Tag: kiss

  • Cost of a kiss

    Cost of a kiss

    Had England won, the FIFA Women’s World Cup 2023 would have sated their eternal thirst — and dream — of “it’s coming home!”; and they would have celebrated it as they did their win in the men’s version in 1966.

    But see how Spain blighted their own win with the cost of a kiss?

    Indeed, the entire British Isles could still be rocking with glee!  Who knows when England would “win it” again?  The men’s triumph of 1966 and European women’s glory of 2022 took all of 56 years!

    During that period, England — men or women — neither won the World Cup nor the Euro, though at the approach of each championship, England’s mental strength (if not raw talent) always suggested they would be hard contenders.

    During that same period, Spain won the Mundial (for men) in South Africa 2010, and — with its famous tiki-taka (sweet passing game) — added the Euro in 2012: then as Euro defending champions, after their 2008 triumph.  They seemed set for quite some hegemony, until the terrible beauty of tiki-taka collapsed at World Cup 2014 in Brazil!

    Read Also: Hermoso files legal complaint over Rubiales kiss

    So, England could have given an arm and a leg to triumph at Australia 2023.  Yet, see what Spain did: a victory they achieved with Iberia class and dash, which reduced the poor English girls to mere doughty grit: unhinged in the face of football poetry, garnished by audacious skills!

    But then, in the euphoria of the moment, Royal Federation of Spanish Football (RFEF) President, Luis Rubiales kissed Jenni Hermoso, one of the victorious girls.  That turned the victory into virtual ash!  Since then, Spanish football has known no peace!

    The inappropriateness of such, even for Latino effervescence, turned a thunder that virtually smashed the Spanish triumph, leaving a tempest in its wake.

    As at the last count,  Rubiales has been suspended.  He refused to resign, claiming he was a victim of a feminist lobby conspiracy, which turned reflex joy into wilful crime. 

    Besides, he claimed the kiss was consensual. Hermoso was like a daughter to him.  But Hermoso later demurred, making the embattled Rubiales to risk criminal prosecution.  

    But that wasn’t the only feminist drama. Angeles Bejar, Rubiales’s mother, launched her own — but in defence of her son!  She claimed he was victim of a vile feminist plot.  She declared herself on hunger strike, and chose her church to gain traction and attention.

    Jorge Vilda, the victorious coach against all odds, has also been sacked, replaced by Montse Tome, Spain’s first woman to handle the female national team. 

    Vilda’s sacking, though sparked by Rubiales’s kiss, was sequel to a September 2022 protest by 15 female players.  Via separate but similar e-mails to RFEF, the 15 national team players pulled out, alleging a “lack of professionalism” that had a serious impact on their “emotional state” and by extension, their “health” — a euphemism for sexual harassment?  

    That pullout all but diminished Spain’s chances.  Yet Vilda triumphed — but got fired. 

    Rubiales’s kiss made all the drama flooding back, thus powering a tempest!  Will Spain’s female football gain or lose from this latest win?

    The stiff cost of a kiss!

  • Kissgate: Hermoso files legal against Rubiales

    Kissgate: Hermoso files legal against Rubiales

    Jenni Hermoso has filed a legal complaint over the kiss by Spanish football federation president Luis Rubiales.

    Rubiales kissed Hermoso on the lips after Spain’s World Cup final win, which she says was not consensual.

    Rubiales claimed  the kiss was “mutual and “consensual”, but has been provisionally suspended by football’s world governing body FIFA.

    The complaint means the 46-year-old could face criminal charges.

    On 29 August, Spanish prosecutors opened a preliminary investigation into whether the incident amounts to a crime of sexual assault.

    Read Also: Man Utd take Antony abuse allegations ‘seriously’

    At the time, Spain’s top criminal court said it was opening its investigation in light of the “unequivocal nature” of 33-year-old Hermoso’s statements, saying it was necessary “to determine their legal significance”.

    “Given the public statements made by Jennifer Hermoso, the sexual act she was subjected to by Luis Rubiales was not consensual,” a statement said.

    It added that legal experts would also contact her “to offer her the option of legal action, giving her the chance to contact National Court prosecutors within 15 days for information about her rights as a victim of an alleged sexual assault should she wish to file a complaint”.

    The statement added: “In order to proceed with a case for sexual assault, harassment or sexual abuse, it will be necessary for the injured party or their legal representative to file suit, or the public prosecutors’ office.”

    Rubiales, who prior to the kiss had been seen grabbing his crotch while celebrating Spain’s 1-0 win over England, has repeatedly refused to resign from his position.

    On Friday, Spain’s national sports tribunal (TAD) opened a misconduct case against him, ruling he had committed a “serious offence” by kissing Hermoso.

    However, the TAD stopped short of the “very serious offence” the government had requested which would have led to his suspension.

    Some 81 Spain players, including all 23 World Cup winners, have said they will not play for the team again while Rubiales is in charge.

