…We may call them also to book a tour of the national assembly structures… not to see where our money is going (we’ll never see that) but to at least see where our lawmakers plant their behinds when they are debating those bills we know nothing about
Last week, dear reader, we lamented the fate of one Mrs. Egede who fell in the hands of a brute; and we went to town on how the collective leadership of this country, executive and legislative, had contributed to her death. Sometime in the week, I then chanced on a newspaper report about a United States Congresswoman who gave us a lesson in Nigeria on how and why we must hold our lawmakers accountable. Oh yes, she also lamented that the said lawmakers had not done much, if anything, to help our Chibok girls come back home.
Truly, I have found it rather baffling that it is taking this long to find these blessed saints of God. What, I ask myself, are our more than fifty million men in this country doing if they cannot find these girls? What are they all going to do at work in their newspaper offices, police posts, army cantonments, corporate offices, fire stations, mechanics’ workshops, university classrooms, national assembly, etc., when they cannot find a number of missing girls? Why, let supper be late a few minutes, the men begin to holler across the hall, ‘what is going on in that kitchen? Why is supper so late? What have you been doing all day?’ Um hun; now, our girls are missing and our men are hiding behind their newspapers. Oh, no more newspapers these days, eh, only cell phones? Prima.
I will not report the theories I have been hearing over these ‘missing girls’ story. They are so many. Suffice it to say that they are not palatable in any way. Of greater concern to us today is this matter of how we can make our assemblymen and women begin to hear us when we holler across to them on any matter. For instance, when I look down my palm and my housekeeping money has disappeared into the market (no, not into my wardrobe), I should be able to holler to my councilman, state assemblyman, Federal Representative or Senator, and they must hear me and also do something. They must all scurry to my aid. Ha!, in Nigeria you say? That’ll be the day!
I tell you, I have always said Nigerians are biting more than they can chew on this democracy thing. For starters, please if you understand the democratic system we are running and the way it is supposed to work, please raise up your hand. Let’s see, one….one…one… What, only my hand is up? I was using it to count. Seriously, the level of democratic literacy in this country is too low.
Do you remember that at the beginning of this republic, every elected official found his way to the U.S. ostensibly to ‘study the democratic system’ and how it works at state expense? The idea was that they would come back and put their knowledge into good practice for the benefit of the Nigerian mankind. Unfortunately, they came back with close to zero knowledge on democratic education but with a great deal of knowledge on something they call ‘lobbying’. In Nigerian parlance, it means sharing office. Now, occupying those offices, our lawmakers have become our masters.
Anyway, my point is that they failed to take the electorate along on those trips so that we could also learn how to have expectations in this democracy thing. Since that did not happen, we the electorate have somehow got on in the best way we can. Thus, our expectations have been directed not at statecraft or state development but self-development. Now, what we expect from those lawmakers that come from our families hinges mostly on favours regarding what to eat, admission for our children, raising the marks of our children, adding to our housing funds, changing stubborn wives, changing useless husbands, buying new cell phones, new shoes, new cars, etc. Yep, they are useful after all, I mean the lawmakers. The only problem is that they escape with most of the funds that are supposed to be used to provide water, electricity, good One Reader’s Digest article I read on the subject was very detailed on the five or so things that we are expected to call our lawmakers on and for. It says that we are expected to call them to ‘express our opinion’, particularly on bills. I add that we can also tell them what we think of them. I would advise that you be at least ten thousand miles away when you do the latter one. Anyways, to do the first one, you must know what bills are being debated in the house in the first place. Since most of us are more occupied with what we will eat, however, what goes on in the assembly really does not feature much on the menu.
The article further stated that we should call our lawmakers more often because they can help us get our passports faster, particularly when we need to travel urgently. Well, since most of us don’t travel any farther than our villages to hunt game for holidays, we don’t carry passports. The animals don’t ask for passports before allowing us to shoot them. When they begin to ask, then we’ll know what to do. However, this does not mean we should not call our lawmakers when we have emergencies; we should. Please call them when food runs out in the house, your husband is late coming home, your wife refuses to cook dinner… Perhaps, calling them frequently will reduce the number of people desperate to become lawmakers.
We are also advised to call them when we need help getting our benefits such as social security (we don’t have that here) or veterans (they literally take care of themselves) or pensions. Now, you’re talking. We need all the help we can get on how we can quickly collect our pensions or even health benefits. As a matter of fact, I foresee a situation where if our lawmakers cannot help us access those things quickly, they themselves can quickly become our health or pensions benefits.
Then the article says we can call our beloved lawmakers to obtain funds for projects. Take me for instance; I’m always on one project or the other. Right now, I am trying to get my flower to grow into a tree. So sorry, I shouldn’t joke too much with this serious topic. Yes, there are so many projects that can do with some help from our lawmakers – e.g. how to make the government ban okada from taking pregnant women or nursing mothers as fares. In other words, there should be no more picking children on okada. The article says lawmakers usually know about federal grants for projects. Well, with the rapacious appetite of our lawmakers for the nation’s money since 1999, all I can say is that if you know about such grants, it is best not to let your lawmaker know.
By all means, we need to call our lawmakers. We need to put them on their toes. We need to let them know that we are around and kicking mad at the fact that they don’t seem to want to know we are around. If for nothing else, we may call them also, as the article says, to book a tour of the national assembly structures. We may want to go to the assembly not to see where our money is going (we’ll never see that) but to at least see where our lawmakers plant their behinds when they are debating those bills we know nothing about. Call yours now. I will call mine just as soon as I know who exactly my councilman is… Yes sir, I have to start from somewhere.
