is not a beautiful sight. We really don’t have that many experts who can advise, even going way back. Many people are seeking information on what to use, and end up using the wrong things on their bodies that are downright dangerous, and highly detrimental in the long term. But I think the ultimate advice is to say “you only have one self, and you have the responsibility to get the right information to ensure that you are not endangering yourself, because there are all sorts of chemicals in these products.

    Why do you think that Gemology is the better way to go?

    Gemology is actually from France and they are leaders in that sector, they are more natural than chemical because the formulations in products in the range are botanical. Gemology is a mineral based skin care brand formulated with trace elements from precious and semi-precious stones. The active ingredients in it are nature’s gifts to us, and trace elements are actually nutrients, the skin tends to absorb more when applied directly to the skin. Trace elements are the source of nutrients that you find in the food you eat, except that you find that when you ingest, your skin is the last part to gain from it. Technology now informs us that actually directly applying nutrients on your skin is more beneficial. There are a lot of health and anti-aging benefits attached to that because your skin gets to absorb the nutrients directly. So its undiluted, and it is not the residual form of the nutrient but the full essence.

    We advise a beauty prescription to start with, of course, our company represents the brand, and we work with trained therapists who have been trained by the brand. The brand is about education, its about elevating the standards in terms of the quality of care that consumers will see in the spa, and also the quality of products used on the skin. It’s a premium brand, one associated with luxury, and it is fantastic.  I have really reactive sensitive skin, and struggled with my skin for the better part of my adulthood, even from my teens, I have always had acne and blemishes. My dream is not to wear makeup, and now I can. I’m really happy with that. I am happy to not have to do make-up, but I am a

    Tell us a bit about the Gemology wellness weekend?

    tukunbo-chiedu-3

    The Gemology weekend will hold on the twelfth and thirteenth of November, twelfth is the men’s event, and thirteenth the women’s event. The Gemology Wellness weekend is actually our way of raising awareness about a good skincare regimen. We have set aside two days in November when we are just going to talk about wellness. It is about empowering people with information, during the programme there will be some services being delivered to the attendees. So they can have their shaving done, haircut, facial massage, body massage, manicure/pedicure. And we are working with professionals; therapists, barbers, beauty consultants who can advise. Day one will focus on male grooming, health, and fitness. We will have a medical doctor coming in who is an expert in the prevention of certain life threatening ailments; cancers, and so on. Especially because sometimes we don’t pay attention to these things, but it has become more important as increasingly people more and more suffer from things like high blood pressure, hypertension, cancers, heart attack and stroke at younger ages within the male gender than was previously found. Doctor Femi Olaleye is well known in that area and will talk to men about taking care of themselves, early detection signs and so on, while Gemology will talk about skin care.

    Day two is about women it’s the same thing- the doctor will be here to talk about the different ailments that women are plagued by, and steps to take to avoid those health pitfalls. The Nigerian woman is very much into great presentation, the average Nigerian woman loves and takes care of herself. We pay attention to personal branding, and sometimes the attention goes more on one thing than on the things that are most vital, so you get women who love hair, and pay attention to their hair, but don’t use anything particularly great on their skin. However, as a beauty entrepreneur I ask people to take a long term view, your skin is an asset and you should take good care of it.

    You presently have multiple interests in products and services that have to do with hair and skincare, how did that come about?

    Our core business is international trade and we are the go to brand for companies looking for access into the Nigerian market. We get invited to a lot of international events for the beauty sector. So we get to interact with international brands, at least on an annual basis. When we are approached for access into the Nigerian market, we typically look into the idea; some of the initial market intelligence was to advise the brand. And actually Gemology did some work to see if there was anything similar within the marketplace and all of that. That is our core business. We are a market entry market penetration international trade consulting firm. We have access to brands, and do all that is necessary to help promote them, and give them market access when they are ready for it. Prior to that, we provided advise to companies, and actually represent quite a number of brands in different sectors/ subsectors in the beauty industry.

    Do you care to mention any?