    They are due to play in UEFA Nations League qualifying later this month, with fixtures against Sweden and Switzerland on 22 and 26 September.

    On Tuesday, Spain’s World Cup-winning head coach Jorge Vilda – considered a close ally of Rubiales – was sacked, with Montse Tome named as his successor.

  • Another Judas kiss

    Another Judas kiss

    When last week, Atiku Abubakar announced he was leaving APC, few were surprised. It was not whether but when. We anticipated it. As Poet Samuel Coleridge wrote, “anticipation is more potent than surprise.”

    Atiku did not stun anyone by walking out of the APC tent because he was a tenant. The landlords branded him a pariah. To be clear, Atiku could not abort it, so he let the pregnancy grow, and accepted the baby. He graced the naming but no one made him godfather. He neither named the child though he contributed a thing or two during the ante natal days of anxiety. He wanted to be a father or uncle in the conception hour. He got neither. He merely feasted as a faraway grandee in the naming ceremony. He, however enjoyed the privilege of holding the baby in the generous hour of delivery.

    The baby probably screamed and punched Atiku’s bosom, just as in Charles Dickens’ novel Dombey and Son when Dombey’s son screams and kicks and punches as protest for being brought into the world so suddenly. Atiku was not fazed nor was he grouchy. He is not a gauche politician. He never voices a brutish sentiment nor deploys unpolished diction. He may not be debonair but he does not raise his hands ominously in public nor threatens brimstone from heaven. He keeps himself within himself.

    So, in the early days of the Buhari administration, he tried to associate with and hug the baby. He once called President Buhari “the father of the nation.” The baby grew but Atiku never was let in during the rites of childhood: the teething moments, the suckling frenzy as the child slurped and slobbered, the crawls and stumbles before he found his feet, the ta-ta-ta of his tongue in search of the first word.

    So, we could understand since early this year when the voice of the Adamawa patriarch grew progressively radiant in rage against the system. He was at his loftiest in the restructuring debate. His potency and mellifluous rendering were less a signature of his conviction as salvos of revenge to Aso Rock and its wheel horses.

    Atiku was ambitious. Apart from Buhari, no one in Nigeria has eyed the supreme post as the Adamawa titan. He was naïve to expect Buhari and his clan to clasp him to their bosoms. As Winston Churchill’s friend, Lord Beaverbrook, once said, “a man with a will to power can’t make friends.” He was a vice president and sniffed the majestic aroma of the top chair. He wants it and wants it now. Buhari was in the top chair before, even if by impunity, and he wanted it back even with democratic effluvia. But he flunked three times. Buhari knows how it is to want it badly, and so understands why Atiku is quietly growling. So, both cannot be good friends.

    Especially when Atiku in the early days partnered with Oloye Eleyinmi to undermine him for a coup in the Senate. He also wanted to be chair of the board of trustees. He fluffed. He saw the bathwater, not the cot or baby. His rent as tenant expired. No wanting to be an exile at home, he exited the tent.

    His power quest reminds one of Awo, who never had the opportunity, and whom Dan Agbese first described before his death as “the best president Nigeria never had.” But Atiku has none of Awo’s charisma, mystique, moral heft, political infrastructure, intellectual might or visionary appeal.

    His ambition reminds me of the opening lines of Jane Austen’s novel, Pride and Prejudice. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Atiku has possessed so much wealth he is in want of power; in this case, presidency.

    That was the story of Moshood Abiola and his fabulous nest. These guys have so much money they become unhappy without power. But Atiku craves power like Hobson’s choice. His has become a metaphor for the major ailment of Nigerian politics: the lack of ideology or principle. Atiku is now the signpost of the Nigerian whore in politics. He has had his own machine known as the PDM, which he also inherited from his mentor General Musa Yar’adua, who died in search of power in prison. Yar’adua transferred the gene to Atiku. Yar’adua never wanted to back anyone who was not Yar’adua. He never associated with the power blocs up north, he never associated with progressives, he distanced himself from Abiola, and never joined the battle for June 12. When he was picked up, no one fought for him.

    Atiku joined PDP, became vice president, fought the Owu chief, joined ACN, returned to PDP, defected to APC. He is expected to announce his return to PDP. Hence, I once called him the peripatetic harlot of Nigerian politics. He is not alone in this. The APC, for all its self-congratulations, is a hodgepodge of quite a few harlots. That’s why Atiku thought he could fit in so well. He failed there not because APC was a better brothel but because even whoring brothers disagree. Atiku was the wrong whore for the APC.

    No politician will judge Atiku for sleeping with the enemy. They will scoff him for his Judas kiss. But he does not need to get any amount of silver from anyone. Even the lashing of his firms cannot upturn his robust nest. His ambition is his life work. It does not matter if he is like Sisyphus of the Greek myth who pushes a rock up hill and, when near the summit, the rock falls down, and he goes up and down again forever without taking the rock to the top. In Homer’s classic The Odyssey, Odysseus visits the land of the dead and sees Sisyphus still at it.

