The Nation Newspaper

Tag: keep

  • Playboys hard to keep

    It”s a sunny day and the heat just won’t let you be. Stepping out on the verandah for some fresh air did some magic and you begin to get calm again? A few metres away, your eyes stray to a twosome. Two little buddies wrapped in their world. One has a pretty Barbie doll which she adores and clings to affectionately.

    The other grabs the dull and runs away. Perhaps, she is also in love with this mesmerising doll and they run around while yours truly monitor to find out who it finally ends up with. Surprised, the girl who took the dull is exhausted running around and finally throws the doll into the gutter and that is the end of the battle to win the doll (heart).Why did the person who didn’t care about the fragile doll take it only to discard shortly afterwards?

    The owner of the doll cries and cries while the hijacker could not be bothered. So why grab it only to throw it away? you wonder. That is exactly what happens in the emotional space, a place you just cannot understand or appreciate the intention of the face (heart) smiling in your direction at a glance. Is it for real, could it be some distraction or just revenge?

    The truth of the matter sometimes is that some don’t even know what they want. For Kemi, this is precisely what is happening to her at the moment. She has been in a relationship for about three years now and just cannot decode where it is heading to. The guy in question has so many other admirers and it looks like they have no future together. Playboys are hard to keep; often for everybody and nobody in particular.

    Then one day the bone of her bones emerged and fell head over heels for her.

    “I met Dauda at the bank and since we saw each other that day, we just liked each other. He is always talking to me on phone and there is always a date or a party to attend. I have never dated a guy like that in my life, and, somehow, I kept wondering where this Romeo had been all this while.”

    Her world changed dramatically and everyone could feel the love thing around our dear friend. “I began to give myself more attention unlike in the past. I changed my wardrobe, became more adventurous with my hairstyles and started attending a gym to keep fit.”

    Our babe continued to glow and then a few weeks ago, the jilted lover boy emerged from the blues. Unknown to her, he had taken some of her naked photos whilst they dated. The photos were uploaded online and everyone feasted on it. What a shame! Could this also be the end of the road for her relationship with Dauda? Yes, it was. He gave her a call 24 hours later telling her that he had something he wanted them to discuss.

    “I couldn’t sleep all night and I began to imagine the things he wanted to tell me. Of course, the likely option is that he wanted to talk about the photographs that have become a nightmare.”

    They had lunch and then it was time to talk. The words took so long in coming and when they finally came, he started with, ‘I am sorry, been trying to summon the courage to tell you all this while. Guess this is the best time to do this. I was engaged before I met you but we had some issues and decided to give ourselves some time.

    ‘Now, we are back together and I have come to the realisation that she is the one that I love, not you. What I feel for you is quite different. Once again, I am sorry.’

    Just like that! No, it must be the photographs that have upset him. He never behaved as if there was a substitute somewhere. In all of it, she was the loser in the game. A game she played carelessly, winning nothing and gaining nothing. She was the fool in the whole arrangement but somehow she made up her mind not to remain a victim forever. Love must be somewhere; the solution, of course, would be to try, try and try again.

    Wait a minute. Isn’t love supposed to be for better and for worse? Couldn’t he have forgiven her and forgotten the mess.

    Now, she is back to the emotional classroom, learning the romantic alphabets all over again. Not so easy, the words aren’t flowing properly at all, stammering all the way.

    The principle that kept our dear friend going was her determination, clinging onto the wild world of imaginations, allowing her imaginations to take her where she wants her heart to be and wishing for a better heart. Happiness finally came from that self-conscious awareness that brought Sina, the heart who loved her unconditionally.

  • ‘Keep yourself busy’

    The Board Chairman, International Centre for Professional Development (ICPD) and Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Development), Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta (FUNAAB), Prof Felix Salako, has warned students not to be idle. He made this call at the closing ceremony of the ICPD summer school.

    Salako, who expressed satisfaction at the completion of the programme, urged participants not to take what they had learnt for granted. He drew examples from countries like the United States (US) and India, which used various computer softwares developed by them for human advancement. He expressed satisfaction at the rate at which young people were keying-into computer technology, which according to him, was the thrust of the summer school.

    The coordinator of the centre, Mr. Lawrence Kazeem, said the focus of ICPD was to train participants and make them employable.

    Two participants, Tomisin Owoade and Christopher Ofooluwayan, who spoke on behalf of others, said the training afforded them the opportunity to gain more knowledge in computer technology and feel the beautiful scenery of FUNAAB.

  • Fashola: we’ll keep Lagos roads motorable

    Lagos State Governor Babatunde Fashola (SAN) has promised to make roads motorable in the metropolis.

    He spoke yesterday while inaugurating the Paving Stone Production Line of the State Public Works Corporation at Ojodu.

    Fashola said the interlocking stones would be useful in water logged areas.

    He said: “Having bought this machine, the next step is how we are going to make this machine. I have challenged the engineers that the next set of these machines must be made in Lagos. They have the research funds and the materials. We are not just going to be consuming. For everything we buy now, we must know what works inside it and how it works.”

    The governor praised the management of the corporation for being innovative.

    He said: “There is no other city that has and subjects its roads to the kind of tonnage that Lagos experiences without rail for evacuating goods from the port and still keeps traffic moving like this.