    Design Essentials is one. They are a leading brand, but they are also a training brand, which means that as a professional brand they provide training to support their stylists. They are the leading brand, both at home and abroad. We represent a food and beverage brand called Fosters Traditional Food, UK. They are a leading supermarket supplier, and also a leading brand supplying to the well known chains in the UK; Tesco, ASDA. They took an interest in the Nigerian market about three years ago, and we have done some work to try and support them, especially with NAFDAC registration, finding sub-distributors for the distribution of the brand, because we don’t actually distribute brands, though a brand we represent does. So we have affiliates for the brands we have worked with. Our work with brands is certainly interesting, quite a departure from the usual with firms which is more corporate. Usually developing international connections for brands, we went into the beauty sector because of the demand, as Nigeria is developing as an exciting place for lifestyle brands.

    Tell us about your educational background?

    I have a degree in Law and Social sciences, and a Masters in International Development. Both from institutions in the UK.

    So where are you from?

    I am a proudly Ijesha lady, married to a Deltan. Ijeshas are entrepreneurial by nature, intellectual, and we are trades people.

    How did you become a Beauty Entrepreneur?

    We organize international exhibitions, and it became a platform for brands. And the brands we represent found us because of the work we had done. It just became a natural progression for us to take an interest in representing some of the brands that have approached us. Especially because Nigeria is a big market, we like to have the best. We like to be on the same page as the rest of the world, and like to have access. The face of lifestyle here is changing so that we on par with a lot of global business destinations. Nigeria is welcoming a lot of business, and is involved in different sectors of the economy. These people who are coming into Nigeria with their business interests have needs, and some of them can be satisfied with what we have.

    Tell us the secret of your trim build and youthful looks in spite of being a mum in her forties.

    I think its my genes, I have good genes. Thank my mummy and daddy. And thank God. And then i love to eat. I really don’t believe in diets. But I like to eat good food, and also like to eat well. I have a sweet tooth as well. So I like my cakes and all that. But my work is very demanding, and I do a lot of things. I am an active worker, I wish I could exercise more, but I love swimming, and dancing; Salsa especially and it keeps you fit. But apart from that I would say exercise.

    Do you have a beauty routine?

    Oh yes, I do.

    Please share it.

    I have always have problematic skin, which I think is more hormonal.  So my skin tends to be reactive, even to touch. I discovered Gemology a year ago, I used it on myself and the result was amazing! Transformative actually. I wear make-up most days, so at night I remove my make-up with the Gemology Make-up remover, then I use the foam cleanser , then I use the toner. After that I apply a serum, during the day I apply an anti stress serum, and at night I use the calming serum. There are a bunch of serums, the anti stress serums, brightening serums, calming serums, those for sensitive skins and so. I love the fact that there are options to tally with what you might be going through. Your skin might be dealing with stress, too much aircondioning, dryness and so on. So it’s a beauty product tailored to what your skin is going through, although we usually don’t think of what the skin is going through. So if you are feeling tired, your skin maybe tired. At different times I use a repairing serum when my skin is going through stuff and needs repair so I use that. At times, I use the Diamond cream because my skin is dull, and diamond is known to be luminous, and it helps in oxygenating the skin, and makes you naturally radiant. It actually depends on what my skin tone is saying. So its good to keep a regimen, but introduce certain products at different times to address relevant concerns.

    At the Gemology stand during the last Beauty Africa conference, I noticed they did something called ‘face mapping’ tell us a bit about it?

    It really is facial skin analysis using a magnifying glass to look at your skin in a way that the natural eyes can’t to determine likely present, and future concerns. For instance, whether you are likely to lose skin elasticity because of your skin type. It is more like a deeper skin study in order to recommend the appropriate product, or what to do; like drink more water. It can prompt your beautician to ask you the right questions so they can help you. Many people don’t know about this, they just ask what their friends are using , and use same, simply taking recommendations from friends.

    So where can one get Face mapping done?

    tokunbo-chieduA good spa, or beauty consultant should be able to help with that. And we offer the service in our day spa. The Gemology day spa offers it as the first step in determining your beauty prescription.

    You carry a head of beautiful, natural hair, have you had any challenges with weaves like traction alopecia  to prompt going natural?