    Maybe Atiku is contented simply to pursue the dream without getting there. French philosopher Albert Camus argues in his The Rebel that Sisyphus was happy. Maybe Atiku will find happiness in the toil of ambition even if he does not reach the summit.

     

     

    El-Rufai vs Teachers

     The diminutive governor of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai, got in the eye of the storm over tests and presumable firing of teachers who could not pass primary four tests. What bothered me most in this furore is the Nigerian Union of Teachers who did not like the tests and the decision to separate the teachers from the job. I agree with the Kaduna State governor. We cannot have anyone feed our children with ignorance. There is no way they should teach anyone. Such teachers are an infection. In the north, we worry about insurgency and Boko Haram, which say western education is sin. Then teachers sin against the same education. El-Rufai may consider any palliatives for the sacked teachers. But the teachers deserve no pity for deliberately imposing the poison on their minds on innocents. We want more information on how they got hired. Corruption is key here, but whatever the suffering the teachers will undergo when removed cannot compare to the thousands of unbaked venomous minds they spew out as students into the world. I will visit this topic fully another day, but suffice it to say that El-Rufai should be congratulated for his ruthless decision. Education is too important a matter to be left in the hands of ignoramuses.

     

    Obituary

    For Peter Obi, the soft-spoken former governor, it is Obituary in Anambra State politics. Willie Obiano’s victory is Obi’s political death knell. He installed Obiano, but now Obiano is presiding over his funeral. Obi, a decent man though, is now a statesman without a state. He is in a state of what Buddhists call Bardo, or Catholics  call limbo. Will he look like the characters in the Booker-winning novel, Lincoln in The Bardo by George Saunders, where Abraham Lincoln meets with his son in the Afterlife? Obi’s candidate could not even flatter him with a second position. Obiano buried him in a landslide. Adieu, the girl-voiced warrior.

  • Pete Edochie may have shared first kiss in a movie

    Pete Edochie may have shared first kiss in a movie

    Veteran actor, Pete Edochie is caught in an irresistible romantic affair with Ghanaian beauty, Juliet Ibrahim as he stars in a new movie, Kenny’s Divas, a brainchild of his goddaughter, Adaslim.

    Kenny’s Divas is set to make waves as the Things Fall Apart star gave his first kiss in a movie to Juliet Ibrahim.

    Written and Produced by Adaslim, Kenny’s Divas stars Pete Edochie, Juliet Ibrahim, Adaslim, Bryan Okwara, Patrick Doyle, Nora Roberts, Cossy Orjiakor, Rubby Dabbour and Oby Somina Okafor.

    Directed by Adim Williams with co-directions by Ifenna Eze, Malcolm Besnson and Alexis Robinson, Kenny’s Divas tells an intriguing tale of Boss Kenny’s all female team. Boss Kenny, played by Pete Edochie is also secretly involved in a romantic relationship with a member of his female team – Kosara played by Juliet Ibrahim. Unknown to him, his protege, Bryan Okwara, was also enjoying a secret affair with Kosara and all hell was let loose when the boss found out.

    Adaslim said Kenny’s Divas will leave fans on the edge of their seats with suspense.

    Kenny’s Divas is one movie after my heart,” she said.

    “Aside going all out to get my godfather, Pete Edochie to star in the movie, I was awed by the sterling performance each act on the movie delivered and this I can say is what will keep the fans on the edge of their seats all through viewing.

    “I’ve been working for a while and not many knew what I was up to but it was indeed a lot of hardwork with lots of resources also put to good use by my team. We have three movies shot and ready for the market and they are Kenny’s Divas, a comedy, Papa Bomboy and a romantic drama, How To Play A Player.”

  • KISS DANIEL  TO DROP  DEBUT  ALBUM MAY 1

    KISS DANIEL TO DROP DEBUT ALBUM MAY 1

    SELF-ACCLAIMED Nigeria’s king of new generation music, Kiss Daniel, is set to drop his debut album, titled New Era May 1. The twenty-tracker album, according to Daniel, features only label mate Sugar Boy.

    Speaking at the media unveiling of the album recently in Lagos, Daniel gave reasons why he featured only his label mate on his soon-to-be-released album.

    “The album is like a story and the best person that could interpret the story is Sugar Boy because he knew me when we were starting, he knew the hustle. So I no fit put another person on top album wey dem no go understand wetin I talk all through the album,” he said.

    Daniel, however, stated that his new album will make a huge correction of people’s belief that good music doesn’t sell.

    “When I came into the industry I heard a lot that good music doesn’t sell but I want to correct that with this album,” the budding star added.

    Following the album release, will be an album concert on May 7 at the prestigious Eko Hotels and Suites, Victoria Island, Lagos which the artiste promised will be one of the biggest events of the first half of the year. The concert, he said, will feature the crème de la crème of Nigerian entertainment and will also see him performing some of his hits songs.