    “Keeping Lagos traffic moving with the cargo that comes through our ports everyday is perhaps the eighth miracle of the world. The Public Works Corporation is our parastatal for road maintenance while the ministry uses contractors to build new roads.”

    Also yesterday, the governor urged residents to support policies and programmes aimed at combating climate change.

    He addressed members of the Climate Change Club in primary and secondary schools at the Police College, Ikeja, in commemoration of the club’s fifth anniversary.

    The theme of the event was: “Eat, Think and Conserve for the Future”.

    Fashola said the responsibility of saving the earth rests on everyone, irrespective of whether they are black or white.

    “The war against Climate Change is a cause to which every member of the society must be committed because we are all involved. We must all support government initiatives aimed at curbing it because in truth and in fact, we will be assisting ourselves.

    “We must all be responsible and responsive to the call to save the earth. It is a challenge that transcends boundaries and affects every sector of our lives.”

  • Why do people make resolutions they may or may not be able to keep?

    At this time of each year, many make resolutions about what to stop doing or start doing in the coming year, with not a few breaking the resolutions, writes Kayode Olaitan, News Agency of
    Nigeria (NAN)

    By most accounts, public opinions have shown that New Year resolutions are easier said than fulfilled.

    There are divergent views on whether or not such resolutions made by individuals are adhered to religiously by them at the end.

    Now, as another year approaches, several people in various gatherings will resolve to drop, add or change some values in their life styles.

    Opinions indicate that only few of these resolutions are firm while the rest are said just to satisfy righteousness.

    For instance, on December 31, 2011, at a Christian vigil, Mr D.I, made a resolution to quit smoking he had been addicted to for almost 20 years, but barely four months into the New Year, he found smoking more interesting than when he quit.

    At the same service, a lady, Miss L.O, resolved that she would stop making trips to a West African country to do a certain business because of the risk involved.

    She said she has been sustaining the resolution since then.

    Why do people see the need to make resolutions they may or may not be able to adhere to?

    The Islamic Forum online stipulates that the New Year is a good time for Muslims to renew the resolutions they made during Ramadan.

    According to it, a list of resolutions which should include spiritual, physical and mental practices should be written down so that one can refer to them throughout the year.

    “Everyone seems to have a bad habit that harms his or her health, such as drinking, smoking and overeating.

    “Keep in mind that any activity that is forbidden in Islam is unhealthy and that any activity that starts to become an addiction is also unhealthy, make a pledge to yourself to identify your addictions and stop them.

    “In many cases in the Qur’an and Hadith, it is mentioned that you do not actually have to perform a bad act to be affected by it. Muslims are encouraged to hang out with people they would like to emulate and not with those that are bad influence on them,’’ it stated.

    The essence of making resolutions is underscored by the desire of mankind to re-assess and re-align some patterns of life for better, according to Pastor John Abiodun of the Redeemed Christian Church of God, Abuja.

    He believes that some people, at a point, perceive they have moved away from what they should be known for or what they ought not to have been doing and when they realise this, they resort to making resolutions.

    “Of course, occasions such as the eve of a new year presents a unique opportunity for making resolutions because of the belief that the old way of life is cast aside.

    “It ought to be a spontaneous confession to the realities of individual’s life-style and a strong determination to maintain whatever is said to be done,’’ he noted.

    He, however, observes that more than 90 per cent of the resolutions made by various people are short-lived.

    “I believe the reason for this is lack of adequate preparation and strong determination to tame some of the activities that hinder the resolutions to be firm.

    “For instance, if somebody says he wants to stop stealing but still finds himself in the midst of criminals, within a short time, such a person will denounce his resolution.

    “Another factor is the prevailing socio-economic situation; somebody may determine to quit prostitution but later finds out that she has no good job or even jobless to fight hunger, definitely she will forget about the resolution.

    “However, in every resolution we make, it requires the Grace of God and prayer for its sustainability because when we make such godly decision and commit it to God, He will provide the strength and means of sustaining it,’’ he said.

    Dr John Grohol, the founder of Psych Central in the U.S, published in a research that people who believe that self-control is something dynamic, changing and unlimited, tend to set more resolutions.

    He cited the instances of those who believe that: “I can stop smoking, all I have to do is put my mind to it. I can also change my eating habit and be a better person, it just takes willpower’’.

    According to him, people who believe that we all are born with a limited, set amount of self-control that one cannot change, naturally do worse on obtaining their New Year’s resolution goals.

    “What this means is that you will do better on your New Year’s goals if you believe that self-control is indeed an unlimited resource that we all have access to and can leverage with our resolutions.

    “The more you believe in your own capabilities, the more likely you will succeed as well; it also seems to help to set more goals, because you will be more likely to succeed at them if you do,’’ he said.

    All arguments notwithstanding, psychologists have identified some tips to help keep resolutions.

    The first is to make only one resolution; picking just one aspect of life to improve and increase chances of success.

    They also suggest planning resolution in advance, instead of waiting until New Year’s Eve to allow for reflection on what to really want to achieve.

    Another tip is to avoid repeating a previous resolution, or at least try a different technique to keep it.

    However, Dr Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology at Hertfordshire University, UK believes that: “If people think they can do it, they probably can, but if they have already tried and failed, their self-belief will be low.

    “By a long way, stopping smoking is the hardest, because there are physiological responses involved; it is an addiction.