    I struggled with my hair because I have coarse hair. But I generally tended to reach for the more protective styles like weaves because I don’t have too much time on my hands to be sat in a place for too long. My hair kind of went natural because I was always in protective mode, but I love hair, whether relaxed or naturally textured. I think women should do whatever works for them.

    You wear so many hats, CEO, Director, yet you are a wife and mum. How do you manage your business with being a home maker?

    I think I’ve always had great family support. And I’m not just talking about just today as a married woman. But it goes way back to when I was a girl, my father was very supportive. He was a major influencer of who I am now, my mom too. My mum was extremely entrepreneurial, and strong. But I’m saying that whatever you able to do now is not just about today, but where you are coming from, what you have had put into you. So even from within my family, I had a lot of family support, like my siblings. People are always rooting for me. If I had to pin point what helped me do what whatever I have done, its because people were rooting for me, that’s my main driver. After God who propels me. And there is nothing more humbling and inspiring to have people who believe in you. And my husband is my biggest fan. He supports me a lot, and believes in me a lot. I also have a great team at work.

    Tell us some of your challenges starting out?

    Many. I’ve dropped many balls.  I made many mistakes, and have not picked my battles. I am very heady, and Nigeria doesn’t take kindly to that.

    In women, or everyone?

    Everyone. I just think that you have an opinion, not that you are being rude. And you believe in something.

    Are you completely satisfied with your life and career right now?

    I’m happy with all the highs and lows of my career. I’m happy with every part of the journey. I embrace everything, I embrace all my achievements and learning curves, I won’t say  mistakes because I think it’s a part of learning. Its an opportunity to learn how to and not to do certain things. In business you go through so much, sometimes there is no script. You have a business plan, but it doesn’t mean anything beyond that, it’s just that, a plan. And how responsively you react to what comes determines your survival. There are things you will go through that you would want to do differently should the opportunity arise, everyone has that. I do too, its part of my journey.

    What prompts your giving back to society?

    I’m a people person, I love people. I think that God has given me a lot. And I am not talking about material means. I’m talking about my intellect, and gifts. Everyone has gifts, I like to share that. Share my ideas and be part of forward thinking and progress. Its our Nigeria, and life is really not well lived until we’ve shared, until you’ve made a difference, until you’ve touched somebody. I think it was Maya Angelou that said “Its not what you say that people will remember but how you made them feel.” That is always going to make a lasting impression because people won’t forget what they hear, its authentic. Its real. We want to be able to do more.

    If a young lady walked up to you and said, “I would like to be like you” what would you advise?

    I would tell her to be herself. You don’t know the pain, you only see the glory.  I learnt that you have to be comfortable with your pain to be truly successful. You have to overcome it. I say pain, but it could be difficulty, or challenge. Its not going to go away, you to master it and conquer it. If they say, “I want to be like you”. I would say, “Which you? You don’t know anybody.” If they say, “I aspire to do …” I can live with that, but not be like you. In life we assume that we are all writing the same test, but everyone has a different question paper. My journey is so different from yours, some challenges I have faced others won’t face. Life is so personal and experiential. We can’t duplicate our experiences. Our responses to the same experience will be so different. We can be in the same situation, yet our reactions will be so very different because we are different. I would offer the young lady the few words of wisdom I could muster, the first would be find yourself because when you know you it’s the beginning.  To know what you know  what you want and what you don’t.

    What are the things her not to do or stay away from?

    I would say that you have to know yourself, and how certain things impact you, don’t throw yourself into situations. Don’t take anything for granted. Learn from anything going on around you. Be aware of predators, not everyone around you wants the best for you. You have to ascertain who is for you, and who isn’t.  Its about being in touch with the world.

     

     

     

  • Save our children from depravity in the name of Liberalism.