    It will be recalled that Kiss Daniel shot into limelight in 2014 with his smash hit song, Woju which captured music lovers’ hearts.

  • From French kiss to French leave

    A peck on the cheek? Not quite, it certainly is much more than that. Muah! Welcome to the emotional clouds, the best example of the sound of a kiss. The French kiss which gives the sound of your lips when you kiss in a very passionate process. This is the interjection or what literary minds would refer to as the onomatopoeia for a kiss.

    A compassionate kisser is confident and can easily interpret the affectionate notes. French kissing almost always leads to more intimate behaviour,’ kisses’  that stir up feelings in your partner. However, it is better done with someone you care about and it’s really not fair to get someone all worked up just to send him or her away wanting. It is not about dreaming but being in it for the long haul.

    The French kiss is therefore a timeless expression of romantic passion, something we have all seen or experienced at one time or the other. An exciting and intimate moment between two people who are attracted to one another, and a symbol of that passion. Experts would readily tell you that the French kiss is not a science; it is an art that is open to the interpretation of all who partake.

    About two years ago, Ronke got entangled with Biodun and he literarily swept her off her feet. It was a season for deep kisses; a very passionate experience which she thought was going to last forever. Sadly, the kissing spree lasted for about fifteen months only. It took her up the emotional hill, panting and asking for more like Oliver Twist. Just while she was savouring the bliss, he discovered another kissing partner. Time to say goodbye? No, there wouldn’t be an opportunity to say goodbye. All she can remember now is that their love had gone cold. What she thought was love wasn’t really love.

    “I got into a relationship with my cousin’s (Soji) best friend. They were both classmates and best of pals. Each time they came home together, Soji marketed his friend’s love for me and gradually I fell for Biodun.” The matchmaker worked on her and she fell for the cheap lies.  She staggered around, drunk in love and thanking her stars for conquering such a heart.

    “He was such a wonderful person to be with and we went almost everywhere together. It was a wonderful experience, but somehow Mr. Right was slow in making any concrete commitment and he just wasn’t ready to settle down. We talked about it a couple of times but Biodun kept on saying that he needed to take care of his financial needs so that we do not get in trouble in future.”

    Tired of complaining, she switched over to the proverbial side of the emotional bone as the patient dog. One afternoon, she stopped at a restaurant to have lunch. As she walked into the place, she saw her sweetheart wrapped in the arms of another woman. “Biodun, please what’s happening here?” she queried. Guilty?

    No, not really. “Do you think that you are going to achieve so much by trailing me or monitoring my movement? You can’t force me to marry you against my wish. Hope you understand that.” His voice changed and that voice did not sound like someone that was in love with her at all. All this meant was that she had been wasting precious time with emotional lip service.

    Better to abandon this heart for the new heart keeper. She tried to make an emotional U-turn. Not so fast! Her rival who had been staring at her with green eye envy moved towards her, charging like a wounded lioness. “So you are the one that has been causing me nightmares? I would deal with you now.”

    It turned out to be a real nightmare, worse because all her life, she had never fought over a man. In a short while they became the cynosure of all eyes; she found herself in an emotional brawl with a wild cat. You can’t afford to play the fool here. Panting and swearing, her rival fought with everything, her nails, teeth and legs inclusive. By the time the bloody fight was over, her clothes were in shreds and her body was sore. Luckily, some kind folks intervened and rescued her from this desperate ‘Dracula’.

    End of the road. Now her heart is emotional sabbatical. That chapter was not just closed but it left her crying and crying for a lost heart. Where exactly did she go wrong? How come she did not know that she was just a spare? Why did she get carried away with the kiss? The emotional theatre had moved on and she was the only cast that did not have a role to play.

    Life and love, like Shakespeare said, are, indeed, stages. Emotional actors should be on standby, ready to play their role at the right time. That, interestingly, is the only way you can make the best of the emotional stage. Once you are missing in action, not in control, another character may just take over your role. Could this be a better cast? The crux of the matter here is that nobody is truly indispensable.

  • My tongue ached for three days after my first kiss –  Ex-Governor  Victor Attah

    My tongue ached for three days after my first kiss – Ex-Governor Victor Attah

    Obong Victor Attah is an accomplished architect and former governor of Akwa Ibom State from 1999 to 2007. A man who does not believe in sitting on the fence over an issue, he once led a protest as a student at the Ahmadu Belo University Zaria, Kaduna State over alleged frustration of Nigerian architectural students by the then British lecturers. Long before then, he had protested against his parents’ church, Qua Iboe Church, by opting out to join the Catholic communion for refusing him baptism because he was too young to raise the required dues. In this interview with Assistant Editor, LINUS OBOGO, in his Abuja office, Obong Victor Attah spoke about his journey in life, regrets, his first kissing experience and sundry issues.Excerpts:

     

     How would Obong Victor Attah describe his essence?

    There is really no one essence to describe a man. Your question is a multi-dimensional one. That is, if you were to ask my staff what kind of man I am, they will define me as a type of employer that they know me to be. And if you ask any member of my family what kind of man I am, they will define me differently by telling you that I am the kind of husband, father and grandfather that they have known me to be. Similarly, if you were to ask my political associates what kind of man I am, they will also tell you that I am that kind of politician that they know me to be.

    So, you asking me about my essence, all I can tell you is that I try to be a decent human being with principles that will stand me before my Creator and I can only say that I have done my best.

     

    How would capture the kind of family were you born into?

    Without sound immodest, permit me to say that I was privileged to have been born into the family of educated parents. My father, the late Bassey Attah was the second Nigerian ever to have a university degree in Agriculture and the first to obtain a Master’s degree in the same discipline. My wife also, was an educated woman who was a school teacher. So, I can consider myself born into a privileged family.

     

    Coming from a background where you father was Nigeria’s second graduate of Agricultural Science, and the country’s first Master’s holder in the same discipline, how were you inspired or influenced by all of this, educationally?

    I was positively inspired. I grew up to realise the value of education in human development. My father believed so much in the importance of education. When he returned to Nigeria after completing his education in the U.S., he was sent to Moore Plantation in Ibadan and later to Oil Palm Research Station (OPRS), which is now called NIFOR, in Benin, Edo State. Much later, he was sent to the Cameroun. This was a time when Quinine was our only cure for Malaria. So, my father was the one who developed and grew all the Quinine plantations used for the treatment of Malaria then as well as the banana plantations in the Cameroun.

    The reason I am telling you this in relation to education is to let you know that I was born at a time when he was leaving for his studies in the US in 1938. He returned to Nigeria in 1945. He studied through the Second World War years.

    Upon his return, to Nigeria, he was moving his children of whom I was one of the seventh from one part of the country and from one station to another. I remember that in those days, even when you studied English as a language, you actually taught in the mother tongue.

    So, at Moore Plantation in Ibadan, we were trying to study Yoruba, which we eventually did not speak. In Benin, we were also at the OPRS trying to speak Edo, which we also did not speak. It was the same situation in Cameroun, trying to learn one of the languages, which we ended up not speaking.

    With this unsettled life, my father felt if we went on like that, we were not going to be educated if we continued like that. So, he sent my mother along with the rest of my siblings back to Uyo so that we could live a settled life and pursue our education. His decision was a demonstration of how much he loved education. He made sure we did not only have to go to school, but a school good and decent one at that. He was determined to push us as far as he possibly could, educationally.

     

    How was your growing up like?

    I must say that it was quite interesting. When you grow up in what could be described as a privileged family, certain things come your way naturally or as a giving. There is this story that I am going to tell you without mentioning names. There was this incident in which someone, in an attempt to abuse us, told my siblings and me that we were trying to be like the joneses. But someone else who was listening, quickly stepped in and said the family we came from, were the real joneses and so we could not be trying to be like the joneses.

    While we were growing up, one of the enduring lessons our father taught us was humility and obedience to law as the essential ingredients, if we were to grow up as complete personality. As a child, my father preferred I studied engineering, but I was rather excited studying architecture because it was more of a creative endeavour than engineering.

     

    Given the kind of family background you belonged, what sort of awe or respect would you say you inspired in your peers and neighbours?

    Fear, definitely not! We did not have to use our position to intimidate anybody. But sadly, I see that happening today. If you are truly and sufficiently educated and you are sure of yourself, then, you do not need to intimidate anybody. However, you can inspire by offering the right thought and the right direction. You must enjoy the benefit of being taken into consideration and being consulted. That is what people expect from anybody in any society. Honestly, if you try not to open your mouth too wide when you are sure of your subjects, people will definitely respect and look up to you.

    While growing up, I found out that this was not too difficult to do because people just expected that I should know everything under the sun. So, even when I did not know, I would ask questions until we arrived at a solution.

    Our father taught us three things that would help us go through life: always say please; always say thank you when someone does something nice to you, even when you paying someone for doing something and finally, do not ever hesitate to say I am sorry to even the most lowly because you can do something wrong to him or her who is the most lowly in your midst.

     

    How rascally was young Obong Victor Attah?

    To be honest with you, I really do not know whether to call it rascality, but I was very firm on my principles. So, I do not know if that was rascality. Today, I am a Catholic and a knight of the Catholic Church, but my parents were Qua Iboe and they died Qua Iboe. I can tell you the story quite simply. I was Quo Iboe, grew up in Qua Iboe where I did my baptismal exams and passed successfully, but on the day of baptism, I was told I was too young and too small and would not be able to pay the church dues and stuff like that. Before then, I could not recall ever crying like I did following that disappointment of not being baptized. I was still in elementary school and was quite young then. I returned home that day and looked at my parents in the face and told them ‘if your church baptizes people simply because they could afford the church dues, I am not accompanying you to that church again. So, if you want to call that rascality, so be it. But I will describe that as standing on principle. From that day, I stopped being Qua Iboe. After that I went through different Christian denominational churches until finally, I decided that I wanted to be catholic.