    All through the US presidential campaign. I was a vocal critic of Donald Trump until the very end. Even though like most people I am not enamoured of Hilary Clinton, I believed her to be the lesser of two evils. I just could not imagine who in their right senses would vote for a loud, brash, and offensive maniac like ‘The Donald’. I held this view until the morning of the 9 of November when I heard a US based Nigerian on the Channels TV News speak of Obamacare, and how the Obama administration was indoctrinating young children as young as age five to homosexuality with books like ‘How the prince married the prince’. That opened my eyes to the danger the Clinton administration would pose to the morality of the world.

    It is one thing for an adult to choose a sexual orientation, after all freedom of choice is part of the inalienable rights of a human being, but indoctrinating innocent young children into an unnatural lifestyle is a different kettle of fish. The Obama administration sacked public servants, and even hounded pastors who refused to perform or bless same sex unions, even when the people explained that it contravened their religious beliefs. Thankfully, Trump has promised that America will pull out of countries they are not wanted, ensuring that their choices will remain at home. I join other right thinking people to say to the American government “If policing the world means demanding that the rest of the world join in institutionalized depravity, please go home, and stay there.”

    Come to think of it, Clinton and Obama are straight people encouraging a lifestyle worlds removed from what they practice. The Liberalism the duo espouse as an excuse to  institutionalize  depravity, and sell to the rest of the world in the name of globalization has been repudiated by right thinking Americans. Trump’s election victory reveals the displeasure of the American people with the policies of the Obama administration which would have been continued if Hillary Clinton had won. In the words of Matt Flegenheimer  and Michael Barbaro  in their November 9 post in the New York Times, “The triumph for Mr. Trump, 70, a real estate developer-turned-reality television star with no government experience, was a powerful rejection of the establishment forces that had assembled against him, from the world of business to government, and the consensus they had forged on everything from trade to immigration”.

    The people of America have spoken, proving to the rest of the world that America is not a country of misfits. The duo conclude, “The results amounted to repudiation, not only of Mrs. Clinton, but of President Obama, whose legacy is suddenly imperiled. And it was a decisive demonstration of power by a largely overlooked coalition of mostly blue-collar white and working-class voters who felt that the promise of the United States had slipped their grasp amid decades of globalization and multiculturalism.”

  • How to succeed at work.

    How to succeed at work.

    A successful career doesn’t happen by chance but, as a result of skills, hard work, attitude, and a strategic action plan. Our attitude and looks greatly affect how our persons and work are perceived, especially in the workplace. Here are some things to do to shine at work.

    Always do a great job– More often than not jobs come with job descriptions which set out your employers expectations of you. Success at work means doing your job well at all times. Always endeavour to meet and exceed all targets set by your employers. It is always best to under promise and over deliver, when you are known as the staff who gets the job done, you are well on your way to a successful career.

    Dress for Business Success- I like the popular aphorism “Dress as you wish to be addressed.” Unfortunately, some ladies are yet to understand that no one can tell the content of your character and depend on your manner of dress, and attitude to assess you. As such, donning the right attire will go a long way to help your career. Dress to impress, not titillate, bearing in mind your industry and role. This means suits and blouses or camisoles for bankers, lawyers, and ladies in conservative job roles. For those in Telecomms, a Business casual dress code does not mean that you can wear your weekend attire of jeans and casual tops to work no, rather don dresses, blouses, and/or jackets atop tailored classy pants, or jeans in a dark wash. Make statements with your accessories, especially shoes and bags. Makeup should be subdued and natural.

    natural looking. In all, the professional mode of dress should hint at your efficiency and professionalism, not necessarily your fashion sense.

    Never get your honey where you get your money- Even though some people see nothing wrong with dating a colleague, it really is not such a good idea. Bringing the drama and emotions of your love life to the workplace detracts from the energy that would be better directed to your job.  This is why many employers demand that one party leaves the firm when two of their staff choose to get married. The workplace is the place we spend a large part of our day, and lives, however, our personal and personal lives should be distinct. Some ladies also don’t see anything wrong with dating the boss, another no no. Why? It never pays to be a sexual plaything, especially because women who do that are perceived to be inept, and sleeping their way to the top, which might not necessarily be the case. So babe, do the wise thing and focus on your job.