     

    So your leaving Qua Iboe was more of what could be described as a rebellion or protestation?

    My Catholicism was not because I was born into it, but to borrow your word, it was more of protestation. That protestation marked a certain milestones in my life. That protestation also went with me when I was a student at the Nigeria College of Arts, Science and Technology, Zaria, Kaduna State, which is now the Ahmadu Bello University, ABU.

    At Zaria, I discovered that architecture was one subject Nigerians were not doing very well in. they could pass in several other subjects, but in architecture. So, I embarked on a protest. I went to our student union leader and said to him that something was wrong. How come that they would admit about 30 of us and that number would suddenly drop to half when getting to our third year and then to about three in our final year? Even then, some of the three ‘surviving’ ones would still not pass very well.

    So, what made me to protest very strongly was that most of the young Nigerian architectural students who were purportedly not passing their architectural exams found their way to England and did very well, even better than some of the English students in the same architectural course. Do not forget that at Zaria, we were being taught by British lecturers. So, I put two and two together and came to the conclusion that there must be something fundamentally wrong somewhere. If it was that we could not do very well in architecture, then these Nigerian students who left Nigeria for the UK should also not do well over there. So, I protested.

    So, I acquired the distinction or reputation, if you like, of being the first person to engineer a students’ protest in Zaria, which later became ABU in 1960. Following the protest, there was a major inquiry at the end of which it was recommended that the British lecturers in ABU Zaria would never allow me to pass out. I was a private student because my father was paying my fees. That was how I was sent abroad to study.

    So I found myself in a British school in the UK and I did very well. It was discovered that my protest had a basis. It was only when we had our independence that for the first time, a Nigerian became Head of the Department of Architecture, in the person of Professor Adeyinka Adeyemi, that we got know what the secret was. It was clearly established that the British were finding it difficult to graduate African professionals, but mostly in architecture and the building industry not only in ABU but everywhere.

    The reason for this was simple. The British had just returned from the war and could not all be absorbed in the workplace. So, they were being sent abroad. The implication was that if we qualified too early and too many, there would not be room for the British war returnees. That was why we were failing and failing and failing but would go to the UK and do very well.

     

    Given the nomadic life your father lived, having to be moved from one part of Nigeria to another a result of his profession as an agricultural officer, you must have imbibed many cultures. How much of these varied cultures would you say shaped your worldview?

    Well, the word nomadic, as you used it, would be rather too strong. But that being said, I will say that the experience exposed me very early to the country, Nigeria. We had been in the west, east, north and even as far the Cameroun, the Southern part of Cameroun. That is why when I tell people that I know Nigeria very well, I am not just making an empty boast.

    I did not speak any of the languages of the areas we lived. But the experience, however, made me to appreciate the richness of our vast cultures. It also made me to understand why certain people do certain things in a certain kind of way. I can almost certainly anticipate what their behaviour and reaction will to be.

     

    So what values would you say the different cultures you have had romance with inculcated in you?

    They inculcated tremendous values in me, because the different cultures made me a lot more tolerant of other people’s attitude and idiosyncrasies and their way of life. It taught me to be more accommodating of others, just as it has helped me to be a lot more understanding of the various people. It has also been helping me whenever I want to argue for or against certain things. For instance, if there is an issue and which I need to make an input, I should be able to say to whomever, that from the part of the country you come from, your culture does not support your position on this or that issue. And owing to my interaction with different cultures, I can afford to look at anyone in the face and say to him or her without any fear of contradiction that your action would not be permissible in your culture if you were to do that back home.

     

    As a Christian and a catholic for that matter, how often would you turn the other cheek if wacked on the other one?

    (Prolonged laughter) The scriptural requirement of turning the other cheek has been very severely abused. When God said we should turn the other cheek, He did not say we should be timid. He did not say we should be cowardly. He gave us the spirit of strength and of good understanding. If you are confronted with evil, will you close your eyes to it and turn the other cheek simply because the Bible says we should turn the other cheek? If you do not confront it, I do not think you are going to have any kind of success at all.

    Christ came and confronted the evil that he saw in the world, which led to His crucifixion and resurrection. If he had not confronted what he saw, we would not have had redemption. Let me tell you this and in all honesty, much as I do not like to be confrontational: I do not run away from taking a stance. I can take a stance and as a matter of fact, a very firm one.

     

    But was there a time that you had had to turn the other cheek?

    Very many times I have done so. We have a saying in place which goes thus ‘ekpe tuk, edu guduen’, which translate as ‘do not think the lion as cowardly just because it panics at being frightened’. Do not mistake the lion’s first reaction for cowardice as it might growl and pounce on you after realising that you are just a prey.

     

    Nigeria has continued to have more than its fair share of collapsed buildings. As an architect, what would you adduce as factors responsible for this?

    It is a phenomenon of the non-patronage of professionals in the building sector of the economy. Nigerians like to cut corners and they will always cut corners. If you go to an architect, he is going to charge you his professional fees because that is what he lives on. But if you have to deny him his professional fees, then you must seek the services of a quack. Or better still, you may decide to do it your own way, after all, who cannot build a house? That is what I often hear people say, I know how to build a house. But does that make them professional in the field of building and civil engineering? We have tried in this profession to tell the government that this is all wrong. There should be a dividing line building professionals and suppliers.

    Today, the man who sells sand sees himself as a contractor, another who supplies water at building sites is also a building contractor. So, they are all building contractors and engineers without professional expertise or skills. It is an all comers’ affairs and the government appears to be helpless. Even those who give design approvals do not insist on the design being handled by professionals.

    Occasionally, there is professional negligence on the part of the professional because he does not supervise adequately. And often, it is because the man for whom he designs says he does not want to pay you fees for supervising because he can supervise himself.

    In building, there is a cement/sand ratio for sandcrete blocks, but today, a tipper of sand is mixed with a bag of cement to produce 5000 blocks. The implication is that the building was already designed to collapse. When you build without enough reinforcement, buildings are bound to collapse.

    I can say it with all the conviction and authority that less than two per cent of our built environment is today under the design and supervision of professionals. The rampant incident of collapsed buildings must be looked at from two or more perspectives: we are building so much more now and so, the phenomenon seems to be larger than ever before; secondly, there is media spread so much more widely done now than it was in the past. Then, the media has a role to play by assisting us to tell this government and subsequent governments that the last lawyer to have ever set his foot in any Nigerian law court was Sir Dingle Foot (QC). It was a serious issue raised by the late Chief Obafemi Awolow (May his soul rest in peace), who said then that the man had no business entering the Nigerian court to practice.

    The lawyers have succeeded and the doctors have also succeeded in stamping out infiltration by non-professionals and non-Nigerians. Unless you are licensed to practice law in Nigeria, you cannot set foot in the country to practice law in our courts. For the doctors, unless you are licensed to practice medicine as a foreigner, you are not allowed to prescribe even APC. You cannot prescribe APC unless you are licensed by the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA). It is a serious matter, but when you come to the building industry, people who are not even qualified to practice in their own country are bringing designs and drawings which we are accepting.

    There is no regard and respect for professionals in the Nigerian building industry and there is no enforcement of our building code.

     

    What would you consider as the high point of your architectural career?

    Have I gotten there yet? In truth, I am looking for things to do now that will be my signature project and I will retire home to the Lord. I am 74 and going on 75. Soon, I should stop practicing. As creative an endeavour as architecture is, your success depends to a very large extent on the client. If your client is very understanding and is able to indulge you and you are able to produce a good design, it becomes a reference point in a long time to come. I am still looking for that client.

    The problem with most of our clients in the building industry is that they are too impatient. Why is it that projects take long years to complete and often abandoned by contractors, yet architects are rushed to produce designs? Professionally, it is difficult to shift a line on a design than to have a structure demolished.

    The closest that I came to agreeing that I have designed a good structure that could be a reference point is the NDIC head office building here in Abuja. And funnily enough, it is the only one among several buildings in Abuja that I can point to as my design.

    What interest me about that building is that a British architect who practices here in Nigeria, and whom I met at a social function said to me that he would tell me what would interest me. I asked him what would be? He said some of his foreign colleagues from the UK came on a visit and he was taking them round Abuja, and as they were going, they saw the NDIC building and asked him to stop, according to him, they said the building looked like it was designed by an architect. They drew closer and took a look at the building. That, to me, is something to be proud of. It turned out that way because my client allowed me enough time to experiment with designs.

     

    Do you have a habit and if yes, what would that be?

    Yes, I have a habit and the habit is hard work. It is a habit that people have complained about. The fact is that I enjoy what I do. But that is not to say that I do not recreate. I go on vacations every year. I do that with my family so that when we come back, we have things to talk about together. But once I return to Nigeria, nothing else takes the place of work.

     

    What has been your saddest moment in life?

    My saddest moment was to have lost my wife to the cold hands of death. That was the best companion that I had who made life very meaningful to me.

     

    Despite that there were many beautiful Nigerian women, why did you have to settle for a woman from the Barbados?

    You should have asked me where we met. Anyway, I will give a simple answer. I met my wife while in the university in Leeds, England. Again, let me borrow your word, after my protestation at ABU, I was sent to continue my university education in England. I was so young then that my father tried to persuade me to return after my graduation to marry a Nigerian lady, but my younger brother had to personally write to my father asking him to leave me alone to marry whoever that my heart agreed with. He told my father that it was a matter of market availability. He said if I had reached marriageable age and the only available market to me then was what surrounded me in the UK. So be it. That is the kind of family I come from. So it was a matter of market availability.