    Act professionally– A professional demeanor means conducting yourself in a polite and professional manner. No late coming or tardiness, no gossiping, not taking extended personal calls (if at all) during work hours. It means doing the job you are paid to do in a professional manner, giving a positive image of yourself and your employers, at all times.

  • Seven steps to starting a new business

    It is no longer news that we are in a recession, which means that quite a number of people are unemployed, underemployed , and some have even lost their jobs. Rather than sit at home bemoaning your ill luck, or berate the government, this might be the best time to start your own business.
    Arthur Miller- a lifelong Trainer and Consultant stated that one in two people in the U.S are in the wrong job. However, I believe the figures are much higher in Nigeria as experience over the course of my career has taught me. In this post, we will be looking at the necessary steps in finding a new job or business. Either in finding a new job or starting a business, the following steps are imperative to ensure that you go into the business suited to your temperament and have the appropriate skills and training to enable you excel , take advantage of your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses.  As an extrovert, for instance, you should do a business that exposes you to people while introverts are configured to do creative and detail demanding things.
    (1) Establish your primary purpose in life. What is your real purpose in life in starting a new business?  It should be same as your life’s motivation in line with your beliefs (or your faith) once you have determined that your primary purpose , then and only then are you ready to find a different position . Independence, more money, job satisfaction etc. are not good answer in themselves, first settle the matter of who or what is first in your life. What are your values? One should wake up in the morning, and anticipate going to do something you believe in, not one you despise.
     You may need independence, more money, less stress etc. But you need to know that your primary desire should be to seek to make the world a better place. Don’t just pay lip service to it as most Nigerians do, rather seek to be a Conscientious business man/woman in fact, never owe staff salaries no matter what, work hard and maintain high integrity. For Christians, it will include paying your tithe, and never working on Sundays, all these principles are ways of entering into a covenant of wealth with your maker, make Him your senior partner in business. Never sell harmful or illegal products because there are things in life that are more important than money.
    (2) Examine your Temperament: A simple test will help you determine your temperament which is a key to your vocational aptitude, find below the rules of dumb which is a general guide. With that overview, you can tell what vocation best suits your needs.
    Sanguines are people oriented salesmen types who excel in Public-Relations, people helping or anything that requires helping people.
    Cholerics are strong natural leaders who are goal/project oriented individuals who love to manage people.
    Melancholies are creative, analytical individuals with strong perfectionist traits and often have aesthetic traits (most geniuses are melancholy.)
    Phlegmatics are cool, detail conscious individuals who tend to limit themselves. They can do statistical, microscopic work that can drive others berserk.
    (3) PRAY: Man is a spiritual being, unfortunately many see prayer as something to be done in certain places, however it simply means communing with a higher power. When you go beyond simply thinking about your desires to making the effort to commune with higher power or as some call it ‘Pray, Trust, Commitment, and acknowledge’ your spirit somehow draws your desire to you . If you are unemployed, dissatisfied or seeking a new vocation, pray about it. Your discontentment will be removed or the door to a new opportunity will open – if you give him time and draw closer to him during the waiting period.
    (4) SHARE YOUR CONCERN WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST: It helps to share your burden with someone you trust, ensure they share your values, and are qualified to do so. It not only unifies your ideas but puts others on the alert for opportunity because opportunity often comes to us through others.
    (5) INVESTIGATE /RESEARCH: Seeking should motivate us to do something, so make a list of the things you think you can or will like to do, and the income you need to live on, prioritize from those on top and start making contacts. Taking that bold step will make things happen.
    (6) BE FAITHFUL AND WATCH FOR THE OPEN DOOR: The open door could be something as simple as a problem that needs a solution you can provide. For instance only a few days ago I overhead someone decrying the fact that corn starch cannot be obtained in Nigeria, as such their firm had to import it. Is someone thinking? Whatever you do, ensure you do your best where you are, give the best service to your clients, no matter how small and do not despise small beginnings.  There is the need to be 100% faithful at first and always.
    (7) ANTICIPATE THE FUTURE WITH PEACE AND CONFIDENCE: Be concerned but don’t worry. Why? Because worry is unattractive, and often makes people desperate and prone to error