    If I was in Nigeria at the time I wanted to marry, it would have been a Nigeria because I would not have left Nigeria in search of a wife in Barbados. But I have no regret at all that I found the kind of wife I did. She was a wonderful woman.

     

    How disappointed was your father with your decision?

    He was not disappointed. Rather he was so pleased that I married someone he came to regard as a daughter. He was extremely happy with the choice I made.

     

    If you had a second chance, where would she come from?

    (Cuts in) Are you suggesting that I marry again? But if that were to happen, this is the available market now. There will certainly be no need of going back to Barbados to marry another wife.

     

    So, has His Excellency started receiving applications from suitable applicants from the available market?

    (Cuts in with prolonged laughter) Do you advertise for this? No, nobody places an advert for a wife. It was just a few months ago that I buried my wife. So let us leave that for the time being.

     

    What was that invaluable piece of advice that your father gave you and which you have taken along with you up to date?

    He told my siblings and me to always remember three things: to say ‘please, thank you and sorry’. He added another: remember that hard work has never killed anybody. But if you do not work hard, you might die of starvation.

     

    What is your biggest motivation in life?

    I am motivated by the desire to succeed. If I accomplish a task and it turns out successful, I feel like doing more. Success is my biggest motivation.

     

    If you were to go back 45 years, what is that thing that you would have loved to do differently?

    Please, I will beg of you not to go back that far. Just take me back to 2007 and I would have insisted that Nigeria should elect the kind of president she should have. I just regret the fact that Nigeria has never been allowed to elect freely the kind of president she ought to have. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that the leadership we have at the moment is bad or anything of sorts. That is not what I am saying. But the fact remains that we have never been allowed to choose our president freely. It is only then that we can make progress as a country. That is all I am really insisting on. I listen to former President Olusegun Obasanjo saying the last time that Nigeria lacks good leadership material. That is not true and he knows it. Why I said he knows it is because it was in his time that we said Awolowo was the best president we never had. Why did we not have him? Yet he was the best material. It was because he was not allowed to be president. It was also in his time that we came up with this theory of twelve two third. Over the years, we have been manipulating and manipulating to ensure that the best man does not get the job. Nigeria has abundant leadership potential and possibilities. So, his statement was not correct.

     

    How was the experience the first time you kissed a woman?

    (pauses) Wait a minute, wait a minute. Please don’t laugh. If you are asking about kissing someone passionately, it was something I did while I was in the UK. It was a feeling I can never forget. I kissed and kissed and kissed that after three days later, I complained to my roommate that I wanted to go and see a doctor because my tongue was aching. I told him I did not know what was wrong with my tongue. I had kissed for so long that my tongue started aching. That was how wonderful it was. It was the person who eventually became my wife. The experience was absolutely fantastic.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • My pastor boyfriend talks to me only when he wants to kiss me

    Good afternoon madam. I’m 16 years old. I met this man; he’s 23 years and he’s a pastor and we’re dating. Each time I visit him he doesn’t talk to me, but he will rather drop recharge cards on the bed for me to load in my phone and exchange SMS with him while we’re in the same rum. But when I leave, he will call and talk to me telling me how much he enjoyed my company. And when I’m around, he will never talk to me, the only time he looked at my face and talked was when he asked me to kiss him. Please madam, I am confused; what should Ii do? I need your advice. Reply me please. J.

    Dear J, shy people find it hard to express themselves when they’re around the people they love but I doubt if your pastor boyfriend plays dumb when you’re around due to shyness. Shy people don’t play dumb, they talk, but you could tend to be uneasy when they’re around the people they love and they may not be able to lock eyes with you for a long time. They may get busy doing something to hide their uneasiness.

    But not talking at all means something else. I suspect that Mr. Pastor is just playing games with you and he’s enjoying the fun the suspense is generating.

    The world is full of pastors these days o! Who made him a pastor at 23? Why would he make a small girl of 23 his girlfriend? Why would he be in the same room with you and not utter a word to you and why would he drop recharge cards on the bed for you?

    Watch how you go visiting this queer guy alone. The Ibos (I think) have a saying that one day, monkey go go market, e no go return. I pray he won’t make a monkey out of you. He has started by dropping

    recharge cards for you on the bed and asking you to kiss him. It will progress from there as you encourage him in this deaf and dumb game.

    He will ask you to touch something one day and from there others things may set in.

    J, your age mates these days are discovering their talents and making good use of it. There are so many of your age mates in the university now going after course work and all other important things. A lot of your age mates who are not so lucky to be in schools are learning vocations that will make them better people. Face what’s important and let Pastor go and face church work. His own pastor is one of the bad ones that will ask a small girl to meet him in the bedroom. Please give me his full names and the name of his church; I will help you find out if their church doctrines allow unmarried people of different sexes to stay together in a room.